Setting goals, in, clock time, means we are not emotionally attached to them. We are able to enjoy the journey and not just the destination. But when you, set goals, in, psychological time, you are never fulfilled when you achieve them. You have heard of people who, set goals, and when they attain these goals, they are only happy for a brief moment and then they are unfulfilled again. That is because they are psychologically attached to the goal. The subconscious mind is telling them that until this goal is achieved, happiness is not possible. Or until this goal is achieved, they are not successful.
Let’s say owning a house on the beach is your symbol of success and you tell yourself that until you live on the beach in a beautiful mansion, you cannot feel fulfilled or feel successful. This means that you are not going to enjoy the journey. You are psychologically tied to living on the beach as your means to the end.
Or let’s take the goal of being married. Most women have this goal.
Marriage could be a symbol of acceptance that you are enough, because someone says you complete them, or they can’t live without you etc. Marriage could symbolize the success you dreamed of as a little girl.
But what happens when you achieve this goal? Does it create lasting happiness? The divorce rate is 50% or higher. Nothing wrong with that goal but do you stop living until you get married. Are you enjoying all the perks of being single?
Does achieving any goal fulfill you forever? You know the answer to the question.
That is because goals set using, psychological time, says that until this event happens, you will not be happy or successful or fulfilled. When you achieve these goals, you are happy for a few days and then you are not.
Goals set with, psychological time, never fulfills because the goal post is always moving.
It is okay to set goals, but you must enjoy the present moment.
You must enjoy where you are now.
If you ask yourself what is lacking now, the answer should always be nothing.
Goal setting, in, clock time, says If success comes, I will accept it, but if it doesn’t, I am okay with that too.
That is why we can’t tell ourselves that until something happens in life then we will be happy, fulfilled, complete etc. because not only can you die waiting for this goal to manifest, but if you achieve this goal, you will still not be complete or happy. Why because you have to take care of the inside before things on the outside.
When you take care of your inside, joy is always your partner. You are happy with or without. You are happy for the breath of life. If you add success to this you will find fulfillment.
For the soul, spirituality, is how it chooses to evolve through physical life. While we are incarnate, pursuing our, dreams, we can follow the path to, fulfillment. We are both the source and the recipients of the gifts of the Universe and God.
Spirituality, and awakening is natural. The process is similar to waking up in the
morning and opening your eyes to the light. Your light is personal to you
expressing your inner vision.
Dreams, come true by merging your inner and outer life. We all have wishes and, dreams, to fulfill. For, spiritually, to be valid, it must be useful in bringing, fulfillment.
There are seven levels of, fulfillment. When you are fully connected to the light of being, which is the light of the self, your light shines beyond all things on earth, beyond the highest heavens. This is the light that shines within you!
1: The level of Pure Potential – We are in our essential state pure, consciousness. Pure, consciousness, is pure, potential energy. It is the field of all possibilities and infinite creativity. When you discover your essential nature and know who you really are, in that knowing itself is the ability to fulfill any, dreams, you have; because you are the eternal possibility, the immeasurable, potential energy, of all that was, is and will be! One way to access these, spirituality gifts, is through the daily practice of silence, meditation and Life Coaching.
2: Fulfillment, from Giving – Your body, mind and the Universe are in constant and dynamic change. Stopping the circulation of, potential energy, is like stopping the flow of blood. Whenever blood stops flowing, it begins to clot, to stagnate. That is why you must give and receive in order to keep wealth, affluence, love, respect …or anything you want…Circulating in your life.
I practice not only giving to God, but, giving to the homeless, and everyone I meet. It could be a smile, a compliment or a prayer. The most powerful forms of giving and, spirituality, are the non-material. The gifts of caring, attention, affection, appreciation and love are some of the most precious gifts you can give or receive for, fulfillment.
3: Fulfillment, from Sowing and Reaping – Everyone has heard the expression “whatever you sow, you shall reap”. It is obvious that if we want to create happiness in our lives, we must learn, sowing and reaping. Sowing the seeds that will grow Happiness. Therefore, we must life consciously, making good choices because, the law of sowing and reaping, is finite.
Whether you like it or not, everything that is happening to you at this moment is a direct result of the choices you’ve made in the past, sowing and reaping. You cannot alter the past, but you can make the choice to design your future. Start now with the help of a Spiritual Life Coach. The more you bring your choices into the level of your, consciousness, and awareness, the more you will make those choices which are spontaneously correct for both you and those around you.
When you seek money and power for the sake of the ego, you spend energy chasing the illusion of happiness from material things, instead of enjoying the happiness of the moment. On the other hand, when your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and accumulates and the surplus can be channeled to create anything you want; including unlimited wealth and optimal levels of, spirituality.
5: Fulfillment, from The Desires of your Heart –
The whole Universe, in its essential mature, is the movement of energy and information. You can consistently change the energy and information of your own Quantum mechanical body and therefore influence the energy and informational content of your extended body…your environment, your world… and cause things to happen.
In other words “You become what you think about, most of the time”. The quality of your intention on the object of your attention will orchestrate an infinity of space-time events to bring about the outcome intended. So, never, never give up on your dreams.
6: Fulfillment, from Detachment –
Detachment, does not mean you give up the intention to create your desire. Instead, you give up your attachment to the result. The moment you relinquish your attachment to the result and just believe that it will be yours; you will have that which you desire. Detachment, is based on the unquestioning belief in the power of God.
Detachment, is also synonymous with wealth, consciousness, because with, detachment, there is freedom to create. True wealth, consciousness, is the ability to have anything you want, anytime you want and with little effort. Start creating your wealth. Call for a free consultation
7: Fulfillment, from being on Purpose –
We have taken manifestation in physical form to fulfill a purpose. There is something that you can do better than anyone else in this whole world. There are also unique needs. When these needs are matched with creative expression of talent, there is a spark that creates affluence.
Expressing your talents to fulfill needs creates unlimited wealth and abundance. It is said that “who you seek, is seeking you” my talent is to HELP you in discovering your purpose and fulfilling your destiny by creating awareness, discovering your essential nature, making conscious choices and co-creating for you and your loved ones.
Many researchers have demonstrated that, spirituality, plays a significant role in the lives of people, their thoughts, and behaviors. The effect of, spirituality, on mental health has been reviewed. In order to make further advances in the field it is becoming increasingly important to
(a) acknowledge the differences between the different religions;
(b) develop context-specific definitions of, spirituality, namely define, spirituality, in the context of a particular faith; and (c) construct the studies that will evaluate, spirituality, according to the context-specific measures. This approach will enable us to carry out comprehensive studies of analytical and comparative nature, and generate groundbreaking results in this research field.
The, happiness recipe, is super simple. Do more of what matters to you, and less of the rest.
Simple, though obviously doesn’t mean easy. There’s a lot that goes into that very short phrase and into the execution of that very short phrase. Becky Morrison is a mom, wife and lawyer turned, Happiness Coach has identified what she thinks are the three areas that stop us from executing on this, happiness recipe.
Becky Morrison is a mom, wife and lawyer turned, Happiness Coach. Her mission is to spread joy. She believes most people can live happier, easier lives if they get clear on what matters most to them and then develop a plan to do more of that and less of the rest. She wants to enable people to find clarity and happiness, so everyone wins.
Now she’s using her experience coupled with her own journey to help people supercharge their success and happiness by: finding clarity; taking the next steps in their career; overcoming overwhelm; going from idea to action; and, stepping into their authentic leadership presence.
Myrna: Your story of coming from corporate lawyer to, happiness coach, reminds me of the first book I read in my quest for enlightenment and, personal growth. And that is the book called from Robin Sharma that’s called “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.”
So, for those who didn’t know Robin Sharma, the character in the book is a corporate lawyer who had a heart attack. And then he went to live with amongst the monks in the Himalayan mountains and he changed his life. So, how did it happen for you?
Becky: Well, I mean, it was not quite that glamorous or fun for me, but it is a story of evolution and, transformation. And it starts with me doing what a lot of us do, which is doing all the things I thought I was supposed to do.
Going to the good school,
getting the good grades,
getting the job,
going back to graduate school to become an attorney,
then getting the job at the big law firm with the big paycheck to be on the partnership track.
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Then one night 16 years later, I found myself sitting on the floor of the bathroom, with a toddler in the tub, and the cordless phone clip to the back of my pants, and the toilet seat cover down with a notebook on it and papers spread all around me. And I was doing two things at the same time. I was bathing my toddler daughter and trying to prepare an expert witness for their upcoming deposition.
I had two thoughts in super quick succession. The first thought was, who says you can’t do it all? Look at me. I’m a mom, I’m a lawyer. I’m here. I’m killing it. This is amazing. That was quickly followed by and I’m exhausted. Is this unsustainable? And perhaps more importantly, and more scarily, I’m not sure this is making me happy.
And that kicked off my own quest for, transformation, and, personal growth. I had to figure out, well, okay, what does it mean, if I’ve done all of the things that I was supposed to do? And I checked all the boxes? And I’m not happy?
What the heck does, happiness, come from then? If it’s not from success? If it’s not from the results?
You talked about, happiness, is working towards a purpose or a goal.
What am I working towards here?
Why am I here In this season of my life?
What is my top priority?
What is the most important thing?
I panicked. And I started to think about what can I do? And the reality is, I can do a lot of things. I’m a lawyer, with a ton of management experience, a whole bunch of process experience. I’ve been a CEO, I mean, the list of jobs that I could apply for is pretty long. And thankfully, I had some voices in my life who said, timeout?
This is an opportunity, what do you want to do? Not what can you do, but what do you want to do? And that’s how I landed in this business of helping other people chart their success and, happiness.
The Definition of happiness
Myrna: That’s a good story. I love your evolution. One of the things I will add is when you’re in a tub bathing your child and doing work, you’re not giving her the attention she deserves.
Becky: So true, I wasn’t fully focused on one or the other. I had split focus and split focus is not efficient, effective or meaningful.
Myrna: So right. Yes, that’s what mothers do. You know, they have one of the hips and they’re doing it all. So, that moment was the start of your, your evolution, your, transformation. You asked yourself the question Is this making me happy? I’m working towards a goal. I’m working towards partnership, you’re immediately disrupting my, definition of happiness.
My, definition of happiness, is working steadily towards a goal or purpose
I guess the other part of that is, fulfillment. And somehow your work wasn’t hitting the, fulfillment, button inside.
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How do we identify the essential sources of happiness?
Becky: How do we find our essential, sources of happiness? I have a little exercise that I like to do with people that might seem silly or small, but it’s not. And it’s about developing a menu of things that you can do, that are easy and accessible, that you know, are going to create a positive emotional experience for you.
We can use Oprah’s, sources of happiness, sitting in the bathtub. We need to do to get down to the essential, sources of our joy, or have those positive emotional experiences is to ask a few more questions. Get down to the simple things that you can do to add, happiness, into your daily life.
When I’m sitting with a client is ask them to brainstorm a list of five to seven things that are their, sources of happiness. I ask them not to judge because on my list, one of my, sources of happiness, is clean sheets!
Then taking one on that list and asking yourself, what about that makes me happy? So, take the Oprah example. What about being in the bathtub that brings you, happiness?
Is it the solitude?
Is it the warmth of my water?
Is it the time with my thoughts?
There’s something more than just the bathtub that brings you, happiness.
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Invite your nervous system to become a partner in your happiness?
Becky: Happiness, makes you feel good or, or when you’re doing the things that make you happy in that moment, right? You feel good, and it helps with your health, and it helps with resilience and all that. But your nervous system is a little different.
A lot of times more, happiness, for us lives on the other side of some sort of change. Whether it’s change in behavior, change in circumstance, change in mindset. And at the most basic level, one of the important jobs that our nervous system plays is to keep us safe, literally, to keep us alive. That’s where the, fight or flight, response, comes from.
Often when we’re trying to make a change, it can feel uncomfortable and unpleasant, because it is our, nervous system, is saying, no, no, no, please don’t. I know how to keep you safe; this new activity is not safe. I have no data on it. So, often we mistake that discomfort as a sign that we shouldn’t do it.
Myrna: That’s true that our brain’s function is to warn us about impending danger and to keep us safe. Which is why One of the first things I learned myself on my journey of self-improvement is you got to get out your, comfort zone, because whenever you sit In your comfort zone you’re not moving, and you’re not growing.
Becky: Sometimes I worry that when I say the, happiness recipe, people are going to be like, That’s it? But here’s the deal. And you’ve sort of set it in your definition. But the recipe for maximum, happiness, is super simple.
Do more of what matters to you, and less of the rest.
Simple, though, obviously, doesn’t mean easy. There’s a lot that goes into that very short phrase and into it’s execution. I’ve identified what I think are the three areas of the, happiness recipe. Three areas where there can be gaps that stop us from executing on the, happiness recipe.
And the first is what I call the, authenticity gap. Do we know what matters most to us? And are we willing to claim it publicly? Because to live it, you must be willing to speak it. You must be willing to share it. Be willing to have other people see it.
Then there’s the middle gap of the, happiness recipe. I call that the, emotional energy gap, or the, mindset gap, that’s all the beliefs and feelings that get in the way of us executing on that knowledge of what makes us happy.
We know what matters most to us, we know the goal or purpose that we want to be working towards; but do we have the, mindset, and belief that will allow us to make that happen?
3. The third gap in the, happiness recipe, is the, physical energy gap, which is really the execution piece. Do you align your time energy and resources with what matters most to you? I call it priority aligned living.
You told us about your book the , happiness recipe, we all know we can pick up a copy on Amazon, but give us your website and maybe a couple of your social media handles or so that people can connect with you.
Becky: My website which is www.untanglehappiness.com. And on there you can find all the social media links to connect with me on social media. You can also find a link to my book The Happiness recipe and you can learn about the work that I do.
Myrna: It’s been an incredible conversation. We talked about, happiness, the big takeaway from this conversation is our, sources of happiness. If you were to ask someone Are they happy? They’re probably going to be talking about, is my life good? Is my husband good to me? Am I making enough money? Am I living my dream life?
They’re going to think of the big things that cause, happiness.
I found that, definition of happiness, is working towards a goal or purpose. Happiness, comes from taking those steps towards it. That is what makes you happy, when you’re moving towards something. When you feel stuck, or you think you’re going backwards, is when you’re unhappy. So, it’s the same thing, finding moments to bring you joy, understand your, sources of happiness, can be as simple as clean sheets, or taking a bath, everybody can do that. Everybody can find, happiness, sitting inside a tub, you don’t have to have waterfalls!
You can find, happiness, by taking a walk. Happiness, for me is walking in a park, you can find a park with trees everywhere. Find your, source of happiness, if could be a good book, it could be clean sheets, it could be taking a bath, whatever is your, source of happiness, start there and then you pick a goal or a purpose and you take little baby steps towards it.
Once you are moving in the right direction, you are going to be happy. So, thank you, Becky, for that simple, happiness recipe. It is a very simple recipe. Head over to Becky’s website, connect with her on social media and pick up a copy of her book.
