In this podcast episode, I uncover Jesus’ surprising message on fasting. This will blow your mind! In this episode of 5 min Fridays with Life coach Myrna Young, author and self-development coach, I share Jesus’ surprising message on fasting. This message will change the way you think about fasting, and may even inspire you to take start enjoying life.
My foundational scripture for this message today is Mark 2:19: When asked why he or his disciples did not fast like John the Baptist and the Pharisees Jesus replied:
Do wedding guests mourn while celebrating with the groom? Of course not. But someday the groom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast.
The other two parables, which are similar, make the same point. The first one says you don’t put a new patch on an old garment, and the second says you don’t put new wine into an old wineskin.
In the first parable, if you put a new patch on an old garment, when the new patch shrinks due to washing, it will tear away from the older garment, making the tear worse. Similarly, new wine needs a new wineskin because as the new wine expands during the fermentation process, it stretches the wineskin. An old wineskin will burst under the pressure of new wine.
I have been talking a lot on the podcast about, intermittent fasting, but Jesus is talking about fasting by denying yourself food for longer periods of time. Jesus is saying that fasting and mourning go together.
Intermittent fasting, is not traditional fasting. Jesus is saying that when you are celebrating, when all is well, when your groom is with you, when your marriage is doing great, there is no need to fast in fact that is the time to eat because we eat at weddings we eat, drink and be merry.
He is also saying the day will come when (notice the language) he did not say if he said when the groom will be taken away and that is the time for mourning and fasting.
Today I want to change the word fasting out and replace it with feasting. What are you feasting on while your groom is with you, when all is well with your soul? How many people do not live life and have fun when everything is going well in life.
You are in a loving relationship, your groom is still with you, your children are with you, your health is with you, yet you deny yourself the pleasures of life. You work and go home, then one day you will no longer have your groom, you will no longer have your family, you will no longer have your health and that is the time for fasting and mourning; not when you should be celebrating life, when you should be feasting on the fruits of life.
Here are a few Pleasures of life you should be feasting on
1. That first sip of coffee in the morning.
2. Taking a bath.
3. Hearing the right song at the right moment.
4. The sunset.
5. A peaceful place to sit.
6. The smell of an aromatic candle.
7. Clothes fresh out of the dryer.
8. A Hot Fudge Sundae (or equally decadent dessert of your choice).
9. Receiving an unexpected compliment.
10. A hot shower after a long day.
11. Receiving a letter – yes, a handwritten letter – that’s not a bill.
Jesus also responded that we don’t put new wine in old skins because when the new wine ferments it will burst the old skin.
He is also telling us that we need to change our ways change our mindset, renew your mind.
If you try to put new information in an old mindset you are going to have a problem. So, take a look at your fruit. If you don’t have the fruit that you want, then you need to start changing your wineskin, your mindset.
That new mindset could be I am going to live until I die. I am going to start feasting on the abundance this life has to offer, because the day is going come to an end, then I will experience loss and mourning and thus the need for fasting, but not today.
Thanks for tuning into this weeks episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna
Jason Redman, retired Navy SEAL shares life changing advice to beating life’s ambushes. Jason was ambushed in battle and shot 8 times including on round to the face. Jason believes he survived this ambush by tapping into his, overcome mindset. In this episode Jason teaches the difference between:
Retired Navy SEAL Lieutenant Jason Redman electrifies audiences around the world with his high-energy presentations on leadership, failure, redemption, catastrophic injury, and his breathtaking journey to “overcome all” in the aftermath of wartime enemy ambush and in the face of what he calls life ambushes during the years that followed.
During his 21-year Navy career, Jason spent 11 years as an enlisted SEAL and 10 years as a SEAL officer leading teams in combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. Today he puts his vast experience and expertise to work as a speaker, coach, author, and trainer, helping individuals, teams and organizations of all types and sizes to define and implement lasting change, even in the wake or face of failure, crisis and adversity.
He’s lived through it all at the highest level in his Navy SEAL career: From failures as a young leader that resulted in him almost being kicked out of the SEAL teams, to redemption and leading teams in intense combat operations in Iraq, to being shot eight times, including a round to the face, and nearly dying during an enemy ambush, Jason has lived the OVERCOME Mindset he now teaches others. He has done an incredible job of taking these lessons learned and making them relatable to teams, businesses, and organizations around the world.
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Myrna: Can you share your story of walking into an ambush as a Navy Seal and the, overcome mindset, you had to survive being shot several times.
Jason: I’m super blessed individual. I just could not survive that ambush that night without some kind of a miracle. We’ll talk about the, overcome mindset, and how that translates to other aspects of life later in the interview. It was an intense night, it was a night at the very end of our deployment as, Navy SEALs. One of our jobs is something we call direct action. We go after the mid-level and high level leaders across the battlefield.
That was one of our jobs, when I was in Iraq and we were tracking both outside in and through leadership across with my troops were focused on the weapon western province of Iraq. So, a lot of people are familiar with Iraq, a very dangerous place. We were actually based out of Volusia and tracking leaders. On September 13, 2007, we went after the number one leader for the outside organization in the Anbar Province, the western province of Iraq. A pretty dangerous guy.
We’ve been tracking all deployment. He had been responsible for and ran multiple sniper cells, IV shells, attack cells. He had shot down a Marine Corps helicopter in the fall of 2006. Killing the whole crew on board and they lost five individual and run out of the building across the street.
So, on this night we got orders that he was at this place. We got there and even though there was no one there we noticed some suspicious activity in the building a few yards away. My team leader said hey, I want you to take your team, you know, walk these individuals down let’s find out who they are in question. And make a long story short, our enemy leader had been in the first house that we were in right now.
He had moved to the house that was about 150 yards away that we were now moving on and his security detail and shut off a very, very well staged enemy ambush we estimate about 15 shooters with two large machine guns and my team and I walked right into this ambush.
My medic, a fellow Navy seal, took a round of bullets right below the knee which almost took his leg off. One of our other guys ran forward to grab him and tried to move him back behind us. There was kind of a bar, there was one tree and a large like John Deere tractor tire and they pull and drag our medic and himself back.
He himself was shot three times while doing this. I was out front and I was trying to shoot and lay down fire. It was at this point I had both machine guns turned on me and I was hit eight times between my body armor and my body I took two rounds in the left elbow which in the moment I thought it shot my arm off.
I took rounds off my weapon and my right-side plates. I turned around to see what was happening with my team and that’s when I caught around in the face. That hit me right in front of the ear. Travel through my face took off my nose, blew out my right cheekbones, vaporized my oval floor, broke all the bones in my face and knocked me out. I was pinned down in front of my guys. They continue to fight the enemy. There’s this very intense gunfight occurring with me pinned down on the ground and had literally bullets traveling around me.
I came to probably we don’t know the timeline. We know the entire gunfight lasted about 40 minutes. So, when I woke up after about 10 mins, I realized that was in a really bad situation. I called out to my team leader and he realized Holy smokes, you know, Red still alive, and they started to extract me. I owe my life to my teammates. I owe my life to an Air Force aircraft called an AC 130 gunship that brought in the closest fire mission. Meaning they brought rounds in from the aircraft to the ground at military speeds. My team leader did an amazing job coordinating this in between fire and ran forward and got me and hold me back to where they were about a tourniquet on my mangled arms really saved my life.
But the whole time this was happening. There were several things and we’ll come full circle now to a little bit of the, overcome mindset. I knew I had lost a lot of blood. I’d lost a lot of blood between my arm and my face and my injuries. And we go through a lot of, trauma medicine, and special operations training. We’re probably trained up to the level of a patient, emergency medical technician that would ride around an ambulance. I knew all the signs. I knew that I was going to what we call, hypovolemic shock, from blood loss. I was struggling to breathe.
In our last moments we think only of our loved ones
And in final moments, I was still pinned down and I started to think that I may die here, I was dying. I was I was literally bleeding out and dying. And there were several things that went through my mind when I was lying there dying but not once did I think about stuff. You know in this life we’re all focused on stuff and trust me I like stuff. You know, I love my house. I love you know some of the nice things we have. But I also recognize every day that all that stuff can be gone in an instant. The people you love are all you’re going to care about in the final moments in your life, because that’s all I thought about.
I thought about my wife and kids and how I would do anything to have another moment just to say I love you. And it was at that point that I also I called out to God. I really need help. I need strength. And that enabled me to have some strength which I can’t explain. But I will tell you this, this thought popped into my head in that moment and the thought was this. Stay awake to stay alive.
And if you’ve ever been severely injured, or something bad has happened you reach a point where physiologically your body wants to shut down and you will become extremely fatigued. And that’s what happened. I wanted to go to sleep. I wanted to just let go and go to sleep, but I know I had to stay awake to stay alive and I knew that if I made it to the military hospital, I would live.
The military emergency room. I knew the statistics, from operating overseas that if our if we got our soldiers or wounded warriors to the hospital and they still had a pulse, they had a 90% chance of making it home alive. So that was my focus. You know, stay awake, stay alive, stay awake, stay alive and this stuff there’s so many nuances and stories but the bottom line is that’s exactly what happened. My teammates managed to get me on the medivac helicopter metabolic and I survived. My team leader helped me off and I walked 75 yards and got on the helicopter under my own power.
That is the, overcome mindset, and it is this mindset that says I’m not going to give in, I’m going to push until I succeed. I survived this vicious enemy ambush, but everybody gets ambushed in the life. It may not be the bullets and bombs in battle, but it is the bullets and bombs of life. And when you’re on the X and the X is what we talked about, point of attack, point in crisis, the point of the incident. We all feel as overwhelmed as if you are on a battle field with bullets flying all around you. You think you’re going to die because your marriage ended or your child died. And it is in those moments where we have the ability to drive forward and push ourselves a little further and get off that X, point of attack.
Myrna: Wow, what a story. I had to fight back tears when you talked about lying on the ground thinking you were dying and wanting one more moment with your wife and kids. Thank you for your service to the United States of America, Jason. I heard you talk about, life ambushes, and the fact that we all have about 5 and I immediately started counting mine! So, I want to talk about why you think first of all that we get five ambushes in life.
Jason: So the five ambushes came about from interviewing people and just kind of an informal poll. In order to understand what is a, life ambush, we have to break them down.
There are 3 types of, life ambushes.
There are,
micro ambushes,
mini ambushes,
major life ambushes.
I talked about the average of five those are the, major life ambushes, and the majors are devastated. They will forever leave scars forever. I’ll come back and we’ll come back full circle for the, major life ambushes.
The interesting thing, about the X, the point of attack, the point of an incident, the point of the crisis, it’s the point of any adversity, everybody in life, finds himself on the X at some point in life. Everyone walks on this X at some point. In battle, we were taught you have to get off the X, point of attack as quickly as possible because the longer you sit on the X, the harder it is to move forward.
And this is true in any aspect of your life. If it’s a, mental ambush, and you’re stuck on the action in your mind, and we all get stuck there and these are these, micro ambushes, they come every day. It’s that little voice in your head that says you’re not good enough. You’re not strong enough. You’re the wrong race, creed, color, gender, demographic, etc.
So those are my core ambushes and they come all the time. The formula is the same for all of these, you have to get off the X as quickly as possible. So, my motto I overcome and drive forward and get off that X.
The second level of Ambush is what I call a, mini ambush. And these are I find this fascinating because I meet people all the time who will they’ll use the phrase, oh, I had a bad day. And I’m fascinated with this because I’ll always say what’s the tell me about your bad day and 90% of the time when people use it. They did not really have a bad day. So, I’ve tried to erase this phrase from my vocabulary. I actually have an entire line of clothing called “No Bad days”
Maybe the loss of a loved one including the highest one, the loss of a child.
Most people we polled have about five of these, major life ambushes, in their lifetime. I’ve seen people with more. I know people that have had 10. I myself, I’m getting ready to turn 48, I’ve had four, major life ambushes. I’d love to get through life with no more.
Myrna: When I heard you speaking, I started counting my, major life ambushes.
Jason: But the here is the fact, the, major life ambushes, are devastating. And I tell people they will they will be permanent scars. They will leave permanent physical, mental, or emotional or the financial scars. And when we look back on those, major life ambushes, they will always hurt. The, minor life ambushes, and the, micro life ambushes, they’re in your head, they are schedule disruptions, a couple years later, you’ll barely remember them.
But here’s the amazing thing about, major life ambushes. I talked about this in the TED Talk. The, major life ambushes, frequently are the end of something that occurred in your life. It may be the end of a relationship, it may be the end of the job, or maybe the end of your health, your innocence. Whatever it is, oftentimes what the amazing thing is and once you develop the, overcome mindset, you’re going to figure out how to drive forward and when we figured out how to drive forward no matter how painful it is, the ones that I’ve been through, so often it becomes a new beginning.
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Every major life ambush builds an overcome mindset
And when you get to the other side of that journey when you climb through the pain and the misery and storms and the darkness, I can tell you probably 95% of the people, get to the other side saying you know it really was hard. I do not ever want to go to the gym, but it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me because I grew and got better and, major life ambushes, build us up. Every, major life ambush, no matter how painful they are, they help build an, overcome mindset. You cannot just flip a switch and suddenly have an, overcome mindset.
So when these bad things happen. I don’t want to tell you to celebrate that they happen. I know that that’s probably a stretch, but instead just lean into it and say okay, I know I have to get to the other side. I have to overcome. I have to get off the edge. Somewhere out there, the sun still shines and I will find that sunlight once again and when I do it’s going to be a new path.
I try to explain to people with, major life ambushes, a lot of times people waste a lot of time focused on I want back what I lost. I want to repair this relationship. I want my job back; I want my business back. I lost all this money and I want it back. I want the lifestyle I had before I was severely injured like me, I want my health back. And the reality is it’s gone and never coming back. We have to focus on is how do I get to my new 100% I may not be able to fix what’s broken, I embrace the open door. But you know, so many people are focused on the past. We have to focus on the future now. And how do we shape our future? And when we do that, that becomes our new path that becomes our new 100%.
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Major life ambushes always leaves clues
Myrna: that is that is so true. We are always focused on the closed door and not the open door in front of us. So, you said that, major life ambushes, leave clues. I can understand that a divorce leaves clues. You mentioned that when you walked in to the ambush on the battlefield, you noticed certain signs but you ignored them. So how does that missing the clues in an ambush in the battlefield and missing the clues of a, major life ambush, in real life? Give us the correlation.
Jason: I have an online course that I teach called The Point Man For Life course. And point men are navigators and leaders in the military. They’re very talented individuals, they get us where we need to go. You have to be, the point man, and it’s for your own life. You have to be the one that sets your course that understands where you’re going. So, these indicators are the things that many of us through normal human activity. Either choose to ignore, or, procrastinate, we do all kinds of things. I mean, I break these things down.
You know, sometimes it’s a blatant sign and I use a stop sign in my course. Like we just ignore it no different than somebody who is not paying attention. And they drive through an intersection and miss that stop sign. And they get hit by a car. Well, you know, afterwards, they’re like, yeah, you missed this stop sign. That’s, that’s a really bleak one. But it happens all the time. It happens in businesses, it happens in relationships. If your spouse is constantly saying, hey, we’ve lost our intimacy or we’re not talking as much anymore if we continue to ignore or just flat out, not pay attention to that, you are going to end up divorced. And then you say, I did not see it coming.
Myrna: Yeah, that’s one of the ones I figured out because there’s signs that the relationship is ending.
Signs of an ambush
Jason: Sometimes they’re more subtle. Sometimes they can be helped. I know a lot of people who have health issues and like, oh, this is really been bothering me, but I’m just going to ignore it. And I’m amazed by how many people will do this because they’re afraid of what could happen. And I tell people, you cannot procrastinate, deny or ignore. Those are dangerous things to do, because you’re setting yourself up for a, life ambush. I give the example of a friend who was overweight who was successful business guy, but he was overweight. He wasn’t taking care of himself physically.
The doctor was like, hey, you really need to start taking care of yourself and start working out. You need to watch your nutrition, you’re a ticking time bomb for a heart attack. And, you know, he talked to me about working out and I said, yeah, you can do this. You do that and he never really did it. And then like a year later he had a heart attack and he’s like, why did this happen? The signs were there, but no, you ignored them. And so many people do this in life.
How does situational awareness help in an ambush
Myrna: You also teach about, situational awareness. Tell us what that is.
Jason: So, I teach, situational awareness, in this society, that has to do with awareness and reaction time. We live in this world where we’re all stuck scrolling our cell phones and I can’t tell you how many people I have watched walking around, and they’re totally absorbed in that cell phone, which means they’re not paying attention to the world around them. I’m highly trained. I try to train other people up to a basic level. One of the things that we do in our, overcoming survive workshop is awareness and get out of that situation before it ever occurs.
So, you see things before they happen, you see the signs of the ambush. You are noticing the indicators before it ever develops into an ambush and you don’t allow yourself to get on the X, the point of attack. You don’t walk into that situation. So sometimes you can’t help it. And that’s where awareness and a little bit of training come in. I really encourage everybody out there to have some level of training for self-defense. I know that your target audience is women. I know there are a lot of women who are afraid of firearms. But I really encourage you learn to use a firearm.
We live in a country that whether you agree with it or not. A firearm can be the great equalizer if someone is coming after you and trying to break into your house or trying to rape or take your kids. There is a level of training that needs to exist with that and I firmly believe we should get that.
Tell us about your book The Point Man Planner. What you hope people to walk away with after getting this planner?
Jason: The Point Man Planner, came from the things that I’ve put in my life. They’re also things that I saw in the military and some of these things are interchangeable. I just use a military Special Operations term. So, the idea around this, is that there’s four-point man principles that everybody should follow.
Relentless belief in mission: This is what makes a successful point man and what makes successful Navy Seals, but also what makes anybody successful. Mission is synonymous with purpose. I know a lot of people who don’t really know who they are. The beginning of the point man planner starts with what are your values?
I mean a lot of people who don’t truly know their values, they will they will throw out the cliché values that everybody likes to throw out. Fitness, family, spirituality but they are the individual that’s never in the gym. Now they aren’t doing much with their family, they’re sure not in church. So those aren’t really their values. Your values are what drive your decision.
Have a clearly defined destination and course. Your destination is your long-term goals where do you want to go 10 years from now, where do you want to be?
What a Point Man does
Myrna: Can I interject here? That was the most one of the most beautiful things when you said that when you were in a mission, your point man pinpoints the exact location, not somewhere around a city but the exact number on the map.
Jason: Yeah, so we have to be very specific because most people are not just oh, I want to be rich. Okay, well, what does that mean? You know, I want you know, I want a big house. Okay, well, where and what is your look like? So, you must be very specific to establish because if it’s not very specific, that we can establish all the steps to get there, and that becomes our course. The course becomes all the steps required to get to where we’re going. And this is constantly changing our lives, change our hopes, tunes, our desires.
Develop the, overcome mindset: We’ve established our course, we know our mission, we have our purpose. Well, how do we avoid the ambushes or at least try and reduce them and I’m constantly checking, where are we at? Are we on course and, overcome mindset, to get off the gas because guess what? Life ambushes, are coming. I tell people you’re either in a, life ambush, you’re coming out, or there’s one on the horizon.
Conclusion
You can pick up the Point Man Planner on Amazon or you can find everything on my website www.Jasonredman.com . Follow me on social media. Every Monday I put out a video called Monday monster and it’s just positive content on preparing for, life ambushes.
In a world brimming with information and opportunities for growth, the simple yet profound mantra “If you know better do better” serves as a guiding light on the path to personal development and positive change.
Key Takeaways:
Acknowledging that you “know better” requires self-awareness and reflection.
Understanding alone is not enough; action is the catalyst for transformation.
Embracing a growth mindset and overcoming the fear of failure are essential for progress.
The first step towards personal growth and positive change is self-awareness. Acknowledging that you “know better” requires a heightened sense of awareness, where you recognize areas in your life that can be improved. This self-reflection can encompass personal habits, relationships, or even societal contributions.
Social contributions include social security contributions by employees, employers, and self-employed individuals, and other contributions whose source cannot be determined. They also include actual or imputed contributions to social insurance schemes operated by governments.
For example, smoking is a habit that many people know is detrimental to their health. The knowledge that smoking causes lung cancer is widely available, yet some individuals continue to smoke. This discrepancy between knowledge and action highlights the importance of self-awareness. By recognizing the negative impact of smoking and acknowledging that they “know better,” individuals can take the necessary steps to quit and improve their health.
While self awareness is crucial, understanding alone is not enough. Action is the catalyst for transformation. The mantra “If you know better, do better” challenges individuals to break free from the inertia of complacency and take intentional steps towards positive change.
In today’s fast-paced world, it is easy to become overwhelmed by information and remain stagnant. However, true growth and progress require action. Merely knowing what needs to be done is not sufficient; one must actively engage in the process of change. As the saying goes, “knowledge is power, if you use it.” It is through action that knowledge is transformed into tangible results. My people perish for lack of knowledge, is no longer true.
If you know better, do better: Embracing Growth Mindset
The mantra “If you know better, do better” embodies the essence of a growth mindset. A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. It is a mindset that embraces challenges, persists in the face of obstacles, and sees failure as an opportunity for growth.
In a culture where information is readily available, there is no excuse for feigning ignorance. With the abundance of resources such as books, podcasts, and online courses, individuals have the means to acquire knowledge and learn new skills. By embracing a, growth mindset, and actively seeking out opportunities for growth, individuals can continuously improve themselves and their lives.
The, fear of failure, often hinders progress. Many individuals, know better, but do not, do better, because they are afraid of failing. However, the mantra “If you know better, do better” invites us to confront this fear and take action.
Failure is not something to be feared but rather embraced as a learning opportunity. Elon Musk once said, “Failure is a learning experience. The only way to learn is by making mistakes.” Each attempt, even if it falls short of the desired outcome, brings valuable lessons and insights. By reframing failure as a stepping stone towards success, individuals can overcome their fear and take the necessary risks to achieve their, personal development goals.
Accountability: If you know better do better
Beyond personal growth, the mantra “If you know better, do better” emphasizes accountability. It challenges individuals to take responsibility for their actions and fosters a sense of accountability not only to oneself but also to the wider community and the world.
When individuals recognize that they have the knowledge and ability to make a positive impact, they become accountable for their actions. This accountability extends beyond personal spheres and contributes to the betterment of communities, societies, and the world at large. By taking ownership of their actions and striving to do better, individuals can create a positive legacy for future generations.
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Know Better Do better: Inspiring Others through affirmative action
Living by the principle of “If you know better, do better” sets an inspiring example for those around you. Your actions become a beacon, encouraging others to embark on their journeys of positive change and continuous improvement.
When others witness the transformative power of, affirmative action, they are inspired to follow suit. By leading by example and demonstrating the positive outcomes that can be achieved through knowledge and action, individuals can inspire a ripple effect of betterment in their communities and beyond.
If you Know better do better: The Ripple Effect of Betterment
The cumulative effect of individuals striving to do better creates a ripple effect that extends beyond personal spheres. It contributes to the betterment of communities, societies, and the world at large, creating a positive legacy for future generations.
When individuals embrace the mantra “If you know better, do better,” they become agents of change. Their actions, no matter how small, have the potential to create a ripple effect that inspires others to take action. This collective effort towards positive change can lead to a brighter, more enlightened future for all.
“Habit Grows Out Of Environment — Out Of Doing The Same Thing In The Same Way Repeatedly — Out Of Thinking The Same Thoughts Over And Over — And When Once Formed It Resembles Cement Which Has Sent In The Molds And Is Hard To Break.”
In Conclusion
In the tapestry of personal growth, the mantra “If you know better, do better” weaves a thread of wisdom and action. It calls us to move beyond passive awareness and embrace the transformative power of intentional, positive change. As we navigate the complexities of life, may this mantra guide our decisions, inspire our actions, and lead us toward a brighter, more enlightened future.
Your Life Theme and, personalities, shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes and the, 16 personalities types, that can compose your identity.
Introduction
John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman. He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill. That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, 16 personalities types, controls our communication.
He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are. That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions. Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.
How to identify our 16 Personalities.
John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale. That is how you read people.
Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun. I want to appease the, personalities, so when I walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down. I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.
Our, personality, as our way of expression. Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization. The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.
Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.
True, but I look at what do you like to do for fun? What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?” I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are. I am able to identify one of your, 16 personalities types, from this test.
Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You
Your Life Theme offers the, personality, framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.
You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or “Life Themes.”
These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.
These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.
These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.
While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.
They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.
Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.
The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator
An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.
According to, Myers-Briggs, theory of, personality types, people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:
Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:
Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
The 16 personalities types
The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.
The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.
The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.
The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.
All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:
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The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:
The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
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As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.
What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.
All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:
To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com
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So how does it feel to be in a relationship with someone with, adult ADHD?
Here is one woman’s story af adult adhd
I dated 4 men with, adult ADHD, or ADD. One was predominantly hyperactive; two inattentive, one likely mixed. I fall under the vagueness of “mixed” myself, which means I show characteristics of hyperactivity — the impulsiveness, the occasional non-stop talk, the rash decisions — and inattention: the fuzziness, the daydreaming, the drifting off mid-conversation.
I learned the, ADHD, tricks early on like, touching him when I needed his attention and he was working. I learned to move my fingers from his face to mine — the universal signal for eye contact — when he began to drift off.
The two inattentive men, naturally tended toward household chaos, an inability to finish projects, and a desperate need for legal stimulants.
Understanding is the key to calming the chaos in the relationship.
I’m curious about, Adult ADHD symptoms. Does kids with, ADHD, become adults with, adult ADHD?
For clarity let’s make sure people understand the acronym for, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Individuals can have, attention deficit disorder, without the hyperactivity and that disorder is ADD. Things to keep in mind about, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or, Adult ADHD, is that, yes you can have, ADHD, in childhood and about 60% of kids grow up still having the same symptoms and become, adult ADHD. One of the interesting pieces about this is that it’s important for folks not to misconstrued information about what they’re seeing the adult exhibit. Certain characteristics of, Adult ADHD, can mimic other disorders like for example Thyroid disease.
Does the 40% of kids who don’t have, adult ADHD, become cured?
Not necessarily , they could have developed coping skills to manage the, ADHD, behavior so the symptoms were minimized. They could have also learned strategies on how to behave or how to compensate for the symptoms.
What are the different types of, Adult ADHD?
When you look at the diagnostic and statistical manual that psychologists use. It gives you clarity on how, Adult ADHD, is diagnosed. There are different types 3 types of symptoms that we see in, ADHD.
Inattention
Impulse Control
Hyperactivity
We have to go through the process and can’t have people diagnosing themselves or their children or anyone else with the disorder. Sometimes you have symptoms because people don’t have appropriate amounts of minerals in their body or they might be subject to low levels of magnesium. Things like that or people might have other diseases that might mimic, ADHD symptoms, so get these things ruled out with blood work.
ADHD in adults could mean you have an, ADHD, partner.
Here is what happening in their brain. What exactly is happening in the brain to cause someone to develop symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?
The Adult ADHD brain has impaired activity in four functional regions of the brain.
Frontal Cortex. This region controls high-level functions: …
Limbic System. This region is located deeper in the brain. …
Basal Ganglia. …
Reticular Activating System.
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To test for, adult ADHD, one has to look at the functions of the brain. The neurotransmitter in the brain is affected in ADHD. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for how we organize our cognitive flexibility and being able to control ourselves and things that come into our frame of reference.
The Basal Ganglia helps to regulate communication within the brain, sending signals from one neuron to the other and is responsible for our motor control movement. The Basal Ganglia is also responsible for regulating emotional volatility and the Reticular Activating System is our major relay system. It controls the many pathways that enter and leave the brain and is responsible for arousal and consciousness.
Dr Gray who is the author of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus wrote an article in which he claims that men with, Adult ADHD, have problems committing to women because of the disorder. Do you agree with that statement?
No, not at all. I think there are other reasons that men can’t commit to women. Dr Gray is trying to give these men a pass. I would love to see his research.
Does, ADHD, medications cure the disorder?
Medications for, ADHD, are non-stimulant and stimulant meds depending on what the individual the parents would choose. I always think of other Alternatives besides the use of pharmaceuticals. I would rather use in a non-medication treatment or neuro feedback to help with symptoms of, ADHD. Bio feedback can cure the disorder, medication just masks or controls but never cures.
if you give anyone who clearly has, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, medication for 6 months and the other Bio Feedback for 6 months, you will see the difference in the treatment results.
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Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. ..That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.
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One out of ten American children have been diagnosed with ADHD,
One out of seven American women over 55 will develop dementia,
Statistics reveal a greater risk of ADHD in children of divorced parents, particularly when boys are missing the regular influence of their fathers or their mothers are unable to find happiness
Altruism is the selfless act of helping others without expecting anything in return. “It is often considered one of the defining characteristics of what it means to be human. Jesus introduces us to the, servant mindset. The servant mindset, is doing your duty and not expecting thanks or words of appreciation. This message hit home to me because I always say thanks and expect thanks. But if we are truly serving our community, we do our duty just like the servant who worked all day in the fields, then he had to prepare his masters meal and then serve him while he ate. And when his master has no more need for him then he fixes himself something to eat. He does all this without his coveting his master to say thanks.
Welcome back to the Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life, the podcast. I’m your host, life coach Myrna Young, and today on Five Minute Fridays, I want to delve into the topic of embracing the, servant mindset. It’s an interesting concept that I’ve been learning and growing in myself, as I’ve always been someone who expects thanks when I serve others. However, true Altruism is the service without expecting thanks or anything in return. Jesus teaches us that true service comes from a place of selflessness, where we serve without expecting anything in return.
In Luke 17:7-9, Jesus shares a parable about a servant who plows and tends to the sheep. When the servant comes in from the field, he doesn’t expect to be invited to sit down and eat. Instead, he is instructed to prepare his master’s supper, get himself ready, and wait on his master while he eats and drinks. Only after his master is satisfied does the servant have permission to eat and drink himself. And in this parable, Jesus emphasizes that the servant will not receive thanks for simply doing his job, because his duty is to be of service to his master.
This parable resonates with me personally, as I often find myself expecting thanks and appreciation for the work I do. For example, as the host of this podcast, I promote my guests and go out of my way to support them. However, I’ve noticed that sometimes there is silence after the show airs, with no acknowledgement or reciprocation. But I’ve come to realize that my purpose is to serve in true Altruism fashion and if I don’t receive thanks, it doesn’t diminish the value of my service.
My husband often reminds me not to expect others to pat me on the back, but to pat myself on the back instead. He shares his experience from playing football, where he would make a great play and not receive any recognition from the coach. Eventually, he learned to acknowledge his own achievements and find fulfillment in his own work, rather than relying on external validation. This is the essence of embracing a, servant mindset – finding joy and fulfillment in the act of serving through Altruism regardless of whether or not we receive thanks.
So, what does it mean to have a, servant mindset? Let’s explore the key aspects of this mindset and how they can positively impact our lives.
Selfless Service: Helping Others Without Expecting Recognition
True service is rooted in selflessness and Altruism. It’s about helping others not for recognition, but because it’s the right thing to do. As I serve you all through this podcast, my ministry is to help you transform your mind and, in turn, transform your life. I don’t expect thanks or praise for my service, because my purpose is to make a positive impact and support your growth. Embracing a, servant mindset, means focusing on the act of service itself, rather than seeking external validation and reciprocation.
Humility and Obedience: Following Without Expecting Praise
To have a, servant mindset, we must practice humility and obedience. Just as the servant in the parable follows their master’s commands without expecting praise, we too should approach our duties with humility and obedience. This means being willing to serve others and fulfill our responsibilities without seeking recognition or accolades. It’s about recognizing that our role is to serve and support others, and finding fulfillment in fulfilling that role, regardless of whether or not we receive thanks.
The Joy of Giving: Finding Fulfillment in Altruism
A, servant mindset, brings joy through giving and helping others, even if our actions are not acknowledged or appreciated. It’s about finding fulfillment in the act of giving itself, rather than relying on external validation or gratitude. For example, I find joy in giving money to those in need, even if they don’t express their gratitude. The act of giving is its own reward, and it allows us to make a positive impact in the lives of others.
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Cultivating Gratitude: Appreciating Those Who Serve Us
On the flip side of giving is gratitude. Embracing Altruism also means being grateful for those who serve us selflessly. Whether it’s a spouse who supports us or someone who goes above and beyond in their service, we should acknowledge and appreciate their efforts. It’s important to recognize that we are not the only ones with a, servant mindset, and to express our gratitude for those who serve us in various ways.
The Ripple Effect of Altruism: Inspiring Others to Serve
Embracing Altruism can inspire others to do the same. When we lead by example and cultivate a culture of kindness and generosity, it creates a ripple effect in our communities. Others see our selfless service and are inspired to follow suit. As Jesus said, someone is always watching, and our actions can inspire others to embrace a, servant mindset, and make the world a better place, one act of kindness at a time.
In conclusion, embracing a, servant mindset, as taught by Jesus in Luke 17, is a path to genuine selfless service. It reminds us that true Altruism comes from helping others without expecting accolades. By adopting this mindset, we can make a positive impact in the lives of others and create a ripple effect of kindness and generosity. So, let’s continue to serve without expecting thanks, knowing that our true reward lies in the joy of giving and the knowledge that we are making a difference in the world.
Thank you for joining me on this episode of Five Minute Fridays. Until next time, remember to embrace the, servant mindset, and continue to transform your mind to transform your life. Namaste.
Dr. Virginia “Ginger” Campbell, a physician, author, and science communicator, discusses the unconscious brain. In this episode she explains that up to 95% of the brain is unconscious, meaning that most of our brain processes are not accessible to our conscious awareness. Dr. Campbell emphasizes the importance of understanding the, unconscious brain, and it’s origins of certainty and how memory is unreliable. She also highlights the role of the body in creating our experiences and how this knowledge can make us more tolerant. Dr. Campbell’s goal is to make neuroscience accessible to all.
Welcome back to the Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life radio podcast and television show. I’m your host, Life Coach Myrna Young, and today we have a special guest in the studio, Dr. Virginia Campbell, also known as Ginger. Dr. Campbell is an author, physician, and science communicator, specializing in neuroscience. We will be diving into the fascinating topic of the unconscious and intricate workings of the brain. Welcome, Dr. Campbell!
Dr. Campbell: Thank you, Myrna. I’m excited to be here.
Myrna: We are going to have a great conversation on neuroscience and the brain, a topic that I absolutely love. The brain controls everything in our body, and understanding how it works is crucial. Dr. Campbell, could you start by explaining what you mean when you say that 95% of the brain is unconscious?
Dr. Campbell: Certainly, Myrna. When I say that 95% of the brain is unconscious, I’m referring to the fact that most of the processes of the brain are not accessible to our conscious awareness. For example, we are not aware of how our brain processes vision. Even when we know that an illusion is not real, we still see it because the processing is happening at an unconscious level. This unconscious processing is essential for many of the sophisticated processes we associate with being human.
Myrna: That’s fascinating. So, why does this matter in our everyday lives?
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The Unconscious brain: 95% of the brain process is unconscious
Dr. Campbell: Well, let’s take reading as an example. The first stage of learning how to read is decoding, which happens automatically and unconsciously. If we couldn’t learn to decode automatically, reading would be a much more challenging task. The, unconscious brain, processing of the brain allows us to perform complex tasks without having to consciously think about every step. It’s what makes us efficient and capable beings.
Myrna: That makes sense. So, it’s like our brain is constantly working behind the scenes, allowing us to navigate the world without having to consciously process every little detail.
Dr. Campbell: Exactly. Our brain is constantly processing information and making decisions without us even realizing it. It’s like having a personal assistant who takes care of all the background work, allowing us to focus on the things that require our conscious attention.
Myrna: That’s incredible. Now, let’s talk about memory. In your work, you mention that everyone’s memory is unreliable. Can you explain what you mean by that?
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Dr. Campbell: Certainly. Memory is not like a video camera that records and stores every detail of our experiences. Every time we recall a memory, our brain recreates it, and during this process, it can introduce new information or distort the original memory. This means that our memories are not always accurate representations of what actually happened. It’s important to understand that memory is not a perfect record of our past, but rather a reconstruction influenced by various factors.
Myrna: That’s mind-boggling. So, even though we remember something vividly, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it happened exactly as we remember it?
Dr. Campbell: That’s correct. Our memories can be influenced by our emotions, beliefs, and even external suggestions. It’s not uncommon for two people to remember the same event differently. This is why it’s crucial to approach memory with caution and not rely solely on our recollections when making judgments or accusations.
Myrna: That’s a powerful insight. It reminds me of the saying, “There are three sides to every story: yours, mine, and the truth.” Our memories are subjective and can be influenced by various factors.
Dr. Campbell: Absolutely. It’s essential to approach memory with humility and recognize that our recollections may not always be accurate. This understanding can lead to more tolerance and open-mindedness in our interactions with others.
Understanding the unconscious brain makes us more tolerant
Myrna: That brings me to my next question. You mentioned that understanding the brain makes us more tolerant. How does that connection work?
Dr. Campbell: The connection between understanding the brain and tolerance lies in the realization that certainty has unconscious origins. Our brain creates a feeling of certainty, even when we may be wrong. This feeling of certainty can lead to rigid beliefs and a lack of openness to other perspectives. However, when we understand that our certainty is not always based on objective truth, we can become more tolerant of differing opinions and be open to considering alternative viewpoints.
Myrna: That’s a powerful insight. So, by recognizing that our certainty is not infallible, we can cultivate a sense of humility and empathy towards others who may hold different beliefs or perspectives.
Dr. Campbell: Exactly. It’s about recognizing the limitations of our own certainty and being open to the possibility that we may be wrong. This can lead to more constructive conversations and a greater appreciation for the diversity of human experiences.
Book Are You Sure Unconscious Origins of Certainty
Dr. Campbell: My inspiration for writing this book came from the work of Robert Burton, whose research on certainty and the unconscious mind deeply resonated with me. I wanted to share these ideas with a broader audience and make neuroscience accessible to people from all backgrounds. The book explores the unconscious origins of certainty and delves into the fascinating world of the brain and how it shapes our experiences.
Myrna: That sounds fascinating. What do you hope readers will take away from your book?
Dr. Campbell: My ultimate goal is to expand people’s understanding of the brain and its influence on our lives. I want readers to recognize the fallibility of memory, the power of unconscious processes, and the importance of tolerance and open-mindedness. By gaining a deeper understanding of the brain, we can navigate the complexities of life with more compassion and empathy.
Myrna: That’s a powerful message. Thank you, Dr. Campbell, for sharing your insights and expertise with us today. It has been a pleasure having you on the show.
Dr. Campbell: Thank you, Myrna. It was my pleasure to be here.
Conclusion
In conclusion, our conversation with Dr. Virginia Campbell has shed light on the unconscious and intricate workings of the brain. We have learned that the majority of our brain’s processes are unconscious, allowing us to perform complex tasks effortlessly. Memory, too, is not a perfect record of our past, but a reconstruction influenced by various factors. Understanding the fallibility of memory can lead to more tolerance and open-mindedness in our interactions with others. Dr. Campbell’s book, “Are You Sure: The Unconscious Origins of Certainty,” delves deeper into these topics, providing readers with a greater understanding of the brain and its impact on our lives. By embracing the complexities of the brain, we can cultivate empathy, compassion, and a deeper appreciation for the diversity of human experiences. The journey of understanding our brain is ongoing, and it holds the potential to transform our lives and the world around us.
In this podcast episode, we’re diving into the topic of self care. This is a topic that can be challenging for many of us, but it’s essential if we want to feel at home in our bodies. We’re going to discuss different ways to develop a strong connection with our body, and learn how to accept and love ourselves without perfection. This isn’t a easy journey, but it’s one that is worth taking if we want to feel happy and fulfilled in our bodies and practice, self love.
Taylor Elise Morrison turned bad at self care and being firmly convinced of every human’s potential into a career. She is the founder of the media company Inner Workout and the author of a book by the same name. Recently, named one of Fortune’s 10 innovators, Shipping the Future of Health. Taylor is tired of aspirational wellness. Instead, she builds businesses, content, and experiences that make well-being and personal development more accessible.
You’re just as likely to see Taylor facilitating a workshop at a Fortune 100 company as you are to see her talking about TikTok and body image with a high school class. Wherever she goes, Taylor is sure to use her coaching, mindfulness, and movement training to meet people where they’re at and offer actionable steps towards creating a world without burnout. Yes, that’s awesome. When you practice self care, then you should be creating your inner world without burnout.
Myrna: So Taylor, it’s an interesting niche. Can you tell me how you got on the self care path? I am in your bio. You started off by saying that you were once bad with self care. How did you go from that to be an author of the book, The Inner Workout?
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Taylor: Yeah, and I would still say doing, self care, practicing, self care, isn’t something that comes naturally to me. I always like to be upfront about that because I think it’s really easy to see someone who’s written a book or talks about a topic and be like, well, they’re so far ahead. It could never possibly be me. And I really came into this work because I needed it. I was in a place where I was working full time. I had a business on the side. I was volunteering with multiple nonprofits. I was planning a wedding. I was trying to have a social life. And I kept feeling overwhelmed and burned out.
And I was approaching, self care, the way that I had seen it approached in a lot of spaces in the mainstream. But I wasn’t necessarily feeling cared for in my daily life. In fact, I kept going back to this place of feeling burned out and overwhelmed. And so really through my own journey of figuring out what it looked like to actually feel cared for, that led me to this work of Inner Workout. And now I feel like it keeps me honest. I’m not perfect at it, but I have tools I can continue to use.
Myrna: So how are we using the word, self care? What is your definition of it? And when you use that label, what are you meaning?
Taylor: Yeah, the definition that we use both in the book and in the company and our workout is that self care is listening within and responding in the most loving way possible. So it really shifts self care from an item on your to do list to a continuous conversation that you’re having with yourself.
Myrna: Okay, I get it. So what were you bad at? You said that you were pretty bad with self care and you still struggle with it. So are you bad with the conversation with yourself? Or are you bad with scheduling it? Are you bad with a list or give us an example of someone that’s listening so that they can identify with what we’re talking about.
Taylor: Yeah, well, if we bring it back to that, definition of self care, as listening within and responding in the most loving way possible, I’ve struggled with both pieces of that equation and the people that I work with tend to struggle with one or both of those pieces. So in the beginning, a lot of it was the listening within understanding what’s going on for me beneath the surface, not what people are telling me to care about, not what is the trendy topic, but listening to me being connected to my own inner voice, my own inner wisdom. So that’s one part of the equation.
The other piece is responding with love. So it’s one thing to understand I’m feeling overwhelmed or I feel anxious in these situations or I’m doing this thing that I no longer feel aligned or connected to. It’s quite another to respond by having a conversation or by reprioritizing how you’re spending your time or by making an adjustment. So a lot of people need to start their journey with learning how to listen within. But then it gets into the, okay, loving response. How can I use the time, the resources available to me to give myself whatever it is that I need?
Myrna: Okay. All right. Okay. So I’m glad I dug a little deeper because yeah, we need to put the, you know, the proper label on what we’re talking because, you know, anybody that’s listening with when they say self care, you might think, okay, all right. So I’m going to schedule time to maybe go to the gym or for meditation or for, you know, going and get my nails and my pedicure. And instead of caring for others, you’re caring for yourself.
You’re scheduling time to care for yourself. But what your work seems to be focused on, and that’s basically why you wrote the book and then you have the company, the inner workout. You’re talking about the inner self care where if, let’s say, you know, I always like to dig deep so people can actually grab it. So let’s say that, like you just talked about, you were, you were working, let’s say, nine to five, doesn’t mean nine to five, but let’s say you’re working nine to five.
Let’s say that you got a side hustle, a business on the side. You’re volunteering at, you know, non-profit so that maybe you can help your business on the side or your career because that’s your focus. And then you’re saying you’re planning a wedding. So you are burning out and you have to care for yourself to say, hey, maybe I need to cut out some things out of this or so that’s where we’re going with this conversation.
Taylor: That was part of it. And I think so one of the themes that we talk about is these, five dimensions of well-being, physical, energetic, mental and emotional wisdom and bliss. So when I’m talking about, self care, and doing the inner work, some of that, yes, is having conversations with yourself, doing more, doing less things that are really internal that no one else notices. But then some of those are external things.
Like for me, every morning it’s a non-negotiable for me that I move my body, but I’m not overly prescriptive of what that looks like. So this morning I had a late night last night, I had to take a family member to the emergency room. And so this morning when I checked in and said, okay, what do I need in terms of movement? This morning it was to walk for 20 minutes on my treadmill. Tomorrow I might ask myself that same question and it might be that I do yoga or I do cardio boxing.
So what my work around, self care, is really trying to do is to get you to the point where you were stepping in to your own self expertise. You’re really understanding what you need and you’re willing and able to give it to yourself to the best of your abilities using the resources that you have. A lot of times when I see people approaching self care, it’s very, I read a study or I read an article that said meditation is good and you should meditate for 20 minutes.
So I’m going to meditate for 20 minutes and I have to do it that way instead of viewing it as, okay, I got some new information. Meditation might be something that’s good for me. Let me try it out. Let me understand what feels good, what feels difficult, what are different types of meditation that I can try. So again, it’s less about I need to do this thing. I need to schedule this thing a lot of times at a very surface level and more about being in conversation with yourself and acknowledging that you are a human who is a part of nature who is going to shift and change. So as you continue to have that conversation with yourself, the ways that you care for yourself may shift and change over time, will shift and change.
Myrna: I love that. I love that. Yes. I love when I dig deep. It’s the coaching me. All right. Well, you just said a couple of things just now. So since it’s been introduced, let’s go there. Let’s talk about each of the 5 dimensions of, self love.
The dimensions of self care
Taylor: So there’s five dimensions of, self love, that are really fundamental to the work of, inner workout, as a company and fundamental to the book. That’s a lot of the structure of the book is reviewing these five dimensions and then there’s 14 sub dimensions. So I was first introduced to the concept that inspired the five dimensions of wellbeing. First there is the, physical dimension.
When I was going through my yoga teacher training and I was introduced to this yoga concept of the Koshas that eventually inspired the five dimensions of wellbeing. So when we’re talking about these dimensions, it really gives language and reminds us that there are multiple pieces and facets of us.
Another thing that I see really regularly when people are talking about self-care in the mainstream is that it tends to be pretty surface level and it tends to primarily focus on our physical body.
Then there’s the, energetic dimension, that looks at your ability to support yourself through and support your wellbeing through your breath. And then also looks at the way that energy moves throughout your daily life. The example I often give is we have all had the experience where we have a conversation and we’re so energized after that conversation. It like gave us energy. We’ve also had the experience, I’m guessing, I’ve definitely had this experience where I leave a conversation afterwards and I’m just feeling so drained.
Myrna: That’s happening all the time. Negative energy from the other person. Very few of us get the positive energy
Mental and emotional dimension of self care and self love
Taylor: Then there’s the mental and emotional sub-dimension, which looks at the way that we are using our brains, the way that we’re able to process and express our emotions. And that’s supported by the foundation of sleep, because sleep doesn’t just affect our physical bodies. It also literally affects our ability to think and to process and to verbalize.
Then there’s the, wisdom dimension, which is about connecting to our inner wisdom in the present moment and taking aligned action on those insights. Similar to what I was saying when I was talking about the definition of self-care is listening within and responding with love. Sometimes we can hear from our inner voice, we have that gut feeling or we have that feeling in our heart. And we’re like, we have a sense of what we should do or what we shouldn’t do.
And then the final dimension of wellbeing is about bliss, which is a seat of connection to the truest, the fullest expression of yourself, connection to community, and connection to something bigger than you, however you define that connection. So those are the five dimensions of wellbeing. And I touched briefly on some of the sub-dimensions. And so when we’re looking at care, this model really helps you holistically pinpoint what part of me might be needing care right now.
Myrna: Awesome. All right. So yeah, you’re also an entrepreneur. We talked about your side hustle and you’re, the founder of, the inner workout. So let’s talk about self-care now when you’re an entrepreneur. Because when you’re an entrepreneur, it is hard. I started my entrepreneurial journey as a limousine operator, years ago in Canada. And, and it was like a 24 hour job. People will call you at four in the morning, they want to go to the airport and stuff like that. So a lot of entrepreneurs don’t have time for the physical self-care, much less the mental and emotional self-care. So how do you teach your, your inner workout community?
How entrepreneurs can practice self care
Taylor: And I would actually push back on that, that entrepreneurs don’t have time for, self-care, because what I find often is that when people say they don’t have time for self-care, that’s not true. We can find those pockets of time for self care. It may be a minute in between calls, or it may be you’re in the car on the way to your next client meeting and you take some time to check in.
But what I would really encourage for entrepreneurs is to start noticing the pockets of time that you have, using them to do something, even if it’s just like, what do I need? I need three deep breaths. I need to say three things that I’m grateful for. I need to just stand up and stretch really quick because I’ve been sitting. So noticing those pockets of time, using them, and then celebrating whatever care you’re able to give to yourself.
Myrna: Tell us about your book Inner Work-out, why did you write it?
Taylor: I wrote the book because not everyone can afford coaching, not everyone can afford to go through a course or a workshop. But the book is in libraries. The book is only $20. And that’s a lot more affordable way to begin this work for yourself than some of the other offerings. So it’s also a way to make my work more accessible to more people.
What I want people to get out of it is, I keep going back to the feedback that I love. It lights me up when people are like, oh, I never thought of, self care, this way. I felt like Taylor was talking to me and I felt like I could actually do this.
So if people see themselves in this book and feel like there is at least one thing, and I promise that will be way more than one thing that they can get out of it, then I’ve done my job. You have 14 sub dimensions. Yeah, there’s a lot in there and the book really expands on this resource that is free and will remain free, called the Take Care Assessment that measures our wellbeing across the five dimensions and the 14 sub dimensions.
And then it gives you this PDF report based on your results and gives you sample practices to get started. So the book really encourages you to take the assessment to start. And then you can read it like a choose your own adventure and be like, oh, I need some work on the embodiment sub dimension of the physical dimension.
Conclusion
Tell our readers how they can get a copy of your book, your website, your social media handles so they can follow you.
Taylor: So if you head to innerworkout.co, there’s a button right there that will show you all the places you can get the book. There’s also a button right below it that links you to the self care assessment. So if you go to our website, top two resources are right there. And I’m not super active on social media. But I’m on Instagram as Taylor Elyse Morrison. But honestly, the best way to stay connected with us is through our self care Sundays newsletter and by listening to the Inner warm up podcast.
Well, listen, guys, thank you for tuning into the Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life radio podcast and television show. If you’re listening on iTunes, we’d love for you to rate and review. If you’re watching this on YouTube, I would love for you to subscribe. Until next time, Namaste.
In this post, Brandi Mechele debunks 4 commonly-held beliefs about fulfillment and success. Brandi shares that if we can loosen up our grip on these beliefs, we can begin to experience more fulfillment and success in our lives.
Brandi is an intuitive and empowerment coach who spends her time guiding others and facilitating energy healing focusing on building the subconscious capacity. She has extensive experience working with high achieving female entrepreneurs, helping them align with financial success while staying through to their values and purpose. Her clients might initially come to her to scale their business and make more money, but they leave with a deeper sense of fulfillment within their lives on a holistic level.
Myrna: Can you share your backstory, what led you to begin this work? When did you notice a lack of fulfillment in your own life?
Brandi: I was raised as many people are to be very goal oriented. My parents were amazing in helping me to chart my course and set lots of goals, and I was very fortunate to be someone who excelled at many things; so, I had an impactful career in the corporate world. I escalated to being a VP covering the United States and Canada. I was a national caliber athlete in college and tried out for the Olympics and so I realized that I had checked all these boxes. I live in an amazing city, in a home of my dreams with a family. I had always had this idea that if you checked all the boxes, achieved all your goals that happiness would be kind of the outcome and unfortunately that’s just not true.
I think many people come to realize that they’ve had the success that they’ve dreamed of and not been able to align any of with this inner fulfillment and inner purpose, and so I took a step back and said you know what’s missing. I concluded that happiness needs to be its own goal, it needs to be its own purpose in your life, and that when you focus on happiness as a goal versus an outcome, that’s really when you align with your purpose and find and find true fulfillment.
That’s when I took a pivot in my life and got to the place where I am here today with you.
Myrna: I’ve heard this story so many times, in fact my very first coaching client when I became a coach was someone with a similar story to yours. She wasn’t looking for happiness she was looking for this inner fulfillment and she quit her job and became a coach because most people get more fulfillment when they serve.
I want to circle back to when you said that happiness shouldn’t be an outcome of a goal that happiness should your only goal. I can’t leave that alone so how do we how does someone listening set the course to have happiness be their goal?
Brandi: I believe fundamentally that when you have high Achievers that it’s really easy to make happiness a goal because they’re used to aligning to goals and really knocking it out of the park. So through my own work with myself which took place over many years prior to becoming a coach, developed a four-step process that I call B.A.S.E and I think it’s foundational to everyone’s life.
B – is about beliefs. What beliefs do you have? Especially the ones that are limiting in nature and how have you gotten to that place as it pertains to happiness. The reason I use happiness versus fulfillment is because I think that you have to be happy to be fulfilled. If you’re not happy, if you’re fulfilled you’ll always be happy and if you’re unhappy you’ll never be fulfilled.
So happiness is oftentimes easier for people to align to than fulfillment because fulfillment feels so big like what is my purpose, what am I meant to do. But if we think of life as these moments and every single moment we’re seeking happiness and ultimately we’ll live this really full life that has a sense of purpose, has the service that you mentioned.
So the B really is about like what are those beliefs that are precluding that from happening.
Are in alignment for happiness
A – is alignment, vibrational alignment. What does happiness look like to you like oftentimes you ask people that question and they just don’t know, they’re like I don’t know what makes me happy. They might think you know if I get married I’ll be happy, if I have a big house I’ll be happy, it’s usually types of goals.
What does it take for you to be aligned? So we spend some time around that and then self-awareness really because ultimately we are co-creating our reality in every single moment. I think oftentimes we talk about manifestation as this idea of like I’ll manifest a husband, a house, weight loss. I’ll manifest all of these things, but when you take a step back from that and realize that your entire life is a manifestation not just the good things and then you really take back your own power.
S – Self- awareness because we create situations that pulls us out of homeostasis. We return to that same place over and over again and so that’s really what the self-awareness allows us to do, because once we create awareness we can move out of searching to really having kind of this path to our our destiny.
E – is about, emotional regulation, and that really is the biggest of them all, any moment of unhappiness is really correlated to this origin story that we have. Emotional regulation, is a term generally used to describe a person’s ability to effectively manage and respond to an emotional experience. There are times in our lives when we were probably really little where we were given these ideas about who we were. Our identity and how we showed up in the world and oftentimes we’re looping around those situations. It can be Big T trauma it can be Little T trauma, but the goal is really to keep the memory of our experiences of our childhood.
So I believe that B.A.S.E is foundational to our lives and once we are able to harness kind of those four pillars we’re really going to Skyrocket from there and live a life that’s a good path
Myrna: I love it but as I’m listening to you I remember I’ve done lots of episodes on happiness including the happiness formula. Everybody’s end goal in life is to be happy and you’re right it’s a little different from fulfillment.
Fulfillment vs happiness
Brandi: I was happy, I had the husband of my dreams, I had this beautiful child, I’d won many many awards in my corporate career, I always ran sales teams and I never finished below the top 15. So I had this body of work that was everything I ever dreamed of, I was a little girl from Detroit so I didn’t have this idea that my life could be so big and so vast.
I sat there in my happiness and I said but there’s still something missing.
Myrna: That happens to so many successful people. You said in your bio that people come looking for money because they believe it will bring them happiness but find fulfillment instead.
Brandi: Success doesn’t equal happiness.
Myrna: I’m reading a book now by Eckhart Tolle called The Power of Now and Then in there he talks about goals. Goals in clock time and psychological goals. Clock goals is just saying by the time I’m 30 I’m going to be married. That means that your happiness or fulfillment is tied to this goal. A, psychological goal, is always moving. The target is always moving so that’s that’s one way to put it, but you hit the nail right on the head. Happiness is fleeting.
Beliefs and self worth
Myrna: How do you teach your clients to find this happiness end goal?
Brandi: B.A.S.E is the foundational practice around beliefs. Two of the beliefs you have to have is that you are worthy of having the life that you’re seeking, and so say to people all the time that if you show me your life, I’ll show you what you think you’re worthy of having. So self-worth is like really pretty straightforward.
Myrna: So let’s circle back to a couple of things, you’re correct self-worth and self-love they’re two big things that we package them together here for Simplicity; but self-worth and self-love is what the what has been communicated to them and it’s usually in childhood or early adulthood. Somebody looked at you and and called you ugly and you carry around this beliefs that you are ugly all your life.
Those are great practices to build your happiness capacity as well as you know building your your self-worth and your self-love so so that’s awesome all right so let’s focus a little bit now on um some of the, limiting beliefs, that, black women, have that stops them from feeling fulfilled?
Brandi: Specifically in communities where black or brown communities you’ll find that you have three generations that are in the same Financial circumstances. Nobody breaks out and I believe one of the reasons to show us about mindset is because in order for you to break out you have to have a different mindset, you have to have a different set of beliefs.
Having the right mindset for success
You have to have the mindset of I want to be successful. It’s all about mindset and when you get the mindset right then you start challenging the beliefs. You’re challenging beliefs that says women can never do this.
Myrna: I was born poor and I know what a, poverty mindset, is. If you have a, poverty mindset, you really can never be wealthy because even if you have the money you’ll still be rich with a, poverty mindset. My whole work, my whole philosophy is about changing your mindset because once you change your mindset, you can have your dreams become a reality. The Bible teaches do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Conclusion
Tell us about your B.A.S.E coaching program and your framework. How can listeners get in touch with you talk about your website your social media handles.
Brandi: I appreciate that Myrna, I publish a free journal on the first and 15th every month and you can find that on my website www.brandimechele.com I am just on the precipice of launching a group coaching program and you can also go to my website and sign up there to be informed about that group coaching. If you were interested in working with me one-on-one or with the membership coaching and then if you were interested in working with me one-on-one or in the group you can also find that on my website so and all my handles are @Brandi Mechele on Instagram as well as on Facebook so I’d love to connect with your listeners and hear from them.
Please sign up for Brandi’s 4-week program & her container program here:”
Many people think of the, subconscious mind, as a passive force, but that’s not true. The subconscious mind is actually one of the most powerful parts of your brain, and it can help you achieve anything you set your mind to. In this podcast episode, Kimberly Friedmutter shares with you some of the techniques that you can use to access and use this power to transform your life. If you’re interested in living your dreams, and transforming your life for the better, then be sure to watch this download this podcast! By implementing the techniques I share, you can achieve anything you desire!
When Hollywood has a problem, Kimberly Friedmutter solves it. Kimberly Friedmutter CHT and hypnotherapist to the stars count Hollywood A-listers, politicos, CEOs, and titans of industry as her clients. She connects them to their subconscious to get what they truly want out of life, leading them to health, wealth, and, yes! even finding lost items and the best parking spaces!
But Kimberly says living up to your dreams isn’t reserved for the exceptionally talented or lucky. Everyone has the birthright to “Expect the Exceptional,” and the amazing force to make it a reality—hidden deep “below” the conscious mind.
Myrna: How do you teach your clients to tap into the power of the, subconscious mind, and live the life of their dreams?
Kimberly: What I love about the, subconscious mind, is that many large corporations across the world use your subconscious for their benefit with subliminal messages in Ads. There is nothing wrong with using subliminal advertising, however even the fun ones like Snickers bar that says it satisfies. To the subconscious mind this message is called an embedded command. It’s telling your subconscious when you walk past at the grocery store that Snickers is oh so satisfying.
Myrna: Dr Joe Dispenza called out the shingles commercials for the same subliminal programming. The shingles Ads tell you that if you had the smallpox, you’ve got the shingles virus so you should run out right away and get the vaccine because you don’t want to get these horrible and painful blisters and it works. I ran out and got the shingles vaccine and so did millions of people. So, the question was so how do you teach your clients to program their own subconscious mind and not necessarily from the external sources like the commercials and things like. How do you teach them to tap into their, subconscious power?
What is subconscious power
Kimberly: Well first I have them read the book “Subconscious Power” which explains that and secondly, I am really making them aware that we’re all double-minded. We have the, conscious mind, and the, subconscious mind, and so some people just think of intuition and gut, they don’t really think that the, subconscious mind, is the primary working system in the brain as far as habits, continuity, memories emotions all the things that that are the touchy-feely things that make us basically who we are. It’s the you inside of you that makes you different from me. It is that subconscious part of the mind how we express ourselves all those things.
So when I explain it that the subconscious is highly enacted when you’re driving down a road and your Autopilot brain takes over and you end up at your destination and can’t remember driving there. We all get lost in the trance of the subconscious mind. It all is a very important part of the human experience in the sense that we go into trance many times a day and the biggest trance we go into of course is known as sleep, which I call incubation.
Myrna: Can we access the subconscious mind with hypnosis?
Kimberly: So to be clear hypnosis and hypnotherapy has to do with the how in touch you are with your own intuition and gut as opposed to like I think in 2024 I’m gonna win the lottery. I don’t work on the sidekick Clairvoyantclairaudient Clairsentient although I’m fascinated and have plenty of clients that do but mine is really about your, subconscious mind, how it benefits you.
Conscious mind vs subconscious mind
Myrna: How do we send information to our, subconscious minds, from the, conscious mind?
Kimberly: So, the, conscious mind, gets in the way, it’s your daytime practical planner. I need to be at the soccer field at three, I need to pick up Johnny at four that kind of thing; so, the, subconscious mind, is handling everything else. The, conscious mind, is your assistant and then the, subconscious mind, is the real doer. The, subconscious mind, doesn’t need to be trained, it’s a matter of listening to it and paying attention to it.
Myrna: So, let’s answer the question do you help your clients to download the information to their subconscious minds from the conscious mind? I was talking about contrast, this is something you see in the world that you want, so you tell your, subconscious mind, to bring it to you.
Kimberly: What you’re doing is you’re actually clearing space for that thing to happen. In the book I teach you how to hypnotize yourself. I give you example after example of self-hypnosis and all the hacks of how to do that so it was very important that people had this information to go on and be magnificent. I also teach some super effective subconscious raising exercises to help reduce our stress, improve sleep, overcome addiction, get fit, and achieve career goals.
In the book I give more of those type of exercises so can use your inner mind to create the life you’ve always wanted. It’s just the, conscious mind, creating the life that you’ve always wanted. You can listen to it on Audible it’s available in bookstores Nationwide on Amazon.
Myrna: Kimberly this was this is an excellent conversation. I love the, subconscious mind, so I will definitely go and get your book on Audible because that my preferred way to consume books. Tell our listeners know how they can connect with you, you’ve got some courses, talk to us about your website your social media handles etc.
Kimberly: So “Subconscious Power: use your inner mind to create the life you’ve wanted always wanted” is available at all bookstores, retailers it’s available online, it’s available of course on Amazon and Audible and in paperback and hardcover, any way you want to receive the information. My website is www.Kimberly freedmutter.com. Everything’s on the website including ordering the book through any of those retailers and also my Instagram. If you want to say hello because I love to see you and follow you back @ Kimfriedmutter also for Twitter.
What “The Matrix” the movie was trying to show is that we’re inside of a game, we’re, consciousness, inside of the, game of life. And so, our reality is a merging of the, game of life, outside the body. When Noe realized he could control the game he says, why don’t I change it? Why don’t I change the rules? Why don’t I change the way I interact with it? Why don’t I populate it? And that is where he’s able to start to control his reality, and create his own matrix. We can all do the same thing.
Alana Aviel is a guide to Mastering the Creation of your Reality. Alana Aviel of AKIATA is an Oracle, Channel, Teacher, and Spiritual Guide/Activator working primarily in the Quantum Realm. Following a powerful near-death experience, Alana has humbly stepped fully into her service as a guide and teacher in the Akasha and assists in total obliteration of old paradigm patterns and limitations to being. Her work focuses on identifying the cues of one’s reality and activating our natural powers as the creator of our Reality to live an aware and empowered life.
Alana: I was in a motorcycle accident where I was in a coma and have a severe brain injury. It was actually the conclusion of one, soul’s journey, and the initiation of my soul’s journey. So that was the start of my adventure. And it’s what’s called a, walk-in soul, experience. So where one soul kind of says, okay, I’m ready to conclude my journey here on Earth, and it creates an opportunity for another soul to kind of hop in and continue the journey.
Myrna: Take us on a chronological journey.
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Near Death experience and a walk in soul
Alana: Yeah, so most people are born you know, they’re a baby they live a life they grow up they have school, they have childhood memories, maybe some trauma, all those experiences. And you know, when we understand the, near-death experience, somebody kind of hops out of the game for a minute and comes back right? What I’m saying is I’m actually a different soul continuing the journey of the person who created this body. So, I don’t have childhood memories. I don’t have a point of reference. That was a story of a soul that preceded me and I kind of came in midstream.
Myrna: Wow. In the, near-death experience, a new soul walks in. I have never heard this before.
Alana: This is what some people call a, walk-in soul. But for me, the most powerful kind of contrast is, I don’t come with the context of a life experience that most people have, most people have childhood memories. They have, you know, trauma that you can inquire or, you know, an impact about beliefs or an impression of, you know, things that they learned in school, because I kind of came in midstream, I have the benefit of some of the memories that Alana kind of left me.
Myrna: What was the experience that the original soul left that a new soul came in? You mentioned something about a motorcycle accident.
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The soul agreement and game of life
Alana: In 2007 the original Alana experienced severe head injury, in a motorcycle accident and was in a coma for a good amount of time. And I would say that was the time that we kind of changed places you could say during that coma, whatever her soul had chosen was saying okay, this is going to be the conclusion of my adventure here on this earth game. I’m sure that she and I created a, soul agreement, that I would pick up where she left off. And so I woke from the coma, started to understand, oh, this is the new life experience. These are some of the rules. These are some of the ways that she lives. These are some of the things that she did, these are some of the people that she knew, and I kind of just picked up the roll from there and carried on.
Myrna: How does a, walk-in soul, take us to the, matrix?
Alana: Yeah, so, you know, we use this term, matrix, or we use this term like the, game of life. Basically, it’s an experience inside of, consciousness. And the interesting thing is people identify the, matrix, or the ego as the limitations, the obstacles, the challenges, the lack or the struggle of trauma, those types of things, right. And sometimes people identify the matrix as this force outside of us, like the government or you know, all of these other limitations; but in reality, what you need to see is the limitations are how our subconscious designs our, game of life.
The matrix or, game of life, is to be played based on what our soul identifies as wanting to experience inside of, consciousness. And so, when I talk about limiting suffering, it can be as simple as changing the way one identifies inside of consciousness. Because the way that we identify inside of, consciousness, will define the experience that we have.
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Myrna: Well, you know, that 99.9% of people don’t even know, what is consciousness. We just show up play the, game of life. We’re in the matrix and you know, it’s tumbling us around and we’re reacting to outside stimulus. But consciousness is a big word. And even though I’m in the space of, awareness and, consciousness, and, trying to create my own reality. I know that I’m not at the top of the game. So, when you are saying that we’re limited in our, consciousness. Explain for the layman what that means.
Alana: So there’s four ways to experience reality. And as you said, 99% of people have that perspective that life happens to them that they’re kind of a victim to circumstances. So, they are at the entry level of the, game of life. When people have an awakening, they start to experience a level of consciousness where they start to realize, I’m actually the observer in the game. I’m able to transcend these limitations and look at them with a different context, a more divine perspective. All of a sudden they are able to take themselves outside of that victim-hood and say, wait, there’s something else going on here.
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The matrix illustrates how to play the game of life
And that’s what the movie “The Matrix Movie” kind of illustrates. He takes the red pill or the blue pill and all of a sudden, he realizes the game isn’t what he thought it was. Similar thing happens when people have an awakening. So, the stage that comes after the observer, is we’re starting to notice okay, I can see the way this works a little bit differently. It’s not necessarily happening to me, but I’m participating in it in a way that I can’t quite explain. Then we get to manifesting what we want in this, matrix.
I know a lot of people who are really getting on to the idea of manifesting using affirmations, using depth of beliefs to create inside their experience. So now you’re not only just observing life, but you’re playing as a creator. In my experience, I can create my prosperity through my belief, I can create my relationships in a different way through my belief, now I understand myself, and we really have kind of left the victim hood and started to be more of a creator. When you play the, game of life, as a creator, it’s like putting their heart, their skin, their dreams, and their imagination into action.
And then once you really get to a place where you are merging with, divine consciousness, which can be known to some people as enlightenment, you know, we’ve had a lot of ascended masters that have set this example Buddha, Jesus all the other ones, right. This is where reality can be perceived as being created in real time, exclusively from our mindset. And so, this is where everything in our experience is a manifestation of the mind.
Myrna: Sure, so from what I remember of the, matrix, you know, there was a body, sitting in a chair, and he took the pill and he was going to the Oracle and the Oracle said that he was the One. But that reality of the matrix didn’t actually affect the body. Right? Because there’s one time he got shot in the matrix and he was sitting a chair still alive. So, help us play the game where we’re in a matrix, which is the, quantum field, and then we’re in our body. How does that work?
Alana: Well, I mean, there’s a lot of layers to it. The first thing that I find is most valuable for everybody is we’re all the guy. We are all the One. So everybody is in their own unique matrix. What “The Matrix” the movie was trying to show is that we’re inside of a game, we’re, consciousness, inside of a game. And so, our reality is a merging of the, game of life, outside the body. When he realized he could control the game he says, why don’t I change it? Why don’t I change the rules? Why don’t I change the way I interact with it? Why don’t I populate it? And that is where he’s able to start to control his reality, which is what we’re talking about.
And he’s able to watch himself participating in real time, which is like what manifesting is, you know, you set your intention or what Dr Joe Dispenza talks about and “Becoming Supernatural” you can heal yourself, but only because you made yourself aware of your capacity to do so. So, my cheat code that the matrix illustrates so beautifully is that our mindset is everything. How we identify is everything. We identify ourselves as always running after our next paycheck. The paychecks are going to keep running away from us. If we identify ourselves as somebody where money is running to us, money will run to us.
The game of life, this movie The Matrix, that’s a clue, the book The Secret, that’s a clue. And there’s so many clues that are kind of naturally built into the game. And one of my favorite ways to understand the clues is to look at the life of children. Because children know how to play the, game of life. They haven’t picked up the muck that kind of makes us forget. And so, what do they do? Kids play dress up, they use their imagination. They pick up a block, it becomes a car, right? Kids know how to play the, game of life, and then we pick up beliefs and the baggage from society. And just increase our degrees of forgetting until we find it again.
Myrna: How we can get in touch with you if you’re on social media. Tell us your handles.
Alana: Yeah, beautiful. My handle on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/akiataetheric/ and Tiktok is @akiatsetheric. If they follow me I share a lot of juicy mind bending ideas and concepts. But most importantly I have this experience called the mirror dimension. And if you go to mirror-dimension.com You’ll find my membership there we meet weekly to learn how to read your reality. It’s really easy, accessible, low-cost program for people to come in and start to learn about themselves to learn about the conscious experience playing a, game of life, learning all the cues.
I find it very important for us to include unpacking people’s personal experiences as demonstrations of what does this clue mean? What did that challenge what was that challenge trying to say? So, we workshop in real time in the mirror dimension to learn how to be better creators in our reality. It’s a really incredible workshop style experience for people to come and learn and grow.
If you have been diagnosed with, mental illness, or, Bipolar disorder, it means that you probably think of ending your life all the time. In this episode, I interview Gabe Howard, who was diagnosed with, Bipolar disorder, at age 25.
Before then Gabe said that he did not know he was sick. His parents thought he was just acting out and would punish him for his behavior. But he remembers thinking of suicide all his life, until he got treatment. No one knew he was, Bipolar.
I was diagnosed with, Bipolar disorder, when I was when I was 25 years old. I didn’t know that I was sick. I had all of these, mental health, symptoms. They were causing me a lot of personal problems. I had a drug and alcohol problem, hyper sexuality was an issue, my relationships were just being destroyed, all because of, mental illness, but I didn’t know anything was wrong.
Then one day I ended up in a psychiatric hospital, because I was ready to end my own life. I thought about suicide as far back as I can remember.
I just thought it was normal to want to die.
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What is, Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder is a mental illness marked by extreme changes in mood from high to low, and from low to high. Highs are periods of mania, while lows are periods of depression. The changes in mood may even become mixed, so you might feel elated and depressed at the same time.
The problem Gabe says is that when you are in the middle is when you get the job, the girl, the promotion, get married. You usually loose these things when you are depressed or manic; being in the middle is where you want to be.
I became an advocate because I consider myself to be a smart person and I don’t have like some story about how my parents were awful. My parents are good people, they loved me very much. My dad was a truck driver my mom a stay-at-home mom and they did all the things right.
They were engaged, they loved me, they were present and none of us knew that I was, Bipolar, None of us got me any help. I thought wow if I didn’t know, if my family didn’t know, if all of that love and engagement and connection and caring and they just missed it. There must be other people that are in my shoes. That’s why I became a, mental health advocate.
I just wanted to talk about, Bipolar, openly so that there just wouldn’t be other people wandering around sick and scared and symptomatic. They could get help, because I was really lucky.
Hypnosis-Everywhere with Ines Simpson explores, dissects, discusses and opens up the world of Hypnosis. You will discover that Hypnosis is a very big world indeed. In Hypnosis-Everywhere, Ines offers you tools and answers to deal with that tricky mind of yours, and proven ways to enrich your life.
Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other
Mental Illness is an Asshole is Gabe Howard’s first collection of articles about living with mental illness.
All the articles date from 2014 through 2018 and include his observations on reaching recovery, stigma, and living well in spite of depression, bipolar, and anxiety. Totaling over 380 pages, Gabe even shares the story of his :): logo for the first time.
For years, Gabe Howard’s entertaining articles and essays have been educating people about living with mental illness. His observations cover everything from practical advice to family relationships to the fears that people with mental illness experience.
In essays such as “Anxiety Says Everyone Hates Me,” “I Have Bipolar and I’m a Hypocrite,” and, yes, “Mental Illness Is an Asshole,” Gabe makes mental illness less scary and more understandable.
I had a suicide plan and I just happen to run into somebody that understood that understood mental illness and it she looked at me and asked me “are you planning on killing yourself?” Her training allowed her to ask that question and I said yes! She he me committed to the psychiatric hospital.
I was diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, and of course once I was diagnosed with, bipolar, to go on and lead good life. This is why I always say that I was lucky.
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Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now: find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose.
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Bipolar disorder, is commonly described as extreme highs to extreme lows. From suicidal depression all the way to God like mania. As a, Bipolar, you will have to battle depression where you want to die, and feel like you want to die, you feel like you want everything to end. When you are in Mania, you feel like the whole world revolves around you.
Then there is the middle. Everything is normal. That’s when you get the job, that’s when you meet the girl, that’s when you get married, buy the house, have all the friends; all the things that you lose when you become symptomatic.
Psych Meds for, Bipolar Disorder, the Good, Bad, and the Ugly
Psychiatric medications are the religion and politics of the mental health advocacy world.
In this episode, we cover the good, the bad, and the ugly surrounding medications. Like whether or not you should take them. We tackle side effects like feeling numb and sexual dysfunction and share our personal histories with medication therapy.
If you have any form of, mental illness, that you need Meds to function. Medications are amazing, they saved my life. I want to be very clear. Without my medication I cannot live the life that I live. So many people mistakenly believe that psychiatric medications are magical that you just need to take the pill and boom everything is fine and it’s simple.
It’s much bigger than that. In addition to psychiatric medication, therapy is very important, learning coping skills is very important, and going to support groups. You have to deal with the trauma of your past and all of these things matter; but all we ever hear about is psychiatric medication and I want to change that. I want to change it to, did you take your meds and did you go to therapy and did you utilize your coping skills?
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What is the most common cause of, bipolar disorder?
Biological traits
Hormonal problems: Hormonal imbalances might trigger or cause bipolar disorder. Environmental factors: Abuse, mental stress, a “significant loss,” or some other traumatic event may contribute to or trigger bipolar disorder.
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Mental Health Advocate for, Bipolar
Gabe is a, Mental Health Advocate. He remembers when no one knew he was sick for over 20 years. He had a plan to end his life and luckly for him, someone asked him the question “Are you planning on hurting yourself” He answered yes and he was admitted to the Psychiatric ward in hospital.
That saved his life so now, he is a, mental health advocate, to help others suffering from, mental illness, or, bipolar disorder, receive treatment and services.
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Additional Resources for, Bipolar Disorder.
The book is a collection of Articles and all of the Articles have something to do with, mental illness, mental health, loving somebody with, mental illness, dating someone with, bipolar,
It’s almost a reference guide that you can carry around for people with, bipolar, or dealing with somebody who is living with, mental illness, and depression and anxiety, don’t just live with, bipolar, you can have just depression, you can have just anxiety. Even people with schizophrenia, they suffer from depression and anxiety as well.
Guided Meditations, has been proven to make real changes in your brain, like in the actual structure of your brain. Using Muse, guided meditations, helps you focus.
Today I am speaking to Ariel Garten, Psychotherapist and founder of Muse Headband for, guided meditations.
Muse Headband comes with, free guided meditations, and help to reduce stress and improve sleep.
This topic that’s near and dear to my heart because I am a meditator. So I am going to be learning as much from you as our audience on, guided meditations, and using, Muse Headband for meditation.
Ariel, How did your work in psychotherapy and neuroscience lead you to becoming the founder of Muse?
How Muse guided meditations started
My story is a really varied one. I was always interested in everything and how the world worked and how we work; so I went to school for neuroscience, so that I could learn more about the brain. Our brain creates our experiences of life. The movements of chemicals across our sinapps create the experience of being happy of feeling connected to one another.
I became trained as a psychotherapist and so in psychotherapy so that I could work one-on-one with people to help them understand the narratives that play in their minds, these are the stories that are in their head and shapes their existence. I help them shift those narratives and stories so that they could be more comfortable with the life that they’re living. I became really fascinated by brain waves. Brain waves are the electrical energy that comes off your head. It’s real information from your brain.
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I began working with a professor at the University of Toronto and and we began to use an EEG system eg or sensors to detect brain waves to listen to people’s brain activity and create feedback loops. We could literally make sounds from the energy coming off of people heads. We were actually creating musical experiences as you shifted your brain state from focused to relaxed.
I stood back and started to recognize that we could actually create company around this technology and uses this for human good. I got together with my co-founders Chris and Trevor, two friends of mine one who’s an amazing electrical engineer the other amazing business person and the three of us set off to bring, Muse Headband for Meditation, to the world.
In psychotherapy I would be teaching people to meditate as one of the tools to help them, transform their mind, but we all know that meditation is incredibly hard to do because most of us can’t quiet our minds. I sucked at meditation. I teach it to my patients and they would go home and try to do it but their brains would bounce all over the place and they would be frustrated.
Muse Headband for meditation, gives you real-time feedback on your brain during, guided meditation.
Muse gives you audio feedback. You’re actually hearing your brain state and it’s helping you guide yourself back into that state of focus when your mind wanders off.
When I meditate, there’s certain times that I can sit there and just concentrate on my breathing, and then the next time I’ve got all these thoughts that are bouncing around. When you recognize that you’re no longer concentrating on your breathing you bring it back but that could be 30 mins later.
What is, Guided meditation?
Meditation is simply a practice or a training that leads to healthy and positive mind. It’s an exercise that you do regularly that leads to improvements in your mind and your brain. The most common form of meditation that most people do first is a focused attention meditation. You might hear different forms of meditation and they all have a lot of similarities with their basics and focused attention.
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You focus your attention on your breath or part of your body. Eventually your mind wanders away from the thing you’re paying attention to or the voice on the, guided meditation, onto a thought or a distraction and it’s your job to notice that your mind has wandered and come back to your breath. It is incredibly simple. You’re putting your attention on your breath, your mind wanders you realize your mind is wandered and instead of following your wandering mind you choose to come back to your breath. Your guide from the, guided meditations, would remind you to follow your breathe.
How to Meditate?
Sit or lie comfortably. You may even want to invest in a meditation chair or cushion.
Close your eyes. …
Make no effort to control the breath; simply breathe naturally.
Focus your attention on the breath and on how the body moves with each inhalation and exhalation.
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Focusing on your breath and returning to your breath is big deal. When you do this really simple exercise, some pretty profound things happen to your mind and brain. Most of us just kind of go through the world on autopilot. We just go through the world with a bunch of thoughts in our head and we assume we’re supposed to be thinking them. We’re thinking about our brother who’s not feeling well or the groceries that we’re supposed to get or with the thing in front of us that we don’t really care about.
What happens is as soon as you engage in , guided meditations, and you put your attention breathwork, your mind wanders into one of those thoughts and you choose to say. I don’t want to follow this wandering thought, I want to control my mind and put it elsewhere, on my breathe. All of a sudden you have changed the relationship to your thoughts and that is HUGE. You’re no longer just subject to the thoughts that are in your head, you can actually have control over them. You can have dominion over your own mind. Every time you do this you get better and better at saying hey I don’t want to follow that thought, I want to come back to this, guided meditation, and my breathe.
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A lot of the thoughts that we have are negative, frustrating and repetitive so instead of just following these negative, frustrating, repetitive thoughts and assuming that’s what happens, we can now observe them and say heck NO, I don’t like that thought. I don’t want to go there and choose to come back to focused attention and, guided meditations.
The benefits of guided meditations
There’s literally over a thousand published studies demonstrating the benefits of, guided meditation, and its impact on your mind your body:
Deepak Chopra introduced me to, guided meditation, maybe 10 – 15 years ago. I have been a meditator for a while and there is a significant difference in everything about me because of meditation. One benefit is that I am able to relieve pain by breathing into the area.
There’s a ton of studies that demonstrate, guided meditations, potential to improve pain.
One study shows a novice meditator or a short-term learning meditation can reduce their pain by 50%, expert meditators have been shown to be able to reduce their pain levels by 90%.
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Muse Headband for meditation, has agency G and heart rate sensors inside of it that track your brain during your meditation. The same way that a heart rate monitor will track your heart while you’re at the gym and let you know when you’re in the fat-burning zone.
Muse Headband for meditation, tracks your brain during, guided meditation, to let you know when you’re in focused attention. When your mind is wandering, it actually lets you hear the sound of your mind. It lets you know when you’re focused and it warns you when your mind has wandered off and then guides you back into that state of focused attention. Muse Headband for meditation, use really beautiful audio cues that you hear through your phone, in the same way a Fitbit connects with your phone.
What happens to our brain during, Guided Meditation?
Meditation has been proven to make real changes in your brain, like in the actual structure of your brain. It’s quite amazing. There’s an amazing study from Dr. Sarah Lazar she’s a researcher at Harvard and she’s shown that meditation that can increase the thickness of your prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is the area of your brain right under your forehead and it’s the part of your brain that’s responsible for planning, organization and higher-order thinking.
It’s the thing that like separate us from other animals. As Humans we have really developed prefrontal cortex. As we age our prefrontal cortex actually becomes thinner; but Dr Lazar was able to show that people with a long term, guided meditation, practices were able to maintain the thickness of their prefrontal cortex even as they aged. So quite amazing, guided meditation, actually was able to reverse the aging process by maintaining our prefrontal cortex.
Through the, guided meditation, process it actually strengthens the ability of your prefrontal cortex to now regulate your amygdala. It’s like your prefrontal cortex is the parent and the amygdala is the little three-year-old having a temper tantrum.
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Can our Set point for Happiness be changed by, guided meditations to reduce stress?
Our set point is our capacity for happiness, and apparently it is set very early in life from our parents or our caretakers. Deepak Chopra says that, guided meditation, can move that set point so your capacity for happiness increases. I thought this statement was interesting enough for us to include it in our conversation today, so can you touch on the neuroscience behind this statement.
During, guided meditations, you begin to recognize that you can have control over your thoughts. Typically the next thing that happens is you recognize that you are not your thoughts, and if you are not your thoughts you are also not all of the stories about yourself that your thoughts have been telling you about you. At some point with meditators there’s this unbelievable shift where you realize that like you know the things that you learned about yourself in the grade 3 school yard when you were being picked on are not true. So you let go of that perspective in the same way you let go those negative thoughts and that is unbelievably liberating. So your capacity for happiness or set point shifts.
Have you found your, passion? Passion, is that burning desire that God placed in your belly at birth. It is also called your burning bush.
In this episode I reference the Final chapter of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement”
I call this chapter “God’s consuming fire your , passion.
In this chapter of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their passion, the fire in their belly, into its monetary equivalent. Their passion was like a “burning bush” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.
Out of the Snares
“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”
— Field Marshal Ferdinand Foch
What is Passion
Passion it is that thing that you were created to do. The thing that makes you feel good when you are doing it, like you transcended your body and entered the heavens. The thing that you would do all day for free.
Kobe Bryant was born with a purpose, he got the genes and the physical attributes to be a basketball player but; he had to engage his, passion.
Purpose is what you were placed on the earth to do, it is your contribution to mankind. The first way to uncover your, passion, is to find out what holds your interest and what you love doing. God gave you your gift of purpose, and you’re not always passionate about your purpose; but if you can marry it to your, passion, it’s like pouring gasoline on the fire. You have to feed your, passion. That’s what Kobe Bryant did and that is why he is a Legend. No one out worked him, he wanted to be the best and win championships.
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One of the self-evaluation questions I ask my new coaching clients is “If you were the Power-ball winner of $500,000,000. What would you do with your time?” You see, when you take away the need to earn money, then your head becomes clear as to what your passion really is.
In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their passion, the fire in their belly, into its monetary equivalent. Their passion was like a “burning bush” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.
For Walt Disney it was drawing and Art. Walt started drawing as an ambulance driver in the army. Then he became a commercial artist. After being let go from his company, he decided to start his own graphics company. His company failed from bad management. Walt had a string of failures that included bankruptcy before he found success. He married Art with imagination and created the happiest place on earth. His passion for drawing birth an empire that has gross revenues today in the billions of dollars.
Walt Disney World is now visited by over 5 million families every year, Annual cash flow from Disney’s consortium of products and films are in excess of 21 billion dollars. It includes 535 Disney stores, a cable television station, amusement parks in Orlando, California, Paris and more. All because he would not let the fire in his belly die.
So what would you do for free?
How did Sylvester Stallone Find his, Passion?
Sylvester Stallone was born disabled. He suffered injury at birth that left one side of his mouth deformed and caused him to speak funny. Sylvester’s passion was born from being hungry. Like Les Brown would say “You got to be Hungry” Sylvester was broke and hungry. He was walking the street one day, cold and hungry and he decided to go into a library to stay warm. Laying on the table was a book about a fighter who overcame odds to win.
That inspired Sylvester Stallone to go write the Rocky story. He wrote that story in one sitting. He did not stop for 20 hours. That inspiration was the gasoline that lit the fire that God put inside him. Again he married passion with imagination and wrote a story that resonated with each and every one of us. The story of Rocky. It made him a millionaire many times over.
“When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn.”
— John Wesley
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Back in the day, Stallone was a struggling actor in every definition. At some point, he got so broke that he stole his wife’s jewelry and sold it. Things got so bad that he even ended up homeless. Yes, he slept at the New York bus station for 3 days. Unable to pay rent or afford food. His lowest point came when he tried to sell his dog at the liquor store to a stranger. He didn’t have money to feed the dog anymore. He sold his dog for $25. He says he walked away crying.
Two weeks later, he saw a boxing match between Mohammed Ali and Chuck Wepner and that match gave him the inspiration to write the script for the famous movie, ROCKY. He wrote the script in 20 hours! He tried to sell it and got an offer for $125,000 for the script. But he had just ONE REQUEST. He wanted to STAR in the movie. He wanted to be the MAIN ACTOR, Rocky himself. But the studio said NO. They wanted a REAL STAR.
They said he “Looked funny and talked funny”. He left with his script. A few weeks later, the studio offered him $250,000 for the script. He refused. They even offered $350,000. He still refused. They wanted his movie, but NOT him. He said NO. He was not selling out, if they did not cast him, they couldn’t buy his script. It worked. They wanted the script so badly, that they cast his as Rocky and history was made.
What is exactly the, Meaning of, Passion
Passion, is that which deeply stirs us or a developmental perspective, so it’s like the essence of our commitment. Passion is the thing that drives us. You might hear older individuals say they “lost their will to live,” that means they lost their passion, their fuel. Just like a child requires love to grow, we require passion to continue to grow inside.
When we selectively share our, passion, we engage the universe to manifest our, passion.
It’s like putting gasoline on your fire when you engaged your, passion.
J.K Rowling was a single parent, a divorcee and out of work. On a train ride from Manchester to London she got the inspiration to create the Harry Potter story. But she was already a published author. Writing her first book at 6 years old and another at 11 years old. She became an English teacher because her passion was writing. Ms Rowling says
Failure stirs the fire in your belly to do something about your passion.
In 2015 J.K. Rowling’s 2008 Harvard commencement speech was published under the title ‘Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination’
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My, passion, is learning, building and imparting. As a Life coach, author and motivational speaker, I am constantly learning, building and imparting into the lives of others. I could do it all day and I do it for free.
Find your, passion!
“There is no greater thing you can do with your life and your work than follow your passions – in a way that serves the world and you.” Richard Branson
What I encourage people to do is to focus on the positive at all times. If they remove the negative, those emotional vampires, they will let the light in. Once you move away or walk away or even run away from negativity, you can begin to find your, passion in life. Be passionate about whatever you desire, it doesn’t matter what it is, be passionate about it by surrounding yourself with those people who are similar in Life or those people who have already done it.
I remember people talking about Diana Ross, one of my favorite people. They were so upset with her for continually surrounding herself around for White people, and she told them she surrounds herself with anyone regardless of color who is going in the same direction as she or where she wants to go.
The common complaint among a lot of people is that they need to, ‘find their passion.’
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Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now: find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose.
The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walkthrough of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan of going after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.
Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. ..That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.
Being, abandoned, by a loved one cuts deeply in the heart resulting in emotional, abandonment. It is the result of a significant person discarding you, dismissing you, devaluing you, or not acknowledging you. This type of invisible injury causes great harm to the recipient. In fact, the term “recipient” is ironic because often the recipient receives nothing; which is the problem.
Regardless if you are, abandoned by your parents, a lover, a friend, a sibling. The feeling of, not being enough, overwhelms those who are, abandoned. No one sees it and it tends to go underground in terms of abuse. Victims simply feel empty and invisible.
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Here are the top 3 reasons for feeling, Abandoned:
Devalued and rejected by others
Abandoned, by our parents
Feelings of, not good enough, because we have lack.
When the, abandonment, wound is caused by an absent parent. When one of your parents has chosen to not be in your life, this cuts deeply. There is no easy explanation to be found by those who’ve been abandoned by a parent. Some try to make the best of the situation, ignoring that fact that they don’t have this parent in their lives; but the damage is still the same. There are life-long consequences to parental abandonment.
Children in the foster care system that have been, abandoned, by their parents never regain their self-esteem. They look are other kids who have their parents and feel worthless. They end up most time becoming promiscuous because they look for love in all the wrong places.
Some learn to cope in different ways. Some pretend it doesn’t matter; some question their worth; others may be openly angry. With, abandonment, comes defense mechanisms.
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Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?
Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?
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Abandoned, by Love
Most women who were, abandoned, end up in unhealthy relationship with narcissistic men who abuse them and, abandon, them again. This pattern is repeated often.
Women who have been, abandoned, could be likened to a cracked vase. If you have been broken from, abandonment, then you can’t hold love, you can’t hold self-esteem, you can’t hold purpose, everything pours out of you.
It takes work to heal your cracks. The first step in is to identify that you are broken from, abandonment.
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Once you have identified your, abandonment, issue and have processed through some of the feelings there are some other imagery exercises you can to do heal yourself. These are described below:
Identify the part of you that is hurt. This can be labeled as your, “hurt inner child.” If the source of your hurt occurred in adulthood, this does not matter because the wound of, abandonment, most likely put you in a regressive state of mind. You have likely regressed emotionally to a younger, more helpless age. Use imagery and visualize this inner child.
Now imagine the part of you that is healthy and compassionate. This part of you is going to be instrumental in your healing from being, abandoned. You must come to the rescue of your inner, hurt self by offering love, time, empathy, hope, and encouragement.
In addition to the hurt, abandoned, part of yourself, identify your coping mechanisms – particularly any personas or sub-selves that act out; the part of you that is trying to compensate for the hurt experienced by the abandonment of your loved one. Identify parts of you that are trying to respond to the hurt in an unhealthy manner.
Talk to your inner hurt, abandoned, child. Assure her of her value and worth. Be present for her in a real and tangible way.
In the end, no matter who has hurt you, no matter how affected you may be from the resulting injury from, abandonment, you still have a life to live. Even if you have an ache in your heart for the missing person, you can still thrive in life; find hope and love, and live well. You do this by honoring your feelings, acknowledging the loss, validating the consequences of the loss, and enjoying your life.
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Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other
How the, Abandonment, wound plays out in relationships:
Oversensitivity to criticism or feedback
Overreacting to conflict
Becoming a pleaser
Anxiety and fear of the other person leaving
Ending relationships early before the other person has a chance to leave
Jealousy or suspicion that your partner will hurt, cheat, or leave even when there’s no sign of malicious behavior
Self-doubt, insecurity, and lack of self-worth
Staying in an abusive relationship for fear of being alone
In more extreme cases of being deeply triggered during events such as break-ups, a divorce, or a loss:one might feel a total loss of control over their emotions, hyper-reactivity, anxiety attacks, fear, insomnia, weight loss or gain, and obsessive thoughts or behavior.
An, abandonment, wound is invisible to the eye, but it leaves telltale signs in how we relate to the external world, how we feel internally and how we behave in our relationships. It can have us spend our whole lives running from perceived danger. To test someone’s love like a straw that inevitably breaks, then using their resignation as evidence we’re living in an unsafe world. It can cause us to blindly accept the bad behavior of others, ignoring our own needs and prevent us from having a strong, powerful voice.
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Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now, and this is find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose. The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walkthrough of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan to go after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.
Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.
