In a world brimming with information and opportunities for growth, the simple yet profound mantra “If you know better do better” serves as a guiding light on the path to personal development and positive change.
Key Takeaways:
Acknowledging that you “know better” requires self-awareness and reflection.
Understanding alone is not enough; action is the catalyst for transformation.
Embracing a growth mindset and overcoming the fear of failure are essential for progress.
The first step towards personal growth and positive change is self-awareness. Acknowledging that you “know better” requires a heightened sense of awareness, where you recognize areas in your life that can be improved. This self-reflection can encompass personal habits, relationships, or even societal contributions.
Social contributions include social security contributions by employees, employers, and self-employed individuals, and other contributions whose source cannot be determined. They also include actual or imputed contributions to social insurance schemes operated by governments.
For example, smoking is a habit that many people know is detrimental to their health. The knowledge that smoking causes lung cancer is widely available, yet some individuals continue to smoke. This discrepancy between knowledge and action highlights the importance of self-awareness. By recognizing the negative impact of smoking and acknowledging that they “know better,” individuals can take the necessary steps to quit and improve their health.
While self awareness is crucial, understanding alone is not enough. Action is the catalyst for transformation. The mantra “If you know better, do better” challenges individuals to break free from the inertia of complacency and take intentional steps towards positive change.
In today’s fast-paced world, it is easy to become overwhelmed by information and remain stagnant. However, true growth and progress require action. Merely knowing what needs to be done is not sufficient; one must actively engage in the process of change. As the saying goes, “knowledge is power, if you use it.” It is through action that knowledge is transformed into tangible results. My people perish for lack of knowledge, is no longer true.
If you know better, do better: Embracing Growth Mindset
The mantra “If you know better, do better” embodies the essence of a growth mindset. A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. It is a mindset that embraces challenges, persists in the face of obstacles, and sees failure as an opportunity for growth.
In a culture where information is readily available, there is no excuse for feigning ignorance. With the abundance of resources such as books, podcasts, and online courses, individuals have the means to acquire knowledge and learn new skills. By embracing a, growth mindset, and actively seeking out opportunities for growth, individuals can continuously improve themselves and their lives.
The, fear of failure, often hinders progress. Many individuals, know better, but do not, do better, because they are afraid of failing. However, the mantra “If you know better, do better” invites us to confront this fear and take action.
Failure is not something to be feared but rather embraced as a learning opportunity. Elon Musk once said, “Failure is a learning experience. The only way to learn is by making mistakes.” Each attempt, even if it falls short of the desired outcome, brings valuable lessons and insights. By reframing failure as a stepping stone towards success, individuals can overcome their fear and take the necessary risks to achieve their, personal development goals.
Accountability: If you know better do better
Beyond personal growth, the mantra “If you know better, do better” emphasizes accountability. It challenges individuals to take responsibility for their actions and fosters a sense of accountability not only to oneself but also to the wider community and the world.
When individuals recognize that they have the knowledge and ability to make a positive impact, they become accountable for their actions. This accountability extends beyond personal spheres and contributes to the betterment of communities, societies, and the world at large. By taking ownership of their actions and striving to do better, individuals can create a positive legacy for future generations.
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Know Better Do better: Inspiring Others through affirmative action
Living by the principle of “If you know better, do better” sets an inspiring example for those around you. Your actions become a beacon, encouraging others to embark on their journeys of positive change and continuous improvement.
When others witness the transformative power of, affirmative action, they are inspired to follow suit. By leading by example and demonstrating the positive outcomes that can be achieved through knowledge and action, individuals can inspire a ripple effect of betterment in their communities and beyond.
If you Know better do better: The Ripple Effect of Betterment
The cumulative effect of individuals striving to do better creates a ripple effect that extends beyond personal spheres. It contributes to the betterment of communities, societies, and the world at large, creating a positive legacy for future generations.
When individuals embrace the mantra “If you know better, do better,” they become agents of change. Their actions, no matter how small, have the potential to create a ripple effect that inspires others to take action. This collective effort towards positive change can lead to a brighter, more enlightened future for all.
“Habit Grows Out Of Environment — Out Of Doing The Same Thing In The Same Way Repeatedly — Out Of Thinking The Same Thoughts Over And Over — And When Once Formed It Resembles Cement Which Has Sent In The Molds And Is Hard To Break.”
In Conclusion
In the tapestry of personal growth, the mantra “If you know better, do better” weaves a thread of wisdom and action. It calls us to move beyond passive awareness and embrace the transformative power of intentional, positive change. As we navigate the complexities of life, may this mantra guide our decisions, inspire our actions, and lead us toward a brighter, more enlightened future.
Tom Brady, says, the key to success lies in setting, smart goals, and taking massive action towards the attainment of these goals. Tom says a hundred years of psychological research has taught us that, setting strong, smart goals, matter, if you want to improve your chances of succeeding.
As Millennials graduate from high school, graduate from college, or get engaged to be married, career goals, should be prominent their minds.
In each stage of life, we should have, short term goals, and, long-term goals. Short term goal, are goals you would like to achieve within the year and, long term goals, are goals you would like to achieve in let’s say 10 years.
So if we were to pick up goals at a Millennial graduation from College, we should teach her, how to set smart goals, both short term goals and, long term goals. Career goals, would probably be get a job and start supporting herself or enroll in higher education.
Tom Brady says, The key to success lies in, setting goals, and taking massive action towards the attainment of these, goals.
A hundred years of psychological research has taught us, how to set goals. If you want to improve your chances of succeeding.
A, goal, is a map to your destination. It is like a seed!
Plant, smart goals, in your mind and it will be the most important decision you make in your life.
Then Care of your planted seed every day.
Tom Brady’s story.
By the mid-2000s Tom Brady was the undisputed king of the gridiron. In 2002 he became the youngest quarterback in the history of the National Football League (NFL) to lead his team to a Super Bowl victory. Two years later, in 2004, he proved the magic was still strong when he led the New England Patriots to their second Super Bowl title in three years.
In addition, Brady was named the Super Bowl’s Most Valuable Player (MVP) in 2002 and 2004. The dimpled, clean-cut quarterback had reached career heights that most veteran football players envied, and he had done it all before he was thirty years old; But HE ONCE HAD SIMPLE DREAMS
In the pride-swallowing days at the University of Michigan, when he was constantly trying to prove that he deserved to start, Brady used to sit up at night with his good friend Aaron Shea and talk about, goals, what they’d do when they made it big.
Shea, a tight end for the Wolverines, used to rattle off the typical 20-year-old dream purchases. He wanted a Hummer and a Ferrari. Then Shea would ask what Brady wanted.
“‘If I hit it real big,’” Shea recalls Brady telling him, “‘I want to be able to wake up, put a pair of socks on, and at the end of the day, I throw ’em away.’
“I’m like, ‘That’s all you want?’ And he goes, ‘Yeah, that’s what I want. I love new socks!’”
But somewhere along the line, he got big dreams. Dreams of being the best!
How to Set Championship Goals like Tom Brady
Brady was so intent on winning and becoming the very best in history to play his position, that after the Patriot’s lost to the Broncos in the AFC championship game in 2016, he had a countdown clock installed in his home gym. I am sure because he wanted to be the undisputed champion and Peyton Manning had won, this round! Competition bring out the best in us.
Throughout the year the countdown clock served as his constant reminder of his, goal. A countdown clock says to his subconscious mind. I will achieve this, goal, it is mine, it’s just a matter of time so I am counting down! That is, how to set a goal!
The world was the witness at Super Bowl 51 of Tom Brady manifesting of this goal. Down by 25 points at the half, Tom Brady and the New England Patriots came back to win the game in overtime making Brady the best ever at the game!
With his mother in attendance at the NRG Stadium in Houston and millions of fans watching, Brady did not disappoint. In a thrilling game, the first that went into overtime in NFL history, Brady led the Patriots to a 34-28 victory over the Atlanta Falcons. With this historic win, Brady became the first quarterback in NFL history to take home five Super Bowl rings.
He surpassed quarterbacks Joe Montana, one of his idols, and Terry Bradshaw, who both have four Super Bowl wins. He also was awarded his fourth Super Bowl MVP for leading a 25-point comeback and throwing a Super Bowl-record 466 passing yards. Super Bowl LI was Brady’s seventh championship, which is also an NFL record for the most Super Bowls played.
Brady failed in his bid to become the best and most decorated quarterback in history when he lost to the Eagles in Super bowl 52; but how many of you know that failure is not final. Brady will be back again and this time he will succeed because when you have a goal and you don’t give up on it, you always win that is why Coach Lombardi advise is “Never, Never give up, Never ever Quit because Quitters never win”
I am sure there will be another count down clock installed in Brady’s locker room for super bowl 53! I am routing for you Tom!
Goals they have a powerful supernatural energy attached to them!
They activate the subconscious to go to work for you.
In the book “As a man thinketh” by James Allen, Allen attaches the energy of thought to goals.
James Allen: Setting Goals As A Man Thinketh
Those who have no central purpose or, goals, in their life fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubles, and self-pityings, all of which are indications of weakness, which lead, just as surely as deliberately planned sins, to failure, unhappiness, and loss, for weakness cannot persist in a power evolving universe.
A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose or, goal, in his heart, and set out to accomplish it.
He should make this, goal, the centralizing point of his thoughts. It may take the form of a spiritual ideal, or it may be a worldly object, according to his nature at the time being; but whichever it is, he should steadily focus his thought-forces upon the object, which he has set before him. He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and should devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings.
This is the royal road to self-control and true concentration of thought. Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his goal, the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success, and this will form a new starting-point for future power and triumph.
What this means is if your only goal as you are starting out in life is to get a job with no thought to what God has placed you on this earth to do, then you will become like a garden full of weeds and wild flowers.
Since no one is tending the garden of your mind then anything will grow. This leads to failure, unhappiness and loss.
On the other hand if you set goals either for spiritual attainment, personal accomplishment, or for contribution even when you fail and you will, you will be like Tom Brady and know that given time, success will be yours.
Having conceived of his purpose, a man should mentally mark out a straight pathway to its achievement, looking neither to the right nor the left. Doubts and fears should be rigorously excluded; they are disintegrating elements, which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, useless. Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplished anything, and never can. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease when doubt and fear creep in.
Amy Purdy: Setting Goals After NDE
My daughter sent me a text message last week and said mom you have to listen to this. This is important. So, I dropped everything and listened! I was blown away. Oprah was interviewing Amy Purdy.
This is her story:
After losing both her legs at age 19 as a result of bacterial meningitis, Amy Purdy survived to lead a life of extraordinary accomplishments. Amy not only survived losing her legs but at one time all her organs were failing, and she actually died. She tells that when she died, two spirits on the other side offered her a choice of staying dead or coming back to life and she shouted No, I don’t want to die!!
She chose life the same way she chose not to be a disabled person who lives an uninspiring life. She chose to set the goal of snowboarding again. She tells the story of how she visualized in detail her achieving this goal. Amy is a Paralympic bronze medalist in snowboarding, and a finalist on “Dancing with the Stars”. Pick up a copy of her book “On My Own Two Feet: From Losing My Legs to Learning the Dance of Life.” To read about her incredible story
So today, I would like to teach you, How to set smart goals. Smart Goals, that make you want to get up in the morning. Goals, that motivate and inspire you to action.
Do you have a goal to write a book? Is there a testimony that God has purposed you to share?
Goal Setting and Achievement Step # 1 Start with a road-map
He who doesn’t have a map gets lost.
If you don’t know where you are going, then it doesn’t matter where you end up.
Begin with the end in mind e.g.
• I want to have $500,000 in my bank account at the age of 65, so as not to be a burden to my kids.
• I want to leave a legacy and an inheritance for my children and my children’s children.
• I want to have 3 children, a husband, a good job and own my own home by the time I am 35 years old.
• Tom Brady goal is becoming the best at the sport
• Amy’s goal was to continue doing the things she did with legs and then inspire others along the way.
Knowing where you are going allows you to map the route to your destination.
The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts, the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.
How To Set Smart Goals Step 2: Know Your Why?
What was Tom Brady’s Why?
What was Amy’s why?
He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure. His every thought is allied with power, and all difficulties are bravely met and wisely overcome. His purposes are seasonably planted, and they bloom and bring forth fruit, which does not fall prematurely to the ground.
Why do you want to have $500,000 in your bank account at 65?
• Do you want to travel the world?
• Do you want to be sure you have enough income to last for 30 years after retirement? So as not to depend on your kids or the government to take care of you?
Knowing your why will get you through the tough times.
Characteristics of a Strong Goal: A goal must have 3 characteristics:
It must be specific – $500,000
It must have a date for completion – 65 years old
It must be realistic and achievable – A goal can be just a dream with a date on it
How to Set Smart Goals Step 3: Plan your route
So, you want to have $500,000 in the bank at 65 years old.
If you are 30 years old now and have $10,000 in the bank, what would your route to get you $490,000 in the bank in 35 years?
What kind of investment strategies can get you there?
If you plan to work and get a paycheck then that goal will not realistic or achievable.
There are investment strategies that can get you there.
Buying and selling real estate can get you there.
Speak with a financial planner to put together an investment strategy that will get you to your goal.
How to Set Smart Goals Step 4: Measure your progress
If you have a 35-year plan to make $490,000.
You should measure your progress on a yearly basis.
At the end of year one, you should be $14,000 richer by year two $28,000 richer than year one and so on and so on.
If by your 40th year, you have made no progress, then you should take a hard look at your financial situation and make some changes.
You have to make changes to the route.
Are you still working and trying to save? We know that is not going to work.
You may have to use Leverage.
Borrow to invest. Get your credit score in shape and borrow to invest in Real Estate. I was listening to the audio book “Self Made” last week and the author said don’t buy shoes, buy buildings! Great advice.
What you shouldn’t do is worry that you would be broke and penniless at 65 years old and have to be placed in a nursing home. I know where your mind goes when you think of yourself as a failure.
Disease and health, like circumstances, are rooted in thought. Sickly thoughts will express themselves through a sickly body. Thoughts of fear have been known to kill a man as speedily as a bullet, and they are continually killing thousands of people just as surely though less rapidly. The people who live in fear of disease are the people who get it. Anxiety quickly demoralizes the whole body, and lays it open to the entrance of disease; while impure thoughts, even if not physically indulged, will soon shatter the nervous system.
How to Set Smart Goals Step 5: Be prepared for the twists and turns in the road
What skills do you need to acquire to achieve this goal?
What contacts do you need?
What additional knowledge do you need?
What resources do you need to accomplish this goal?
Remember that just because you set a, goal, and a destination don’t expect the weather will cooperate and the sky will be sunny for the entire trip.
No. Expect that there will be circumstances beyond your control that will delay you so build in a buffer. Add a few years to your deadline.
In the 30 years to your goal, you will experience set backs. A job loss, a divorce, health issues etc. Don’t let the twists and turns in the road, derail you from your goals.
I heard a story of a mother of two who was laid off and without income. She decided to start selling the things in her home on eBay to pay the bills. She then started a meet up group for other eBay sellers to learn the business. She got information for sourcing discount items from wholesalers to sell on eBay. Obviously, her household items could only get her so far!
At one of these meetup meetings she met an executive from eBay who encouraged her to become a certified ambassador for eBay. That 10Xd her business. Today she has income of over one million dollars annually from eBay sales.
The lesson, setbacks can push you in the direction of your purpose; so change the way you look at failure.
Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being. The sole and supreme use of suffering is to purify, to burn out all that is useless and impure. Suffering ceases for him who is pure. There could be no object in burning gold after the dross had been removed, and a perfectly pure and enlightened being could not suffer.
How to Set Smart Goals Step 6: Seeing your path
Use your imagination to visualize the things you want to accomplish
Visualize in color with all the details!
At 65 years old, what will you look like?
What color would be your hair, what are you wearing?
Where will you be living?
Who will be the partner by your side?
What will the house sound like when the grand children come to visit and run and play all over the house?
What countries will you travel to? How long will you stay?
See with your mind’s eye the entire life you want.
See it, touch it, taste it for 15 mins every day.
If you are a visual person you can use a picture to represent your dream and look at it every day.
Only by much searching and mining, are gold and diamonds obtained, and man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul; and that he is the maker of his character, the molder of his life, and the builder of his destiny.
So, live your life on purpose. Set goals, for achievement, for contribution for fun and play and then go do it!
Your Life Theme and, personalities, shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes and the, 16 personalities types, that can compose your identity.
Introduction
John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman. He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill. That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, 16 personalities types, controls our communication.
He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are. That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions. Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.
How to identify our 16 Personalities.
John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale. That is how you read people.
Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun. I want to appease the, personalities, so when I walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down. I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.
Our, personality, as our way of expression. Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization. The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.
Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.
True, but I look at what do you like to do for fun? What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?” I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are. I am able to identify one of your, 16 personalities types, from this test.
Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You
Your Life Theme offers the, personality, framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.
You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or “Life Themes.”
These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.
These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.
These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.
While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.
They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.
Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.
The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator
An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.
According to, Myers-Briggs, theory of, personality types, people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:
Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:
Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
The 16 personalities types
The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.
The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.
The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.
The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.
All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:
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Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?
Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?
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The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:
The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
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Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.
As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.
What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.
All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:
To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com
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Understanding the concept of ARETÉ — the Greek word for virtue and the pursuit of excellence in fulfilling one’s purpose. In the hustle of everyday life, it’s easy to become disconnected from our deepest aspirations and potentials. Brian Johnson, the founder and CEO of Heroic and author of ARETÉ, recently sat down with life coach Myrna Young to discuss tapping into our inner hero, overcoming fears, and living a more purposeful life. Drawing from a wealth of philosophical studies and personal experience, Johnson shares actionable steps toward self-improvement that promise to ignite our heroic fires.
Pursuit of Excellence: Understanding the concept of ARETÉ — the Greek word for virtue and the pursuit of excellence in fulfilling one’s purpose.
Overcoming Fear with Courage: The role of bravery in confronting life’s challenges and the necessity of courage for personal growth.
Daily Masterpieces: The importance of tackling self-improvement and excellence daily to create a cumulative impact on our broader life goals.
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The ancient Greek concept of ARETÉ is a rich and potent term referring to the pursuit of excellence aligned with our purpose. Johnson has embodied this term, making it the north star of his life’s work. He discusses with Myrna the notion that the pursuit of excellence must begin with the recognition that ARETÉ is attainable and deeply rooted in ancient wisdom and affirmed by modern science.
“It’s the essence of my life’s work,” Brian states, as he explains the fundamental importance of reducing the gap between our potential and our actions. When we operate below our capabilities, feelings of regret and dissatisfaction creep in. In contrast, living with ARETÉ fills the void with fulfillment and passion.
Johnson advises individuals to take some time away from distractions like Netflix and social media to reflect on who they aspire to be. He suggests visualizing our future selves and identifying moments in the past when we felt truly alive and fulfilled. Connecting these two points provides a clearer picture of what we can become.
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One of the supervening messages from Johnson’s discussion is the critical role of courage. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the will to act despite it. Johnson reinforces this through a personal anecdote about his son’s reluctance to participate in a chess tournament due to fear of defeat.
“The win there was going,” Johnson notes, marking the importance of the act of trying over the outcome. This illustrates the significance of instilling bravery as a value—not just in ourselves but in our successors.
The act of overcoming our inner doubter, that voice in our heads that beseeches us to play it safe, is essential for growth. Breaking through the fear barrier is a cornerstone of ARETÉ that Johnson passionately upholds: stepping into our challenges is how we kindle our inner hero.
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Making Today a Masterpiece: The Cumulative Effect of Daily Excellence
One of the objectives Johnson outlines in ARETÉ is the principle of making today a masterpiece. The idea is to focus on being our best selves in present moments, which sequentially contribute to a more significant, fulfilling future.
“Make today a masterpiece. Not someday, today,” Brian advises. He emphasizes this by advocating for an incremental improvement approach—stretching ourselves by just a minuscule percentage, repeatedly, can lead to accomplishing seemingly impossible goals.
This philosophy aligns with Johnson’s comment about teaching his son to focus on continuous learning and improvement, rather than solely on winning. By prioritizing our growth and learning from every experience, we tread a path toward mastery in our personal and professional lives.
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In retrospect, Brian Johnson’s conversation with Myrna Young is a vivid tapestry intertwining the ancient concept of ARETÉ with practical life lessons and philosophies. Readers are left with an empowering message of harnessing inner potential, facing fears with unyielding courage, and building a life of greatness through the accumulation of daily acts of excellence.
Johnson’s tale of his son’s chess tournaments serves as a microcosm of a broader narrative — that our greatest learnings and developments stem from our willingness to confront that which intimidates us. The acknowledgment that personal growth is a result of a steady, intentional, and courageous commitment to betterment is a takeaway that holds profound implications for anyone seeking meaning and vibrancy in their life.
By embodying the principles of ARETÉ such as wisdom, discipline, love, and courage, bolstered by gratitude, hope, curiosity, and zest, we don’t just approach life — we sculpt it, day by day, into a masterpiece. Brian Johnson’s insights serve as a reminder that the heroic resides not in the extraordinary but within the reach of our daily choices and courage to stretch just a little further into our greatness.
The, coronavirus, is the latest virus to reach pandemic spread. Before it was SARS, Ebola, Aids. Since these viruses come around every couple of years, learn how to protect yourself.
In this episode Dr Joe Nieusma, shares information on how viruses like the common cold, influenza virus, and other viruses operate in our body, what is the virus intent, how our immune system fights, what happens when the, immune system, looses the fight, and how health care workers stabilize patients. We look specifically on what makes the, coronavirus, so deadly and so infectious. Finally we discuss wellness programs and how you can protect yourself against the, coronavirus, and the next infectious virus, since they come around every 2 years or so.
Coronavirus Update
As we record this episode the world is in a panic regarding the, Coronavirus, also called the, COVID-19
The US death toll for the, corona virus, has climbed to more than 278
COVID-19, cases in the US have surpassed 22,000+ and there are more than 298,000+ cases worldwide, 12,755+ deaths.
Confirmed cases of the novel, coronavirus, have topped 200,000 worldwide
Federal reserve cuts interest rates to nearly zero
Italy reported 368 new, coronavirus, related deaths on March 15, a 25% rise
Many US retailers have cut hours or closed in the face of the, coronavirus
Spain reported that deaths from the, coronavirus, have more than doubled in a day to 288 with infections near 8,000
All these reports have produced fear. People are hoarding supplies. There is no toilet paper, wipes, hand sanitizer, bleach, hydrogen peroxide and other items in the stores.
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My guest today is Dr Joe Nieusma is the fearless CEO/Chief Toxicologist at Superior Toxicology & Wellness, an international scientific consulting firm that he founded.
The Behavior of viruses?
I’ve been in toxicology for 30 plus years and my specialty is exposures scenarios that the human body must endure. Exposure is the broad brush. That could be chemical exposure, that could be pharmaceutical exposure, that could be exposure to, electromagnetic radiation, that could be 5G, that could be biological exposure or microbial exposure; so the fact that I’ve specialized in exposure of the human body, that’s where my expertise comes in. Exposure to the biologicals, viruses to specifically the, coronavirus.
I opened my own practice and company called, Superior Toxicology and Wellness, providing services helping with the pharmaceutical industry and in chemical exposures. Basically taking care of people, giving them a full toxicological report.
The human body has a set amount of defense systems and exposure to the, coronavirus, in particular that’s where the damage starts kicking in.
The, common cold, is a virus actually in a classification called, rhinoviruses, which is actually a sub classification of the, coronavirus, family so they’re all related.
Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a viral respiratory illness started in … Europe, and Asia before the SARS global outbreak of 2003 was contained.
Influenza Virus, commonly known as “the flu“, is an infectious disease caused by an influenza virus. Symptoms can be mild to severe. The most common symptoms include: high fever, runny nose, sore throat, muscle and joint pain, headache, coughing, and feeling tired.
Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS) is viral respiratory illness that is new to humans. It was first reported in Saudi Arabia in 2012 and has since spread to other countries.
Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) is a chronic, potentially life-threatening condition caused by the human immunodeficiency virus(HIV). By damaging your immune system, HIV interferes with your body’s ability to fight infection and disease.
The herpes simplex virus, also known as HSV, is an infection that causes herpes. Herpes can appear in various parts of the body, most commonly on the genitals or mouth. There are two types of the herpes simplex virus.
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All these viruses consists of a protein coat, the technical scientific word for it is a capsidand this protein coat protects the genetic material which is inside the virus. The two basic types of virus you have are DNA viruses and RNA viruses. They have genetic material and they have a protein coat that consists of multiple proteins and this is collectively known as a, viral particle, so that, viral particles, need some sort of a pathway to attach to a host and get into a host cell. The, coronavirus, is specifically designed for two things:
it’s designed to get into that host cell
and it’s designed to avoid getting eliminated.
So the way that happens is that it has an interaction through a specific receptor and with the, coronavirus, that receptor is the 8/2 receptor – stands for angiotensin converting enzyme. That is the gateway for the, coronavirus, to attach to the host cell and get all of the genetic material into that host cell.
The, coronavirus on its own can’t replicate it needs to be in conjunction with the host cell and what the, coronavirus, does is what all viruses do. It hijacks the host replicating machinery to make copy after copy of the viral genetic code, so then when that host cell is so loaded with, viral particles, it virtually bores open and sends new viruses all over the body.
The virus that hijacks the cells and uses it to replicate will kill that cell when that starts to happen the body mounts a defense against those, viruses so it’s a battle between how fast can the virus replicate or how fast can the body take out the virus that’s trying to overpower the defense mechanisms of the body the defense mechanism of the body.
This is called your, immune system. The, immune system, is the super complex organ system in your body that never gets enough credit, the, immune system, in the human body has the power to ruin your life and it does that when it gets out of whack and starts attacking yourself. This is called autoimmune disease, so it is a delicate balance of keeping your immune system in check but still powerful enough to battle against viruses.
That balance that is generically called, wellness, so you can begin to see how everything is.
How the immune system works to fight the coronavirus
When the, virus, is winning over the, immune system, that’s when you start to see symptoms of the viral illness. The body gets sick and the illness progresses. The body is spending all kinds of resources to try to fight the viral load the viral replication and it’s also now trying to manage the symptoms of that illness.
The way you intercede pharmacologically that means fancy big words are saying how do you use drugs to attack the, viruses, well you need an antiviral drug or vaccine and usually those types of drugs target those proteins that are in that protein coat that’s around the genetic material or they try to halt the viral replication in the cell.
We sacrifice the one cell to stop the viral replication and if we’re going after the protein coat that’s usually the targets of, vaccines,
It’s difficult to make a vaccine that’s why there’s no cure for the, common cold, because those proteins in that coat are continually and rapidly mutating. You have to have something stable to develop a vaccine to fight that viral infection and if the mutation rate is too fast there’s not a target that’s around long enough to design that vaccine against.
How does the Influenza virus vaccine work?
The way to describe this is let’s say you have a bucket of, flu viruses, and there’s a hundred different kinds in there. The look at historic data about emergence of these different viruses historically over time and they’re trying to predict the best case scenario for which, flu virus, is going to break out and run through the human population in any given year. So what they do is they take the top three that will most likely to break out, flu viruses, and they formulate that season vaccine to those three viruses. There’s no guarantee that they’re getting it right. There’s no guarantee that it’s going to be effective and it’s always going to be a best-guess scenario. It’s still a good idea to get a flu shot because more times than not, one of those flu viruses that they have in that mixture is going to the one.
Why does the, coronavirus, affect the elderly population?
I’m understanding why the people who are dying from the, coronavirus, so far are the elderly or are sick people who have compromised, immune systems, because the, immune system, can’t fight the, coronavirus, as fast as their bodies are making these duplicates.
What they’ve seen in the population statistics are the people at the greatest risk are the people that are 70 years old or older or those that have pre-existing medical conditions, respiratory effects, cardiac effects. Those folks with those types of medical problems are particularly at risk and those are the ones that should absolutely adhere to every one of the guidelines being put out. Stay away from crowds, keep your hands washed, do not touch any common surfaces where this infection could be because they have the least amount of capacity to fight and survive this particular viral infection.
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If I had to answer that with one word that word would be, infectivity.
Basically the difference between the, coronavirus, COVID-19, this year’s poster child for pandemic is the amount of people that got this infection and how easily it spreads from person to person to person.
This is the key that sets it apart from other, viruses, like, common cold, SARS, Influenza virus, Mers, AIDS virus, Herpes virus, Ebola virus, etc.
The infectivity rate of the, coronavirus, COVID-19 is much greater and much more aggressive than viruses, that have been available in the past or attacked humans in the past. So in one word it would be its infectious nature. That’s what sets the, coronavirus, apart; but the reason that is because of the gateway that, coronavirus, gets into the host cells it’s the ace 2 receptors. (Angiotensin converting enzyme 2.)
Coronavirus receptors
Humans have these, coronavirus receptors, on your heart, on your lungs, on your kidney, on your liver, on all of your blood vessels, and in a high propensity in your oral cavity, your mouth, your tongue, your cheek, your throat, your airways; so whenever there is any viral particles, let’s say somebody that gets less than 6 feet away from you sneezes and you can feel the droplets on your face well you also have those receptors in your mouth, and your throat ,and all of those droplets if that person is infected is just chock-full of, coronavirus, and those viruses bind to those receptors in and around wherever they can get in your body and then start that process of replicating.
Smokers have a higher level of the ACE2 receptors, so they are more susceptible to the, coronavirus.
The virus invokes an inflammation response, so what happens is the virus gets in and it triggers your, immune system, your, immune system, calls for the cavalry and the cavalry consists your t-cells that’s your b-cells and all of your other leukocytes, your white blood cells, come rushing to wherever this space is that this attack is going on and the your body is mounting a mass inflammation response to try to kill whatever is there in this case it’s the, corona virus.
The problem is the things that go awry is that when your, immune system, gets completely overzealous and calls in everything it has to launch an inflammation reaction that’s bigger than it needs, it loses the braking mechanism if you will and what you have is called a cytokine storm. That cytokine storm produces such an inflammation reaction that it runs through your cellular protective mechanisms. Your lungs get flooded and your organs start to shut down.
Organ failure and the coronavirus
You can get multiple organ failure over a very short period of time. If the person is going into, cytokine storm, because of the, coronavirus, infection, it’s a very bleak picture. It’s very painful and the people have to have very intense resource intensive medical care if they’re going to have a chance to survive.
The, coronavirus, can be symptom-free up to 14 days and I’ve seen some evidence that suggests it could be 24 to 28 days without symptoms. What’s going on at that time is there’s a fight raging in your body between the, coronavirus, and the, immune system, if the, immune system, wins then that person never shows symptoms; but is still was infected and give it to other people.
The other thing which you hear repeatedly in the media, is that you have to be careful because this, coronavirus, can live on surfaces for up to nine days. Think about this as you grab the grocery cart handle and the gas pump, then after touching those services how many times do you scratch your nose or touch your eye.
How to Protect yourself against the Coronavirus?
You have to protect yourself against infection the best defense is avoiding infection in the first place.
That’s barrier protection that’s avoiding the crowds
That’s keeping your common areas clean
That’s washing after you touch common areas
It’s just not doing anything stupid
Make sure you’re in top physical condition
you know I mean just make sure
Make sure you’re hydrated
Make sure that you’re getting enough sleep
Make sure that you’re eating a good diet not a bunch of processed food
Eat a diet of half or mostly plants and you’re going to be okay
Practice Wellness
I was listening to Dr. Deepak Chopra give advice on the, coronavirus, and he talked about having a healthy lifestyle that included, meditation, exercise, and nutrition.
What is your wellness program to prevent the, Coronavirus?
Meditation is tremendous, it’s the power of the mind. You absolutely have to have a positive outlook and you have to be thinking about how you want things to be, not how you dread things could be.
Exercise the promotes a healthy body, it helps you to eliminate toxins and gives your body an avenue to eliminate things. Exercise increases your body temperature and it produces the sweat and it increases the circulation to the lymph system, which is your garbage disposal in the body. Which helps to eliminate toxins. Exercise gives you the sense of well-being. I try to do something active every day.
Nutrition like I said right before eat half and mostly plants and you’re going to be okay. There’s actually some new research out there that shows after going 90 days on a vegan diet that you change the transcription of 500 different genes in your body, some of them for promoting wellness and others for preventing disease. It just unlocks your body’s ability to engage with the consciousness of the universe.
One product that I have found that builds up your, immune system, and I’ve written a paper for non-scientific people is called C60 complete from livelongerlabs.com.
Its carbon 60, which is the world’s most efficient antioxidant. Having carbon 60 on board can help to stop that cytokine storm that happens when you’re when your inflammation response goes haywire and the other two ingredients in C60 complete are black seed oil and curcumin. Those two are very powerful natural products that have been around for centuries in the herbal medicine circles.
The other programs that I like are on my website Superior Toxicology and Wellness. Click on the HOPE button, HOPE stands for, Health Optimization Prescription Evaluation. Those folks who are on multiple drug products and think they have no way out of that polypharmacy because one doctor put them on one thing and the next doctor put them on the next thing and the third doctor put them on something else and none of those doctors took the time to look at what they were already on, I’ll do that for you. I’ll be that pharmaceutical advocate and give you the questions that you can ask your doctors to say. Do I really need to be on these drugs or why am I on these drugs. Because if you can eliminate the drugs and give your body what it needs to function optimally, you’re going to give yourself the best case scenario to fight off these pandemics.
This year it’s, coronavirus, before it was, SARS, before it was, Ebola virus, it’s always something killing humanity about every two years.
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Novel coronavirus, is among the family of, coronaviruses, that cause illnesses that range from the common cold to Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS). Until last year, the new strain had never before been seen in humans.
Symptoms of the infection include serious respiratory illness often with additional fever, cough, and difficulty breathing. Currently there is no cure nor a vaccine for the infections, so physicians treat patients based on their symptoms. Some patients come down with a bad case of pneumonia or kidney failure. Gastrointestinal problems, like diarrhea, have also been reported.
People who already have underlying health conditions may be more susceptible to the infection, and their symptoms may be different from the majority of cases — for example, they may not experience respiratory problems.
The, words, that I used all the time was “I shouldn’t have eaten that”. Then I always pray to God for help to stop me from, binge eating. I didn’t want to, eat, all of that food, so I became like almost obsessive about, dieting, and my, relationship with food and how to, lose weight.
Isabel’s new book EAT YOUR WORDS is not the typical, self-help diet book, Instead, Isabel’s approach is a more narrative, semi-autobiographical exploration of the sensual-and-painful relationship to food so many of us can’t escape. The book expertly coaches from life lessons and experiences of the uber-relatable curvaceous girl entry into womanhood. Her hearty Italian appetite make for a complex-carb tale about the depth of our relationship with self-nourishment.
Myrna: Isabel, can you share with our listeners your own journey through, body shaming, and self-discovery?
Isabel: Of course. In my own journey, food, eating and, dieting, has always been a big point of contention my whole life. It was through this non-acceptable way that I eat and always focus on the food. I always guilty after eating, like I shouldn’t have eaten it. My internal dialogue was always on how to, lose weight.
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Your Words are important if you want to Lose weight
The, words, that I used all the time was “I shouldn’t have eaten that”. Then I always pray to God for help to stop me from, binge eating. I didn’t want to, eat, all of that food, so I became like almost obsessive about, dieting, and my, relationship with food and how to, lose weight.
I started using, words, like there’s a certain way to, eat, there’s a certain way to be with food, and, diet. Each day I try to do it, there was always a new, diet. That is what has been the journey of my life. It’s been a journey of the kind of needs to come to terms with on some level and I think the, body shaming, was me telling myself my body is this way because I ate all that food and that was no way to, lose weight.
Many times in my book, my main character, I say she’s walking around with no head. This is to highlight that sometimes we are disconnected our head from our body. It’s a very common feeling or a life existence that is happening on some level. It’s kind of introspection book on the whole journey of the, body shaming, and coming to terms with the body, mind and spirit on some level.
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Myrna: How did you transition from walking around kind of discombobulated – which is a word where you’re not connected and then you got to the point where you’re going to, eat your words, because you’re not going to be telling yourself these negative things about food. What was your transition? Did you go to a Therapist to start to, lose weight?
Isabel: There have been a million people involved in this process, because you’re always a person with focus and you’re always trying to come up with a resolution to stop, self destructive eating and how to, lose weight. It’s almost like I became a researcher. It was really a journey of finding what was really in my own soul, what was I really like?
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If your body and mind are disconnected, you can’t even figure out what your, words, are saying to you. I saying to myself on a daily basis, a lot of negative, words, about myself and my body. I saying these, words, to myself before I, eat, and after I, eat.
What happens is when you take yourself to task on some level, when you start to really become conscious, you notice your, words. First thing I became conscious was I knew I needed to be in my body. Because when you are out of your body you eat unconsciously. For different people, it’s different things. I started to work out because I needed to feel my body and I was out of it. You can’t, lose weight, if you are not in your body.
The other thing was, as long as you’re feeling your body, then you get to hear your, words, and what you’re saying to yourself. So, the, words, started to become more conscious. What I have realized lately is that to be out of your body, you have to be really busy with things. If you’re busy, then you also have those, words, that are saying – oh! I’m so busy, I didn’t, eat, all day long and I’m starving. Now, I have a permission to just, eat, whatever I want, wherever I want and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter which is what we say to ourselves. So you sabotage your efforts to, lose weight.
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Myrna: Where did your, self destructive eating, habits come from? I know you mentioned that you’re Italian and, Italian food, has a lot of carbs and pastas and things like that. Is that where your, eating habits, came from?
Isabel: Yes, except for Italians are for the most part are thin! I mean I’m in the restaurant business. I started my whole life in a family restaurant business, so my focus in life became food. At an early age, when we made food, we made huge meals. I never knew what a, portion size, was like. I never used the, words, portion size, until I was in my 30s and 40s!
I would go to my friend’s homes and they would have like a bit of rice, or a bit of meat. I was like confused when I was younger, because that was never what happened at our house. I understand now the, portion size, mentality that really showed up in my whole scope of thought. My whole thought pattern shifted and I became conscious that large portion sizes defeats my ability to, lose weight.
I was no longer eating like I was at an you can eat buffet. My, eating habits, as a child made me end up with this buffet mentality.
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Myrna: At some point in time, you developed, body shame. You took me through your self-discovery, how did you use your, words, to stop, body shaming and accepting that you are a curvaceous girl?
Isabel: Body shaming, comes when you start a comparison with other people who are a certain size. You see people in a certain way and then you start looking at yourself as different. Each time you talk to people, you’re like wait, why don’t I look like you? But it doesn’t matter because we already internalized that there’s something wrong with us and that we need to, lose weight.
Whatever we look like, we want to be someone else. People start to say oh, for a little girly you’re eating a lot. Then you start to make a correlation with; I’m eating a lot, there’s weight here and there’s something wrong with what’s happening in me. I’m not okay and that’s how one starts to develop, body shame.
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Myrna: Why do you think we purposely distract ourselves when making food choices to the detriment of our health and, binge eating?
Isabel: I’m not a psychologist, I just know. I’ve been looking at this behavior for a long time. What I think is that we distract ourselves because we don’t want to feel the things that is going on in our life. I think a lot of times, when we do choose, binge eating, we are actually eating food as a distraction.
Maybe the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing kind of thing. A lot of times, we start to, eat, because we start to feel something’s coming up. It doesn’t matter what it is, it could be happy, it could be sad, it could be like anger and/or even bored. I, eat, when I’m bored.
Vignettes of the Possibly Dying is a collection of spiritual prose, poetry and meditations by Australian author KB Eliza.
KB Eliza started to write stories the year she tried to live in a treehouse. That year was an unusually wet one, with thunder that made her dog shake. As a young child, she loved to escape into the dimension of storytelling. Vignettes of the Possibly Dying are stories about faith, hope, and a strong notion that there may be more beyond our world than we can perceive. People are loving this book. One review said: Must have book.
Raw emotional honesty that made me rethink about different perspectives on spirituality and other preconceived ideas I held. I have have ordered more for Christmas gifts. Another said: A must for those searching for peace and clarity. A collection of poems that reassure spark, thought and ignite change.
Pick up your copy of Vignettes of the Possibly Dying on Amazon or by visiting https://kbeliza.com/
Notice what going on in your body before you eat that food
When there’s nothing going on, there’s still something going on in your body. If there’s something going on your body, but you’re not present to it or you don’t want to know what it is or what for every reason, you’re not used to it. I think a lot of times people don’t recognize their feelings or they judge their feelings.
I’m a night time eater. I could do all day long with no food (because every emotion from the day maybe was just piled up), but at night, I’m like a wreck for that. Not for nighttime or for that one time and it’s all starting to come up and then we’re like let’s just go for it and we start, binge eating.
Myrna: Yes, that has been my biggest struggle for a long period of time. I couldn’t stop eating at night. It’s a little under control now, but that was my biggest struggle for a while.
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Isabel: I decided to lose the word, diet. I decided to do something different for myself which eventually added more nourishment and nutrition to my day. I first started with being in my body, and then I used my, words, to say let me give myself food instead of saying, I’m going to take away food and I’m not going to eat this.
I started giving myself different foods, I allowed myself to have more nutritious foods and I started creating a new mindset. This new mindset was alright. I was totally resistant to this, but I started finding a place that had green drinks. I could have green drinks which took the edge off of hunger and it made me feel in my body. So, instead of going into the business of my whole day, I’m going to add a green drink. Just one thing, I added nutrition instead of taking something away, I was going to give myself things.
If someone once likes eating at night, instead of having the bad things we want to, eat, at night you and what would you give what did you give yourself to replace that because a green drink. Just starting to give yourself other more nutritional things maybe you want to give yourself more vegetables than that and rice.
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Myrna: How can those of us struggling with, weight gain, and a pure relationship to food face the issue head-on?
Isabel: The first thing I say is to, change your mindset. Start creating an intention for yourself and start creating a, mindset, that you’re in the middle of the process. I always like to say we’re always in the middle of the process and that we are shifting. We’re always shifting and we’re always changing, even though it looks really bad – it always looks really bad before it gets really good. We’re going to start to use the right, words.
Myrna: Tell us about your book “Eat Your Words”, why you wrote it and what do you want someone that’s reading it to walk away with?
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Isabel: The book was a way to be conscious for myself like it really was. I wrote it for myself like a journal. I was really writing a book, but it was the stories of my life. So the goal was for me to get to some kind of resolution in my life. The stories are for people to really understand that they’re not struggling in this arena by themselves. This is really to bring the behaviors to consciousness and to show anybody that he/she is not the only one going through this. I mean most of the world is going through this on some level.
Now you become conscious of what the, words, are and how they affected our behaviors and through that, there is healing that can be done when you see something that somebody else is doing and you hear what their process is. I bring up a lot of processes.
Myrna: Where does the, “Eat Your Words,” come from? I’m assuming it’s internal dialogue.
Isabel: “Eat Your Words,” is internal dialogue and it starts at the origins of the family.
Myrna: It’s all about inner dialogue? But the inner dialogue as you can imagine is kind of runs your life and it could be conscious or unconscious.
Isabel: It wasn’t so sometimes.
Myrna: It’s unconscious right?
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Isabel: It was the, words, that I would say, as my mantra was, oh I don’t care. The biggest, words, were “oh I don’t care”. However, once you start saying I don’t care, it doesn’t just apply to what you are eating. It really becomes what you start to say to yourself, the, words, you use.
I don’t care,
Oh I don’t care about myself
So I don’t care what I put in my body.
Anyway I don’t care what becomes of my life.
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Myrna: How can readers connect with you and get a copy of your book?
Isabel: If anyone wants to get the first chapter of my book, just to see if they like it or if it works for them, they can go to https://isabel-chiara.com, on that page, they could download the first chapter for free or they could just buy the book on Amazon.
We also have a membership site called Healing and Activation Process Integrations. Happy place is what I call it. It’s going to be a lot of processes that are going to help people to get inside of themselves. It can move things and look at things differently and channel them differently.
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I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.~~Nathen Aaren
Nathan Aaren helps heart centered entrepreneurs merge all of their passions into one life mission. Plan, fund and build their, dream life, and business. He’s raised over 1 million dollars per client and worked with Fortune 500 Companies and Grammy Award Winning Artists including The Olympics, Adidas, CBS Sports, Lil Wayne and Ray Ban, and produces two podcasts which charted #1 on iTunes. After being homeless, he became an agent and landed his first 7 figure investment for a client, which later allowed him to create a reality series, “Chasing My Dreams”, which will air this winter 2020.
Listen to the full interview here:
Introduction – Homeless to living your, dream life?
Nathan – There are so many lessons that I’ve learned from being homeless; but really basically I started off thinking I was going to be super successful and then I ended up being homeless, locked out of my car. I hit rock bottom, one of many rock bottoms, and over the course of that time I learned a few things.
On one hand, I learned some things about navigating in the real world. The physical existence of this life; things about leveraging, money, leveraging resources, so that you can live from a place of abundance and not of scarcity.
I also learned some physiological things like meditation and even spiritual things relating to manifestation. When it came to the financial stuff, I realized that, I needed to stop thinking about money the way I was thinking about it. I feel that people generally speaking, either thinks about, money, and there, dream life, when they are in need.
You need Money to live your, dream life
When people or are not living the life of their, dreams, or have lack, they’re not going to be happy; but when they get that, money, they’ll be happy and start living their, dream life.
Then you have other people who demonize, money, and say, money, is not important, money, is the root of all evil (which is actually interestingly regularly misquoted from the Bible). Whatever side of the spectrum you’re on, we can find a middle ground and say, “I need human beings to help me with my mission, with my vision, and my, dreams, and with my goal of living my, dream life. If I need tools, if I need resources, if I need anything that you could possibly imagine, then I need to find a way to get you those resources.
I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.
Myrna – What happened that night you were locked out of your car. Did you start making a plan then?
Nathan – No that the night I remembered an event when I about 7 years old. I was about 7 years old – thinking who do I want to be? What are my interests as opposed to just thinking what profession do I want? This memory caused me to create so many tools for myself, for perspective and for abundance mentality.
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Things like gratitude, things like meditation, and also things like just coaching myself. Going on walks and coaching myself whenever I find myself in a negative thought pattern. I’ll walk round the block or sometimes I’ll walk for miles and I’ll just say okay “Nathan what’s going on, talk to me” then I’ll talk right back.
Myrna – So at seven you started thinking about your interests and what is was you wanted to do? When did you start visualizing your, dream life, and visioning things? You mentioned meditation, tell us about your end of life meditation practice.
We want to transition into visualizing your, dream life, the power of intention, rewriting your old programs and thinking about what you want to be at the end of your life. I guess that’s your end of life meditation correct?
Nathan – When I started figuring out the, money, side of things and helping people get funding, I started realizing that I was helping people get, money, for things that maybe they lost passion in. Maybe that they thought they liked that career and then changed their mind. Sometimes they got the, money, and they started working towards their goal, of the life of their, dreams, and was miserable because it was not their Dharma.
So I tagged into the beginning of my coaching process, this end of life meditation as a way of figuring out who you are. What you want to be doing with your life; just getting really clear. A lot of clarity, so that when you’re walking down that path and you get to the point where you get funding, when you get, money, for your personal expenses and your business expenses, that it is something that just can’t leave you; because it is who you are.
I really resonate with your Life coaching package, where in either your first or second episode where you talk about who am I; I love that process. I will admit, your program is a little better than mine! I just love helping people through that process of clarity. One of the tools I use is, the end of life meditation.
End of Life Meditation to Help you Live the Life of your, Dreams
Take some deep breaths and get into your core self. Get in touch with God, or source energy. Feel that connection, imagine yourself at a late age in life, maybe there’s a beautiful window and you’re looking out through the window.
You’re on a comfortable couch and you’re drinking your cocoa, your tea or your coffee and you’re in your last days let’s say you’re 95 years old. You look back at your life and you start to smile about all the people that you’ve met, and that you’ve connected with.
You look back and you’re feeling wonderful and you’re feeling grateful. You get Goosebumps of gratitude for this beautiful life. You start thinking about how beautiful it would be to just have one little moment to go back in time and just to experience life again, maybe 20 years ago to when you were 75. You start imagining what would it be like to go back to being a young whippersnapper of 75 years old. You ask yourself, was I living my, dream life, 20 years ago? If not, what would I change?
Then you go back 30 years ago to when you was 65 and you take some time there and ask the question. Was I living my, dream life? If the answer is no.
You go back 40 years when you was 55, and 50 years ago to when I was 45 and 60 years ago to when I was 35 and you start thinking about that and you say, what would I do if I had a little bit of time? What would I do differently to live the life of my, dreams.
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I’m very grateful for the time I’ve had here; but at the same time if I could go back, I would be a little bit more courageous. Would I tell that person that I loved them a little bit more. I would go out of my comfort zone and try something new and creative. If I could go back, I would make sure I lived the life of my, dreams. That would be so great and then you open your eyes and your wish has been granted and you get a second chance.
Myrna – Nice that’s a different spin to the one that I know. I know the 85 year old rocking chair test. What is the goal of it exercise?
Failure at living your, dream life.
Nathan – There are a few goals:
One is obviously to get perspective,
Another is continue to have a tool in your tool belt the ability to make tough decisions or to get yourself to do things that you know you should do; but you don’t have the confidence to do.
Myrna – One of your tools is teaching people how to crack the code on their, dream life, and I know you’re a financial person. Now, where is the code to finances? Is that has to do with abundance and scarcity? So talk about this cracking code on living your, dream life.
Cracking the code to financial abundance in your, dream life
Nathen – My life’s mission is to come together with other people and continue to build and learn how to crack the code to living your, dream life, so I’ve cultivated a lot of wonderful tools.
One of these tools is network sharing. We get together and we do that. We crack the code, we continue to ask questions, great questions, create great answers and great solutions.
Being around people who are like-minded and who are maybe five steps ahead of you in certain areas and in other areas you’re five steps ahead, is a great way that I’ve learned to just crack the code. The end of life meditation with the life design process that I teach basically allows you to start by first visualizing, then prioritizing and then planning.
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Nathan – So visualizing is a really important step, because when somebody just goes right into, visualizing the life of their, dreams, they might not know what it is they want to do. I start off by asking them what they want to do with their life, what is their, dream life? But most people don’t know what that is, we have to connect with God.
We have to connect with the Universe, source energy. I like to ask people some things they don’t consider which is preferences and non-negotiables. Preferences and non-negotiables are basically the foundations of your, dream life.
What are your preferences in your day-to-day activities and in your day-to-day life?
Do you want to wake up whenever you want? Go to sleep whenever you want? Or do you want to have a boss that tells you what to do. Do you need structure?
Your preference is ‘No I can’t have a boss’, I need to have my own schedule, do my own thing.
Some people’s preference is to travel the world, they want to be able to work from their laptop, other people are like – no I want to be in my home with my family, I don’t care about travelling the world, as long as I have a stable income that’s what matters to me.
So by knowing your preferences is important in visualizing your, dream life.
You prefer a certain kind of humor and like to be around people every day or you like to be by yourself.
Your non-negotiables may be your purpose. The big, sparkly thing that you want to do like help everybody become successful and you becoming a successful coach, or a motivational speaker etc.
Those are the day-to-day things that are going to really help you thrive on a day-to-day basis, so getting really clear on those things is super important. Once you have Fantasized and done your preferences and non-negotiables, then you have a clear understanding of what you want your, dream life, to looks like.
Myrna – I know that you have a course called Dream University. It’s an online course and you say it’s not like any other course. So tell our listeners about your Dream University and funding and how people can get resources and your course.
How to Plan Fund and Build your, Dream Life
Dream University is an online course that helps you plan fund and build your, dream life, and your dream business. The process that I’m kind of talking about now is loosely related to that course.
The course basically step one is you say okay
‘I’m going to take a step back from trying to be productive’ and ‘I’m going to figure my life out.
I’m going to take some breathing room and I’m going to say, what do I really want to be doing?
What’s going to light me up inside?
What’s going to make me feel great that when I am 95, I can look back on my, dream life, and I have those goose bumps and I feel amazing? I feel grateful and there are no regrets.
Once we we’ve really gotten clear on what it is we want from our, dream life, I have a one-page plan which is the idea of you. It’s a one-page vision. If you take it and you put in your hands or you stick it on your wall or on your desk and you can point at it and say I don’t know how I’m going to make this happen; but if I can make this happen.
I’ll be the happiest person in the entire world. That’s the idea, you have one page, you look at, you’re like that’s it, this page gives me the emotions that I want and I’m going for it, and in the process with all the tools I have, I’m going to strive to fully engage from full abundance and it will feel great.
How to get Funding for your, Dream Business
Step two is getting funding. Now the beauty of this is even if you don’t need funding this is like from my perspective a much more robust version of a business plan, where you have something that is interactive, that you look at and you can use to get funding, basically called a pitch deck. I call it a fill in the blank funding template (which allows you to fill in every single aspect that you need to present a presentation to someone for funding) whether it be an investor grants or crowd funding as well.
This presentation, not only does it work to get you money for your personal expenses like your rent or your mortgage, your bills, your gas, your food, your groceries and so on. You can focus on what you love full-time; but also for your business expenses like if you need to hire people, if you need to buy gear or equipment, if you need to pay rent for a space whatever it is, it allows you to have all the things you need.
So you can work from a place of abundance or scarcity. This business plan is a step-by-step road map to your business goals and, dream life. There are some aspects like the financial aspects that you can use to decide. Do I need money? How much money do I need to live my specific lifestyle?
Some people want to live very simply, some people don’t want to live very simply. They want to have all these special cool neat, unique things – all is great; but you can use it for two purposes. One for your personal life, two for your business life (get funding for your thing)
Step three is to grow and at that point it’s just really about helping people get the right strategies for the things that they want to do. Reverse engineering what their end result is and finding out how they want to do that.
So in business, usually that means building the thing that is the most value that you can provide to the world and then finding where the human needs are. You want to serve humanity and tap into those audiences so that you can serve those people.
Myrna – Tell our audience how they can connect with you on online or to how to join your group or to order your course.
If you guys want to check out Dream University you can go to www.nathen.tv Feel free to text me, my number is 310 807 1998.
Conclusion to building and funding your Dream Life
Thank you so much for tuning in to transform your mind, to transform your life radio hour and podcast as you see I bring you guests that can help you to transform your life. The first thing we need to start with is to visualize the life of your, dreams. That starts in your head. You can’t hold in your hand anything you don’t hold first in your head.
I want to give you a personal invitation to my Facebook Group called Life Coach. We have daily inspirations from me, coach Myrna and from dozens of other coaches who can also help you stay inspired during the week. Please subscribe to the podcast here:
Your Subscription helps to reach a wider audience. You know, we want to help.
In this episode of “Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life,” podcast host Myrna Young interviews Sasha Smith, author of “Life of a Young Entrepreneur.” Sasha shares her inspiring journey from Jamaica to the United States, where she overcame challenges and learnt how to develop an entrepreneur mindset and built a successful entrepreneurial career. She offers valuable advice for aspiring entrepreneurs, emphasizing the importance of a positive attitude and a willingness to try new things. Sasha’s story is a testament to the power of resilience and determination. Download the podcast to gain insights and motivation for developing an, entrepreneurial mindset.
Entrepreneur Mindset: Maintaining a Positive Attitude
In “Life of a Young Entrepreneur,” the author shares her remarkable journey of overcoming challenges and developing an, entrepreneur mindset. One key turning point in her path was when she arrived in the United States with only $40 to her name. Despite the setback of a promised job falling through, Sasha didn’t give up. Instead, she learned how to braid hair and started selling her services to earn money. She then used her earnings to buy groceries and cooked food to sell at a flea market, ultimately making $450. This experience taught Sasha the importance of resilience and determination in the face of adversity.
Sasha’s story highlights the power of a positive attitude in developing an, entrepreneur mindset. As she explains, your attitude determines your altitude. When you approach opportunities with a positive and uplifting spirit, people are more inclined to help you. Sasha’s journey serves as a reminder that anyone can achieve success with the right mindset and unwavering willpower.
Sasha’s Jamaican roots have played a significant role in shaping her path as a young entrepreneur. The Jamaican spirit is known for its resilience and determination, and Sasha embodies these qualities in her journey. Coming from a scenic hillside in Glengoof, Sasha discovered her passion for cooking at the young age of five. This early interest in helping others and bringing happiness to people’s lives laid the foundation for her entrepreneurial endeavors.
Sasha’s story is an inspiration for aspiring entrepreneurs, especially women of color. She proves that with determination and a positive mindset, there are no limits to what you can achieve. Sasha’s success in owning a food truck, multiple properties, and her dedication to helping others through her charity, the Young People Rise Foundation, demonstrates the power of the Jamaican spirit in overcoming obstacles and creating a better future.
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Developing the Entrepreneur Mindset: Empowering the Next Generation
As an entrepreneur, Sasha understands the importance of empowering the next generation. Through her charity, the Young People Rise Foundation, she mentors young kids and adults, guiding them towards a better tomorrow. Sasha believes that everyone has something to offer and that starting from where you are is possible, regardless of financial constraints. She emphasizes the value of financial awareness and teaches young people how to grow and succeed, even with limited resources.
Sasha’s dedication to empowering the next generation extends beyond mentorship. She plans to build three Boys and Girls Clubs in Jamaica, providing a safe space for children to learn and grow. Her goal is to create opportunities for young people to realize their potential and shape a better future for themselves and their communities.
Conclusion
Sasha Smith’s journey as a young entrepreneur is a testament to the power of resilience, determination, and a positive mindset. Her story serves as an inspiration for aspiring entrepreneurs, especially women of color, who may face unique challenges in today’s dynamic business world. Sasha’s emphasis on embracing challenges, maintaining a positive attitude, and empowering the next generation highlights the key ingredients for developing an entrepreneur mindset.
As Sasha continues to make a difference through her various entrepreneurial ventures and charity work, she reminds us that success is within reach for anyone willing to put in the effort and believe in themselves. By following her example and embracing the Jamaican spirit of resilience and determination, aspiring entrepreneurs can overcome obstacles and achieve their dreams. So, let Sasha’s story be a beacon of hope and motivation for all those seeking to transform their lives through entrepreneurship.
If you do not take control of your, emotional intelligence, and thoughts, they will repeat in cycles. We have over 70,000 thoughts per day and 90% of these thoughts repeat over and over. That is why people get stuck in life, reliving the past like Groundhog day.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
Jenny R. Craig, LCSW, BCD is a, transformation, specialist, utilizing her expertise in assisting leaders in creating authentic, profound, long-lasting impact in their organizations and personal lives.
Emotional intelligence, is important because, Strategic planning, does not kick in until the mid-twenties.
Also any huge trauma changes the way the brain works.
As a, transformation, coach we give our clients tools and techniques that can move them through the darkness of being stuck in rewind, and into the light. The light is to find out your true purpose and discover who you really are.
Emotional Intelligence, allows you to do the mental work in living a purposeful life.
Here are four traits of Emotional Intelligence:
* Self Awareness: Knowing what we are feeling and why we are feeling this way.
Self awareness definition: They said that self-awareness is the ability to look inward, think deeply about your behavior, and consider how it aligns with your moral standards and values. When your behavior is out of alignment with your standards, you feel uncomfortable, unhappy and negative.
* Self Management: Handling distressing emotions so that they don’t cripple you. Self-management, which is also referred to as “self-control” or “self-regulation,” is the ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations.
* Empathy: Knowing what someone else is feeling. Being capable of walking in another man’s shoes. Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another’s perspective, to understand, feel and possibly share and respond to their experience. There are more definitions of empathy that include but is not limited to social, cognitive, and emotional processes primarily concerned with understanding others
* Skilled Relationships: There is not a better barometer of, emotional intelligence, than the quality of one’s relationships. When you put the top three skills together, you will have quality and healthy relationships.
Emotional intelligence, refers, to the ability to identify and manage one’s own, emotions, as well as the, emotions, of others.
Emotional intelligence, is generally said to include at least three skills:
emotional awareness,
the ability to identify and name one’s own, emotions
the ability to harness those, emotions, and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving
the ability to manage, emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own, emotions, when necessary and helping others to do the same.
There is no validated, emotional intelligence test.
Test for, emotional intelligence, looks for the general intelligence factor—and many argue that, emotional intelligence, is therefore not an actual construct, but a way of describing interpersonal skills that go by other names.
Despite this criticism, the concept of, emotional intelligence, sometimes referred to as emotional quotient or EQ—has gained wide acceptance. In recent years, some employers have even incorporated, emotional intelligence tests, into their application and interview processes, on the theory that someone high in, emotional intelligence, would make a better leader or coworker.
Conclusion
I am grateful that you have tuned into this podcast from all around the world. I believe that the spirit of God has attracted you here so that you can receive the insights, revelations and knowledge revealed on this broadcast. Whatever you need for this day in your life you will receive. I can truly say that your life will never be the same because a brain that has been expanded with knowledge can never return to it’s original size. I invite you to subscribe to this podcast so that you will receive new podcasts every week with more insights, revelations and knowledge so that you can live your best life now.
Visit me on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com and sign up for a free strategy session.
Author Traci Thomas offers, reflection on her abandonment by her mother in her book, Reflection 4 Rejection. Traci answers the question how does rejection by a natural mother affect the child’s self worth and self esteem for the rest of their life.
On, reflection, I feel that, rejection, by your natural mother, it’s such a unique, unusual, weird, inhumane space to be. It nonetheless served such a great purpose in my life, and what I mean by that is the following. It’s one of those preambles whereas once you have survived this type of, rejection, you pretty much can walk on water, and I mean that literally and figuratively. It’s one of those scenarios and situations very few people ever experience or understand. When you suffer from, abandonment, you’re in your own community and it’s isolating; but yet you’re so powerful at the same time.
With that being said once you overcome this, abandonment, and it is a challenge, it’s a lot to muddle through. However, once you get through it, and you’re on the other side, there’s nothing you can’t do. So in my situation, it’s like a head of bipartisan. I had two scenarios, two lives coexisting at one time. I had a father who had full custody of me at three years old. That’s when my natural, mother, and my dad were divorced back in 1968. I was born in 1965, that was unheard of within the United States. Very few fathers gained custody of their children or their child, so that in itself is a profound statement. That also shows you how little fight my natural, mother, put up to keep me.
I do remember one particular time my, mother, did quote, unquote kidnap me. She did take me when I got off the school bus when I was in kindergarten, and she took me to Philadelphia and thank God my father and the FBI came and rescued me. But even when she’s so-called put forth some effort, to show that she wanted me, it was still a situation where I was locked up in a room, there were German Shepherds downstairs and the FBI had to come and get me. She never really exemplified that she wanted me; but that’s okay and that’s what I explained in the book. It’s perfectly okay, because I define what, abandonment, is. It’s a supernatural definition. I actually give you, hind sights, definitions, elaborations and explanations as to what’s going on. What’s happening, why your natural, mother, abandoned, you. It took me 50 years to figure it out, which is sad, but at least I figured it out.
Wikipedia says that, abandonment issues, causes Abandoned child Syndrome.
Abandoned child syndrome is a proposed behavioral or psychological condition that results primarily from the loss of one or both parents or sexual abuse.
Abandonment issues, may stem from physical (the parent is not present in the child’s life) or emotional (the parent withholds affection, nurturing, or stimulation). The abandoned child syndrome is not recognized as a mental illness.
Mothers, who leave their children, or when a parent is alienated from their children by the other parent (after a bitter divorce, DCHS, or foster care), can cause psychological damage to the child. This damage is reversible, but only with appropriate assistance. Abandoned children may also often suffer physical damage from, rejection, malnutrition, starvation, and abuse.
I want to comment on something you said that’s a little different from my normal association with, abandonment, you said it took you about 50 years to get to the other side and it was very isolating; but once you got to the other side you felt like you could walk on water. Which is a very positive spin on, abandonment, because if you were to take a survey of the, child abandonment, community you will find that most kids end up having a lot of self-esteem issues, they don’t think they’re good enough.
When you feel, abandoned, it’s not your imagination. When you make every effort imaginable to connect or contact your natural mother and every single attempt, every single effort, every single expendable energy that you put forth, the end result is just this repellent. It’s this, rejection, of your natural, mother, not wanting you or your natural, mother, treating you as if you’re a bill collector. Your natural, mother, is literally tolerating you and can’t wait to get you off the phone. When you’re in a scenario like that again and again, it’s so bizarre.
On, reflection, once you’ve been in a situation where you’ve made every effort and did somersaults, headstands, back-flips, anything you can think of to connect with your natural mother, and every single attempt is unproductive and counterproductive. It’s toxic, and it’s unhealthy, because of the way that you feel afterwards. You literally feel as if you’ve been punched in the stomach with every single attempt to get the love of your, mother.
You’re in tears and you’re shaking, and you have anxiety, and then you go through life thinking that you’ve got to kiss every behind in the universe. You have this feeling of inadequacy this feeling of I’m not good enough, there’s something wrong with me. That’s why I wrote the book, because I do not want another human being going through five decades of what I went through. That’s why I engineered and composed the book.
My objective in writing the book, is for someone to have an open mind and instead of going through life telling themselves, my own, mother, didn’t want me. Even though that is true, instead they can tell themselves that they have every right and privilege to not want her either.
Power is something you take, nobody gives you power. You snatch power.
So what I wish to do with this work, with this writing, is to allow an individual to look at being, abandoned, in hindsight. Let’s really look at it and put an autopsy and microscope on, abandonment, for a second. If you really do this it’s not hard at all, you won’t have to go through all these dog and pony shows and tail spins. Kissing this one’s tail, and doing back flips for this person, and making your, mother, love you, trying to buy this person, begging for love, please love me, please like me. You don’t have to go through all of those mental gymnastics. It’s not necessary. I’m trying to save somebody 50 years.
Abandonment, from Relationships
Can this scenario be also transferred to people who are, rejected, period? I mean because, rejection, and being, abandoned, are not only synonymous with, mothers, or parents. Men can reject you, your friends can reject you, jobs can fire you. Is this information transferable?
I placed a laser focus on this particular relationship between a child and a natural, mother. This ironically is not, rejection, and if you read the book you’ll totally comprehend what I’m speaking about. The natural, mother, is not rejecting you, the natural, mother, is rejecting the reminder of neglecting you. The natural, mother, doesn’t even know you. How can somebody reject you when they don’t even know you? That makes absolutely no sense.
I’ve seen that the trauma that it is caused in young lives and almost every aspect of being , abandoned, or, rejection. So it’s kind of good to tell yourself that your natural, mother, didn’t reject you because she doesn’t know you. If you actually do believe that I can understand that it is easier to get to the other side. That’s good, I like that spin.
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What is the main message of your book Reflection for Rejection?
I wrote the book to give some insight to, child abandonment.
What message would you give to that listener of why they should go out and buy the book?
It would be in their best interest even if they don’t get the book, if they just listened to the podcast, because it summarizes the book. It’s their prerogative if they wish to purchase it or not. I mean that’s their choice; but with that being said.
Don’t ever allow another person, place or thing to define your self-worth. Don’t do that. Don’t ever give someone that opportunity or luxury.
I know you talked about your natural mother not really rejecting you because she didn’t know you; but did you touch on psychologically what was happening to her for her to have that unnatural response to her biological daughter?
My father, God bless his soul, was extremely intimidating. He was a very wealthy, powerful, articulate, worldly man. He traveled a lot because he was a computer programmer, so he was extremely I guess very controlling. So I give my, mother, an inkling of understanding, because he was pretty much a womanizer.
I’m not giving her a full 24-hour pass, but I am giving her an hour pass. I can’t really give her a full 24-hour pass, because there are, mothers, who have gone through the same episode and they didn’t react that way.
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One of the things that I noticed talking with you Traci is that I see no evidence of PTSD from being, abandoned, by your, mother. Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls, usually develops for girls who have been sexually abused, neglected, or abandoned. You said that every time you tried it to communicate with your mom, or tried to make her love you, or tried to form a relationship; you felt like you got punched in the stomach. At those times were you ever angry?
What’s so interesting is that I got angry at the end. Like right in the last year. My book goes in chronological order. In the book, I actually highlight the events that have occurred during the last five decades, and what’s so flabbergasting to me is that I didn’t get angry and livid until the very end. I wasn’t angry at her, I was angry at me for participating. I was so livid at myself for wasting so much time, that it took me decades to come down from the humiliation, the frustration, the hurt, the pain, the disappointment, the monotony, and the redundancy.
Getting to the other side, puts you in a disposition where you’re at total complete peace. I call it a, mother, transplant because once you realize why she acts the way she does, once that clicks in your brain, a light bulb goes off and you’re free.
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When you read the book you’ll completely understand what’s going on and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Your, mother, didn’t reject you, she can’t reject you because she doesn’t know you.
Yes, I understand what you’re saying. After you become immune to the, rejection, and you get on the other side of, abandonment, when you get to the other side, you feel empowered like you can walk on water. Nobody else has the capability of hurting you.
Childhood trauma and, abandonment, affects children in many ways.
Childhood trauma, #1
1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder,
spending or gambling, workaholics etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.
Childhood trauma, #2
2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and
yelling at each other? The typical is yelling screaming but
this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like
“you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.
Childhood trauma, #3
3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for
long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they
came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours. There’s anxiety around that.
So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our
kids there home alone.
Childhood trauma, #4
4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – The rape or Molestation could have happened
in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than
the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools
we’re supposed to teach our child another way. If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.
Childhood trauma, #5
5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma from, abandonment. Fault and No Fault, abandonment.
Here are three examples of no-fault, abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24
Here is an example of “Fault”, abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home
and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new
girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.
Childhood trauma, #6
6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to
live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even
includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t
want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was
always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.
Childhood trauma, #7
7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not
fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky.
Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.
8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a
medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time.
Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you
perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful
or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m
worthwhile too.
Childhood trauma, #9
9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved
a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years.
Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma.
Today we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass
Shootings.
10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities.
We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma.
Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they
act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or
the repercussions.
Two examples of sociopaths are Steve Jobs and Tiger woods.
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Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting, is a style characterized by a lack of responsiveness to a child’s needs. Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of their children and they are often indifferent, dismissive, or even completely neglectful.
Child abuse happens when a parent or care giver of a minor child allows, inflicts or permits physical or sexual abuse or allows a situation where there is a risk of physical injury. Child neglect means a minor child lacks adequate care and is danger of physical or psychological harm.
Dr. Adeel Khan, an expert in, regenerative medicine, and, gene therapy, joins host Myrna Young to discuss the power of, gene therapy, in revitalizing life and improving health. Dr. Khan explains how lifestyle behaviors impact chronic diseases and emphasizes the importance of sleep, exercise, stress management, nutrition, and purpose in maintaining overall well-being. He also shares insights into his work with world-class athletes and celebrities, as well as the revolutionary potential of, gene therapy, and, stem cells, in promoting longevity and natural healing abilities. Don’t miss this enlightening conversation on transforming your health and life.
The quest for longevity and the power to reverse aging has always captured human imagination. Today, as we stand on the cusp of medical revolutions, groundbreaking therapies are transforming that quest into a tangible reality. Dr. Adeel Khan, an esteemed figure in the field of, regenerative medicine, delves into this fascinating world in a vivid conversation. From the transformative potential of, gene therapy, to the roots of chronic diseases, Dr. Khan’s insights offer a glimpse into a future where aging could be drastically delayed and health span extended.
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Key Takeaways:
Revolutionary Gene Therapy: The introduction of proprietary, gene therapy, using minicircles, offering a new avenue for rejuvenation that lasts up to two years with a single injection.
Roots of Chronic Diseases: A deeper understanding of how lifestyle behaviors like diet, exercise, and stress management can control the majority of chronic diseases.
Purpose and Longevity: The significant role of having a sense of purpose in improving health outcomes and enhancing longevity.
Regenerative Medicine and the Power of Gene Therapy
Regenerative medicine, is redefining the frontiers of healing and rejuvenation. Dr. Khan outlines, what is gene therapy, stating, “gene therapy, is pretty simple to understand. It’s just basically introducing a foreign DNA into your body.” The innovation here is the use of minicircles, a non-viral vector, which allows, gene therapy, to introduce peptides and proteins to the body safely, with far-reaching effects for longevity. Dr. Khan’s explanation underscores the promise this therapy holds: “This peptide delivery mechanism is one injection, and it lasts for one and a half to two years.” The safety is further guaranteed by a “kill switch” – an antibiotic called tetracycline that can reverse, gene therapy, if needed.
These therapies are rethinking treatment options for elite athletes too. Dr. Khan discusses treating NFL players with interventional procedures using exosomes and stem cells. By aiding top athletes to avoid surgery and perform at peak level, this sophisticated approach underscores the potential of regenerative treatments.
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Leaning into the role of lifestyle choices in the prevalence of chronic diseases, Dr. Khan illuminates that “the majority of chronic diseases are related to lifestyle behaviors.” He stresses that traditional medical systems often focus on treating diseases instead of delving into preventive measures grounded in everyday habits. He notes, “those are all the big ones, and they all relate… they really relate to how you conduct yourself on a daily basis.”
Dr. Khan also points out the quality of life complications if those fundamentals are compromised, “You can’t do a lot of the lifestyle stuff if you’re in chronic pain or if you’re tired, or if your hormones are imbalanced, or if you’re stressed all the time.” Thus, while sleep, nutrition, and exercise are pivotal, the complexities of individual circumstances mean that a one-size-fits-all prescription for healthful habits may fall short without personalized coaching and empathetic understanding.
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The Underrated Health Pillar: Purpose
An intriguing aspect of Dr. Khan’s philosophy is his emphasis on the importance of purpose in health. The conversation moved into the realm of psychological and emotional well-being when he remarked, “What’s your greater purpose? What’s your mission? And figuring out, identifying those is going to give you not only resolve in difficult circumstances, but it’s actually better for your health.” This, Dr. Khan suggests, has concrete health benefits – people with a strong sense of purpose can adapt better to stress, have more resilience, and may thereby enjoy better physical health and longevity. Much as a tree with deeply rooted purpose can withstand storms, so too does a person thrive when grounded in their mission.
Transforming Longevity: A Recap of Dr. Khan’s Insights
Dr. Adeel Khan’s conversation reignited hope for a future where the control over one’s health span is within reach. The dialogue moved seamlessly from the nitty-gritty of, gene therapy, to foundational health habits, and further into the philosophical domain of finding a purpose — painting a holistic picture of health. His words carry an implicit invitation to reimagine the avenues of aging and to recognize how intertwined our mental states, lifestyle choices, and innovative medical treatments are when it comes to cultivating a long, vibrant life.
Fascination with scientific advancement, woven with the practicality of lifestyle medicine and the depth of human existential needs, forms a rich tapestry where the aspirations of living a fuller life are not just a distant dream, but a foreseeable reality. The knowledge shared by Dr. Khan is not just enlightening; it’s poised to serve as a cornerstone for medicine’s future, where aging is not feared but gracefully managed, and a healthy, purpose-driven life is the benchmark of success.
As a, Real Estate, property manager, and, real estate, investor, here are 6 tips to finding good tenants. I offer my clients the peace of mind of, long term tenants, who take care of their property and pay their rent on time.
Finding good tenants, is the goal of all, real estate investors, especially out of town investors who can’t manage their properties themselves.
What does a Real Estate Property Manager do?
As a, Real Estate, property manager, I offer a unique proposition for my local market of , Fort Myers, Fl. I will:
market your listing on the MLS, Zillow, Apartments.com, Craigslist
screen tenants over the phone before scheduling showing appointment
show property to qualified tenants
do background check on all adults, including rental references and job
If qualified, prepare legal lease and collect holding deposit
organize any repairs needed to get property ready for new tenants
move in tenants and collect first month rent and security deposits
be the agent for any notices for maintenance
organize or dispatch any maintenance repairs
All these services are FREE with the listing of the home or condo.
My fee is the standard one month rent that other realtors collect just for showing your property and putting in the MLS
Off loading the task of finding good tenants to a, real estate, property manager, limits the occurrences of having bad tenants who:
don’t pay their rent on time
who destroy your property
who don’t pay at all and you have to evict
who disturb the peace and cause problems with the HOA
Some other benefits of hiring a, realtor property manager, to find you good tenants:
Saves you time of dealing with all the calls, showings etc
As a, Realtor property manager, I have access to other Realtors in the MLS and their clients
As a, Realtor property manager, I know the areas that can command the highest rents
As a, Realtor property manager, I can do research on areas and prices on the multiple listing service and public records
As a, Realtor property manager, I have access to off market discount properties so you can buy your real estate investment property at discount prices thus lowering your monthly carrying costs.
As a, Realtor property manager, the biggest benefit to you is that you can get into the HOT Florida real estate market while living in the North. Your, Realtor property manager, will be your feet on the street.
Some other services I provide:
Do you have a property to sell? As a, Realtor, I offer the same all inclusive service to help you market your property and get top dollar
Looking to Buy a home owner occupied or as a, real estate investor? I have access to property on the MLS, Zillow, Craigslist, pocket listings and off market discount properties
If you are a cash buyer and looking for rehab properties, I work with local wholesalers to get you inventory.
As a, Realtor property manager, I can offer you a turnkey investment. I find the property, find the tenant, move in the tenant, you collect the rent!
“The Ultimate Beginners Guide to Real Estate Investments”
If you are new to investing, start today and be on your way to becoming an Automatic Millionaire Real Estate Investor. Properties in the USA average about a 5% increase in value every year. My first investment property I bought 35 years ago for $185,000 is worth over $1,000,000 today. That story can be heard all over the country. There are more millionaires being made from real estate investing than any other investment.
Call Myrna Young at 239-542-5777 Century 21 Selling Paradise and to schedule your listing or property management consultation or email me at [email protected].
You can also check out my blog https://myhelps.us/ and subscribe to my iTunes podcast to listen the Transform your Mind podcast and receive weekly tips, Life coaching advice, and, Realtor property management, tips and strategies.
How to build wealth, by clearing your money blocks. Money blocks are negative subconscious beliefs about, money, that limit you from achieving your conscious desires. Hilary Hendershott, wealthcoach talks today on the Transform Your Mind Radio and Podcast on the topic “How to build wealth, by remove your, money blocks.” Hilary was once $600,000 in depth and nowhasa seven figure net worth.
Listen to the full interview here:
Hilary – I found myself in my late 20s withmultiple credit cards and tens of thousands of credit card debt, plus I had a $420,000 in mortgagedebt on a condo. In 2008 that condo in San Jose Californiawent from $430,000 in appraised value to just $190,000. I hadmassiveuncollateralized debt, $72,000in tuition debt and I was the kind ofperson whowould spend money before it came in! I was a massiveoverspender.
Back then I had never heard the term, Money Blocks. Today as a coach and operating from my own, money blocks, I understand that I was an over spender because I had, money blocks.
The definition of, Money Blocks
The definition money blocks: negative subconscious beliefs about, money, that limit you from achieving your conscious desires. Let’s say you’re trying to save, money, but, for whatever reason, you can’t seem to do it. You spend, money, almost as soon as you get it, and you don’t know why.
Hilary – I started gaining clarity on my, money blocks, the day I pulledmy leased BMWinto the gas station and I put my creditcard into the machineto get gas, and my credit card wasdeclined. I tried another card, it was declined,I put the third card it was also declined. At that point, all my creditcards are maxed out and no one would give meany more credit cards.
My bank accounts were empty and hadalready emptied out my 401k. I had spentall this good moneychasing after bad while trying to dig myself out of this hole;because as my income was declining in2008, and my debt was increasing. So I literally couldn’t even put a tank ofgas in my beautiful convertible BMW thatday.
How I became an expert on clearing, money blocks
Hilary – Idecided to become an expert on, money,psychology. I really made a decision thatdayand I said“I‘m not willing to live like this anymore”. I understood, how to build wealth, from the beginning. I understood that our, money blocks, are as much a function of linguistics, thewords that we useto describe, money, than it is about our upbringing.
So, when I said “there’s neverenough money” I was speaking it into the atmosphere. That became a self fulfilling prophesy. There’s never enough money was my, money operating system. I trademarked thisterm, Money Operating System. Just likeyour computer has an operating system, we all have a, money operating system. That is sort of another way of saying, money blocks.
How money blocks are formed
As a child we hear adult say:
money, doesn’t grow on trees,
you have to work hard for, money
money, isthe root of all evil
Money, is evil and rich people are greedy.
I wonder who she had to screw to get that job.
You see your parents fight about, money, all the time.
Whatever it is, everyone will have a different set of, money blocks; because not everyone has thesame, moneyoperating system.
As a financial planner, I learnt, how to build wealth, through real estate investments. Iactually had a six figure income; but spent more than I earned.
How to build wealth to a six figure income
There was one year I earned $120,000 in income and I spent $150,000. I attended a talk at a FinancialPlanner Conference and this woman, who is nowa personal friend of mine, talkedabout, money blocks, and, money, psychology. She used the term“over spender”. I had never heard about, money blocks, before that talk. Being an over-spender is one way to manifest, there is never enough money.
Another way you canmanifest, there’s never enough money, isby being an,under earner. There are someof you listening to this podcast; you just can’t seem to earnwhat you know you’re worth in themarketplace. You are actually sabotaging yourself.
You deliberately pick the jobs that areunder earning.
Youunder promote yourself,
You don’t askforraises,
You get contract gigs and spendsix months unemployed.
Hilary – To make a long story short, I put what I learned into practice – I paid off all mydebt and then I got really honest and transparentabout where I was financially.
Ilived in my mother’s guest room for a while to make it happen. I lostthat condo and I paid off the debt. I started puttingmy money where my mouth was in terms ofbuilding my business. I now run a registered investmentadvisory firm. We are all women, owned andoperated.
My business earns about amillion dollars a year.My husband and I just share thenumbers; because I want tonormalize peopletalking about, money. My husband and I have a house in Silicon Valley that’sworth two million dollars and ifyou put together all of our otherinvestments, we’re definitely what youwould call financially independent. We have, financial freedom.
How to Build Wealth: Have your, money work for you.
How to build wealth, from having no money. Now we have, money, work for us; but it’s askill set that I didn’t always have.I have found out that my purpose on thisplanetis to coach people, especiallyentrepreneurs. For those people who runbusinesses,the sky is the limit for themto remove their, money blocks, whereverthey may be.
I figured it out. I sort of put myselfin, money, boot camp.I didn’t buya cup of coffee in a coffee shop for twoyears. When I was in boot camp, I gotvery conscious about what I was sayingabout, money. I now use linguistics as the foundation of my coaching. Anyone I coach, the first thing we do is remove “I can’t afford that.” from our vocabulary.
Those words are notallowed to come out of your mouth.You either say “Oh great, let me see how I can work that out”or “I‘m going to put that in my spending plan.”
Myrna – That’s awesome. Your language about,money, is very powerful.Let’s talk about, money mindsetblock. My audience on the radio are mostly African American and sometimes they are in the poverty space. Our community is predisposed to over spending. We want thenice things, we want the designer shoes and bags.
I was talking to a guy one day, hewas wearing nice running shoesand he said they were Kanye Westshoes and cost$400.I couldn’t help thinking what was his, money mindset, to spend $400 on Kanye West running shoes?
What is a Money Mindset Block
Myrna – Whatexactly is a, moneymindset block, and how does thatshow itself for somebody that’slooking at their spouse and saying maybe they have a,money mindset block?
Hilary – First of all, the idea ofthe, money operating system, is the lead, money block. For me itwas “there’s never enough money” and soall my, money blocks, are going to harmonize with thatparticularlead, money block. For example, let me just say each individualis different and I don’t mean toanswer questions for someone who isn’teven here; but let’s take the example ofthe person who spent $400on Kanye West running shoes and maybe can’t payrent, so there’s an imbalancethere.
If youask that person why he spent $400 on running shoes, he might say:
I need to have this to be sociallyaccepted,
I need these shoes so that people can think I‘m wealthy,
I needto have these shoes, so that people can think I‘mpowerful.
And if you really look, it’s probably notbecause we need another pair of shoes or another designer bag or any other another brand name to become socially acceptable. It’s an infallible hole that you can’t fill with designer shoes. Instead, if youcan repositionin your mind, if you’re really tiredof your, money, going the way that it’sgoing, if you’re sort offed up and a little bit disgusted withthe fact that you know you’re a smartcapable educated, well-intentioned person and money isn’tworking for you in your life, this is, how to build wealth, you clear your, money mindset block.
What are your 7 steps to build wealth?
Myrna – You have 7 steps to, wealth, is that how you coach someonethat maybe have an overspending problemor they have a, money mindset block, problemor their, money operating system, is notworking properly?
Step 1- Permission: Alleffective coaching starts withpermission. The first step is to decide you have, money blocks, to make the decisionthat you’re ready for change. There’s no denying that you’re giving upthe Kanye West shoes and the brand name bagsand other creature comforts. A lot ofpeople who make financial transformation to, build wealth, find that they have to move.
Theyactually need a lower cost place to live;they need to give up the beautifulleased car so they can pay cash for acar and don’t have monthly payments. You arelowering your standard of living in thebeginningand that takes courage. It takeswillingness to sacrifice,so after you’ve made a decision then wecatalog your vocabulary about money, this is really important.
Step 2– Your money vocabulary – no one ever wants to talk about, money. You need to talk about money, to find out what your friend isdoing; what’s working, what’s not working.You can provide advice or ask for adviceif you want. What do yousay to yourself about, money? Maybe some people think in picturesabout, money, or maybe it’s just anemotion. You think aboutspending, money, and you get excited; youthink about saving, money, and you get sad.
I have myparticipants that I coach, actually spenda month doing a, money, conversation log. What do you say to your partner about,money? How do you tell your customersabout, money?For example, if you’re a realestate agent and someone wants to payyou a fourpercent commission instead of a sixpercent commission, what do you say?What are the actual words that arecoming out of your mouth?
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So, let’s get specific about what yousay about, money.We’ve got a, money map,we’ve actually gotkind of your, money blocks, in black andwhite in front of us.
Now, we can really start the coaching.So, we have sort of highlighted and done the private detective workfiguring out, what’s your actual,money blocks.
I‘ll give you an example, someone I coached found thiscounterintuitively. She felt rich whenchecks would get mailed to her, so shewould put the checks in her desk and notsend them to the bank. Isn’t that strange? I can’t even identify that block,that is like a serious, money, scarcitything.
Myrna – Did she not know the checks are only paperunless you get the, money?
Hilary – No. It was completely just somethingshe was blind to,until we did the, money, conversation logand she saw it.
She saw it for what it was and she’slike oh my God, this is crazy behavior;but no one’s ever asked me about my,money, behavior, so I never thought aboutit.
Step 3 – logistics of money. I don’t teach budgets, I thinkbudgets are overwhelming and toodetailed for most people.I think that people spend a lot of timedesigning a budget and then theynever honor it or live by it, becauseit’s too restrictive .
Step 4 – Earn money – You can’t categorize every singleexpenditure you have, you’re a busyperson with lots of responsibilities. So instead, I teach a system I callautomation. It’s sort of like theequivalent ofirrigation in your garden – little hosesbring, money, to the places where it needsto be. People love it.
Then what’s left over, Youspend from oneaccount and that way when that accountgets to zero,you’re not at zero, your money goals arealreadyfunded.
That’s the plan and honestly mostpeople get through the planbecause it’s very front-loaded. It is alot of work in the beginning; but onceyou set it up, just like irrigation, ithappens everytime you turn the hose on.People pay a lot of, money, to coaches to figure out how to earnmoney and they can’t figure out whytheir, money, still doesn’t work for themand it’s because they don’t have thesesteps.
Step 5 – The ASK mindset – Learning to ask is a mindset . You can ask for a million things :
you can ask your credit cards companies for a lower interest rate,
you can ask your insurance for a lower premium,
you can ask your memberships for a discount.
You can ask for a discount at Star Buck. Just go ask. The point is not whether you get the discount or not, it’s having the mindset to ASK. We do a challenge inside my coaching program called “Get 100 No’s” You win the game by getting a hundred no’s and my assertion is, It will change your life. You’re building strength your, money blocks, are going to be different. For some, you’ll find that your, money blocks, are operationally systematized in your business processes.
Step 6 – Clearing the, money blocks. in your business – As an entrepreneur you’re either under charging for your products or services or you’re not spending enough effort getting prospects into your funnel. Whatever it is, there’s some part of the process that’s broken for you. My training is called “Eight Ways Business Owners can Transform Revenue into Personal Wealth”, it is anon-demand training from October 8th to 15th.
So, you definitely want to go grab it. This training is really for entrepreneurs who are sick and tired of working so hard for the, money, and having not much to show for it.
Step 7 – Protect – Once you clear your, money blocks, you can, build wealth, by protecting what you built.
I just want to show you how to climb out of that trap in this training and the great news is – it’s totally FREE.
I want to encourage you, please subscribe to the ‘Transform Your Mind’ YouTube podcast’s channel. Definitely trying to grow our audience.
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In, the pursuit of happiness, we need to first let go or or mental cows or, emotional baggage. In this podcast episode, coach Myrna explores the metaphorical cows that bind us, such as societal expectations, comparisons, grudges, and material pursuits. Learn how to identify and release these burdens, freeing yourself to find genuine joy and contentment and, the pursuit of happiness.
Emotional baggage can hinder our, pursuit of happiness, by binding us to routines, expectations, and unnecessary burdens.
Letting go of our mental cows, such as societal expectations, comparisons, grudges, and material pursuits, is essential for finding genuine joy.
By releasing these mental constraints, we create space for happiness to flourish and live life on our own terms.
Identifying Your Herd: Recognizing Your Mental Cows
Here is a story told by the Buddha to illustrate:
The Buddha told this story
A few monks were sitting on a bench when a farmer passed by. The farmer said honorable monks Did you see my cows pass by? I have 12 cows and they all ran away, also this year my farm got invaded by pests so I didn’t get a crop. I am so distressed; I want to kill myself.
The monk felt compassion for the man and said so sorry for your loss but we did not see your cows pass by.
Then he said to the other monks. Do you know why you are happy? It is because you don’t have any cows.
In, the pursuit of happiness, we often find ourselves burdened by, emotional baggage. These metaphorical cows represent the things that bind us and make us slaves to routines, expectations, and unnecessary burdens. The Buddha’s story about the farmer and his cows serves as a powerful reminder that our attachment to these things can prevent us from finding true happiness.
One of the first steps towards reclaiming our happiness is to identify our, mental cows. This requires introspection and self-awareness. We must ask ourselves what we believe we need to be happy. It could be a material possession, a certain lifestyle, or societal approval. For example, a client of mine believed that she needed to live in a condo on the water to be happy. However, this belief was preventing her from enjoying her current living situation. By acknowledging our, mental cows, we can begin to free ourselves from their grip in, the pursuit of happiness.
The Buddha said, “Do you know why you are happy? It is because you don’t have any cows.” This statement reminds us that our attachment to these things is what causes our suffering. When we let go of our, emotional baggage, we free ourselves from the constant worry of losing or chasing after these things. Happiness becomes available to us when we are no longer bound by what life should look like.
The Tether of Expectations: Breaking Free from Societal Pressures
Society often imposes expectations on us that can feel like a heavy yoke around our necks. These, societal norms, dictate how we should live, what we should achieve, and who we should be. However, blindly conforming to these expectations can prevent us from living authentically and finding true happiness.
It is essential to challenge and reevaluate these expectations. We must distinguish between, societal norms, and our authentic desires. By releasing the pressure to conform, we can liberate ourselves and experience a sense of freedom and well-being. For example, many women feel like they need to be married by a certain age to be considered successful. However, by questioning this expectation and embracing their own timeline, they can find happiness on their own terms.
The Buddha and Jesus serve as powerful examples of individuals who were free from societal expectations. They did not have houses or bank accounts, yet they were able to find true happiness. This does not mean that we should not have homes or bank accounts, but rather that we should not be slaves to these things. True happiness comes from living authentically and not being bound by societal pressures.
Pursuit of happiness: Escaping the Comparison Trap
One of the, mental cows, that hinder our happiness is the habit of comparing ourselves to others. When we measure our worth against someone else’s standards, we diminish our own joy. Each person’s journey is unique, and true happiness comes from embracing our individuality.
The Buddha said, “Holding onto grudges is like tethering yourself to a resentful past.” This statement reminds us that holding onto grudges is another mental cow that restricts our emotional freedom. By practicing forgiveness, not as a favor to others but as a gift to ourselves, we can release the weight of past grievances and create space for happiness to flourish.
Letting go of comparison requires a shift in mindset. We must recognize that our worth is not determined by external factors or the achievements of others. Instead, we should focus on our own personal growth and celebrate our unique qualities and accomplishments. By embracing our individuality, we can break free from the comparison trap in our, pursuit of happiness.
Materialism as a Ball and Chain: Redefining Success and Wealth
In our society, the pursuit of material wealth often becomes a relentless chase. Possessions and external markers of success can turn into mental cows that dictate our worth. However, in the, pursuit of happiness, we must realize that happiness cannot be found in material possessions alone.
It is essential to redefine our definition of success and wealth. Instead of placing emphasis solely on material possessions, we should prioritize experiences, relationships, and personal growth. By doing so, we liberate ourselves from the shackles of materialism and open ourselves up to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
The Buddha and Jesus were both free from the attachment to material possessions. They found happiness in their spiritual journeys and their ability to connect with others on a deeper level. This does not mean that we should renounce all material possessions, but rather that we should not be slaves to them. True wealth comes from within and is not dependent on external factors.
Conclusion
In the, pursuit of happiness, it is crucial to let go of our, emotional baggage. These, metaphorical cows, such as, societal expectations, comparisons, grudges, and material pursuits, can hinder our ability to find genuine joy. By identifying and releasing these mental constraints, we create space for happiness to flourish and live life on our own terms.
The Buddha’s story about the farmer and his cows serves as a powerful reminder that our attachment to these things is what causes our suffering. True happiness is only available to us when we are free from the bonds of what life should look like. By letting go of our emotional baggage, we can find a renewed sense of purpose and contentment, reveling in the authentic joy that arises when we live on our terms.
So, take a moment to reflect on your own, mental cows. What are the things that bind you and prevent you from finding true happiness? Is it societal expectations, comparisons, grudges, or material pursuits? By acknowledging and releasing these burdens, you can embark on a journey towards a more fulfilling and joyful life. Remember, happiness is found when we let go and live life on our own terms.
So how does it feel to be in a relationship with someone with, adult ADHD?
Here is one woman’s story af adult adhd
I dated 4 men with, adult ADHD, or ADD. One was predominantly hyperactive; two inattentive, one likely mixed. I fall under the vagueness of “mixed” myself, which means I show characteristics of hyperactivity — the impulsiveness, the occasional non-stop talk, the rash decisions — and inattention: the fuzziness, the daydreaming, the drifting off mid-conversation.
I learned the, ADHD, tricks early on like, touching him when I needed his attention and he was working. I learned to move my fingers from his face to mine — the universal signal for eye contact — when he began to drift off.
The two inattentive men, naturally tended toward household chaos, an inability to finish projects, and a desperate need for legal stimulants.
Understanding is the key to calming the chaos in the relationship.
I’m curious about, Adult ADHD symptoms. Does kids with, ADHD, become adults with, adult ADHD?
For clarity let’s make sure people understand the acronym for, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Individuals can have, attention deficit disorder, without the hyperactivity and that disorder is ADD. Things to keep in mind about, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or, Adult ADHD, is that, yes you can have, ADHD, in childhood and about 60% of kids grow up still having the same symptoms and become, adult ADHD. One of the interesting pieces about this is that it’s important for folks not to misconstrued information about what they’re seeing the adult exhibit. Certain characteristics of, Adult ADHD, can mimic other disorders like for example Thyroid disease.
Does the 40% of kids who don’t have, adult ADHD, become cured?
Not necessarily , they could have developed coping skills to manage the, ADHD, behavior so the symptoms were minimized. They could have also learned strategies on how to behave or how to compensate for the symptoms.
What are the different types of, Adult ADHD?
When you look at the diagnostic and statistical manual that psychologists use. It gives you clarity on how, Adult ADHD, is diagnosed. There are different types 3 types of symptoms that we see in, ADHD.
Inattention
Impulse Control
Hyperactivity
We have to go through the process and can’t have people diagnosing themselves or their children or anyone else with the disorder. Sometimes you have symptoms because people don’t have appropriate amounts of minerals in their body or they might be subject to low levels of magnesium. Things like that or people might have other diseases that might mimic, ADHD symptoms, so get these things ruled out with blood work.
ADHD in adults could mean you have an, ADHD, partner.
Here is what happening in their brain. What exactly is happening in the brain to cause someone to develop symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?
The Adult ADHD brain has impaired activity in four functional regions of the brain.
Frontal Cortex. This region controls high-level functions: …
Limbic System. This region is located deeper in the brain. …
Basal Ganglia. …
Reticular Activating System.
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To test for, adult ADHD, one has to look at the functions of the brain. The neurotransmitter in the brain is affected in ADHD. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for how we organize our cognitive flexibility and being able to control ourselves and things that come into our frame of reference.
The Basal Ganglia helps to regulate communication within the brain, sending signals from one neuron to the other and is responsible for our motor control movement. The Basal Ganglia is also responsible for regulating emotional volatility and the Reticular Activating System is our major relay system. It controls the many pathways that enter and leave the brain and is responsible for arousal and consciousness.
Dr Gray who is the author of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus wrote an article in which he claims that men with, Adult ADHD, have problems committing to women because of the disorder. Do you agree with that statement?
No, not at all. I think there are other reasons that men can’t commit to women. Dr Gray is trying to give these men a pass. I would love to see his research.
Does, ADHD, medications cure the disorder?
Medications for, ADHD, are non-stimulant and stimulant meds depending on what the individual the parents would choose. I always think of other Alternatives besides the use of pharmaceuticals. I would rather use in a non-medication treatment or neuro feedback to help with symptoms of, ADHD. Bio feedback can cure the disorder, medication just masks or controls but never cures.
if you give anyone who clearly has, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, medication for 6 months and the other Bio Feedback for 6 months, you will see the difference in the treatment results.
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I came across an article from Dr Gray and he was specifically talking about men who develop, Adult ADHD, because of pornography. He said pornography is re wiring men’s brain and causing them to develop, ADHD. He said pornography also blocks love and connection with their partner.
One out of ten American children have been diagnosed with ADHD,
One out of seven American women over 55 will develop dementia,
Statistics reveal a greater risk of ADHD in children of divorced parents, particularly when boys are missing the regular influence of their fathers or their mothers are unable to find happiness
