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How to Manage Compulsive Behaviors

Millions of people suffer from at least one of the, compulsive behaviors, Compulsive shopping, Compulsive eating, Hoarding, Compulsive sexual behavior.

—often, even when the individual wishes they could stop—despite the fact that the act triggers negative outcomes, leads to interpersonal conflicts, or damages mental health.

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Introduction to Compulsive Behaviors

Common activities that can develop into compulsions include, compulsive  shopping, hoarding, eating, gambling, sex, and exercise. Though some behaviors are easier to over-indulge in than others, in reality, nearly any behavior has the potential of becoming a, compulsive behavior. Some people even talk compulsively, for instance.

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There are also obsessive compulsive disorder, in which a compulsive person performs certain behaviors to relieve underlying anxiety or other negative emotions. A well-known example is a person who checks and rechecks everything—if the stove is turned off, for instance, or if the door is locked.

These behaviors rarely decrease anxiety in the long run; in most cases, they only provide temporary relief. In extreme cases, compulsive behaviors start to take over the person’s work, home, and social life, at the expense of normal activities.

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How are Compulsive Behaviors and addictions connected?

Compulsive behaviors, have a genetic effect and are often seen in identical twins. I know 17 year old identical twin girls who came into the foster care system at 4 years old and have had trauma. I attributed their, compulsive behaviors, to genes from their biological parents and environment from their early years in foster care. They started, compulsive behaviors, like stealing  from about 5 years old, as they grew older that transformed into, compulsive shoplifting, then they started running away and couldn’t stop, now they are compulsively, hoarding.

Compulsion behaviors,  often arise after stressful events, trauma, or abuse as we have seen in our study of addictions. When people engage in, compulsive behaviors, they become trapped in a pattern of repetitive actions or senseless thinking from which it can be difficult to break free.

Treatment is often key for overcoming, compulsive behaviors.

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How does normal behavior turn into,  Compulsive Behaviors?

As far as the brain is concerned our rewards are reward important,  so regardless of whether it comes from a chemical or an experience and you know that there’s a
reward and people who indulge in , compulsive behaviors,  like gambling,  eating,  sex, and shopping,  become trapped in the reward system of dopamine.

Types of Compulsive Behaviors

Compulsive behaviors, come in many forms, all of which can be quite debilitating or even dangerous.

Hoarding, for instance, are those who are unable to part with even the most worthless possessions. Many hoarders find the act of purging so distressful that they live under extremely crowded and potentially harmful conditions.

  • Compulsive shopping,
  • Compulsive eating
  • Over exercising
  • Hoarding
  • Compulsive cleaning

Compulsive Hoarding,   is a psychiatric disorder which involves the accumulation of personal possessions to the point at which these accumulations interfere with your quality of life to a significant degree. The acquisition of “things” and failure to throw away unneeded objects can result in only mild symptoms of a cluttered home to a home which is too unsanitary for healthy living. At the current time, it’s thought that between two and six percent of the population is living with some degree of hoarding disorder.

  • Compulsively taking selfies and posting on social media
  • Compulsive sexual behavior or sexual addiction

What negative triggers enable Compulsive Behaviors like Hoarding.

The brain tricks us into thinking that we need the reward so we perform the, compulsive behavior, to re up the Dopamine
I know that as humans we move towards pleasure and away from pain. In my role as parent with kids who have, compulsive behaviors. These behaviors are cemented because they engage the reward centers of the brain.

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How does one break that reward system for, Compulsive Behaviors?

Don’t wait until sexual temptation attacks you before you see it as a formidable force which seeks to destroy you. Its insidious tactic is designed to enslave you into sexual sins and keep you locked into erotic desires. How you perceive sexual temptation in your life, determines how well you will overcome its deceitful force, and walk in total victory.

“Naked and Ashamed, the Battle of Sexual Temptation.” is a Christian self-help book that explains what sexual temptation is, and gives you Biblical scriptures on how to control your sexual desires, and unnatural urges.  With chapters such as recognizing the tempter, and rejecting the flesh, you will study strategies on how to recognize situations that tempts you, and learn how to keep your flesh under subjection. Although we will all be tempted sexually at some time, we can learn from this book on how to refrain from overreacting and falling into sexual bondage. So put on your seatbelt and get ready to be free from all of your unwanted sexual desires and temptations.  Order “Naked and Ashamed, The Battle of Sexual Temptation” today! Written by Sheela Fields, now available on Amazon.

Sex Addiction Treatment

Let’s look at, compulsive sexual behavior, or sexual addiction. Sexual addiction, is represented by, compulsive behavior,  in commonly available sexual practices, such as

  • Attending strip clubs,
  • Compulsive masturbation,
  • Paying for sex through prostitution,
  • Excessive use of pornography,
  • and repeated engagement in extramarital affairs.

Compulsive sexual behavior, otherwise known as sexual addiction, is an emerging psychiatric disorder that has significant medical and psychiatric consequences. Until recently, very little empirical data existed to explain the biological, psychological, and social risk factors that contribute to this condition. In addition, clinical issues, such as the natural course and best practices on treating sexual addictions, have not been formalized. Despite this absence, the number of patients and communities requesting assistance with this problem remains significant. This article will review the clinical features of compulsive sexual behavior and will summarize the current evidence for psychological and pharmacological treatment.

Dr Ahia What forms of, Sex Addiction Treatment, would you administer to someone suffering from, compulsive sexual addiction?

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How would you treat a youth that had the compulsion for taking selfies or even shoplifting?

Additional Resources for, Compulsive Behaviors

https://myhelps.us/childhood-sexual-trauma-and-addiction/

https://myhelps.us/drug-alcohol-treatments-women-with-trauma/

https://myhelps.us/call-me-an-addict-child-abuse-statistics-p3/

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childabuseandneglect/acestudy/index.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Crucial Role of an Active Lifestyle Against COVID-19

Wildly Alive coach Nichole Wurth shares how having an, active lifestyle, could help you fight, coronavirus COVID 19, and become BFF’s with your body.

Journey to an Active lifestyle.

I was raised on Hamburger Helper and mac and cheese.  I didn’t know the basics of nourishing your body or a healthy lifestyle.  That  was not something that was taught to me, so I got out of high school and I gained some weight.  I did what most women do.  I started dieting. I wouldn’t say that I had a big-time body image issues or self-esteem issues going into that whole experience; but after every diet  I started to realize it took out a chunk of my self-esteem.

So after years of dieting if you would have looked at my body you would have thought damn she’s got it going on she’s so fit she’s so healthy. I want her body, I want her, active lifestyle.   But in all reality even though I looked like I was living a, healthy lifestyle,  I was an absolute mess inside.

I had disordered eating and disordered exercising and I was so lost in trying to have a, active lifestyle, I didn’t even see it I was I was obsessed with what I was going to eat and what I couldn’t eat. I was strategizing with every bite.  It was strategy all the time.  I was still deeply unhappy because before living this, healthy lifestyle,  I blamed all my unhappiness and the reason why I don’t have a boyfriend, the reason why I don’t have a fulfilling job, or the reason why I don’t have …fill in the blank, was because of my body.

 

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A Healthy Lifestyle begins with Diet

It’s very common for women to blame everything on their body,  so now that I had lost the weight and I look fit and healthy and living a, healthy lifestyle, I no longer had anything to blame for my unhappiness.  So again even though you would look at me and you think wow she’s an inspiration,  honestly I was lost from disordered eating and disordered exercising.  Most people they don’t even see it, and they’re broken.  That’s how diet culture works.  Diet culture intentionally breaks you, breaks your trust with yourself, so then you need a diet all the time.

That’s how I was for years.  I didn’t trust myself without the guidelines, without the rules and other restrictions.  I went through that whole journey. I lost the weight and I was worse than I was before I started that journey.

I start moving into like exploring okay how can I find happiness and freedom and a, healthy lifestyle, at the same time because dieting does not get you happiness and freedom.  It feels very caged.  That’s the philosophy of the wildly alive coaching program. I started coming up with this idea that your body is a living, breathing, feeling thing just like a plant.  So if I went into my office every day and looked at my plants and said to them, you’re ugly and you’re not good enough and you need to try harder.  I would have sent negative energy to them right they would rebel and not thrive.

The Ketogenic Diet is good for a healthy lifestyle

I think that’s where most women are.  They look at their body as just this thing that’s hanging on them, that’s never right and will never be right, and they’re constantly abusing it.  If you want to call it abuse or not, it really is, because you probably would never talk to your best friend that way or even your enemy.  That is when I started really looking into instead of creating change from a place of shame, which diet culture teaches, if you just hate your body enough then you can change it shifting that to respect base change.  learning how to respect our body as we are changing and reshaping it. The Ketogenic Diet is the new popular diet plan.

Food plays a very important part in our body image and women in particular, maybe even men. Men drink, women eat! I’m not sure, but a lot of times if you have emotional problems it shows up in what you eat.  And yeah when you go to the gym, and you have a really nice body, that’s on the outside. You could still feel shame inside.

A lot of women could identify with, you’re overweight and you buckled down and lost the weight, they are now living a, healthy lifestyle, they go to the gym every day, they eat right and embrace,  healthy living,  so where is the reward. Where is the boyfriend or husband?

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What is an Active Lifestyle?

I gained all  kinds of weight at the end of high school because I was in the industry and I was eating a lot of jalapeno, mayonnaise and French fries. It was like my favorite combination with  Big Mac.  The whole the whole world globally, we’re looking at the, coronavirus, and at, COVID-19, and everybody including all the health experts are now on talking about a, healthy lifestyle,  because what we’re all now acutely aware that if you have a healthy immune system then you can probably get over this, coronavirus, illness. My, active  lifestyle, programs started  before people became conscious of, healthy living.   A, healthy lifestyle, is  being wildly alive!

 I wanted to create something like a like a bridge between the, covid-19, pandemic and, healthy living.  I’m telling my clients right now is first and foremost and this is the basis of wildly alive coaching,  is your mind is the most powerful muscle in your body and so just like with dieting.

And the constant feeling of stress, you have to change from the inside.

 

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When I was dieting, I was constantly stressed, I was afraid of butter.  I was afraid of red meat and so on and so on. Even though according to my little calorie counting notebook, I was eating

all of the right things; because I was so stressed over the food, that I was unhealthy. Stressing about everything you put into your mouth is not a, healthy lifestyle.

What is the Feminine approach to a Healthy Lifestyle

This is a respect based approach to, healthy living. If I can help show you how awesome your body is, and how it’s doing so many things right now, in this moment, then what will start to happen is, you’ll start to recognize that your body is always talking to you.  She’s always speaking to you.  She can guide you on the best things to eat and the best ways to move and how to thrive in this whole self-care thing.  You don’t need a plan, you don’t need somebody telling you what to eat and how to exercise and what to do to feel happy, your body can tell you all of that.

We live in this Western society that just cuts you off at the head and makes you think that all your body is or something you manipulate, that’s all it is it’s just this mass, that has no voice or no wisdom.  So when you start opening up the lines of communication with your body, you start to listen to it. You start to feel really good.  It is just like when you get a cut you don’t have to look at the cut and be like okay white blood cells come do your thing. No the white blood cells are on it. They start forming a scab around the cut and the processes of healing begins.

Our bodies are so smart that we can’t even conceptualize and wrap our mind around all the brilliance of our body.  So if I can teach you some of that, and I can show you how awesome your body is and how she is here to guide you.  She’s here to guide yourself care and, healthy lifestyle, and  she’s also here to guide you on your life choices.

 

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The 28 day moon cycle

The feminine approach to an, active lifestyle, is really is a woman’s 28-day cycle if you’re menstruating.  As women we have a 28-day cycle and that 28-day cycle mirrors the moon.  There’s four phases within our 28-day cycle and also within the moon cycle.  Those four phases also mirror the four seasons of the planet. A, healthy lifestyle, includes following your cycle.

For example just to make this really simplified, when you’re bleeding it is the New Moon phase.

When we’re having our period we tend to be more hibernating, we’re not as extroverted.  This is our introverted time.  This is the time when we reflect and restore.  This is our winter time so if you’re ever confused you just look at the season the new moon. So when you’re bleeding doing a high intense workout it’s probably not the best thing for your body.  If you’re on hormonal birth control or you’re not having your period,  just start tracking the moon and your body will start syncing up with it.

Vice versa the full moon  is your ovulation or summer phase.  You are hyper energized.  There’s lots of growth, there’s lots of expansion, there’s lots of extroverted energy and so this is a really good time for an, active lifestyle, in terms of movement. Now is the time for that high intensity workout or doing that new salsa high intensity class.

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https://myhelps.us/ask-coach-myrna-how-to-start-over/

Wildly Alive  self-care and, Healthy lifestyle, coaching program

Wildly alive is about Shame -based change is by telling yourself you can’t have those things and you’re a bad person if you eat those things, so just to flip this on the head a little bit and think about it from a respect based change.  I always tell my clients I would never tell them they can’t eat things ever unless they have an allergy to something,  that’s a whole different conversation. Telling yourself you can’t eat bread because this study says that bread is bad for you.  I don’t think that’s enough to really shift into respect based change.  I’m a huge believer in moderation.  I think a little bit of everything is okay.  So have the bread or have the beer, really sit and enjoy it.  If your body starts to say to you, I feel bloated every time I drink a beer, then make some changes. Drink half a beer or try a different beer.

Here are the mechanics for a,  healthy active lifestyle, during covid-19

  • trying keeping the energy light in our house
  • limit media, limit the news because it is mostly negative
  • have a lot of sunlight.
  • getting outside and connecting with nature. Being in nature boosts your immune system. I also love to bring nature into my house. I have lots of my salt lamps.
  • An, active lifestyle, starts with some sort of movement on a regular basis. It could be going out for a walk, it could be yoga, it could be bike riding. Exercise calms your nerves.
  • drink a lot of water
  • increasing your vitamin C intake. I’ve been making this lemon ginger juice.
  • stay open to the lessons of the, covid-19, pandemic
  • be grateful for what you have and for your family
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I read somewhere that you were disappointed in Oprah. Please share why that is.

I would to preface this statement with I do love Oprah. I love her in so many different ways as a woman, as a woman of color.  She is breaking the mold and I love her for so many reasons; but a few weeks ago, I was watching an interview with her in Lady Gaga and she’s on stage and they were talking about mental health and I loved it. I was like yes I love this conversation they’re about mental health, this is such an important part of health right now. But then I started seeing  WW everywhere and I was like what is WW? It was  Weight Watchers and I was so devastated in that moment because Weight Watchers is diet culture.  It’s the epitome of diet culture.  They were having this beautiful conversation about mental health and calorie counting. Weight Watchers has been proven to be mentally unhealthy. It was so sad.

I still love Oprah, I know she’s human.  I know she’s flawed.  I forgive her.

Do you have any special programs or coaching programs that promote a, Healthy Lifestyle

You can find all coaching programs at www.wildlyalive.com

I do have a new free challenge called the embrace and reach your body challenge, that will start in a few weeks.  You could go to wildlyalive.com flash challenge.

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/its-not-about-willpower-how-to-lose-weight-without-dieting/

https://myhelps.us/how-nutritional-supplements-help-achieve-optimum-health/

https://myhelps.us/reprogram-mind-stop-binge-eating/

6 Ways Intrusive Thoughts Activate The Law of Attraction

What you think about you bring about, so intrusive, thoughts activate the Law of Attraction. To get into the, vortex, and activate, the law of attraction, for the things you want, reach for the best feeling, thoughts, in every moment.

If you want to heal the body you must first heal the mind `~ Plato

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You create your physical condition through your, intrusive thoughts activate the law of attraction.  That means you can think yourself sick or think yourself well. I have healed pain in my body many times by focusing on healing energy so in the reverse you can heal yourself by, intrusive good feeling thoughts.

Your natural state is wellbeing, not disease.

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The Magic Breathing 

Disease is the result of blocked energy and that is why the body scan chakra meditation is such a powerful healing tool.

Relax and breathe deeply is the first response to any illness.

Try this next time you feel pain in your body, use these, thoughts, to bring about healing:

Imagine a light like the sun or moon entering your body through your breath. Send that light directly to the pain area hold it there for a few seconds. Then breathe out and imagine you are collecting the pain and breathing it out.

The Magic of Commitment Focus, Thoughts

You are either doing something or you are waiting for something to happen. You are either committed to someone or something or you are not.

Obstacles become opportunities when you are committed.

With commitment, failure is not an option.

Get clear of what you want and why you want it.  These, thoughts, help you focus and stay committed

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Ask yourself the following Questions:

  • What specifically do I want to happen? include details
  • Why do I want this ?
  • How will I feel when I achieve this goal?
  • Am I willing to ask for support if I need it?
  • Will I refuse to give up?
  • Am I excited about making this promise to myself?
  • Will I enjoy the journey from where I am today to where I want to be tomorrow?

https://myhelps.us/how-to-transform-good-thoughts-into-things/

The Magic of Faith Thoughts become things: Activating the Law of Attraction

You have to believe and have faith that the current universal energy will carry you to all your desires that is why, intrusive thoughts activate the law of attraction, and faith.

Faith  is essential to manifesting your desires. It is the currency of the spiritual world.

Trust God and have faith that he will give you the desires of your heart

Hold the vision and trust the process

Go with the flow, try not to constantly swim upstream

Tune into guidance and intuition.  Let the universe take you where you want to go

https://myhelps.us/caring-for-your-thought-seed-inception-ideas/

The Magic of your Life Story Activate, the Law of Attraction 

Start telling your story the way you want it to be, not how it is or was.

You are the director and producer of your life story

Tell an empowering new story about your marriage, your kids,  your bank account, your success.

Write the story, direct and produce the movie and, the law of attraction, will do the rest.

Check out Helen Keller The Story of my Life 

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https://myhelps.us/using-the-law-of-attraction-to-have-it-all/

The Magic of Asking: Your Intrusive Thoughts Activate the Law Of Attraction  

If you don’t ask you don’t get -Gandhi

Ask and you will receive – Jesus

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”

When you ask you get!

  • Ask with confidence and certainty
  • Ask with determination and persistence
  • Ask clearly and precisely
  • Stay focused on your desire and getting to your yes
  • Ask for what you want
  • Ask for that discount,
  • Ask for a major guest, if you are a podcast host like me
  • ask for a loan,
  • ask for a date,
  • ask for affection,
  • ask to be of service,
  • ask for the listing if you are a realtor like me
  • ask for the sale

Ask Ask Ask

See yourself in possession of what you are asking.

Connect with source and Ask God in prayer.

Make a strong declaration this is what I want and I will not  settle for less

The Magic of the Vortex, The Law of Attraction 

Life inside the, vortex, is Devine – Abraham Hicks

The, vortex, is the place where everything you desire is held.

It is un-manifested potential and how, the law of attraction, works

Everything you have asked for consciously or unconsciously already exists in vibrational reality called a, vortex.

All your desires have already been manifested and are waiting for you in your, vortex

Vibration reality always precedes physical reality because  whatever you hold in your hand, you first held in your head.

To get into the, vortex, and activate, the law of attraction, for the things you want, reach for the best feeling, thoughts, in every moment.

Think good feeling thoughts.

Stuff your, vortex, with positive energy and with good feeling, thoughts, and  actions:

  • like walking in nature
  • meditation,
  • singing your favorite song,
  • hugging your children,
  • kissing your spouse,
  • talking a hot bath,
  • getting a massage
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Direct your attention to positive, thoughts, and feelings.

Everything you desire will unfold at the perfect time, because you have activated, the law of attraction.

Conclusion

Thanks for spending this time with Coach Myrna today.  Remember to subscribe and turn on notification.

Until next time Namaste

 

 

Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

Your Life Theme and, personalities,  shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes and the, 16 personalities types, that can compose your identity.

Introduction

John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman.  He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill.   That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, 16 personalities types, controls  our communication.

 

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He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are.  That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions.  Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.

How to identify our 16 Personalities.

John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale.  That is how you read people.

Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun.  I want to appease the, personalities,  so when I  walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down.  I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.

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How does Objects identity their  personalities?

Our, personality, as our way of expression.  Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization.  The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.

Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.

True,  but  I  look at what do you like to do for fun?  What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?”  I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are. I am able to identify one of your, 16 personalities types, from this test.

Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You

Your Life Theme offers the, personality,  framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.

You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or  “Life Themes.”

These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.

These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.

These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.

While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.

They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.

Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.

The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator

An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
  • Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
  • Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
  • Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
  • Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.

According to, Myers-Briggs,  theory of, personality types,  people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:

  • Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
  • Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
  • Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)

The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:

  • Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)

The 16 personalities types

The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.

The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.

The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.

The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.

All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:

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The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:

  • The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
  • The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
  • The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
  • The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
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As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.

What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.

All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:

To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com

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Additional Resources, Personalities.

https://myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

https://myhelps.us/the-secret-to-living-the-life-of-your-dreams/

https://myhelps.us/how-disable-your-autopilot-brain/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory

Authentic Identity Assessment

What Are the 12 Archetypes and Which One Dominates Your Personality

 

Coronavirus: How to Protect Yourself

The, coronavirus, is the latest virus to reach pandemic spread.  Before it was SARS, Ebola, Aids. Since these viruses come around every couple of years, learn how to protect yourself.

In this episode Dr Joe Nieusma, shares information on how viruses like the common cold, influenza virus, and other viruses operate in our body, what is the virus intent, how our immune system fights, what happens when the, immune system, looses the fight, and how health care workers stabilize patients.  We look specifically on what makes the, coronavirus, so deadly and so infectious. Finally we discuss wellness programs and how you can protect yourself against the, coronavirus, and the next infectious virus, since they come around every 2 years or so.

Coronavirus Update

As we record this episode the world is in a panic regarding the, Coronavirus, also called the, COVID-19

  • The US death toll for the, corona virus, has climbed to more than 278
  • COVID-19, cases in the US have surpassed 22,000+  and there are more than 298,000+ cases  worldwide, 12,755+ deaths. 
  • Confirmed cases of the novel, coronavirus, have topped 200,000 worldwide
  • Federal reserve cuts interest rates to nearly zero
  • Italy reported 368 new, coronavirus, related deaths on March 15, a 25% rise
  • Many US retailers have cut hours or closed in the face of the, coronavirus
  • Spain reported that deaths from the, coronavirus, have more than doubled in a day to 288 with infections near 8,000
  • All these reports have produced fear. People are hoarding supplies.  There is no toilet paper, wipes, hand sanitizer, bleach, hydrogen peroxide and other items in the stores. 

 

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My guest today is Dr Joe Nieusma is the fearless CEO/Chief Toxicologist at Superior Toxicology & Wellness, an international scientific consulting firm that he founded.

The Behavior of viruses?

I’ve been in toxicology for 30 plus years and my specialty is exposures scenarios that the human body must endure. Exposure is the broad brush.  That could be chemical exposure, that could be pharmaceutical exposure, that could be exposure to, electromagnetic radiation, that could be 5G, that could be biological exposure or microbial exposure; so the fact that I’ve specialized in exposure of the human body, that’s where my expertise comes in.  Exposure to the biologicals, viruses to specifically the, coronavirus.

  • I opened my own practice and company called, Superior Toxicology and Wellness, providing services helping with the pharmaceutical industry and in chemical exposures. Basically taking care of people, giving them a full toxicological report.
  • The human body has a set amount of defense systems and exposure to the, coronavirus, in particular that’s where the damage starts kicking in.

Before we get into our discussion of the, coronavirus, let’s talk about viruses like the, common cold, SARS, Influenza virus, Mers, AIDS virus, Herpes virus etc.

The common cold virus

  • The, common cold, is a virus actually in a classification called, rhinoviruses, which is actually a sub classification of the, coronavirus, family so they’re all related.
  • Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a viral respiratory illness started in  … Europe, and Asia before the SARS global outbreak of 2003 was contained.
  • Influenza Virus, commonly known as “the flu“, is an infectious disease caused by an influenza virus. Symptoms can be mild to severe. The most common symptoms include: high fever, runny nose, sore throat, muscle and joint pain, headache, coughing, and feeling tired.
  • Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS) is viral respiratory illness that is new to humans. It was first reported in Saudi Arabia in 2012 and has since spread to other countries.
  • Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) is a chronic, potentially life-threatening condition caused by the human immunodeficiency virus(HIV). By damaging your immune system, HIV interferes with your body’s ability to fight infection and disease.
  • The herpes simplex virus, also known as HSV, is an infection that causes herpesHerpes can appear in various parts of the body, most commonly on the genitals or mouth. There are two types of the herpes simplex virus.
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The coronavirus is designed to not get detected

All these viruses consists of a protein coat, the technical scientific word for it is a capsid and this protein coat protects the genetic material which is inside the virus.  The two basic types of virus you have are DNA viruses and RNA viruses.  They have genetic material and they have a protein coat that consists of multiple proteins and this is collectively known as a, viral particle, so that, viral particles, need some sort of a pathway to attach to a host and get into a host cell.  The, coronavirus,  is specifically designed for two things:

  • it’s designed to get into that host cell
  • and it’s designed to avoid getting eliminated.

So the way that happens is that it has an interaction through a specific receptor and with the, coronavirus, that receptor is the 8/2 receptor – stands for angiotensin converting enzyme. That is the gateway for the, coronavirus, to attach to the host cell and get all of the genetic material into that host cell.

The, coronavirus on its own can’t replicate it needs to be in conjunction with the host cell and what the, coronavirus,  does is what all viruses do.  It hijacks the host replicating machinery to make copy after copy of the viral genetic code, so then when that host cell is so loaded with, viral particles,  it virtually bores open and sends new viruses all over the body.

  • The virus that hijacks the cells and uses it to replicate will kill that cell when that starts to happen the body mounts a defense against those, viruses so it’s a battle between how fast can the virus replicate or how fast can the body take out the virus that’s trying to overpower the defense mechanisms of the body the defense mechanism of the body.
  • This is called your, immune system. The, immune system, is the super complex organ system in your body that never gets enough credit, the, immune system, in the human body has the power to ruin your life and it does that when it gets out of whack and starts attacking yourself. This is called autoimmune disease, so it is a  delicate balance of keeping your immune system in check but still powerful enough to battle against viruses.
  • That balance that is generically called, wellness, so you can begin to see how everything is.

 

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How the immune system works to fight the coronavirus

When the, virus, is winning over the, immune system,  that’s when you start to see symptoms of the viral illness. The body gets sick and the illness progresses.  The body is spending all kinds of resources to try to fight the viral load the viral replication and it’s also now trying to manage the symptoms of that illness.

The way you intercede pharmacologically that means fancy big words are saying how do you use drugs to attack the, viruses, well you need an antiviral drug or vaccine and usually those types of drugs target those proteins that are in that protein coat that’s around the genetic material or they try to halt the viral replication in the cell.

  • We sacrifice the one cell to stop the viral replication and if we’re going after the protein coat that’s usually the targets of, vaccines,
  • It’s difficult to make a vaccine that’s why there’s no cure for the, common cold, because those proteins in that coat are continually and rapidly mutating. You have to have something stable to develop a vaccine to fight that viral infection and if the mutation rate is too fast there’s not a target that’s around long enough to design that vaccine against.

How does the Influenza virus vaccine work?

The way to describe this is let’s say you have a bucket of, flu viruses,  and there’s a hundred different kinds in there.  The look at historic data about emergence of these different viruses historically over time and they’re trying to predict the best case scenario for which, flu virus,  is going to break out and run through the human population in any given year. So what they do is they take the top three that will most likely to break out, flu viruses, and they formulate that season vaccine to those three viruses.  There’s no guarantee that they’re getting it right.  There’s no guarantee that it’s going to be effective and it’s always going to be a best-guess scenario.  It’s still a good idea to get a flu shot because more times than not, one of those flu viruses that they have in that mixture is going to the one.

Why does the, coronavirus, affect the elderly population?

I’m understanding why the people who are dying from the, coronavirus,  so far are the elderly or are sick people who have compromised, immune systems,  because the, immune system,  can’t fight the, coronavirus, as fast as their bodies are making these duplicates.

What they’ve seen in the population statistics are the people at the greatest risk are the people that are 70 years old or older or those that have pre-existing medical conditions,  respiratory effects, cardiac effects.  Those  folks with those types of medical problems are particularly at risk and those are the ones that should absolutely adhere to every one of the guidelines being put out.  Stay away from crowds, keep your hands washed, do not touch any common surfaces where this infection could be because they have the least amount of capacity to fight and survive this particular viral infection.

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What makes the, coronavirus so infectious?

If I had to answer that with  one word that word would be, infectivity.

Basically the difference between the, coronavirus, COVID-19, this year’s poster child for pandemic is  the  amount of people that got this infection and how easily it spreads from person to person to person.

This is the key that sets it apart from other, viruses, like, common cold, SARS, Influenza virus, Mers, AIDS virus, Herpes virus, Ebola virus,  etc.

The infectivity rate of the, coronavirus,  COVID-19 is much greater and much more aggressive than viruses, that have been available in the past or attacked  humans in the past.  So in one word it would be its infectious nature.  That’s what sets the, coronavirus, apart; but the reason that is  because of the gateway that, coronavirus, gets into the host cells it’s the ace 2 receptors.  (Angiotensin converting enzyme 2.)

Coronavirus receptors

  • Humans have these, coronavirus receptors, on your heart, on your lungs, on your kidney, on your liver, on all of your blood vessels, and in a high propensity in your oral cavity, your mouth, your tongue, your cheek, your throat, your airways; so whenever there is any viral particles, let’s say somebody that gets less than 6 feet away from you sneezes and you can feel the droplets on your face well you also have those receptors in your mouth, and your throat ,and all of those droplets if that person is infected is just chock-full of, coronavirus, and those viruses bind to those receptors in and around wherever they can get in your body and then start that process of replicating.
  • Smokers have a higher level of the ACE2 receptors, so they are more susceptible to the, coronavirus.
  • The virus invokes an inflammation response, so what happens is the virus gets in and it triggers your, immune system, your, immune system,  calls for the cavalry and the cavalry consists your t-cells that’s your b-cells and all of your other leukocytes, your white blood cells, come rushing to wherever this space is that this attack is going on and the your body is mounting a mass inflammation response to try to kill whatever is there in this case it’s the, corona virus.
  • The problem is the things that go awry is that when your, immune system, gets completely overzealous and calls in everything it has to launch an inflammation reaction that’s bigger than it needs, it loses the braking mechanism if you will and what you have is called a cytokine storm. That cytokine storm produces such an inflammation reaction that it runs through your cellular protective mechanisms.  Your lungs get flooded and your organs start to shut down.

Organ failure and the coronavirus

You can get multiple organ failure over a very short period of time.  If the person is going into, cytokine storm, because of the, coronavirus, infection, it’s a very bleak picture.  It’s very painful and the people have to have very intense resource intensive medical care if they’re going to have a chance to survive.

The, coronavirus, can be symptom-free up to 14 days and I’ve seen some evidence that suggests it could be 24 to 28 days without symptoms.  What’s going on at that time is there’s a fight raging in your body between the, coronavirus, and the, immune system,  if the, immune system, wins then that person never shows symptoms; but is still was infected and give it to other people.

The other thing which you hear repeatedly in the media, is that you have to  be careful because this, coronavirus, can live on surfaces for up to nine days. Think about this as you grab the grocery cart handle and the gas pump, then after touching those services how many times do you scratch your nose or touch your eye.

 

How to Protect yourself against the Coronavirus?

  • You have to protect yourself against infection the best defense is avoiding infection in the first place.
  • That’s barrier protection that’s avoiding the crowds
  • That’s keeping your common areas clean
  • That’s washing after you touch common areas
  • It’s just not doing anything stupid
  • Make sure you’re in top physical condition
  • you know I mean just make sure
  • Make sure you’re hydrated
  • Make sure that you’re getting enough sleep
  • Make sure that you’re eating a good diet not a bunch of processed food
  • Eat a diet of half or mostly plants and you’re going to be okay
  • Practice Wellness

I was listening to Dr. Deepak Chopra give advice on the, coronavirus,  and he talked about having a healthy lifestyle that included, meditation, exercise, and  nutrition.

What is your wellness program to prevent the, Coronavirus?

  • Meditation is tremendous, it’s the power of the mind. You absolutely have to have a positive outlook and you have to be thinking about how you want things to be, not how you dread things could be.
  • Exercise the promotes a healthy body, it helps you to eliminate toxins and gives your body an avenue to eliminate things. Exercise increases your body temperature and it produces the sweat and it increases the circulation to the lymph system, which is your garbage disposal in the body.  Which helps to eliminate toxins.  Exercise gives you the sense of well-being.  I try to do something active every day.
  • Nutrition like I said right before eat half and mostly plants and you’re going to be okay. There’s actually some new research out there that shows after going 90 days on a vegan diet that you change the transcription of 500 different genes in your body, some of them for promoting wellness and others for preventing disease.  It just unlocks your body’s ability to engage with the consciousness of the universe.

One product that I have found that builds up your, immune system, and I’ve written a paper for non-scientific people is called C60 complete from livelongerlabs.com.

Its carbon 60, which is the world’s most efficient antioxidant.  Having carbon 60 on board can help to stop that cytokine storm that happens when you’re when your inflammation response goes haywire and the other two ingredients in C60 complete are black seed oil and curcumin. Those two are very powerful natural products that have been around for centuries in the herbal medicine circles.

The other programs that I like are on my website Superior Toxicology and Wellness.  Click on the HOPE button, HOPE stands for, Health Optimization Prescription Evaluation.  Those folks who are on multiple drug products and think they have no way out of that polypharmacy because one doctor put them on one thing and the next doctor put them on the next thing and the third doctor put them on something else and none of those doctors took the time to look at what they were already on,  I’ll do that for you.  I’ll be that pharmaceutical advocate and give you the questions that you can ask your doctors to say.  Do I really need to be on these drugs or why am I on these drugs. Because if you can eliminate the drugs and give your body what it needs to function optimally, you’re going to give yourself the best case scenario to fight off these pandemics.

This year it’s, coronavirus, before it was, SARS,  before it was, Ebola virus, it’s always something killing humanity about every two years.

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Additional Resources, coronovirus

Novel coronavirus, is among the family of, coronaviruses, that cause illnesses that range from the common cold to Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS). Until last year, the new strain had never before been seen in humans.

Symptoms of the infection include serious respiratory illness often with additional fever, cough, and difficulty breathing. Currently there is no cure nor a vaccine for the infections, so physicians treat patients based on their symptoms. Some patients come down with a bad case of pneumonia or kidney failure. Gastrointestinal problems, like diarrhea, have also been reported.

People who already have underlying health conditions may be more susceptible to the infection, and their symptoms may be different from  the majority of cases — for example, they may not experience respiratory problems.

Novel Coronavirus: 5 Things To Know About the SARS-Like Infection

https://myhelps.us/8-secrets-to-sexy-total-health/

https://myhelps.us/using-reiki-heal-your-mind-body/

https://myhelps.us/how-nutritional-supplements-help-achieve-optimum-health/

https://www.quora.com/q/coronavirus?__ni__=0&__tiids__=5991642

 

 

How to Plan Fund Build Your Dream Life

I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.~~Nathen Aaren

Nathan Aaren helps heart centered entrepreneurs merge all of their passions into one life mission.  Plan, fund and build their, dream life, and business. He’s raised over 1 million dollars per client and worked with Fortune 500 Companies and Grammy Award Winning Artists including The Olympics, Adidas, CBS Sports, Lil Wayne and Ray Ban, and produces two podcasts which charted #1 on iTunes. After being homeless, he became an agent and landed his first 7 figure investment for a client, which later allowed him to create a reality series, “Chasing My Dreams”, which will air this winter 2020.

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Introduction – Homeless to living your, dream life?

Nathan – There are so many lessons that I’ve learned from being homeless; but really basically I started off thinking I was going to be super successful and then I ended up being homeless, locked out of my car. I hit rock bottom, one of many rock bottoms, and over the course of that time I learned a few things.

On one hand, I learned some things about navigating in the real world.  The physical existence of this life; things about leveraging, money, leveraging resources, so that you can live from a place of abundance and not of scarcity.

I also learned some physiological things like meditation and even spiritual things relating to manifestation.   When it came to the financial stuff, I realized that, I needed to stop thinking about money the way I was thinking about it.  I feel that people generally speaking, either thinks about, money, and there, dream life,  when they are in need.

You need Money to live your, dream life

When people or are not living the life of their, dreams, or have lack, they’re not going to be happy; but when they get that, money, they’ll be happy and start living their, dream life.

Then you have other people who demonize, money, and say, money, is not important, money, is the root of all evil (which is actually interestingly regularly misquoted from the Bible). Whatever side of the spectrum you’re on, we can find a middle ground and say, “I need human beings to help me with my mission, with my vision, and my, dreams, and with my goal of living my, dream life. If I need tools, if I need resources, if I need anything that you could possibly imagine, then I need to find a way to get you those resources.

I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.

Myrna – What happened that night you were locked out of your car. Did you start making a plan then?

Nathan – No that the night I remembered an event when I about 7 years old.  I was about 7 years old – thinking who do I want to be? What are my interests as opposed to just thinking what profession do I want?  This memory caused me to create so many tools for myself, for perspective and for abundance mentality.

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Some tools to visualize your, Dream Life

Things like gratitude, things like meditation, and also things like just coaching myself.  Going on walks and coaching myself whenever I find myself in a negative thought pattern.  I’ll walk round the block or sometimes I’ll walk for miles and I’ll just say okay “Nathan what’s going on, talk to me” then I’ll talk right back.

Myrna – So at seven you started thinking about your interests and what is was you wanted to do? When did you start visualizing your, dream life, and visioning things? You mentioned meditation, tell us about your end of life meditation practice.

We want to transition into visualizing your, dream life, the power of intention, rewriting your old programs and thinking about what you want to be at the end of your life. I guess that’s your end of life meditation correct?

Nathan – When I started figuring out the, money, side of things and helping people get funding, I started realizing that I was helping people get, money, for things that maybe they lost passion in. Maybe that they thought they liked that career and then changed their mind.  Sometimes they got the, money, and they started working towards their goal, of the life of their, dreams, and was miserable because it was not their Dharma.

So I tagged into the beginning of my coaching process, this end of life meditation as a way  of figuring out who you are.  What you want to be doing with your life; just getting really clear. A lot of clarity, so that when you’re walking down that path and you get to the point where you get funding, when you get, money, for your personal expenses and your business expenses, that it is something that just can’t leave you; because it is who you are.

I really resonate with your Life coaching package,  where in either your first or second episode where you talk about who am I; I love that process. I will admit, your program  is a little better than mine! I just love helping people through that process of clarity.  One of the tools I use is, the end of life meditation.

End of Life Meditation to Help you Live the Life of your, Dreams

Take some deep breaths and get into your core self. Get in touch with God, or source energy. Feel that connection, imagine yourself at a late age in life, maybe there’s a beautiful window and you’re looking out through the window.

  • You’re on a comfortable couch and you’re drinking your cocoa, your tea or your coffee and you’re in your last days let’s say you’re 95 years old. You look back at your life and you start to smile about all the people that you’ve met, and that you’ve connected with.
  • You look back and you’re feeling wonderful and you’re feeling grateful. You get Goosebumps of gratitude for this beautiful life. You start thinking about how beautiful it would be to just have one little moment to go back in time and just to experience life again, maybe 20 years ago to when you were 75. You start imagining what would it be like to go back to being a young whippersnapper of 75 years old. You ask yourself, was I living my, dream life, 20 years ago? If not, what would I change?
  • Then you go back 30 years ago to when you was 65 and you take some time there and ask the question. Was I living my, dream life? If the answer is no.
  • You go back 40 years when you was 55, and 50 years ago to when I was 45 and 60 years ago to when I was 35 and you start thinking about that and you say, what would I do if I had a little bit of time? What would I do differently to live the life of my, dreams.

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I’m very grateful for the time I’ve had here; but at the same time if I could go back,  I would be a little bit more courageous.  Would I tell that person that I loved them a little bit more.  I would go out of my comfort zone and try something new and creative. If I could go back, I would make sure I lived the life of my, dreams.  That would be so great and then you open your eyes and your wish has been granted and you get a second chance.

Myrna – Nice that’s a different spin to the one that I know. I know the 85 year old rocking chair test.  What is the goal of it exercise?

Failure at living your, dream life.

Nathan – There are a few goals:

  1. One is obviously to get perspective,
  2. Another is continue to have a tool in your tool belt the ability to make tough decisions or to get yourself to do things that you know you should do; but you don’t have the confidence to do.
  3. Take away the fear of taking risks
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Myrna – One of your tools is teaching people how to crack the code on their, dream life, and I know you’re a financial person. Now, where is the code to finances? Is that has to do with abundance and scarcity? So talk about this cracking code on living your, dream life.

Cracking the code to financial abundance in your, dream life

Nathen – My life’s mission is to come together with other people and continue to build and learn how to crack the code to living your, dream life, so I’ve cultivated a lot of wonderful tools.

One of these tools is network sharing. We get together and we do that. We crack the code, we continue to ask questions, great questions, create great answers and great solutions.

Being around people who are like-minded and who are maybe five steps ahead of you in certain areas and in other areas you’re five steps ahead, is a great way that I’ve learned to just crack the code. The end of life meditation with the life design process that I teach basically allows you to start by first visualizing, then prioritizing and then planning.

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Visualizing your, Dream Life

Nathan – So visualizing is a really important step,  because when somebody just goes right into, visualizing the life of their, dreams, they might not know what it is they want to do.  I start off by asking them what they want to do with their life, what is their, dream life? But most people don’t know what that is, we have to connect with God.

We have to connect with the Universe, source energy. I like to ask people some things they don’t consider which is preferences and non-negotiables. Preferences and non-negotiables are basically the foundations of your, dream life.

  • What are your preferences in your day-to-day activities and in your day-to-day life?
  • Do you want to wake up whenever you want? Go to sleep whenever you want? Or do you want to have a boss that tells you what to do. Do you need structure?
  • Your preference is ‘No I can’t have a boss’, I need to have my own schedule, do my own thing.
  • Some people’s preference is to travel the world, they want to be able to work from their laptop, other people are like – no I want to be in my home with my family, I don’t care about travelling the world, as long as I have a stable income that’s what matters to me.
  • So by knowing your preferences is important in visualizing your, dream life.
  • You prefer a certain kind of humor and like to be around people every day or you like to be by yourself.

 

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What’s under the hood of your dream life.

Your non-negotiables may be your purpose.  The big, sparkly thing that you want to do like help everybody become successful and you becoming a successful coach, or a motivational speaker etc.

Those are the day-to-day things that are going to really help you thrive on a day-to-day basis, so getting really clear on those things is super important. Once you have Fantasized and done your preferences and non-negotiables, then you have a clear understanding of what you want your, dream life, to looks like.

Myrna – I know that you have a course  called Dream University. It’s an online course and you say it’s not like any other course. So tell our listeners about your Dream University and funding and how people can get resources and your course.

How to Plan Fund and Build your, Dream Life

Dream University is an online course that helps you plan fund and build your, dream life, and your dream business.  The process that I’m kind of talking about now is loosely related to that course.

The course basically step one is you say okay

  • ‘I’m going to take a step back from trying to be productive’ and ‘I’m going to figure my life out.
  • I’m going to take some breathing room and I’m going to say, what do I really want to be doing?
  • What’s going to light me up inside?
  • What’s going to make me feel great that when I am 95, I can look back on my, dream life, and I have those goose bumps and I feel amazing? I feel grateful and there are no regrets.

Once we we’ve really gotten clear on what it is we want from our, dream life, I have a one-page plan which is the idea of you. It’s a one-page vision. If you take it and you put in your hands or you stick it on your wall or on your desk and you can point at it and say I don’t know how I’m going to make this happen; but if I can make this happen.

I’ll be the happiest person in the entire world. That’s the idea, you have one page, you look at, you’re like that’s it, this page gives me the emotions that I want and I’m going for it, and in the process with all the tools I have, I’m going to strive to fully engage from full abundance and it will feel great.

How to get Funding for your, Dream Business

  • Step two is getting funding. Now the beauty of this is even if you don’t need funding this is like from my perspective a much more robust version of a business plan, where you have something that is interactive, that you look at and you can use to get funding, basically called a pitch deck. I call it a fill in the blank funding template (which allows you to fill in every single aspect that you need to present a presentation to someone for funding) whether it be an investor grants or crowd funding as well.

This presentation, not only does it work to get you money for your personal expenses like your rent or your mortgage, your bills, your gas, your food, your groceries and so on. You can focus on what you love full-time; but also for your business expenses like if you need to hire people, if you need to buy gear or equipment, if you need to pay rent for a space whatever it is, it allows you to have all the things you need.

So you can work from a place of abundance or scarcity. This business plan is a step-by-step road map to your business goals and, dream life. There are some aspects like the financial aspects that you can use to decide. Do I need money? How much money do I need to live my specific lifestyle?

Some people want to live very simply, some people don’t want to live very simply. They want to have all these special cool neat, unique things – all is great; but you can use it for two purposes. One for your personal life, two for your business life (get funding for your thing)

  • Step three is to grow and at that point it’s just really about helping people get the right strategies for the things that they want to do. Reverse engineering what their end result is and finding out how they want to do that.

So in business, usually that means building the thing that is the most value that you can provide to the world and then finding where the human needs are. You want to serve humanity and tap into those audiences so that you can serve those people.

Myrna – Tell our audience how they can connect with you on online or to how to join your group or to order your course.

If you guys want to check out Dream University you can go to www.nathen.tv  Feel free to text me, my number is 310 807 1998.

Conclusion to building and funding your Dream Life

Thank you so much for tuning in to transform your mind, to transform your life radio hour and podcast as you see I bring you guests that can help you to transform your life. The first thing we need to start with is to visualize the life of your, dreams.  That starts in your head.  You can’t hold in your hand anything you don’t hold first in your head.

I want to give you a personal invitation to my Facebook Group called Life Coach. We have daily inspirations from me, coach Myrna  and from dozens of other coaches who can also help you stay inspired during the week. Please subscribe to the podcast here:

Your Subscription helps to reach a wider audience. You know, we want to help.

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/secrets-thriving-not-just-surviving/

https://myhelps.us/successful-but-unfulfilled-get-back-to-basics/

 

How to Build Wealth By Clearing Money Blocks

How to build wealth, by clearing your money blocks.  Money blocks are negative subconscious beliefs about, money, that limit you from achieving your conscious desires. Hilary Hendershott, wealth coach talks today on the Transform Your Mind Radio and Podcast on the topic  “How to build wealth, by remove your, money blocks.” Hilary was once $600,000 in depth and now has a seven figure net worth

Listen to the full interview here:

Hilary – I found myself in my late 20s with multiple credit cards and  tens of  thousands of credit card debt, plus I had a $420,000 in mortgage debt on a condo.  In 2008 that  condo in San Jose California went from $430,000 in appraised value to just $190,000.  I had massive uncollateralized debt, $72,000 in tuition debt and I was the kind of person who would spend money before it came in!  I was a massive over spender.

Back then I had never heard the term, Money Blocks. Today as a coach and operating from my own, money blocks, I understand that I was an over spender because I had, money blocks.  

The definition of, Money Blocks

The definition  money blocks: negative subconscious beliefs about, money, that limit you from achieving your conscious desires. Let’s say you’re trying to save, money, but, for whatever reason, you can’t seem to do it. You spend, money, almost as soon as you get it, and you don’t know why.

Hilary – I started gaining clarity on my, money blocks, the  day I pulled my leased BMW into the gas station and I put my credit card into the machine to get gas, and my credit card was declined. I tried another card, it was declined, I put the third card it was also declined. At that point, all my credit cards are maxed out and  no one would give me any more credit cards.

My bank accounts were empty and had already emptied out my 401k. I had spent all this good money chasing after bad  while trying to dig myself out of this hole; because as my income was declining in 2008, and my debt was increasing.  So I literally couldn’t even put a tank of gas in my beautiful convertible BMW that day.

How I became an expert on clearing, money blocks

Hilary – I decided to become an expert on, money, psychology. I really made a decision that day and I said “I‘m not willing to live like this anymore”. I understood, how to build wealth, from the beginning. I understood that our, money blocks,  are as much a function of linguistics,  the words that we use to describe, money, than it is about our upbringing.  

So, when I said “there’s never enough money” I was speaking it into the atmosphere. That became a self fulfilling  prophesy.  There’s never enough money was my, money operating system. I trademarked this term, Money Operating System.  Just like your computer has an operating system, we all have a, money operating system.  That is sort of another way  of saying, money blocks. 

How money blocks are formed

As a child we hear adult say: 
  • money, doesn’t grow on trees,
  • you have to work hard for, money
  • money, is the root of all evil
  • Money, is evil and rich people are greedy.
  • I wonder who she had to screw to get that job.
  • You see your parents fight about, money, all the time.

 Whatever it is, everyone will have a different set of, money blocks; because not everyone has the same, money operating system.  

As a financial planner, I learnt, how to build wealth, through real estate investments. I actually had a six figure income; but spent more than I earned. 

How to build wealth to a six figure income

There was one year  I earned $120,000 in income and I spent $150,000.   I attended a talk at a Financial Planner Conference and this woman, who is now a personal friend of mine,  talked about, money blocks, and,  money, psychology.  She used the term over spender”. I had never heard about, money blocks,  before that talk. Being an over-spender is one way to manifest, there is never enough money. 

Another way you can manifest, there’s never enough money, is by being an, under earner. There are some of you listening to this podcast; you just can’t seem to earn what you know you’re worth in the marketplace. You are actually sabotaging yourself

  • You deliberately pick the jobs that are under earning.  
  • You under promote yourself,
  • You don’t ask for raises,
  • You get contract gigs and spend six months unemployed.
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Hilary – To make a long story short, I put what I learned into practice I paid off all my debt and then  I got really honest and transparent about where I was financially.

I lived in my mother’s guest room for a while to make it happen. I lost that condo and I paid off the debt. I started putting my money where my mouth was in terms of building my business.  I now run a registered investment advisory firm. We are all women, owned and operated.  

My business earns about a million dollars a year. My husband and I just share the numbers; because I want to normalize people talking about, money. My husband and I have a house in Silicon Valley that’s worth two million dollars and if you put together all of our other investments, we’re definitely what you would call financially independent. We have, financial freedom. 

How to Build Wealth: Have your, money work for you.

How to build wealth, from having no money. Now we have, money, work for us; but it’s a skill set that I didn’t always have. I have found out that my purpose on this planet is to coach people, especially entrepreneurs. For those people who run businesses, the sky is the limit for them to remove their, money blocks, wherever they may be. 

I figured it out. I sort of put myself in, money, boot camp. I didn’t buy a cup of coffee in a coffee shop for two years. When I was in boot camp, I got very conscious about what I was saying about, money.  I now use linguistics as the foundation of my coaching.  Anyone I coach, the first thing we do is remove  I can’t afford that.” from our vocabulary. 

Those words are not allowed to come out of your mouth. You either say “Oh great, let me see how I can work that out or  “I‘m going to put that in my spending plan.”

Myrna – That’s awesome. Your language about, money,  is very powerful. Let’s talk about, money mindset block.   My audience on the radio are mostly African American and  sometimes they are in the poverty space.  Our community  is predisposed  to over spending.  We want the nice things, we want the designer shoes and bags.

I was talking to a guy one day, he was wearing nice running shoes and he said they were Kanye West shoes and cost $400. I couldn’t help thinking  what was his, money mindset, to spend $400 on Kanye West running shoes? 

What is a Money Mindset Block

Myrna – What exactly is a, money mindset block, and how does that show itself for somebody that’s looking at their spouse and saying maybe they have a, money mindset block?

Hilary – First of all, the idea of the, money operating system, is the lead, money block. For me it was there’s never enough money and so all my, money blocks, are going to harmonize with that particular lead, money block. For example, let me just say each individual is different and I don’t mean to answer questions for someone who isn’t even here;  but let’s take the example of the person who spent $400 on Kanye West running shoes and maybe can’t pay rent, so there’s an imbalance there.

If you ask that person why he spent $400 on running shoes, he might say:

  •  I need to have this to be socially accepted,
  • I need these shoes so that people can think I‘m wealthy,
  • I need to have these shoes,  so that people can think I‘m powerful. 
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Then you would ask the question.

  • Well, do you have those things?
  • What do people think about you?
  • Have you achieved this goal?
  • Is that desire fulfilled for you?

And if you really look, it’s probably not because we need another pair of shoes or another designer bag or any other another brand name to become socially acceptable.  It’s an infallible hole that you can’t fill with designer shoes. Instead, if you can reposition in your mind,  if you’re really tired of your, money, going the way that it’s going, if you’re sort of fed up and a little bit disgusted with the fact that you know you’re a smart capable educated, well-intentioned person and money isn’t working for you in your life, this is, how to build wealth, you clear your, money mindset block. 

What are your 7 steps to  build wealth?

Myrna – You have 7 steps to, wealth, is that how you coach someone that maybe have an overspending problem or they have a, money mindset block, problem or their, money operating system, is not working properly? 

Step 1- Permission: All effective coaching starts with permission. The first step is to decide you have, money blocks,  to make the decision that you’re ready for change.  There’s no denying that you’re giving up the Kanye West shoes and the brand name bags and other creature comforts. A lot of people who make financial transformation to, build wealth, find that they have to move.

They actually need a lower cost place to live; they need to give up the beautiful leased car so they can pay cash for a car and don’t have monthly payments.  You are lowering your standard of living in the beginning and that takes courage. It takes willingness to sacrifice, so after you’ve made a decision then we catalog your vocabulary about money, this is really important.

Step 2–  Your money vocabulary –  no one ever wants to talk about, money.  You need to talk about money, to find out what your friend is doing; what’s working, what’s not working. You can provide advice or ask for advice if you want. What do you say to yourself about, money? Maybe some people think in pictures about, money, or maybe it’s just an emotion.  You think about spending, money, and you get excited; you think about saving, money,  and you get sad.

I have my participants that I coach,  actually spend a month doing a, money, conversation log. What do you say to your partner about, money? How do you tell your customers about, money? For example, if you’re a real estate agent and someone wants to pay you a four percent commission instead of a six percent commission, what do you say? What are the actual words that are coming out of your mouth?

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Building Wealth with Money Map

So, let’s get specific about what you say about, money. We’ve got a, money map, we’ve actually got kind of your, money blocks, in black and white in front of us.

Now, we can really start the coaching. So, we have sort of highlighted and done the private detective work figuring out, what’s your actual, money blocks.

I‘ll give you an example, someone I coached found this counter intuitively. She felt rich when checks would get mailed to her, so she would put the checks in her desk and not send them to the bank. Isn’t that strange? I can’t even identify that block, that is like a serious, money, scarcity thing.

Myrna –  Did she not know the checks are only paper unless you get the, money?

Hilary – No. It was completely just something she was blind to, until we did the, money, conversation log and she saw it.

She saw it for what it was and she’s like oh my God, this is crazy behavior; but no one’s ever asked me about my, money, behavior, so I never thought about it.

Step 3 –  logistics of money I don’t teach budgets, I think budgets are overwhelming and too detailed for most people. I think that people spend a lot of time designing a budget and then they never honor it or live by it, because it’s too restrictive .

Step 4 – Earn money – You can’t categorize every single expenditure you have, you’re a busy person with lots of responsibilities.  So instead, I teach a system I call automation. It’s sort of like the equivalent of irrigation in your garden little hoses bring, money, to the places where it needs to be.  People love it. 

  • you pay yourself first,
  • you pay your overhead
  • you save for your short-term goalsmaybe your next car 
  • you save for your financial independence first.
  • Then what’s left over, You spend from one account and that way when that account gets to zero, you’re not at zero, your money goals are already funded.

That’s the plan and honestly most people get through the plan because it’s very front-loaded. It is a lot of work in the beginning; but once you set it up, just like irrigation, it happens every time you turn the hose on. People pay a lot of, money, to coaches to figure out how to earn money and they can’t figure out why their, money, still doesn’t work for them and it’s because they don’t have these steps.

Step 5 – The ASK mindset –  Learning to ask is a  mindsetYou can ask for a million things :

  •  you can ask your credit cards companies for a lower interest rate,
  • you can ask your insurance for a lower premium,
  • you can ask your memberships for a discount.
  • You can ask  for a discount at Star BuckJust go askThe point is not whether you get the discount or not, it’s having the mindset to ASK. We do a challenge inside my coaching program called “Get 100 No’s  You win the game by getting a hundred no’s and my assertion is, It will change your life. You’re building strength your, money blocks, are going to be different. For someyou’ll find that your, money blocks, are operationally systematized in your business processes.

Step 6 – Clearing the, money blocks.  in your business –  As an entrepreneur you’re either under charging for your products or services or you’re not spending enough effort getting prospects into your funnel. Whatever it is, there’s some part of the process that’s broken for youMy training is called “Eight Ways Business Owners can Transform Revenue into Personal Wealth, it is anon-demand training from October 8th to 15th.

So, you definitely want to go grab it.  This training is really for entrepreneurs who are sick and tired of working so hard for the, money, and having not much to show for it.

Step 7 – Protect – Once you clear your, money blocks, you can, build wealth, by protecting what you built.

I just want to show you how to climb out of that trap in this training and the great news is it’s totally FREE

I want to encourage you, please subscribe to the Transform Your Mind’ YouTube podcast’s channelDefinitely trying to grow our audience. 

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Additional Resources 

https://myhelps.us/rich-wealthy-9010-rule/

https://myhelps.us/how-survive-an-economic-collapse/

 

What are the Symptoms of Adult ADHD?

We most often associate, ADHD, with children; but statistics show that 60% of childhood, ADHD, transforms to, adult ADHD.

We as have seen or been parents to the child who never stops or sits down.

In addition to never sitting down they are also:

Symptoms of Childhood, ADHD

  • Are impulsive
  • Have trouble focusing
  • Have trouble managing their emotions
  • Have difficulty remembering information
  • Don’t start tasks (or don’t finish them)

So how does it feel to be in a relationship with someone with, adult ADHD?

Here is one woman’s story af adult adhd

I dated 4 men with, adult ADHD, or ADD.  One was predominantly hyperactive; two inattentive, one likely mixed. I fall under the vagueness of “mixed” myself, which means I show characteristics of hyperactivity — the impulsiveness, the occasional non-stop talk, the rash decisions — and inattention: the fuzziness, the daydreaming, the drifting off mid-conversation.

I learned the, ADHD, tricks early on like, touching him when I needed his attention and he was working. I learned to move my fingers from his face to mine — the universal signal for eye contact — when he began to drift off.

The two inattentive men,  naturally tended toward household chaos, an inability to finish projects, and a desperate need for legal stimulants.

Understanding is the key to calming the chaos in the relationship.

 

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Adult ADHD symptoms

I’m curious about, Adult ADHD symptoms. Does kids with, ADHD,  become adults with, adult ADHD?

For clarity let’s make sure people understand the acronym for, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Individuals can have, attention deficit disorder, without the hyperactivity and that disorder is ADD.  Things to keep in mind about, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or, Adult ADHD,  is that, yes you can have, ADHD, in  childhood and about 60% of kids grow up still having the same symptoms and become, adult ADHD. One of the interesting pieces about this is that it’s important for folks not to misconstrued information about what they’re seeing the adult exhibit.  Certain characteristics of, Adult ADHD, can mimic other disorders like for example Thyroid disease.

Does the 40% of kids who don’t have, adult ADHD, become cured?

Not necessarily , they could have developed coping skills to manage the, ADHD, behavior so the symptoms were minimized. They could have also learned strategies on how to behave or how to compensate for the symptoms.

What are the different types of, Adult ADHD?

When you look at the diagnostic and statistical manual that psychologists use.  It gives you  clarity on how, Adult ADHD, is diagnosed.  There are different types 3 types of symptoms that we see in, ADHD.

  1. Inattention
  2. Impulse Control
  3. Hyperactivity

We have to go through the process and can’t have people diagnosing themselves or their children or anyone else with the disorder. Sometimes you have symptoms because people don’t have appropriate amounts of minerals in their body or they might be subject to low levels of magnesium.  Things like that or people might have other diseases that might mimic, ADHD symptoms, so get these things ruled out with blood work.

ADHD in adults could mean you have an, ADHD, partner.

Here is what happening in their brain. What exactly is happening in the brain to cause someone to develop symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?

 

The Adult ADHD brain has impaired activity in four functional regions of the brain.

  • Frontal Cortex. This region controls high-level functions: …
  • Limbic System. This region is located deeper in the brain. …
  • Basal Ganglia. …
  • Reticular Activating System.

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Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search “Productive on Purpose” on your favorite podcast player to listen today!

Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It’s time to start walking in our purpose, y’all.

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Adult ADHD test

To test for, adult ADHD, one has to look at the functions of the brain. The neurotransmitter in the brain is affected in ADHD. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for how we organize our cognitive flexibility and being able to control ourselves and things that come into our frame of reference.

The Basal Ganglia helps to regulate communication within the brain, sending signals from one neuron to the other and is responsible for our motor control movement.  The Basal Ganglia is also responsible for regulating emotional volatility and the Reticular Activating System is our major relay system.  It controls the many pathways that enter and leave the brain and is responsible for arousal and consciousness.

Dr Gray who is the author of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus wrote an article in which he claims that men with, Adult ADHD, have problems committing to women because of the disorder. Do you agree with that statement?

No, not at all.  I think there are other reasons that men can’t commit to women. Dr Gray is trying to give these men a pass.  I would love to see his research.

Does, ADHD, medications cure the disorder?

Medications for, ADHD, are non-stimulant and stimulant meds depending on what the individual the parents would choose. I always think of other Alternatives besides the use of pharmaceuticals.  I would rather use in a non-medication treatment or neuro feedback to help with symptoms of, ADHD. Bio feedback can cure the disorder, medication just masks or controls but never cures.

if you give anyone who clearly has, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, medication for 6 months and the other Bio Feedback for 6 months, you will see the difference in the treatment results.

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Does internet pornography rewire men’s brain to have, Adult ADHD?

I came across an article from Dr Gray and he was specifically talking about men who develop, Adult ADHD, because of pornography. He said pornography is re wiring men’s brain and causing them to develop, ADHD.  He said pornography also blocks love and connection with their partner.

https://wellnessforce.com/dr-john-gray-adhd-brain-health-sex-addiction/

 

Shocking Facts About ADHD

  • One out of ten American children have been diagnosed with ADHD,
  • One out of seven American women over 55 will develop dementia,
  • Statistics reveal a greater risk of ADHD in children of divorced parents, particularly when boys are missing the regular influence of their fathers or their mothers are unable to find happiness

 

Additional Resources Adult ADHD

https://myhelps.us/understanding-mental-illness-my-bipolar-life/

How to Disable your Autopilot Brain

Dealing with Anxiety Disorder after Addiction

https://www.verywellmind.com/add-and-attention-deficit-disorders-2161810#:~:text=Attention%20deficit%20disorder%20(ADD)%20is,completing%20tasks%20and%20social%20interaction.

 

How to Use Intuition in Business Transformation

You can use your, intuition, in the, transformation, of your, business, by paying attention to signs. There’s signs like for example, you open a magazine and there’s something that pops out at you or a song comes on the radio and it triggers something you were asking the universe for an answer.

Jenny Fenig  specializes in empowering creative women, entrepreneurs, to increase their confidence, impact, money and time-freedom by mixing modern and ancient practices. Jenny spent the first decade of her career in the corporate space as a public relations executive and event producer.  Jenny then shifted her focus to working with, self-employed women, helping them package their magic to exponentially grow their, business, income and joy. She’s proud to lead the most trailblazing online community for transformational coaches, consultants, creatives and wellness professionals working with the energy of their intuition, the moon, and the seasons.  Jenny is the author of “Get Gutsy” and also a podcast host. She was a Silver Stevie Award Winner for Coach of the Year.

Listen to the full interview here:

 

How Monpreneurs can use signs for  Business Transformation

A mompreneur is a mom who is an, entrepreneur, working her business from home while raising her kids. A great visual is kid in one hand and phone in the other!

I tell you it’s actually one of the most beautiful things I know.

Myrna – You mentioned, intuition, and you mentioned vision and clairvoyance  in your bio, can you share how, intuition, can help, entrepreneurs, in the, transformation, of their, brand.

Jenny – You can use your, intuition, for, business transformation, by paying attention to signs. There’s, signs, like you’ll open a magazine and there’s something that pops out to you or a song comes on the radio and it triggers something you were asking the universe for an answer.

Let’s say you’ve been struggling with something or pondering a question, you can get your answer from daily living. These, signs, will continue to be around you all the time you just have to to open to the universe talking to you.  You’ll be in a conversation and someone will drop a line and you would be like that’s exactly what I needed to hear that day, so I’m a big believer of using, intuition, and, signs, to get answers to the, transformation, of your brand.

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What is the transformation Mindset?

You don’t need to be drinking from a fire hose,  we’re living in a world with so much information, the news cycle never ends.  Social media never goes to sleep.

So let’s connect the dots on, signs, and, intuition.  Your mindset has to be open for instruction and inspiration. You have to have a mindset for, transformation.

Myrna – I received a, sign, one day I was reading the newspaper.  I saw an article about a Life Coach. That was my, sign, and I used my, intuition, to know that becoming a, Life Coach, was my purpose.

How do entrepreneurs use intuition for transformation

This is where your own spiritual practice comes into play.  You can just say to God or the Universe “I’m open, I’m ready, show me the way. Show me a, sign, help me use my, intuition, to know where to go next in the, transformation, of my, business.  Then just open up just open up and trust and know that the answer may not come on your exact timetable, like within in the next hour; but it will come.

We are always being guided.  We all have angels and guides that show you these, signs, and inspirations.

As women we get up get up and put on those heels and go to work Monday through Friday from nine to whenever, because that’s the game. That would be very much kind of the setup of the, sun. The, sun, is going to always rise in the East and set in the West. Women are not built to work with, sun, energy.

How women can use the feminine energy of the moon for transformation

On the other hand, when we look at the, moon, it is a more, feminine energy.

Women are very connected to energy of the, moon. The, moon, is in a different place in the sky every night.

It’s just so fascinating to me that as women our energy changes during the lunar cycle, just like the, moon’s, energy changes during the lunar cycle. I was never taught this growing up, it was something I learned over time. I was forcing myself to show up every day and be the same time like the, sun.  I was doing this for decades.

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How to use the phases and energy of the, moon, as, entrepreneurs

There are four main phases of each lunar cycle:

  • There’s 13 moons in a year and there’s 12 months in a year.
  • We go through a full lunar cycle when we go from a, new moon, back into another, new moon. The, moon, is always changing.
  • The, moon, is  always changing and growing in terms of her light in the sky. When that light diminishes, we go through that entire lunar cycle and so at the beginning of a cycle we have what’s called a, new moon. When you see the light on the right side of the, moon, that’s when you know it’s a, new moon, you’re in a new phase.
  • This is when women can start their, transformation, journey because they can harness the lunar energy really tap into their vision.

New moon and Transformation

During the, new moon, phase,  you will be resting, and renewing. This is where, transformation, takes place.  You will be saying I want to put my energy and my focus for this upcoming lunar cycle on this project.

You can use a, moon, cycle magic tracker to help you use the phases of the, moon, for your, business, transformation. You could say, the date of the, new moon, is this, so I should be feeling this. My, intuition, should be this and my intention for this, new moon, should be this.

Setting a plan for your Transformation Art

  • My intention is, I’m going to be open
  • I’m going to be open to, signs
  • I’m going to be courageous
  • Get tactical on goals and vision.
  • Set a promotional plan for this, business transformation.
  • During this phase, I’m going to ramp up my health and fitness practice by ensuring that I sweat five times a week

The next phase of the, moon, cycle is the Half Moon. It is 7 days to a week after the, new moon. This is called a first quarter, moon.  This energy is is connected to personal growth, action and commitment. This is where you make a plan for personal growth to help with the, transformation, of your, business.  You take action on a next step, and you make a commitment to the, transformation, of your brand.

You’re going to check back in and say I’m  going to go back and look at my intention that I set in the, new moon, phase and look back at my goals and see how am I am doing.  How far have I come in my, transformation? If your measure is not up to your goals, this may be a time to take action and double down.

Maybe you realize it’s time to make a shift, because you realize you’re not  in alignment or the world has changed and you need to make some pivots.  You also don’t want to be anchorless where you can get thrown off course when the winds of the storm come.  That would knock any of the progress you made in your, transformation, back to ground zero.

 

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The Full Moon and, Transformation

A week after the half moon,  about seven days later, you’re going to get to the, full moon. We all know what the full moon looks like,  it’s glorious. That’s when we’re in our fullest power.  The moon is in her fullest Power. My sign is Taurus so I love the, full moon in Taurus.

As women we all went through our bleeding years where we had a menstrual cycle.  The energy of a, full moon, is connected to the energy of ovulation. It’s the few days in our cycle where we could conceive a child.

https://myhelps.us/how-does-emotional-intelligence-affect-your-success/

That’s the energy that the, moon, is putting out and we can you can tap into it. We can tap into the, transformational energy, of the, full moon, and 10x the, transformation,  of our brand.

You are hot stuff during this phase of the, full moon, cycle. Everything you touch can turn to gold; but you got to go for it.

  • You got to send that email,
  • you got to place that phone call,
  • you got to go to the event
  • put your name in the hat
  • send the proposal

Whatever it is, you got to believe in yourself and be willing to make those bold moves and bold decisions for the, transformation, of your company and brand. That’s the energy of the, full moon.

 

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Last quarter lunar cycle and transformation

The next lunar phase is the, last quarter moon .  The, last quarter moon, the energy of that phase of the cycle is let go to rise higher. If you invested time and energy into your health and wellness it is the time to see those results. Rise higher in your relationships, rise higher in your financial growth.

Let go of what didn’t happen and focus on the next cycle of the, New moon, for those projects.

We have a coach certification program to help life coaches in the, transformation, of their coaching, business.  I call this co-creating and coaching with the cosmos.  We’re really tuned into this framework called the magic makers method.

Myrna – I’ve been intimately connected with the, full moon, because the, full moon, affects the tides and our internal system which is made of 70% water; but I didn’t pay any attention to the other phases of the moon like then, new moon, or the, last quarter moon.

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How Can women entrepreneurs build confidence by learning to distinguish between their inner voice, and their, inner critic?

Jenny – The, inner voice, it’s really that ability to get still and to get quiet which is so important for women, entrepreneurs.  We’ve got eight million notifications coming in on our phone and it’s buzzing on our computer and the noise is everywhere. So we need to clear out and have a regular practice where we get quiet and get still so we can hear our, inner voice.

Listen to that, inner voice, to know and feel what’s pulling you forward and what’s pulling you back. We have that connection with our bodies and when you start working with nature, working with the seasons, working with cosmic energy, you’ll find that place inside of yourself again and you’ll be able to distinguish between that inner knowing and the, inner critic.

https://myhelps.us/life-leadership-success/

The, inner critic, is that gremlin in your head that stops your, transformation

  • You’ll never be good enough
  • You’re making a mistake
  • You don’t belong there
  • You’re screwing it up
  • They’re all laughing at you
  • I could never put my message out there, because there could be some mean person who wants to dump on me and I can’t handle it that. Your, business cannot get to a, transformation, cycle with the, inner critic, in your head.

 

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I love the book “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert  she lays it out there’s, it’s really about guidance.  Creative people we create through ideas right and we need ideas to come to us from our, inner voice, which is our source.

When we get ideas from our, inner voice, and we don’t act on it, we can’t get mad when someone else become successful from an idea we didn’t act on.

You can purchase Jenny’s book “Get Gutsy” and her coaching certification program called Magic Makers coach certification by visiting her website magicmakerscoach.com.

The Magic Makers coaching method, we help Coaches understand and master the craft of intuitive coaching.  It’s a specific type of coaching and then we teach you how to master the craft of a business.

Jenny’s main website is www.jennyfenig.com.

Conclusion Business Transformation

If you found this content inspirational, please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, Castbox and the Transform your mind YouTube channel.

 

 

How to Make Money Using The Law of Attraction

How to make money, using the laws of attraction. As I did all these different, meditations, what happened to me was I was able to release out of my body and mind, all this inner turmoil and figure out, how to make money. I found my creativity, love and the wisdom that we all have within us. It was hugely successful to say the least that I found those, meditations.~Pragito Dove

Listen to the full interview here: 

Bio 

  • Pragito Dove is an internationally recognized Author, Hypnotherapist, Coach and Speaker with over 20 years’ experience.  Pragito helps entrepreneurs, leaders, and CEO’s align their mindset on, how to make money, allow more peace, time and financial freedom. She shows you how to change your money blueprint, recondition your mind for automatic abundance, and use Spiritual Laws of Attraction to create real world success.

Pragito – It didn’t start off so great. I could tell you I had a very challenging childhood. I had a cruel mother and my father didn’t protect me. I just adored my father; but he was not in his power. He didn’t stand up for himself and didn’t stand up for me, so basically I got trodden all over by my mother. I was actually terrified of her; so what I did to cope was to shut down my heart and live in my head.

I had a lot of fear, I had a lot of anger and pain in my heart. I realized even as a young child that I was just going to have to sort of stick it out so to speak until I got old enough to do something about it.

In my early 20s, I heard about this Zen master called Osho in India. He had a wide range of, meditation techniques, including expressive, meditation. I started doing these, meditations, because I really needed to learn, how to make money, and release all those turbulent emotions that I’d stuffed down.

https://myhelps.us/how-clear-money-blocks-build-wealth/

 

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There are several Meditation Techniques on How to Make Money

  • There was a laughter, meditation to activate the, law of attraction money
  • A fearless, meditation, for crying and releasing
  • There was a dancing, meditation, for joy
  • A gibberish, meditation, to just get out all the junk
  • Also a dynamic, meditation, great for dumping out anger and
  • A humming, meditation.

As I did all these different, meditations, what happened to me was I was able to release out of my body mind, all this inner turmoil and found inner peace. I found my creativity, love and the wisdom that we all have within us. It was hugely successful to say the least that I found those, meditations.

Myrna – How many years did that take you to release all the hurt?

Pragito – Well, it was a process.

It was just an unbelievable transformation that happened to me. I saw how it was possible for me, so I trained to teach all these, meditations, to others as well.  I realized I could create a business and help others use the, law of attraction money, and that’s become my mission.

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Order your copy of Ready, Set, Go to Grandma’s on Amazon or wherever books are sold.

 

Hypnotherapy vs Meditation

Myrna – What exactly is, hypnotherapy, and how is it different from, meditation?

Pragito – Well, what I do with the, hypnotherapy, is I take people on a guided journey deep into their subconscious mind (because that is where the solutions to the problem lay).

Now, if we take, money, let’s say someone is always broke or use his/her credit cards and pay off the credit card; but then goes back in the same cycle. That was me actually. I would pay off the credit card and then it’d be back on the credit cards again. Always getting to the same place like an inner ceiling and not being able to get past that.

What we can do in the, hypnotherapy, session  is go to the root of the problem and find out what is going on with their, law of attraction money, what they  learned about, money as a child.

Myrna – My last interview, we discussed, money blocks. I don’t want to do too much into that because I had a whole episode on, money blocks; but would that be considered another, money block, or is there a different word for this particular blueprint like, law of attraction money?

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Using Hypnotherapy to remove Money Blocks

Pragito – The, money block, is what’s blocking you from making money. The blueprint is your beliefs and what’s guiding you. Like a blueprint for a construction project,   you’re told this is the way life is and you believe it because that’s what you’re told.

I have to tell you something very interesting. I’ve been doing, hypnotherapy, for over 23 years. It’s not about, making money, at all. It’s about love. It’s about deserving,  a lot of us believe I am not deserving, I am not worthy. Another way, ‘I’m not enough, I don’t deserve wealth.

Myrna – I agree, Michelle Obama in her book – “Becoming”,  talked about not being enough  a lot. Even when she was first lady and even when she was a lawyer and successful; because she started off in the poor parts of Chicago,  she felt she wasn’t enough and she felt that she didn’t deserve it.

As a hypnotherapist, what kind of work do you do to remove that, money block, blueprint and activate the, law of attraction money?

https://myhelps.us/accelerate-soul-journey-clear-money-blocks/

Pragito – Your, money, blueprint is sometimes formed in the womb! The child can learn, how to make money, from their mother. The mother doesn’t want it or maybe the father doesn’t want it, because it’s all energy. We’re all transmitting energy all the time and then the child arrives.  So I take my clients into a more relaxed state; but not going out.  They’re still present and I ask the wisdom of their body, the wisdom of their heart and their higher self to bring forward for us the, money block.

Pragito – The good thing about, hypnotherapy, is because you’re working at the root, when we’ve healed everything, it never ever comes back.

How to Make Money using The Laws of Attraction 

Myrna – Why is it important for an entrepreneur to understand how the,  Law of Attraction money, works and to invest in themselves? Do they have to start by being in a, hypnotherapy, session for them to understand their, money,  blueprint?

Pragito – Well it’s just that the, hypnotherapy, can help to make it all go quicker. That’s what the, hypnotherapy, can help with; but the place to start is with the awareness. It’s a three-step process.

  1. The first step is “Ask for what you want”. However, you have to be clear, you need clarity on what you want.
  2. Then you have to focus on what you want and activate the, law of attraction money. You have to focus on it and let people know you want it. Get pictures of what you want. One tip I give is, Do not ask for, money, because the universe doesn’t really understand what you mean by, money. Do you want a bag of, money, to fall on your head one day? Is that what you want? It’s much more powerful to ask what you want the, money, to buy. For instance,  I want a Lexus car or I want to go on a cruise.
  3. Step 3 is “allowing” This is the most difficult step and it’s a step where most people fall down. You have to allow what you want to come to you. This is where the, meditation, is helpful. One of the, meditation techniques I teach with, meditation, is learning to witness the mind. You learn to misidentify from the mind, because the thoughts of the mind actually are not real. They are like shadows, like when you walk down the street on a sunny day and you can see your shadow, that’s what thoughts are. They’re like shadows, they are not real and they’re often not true. The mind says things like “you can never have a Lexus, you’re broke.”
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What you learn to do with the, meditation, work is to observe, witness or watch the mind.  Learning to misidentify from it so that you don’t get caught up in believing what the mind is saying and you can just relax and say “thank you mind,” and  just let the thoughts pass-by.

Those are the five magic words for the mind. Let the mind pass-by, just let it pass-by.

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Myrna – That reminded me I used to work with automatic negative thoughts and when I would hear the mind telling me something, I would talk back to it, because it keeps repeating all the time and then you talk back to it – I would say you better stop.

Pragito – Yes that’s good, that’s right. You better cut that out.

Good Vibes activate the, Law of Attraction Money

If we look at the, Law of Attraction money, on a scale of one to ten, one being our most negative vibes and ten being our most positive vibe,  All the, law of attraction money, does is it matches. It’s a one trick pony, that’s all. It doesn’t care who you are or what you want. If you’re some famous Hollywood actor or a rickshaw driver in Calcutta, it doesn’t care.

All it does is match your energy. We really need to pay attention to our emotional state which is in the subconscious. With 95% of our thoughts being in the subconscious, if we transmit anger, guess what we get back, anger. If we’re transmitting fear, that’s what we get back. So we have to pay attention to our vibes. Our only job is to keep our vibes positive.

There are many ways to do that and one of my favorite ways is the laughter, meditation. Well I do that a lot. That’s good and fantastic, because laughter really helps to keep your high vibes and then you’re in your positive energy which is the, law of attraction money, state. At this point, your possibility of attracting, money,  is very high.

Whereas when you’re in a negative state, of course it becomes very low. The most important thing is to be aware of your emotional state. We want to be aware of the thoughts of the mind; but that’s only about five percent of it. It’s the emotional state that is the most powerful and so here’s another tip if you really want something and you need, money, to buy.

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How to Ask for the Money you want

Let’s say you’ve got this really dinged up old car to take your kids to school and you need a decent car. So you say to the universe “look I really need a good car and you say it with a lot of emotion and with a lot of energy.  “I really need a really good car”. Your chances of getting what you want go up astronomically when you put emotion behind it.

But if you just say “well I’d like to have a Lexus,  it’s on  my list but I don’t care. There’s no real emotion behind it, then you’re not going to get a Lexus. You might still attract it, but you won’t get it as quickly as someone who’s very passionate about what they want and puts a lot of feeling into asking for it.

Meditation, for Peace, Prosperity and Passion

Myrna – Let’s talk about your book now. Your book is called “Lunchtime Enlightenment: Expressive Meditations for Manifesting Peace, Prosperity and Passion.” Now, tell us about your book. Is it working under the same foundations that we’re talking about? We started with, meditation, and, hypnotherapy, then talked about the, law of attraction money, and prosperity.

Pragito – The, meditations, are for manifesting peace, prosperity and passion. Meditation, is being in the present moment and, meditation techniques, are important. The, meditation techniques, are there to help us and remind us to be in the present moment. Why do we want to be in the present moment? Because first of all we’re aware of our feeling state, the feelings are always in the present moment and when we have that present moment awareness, we have the power of choice.

We can choose.  If we find our vibes are down, then we could say, I need to watch a funny video or comedy’.  ‘I need to get my vibes up right now, etc. That awareness gives you that choice. Let’s say for example we feel really angry towards somebody, so it’s not a good idea to talk to somebody when you’re angry or when you feel angry with them.

In the book, I give suggestions for what you can do when you feel angry. There are two techniques in particular where you can dump your anger out in the sacred context of a, meditation technique, in the first stage.  Then in the second stage, you sit in silence and you find it much easier to sit in silence when you’ve let the lid off the pressure cooker. So, to speak and get rid of a lot of emotional turmoil, it’s very easy to drop down. You will find inner peace in calm, your inner wisdom, love, creativity and all these good things.

Meditation Techniques  to Calm Anger

From that place you can decide what to do about this irritating person that’s annoyed you. Do you need to talk to them? If you do need to talk to them, then you talk to them from that place of peace and calm, because that will help them become calm and peaceful; because normally they would be reacting to your energy. Then, the whole thing is just a big mess; but when you take responsibility that you feel angry and that it’s not going to help to either dump your anger on somebody else or stuff it down. You do the, meditation technique, you’re nice, calm and very likely to come up with a creative way to handle the situation.

That is perfect for marriages because a lot of people in intimate relationships blow up and it doesn’t ever go anywhere.

Myrna – Tell our listening audience how they can get a copy of your book. Also, tell them how they can reach you to do any of your, hypnotherapy, sessions coaching and things like that because I’m pretty sure you get results.

Pragito – The book is on Amazon. Actually this book was just released in August and it’s already a number one bestseller.

Myrna – Good for you, congratulations.

Pragito – Thank you. To find me, you go to my website www.discovermeditation.com/contact you can sign up for my laughing Buddhist Network newsletter and you get two free Gifts.

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How to Heal the Mother Wound From Your Childhood

We all know that children from zero to seven are all like little sponges, downloading everything. This is when the, mother wound, gets started. Mothers, are nurturers if the child is not getting nurtured, they fail to thrive.

I want to say that I personally have not had a, mother wound.  My, mother, and I are pretty close. I’m the eldest of four children and my, mother, she’s actually my best friend. But I understand the pain from the, mother wound. I adopted three children from the, foster care, system who were heavily wounded by their, mothers.  They all had, abandonment, issues so,  I experienced firsthand how the, mother wound, affected every aspect of their lives.

The girls became promiscuous with men and boys, wanted friends and have people like them. Also because of the, mother wound, they were not being able to bond with me or my husband, because another bi-product of the, mother wound, is, attachment disorder, so the adoption was not successful in integrating our families.

My guest today is Keri Hummingbird, author of “Love is Fierce: Healing the Mother Wound. If you or anyone you know need healing from, mother wounds, this is the episode for you.

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Introduction

Keri Hummingbird Sami is a soul guide, shamanic healer, award winning author and inspirational speaker. Kerri has over 20 years of experience in helping women rewrite the story of their lives through inner transformation, connection to essence, remembrance of purpose and realignment to authenticity and truth.

Myrna – Kerri what was your relationship with your mother like? Were you wounded by your, mother?

Kerri – Myrna even though your personal experience with your, mother, from your vantage point is very healed, which is a beautiful gift, there is like an ocean of not healed women on the planet. Having a, mother, as a life preserver who knows how to love is so beautiful and really pivotal because everything that happens in our early life, starting from the moment of conception is being recorded.

Starting from the moment of conception in the mother’s womb, babies are being formed in the, consciousness, of the, mother, it can’t be any other way. You’re inside the, mother, you’re being formed by the, mother’s, beliefs about herself, beliefs about the world, ancestral traumas that are unhealed; all of it goes inside of our ancestral DNA in our very human bodies.

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Your Communication with your mother starts in the womb

Just imagine that the voice that you speak to yourself with it starts forming when you’re being formed inside your, mother’s womb, so however your, mother, speaks to herself is how you start to learn to speak to yourself. If the, mother, is not confident or if she’s had sexual traumas or if she does not believe in herself that’s going to influence your development. If the, mother, believes in herself, if she’s strong, if she’s vibrant then you’re getting that. You’re getting that training inside as you’re growing inside her body.

They’ve proven now that babies are able to perceive outside the womb, they’re able to perceive not only what’s going on inside the, mother, but also the outside environment. Babies can perceive things, they can hear voices, a vibration happens they can feel things, they sense things.

So, the beginning of education in earth school starts from the moment of conception. We all know that children from zero to seven are all like little sponges, downloading everything. This is when the, mother wound, gets started. Mothers, are nurturers if the child is not getting nurtured, they fail to thrive.

 

If a child is not being nurtured by the mother they develop a mother wound

If you experience a big loss like an, abandonment, early in that zero to seven age range, that’s hugely impacting. Anywhere along your development from zero to twenty-one, anything that happens is going to be huge for you, because all of your various bodies are getting developed.

Your physical body is getting developed first, then your emotional body is getting developed then your mental body is getting developed, then your spiritual body gets developed until age 28, so all of these bodies are being formed. Everything that happens in your life experience is like creating the context of your life, the inner context.

Myrna – In this moment anyone who is a, mother, should take that role seriously. It’s a big responsibility. Before I got into this consciousness space and this self-improvement space I would hear them talk about the men or women who are in prison and blame their parents. It all starts with their, mother wound.

I always thought it was a big old blame game, but now I know it’s true the, mother wound, develops into so many unfortunate situations.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Your Mother Wound affects your children

Kerri – I want to reassure every, mother, because when I started learning about the, mother wound, I started going to self-judgment. I look at oldest child especially how his life rolled out. He’s really struggling with this and that and I was struggling with the same things while he was in me. I had a lot of, mental health, challenges that I’d been working on when I was pregnant with him at 30.

I had already been working on it for 15 years from the time I was 15 years old because I had early, childhood trauma, so I was trying to heal and I thought I had it all together and then he came into my womb.

This happens to a lot of, mothers, because you get pregnant and then your whole physiology changes. Any traumas from your childhood comes right up to the surface. You start having, postpartum depression, or other things and you’re like why is this happening. I was really excited to have this baby. Why am I going through, postpartum depression?

Having a baby, it’s like the big purge. One of the reasons for, postpartum depression, is not dealing with stuff from your past or not dealing with your, mother wounds. Psychology makes an effort in helping, mothers, to cope with this kind of thing. I even invested in psychotherapy.
I would sit there every week and like try to work on myself.

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How the mother wound affects your romantic relationships

Myrna – If you’re abandoned by your mom or hurt by your mom, the, mother wound, it’s very hard for you to love yourself, then you can’t really be in romantic relationships.

You have to remove the subconscious programming that says you are not good enough and learn to love yourself.  If you can’t release the, mother wound, and love yourself, you will continue to struggle in romantic relationships. You must gain control of your life as it deals with this issue of the, mother wound?

Kerri – I think that subconscious holds the keys to all of it because if you think about this concept of the iceberg submerged in the ocean. The part you see above the water is the conscious mind, but there’s so much more underneath the surface.

There’s so much to explore about your own consciousness to understand yourself better, so that you can show up even better.

You didn’t choose to be molested , you didn’t choose to be abandoned, you didn’t choose to be hurt by your, mother, and have a, mother wound.

According to according to Dr Wayne Dyer‘s teaching he says we chose our parents, because we needed that experience in order to do what we have to do in this earth.

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Psychotherapy can help to heal the mother wound

My journey in psychotherapy helped my understanding of why I had a, mother wound. The home I grew up in from the time I was five years old, was very solid. My mom and my dad worked as a team. I didn’t always like the things that they told me I had to do, but they were caring, they were loving and attentive.

We had three-way hugs in a supportive family environment. We went sailing on the weekends, we had a nice life. So I was like, why am I so screwed up? I had this feeling that something got broken inside of me from my early childhood, because I knew that there was trauma from zero to five years old.

It was a big trauma. My mom married a man who was probably not suited to be a dad. He had his own trauma story from his own childhood of being abused by his mother and left outside of hotel rooms while she slept with men and things like that. He was abandoned in hotels for days, so we had all these traumas he was working through.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

Unresolved Wounds from your childhood affects your ability to parent

My, mother, started noticing that there was a really good possibility that he was going to molest me. I want to give my mom huge props, because many, mothers, stay in a situation like that afraid to leave, but my, mother, was a warrior of love. So left and found the next best pathway and that was my first step father.

My first stepfather was a violent drunk, so it was very traumatic. So by the time I was five after four years with this violent step father, we moved and just by chance met my second stepfather who I call my dad. He is the man my, mother, has been with for 45 years until he passed away three years ago.

Spirituality is the path to healing the mother wound

I started my spiritual path and for me that was the opening because it taped into beyond the mind, it taped into the body where a lot of trauma is stored. Many people know trauma is stored in the body and it taps into the emotional body. When you’re a child and you’re seeing these scary things happening, you don’t have words to talk. You don’t have language.

As an adult, you have to go deeper into the body, the somatic experience. You have to go into inner child healing, and make friends with all these aspects of you and become their parents. It’s really about re-mothering yourself and the re-mothering process takes some time because
of those early conditionings.

You have to stay in the conversation of love and kindness and gentleness long enough for it to start to sink in, and for these aspects to heal. Along that journey all kinds of modalities might happen for you. I found mine in a shaman. Somebody told me they got healed by a shaman and I was like sign me up.

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How can men heal the mother wound?

What are men’s role in healing the, mother wound? A lot of times men add it to the damage that the, mother, started and then the men compound the, mother wound.

Kerri – Men can help by healing the mother wounds inside of them, because all men were boys and they came out of a, mother, so that’s why the solution is the, mother, because we all live in a, mother, to begin life. So, in order to heal we all have to walk back to the, mother.

Your relationship with your, mother, and the programming of love that you received from your, mother, is also your trust in your connection with the divine and earth. It’s a multi-dimensional conversation, because whatever lack of trust you have with your biological mother, that same lack of trust can show up in your connection with the divine, in your connection with the planet.

If you’re disregarding your body, you’re probably also disregarding your impact on the earth.

Luminary 

Why did you write the book “Love is Fierce: healing the mother wound”?

Kerri – My book uses my personal experience to illustrate various points that are very common across humanity so, there’s a lot of themes in the book that talk about why it is that we are in the situation we’re in right now. Why we have so much war and conflict, misunderstanding and divides between people. This is because of the breakdown of the matriarchy. The breakdown of the feminine and how a lot of the patterns we see are derived directly from breakdown of that primary relationship with the, mother.

I had to go through the deep inner work to write the book and to reveal the patterns, but honestly I’ve been working on this project my entire life.

Myrna – I understand, you had 20 years in psychotherapy. This project allowed you to heal your, mother wound, and also heal the, mother wounds, of your children.

Myrna – Where can our listeners connect with you get a copy of your book? How can they connect with you on social media and your website?

Kerri- They can connect with me on my website www.kerrihummingbird.com
On the website there is a link to sign up for 17 days of interviews on the return of mother wisdom, which I find to be really inspiring. I interviewed all these women and they have these beautiful things to say about where we’re going with humanity on the earth.

You can purchase the book on amazon and then you can take your confirmation number over to www.motherwoundbook.com  (receive 17 days of interviews for the Return of Mother Wisdom Series)

I also have a podcast called the Soul Nectar Show, I hope you’re going to come and be a guest on the show.

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Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-mothers-abandonment/

How to Deal with Grief from Death or Incarceration

Coping with, grief,  either from death, divorce, incarceration, job loss, or even loosing your home is devastating. Mental Health counselor, Arifah Yusaf  and, Life Coach, Myrna Young shares strategies for coping with loss.

I have been fortunate at 60 years old to not had to deal with the kind of, grief, that tears your soul out. The kind that of,  grief,  makes you want to die. The kind that  hurt so bad that you can’t get up out of bed for weeks.

I have heard stories, and I have had a front row seat to my daughters grief when she buried her fiancé.

Grief from Losing a Child:

I was listening to an interview with Anderson Cooper a few months back and he was telling the story of his brother suicide. Then I heard his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt,  talk about it. Put yourself in this scene.

Your 22 year old son wakes up from a nap and comes into your room. Asks you some question you don’t comprehend and then runs out of your room onto the balcony of your 12th story Penthouse suite and jumps to his death while you watch, shocked out of your mind.

Gloria Vanderbilt, had this experience. In an interview she said in her, grief, she stayed in bed for 2 weeks and cried and cried until she ran out of tears. Since then she has not cried once. She says it is as if, she has no tears left.

When a loved one commits suicide the, grief, is even more acute because there is blame wondering what you may have missed, could have done to prevent it, are you the cause etc.

But after hearing that interview, I heard another interview on the, Mental Health Happy Hour podcast, that penetrated my consciousness about the horror or, grief,

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Grief and the Death of a Spouse:

The guest told the story about, the death of her spouse, seeing her husband drown in front of her and how her world changed from that day.

Here is her story. She said her husband Matt was a super athlete very strong. She gave us the mental picture of him hanging from a cliff with one hand and in the other hand pulling up his 17 year old son.

One day before they picked up her husband’s son from the Airport, they decided to take their dog for a walk in the woods by their home. Her husband decided to take a quick swim in the river, something he did several times per week. She decided to keep playing with the dog.

After some time, she said she heard her husband cough once and she didn’t think anything of it. She said to herself, he got water into his mouth again. When she heard him cough again, she decided to investigate. When she reached the river, she saw her husband clinging to a branch in river. She knew something was wrong.

The river looked the same as it always looked, very calm on top; but as soon as she stepped into the river to help her husband, she felt the strong undercurrent. The current took her and her dog up the river for about 2 miles before it spit them out on the shore. She said she was then lost in the woods for about 45 mins before she was able to get help.

They began a search and rescue for her husband, but  after 3 hours it became a search and recovery.

They found him entangled in weeds at the bottom of the river.

My husband drowned in front of me

Her, grief, extended to having to tell Matt’s son that his father was dead. What it felt like to pick up Matt’s son from the airport the day before his 18th birthday.

Knowing that Matt’s son could never again celebrate his birthday again because it will always be the anniversary of his Dad’s death. She talked about having to call Matt’s parents and tell them their son was dead. She said his father hung up on her he didn’t want to believe it. Calling all his friends in his phone and telling them. Her, grief,  was unbearable.

She said she could no longer practice her profession as a therapist, because she couldn’t listen to other people’s problems anymore. But the point she wanted to convey by telling her story, was that while she was in mystery and her world changed forever, her neighbors world and everyone else’s world continued unchanged.

The sun came up the next day, her neighbor came out the next day and picked up his morning newspaper. She likened it to going to the movies, you pay to see a comedy but while everybody else is laughing your screen split and you are watching a horror movie.

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Grief from Suicide:

My firsthand experience with, grief, was seeing the pain it caused my daughter when her fiancé committed suicide. His mother called me and I thought she was joking when she said ” The boy killed himself” until she said why would I joke about something like that.

I had the unenviable role of telling my daughter her fiancé was dead. I can still hear her screens of anguish. I didn’t know what to do.

Her world changed. She quit school. She was doing her Masters degree at the time.

She went back later; but I had to call her professors and tell them the situation.

Then she had to deal with the funeral and the burial.

I didn’t know what to do, what to say or how to help her with her, grief.

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The therapist said that most people don’t know what to do or say.

Because our culture spins the tale that life must go on and that everything has a purpose.

She feels that is bullshit to sat that her husband died, so that she can use her pain to help other people. What she is doing now.

She said you can’t tell a mother who lost her baby that God had better plans for the child.

We will go through her suggestions for helping others deal with, grief, and what you can do to help later on in this blog

Here is how to deal with, grief from incarceration: Grief Counseling,

In the co-host chair is Arifah Yusuf Mortley, registered social worker, mental health counselor and founder and program director of Lifted by Purpose.

How is, grief from incarceration, similar to losing a loved one in death?

In my experience I have supported both clients in, grief counseling, dealing with, grief, of a loved one who died and secondary loss, such as losing a loved one to incarceration. When speaking with my clients, dealing with the loss of a loved one, I always listen and provide the space and opportunity for them to be heard and share their feelings.

It’s important for them to know during, grief counseling, that grief, is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense your, grief, will be.

Emotional reactions of, grief,  can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair.

During, grief counseling, clients may associate grieving with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of, grief, but you can also experience intense, grief from incarceration,  or losing a loved one to incarceration.  For example, I had a client who was pregnant and her fiancé was sentenced to 6 years in prison.

Grief while incarcerated

Even though he did not die the, grief, was intense from her watching him get sentenced and taken away the same day, delivering their baby without him present, and raising their child on her own.  She would drive 3 hours to visit him and 3 hours back home once a month and speak to him as often, as she could afford.

Over time the, grief from incarceration, took a toll on her, as this was not the family life she had envisioned for herself.  Likewise, it was difficult for her fiancé in prison, as he felt he was missing out on the experience of raising their child, and the experience of being the father he promised himself and her, he would be.

He felt disappointment in himself and a disconnection to his family. He also, experienced, grief,  from loosing his freedom, and the ability to provide for his family.  He also grieved missing all the milestones of his child’s life (ie. Missing first words, walk, first day of school, birthdays) and intense worry about their health and safety. As well, wondering if his girl would leave him for someone else. The inevitable of not being able to fully control situations, was an intense loss for them both, and sometimes, she would say it felt as if he was gone and not coming back home.

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Steps to helping friends or family members deal with, Grief:

1: Never say get over it or it is for the best.

2: Allow them to grieve. If they want to talk about it listen. They need to feel heard. In fact they will talk about it until they feel heard.

  1. Help them by taking care of daily necessities like child care, cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash, picking up kids from school etc. A person in, grief, is not capable of doing any of these things.
  2. Sit with the thought that time does heal. The therapist went back to work helping others, my daughter went back to school and graduated on time with her Masters degree. She is getting married in December. Anderson Cooper decided to send himself to the war zone and report news. That is how he dealt with his, grief. That launched his career as a reporter.

How to Deal with grief from incarceration or death

Listen and engage  in conversations about the loss, so they can begin to recognize the reality of the loss and confront their own emotions (e.g. loneliness, sadness, helplessness). These stressors include things like thoughts, feelings, actions, and memories that cause us to feel, grief, and focus on the loss.

I share the Tear Model when working with clients, which focuses in on the following.

The Tear Model to help with, Grief

  • Accept the reality of the loss
  • Experience the reality of the loss
  • Adjust to a new life without the person
  • Reinvest in the new reality

I often explain that restorationorientation refers to coping with issues related to secondary changes brought on by the loss (e.g., financial, family demands), and adapting to these issues.

A griever will go between confronting the loss and avoiding the loss.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Helpful ways to cope with, Grief, and Loss

  • Express yourself. Talking to a trust friend, family member or counselor is often a good way to soothe painful emotions.
  • Allow yourself to feel sad. It’s a healthy part of the grieving process.
  • Keep your routine up.
  • Sleep.
  • Listen to music or express your emotions using the arts
  • Connect with your spiritually.
  • Eat healthy and exercise.
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol.
  • Honor your special person and treasure fond memories (drawing, photos, music, and memory box).
  • Connect to nature – go for a walk, breathe in the fresh, focus on what you see outside (i.e. Trees, birds).
  • Make a special memento to perverse a loved one’s memory. Write a letter to the person.
  • Lean on support from friends, family, professional support.
  • Learn about grief resources, support groups, grief professionals.
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR COPING WITH, GRIEF

How to Heal Your Brokenness

Life After Death: How an Atheist Became a Believer

https://myhelps.us/how-to-find-the-right-man-the-second-time-around/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3131745/

 

https://www.themarshallproject.org/2017/11/10/the-singular-sorrow-of-grieving-behind-bars

 

How to Find your Passion in Life

Have you found your, passion? Passion, is that burning desire that God placed in your belly at birth.  It is also called your burning bush.

In this episode I reference the Final chapter of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement”

I call this chapter “God’s consuming fire your , passion.

In this chapter of my book  “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their passion, the fire in their belly, into its monetary equivalent. Their passion was like a “burning bush” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.

Free Download: Out of the Snares, How to Heal your Brokenness
Out of the Snares

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”

— Field Marshal Ferdinand Foch

What is Passion

Passion it is that thing that you were created to do. The thing that makes you feel good when you are doing it, like you transcended your body and entered the heavens. The thing that you would do all day for free.

What was Kobe Bryant burning bush? His Passion

Kobe Bryant was born with a purpose, he got the genes and the physical attributes to be a basketball player but;  he had to engage his, passion. 

Purpose  is what you were placed on the earth to do, it is  your contribution to mankind. The first way to uncover your, passion, is to find out what holds your interest and what you love doing.  God gave you your gift of purpose, and you’re not always passionate about your purpose; but if you can marry it to your, passion, it’s like pouring gasoline on the fire. You have to feed your, passion. That’s what  Kobe Bryant did and that is why he is a Legend. No one out worked him, he wanted to be the best and win championships. 

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One of the self-evaluation questions I ask my new coaching clients is “If you were the Power-ball winner of $500,000,000. What would you do with your time?” You see, when you take away the need to earn money, then your head becomes clear as to what your passion really is.

In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their passion, the fire in their belly, into its monetary equivalent. Their passion was like a “burning bush” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.

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For Walt Disney it was drawing and Art. Walt started drawing as an ambulance driver in the army. Then he became a commercial artist.  After being let go from his company, he decided to start his own graphics company. His company failed from bad management. Walt had a string of failures that included bankruptcy before he found success.  He married Art with imagination and created the happiest place on earth. His passion for drawing birth an empire that has gross revenues today in the billions of dollars.

Walt Disney World is now visited by over 5 million families every year, Annual cash flow from Disney’s consortium of products and films are in excess of 21 billion dollars.  It includes 535 Disney stores, a cable television station, amusement parks in Orlando, California, Paris and more. All because he would not let the fire in his belly die.

So what would you do for free?

How did Sylvester Stallone Find his, Passion?

Sylvester Stallone was born disabled. He suffered injury at birth that left one side of his mouth deformed and caused him to speak funny. Sylvester’s passion was born from being hungry. Like Les Brown would say “You got to be Hungry” Sylvester was broke and hungry. He was walking the street one day, cold and hungry and he decided to go into a library to stay warm. Laying on the table was a book about a fighter who overcame odds to win.

That inspired Sylvester Stallone to go write the Rocky story. He wrote that story in one sitting. He did not stop for 20 hours. That inspiration was the gasoline that lit the fire that God put inside him. Again he married passion with imagination and wrote a story that resonated with each and every one of us. The story of Rocky. It made him a millionaire many times over.

“When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn.”

— John Wesley

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Back in the day, Stallone was a struggling actor in every definition. At some point, he got so broke that he stole his wife’s jewelry and sold it. Things got so bad that he even ended up homeless. Yes, he slept at the New York bus station for 3 days. Unable to pay rent or afford food. His lowest point came when he tried to sell his dog at the liquor store to a stranger. He didn’t have money to feed the dog anymore. He sold his dog for $25. He says he walked away crying.

Two weeks later, he saw a boxing match between Mohammed Ali and Chuck Wepner and that match gave him the inspiration to write the script for the famous movie, ROCKY. He wrote the script in 20 hours! He tried to sell it and got an offer for $125,000 for the script. But he had just ONE REQUEST. He wanted to STAR in the movie. He wanted to be the MAIN ACTOR, Rocky himself. But the studio said NO. They wanted a REAL STAR.

They said he “Looked funny and talked funny”. He left with his script. A few weeks later, the studio offered him $250,000 for the script. He refused. They even offered $350,000. He still refused. They wanted his movie, but NOT him. He said NO. He was not selling out, if they did not cast him, they couldn’t buy his script. It worked.  They wanted the script so badly, that they cast his as Rocky and history was made.

What is exactly the, Meaning of, Passion 

Passion,  is that which deeply stirs us or a developmental perspective, so it’s like the essence of our commitment.  Passion is the thing that drives us. You might hear older individuals say they “lost their will to live,” that means they lost their passion, their fuel.   Just like a child requires love to grow, we require passion to continue to grow inside. 

When we selectively share our, passion,  we engage the universe to manifest our, passion. 

It’s like putting gasoline on your fire when you engaged your, passion.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How did J.K Rowling Find Her, Passion?

J.K Rowling was a single parent, a divorcee and out of work. On a train ride from Manchester to London she got the inspiration to create the Harry Potter story. But she was already a published author. Writing her first book at 6 years old and another at 11 years old. She became an English teacher because her passion was writing. Ms Rowling says

Failure stirs the fire in your belly to do something about your passion.

In 2015  J.K. Rowling’s 2008 Harvard commencement speech was published under the title ‘Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination’

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My, passion, is learning, building and imparting. As a Life coach, author and motivational speaker, I am constantly learning, building and imparting into the lives of others.   I could do it all day and I do it for free.

Find your, passion!

“There is no greater thing you can do with your life and your work than follow your passions – in a way that serves the world and you.” Richard Branson

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How to find your Passion in life

What I encourage people to do is to focus on the positive at all times.  If they remove the negative, those emotional vampires, they will let the light in. Once you move away or walk away or even run away from negativity, you can begin to find your,  passion in life. Be passionate about whatever you desire, it doesn’t matter what it is, be passionate about it by surrounding yourself with those people who are similar in Life or those people who have already done it. 

I remember people talking about Diana Ross, one of my favorite people. They were so upset with her for continually surrounding herself around for White people, and she told them she surrounds herself with anyone regardless of color who is going in the same direction as she or where she wants to go. 

The common complaint among a lot of people is that they need to, ‘find their passion.’

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Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other

webpage https://hypnosis.simpsonprotocol.com/hypnosis-on-the-radio

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This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Additional Resources How to Find Your Passion

https://myhelps.us/8-find-your-passion-it-is-your-burning-bush/

https://myhelps.us/how-to-win-at-the-game-of-life/

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-passion-and-desire

https://www.forbes.com/sites/timothyjmcclimon/2018/11/12/purpose-vs-passion-in-leadership-which-do-you-need-most/

5 Differences Between Finding Your Passion and Finding Your Purpose

How to Fly like an Eagle above the Storms of Life

Eagles, love the storm. When clouds gather, the Eagle, get excited. The Eagle, uses the, winds of the  storm,  to lift it higher. We can also learn to, fly like an eagle, above the, storms of life.

Did you suffer from Childhood sexual abuse or sexual harassment as an adult? Today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast, I share my journey from being sexually abused as a child and how I used the, storms of life,  to, fly like an, eagle in a storm. I teach how you too can use the winds from the, storms of life,  to elevate your life to greater heights.

In this blog, we will study the, Eagle, and how the, Eagle, looks forward to the storm, because the, eagle, knows that only by using the, winds of the storm, can she elevate to greater heights. Eagles in a storm, fly above the storm. Without the, storm, she can never fly above the clouds. Similarly, in life we need challenges, hurts and disappointments to get us out of our comfort zones and teach us to fly like,  eagles in a storm.  Without the, storms of life, we would become complacent.

 

Here are some characteristics of the Eagle:

How to, fly like an Eagle, above the, storms of life 

The crow that picks and picks at the ground, can’t rise to the heights of the eagle or is not conditioned to rise about the ground. It’s mindset is to stay on the ground and peck for food.

The, Eagle, does not escape the, storm. It simply uses the, storm, to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the, storm.

When the, storms of life, come upon us — and all of us will experience them — we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God and fly above the, storms of life,  like an eagle, or we can be like the crow and peck and peck on the ground.

The, storms of life, do not have to overcome us. We can allow power of, Jesus Christ, to lift us above thw, winds of the storm. Jesus Christ,  enables us to ride the,  winds of the storm, that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the, storm.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Eagles, in the, Storm

1. Eagles, fly alone at high altitude and not with sparrows or with other small birds. No other bird can go to the height of the, Eagle. We can, fly like an eagle, where no others go.
2. Eagles, have strong vision. They have the ability to focus on something up to five kilometers away. When an, Eagle, sites his prey, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the, Eagle, will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it. We can have vision like an, Eagle, and have focus on our goals.
3. Eagles in the storm, When clouds gather the, Eagle, get excited. The, Eagle, uses the, winds of the  storm,  to lift it higher. Once it finds the, winds of the storm, the Eagle uses the raging, storm, to lift him above the clouds. This gives the, Eagle, an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leafs and branches of the trees. We can use the, storms of life,  to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

Storms, bring destruction

I meditated on the reason for the hurricanes that caused so much destruction to homes and property in the Caribbean islands, Houston, TX and Florida. I believe that God does not make mistakes, that everything in the Universe has a purpose. So, I asked myself what is the purpose of the, storm?

My initial response from the Universe was that, storms, are created with the purpose to blow down the old and make room for the new, because everything is recycled on this earth. But I felt there was more so that is why I decided to study the, Eagle. As mentioned before. The ,Eagle, uses the, storm, to elevate him higher. He can’t fly to great heights without the winds of the storm.

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What if God created the, storm, to elevate his people?

The, storm, does not only blow down old trees, it blows down old houses as well, it blows down old power posts and power lines. So, in actuality we should be like the eagle and anxiously await the storm to see what old thing will be renewed.

It works for old relationships as well. There is something immensely intimate about riding out the, storm, with your loved one. Just you and your close family members. All the attention is on each other. No television, no lights just the personal connection and candle light!

I have always loved, storms. I remember the first, storm, that me and my husband rode out together. We were only dating for about 3 months. I loved the rain on the roof, the sounds of the winds rustling the roof, the sight of the palm trees blowing in the winds and being wrapped up in his arms. I think we came out of that experience closer than we went in. That is a time to really talk and share! Get to know each other.

The other thing the, storm, to the Caribbean Islands brings is new things to replace the old. If you had an old roof and the wind blew if off, guess what FEMA will give you a new one. If your pool screens were old and the wind just ripped them apart more then guess what you get new screens at no cost to you. If your old car was on its last leg, then you could park it under a tree and pray the tree falls on it! You get my point.

How you experience anything depends on how you interpret it. Change your mindset that the, storm, comes to take from you and replace it with the winds of the storm brings change. Changing out the old for the new.

Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, in the, storm, and you will not sink

But I still think there is more!
The bible teaches us to keep our eyes on, Jesus Christ, when we are in the, storm.
There was a time when Jesus had sent his disciples to go on before him while he stayed in the mountain to pray (Matthew 14:23).
While they were in the boat there came a, storm, “and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.”- Matthew 14:24

Seeing the distress his disciples were in, Jesus Christ, went to them, walking on water. When Peter saw, Jesus Cjrist, he asked him to allow him to come to him, by walking on the water. Peter started to walk on with his faith however, when Peter reached at a certain distance he got distracted, and when he got distracted by the boisterous wind he became afraid and started to sink.

“But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” (Matthew 14:30 NIV)

Many of us are like Peter, we started our journey with the Lord and even though the, storms of life, come our, faith, allows us to overcome these trials, you could say to ‘walk on water’. But along the way we get distracted especially when we think the situation has gone on for too long, or we come upon big, storm. I am using the, storm, here as a metaphor for trouble. It was easy to trust God when our trials were little; but what happens when the situations seem bigger than we are able to handle? What happens when we have a category 4 storm? Do we let fear in? Or do we anticipate it with the mindset that it will elevate us to new heights?

Focusing on what’s happening around us will cause us to be afraid; afraid of losing our family, losing our jobs, our homes, or being broke and not having enough to take care of our needs. We start worrying about what is going to happen next and very soon we start to sink.

The,  storm, also bring with it floods. The water could be more dangerous than the winds.
With Irma, I was going to ride out the, storm, in my home because my house is built to withstand the winds; but as soon as they started talking about 10-15 ft. storm surges. I called my husband and said we are leaving now! I was afraid of my car being under water and I pictured me on the roof waiting to be rescued. So, I understand fear!

Joel Osteen had a message about flood waters he used the analogy of your water breaking during childbirth. That flood there signals new birth as is regarded with excitement. He also reminded us that we never know when that flood is going come. His wife Victoria water broke when she was in an elevator going somewhere that was not the hospital! It is all about perception. Ask yourself what is the good that can come out of the house and car being flooded? You get new ones of course ! Usually the insurance pays!

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

Here are five things God wants you to do if you feel like you’re sinking in a, storm.

1. Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, and stay focus.
The moment you take your eyes off the Lord, you will go under. When you focus on the wind and the waves — your circumstances — you’re going to sink, just like Peter. There will be many things happening in the world to get you distracted. Economies going under, crime and violence on the rise, people losing their jobs, accidents on the rise and so forth. These things will get you distress. Jesus Christ,  tells us that when we see these things happening, that is not the time to get sidetracked, but it is the time to look up (Luke 21:28.)

2. Do not be fearful, Jesus is with you in the, storm.
When you’re in a, storm, it is very easy to become fearful, fearful that you will not get rid of a sickness, fearful that your marriage will end, fearful that your child will die, fearful that you will not be able to pay off your debts or bills and still have enough money to survive. But when fear comes, and it will come, take authority over it and stand on the promises of God that he will always be with you. Fear comes with torment and that’s why Jesus gives us peace (John 14:27). Peace that will help you to ride out your storms.

3. Don’t let go of, faith.
Faith, is like our heavenly currency that we use to draw what we need from the spiritual realm. When you maintain your faith you will receive strength to weather the, storms of life.

4. Don’t doubt.
You don’t need great, faith, to make it through the, storms of life. You just need faith in the right person, that is, Jesus Christ. Peter started to sink when he started to doubt.

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5. Praise God.
Praise is a weapon, a very powerful one. It confuses the enemy as he cannot understand how you able facing your storms but will have a praise. When Jehoshaphat was facing a large army, he did not use swords to fight his battle, he just praised God and his enemies were totally destroyed. Even in the storm, even when you feel like you’re sinking, even when you’re scared to death — praise him all the time.

Additional Resources

Life Leadership & Success

https://myhelps.us/principle-2-the-events-in-your-life-whether-good-or-bad-work-together-for-good/

 

 

How to Heal After being Abandoned

Being, abandoned, by  a loved one cuts deeply in the heart resulting in emotional, abandonment.  It is the result of a significant person discarding you, dismissing you, devaluing you, or not acknowledging you. This type of invisible injury causes great harm to the recipient.  In fact, the term “recipient” is ironic because often the recipient receives nothing; which is the problem.

Regardless if you are, abandoned by your parents, a lover, a friend, a sibling. The feeling of, not being enough, overwhelms those who are, abandoned. No one sees it and it tends to go underground in terms of abuse. Victims simply feel empty and invisible.

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Here are the top 3 reasons for feeling, Abandoned:

  • Devalued and rejected by others
  • Abandoned, by our parents
  • Feelings of, not good enough,  because we have lack.

When the, abandonment, wound is caused by an absent parent. When one of your parents has chosen to not be in your life, this cuts deeply. There is no easy explanation to be found by those who’ve been abandoned by a parent. Some try to make the best of the situation, ignoring that fact that they don’t have this parent in their lives; but the damage is still the same.  There are life-long consequences to parental abandonment.

Children in the foster care system that have been, abandoned, by their parents never regain their self-esteem. They look are other kids who have their parents and feel worthless. They end up most time becoming promiscuous because they look for love in all the wrong places.

Some learn to cope in different ways. Some pretend it doesn’t matter; some question their worth; others may be openly angry.  With, abandonment, comes defense mechanisms.

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Abandoned, by Love

Most women who were, abandoned, end up in unhealthy relationship with narcissistic men who abuse them and, abandon, them again.  This pattern is repeated often.

Women who have been, abandoned, could be likened to a cracked vase. If you have been broken from, abandonment, then you can’t hold love, you can’t hold self-esteem, you can’t hold purpose, everything pours out of you.

It takes work to heal your cracks.  The first step in is to identify that you are broken from, abandonment.

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Identifying your, Abandonment, Feelings

Once you have identified your, abandonment, issue and have processed through some of the feelings there are some other imagery exercises you can to do heal yourself. These are described below:

  1. Identify the part of you that is hurt. This can be labeled as your, “hurt inner child.” If the source of your hurt occurred in adulthood, this does not matter because the wound of, abandonment, most likely put you in a regressive state of mind.  You have likely regressed emotionally to a younger, more helpless age. Use imagery and visualize this inner child.
  2. Now imagine the part of you that is healthy and compassionate. This part of you is going to be instrumental in your healing from being, abandoned. You must come to the rescue of your inner, hurt self by offering love, time, empathy, hope, and encouragement.
  3. In addition to the hurt, abandoned, part of yourself, identify your coping mechanisms – particularly any personas or sub-selves that act out; the part of you that is trying to compensate for the hurt experienced by the abandonment of your loved one. Identify parts of you that are trying to respond to the hurt in an unhealthy manner.
  4. Talk to your inner hurt, abandoned, child. Assure her of her value and worth. Be present for her in a real and tangible way.

In the end, no matter who has hurt you, no matter how affected you may be from the resulting injury from, abandonment, you still have a life to live. Even if you have an ache in your heart for the missing person, you can still thrive in life; find hope and love, and live well. You do this by honoring your feelings, acknowledging the loss, validating the consequences of the loss, and enjoying your life.

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Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other

webpage:  https://hypnosis.simpsonprotocol.com/hypnosis-on-the-radio

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How the, Abandonment,  wound plays out in relationships:

  • Oversensitivity to criticism or feedback
  • Overreacting to conflict
  • Becoming a pleaser
  • Anxiety and fear of the other person leaving
  • Ending relationships early before the other person has a chance to leave
  • Jealousy or suspicion that your partner will hurt, cheat, or leave even when there’s no sign of malicious behavior
  • Self-doubt, insecurity, and lack of self-worth
  • Staying in an abusive relationship for fear of being alone
  • In more extreme cases of being deeply triggered during events such as break-ups, a divorce, or a loss:one might feel a total loss of control over their emotions, hyper-reactivity, anxiety attacks, fear, insomnia, weight loss or gain, and obsessive thoughts or behavior.

An, abandonment, wound is invisible to the eye, but it leaves telltale signs in how we relate to the external world, how we feel internally and how we behave in our relationships. It can have us spend our whole lives running from perceived danger. To test someone’s love like a straw that inevitably breaks, then using their resignation as evidence we’re living in an unsafe world. It can cause us to blindly accept the bad behavior of others, ignoring our own needs and prevent us from having a strong, powerful voice.

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Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Additional Resources Abandonment

https://myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/

How to Heal Your Brokenness

https://myhelps.us/10-ways-childhood-trauma-impact-adults-in-love/

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-the-effects-of-childhood-trauma-4147640

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201706/4-ways-childhood-trauma-impacts-adults