At 211 degrees, water is hot. At 212 degrees it boils and turns to steam. That steam can power a train. The extra, one degree of effort is all it takes to go from water to steam. Are you living your life on cruise control? If so, you will always be mediocre and always missing the podium. So, I want to share with you what happens between, 211 degrees, and just one extra degree at, 212 degrees.
At, 212 degrees, water boils, it turns to steam, and steam can power a train. One extra, degree, can change the state of water. One extra, degree of effort, can be the thing that takes you to the next level. One extra, degree of effort, in sports and life, can separate the good from the great. One extra, degree of effort, can change your life.
Here are some examples of that one degree of effort.
Olympic – Men’s Giant Slalom 0.17 seconds was the margin of victory that means that the winner gave that extra, degree of effort, to win by 0.17 seconds.
Olympic men’s 800-meter 0.05 seconds margin of victory. That means a push at the finish line. 0.05 seconds is a neck!
By giving that one extra, degree of effort, moved them from hot to steaming, these champions achieved results beyond their wildest expectations.
You can get to, 212 degrees, daily. The extra, degree of effort, is something we can all apply ..every day.
This is your life you are responsible for the results.
Those results that can take you beyond your wildest dreams.
So, if you want to win, then it is time to turn up the heat.
Nobody wants a Luke warm person.
Are you Lukewarm in your affections?
Lukewarm in your efforts?
If you are not feeling the heat, you are not pushing hard enough.
Have you ever tried to build muscle? How do you build muscle? You build muscle by giving that extra degree of effort to feel the burn. When you feel the burn, we always want to stop, but you have to do one more repetition, you have to feel the pain that extra degree of effort to get to 212 degrees!!
Arnold Schwarzenegger said he used to work his arms until they hung limp at his sides shaking.
Do you think he was lukewarm in his training? No, the 6-time Mr. Olympia had steam coming from his nostrils!
Here are 3 ways to turn up the heat to get you to 212 degrees:
Consider the ABC’s of change:
Attitude: Everything starts with your attitude. When you turn up the heat, water starts the process of turning into steam. A small change in your, attitude, can have a positive impact on your behavior. When you have a positive, growth mindset, gritty attitude, your behavior improves. When you believe you can do something, you attack it with more force. Approach everything with the right attitude. You have to believe you can win. Water knows it can turn to steam.
Behavior: Growth and improvement happen in small, consistent acts over time. Show me your habits and show me how you are acting and behaving and I will show you how you will perform. Water changes when its temperature changes. We perform better when we make positive changes in our behavior and have better habits.
Consistency: You can’t do something just once and expect to see change. When water gets to, 212 degrees, it starts to steam, but if you remove it from the heat then drops back down to, 211 degrees, it will return back to just water at 32 degrees. If you can’t stay consistent, you will fall back to who you were, lukewarm.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna
In a world brimming with information and opportunities for growth, the simple yet profound mantra “If you know better do better” serves as a guiding light on the path to personal development and positive change.
Key Takeaways:
Acknowledging that you “know better” requires self-awareness and reflection.
Understanding alone is not enough; action is the catalyst for transformation.
Embracing a growth mindset and overcoming the fear of failure are essential for progress.
The first step towards personal growth and positive change is self-awareness. Acknowledging that you “know better” requires a heightened sense of awareness, where you recognize areas in your life that can be improved. This self-reflection can encompass personal habits, relationships, or even societal contributions.
Social contributions include social security contributions by employees, employers, and self-employed individuals, and other contributions whose source cannot be determined. They also include actual or imputed contributions to social insurance schemes operated by governments.
For example, smoking is a habit that many people know is detrimental to their health. The knowledge that smoking causes lung cancer is widely available, yet some individuals continue to smoke. This discrepancy between knowledge and action highlights the importance of self-awareness. By recognizing the negative impact of smoking and acknowledging that they “know better,” individuals can take the necessary steps to quit and improve their health.
While self awareness is crucial, understanding alone is not enough. Action is the catalyst for transformation. The mantra “If you know better, do better” challenges individuals to break free from the inertia of complacency and take intentional steps towards positive change.
In today’s fast-paced world, it is easy to become overwhelmed by information and remain stagnant. However, true growth and progress require action. Merely knowing what needs to be done is not sufficient; one must actively engage in the process of change. As the saying goes, “knowledge is power, if you use it.” It is through action that knowledge is transformed into tangible results. My people perish for lack of knowledge, is no longer true.
If you know better, do better: Embracing Growth Mindset
The mantra “If you know better, do better” embodies the essence of a growth mindset. A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. It is a mindset that embraces challenges, persists in the face of obstacles, and sees failure as an opportunity for growth.
In a culture where information is readily available, there is no excuse for feigning ignorance. With the abundance of resources such as books, podcasts, and online courses, individuals have the means to acquire knowledge and learn new skills. By embracing a, growth mindset, and actively seeking out opportunities for growth, individuals can continuously improve themselves and their lives.
The, fear of failure, often hinders progress. Many individuals, know better, but do not, do better, because they are afraid of failing. However, the mantra “If you know better, do better” invites us to confront this fear and take action.
Failure is not something to be feared but rather embraced as a learning opportunity. Elon Musk once said, “Failure is a learning experience. The only way to learn is by making mistakes.” Each attempt, even if it falls short of the desired outcome, brings valuable lessons and insights. By reframing failure as a stepping stone towards success, individuals can overcome their fear and take the necessary risks to achieve their, personal development goals.
Accountability: If you know better do better
Beyond personal growth, the mantra “If you know better, do better” emphasizes accountability. It challenges individuals to take responsibility for their actions and fosters a sense of accountability not only to oneself but also to the wider community and the world.
When individuals recognize that they have the knowledge and ability to make a positive impact, they become accountable for their actions. This accountability extends beyond personal spheres and contributes to the betterment of communities, societies, and the world at large. By taking ownership of their actions and striving to do better, individuals can create a positive legacy for future generations.
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Know Better Do better: Inspiring Others through affirmative action
Living by the principle of “If you know better, do better” sets an inspiring example for those around you. Your actions become a beacon, encouraging others to embark on their journeys of positive change and continuous improvement.
When others witness the transformative power of, affirmative action, they are inspired to follow suit. By leading by example and demonstrating the positive outcomes that can be achieved through knowledge and action, individuals can inspire a ripple effect of betterment in their communities and beyond.
If you Know better do better: The Ripple Effect of Betterment
The cumulative effect of individuals striving to do better creates a ripple effect that extends beyond personal spheres. It contributes to the betterment of communities, societies, and the world at large, creating a positive legacy for future generations.
When individuals embrace the mantra “If you know better, do better,” they become agents of change. Their actions, no matter how small, have the potential to create a ripple effect that inspires others to take action. This collective effort towards positive change can lead to a brighter, more enlightened future for all.
“Habit Grows Out Of Environment — Out Of Doing The Same Thing In The Same Way Repeatedly — Out Of Thinking The Same Thoughts Over And Over — And When Once Formed It Resembles Cement Which Has Sent In The Molds And Is Hard To Break.”
In Conclusion
In the tapestry of personal growth, the mantra “If you know better, do better” weaves a thread of wisdom and action. It calls us to move beyond passive awareness and embrace the transformative power of intentional, positive change. As we navigate the complexities of life, may this mantra guide our decisions, inspire our actions, and lead us toward a brighter, more enlightened future.
Setting goals, in, clock time, means we are not emotionally attached to them. We are able to enjoy the journey and not just the destination. But when you, set goals, in, psychological time, you are never fulfilled when you achieve them. You have heard of people who, set goals, and when they attain these goals, they are only happy for a brief moment and then they are unfulfilled again. That is because they are psychologically attached to the goal. The subconscious mind is telling them that until this goal is achieved, happiness is not possible. Or until this goal is achieved, they are not successful.
Let’s say owning a house on the beach is your symbol of success and you tell yourself that until you live on the beach in a beautiful mansion, you cannot feel fulfilled or feel successful. This means that you are not going to enjoy the journey. You are psychologically tied to living on the beach as your means to the end.
Or let’s take the goal of being married. Most women have this goal.
Marriage could be a symbol of acceptance that you are enough, because someone says you complete them, or they can’t live without you etc. Marriage could symbolize the success you dreamed of as a little girl.
But what happens when you achieve this goal? Does it create lasting happiness? The divorce rate is 50% or higher. Nothing wrong with that goal but do you stop living until you get married. Are you enjoying all the perks of being single?
Does achieving any goal fulfill you forever? You know the answer to the question.
That is because goals set using, psychological time, says that until this event happens, you will not be happy or successful or fulfilled. When you achieve these goals, you are happy for a few days and then you are not.
Goals set with, psychological time, never fulfills because the goal post is always moving.
It is okay to set goals, but you must enjoy the present moment.
You must enjoy where you are now.
If you ask yourself what is lacking now, the answer should always be nothing.
Goal setting, in, clock time, says If success comes, I will accept it, but if it doesn’t, I am okay with that too.
That is why we can’t tell ourselves that until something happens in life then we will be happy, fulfilled, complete etc. because not only can you die waiting for this goal to manifest, but if you achieve this goal, you will still not be complete or happy. Why because you have to take care of the inside before things on the outside.
When you take care of your inside, joy is always your partner. You are happy with or without. You are happy for the breath of life. If you add success to this you will find fulfillment.
Gratitude, is at the top of the, positive emotions, list and is an energy that attracts goodness into your life. Jesus, said, gratitude, can also make you, whole.
Welcome back to the transform your mind to transform your life the podcast. You are listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. Today I want to teach on the topic Why God loves Appreciative people. I want to use as my foundation scripture Luke 17:15 to 18
One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him.
Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you whole.
My Pastor Apostle Glover preached this message a few weeks back and it brought to my awareness that I have a good life because I came back to say thanks to God.
Just to be sure I knelt at the alter and gave God thanks for every blessing in my life.
I am big on, gratitude, my parents taught me to say thanks for everything I received. I never complete an email without thanking the person who sent it.
I have had personal relationships with people who were never appreciative of what others did for them and because of that never experienced life’s abundance and always struggled. They were never, grateful.
The 10 lepers healed by Jesus
Jesus said to the one leper, who returned that his, gratitude, or faith made him, whole. Why is, gratitude, so important to God?
Gratitude, is at the top of the, positive emotions, list and is an energy that attracts goodness into your life. Jesus, said, gratitude, can also make you, whole.
To be, whole, means that your insides match your outside. In other words if you feel peace and joy on the inside, life will present you peaceful experiences on the outside.
On the other hand, if everything in your world is chaotic then you know that you have no internal peace.
Wholeness is the state of being perfectly well in body, soul (mind, will and emotions) and spirit.
God expects us to give thanks for our blessings or we will not be well in body soul and spirit. That why God loves appreciative people.
How many times you have heard people say that they had huge financial success, but no peace or happiness on the inside? They did not feel fulfilled. That’s because there were not, whole. Maybe they are one of the ones who never came back to thank the Lord for blessing them with abundance and overflow. Only, gratitude, makes you whole.
When you live in, gratitude, God promises to pour our blessings you don’t have room to receive.
Don’t be like the nine, lepers, who were so happy to be healed that they forgot to come back and thank the person who healed them. Remember to thank the people who helped you along the way. Not just your parents, but teachers, friends who were there for you in your time of need, supervisors who trained you or didn’t fire you when you messed up and of course your team. The people who help you succeed.
When you, give thanks, that energy seeps into all areas of your life creating, wholeness.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I hope you were inspired to always give thanks and be, grateful, because God loves appreciative people. Until next time Namaste
The, desert, is a harsh, dry place sometimes called the, wilderness, and most of us have to go through it to get to our promised land. In this episode of, 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I teach you how to, bloom, in the, desert.
There is no, promised land, if you don’t go through the, wilderness. You have to go through the, desert, to get to your, promised land.
You can’t drive by in your air conditioned vehicle. You have to spend some time in the, wilderness, and learn how to bloom in the dry harsh conditions.
You have to go through something to get to something
There is no, promised land, if you don’t go through the, wilderness. You have to go through something to get to your, promised land.
In the Bible, the term “Promised Land” refers to a specific region of land that God endowed to His chosen people, as part of their heritage. (Genesis 12, Genesis 26:3, Genesis 28:13) God first gave this pledge of land to Abraham saying, “I will establish your borders from the Red Sea to the Mediterranean Sea, and from the desert to the Euphrates River.” He then reiterated the vow to Abraham’s descendants until the time came for His people to claim their inheritance.
The people of Israel wandered in the, wilderness, for 40 years before they were ready to inherit the promise.
You have to spend time in the wilderness, you can’t drive through
You have to spend some time in the, wilderness. You can’t pass through in your air conditioned vehicle. You have to spend some time in the, wilderness. The, wilderness, is your in between place. You have to spend time there, but God does not intend for you to stay there. God did not intend for you or the people of Israel to die in the, wilderness.
If you die in the, wilderness, then you were never supposed to inherit, the promised land.
God promises to make a way out of no way, but in order for you to understand that promise you have to find yourself in a situation with no way out.
The pandemic was a, desert place, over a million people died. We couldn’t drink from our church, our family, our jobs, all the places we drank from was closed off to us.
The profit Elijah found himself in the, desert, and God sent him to a brook where the ravens fed him. Find your brook. What is feeding you in your, desert place?
God says that no weapons formed against you shall prosper, he did not say the weapons will not be formed. You have to hold on and find the strength to fight the enemy and the weapons formed against you.
Sometimes you have to spend some time in the, desert place, in the place of loneliness, in the darkness of the night. The promise that joy comes in the morning is your scripture of your, promised land. Find your brook and hold on to the promise.
Even if you are in a fruitful place on the mountain top, if you keep walking, you will have to pass through the, desert! Life is made up of hills and valleys.
Your experience in the wilderness allows you to bloom
If you look back on your life you grew most in your, desert place.
What can cause a desert to blossom into a rose? Roses need water. They don’t do well with intense heat from sun blazing all day. It has no shade.
Is there anyone reading this who has blossomed while living in a concrete jungle? Who has blossomed living with abusive parents? Who has blossomed in the desert place of extreme property? Read Viola Davis story and it will give you hope that you could be the rose that, blooms in the, wilderness.
The purpose of the, desert, is to teach you how to walk with the giver of living waters, The Holy Spirit.
We are born with invisible, seeds of greatness, inside of us, that we need to nurture in a, tree. endowed with a combination of unique gifts, strengths, and talents. Some of us are born into less-than-ideal circumstances, and some of us are born into a more privileged life. Regardless of economic realities, or the environment we were born into, each of us has the ability to nurture our, seeds of greatness, as our own unique, seeds. It doesn’t matter where you start out only where you end up.
In order for your, seeds of greatness, to become a harvest, you must consistently tend to them. If you neglect the God-given, seeds, you were born with, they will eventually die because the, weeds of neglect, will kill them.
Sadhguru says that all of us have come into this world with the same, seeds, but for this, seed, to become a, tree, between a, seed, and the, tree, there is a journey to be made. If you want the, seed, to become a, tree, you have to nurture the, seed, and you have to protect it from the, weeds, of automatic negative thoughts.
The same, weeds, have been bothering humanity for a million years, still human beings haven’t figured out how to handle these, weeds. Weeds of life, like anger, hatred, jealousy, fear, endless doubt. These, weeds, have lasted so long, because, weeds, don’t need any care, they sprout up because we don’t cultivate the, garden of our minds. Weeds, don’t need any protection, weeds, don’t need any cultivation, they just grow without any help from you; but if you want a, sacred seed, to sprout and prosper, you have to pull up the, weeds, you have to cultivate the land which is your mind.
Your seeds need water and sunlight to turn into a tree
You have to make sure enough water and sunlight finds its way to the, seed. How do you do that? Let’s say you were born with the talent of singing, you have to nurture your vocal cords, you have to protect your voice, you have to practice singing daily until you can sign like an opera star. What are the, weeds, that could snuff out your talent? Like Sadhguru says doubt. Maybe jealousy of someone who is better that you because they are giving their talent the sunlight it needs and you are in the corner doubting yourself and being jealous of them.
Are you surrounded by thorns that are choking out what your heart desires and what you were put on this earth to do, or are you planting your, seeds, in fertile soil where your dreams can flourish?
What, seeds of greatness, do you have to plant and nurture into a, tree? Does your mind provide the fertile soil where your dreams can take root?
How do you nurture your, seed, into a, tree? You prepare the soil of your mind and make sure it is fertile and conducive to the growth of your, seed.
In the episode of 5 Min Fridays with Coach Myrna, I share 4 secrets to improving yourself as taught by Jim Rohn. Every book you read, every podcast you listen to, every seminar you attend, starts changing your philosophy. Now if you’re excited, and you’re ready to change your lifestyle and improve yourself, here are the steps to improve yourself. Improving yourself will one day show up in your bank account and in your lifestyle.
You don’t have to change what’s outside, all you got to change is what’s inside. To have more you simply have to become more. Don’t wish it was easier wish, you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Start working on improving yourself by making these personal changes and it’ll all change for you.
Jim Rohn, says here’s the secret, learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. Once I got that it turned my life around. He said if you work hard on your job, you’ll make a living. If you work hard on yourself, you can make a fortune. He said If you would have known me at age 25 you would have said, Jim Rohn’s, a hard worker you didn’t know me you would have said that. I’m the guy that don’t mind coming in a little bit early, and staying a little bit late. But If you’ll start working harder on yourself than you do on your job, work hard on yourself and develop the skills, work hard on yourself and develop the graces all of the stuff necessary to become more valuable to the marketplace. Your whole life can explode into change.
When you improve yourself Life is no problem
Promotions – no problem
Becoming more valuable to the company – no problem
Money – no problem
Economics – no problem
Future – no problem.
You just go to work on the right thing. Don’t try to change the seed, don’t change the soil, don’t change the sunshine, don’t change the rain, don’t change the mix of seasons.
Let the miracle of everything that’s available work for you and start working on the inside.
Work on your philosophy.
Work on your attitude.
Work on your personality,
Work on your language,
Work on the gift of communication,
Work on all of your abilities.
If you’ll start making those personal changes, I’m telling you, everything will change for you.
Success is not something you pursue
Success, is something you attract by the person you become. Success, is not something you pursue. So, the whole key to unlock all the treasures, whether it’s economic treasures or spiritual treasures, financial, social personal every way you can possibly think of is by your own, personal development.
Then he added one more which is so important, and it’s probably worth its weight in gold. Here it is. What you become is much more valuable than who you are today. You become by the books you read, you become by the thoughts you have. If you want the things on the higher shelf, you got to stand on the books you read. Every book you read; you get to stand a little higher, so you can get the things on the higher shelf.
Every book you read, every podcast you listen to, every seminar you attend, starts changing your philosophy. Now if you’re excited, and you’re ready to change your lifestyle and, improve yourself.
Here’s the steps to improve yourself:
Find out how things work. The first key to doing better and improving yourself is find out how things work.
Then you need, ideas. The books you read can give you, ideas. Become a good reader. All of the successful people I know, they’re all good readers. Curiosity drives them to read. You need, ideas, on a new business, you need ideas to start something new. You may think you need, money; no the problem is lack of, ideas on creating wealth. It isn’t lack of, money. It’s a, lack of ideas. So, if you get the idea so you can change anything. When you find out something that works, put the information in your journal. Don’t use your head for a filing cabinet. Put it in your journal so that you can do the next best thing, Repetition, repetition, go over it. And if you repeat it, go over it. Sure enough, someday, some mysterious day. The idea takes root and shows up in your bank account and your lifestyle.
Study success, it leaves clues. If you wish to be successful, study success. If you wish to be happy study happiness. If you wish to be wealthy study wealth, don’t leave it to chance. Make it a study. Some people just go through the day with their fingers crossed. You’ve got to study the things that can change your economic, social, spiritual personal life.
Finally, learn, study, grow, change. It’s what, how to improve yourself, is all about. Human development, takes time, incredible amounts of time. It does take time for personal development, it does take time for, spiritual development, physical development and, mental development. So, it is important to keep feeding the mind, nourishing the mind.
Conclusion
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of, 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I hoped you were encouraged to keep improving yourself daily by reading and looking for new ideas because whenever you seek, you will find.
Today I want to give some, relationship advice, and teach on the topic Ten ways women jump into the wrong, relationships.
I have heard it said that, women are responders, and it is true. Men know this and that is why they court us. And sometimes we find ourselves in relationships just because we were courted. eHarmony says that both men and women can fake us out for 2 years before we see who they truly are.
So today I want to share about some of the ways we as women jump into the wrong relationships.
Relationship advice: Don’t ignore the warning signs
We as women ignore the, warning signs; we ignore the internal alarms and move ahead into a love fantasy. Thinking we are the one that can make him change. Case in point, a man hollers at you and he is living with a woman or he is married. He tells you that he is only there for some reason and that he no longer loves his wife. He promises to leave in a certain amount of time. 99% of the time men never leave, but let’s say he will and string you along sometimes for years. Don’t ignore the, warning signs. Let me give you some, relationship advice, If he hasn’t left before he met you, he ain’t going leave.
Some women feel that it is a dog eat dog would out there and that good men are hard to find. Because we fear being alone, we accept the first person who comes along, only to be left beaten, ripped off and sometimes even impregnated. Here is some, relationship advice, never go into, relationships, as a needy person. Men can smell your need, It’s like giving beef to a blood hound. Its not going to end well for you.
Another reason women jump into the wrong, relationships, is we confuse friendship for romantic love. Love is about chemistry; friendship is a bonus in a love relationship, but friendship without love is a roommate arrangement.
As women we have a hard time saying No, so sometimes when you just want to be friends we get caught up in intimate, relationships, and have no chemistry with our partner. Some, relationships, should stay as friends but we have a hard time saying no, I just want to be friends. Next thing you know he is asking to move in and you say yes or even marry him and you know that you are not in love.
You get caught up in packaging and promises. We all like the playboys. They look good, they know how to make you feel like a woman, but you are just a plaything for them. You fall in love and they just like you. They have no intention of taking the, relationship, to the next level while you are shopping for wedding dresses.
You demand a commitment or issue an ultimatum and the man goes along with it because it suits his purpose at the time. But how many of you know you can’t force love it is either there or it is not so he goes along with it until he finds something better. You become his in the meantime woman.
As I mentioned earlier, women are responders, so men dole out gifts and charm and we respond to the treatment without exploring if this, relationship, is right for us. But how many of you know that people can only play roles for a short time. Sooner or later usually after the man gets what he wants they move on to the next victim.
You allow blind faith, which leads to blind love, to take you into a relationship that is unhealthy. A lot of Christian women would stay in unhealthy relationships praying to God to fix the other person, but if God didn’t send the man, he is not going to fix him.
Sexual compatibility, is mistaken for love. It took me a while to understand that sex and love are two different things. Women are emotional creatures and usually fall in love with their, sexual partners, men on the other hand are very good at compartmentalization. They are able to separated good sex from love.
Breaking up is hard to do. Women stay in, relationships, even though they are miserable trying to work things out even though most times the men have already moved on emotionally. I have learned personally men leave emotionally long before they leave physically.
Single means not married. If you have a boyfriend, you are single. If you are engaged, you are single. If you live with a guy, you are single.
So, what is the right way to be single?
Should you go to clubs and pick up guys for one-night stands? Should you play the algorithms from dating sites? Should you get a rule book and play the rules?
In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I share what you should do while prepare yourself for love.
I just finished watching the movie, How to be Single. The movie showcases three, single ladies. One woman using algorithms to select her perfect mate from 10 dating sites. Her goal was to find a mate and get married 18 months after meeting her man.
The second woman chose to sleep with strange men and have no meaningful connection with any of these men. To her sex was just a bodily function like peeing.
The 3rd woman didn’t want to be, single, so she slept with men hoping it would lead to something, but the timing was always wrong. She kept meeting men who were emotionally unavailable or wanted to play the one-night stand game. In the end she decided that it was great being alone and doing her own thing. She even either purchased or made her own contraption to pull down her zipper!
Single ladies are looking but not finding single men
I am sure most of the women listening to this podcast are not married, because it seems to be the culture. Everybody is looking but nobody is finding.
Also, it may seem condescending but let me share the definition of, single. Single, means not married. If you have a boyfriend, you are, single. If you are engaged, you are, single. If you live with a guy, you are, single.
So, what is the right way to be single?
Should you go to clubs and pick up guys for one-night stands? Absolutely not. I don’t know who started that trend. Probably the same person who made up the name whore. Sex should be a very personal and intimate experience. Everybody you have sex with leaves a part of themselves behind. Hollywood needs to stop promoting promiscuity. It is definitely not the way to be, single.
Should, single ladies, have rules like Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule? In the movie “Think Like a Man” one, single, woman decided that her cookie did not come out of the cookie jar until after 90 days. So, she told her date this number and he was game to wait it out because now her cookie was something he wanted. Something interesting happened along the way. He started to like her and called her his girlfriend.
That was exactly why, Steve Harvey, gave this advice. The longer you wait to have sex, the man has time to get to know you as a girlfriend. I interviewed a relationship coach on the show the episode was called “What do men want” he says that as soon as you sleep with a man his emotional connection stops growing. So, the longer you keep sex off the table, the more his feelings for you grows.
Some, single ladies, subscribe to the theory that sex before marriage ruins a marriage. We can always find the extremes. The trick to being, single, is to find out what works for you. If you want the, girlfriend experience, I suggest you get to know the man before you introduce sex in the relationship.
Enjoy your own company by learning how to be alone without being lonely.
Getting to know yourself, your real likes and dislikes, what makes you happy. When there is no one around to please, you please yourself, you do more self-care. You go to the gym, not to meet men, but to improve yourself.
Prepare yourself so you will be ready when your soul mate shows up.
You are in the meantime space.
Tune in next week as we talk about what to do while you are waiting for love.
Conclusion
This is life coach Myrna Young, and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. Thanks for listening. Until next time Namaste
Are you aware of your, emotional home? It is what you, focus, on when the going gets tough, determines your, actions. Your, emotional home, is the emotion you return to when life events happen, good or bad. For example, have you ever been fired? What did you, focus, on?
What was your, emotional response? Did you, focus, on fear that you will be homeless? Was it hope that you will find a better job, or did you, focus, on gratitude, that now you can do what you really love. Science shows that our, emotions, have a home and we always go home.
Tony Robbins, tells the story often about one Thanksgiving when he was 11 years old, his step father had just lost his job and they were eating saltine crackers and butter for dinner when there was a knock at the door and a man was there with a basket of food and a Turkey.
His father was not grateful for the food. He told the man at the door. We don’t accept charity and tried to shut the door in the man’s face. The man put his foot in the door and responded it was not charity and he was just the delivery man.
His father took the food without saying thanks and slammed the door in the man’s face.
We’re you bullied in school because you wore hand me downs and your shoes had holes in them?
Did your parents favor your siblings?
In every one of those scenarios, you focused on the situation.
You probably give it the meaning that you were worthless or unlovable.
What, actions, did you take?
Did you become sexually promiscuous?
Did you sleep with boys or men to get money to buy stuff?
Did you hate your parents or siblings?
The, emotions, that came from the meaning affect our, actions, and are the, emotions, you return to when you are hurt.
Let me help you change the narrative – you have to deliberately draw a line in the sand and change it. It takes work to, rewrite your story.
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STEPS TO REWRITE YOUR STORY
Examine your habits Instead of focusing on what you want to change, turn your attention to the bad habit or habits that lead to you wanting to learn how to change yourself. Are your sugar cravings at 10 PM what lead to you being overweight? Is your habit of sleeping in and arriving at work late getting in the way of your promotion? Once you’ve identified the, negative habits, you can create better ones that will help you, rewrite your story, such as utilizing delayed gratification.
Practice every day Once you know what your new, healthy habits, are, practice them every single day – no matter what. Have a backup plan in case circumstances get in the way of your new habits and don’t allow yourself to cut corners.
Focus on self-reflection One of the habits that lead you to wanting to learn how to change your life around was not facing reality. You need to, focus, on realistic self-reflection throughout your journey and, when needed, ask those you trust for their perspective. Are you improving? If not, what else needs to change?
Surround yourself with good people When you spend quality time with good people who love you, you develop a natural support system for your new habits and you are able to, rewrite your story, in a nurturing environment.
Keep taking risks If you want to learn how to change your life, you cannot stay in your comfort zone. You need to take risks until you get comfortable with those risks – then take more. The more you push yourself, the easier it will become to rewrite your story and transform your life.
Conclusion
Can you use your story to help others?
If you take control of your mind and, focus, on making better decisions, sometimes the worst experiences in life turn out to be your best teachers and your, testimony.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of, 5 min Fridays, I hope you were inspired to become aware of your emotional home and if is not a positive emotion, change it. Until next time Namaste
Fear, can keep you on the sidelines. Sometimes you have to tell, fear, you are not welcome here and just, jump in. Sometimes it is a life-or-death situation like drowning, other times it is jumping in that job you are not sure of, jumping in the marriage even though you have doubts, jumping into taking that night class even though you don’t know how you will juggle child care and a full-time job.
First Corinthians 2:9 says, “However, as it is written:‘What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived’ — the things God has prepared for those who love him.” But in order to experience what He has prepared for us, we have to, jump in.
When I was a young mother, my greatest, fear, was what would I do if my kids were drowning. Would I, jump in, to save them even though I didn’t know how to swim?
I quieted that, fear, by taking a swimming class at the YWCA and also making sure that my children learned to swim. Both my children are strong swimmers and can swim in the ocean. My skills are limited to the pool.
But I recently heard a story that made my blood run cold. At a church picnic by the river a young boy accidentally stepped into the deep end and went under water. Six other boys, jumped in, to save him. All six of them drowned; they never came back up. All six of them had parents watching who never, jumped in, to save them, because they didn’t know how to swim. So, I am asking you this question. If you don’t how to swim would you, jump in, to save your child?
So many times, we are faced with this decision in life should I, jump in, and trust God to take my hand and bring me out? Or do I let, fear, keep me on the side lines? Sometimes it is a life-or-death situation like drowning, other times it is jumping in that job you are not sure of, jumping in, the marriage even though you have doubts, jumping into taking that night class even though you don’t know how you will juggle child care and a full-time job.
How many women did not accept that marriage proposal in their 20s because you were afraid to, jump in, and today you are alone because you never got another proposal? If you had, jumped in, God may have taken your hand and allowed you to navigate the rough waters. My husband proposed to me after 11 months and I decided to, jump in, and quiet the negative thoughts that told me you should date for 2 years before getting married because people show their true colors after 2 years. This month is out 16-year wedding anniversary. God has held my hand through the rough times.
Moses, Jeremiah and Gideon jumped in the deep end of God’s will, and God did amazing works through each of them.
Jump in and tell the Devil to get behind you
Look the Devil in the eye and tell him get behind me Satan, not today. You are not keeping me on the sidelines rooted in fear. I am jumping in.
Allowing the, fear, of “what if” to mess with our mind and rule our heart will smother your confidence and courage with an avalanche of doubt.
Fear, has no choice but to leave the premises when we stand on God’s promises and say, “You are not welcome here.” I am, jumping in, and trusting God.
Tell the Devil “You can’t have my peace; you can’t have my family”
If you are fearful, jump in.
If you get in the water this is where healing takes place. If you get in the water God will show up.
You have to learn how to hold on to something that is broken until you get to the next level.
Stay afloat by just kicking your feet. Refuse to go down, just keep kicking.
Refuse to do the backstroke. You are never going back to feeling like that. You are never going back to loneliness. Don’t be afraid of the water. God has not given you a, spirit of fear.
Kanye West’s mother Donda built up her son’s, self confidence, by speaking life into him. She told him “If you are a giant, you can’t see yourself when you look in the mirror”
In this episode of, 5 min Fridays with Coach Myrna, I want to teach on, self-confidence, and use the Netflix documentary of, Kanye West, as the background story.
Kanye West, grew up poor in Chicago and started rapping at a young age. He started producing beats in his teens and created beats for legends like Jayz and others. But his vision was to be a rapper and nobody would give him a record deal as a rapper, because he was labeled a producer. His mother Donda kept speaking to his, confidence, she kept building him up by telling him he was great.
She told him “If you are a giant, you can’t see yourself when you look in the mirror”
That was a powerful statement and Kanye used that as his fuel to keep pushing and he finally got that record deal with Roc-A-Fella records, but he still had to push to get his first album released. The album was an immediate hit topping the charts at #1 and he was nominated for 10 Grammys. Kanye West, is now on his way to becoming the richest black man in America.
Kanye West mother spoke life into him by calling him a giant
Kanye’s, confidence, was stroked by his mother. She told him he was a genius and a, giant, and he started walking and talking like a, giant. It all started with his mother Donda watering his dreams and building his, confidence, until according to, Kanye, his brain became too big for his head. That was his explanation for his battle with, mental illness.
Let’s look at that statement a, giant, looks in the, mirror, and sees nothing.
Self-confidence, is looking at yourself and knowing that you are crushing it. Whatever it is but if you lack, self-confidence, when you look in the, mirror, you see nothing; there is no reflection of beauty. You see failure, you see your flaws, you see not enough. What, Kanye West Donda, was saying to, Kanye, was that he was so great that he couldn’t comprehend it and so couldn’t see it when he looked in the, mirror.
That is the most powerful builder of, self-confidence, I had ever heard because from then on whenever, Kanye, doubted himself, he would remember his mother’s words that he just couldn’t see his greatness because he was bigger than even the, mirror.
We are all giants and limitless
We can all be, giants, because we are limitless. We can become anything we want, but what holds us back is feeling small when we look in the, mirror. The people of Israel saw themselves as, grasshoppers, they saw themselves small and insignificant. Remember, Kanye West Donda, words a, giant, looks in the, mirror, and sees nothing, so keep pushing until the, mirror, catches up to your vision.
Parents remember to speak into your children’s lives. Richard Williams spoke into Venus Williams and Serena Williams lives. He told them that they will become the best in game of tennis. He told them that they are future champions and they would win Wimbledon and they believed and came into agreement. Serena Williams did become the greatest in the game of tennis.
I speak into my children’s lives all the time. Sometimes they come into agreement and sometimes they feel that because I am mom, that I should say these things. Don’t worry if they don’t look like they are accepting your vision. Remember the movie Inception. All you are doing is planting seeds, when the time comes, that seed will become a forest.
So, keep speaking life into your children, into your spouse, into yourself. Tell yourself that when a, giant, looks in the, mirror, he sees nothing so if you don’t see anything it is because you are a, giant! Everyone sees the, giant, except you.
Conclusion
This is life coach Myrna Young and you are listening to, 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach for daily inspiration. Until next time Namaste
You have all heard of the expression “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It is a proverbial phrase that is used to encourage people to stay optimistic and to keep fighting in the face of adversity or misfortune. Lemons, suggests sourness and difficulty in life; making, lemonade, with, lemons, that is being handed out to you turns the whole sour episode into something sweet, positive, and desirable.
Here is a story to illustrate How to Make lemonade out of lemons
When the British colonized India, they built a golf course in Calcutta, and they had a problem with the, monkeys. The, monkeys, would pick up the balls the golfers hit and put it somewhere else.
They tried to solve the problem by building a fence around the course, but, monkeys, climb, so that didn’t work.
They tried to lure the, monkeys, away with bananas, but then some were lured away, and others weren’t. Plus, all the, monkeys, for miles around would show up to feed on their favorite food, so that didn’t work either.
Finally, they changed the rules and had the golfers play the ball from wherever the, monkeys, dropped it. If life gives you lemons, make other plans.
This is a strange story to depict the mantra “if life gives you lemons, make, lemonade, or other plans.” We don’t always get sugar and spice and everything that is nice, most of the time, things don’t work out the way we planned.
One of my favorite shows was Private Practice. Addison made a statement on the show that says
“We make plans but God, make other plans, he has the last word”
Your desire to have a baby could be so strong that you pray every day, you dream of your child every day, you think of your life with your baby every day, but it’s been 5 years and you are not pregnant. The doctors say you are infertile. Time to play the ball where the, monkeys, dropped it and make, lemonade, out of your, lemons. Make other plans, adopt a child, foster a child, look for a surrogate mother or start fertility treatments.
Another way to use the proverb, if life give you lemons, make, lemonade, is to practice the, law of detachment. This law states that in order to manifest our desires, we must release attachment to the outcome itself as well as the path we might take to get there, that you should only be attached to your end goal not the journey.
You can put the law of detachment to work with these steps:
1. Today I will commit myself to, detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are. I will not rigidly impose my idea of how things should be. I will not force solutions on problems, thereby creating new problems. I will participate in everything with detached involvement.
2. Today I will factor in uncertainty as an essential ingredient of my experience. In my willingness to accept uncertainty, solutions will spontaneously emerge out of the problem, out of the confusion, disorder, and chaos. I will understand that, if life gives me lemons, I will make other plans. The more uncertain things seem to be, the more secure I will feel, because uncertainty is my path to freedom. Through the wisdom of uncertainty, I will find my security.
3. I will step into the field of all possibilities and anticipate the excitement that can occur when I remain open to an infinity of choices. When I step into the field of all possibilities, I will experience all the fun, adventure, magic, and mystery of life.
If life gives you lemons remember the goal is the destination
If your goal is to retire and travel the world, that is your, destination goal. The journey could take you around that golf course several times back and forth, sometimes you would be stuck in the sand box, sometimes you will hit the ball in the lake, but if you keep playing you will eventually get to the 18th hole. Use this analogy for your life, just keep playing the, game of life. Don’t be attached to the journey just the, destination goal. If life gives you lemons, make other plans.
The target affects the arrow! Keep the target in your vision and the arrow will find it.
Forrest Gump said it best, life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you are going to get so, if life gives you lemons, make other plans.
This is coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna.
In this episode of 5 Min Fridays with Coach Myrna, we look at the, Bible story, of, Joseph, to see how God uses, coincidence, to get us to our, purpose and destiny. I show that there are, no coincidences in life, that every moment has been, preordained.
So, if you have been feeling unlucky because you had, coincidence, show up in your life that did not feel good, I want you to know that every event has a, purpose, and that is to take you to your, preordained destiny.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Bible Story Of Joseph and destiny
I want to use the, bible story, of, Joseph, the son of Jacob to show how God uses, coincidence. Joseph, was born with a purpose, prearranged by God. It was determined in his mother’s womb or before.
Because he was born to his father in his old age, his father Jacob loved him more than his 10 other brothers. That created jealousy. His brothers hated him because he was his father’s favorite. When Jacob made, Joseph, a beautiful robe of many colors, his brothers became even more jealous of him. Then Joseph, started dreaming about his brothers bowing down to him and he decided to share his, dreams.
Bad move, never share your, dreams, of success with others even family members because they will secretly hate you and want you dead. They may not try to kill you as Joseph’s brothers wanted to do, but maybe they would wish evil on you.
The good news is whatever God ordains no man can change.
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Potiphar’s wife has the hots for, Joseph, but when he wouldn’t sleep with her, she seeks revenge by accusing him of trying to rape her and so Joseph is thrown into prison. The same prison that the Pharaoh sends prisoners from the palace.
Later Pharaoh throws his cup bearer and his baker in prison and who oversees them, Joseph!
Then God gives them both, dreams, and tells, Joseph, the interpretation of their, dreams. It so happens that in 3 days both, dreams, come through according to, Joseph’s interpretation. The cup bearer is returned to his role in the palace and the baker was killed.
A full 2 years later the Pharaoh had 2, dreams, that he needed interpreting and that is when the cup bearer remembered, Joseph, the Hebrew slave who interpreted his, dreams, in prison.
Pharaoh sends for, Joseph, who interprets his, dreams. Joseph, tells Pharaoh that the, dreams, meant God is notifying him there will be 7 bountiful years followed by 7 Years of severe famine.
Pharaoh then makes, Joseph, administrative head of Egypt second only to himself. Everyone needed to bow down to him.
God’s, purpose, for, Joseph, was to be the instrument that would save the Egyptians from all dying in the famine that was, preordained, before, Joseph, was born. The famine would have also have wiped out all of Abraham’s defendants as well and that would have made God’s promise to Abraham, that his defendants would be as numerous as the stars in the sky to be void, and how many of you know that God is not man, he does not lie. He used, coincidence, to move, Joseph, in position to realize his preordained, destiny.
Coincidence is to get you to your destiny
I wanted to share this story with you today to illustrate that you were born with a, purpose, and there are no, coincidence, in life. Every moment is, preordained. Think of all the, coincidences, God had to orchestrate for, Joseph, to fulfill his, purpose and destiny. Most of them not in, Joseph, favor.
My life has been the same. There were several, coincidences, that got me to my, purpose and destiny. If I was to pick up my story from the time I arrived in Canada from Guyana.
I met this girl working in a factory making zippers. She took me with her to look for a better job. That, coincidence, got me a job at Scotia Bank and she did not find work. While I was at Scotia Bank, I met my second husband who was 12 years older than me and schooled me in life and suggested I go back to college.
After college I started selling computers. the, coincidence, of how I met Tony Robbins. Tony came to town and sent free tickets to my company for his “unleash the power within” conference. Tony Robbins inspired me to unleash my power within and I became the top female limousine operator in Toronto Canada.
This, coincidence, brought me to Miami Florida. Miami was my Egypt, it is where I needed to be to fulfil my, purpose. I will stop here, but you get the picture. There are, no coincidences in life, every step in your journey is, preordained, and is God’s plan, even the steps you take backwards.
Conclusion coincidence
So, if you feel you have been lucky or if you feel that you are unlucky, I want you to know that every, coincidence, has a, purpose, and that is to take you to your, preordained destiny.
This is life coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 mins with coach Myrna. I want to invite you to join my private Facebook group called Lifecoach. Hope to see you next week. Namaste
The bible story of Abraham and Sarah illustrates that whatever, purpose, God has for you, if you are, chosen, you can’t mess up your, destiny. God will fight for you.
This is Life Coach Myrna Young and today I want to encourage you and give you hope that regardless of what is presenting in your life at the moment, you can’t mess up your, purpose and destiny.
I Want to use the, bible story, of, Abraham, and his wife, Sarah, as the foundation for this revelation that if God Choses you, you can’t mess up your, destiny.
God said to, Abraham, “Regarding your wife Sarai, her name will no longer be Sarai from now on her name will be, Sarah, and I will bless her and give you a son from her! Yes, I will bless her richly, and she will become the mother of many nations. Kings of nations will be among her descendants.”
Sarah, was chosen like Mary was chosen as the mother of Jesus.
God then told, Abraham, to leave his father’s house and move to a foreign land, so Abraham moved around and lived as a foreigner in many places. While living in these places he introduced his wife, Sarah, as his sister because he did not want the men to kill him to get his wife.
Apparently, Sarah, at 90 years old was still beautiful and desirable. Don’t we all wish, men would be fighting for us when we are 90 years old!
Abraham, was right because King Abimelech of Gerar sent for, Sarah, and had her brought to him in his palace with the intention of making her his wife.
But God stepped in! No one messes with God’s chosen vessel. God couldn’t have King Abimelech defile, Sarah, because then she would not be fit to be the mother of nations.
He appeared to Abimelech in a dream and told him “You are a dead man, for that woman you have taken is already married”
Abimelech responded that he was innocent, Abraham, told him she was his sister.
God replied “that is why I kept you from sinning against me, and why I did not let you touch her.”
The lord also released a curse on all the women of Gerar causing them to be infertile, because Abimelech had taken his chosen vessel, Sarah, to be his wife. Don’t mess with God’s chosen vessel, he will fight for you.
Abraham had to pray for them to be healed after, Sarah, was returned.
One year later Sarah became pregnant and named her son Isaac. She fulfilled her, purpose and destiny, by becoming the mother of many nations and God kept his covenant promise he made to, Abraham.
This story illustrates that whatever, purpose, God has for you, if you are, chosen, you can’t mess it up. God will fight for you.
You could make boneheaded decisions, like go back to an, unhealthy relationship, because better is not showing up. God will find a way to get you out, because he has a, purpose, for your life.
You could give up on your child because they have gone down the wrong path, but God can reach them in a dream and inspire them to fulfil the, purpose, he has for their life.
So, if you have taken the wrong turn in life, if you came to a fork in the road and you chose the wrong exit, just know that God will get you back on the right path, because he promised:
I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”
So be encouraged, you can’t mess this up.
Thanks for tuning into 5 min Fridays with Coach Myrna. Until next time Namaste .
