Tag Archives: affirmations

Healing Trauma Through The Power of Self-Empathy

Krystal Boothe author of Deep Inner Soul – Healing with self empathy shares tips from her book on how to heal childhood trauma. In the depths of trauma’s impact, the journey to healing often begins with, self-empathy. Krystal’s book delves into the profound role, self-empathy, plays in the healing process, guiding individuals towards transformative recovery.  Krystal introduces concepts from her book that unravels the layers of trauma, while providing practical tools and exercises for self-nurturing and healing.

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Introduction

Krystal Boothe is a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Wings of The Future. Krystal  grew up in Detroit Michigan from an underprivileged family in an abusive home. Her father had two wives (didn’t know that was legal in America) the abusive environment made a major impact on her schooling she had a special education classes.

As a result, she found herself repeating the cycle of abuse and became a victim (always happens).  After leaving her abuser she married her current husband in 1999, but after 14 years of marriage they divorced only to reunite three years later.  Together they founded Wings of The Future shortly afterwards. Krystal work now focuses on the, complex trauma, in the adult population.  she works with a diverse population of adults adolescents and children with anxiety, depression, bipolar, PTSD, ADHD and a host of other diagnosis.

Myrna: Krystal I want to start off by asking you in your work as a clinical social worker what did you personally learn or discover in life that led you to this point to write books about, healing trauma?

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Childhood trauma leads to toxic relationships

Krystal: It kind of started all out when I was in Los Angeles County working for the county at a facility for teenagers who are involved in the legal system.  I noticed that all of the clients they would give me, all of them had childhood trauma.  During the Discovery process and assessments all of them had trauma.

I just started to see the repeating underlining causes of why they were incarcerated and why they were having problems in school. Including learning, focused concentration, memory problems, and the  inability to have healthy relationships resulting in a  lot of toxic relationships.  That discovery led me on this path as well as my own struggles with focused concentration and memory.

I was not able to do well in school myself and so I started to connect the dots and that’s when I started to realize that trauma was the underlying cause of these problems.  It wasn’t just Mental Health, it’s been proven. Science shows that whenever you see someone with trauma, the psychologist can go back and pinpoint a certain point in your childhood, not even maybe as a teenager it started.

Trauma can starts very early and it impacts the way you see the world and how you see yourself.

Myrna: I’ve had several people on the show that confirmed this. And you are correct a lot of times those behaviors or those traumas, leads to incarceration and problems with the justice system.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Key elements to healing trauma: Self-empathy

Myrna: Can you describe the process of, healing trauma, and what are some key elements for people to learn how to heal from trauma?

Krystal: One of the key elements that I  mentioned in the book, is the inability to be vulnerable and authentic with yourself. A lot of times trauma brings a lot of shame and so people typically will not want to open up anymore. They’ll shut down and that’s just one of the byproducts of trauma, and so the ability to be vulnerable and honest with others and themselves.

Deep Inner Soul Healing with self-empathy addresses how to  get back to that place before you were damaged.  The book teaches you how to do that through the, empathy exercises.

Myrna:  I know you’ve got personal experience  from being a child in an abusive home, then you were able to start your career and see it in others.  What inspired you to write this book and what message do you hope readers will take away from the book?

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Deep Inner Soul Healing with self-empathy

Krystal: What I realized is that the key component to help trigger the brain to get back to that place of vulnerability and authenticity honesty was that the person was waiting to be cared for.  They were  waiting for someone to say something kind to them,  someone to validate them.  That led me on a scientific Journey with my clients up creating these empathy exercises.

Before I even wrote the book,  I decided to just go through these, empathy exercises, with the client pinpointing the specific traumas and see what happened to the brain,  and what happened to the heart.  These exercises allowed my clients to hear for themselves what they were expecting other people to tell them.

As they began to receive what they needed to heal, it was almost like an antidote, they started to let naturally.  Let go of the pain that was causing them to be unable to forgive or being unable to let something go or be unable to move forward and think of anything else other than what had happened to them.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Healing with self-empathy allows us to move forward

Trauma has devastating  effects on the brain and on the body and in so many other areas. God gave me the word, I heard it in my spirit, empathy exercises, and I thought to myself, empathy exercises, okay.  I know what an exercise is it’s something that you do over and over again and I know what empathy is but then I said he’s meaning, self-empathy.

So then I started to say, self-empathy,  what does it look like, what would it sound like, what would it feel like?   I started writing out some things that were empathy because I have a very high emotional intelligence so I was able to discern what people needed to hear.   I’m going to trigger the same emotional reaction in their physiological body and in their brain and thereby get them where they want to go.

Myrna: Are these exercises affirmations? A lot of times affirmations don’t work because your brain is saying oh that’s bull crap.  Give me an example of a of a, self-empathy exercise, that someone will do and that their brain will believe it.

Krystal:  I teach people how to reconnect in their body and in their hearts and when they go into their heart that’s where this work takes place this work does not take place in the brain.  It affects the brain, it helps rewire the brain, it helps the brain to let things go; but everything that they do they is from the heart not the brain.

Self empathy reconnects with the heart and body

I teach them to how to reconnect with their bodies and a lot of times people do not want to reconnect with their bodies because that’s exactly where the pain is. So I teach them how to slowly but surely isolate various incidents that have happened to them.  We go through and unpack all that stuff, get it clear what we’re going in for and then we go into the heart, we don’t go into the brain. The brain only believes with the heart.

Once you  shift over into to true empathy for yourself, you realize that oh someone cares for me. That someone is you.

Myrna: That’s actually pretty good work. What do you want people to walk away with after reading your book?

Krystal: One of the biggest message I want people to walk away with is that I  can heal.  People lose hope because they have tried everything,  they’ve done everything.   I want to reinstall in people that there’s hope, that they can actually heal.  Because once a person hope is activated, they are willing to do the work.

Book: Deep Inner Soul Healing with Self-Empathy
Book: Deep Inner Soul Healing with Self-Empathy
Conclusion

Myrna: so how can someone pick up a copy of your book and also get a hold of you for therapy? Your company is called Wings of the future.

I am on social media I’m on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/wingsofthefuturepp/.  I’m going to be starting a little small group where I’m going to be allowing people to kind of meet with the author of the book where they’re going to get actually meet with me.  I’m going to go through the book with people and it’s just going to be for a very small nominal monthly fee.  They’re going to be able to meet with me if they can’t go to therapy, because not everybody has money for therapy.

Additional Resources 

Embracing Change Together: The Transformative Power of Group Therapy

 

Life Mastery: 7 Habits to Create Success

We attain, life mastery, by our daily habits. The habits we need to be cultivating daily has to include something physical, something spiritual, and personal development to build your brain.

In this episode, Sherry Fernandez, NYT Bestselling author talks about, Life mastery, how to develop the habits needed for success.

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Bio

Sherry Fernandez is the author of the New York Times, bestselling book ‘Life Mastery: Personal Progression Toward an Infinite Potential’. The book has sold tens of thousands of copies globally and has been featured on several leading media outlets. She has been a student of personal development for 40+ years.  What makes her program unique is that she practiced and refined the life mastery principles taught for decades, before deciding to share them with others.

Sherry helps people who are already living well and looking for ways to reach new heights in their personal growth, personal finances, or personal health, to see what’s possible. She helps her clients improve in their close relationships, careers, spiritual growth or starting new businesses.

Myrna: What are some habits that propel us to, life mastery?

Sherry: When I work with people, it goes beyond the big vision of what we want, for example, like who we want to marry. I knew what I wanted. I never wanted to ever get married and have children, but then I had one and then I decided to keep that child. My parents did not give me my drive. They had nine marriages between them. So, I wanted something different. So I thought if I am going to do this, I’m gonna do the very best marriage possible. I don’t think it’s gonna be very fun. I thought it was gonna be horrible, but I loved the guy.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

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Daily habits to master your marriage

So, I read every book I could find on, marriages. I had a vision of what I wanted my marriage to look like and so I started working on it.  I did the things that was the books said I should do and I even exceeded my vision of what a marriage should be. And we’ve been married for 45 years and still having the best sex. And so, all these things exceeded my vision. I put the principles to work early on and went to work on, life mastery.  It was a slow growth right but I just kept at it and kept at it until I developed the habits for, life mastery.  I was able to exceed my dreams. And I think that’s how it works. You have this big dream or big goal and then you work on it, turns out even better than you thought it was going to be.

When we’re moving forward, we’re happy and you can prove that in a day. Do something move to move forward a little bit, some little thing and see how it makes you feel.  I’ve had people come to me and say I didn’t have time to work out. And I would say. Commit to me to do something tomorrow. And then Tell me how it went and all they’ll do what they always do. They do this yeah, I feel happier. It’s one step. It’s amazing day just one step forward and People are happier. You don’t have to get there because you never get there anyway. It’s just taking the steps forward that make you happy. And then they compound.

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Steps to building life mastery

Myrna: What are some of the steps that can get us to, life mastery?

Sherry: What you do every day is what’s gonna make you successful your, daily habits. So, when I have a client come in, I don’t ask them what they want to work on. We work on their goals but not the very first week.

  • First off, they need something physical,
  • We need to work on something spiritual. If they’re religious people, they know that there’s something there in their religion they need to be doing or maybe they need to pick up something spiritual. Practice meditation is something spiritual.
  • You need something for your brain. You need to be educating yourself and learning and growing all the time. Preferably something in your field and some things that are outside your field every day.

So those 3 habits will get a lot of people started on, life mastery. There’s gonna be some habits that must be forever disrupted the same way. But education must be an ongoing forever habit. Physical Fitness has to be an ongoing, every day, forever habit. spiritual practices must be every day and you can’t miss. You can’t say I will pray tomorrow; today’s prayer is for today. Tomorrow’s prayer is for tomorrow.

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Daily habits build life mastery

You must work out every day. You cannot say, I will work out 5 mins today and 60 mins tomorrow to make up for today. I learned this the hard way. I had 6 kids, that means all the ballgames and all the dance lessons and all the laundry and all that stuff. And sometimes I think I’m too busy to do my personal self-care like physical fitness. But I had to do it no exception. If I didn’t spend any time on self-care, I felt less happy at the end of the day.

We’re happy when we take care of our health, take care of ourselves and do personal development, then go out in the world and make a difference. If I didn’t get the laundry done. I could live with that. I can do that tomorrow. But If I didn’t do my personal development practices, I couldn’t live with that.  And you don’t save time by skipping it.

Myrna: Yeah, so you know your, life mastery habits, are  foundational. So, let’s touch on, personal finances. You saying that if you want to make lots of money, it’s a good driver for, Life Mastery. And I think, what you basically saying is that, goals, are a driver of, personal finances. If you have a goal of doing something then you will achieve it. So how do you teach your clients to want lots of money and then go ahead and make it happen?

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Seven steps to making lots of money

Sherry: There’s are seven areas they need to work on to make lots of money:

  1. Spirituality,
  2. Relationships,
  3. fitness,
  4. education,
  5. money,
  6. vocation,
  7. character

And so, money it’s only one piece of a piece pie, but it is important. So, they set their own goals. I work with a lot of entrepreneurs. So, we do a lot of entrepreneurial kinds of goals, for example doing more good in the world.

Jim Rohn said make a million dollars for what it can do for others.

Make a lot of money, you are gonna touch a ton of lives, you’re gonna get to spread that money around. You can do so much good both with the money and with the resources. Elon Musk went to the moon with his money. He wants to build a transportation system into space.  That is doing good with your money.

Learn, apply, live, learn how to support yourself, then learn how to been able to support some other people like your family. And then when your finances good, and you’ve learned a whole bunch of stuff. Then you can go find another way. You can choose how you serve.  I can choose how I serve because I have the financial resources to serve any how I want.

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Life mastery habit: track your daily habits

Myrna: Tell us about your, life mastery, classes and how we can get in touch with you.

Sherry: I’m a big believer in simple systems.  So, I believe the simple steps that I teach, the first one is you got to track your, daily habits. You got to just track your daily habits, daily.

Peter Drucker said “What gets measured gets managed”

Your, daily tracker, will track your daily habits and that’s how you develop, life mastery habits. So, on my website there is a daily tracking chart you can download for free.  It just lists the, daily habits, you want to do down the left hand column. It’s like a calendar the days of the month across the top and you just you write down your activity like, meditation, workout, eat clean, floss my teeth, 20 minutes of devotion etc. These are the, daily habits, you want to track.

You have got to set the parameters. You must say what is the workout? Thinking very clear, what constitutes a workout? Is it 5 mins or 45 mins? Because if you don’t and you work out for 5 mins when you should be working out for 45 mins, workout doesn’t get crossed off the list on your, daily tracker. If your daily step count is 14,000 steps and you do 13,900, it doesn’t count. Then you didn’t get it done.

Book: Life Mastery
Book: Life Mastery

Affirmations build life mastery

The, daily tracker, also works for, affirmations. One of my affirmations is that I have I laugh easily and often. So, what that means is so about eight to 10 of those every day on things that don’t really matter so they can be they can reinforce another habit. Another affirmation could be, I get up early. You put it on the tracking sheet. I have an affirmation about being aware of my thoughts and working on mindfulness.

I have about five to about 13 affirmations. But I would suggest people you can go ahead and do about 10 affirmations for, life mastery.

Myrna: What’s your website? Also tell us about your Book “Life Mastery, Personal Progression Towards An infinite Potential.”

Sherry: My website is www.LifeMasteryinfo.com. Life Mastery was taken. You can email me any time about anything and I will respond. My email is sherry@lifeMastereryinfo.com.  My mission now because I made enough money so I can get what I want is to make a difference.

Additional Resources

Mind Power: The Amazing Power of Your Mind

 

How to Create Your Own Matrix In The Game Of Life

What “The Matrix” the movie was trying to show is that we’re inside of a game, we’re, consciousness, inside of the,  game of life. And so, our reality is a merging of the, game of life, outside the body.  When Noe realized he could control the game he says, why don’t I change it? Why don’t I change the rules? Why don’t I change the way I interact with it? Why don’t I populate it? And that is where he’s able to start to control his reality, and create his own matrix. We can all do the same thing.

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Bio

Alana Aviel is a guide to Mastering the Creation of your Reality. Alana Aviel of AKIATA is an Oracle, Channel, Teacher, and Spiritual Guide/Activator working primarily in the Quantum Realm. Following a powerful near-death experience, Alana has humbly stepped fully into her service as a guide and teacher in the Akasha and assists in total obliteration of old paradigm patterns and limitations to being. Her work focuses on identifying the cues of one’s reality and activating our natural powers as the creator of our Reality to live an aware and empowered life.

Myrna: Tell us about your near-death experience?

Alana: I was in a motorcycle accident where I was in a coma and have a severe brain injury. It was actually the conclusion of one, soul’s journey, and the initiation of my soul’s journey. So that was the start of my adventure. And it’s what’s called a, walk-in soul, experience. So where one soul kind of says, okay, I’m ready to conclude my journey here on Earth, and it creates an opportunity for another soul to kind of hop in and continue the journey.

Myrna: Take us on a chronological journey.

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Near Death experience and a walk in soul

Alana: Yeah, so most people are born you know, they’re a baby they live a life they grow up they have school, they have childhood memories, maybe some trauma, all those experiences. And you know, when we understand the, near-death experience, somebody kind of hops out of the game for a minute and comes back right? What I’m saying is I’m actually a different soul continuing the journey of the person who created this body. So, I don’t have childhood memories. I don’t have a point of reference. That was a story of a soul that preceded me and I kind of came in midstream.

Myrna: Wow. In the, near-death experience, a new soul walks in.  I have never heard this before.

Alana: This is what some people call a, walk-in soul. But for me, the most powerful kind of contrast is, I don’t come with the context of a life experience that most people have, most people have childhood memories. They have, you know, trauma that you can inquire or, you know, an impact about beliefs or an impression of, you know, things that they learned in school, because I kind of came in midstream, I have the benefit of some of the memories that Alana kind of left me.

Myrna: What was the experience that the original soul left that a new soul came in? You mentioned something about a motorcycle accident.

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The soul agreement and game of life

Alana: In 2007 the original Alana experienced severe head injury, in a motorcycle accident and was in a coma for a good amount of time. And I would say that was the time that we kind of changed places you could say during that coma, whatever her soul had chosen was saying okay, this is going to be the conclusion of my adventure here on this earth game. I’m sure that she and I created a, soul agreement, that I would pick up where she left off.  And so I woke from the coma, started to understand, oh, this is the new life experience. These are some of the rules. These are some of the ways that she lives. These are some of the things that she did, these are some of the people that she knew, and I kind of just picked up the roll from there and carried on.

Myrna: How does a, walk-in soul, take us to the, matrix?

Alana: Yeah, so, you know, we use this term, matrix, or we use this term like the, game of life. Basically, it’s an experience inside of, consciousness. And the interesting thing is people identify the, matrix, or the ego as the limitations, the obstacles, the challenges, the lack or the struggle of trauma, those types of things, right. And sometimes people identify the matrix as this force outside of us, like the government or you know, all of these other limitations; but in reality, what you need to see is the limitations are how our subconscious designs our, game of life.

The matrix or, game of life, is to be played based on what our soul identifies as wanting to experience inside of, consciousness. And so, when I talk about limiting suffering, it can be as simple as changing the way one identifies inside of consciousness. Because the way that we identify inside of, consciousness, will define the experience that we have.

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What is consciousness

Myrna: Well, you know, that 99.9% of people don’t even know, what is consciousness. We just show up play the, game of life. We’re in the matrix and you know, it’s tumbling us around and we’re reacting to outside stimulus. But consciousness is a big word. And even though I’m in the space of, awareness and, consciousness, and, trying to create my own reality. I know that I’m not at the top of the game.  So, when you are saying that we’re limited in our, consciousness. Explain for the layman what that means.

Alana: So there’s four ways to experience reality. And as you said, 99% of people have that perspective that life happens to them that they’re kind of a victim to circumstances. So, they are at the entry level of the, game of life. When people have an awakening, they start to experience a level of consciousness where they start to realize, I’m actually the observer in the game. I’m able to transcend these limitations and look at them with a different context, a more divine perspective.  All of a sudden they are able to take themselves outside of that victim-hood and say, wait, there’s something else going on here.

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The matrix illustrates how to play the game of life

And that’s what the movie “The Matrix Movie” kind of illustrates. He takes the red pill or the blue pill and all of a sudden, he realizes the game isn’t what he thought it was. Similar thing happens when people have an awakening. So, the stage that comes after the observer, is we’re starting to notice okay, I can see the way this works a little bit differently. It’s not necessarily happening to me, but I’m participating in it in a way that I can’t quite explain. Then we get to manifesting what we want in this, matrix.

I know a lot of people who are really getting on to the idea of manifesting using affirmations, using depth of beliefs to create inside their experience. So now you’re not only just observing life, but you’re playing as a creator. In my experience, I can create my prosperity through my belief, I can create my relationships in a different way through my belief, now I understand myself, and we really have kind of left the victim hood and started to be more of a creator. When you play the, game of life, as a creator, it’s like putting their heart, their skin, their dreams, and their imagination into action.

And then once you really get to a place where you are merging with, divine consciousness, which can be known to some people as enlightenment, you know, we’ve had a lot of ascended masters that have set this example Buddha, Jesus all the other ones, right. This is where reality can be perceived as being created in real time, exclusively from our mindset. And so, this is where everything in our experience is a manifestation of the mind.

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

The matrix is the quantum field

Myrna: Sure, so from what I remember of the, matrix, you know, there was a body, sitting in a chair, and he took the pill and he was going to the Oracle and the Oracle said that he was the One.  But that reality of the matrix didn’t actually affect the body. Right? Because there’s one time he got shot in the matrix and he was sitting a chair still alive. So, help us play the game where we’re in a matrix, which is the, quantum field, and then we’re in our body. How does that work?

Alana: Well, I mean, there’s a lot of layers to it. The first thing that I find is most valuable for everybody is we’re all the guy. We are all the One. So everybody is in their own unique matrix.  What “The Matrix” the movie was trying to show is that we’re inside of a game, we’re, consciousness, inside of a game. And so, our reality is a merging of the, game of life, outside the body.  When he realized he could control the game he says, why don’t I change it? Why don’t I change the rules? Why don’t I change the way I interact with it? Why don’t I populate it? And that is where he’s able to start to control his reality, which is what we’re talking about.

And he’s able to watch himself participating in real time, which is like what manifesting is, you know, you set your intention or what Dr Joe Dispenza talks about and “Becoming Supernatural” you can heal yourself, but only because you made yourself aware of your capacity to do so. So, my cheat code that the matrix illustrates so beautifully is that our mindset is everything. How we identify is everything. We identify ourselves as always running after our next paycheck. The paychecks are going to keep running away from us. If we identify ourselves as somebody where money is running to us, money will run to us.

Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

The Game of Life leaves clues

The game of life, this movie The Matrix, that’s a clue, the book The Secret, that’s a clue. And there’s so many clues that are kind of naturally built into the game. And one of my favorite ways to understand the clues is to look at the life of children. Because children know how to play the, game of life. They haven’t picked up the muck that kind of makes us forget. And so, what do they do? Kids play dress up, they use their imagination. They pick up a block, it becomes a car, right? Kids know how to play the, game of life, and then we pick up beliefs and the baggage from society. And just increase our degrees of forgetting until we find it again.

Myrna: How we can get in touch with you if you’re on social media. Tell us your handles.

Alana: Yeah, beautiful. My handle on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/akiataetheric/ and Tiktok is @akiatsetheric. If they follow me I share a lot of juicy mind bending ideas and concepts. But most importantly I have this experience called the mirror dimension. And if you go to mirror-dimension.com You’ll find my membership there we meet weekly to learn how to read your reality. It’s really easy, accessible, low-cost program for people to come in and start to learn about themselves to learn about the conscious experience playing a, game of life, learning all the cues.

I find it very important for us to include unpacking people’s personal experiences as demonstrations of what does this clue mean? What did that challenge what was that challenge trying to say? So, we workshop in real time in the mirror dimension to learn how to be better creators in our reality.  It’s a really incredible workshop style experience for people to come and learn and grow.

Additional Resources

How to Win at the Game of Life

 

A New Way Of Life After Oil and Soil Crises

In his book A new way of life, Author Samy Barnat talks about life after crises.  He discusses the, climate change crisis, water crisis, economics crisis, war crisis, pandemic crisis and , oil degradation crisis.

Download the podcast here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10626659-a-new-way-of-life-after-oil-and-soil-crises.mp3?download=true

Bio:

Samy Barnat is the author of A New Way of Life: Be the Solution to the Crises we Face: Increasing Deaths from Climate Change, Lack of Water and Food, Economic Crises, Fake Democracy, Risk of War, and Future Pandemics.

Samy Barnat is an independent multidisciplinary researcher in human sciences. His multi-disciplinary background (psychology, politics, economics, philosophy) gives him a rare global vision that many experts lack. His independent research incorporates outside the box thinking. Both precious elements for finding global solutions to the global crises we face.

The soil fertility crisis

Samy: If you have the best, mindset, but your environment is toxic, and we have a toxic society, that’s kind of a big problem.

Is there a job for everybody?

It’s a simple question, you can have the best, mindset, possible but if the economy is structured in a way that there is not a job for everybody and we have little money, you’re going to be stressed. Or if you are constantly having anxiety of being fired. It’s also the way the environment is being destroyed, the, crises, is we are destroying our environment. Very few people know that, soil fertility, is a growing problem. The, soil, is being destroyed by the way we do agriculture now.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Sadhguru save soil initiative

Myrna: Yeah, I have just become aware of #savesoil, Sadhguru is traveling 30,000 KLM to promote, save soil. I interviewed a member of his team a couple weeks ago. Yeah, we’re talking about food. We’re going to talk about your book, A New Way of Life, later on. How is politics and Philosophy connected?

Samy: Everything is kind of connected. That’s something I think we are all starting to realize that everything is kind of connected. Your mental health is connected to politics and economics, because if you don’t have enough money, you’re going to get stressed and if the environment is not fueling growth, you are going to be stressed.

If you are worried that your kids are not going to have a good future, because you can’t afford their education, you are going to be stressed. That is why politics and Philosophy are connected. It takes leaders like Sadhguru to increase awareness.

Myrna: I see what you mean, because the politicians are directing our future. Whether it’s health care, getting rid of student loans or price of oil. I thought you were saying that politicians, use psychology to get us to vote for them.

Samy: Absolutely, you’re totally right and in a very manipulative way.

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TuneIn Radio

The personal development crisis

Myrna: I like what you said about having a, healthy mindset, is very important for, personal development. Personal development, is a big topic. I’m in the, personal development, space and the, mindset, space. The mind dictates everything. What we believe dictates our level of development, because most people don’t do the work to control their, mind. What is a healthy mindset? How does our, mindset, control anxiety and stress?

Samy: The idea is simple. It’s just we have, positive emotions. And it’s very important to understand this. I mean science it’s only about principles. When you study science, you study principles, it’s like the laws of nature and gravitation in physics. Our, emotions, have their own loads which were created by God.

You have, positive emotions, when your, desires, are realized. And you have, negative emotions, when your, desires, are not realized. So, for example, a baby cries because a, desire, of food is not realized. As an adult if you have an objective, to study and to pass an exam and you fail the exam, you have, negative emotions. You can find as many examples as you want; but the essence it’s about, desire. So, as a result, we have to be extremely careful what we, desire, because if we have impossible, desires, we suffer from anxiety and stress.

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Desire and our emotions

So first of all, we have to be careful what we, desire. We need to make sure we have, realistic desires, all the time, so many people don’t do that. It’s better to reduce your objective. So at least you will be in peace emotionally. You know what I mean? Because you don’t want to be suffering all the time. We should question everything in the light of this principle, ambition.

And deeper than that, it’s our personality, and that I think so many people need to hear this. So basically, our, personality, or what so many of us call our, personality. It’s kind of a, desire, which we were told.

So, for example, so many people, they have a, desire, to be the best and they think that’s who I am. I want to be the best. I’m the best, they have this, internal dialogue. It’s a program really, it’s an, unconscious program. And it was taught by their parents as a kind of a, life strategy. If you try to be the best, at least you can get the best job, the best partner etc.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

The type A personality crisis

They don’t realize that a, type A personality, is  actually the cause of their pain. If your, desires, are not realized, you have, negative emotion. So, if you try to always be the best, it’s just impossible. So, every time you’re going to feel like you’re not the best, you’re going to feel sadness, stress, anxiety. It’s kind of a, crises, of constant stress, and you don’t understand why. You don’t know where it comes from. It actually coming from what you call your, personality.

But it’s not your, personality.  As a human being you are able to recreate yourself all the time, to adapt all the time. So, you should absolutely not cling on to an, unhealthy desire, which is to be the best. This is a, crises.

Myrna what you are doing is very helpful in the, personal development, space. It’s about, NLP, neuro linguistic programming, which is simply, reprogramming our mind. It simply reprogramming with new words, new desires, a new personality, etc. Like saying no,  I’m not always the best, sometimes I’m weak, I’m not always clever, sometimes I am stupid.

Myrna: So basically, it’s about, reprogramming our mind with, affirmations.

Book A new Way Of Life solutions to the crises we face
Book A new Way Of Life solutions to the crises we face

A New Way of Life A solution to the crises we face

Myrna: Tell us about your book, A New Way of Life Be The Solution to the, Crises. Tell me what made you write the book? We face many, Crises. You talk about,

  • climate change crisis
  • lack of water crisis
  • economics crisis
  • war crisis
  • pandemic crisis
  • Soil degradation crisis

We have a lot of crises So, tell us what solutions you offer in your book?

Samy: Okay, so yeah, so, basically, I’ll start with what I think are the most urgent, crises, and then we can move on from there. So, the, soil degradation, crisis,  it’s something we hear so little about in the media. It’s so important because the way we do agriculture is actually destroying the, soil. So, in the world you have a lot of places where this desertification has started.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Soil desertification has started

So, the soil is becoming sand. It’s not very productive in terms of food, and that’s a big deal. A, crisis, will start to emerge in a more dramatic way. We are all going to be affected by that. We cannot just rely on our politicians to take care of these big issues.

We’ve seen it with, climate change, for example. They knew about, climate change, for 30 years, and they have done very little because of the lobbyists who put pressure on politicians and big corporations like Exxon.  They don’t want to do anything about, climate change, because it was going to make them lose money.

The other, crisis, we need to worry about is the end of the end of, oil. Our life is based on, oil. Food is produced with, oil, agricultural machines need, oil. Everywhere in the world, more than 60% of the population were working as farmers. So that gives you an idea of society before, oil.

Oil, is everywhere, all the products, almost the job of everybody is completely relying on, oil. All the products are imported with, oil, for trucks, and boats from the other side of the world. And that includes food or whatever you sell, whatever your company’s selling, it’s relying on, oil, so when we go towards the end, it means it basically means the collapse of the economy.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The oil crisis

Myrna: I understand about the, soil, because they are depleting the nutrients of the, soil. And the soil is becoming sand. I don’t understand an, oil crisis, because, oil, is supposed to be limitless. Why are you saying that we’re going to run out of it?

Samy: So, you know, all resources are limited. I mean, half our planet is finite. It’s limited.

Myrna: Oil, is all over the place. All you got to do is dig. They just found, oil in Guyana. Apparently, you can go dig in your backyard and might find, oil.

Samy: Okay, so you can see the graph showing discoveries. The peak of discoveries was quite a long time ago. So, it means since that time, we discover every year less and less, oil. We still discover some, but the question is, is it going to be enough for the global economy? It’s a question of quantity.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

Will oil be depleted in 30 years?

Myrna: Politicians are looking at ways to not use, oil. They’re looking at energy efficient ways. So that’s what they’re starting because maybe they know that maybe in 30 years or something, the, oil, will be depleted. But I personally think that we live in an abundant world, that everything that we need is right here, and it’s not limited.

Samy: Yeah, so the, oil crises, I’m speaking about, the data came from people working in BP, and Shell Exxon. They give me numbers about when we will reach the end of, oil. You can you can check this on internet because those reports are for free. But it gives us a rough estimation, the end of, oil, would be around 30 years around 2050. But what we should worry about is the end of, cheap oil, because even if we still have, oil, if it becomes too expensive then that it is the end and society collapses.

For example, we’ve seen now in Spain, it gives us a glimpse of the future. Because of the, war with Russia, the supply of oil in Europe is limited. Okay, so in Spain, what happened is that truck drivers, the oil increased so much that they could they couldn’t earn a living. They basically had more charges, compared to earnings, so they stopped working.

Myrna: it was happening in the US too. A lot of truck drivers protested at the Canadian border for same reason, gas prices too high.  The diesel fuel is twice that of regular gas.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict
Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

Solutions to the oil crisis

Samy: This gives us a glimpse into the future, the end of, cheap oil, will affect our lives. Oil, is the basis of modern society.

Myrna: Okay, all right. So that’s a good reason for people to get your book.  So, do you offer solutions in your book? What was the reason you wrote the book, and what do you want people to walk away with after reading your book?

Samy: So basically, it’s about preparing your family. I’m saying the first thing you should worry about is your family. In France, there’s much more awareness on this topic and many people they have started to buy land. You need land because when society collapses it is going to be violent. When you don’t have food, people fight.

The second solution would be to have your local community prepare for the, oil crisis.  So, it’s kind of the solution I’m giving in the book. So basically, what I’m saying is we need a new way of doing politics.

Conclusion

Myrna; All right, tell people where they can get your book so they can get your solutions to all these, crises.

Samy: So basically, if you go on https://samybarnat.com/ you will find links to all social media and the book, so you can you can just get there.

Myrna: Okay, all right. Okay. All right. So yes, and of course, the book is available on Amazon. So yeah, it’s me. It’s been we had a really good conversation and we covered a multitude of topics. I specifically love your take on why people are happy or unhappy. Thank you.

Additional Resources

Transform Your Mind With Alchemy

 

Using Authentic Power to Heal After Trauma

Authentic Power, is when our personality works in alignment with our soul, when you get still and connect with your higher power or higher self.

This week on the Transform Your Mind podcast I interview Ashley Bernardi, author of Authentic Power.

Download the Podcast Here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10073329-using-authentic-power-to-heal-after-trauma.mp3?download=true

Bio

Ashley Bernardi opens up about losing her dad as an eleven-year-old and trying to save his life alongside her mother and sister as he suffered from a sudden death heart attack. She ignored the trauma, grief, and guilt from the horrifying experience for years after being told she was “so strong” in trying to save her dad’s life and attempting to move on. In her 30s, she suffered from a debilitating mystery illness that left her bedridden and unable to care for her three children.

It was then, in a state of despair and hopelessness, that she began to feel the pain and “mess” she had been ignoring – her illness, grief, and trauma – and found the true healing and growth that she had been searching for her entire life. For years, she had pushed her trauma aside to maintain a “mask” of strength for others, yet her feelings came out in other ways – in people-pleasing, alcohol use, in destructive relationships, and eventually, making the devastating effects of her mystery illness even worse.

Authentic Power, teaches us that our darkest hours are disguised as an opportunity to uncover and process, feel, heal, and grow from our mess.

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Finding Your Authentic Power

Myrna: What was your journey to finding your, authentic power?

Ashley: I was so horribly, physically ill. And on top of that had been diagnosed with, postpartum depression, after the birth of my third child, that I was forced, I had no choice, but to sit still and surrender to the pain, the physical pain, but also the mental image, mental, emotional, and spiritual pain that I had been bearing since I was 11 years old. But that’s where the healing happens. That’s where that little sliver of light in all that pain, I felt it, I saw it, I held on to it.

I taught myself how to move through and process all of this, trauma. And here I am today, that’s what my book is all about, authentic power, give yourself permission to feel. And I say, authentic power, because that really starts with accessing the wisdom within by getting still turning off all the noise around us. Finding your own authentic voice of what it is that that your body, mind and spirit are calling you to process. And so that’s where that’s really where the story begins.

Myrna: Yeah, that’s an amazing story. You’re right, when you said that, you hope that everybody goes through the long journey as you. You talked about holding on to your pain, and then having it come out as disease, depression and people pleasing.  You got healed from, Lyme disease, and you started meditating and finding the power inside of you.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Why choose Authentic Power?

So, tell us why, authentic power? Once you start to feel and acknowledge your feelings, how does that transform to, authentic power?

Ashley: Oh, that’s such a great question. So, this really goes into, has anyone asked you a simple question, how are you? We always say we’re fine, right? Usually, that’s not the truth.  In that moment. It’s like, well, I’ve got a lot of things going on. So, I think like in society, teaches us to mask our feelings because nobody really wants to know, right?

We have social media, Instagram, where we post all the great pictures of the family. There’s just the lack of truth and vulnerability. And I found that in my own life, I was lacking that truthfulness to myself. And I was lacking being vulnerable with myself. And so, when I got truthful and vulnerable with myself, therein lies my authenticity, which is so powerful.  You can actually create by going within and listening to that inner voice.

And you mentioned a couple healing modalities that I use to access my, authentic power. Meditation is one of them. Getting quiet and getting still work for me and so was healing yoga. And then also during my healing process, I discovered something that I call the field framework.  Which is a technique for me to really go into those messy and uncomfortable emotions, process them in real time allowing me to move through those emotions, and therefore kind of clearing the space again, for me to access my, authentic power.

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Listen notes podcast
Listen notes podcast

You Don’t have to be strong all the time

Myrna: So yeah, when you can feel, you become vulnerable and don’t have to be so strong.  Women we feel that we should be so strong, it’s a badge that we wear.  We love hearing, Oh, you’re so strong. Oh my God. Nobody wants to be vulnerable. Right? They want to be the Superwoman. And you know, women usually are Superwoman, looking after the kids, they’re working, and taking care of their men.

Ashley: I’m so glad you mentioned that. It’s so funny because my original title for, authentic power, was not so Strong, because I really felt not strong, despite wearing that mask of strength for so long. And that’s something that we do in society. I did that before my health crisis, I wanted to look like Superwoman, I was the one that was pureeing the baby food and making sure my husband had dinner on the table every night, and people pleasing everyone around me, except myself.

When I had my own self, my own health crisis, I had to, I had to look at my own self-worth and value my self-worth, not what other people thought of me. And that really stopped me in my tracks. So now, I don’t try to be superwoman at all. I get a lot of help and I put boundaries in place saying.  I tell my husband dinner on the table is not happening tonight. I tell my team this project not going to get done today.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

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Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

Stuffing Down Guilt and grief

Myrna: Awesome now I’ve read your book, I know that you felt a lot of, guilt, because on your father’s death, because you felt that there’s something that you could have done. So, what was it that you stuffed down for 20 years or so? Was it, guilt?

Ashley: That’s a great question. It was 100%, guilt. I felt guilty because when my dad was actively having a heart attack, I didn’t run to go by his side to give CPR. My mom and sister did, I ran to go call 911. I also ran to the neighbor to get help. So, for so long, I was like, what if I had gone and given him CPR to help my mom and sister? What if I had been the one to do that? There are so many what ifs.  As a child I buried that guilt within me very, very deeply. I also buried the, grief.

So before, before my health crisis, which you know, really is was my greatest awakening, I see, Lyme disease, as my greatest gift, and I’m so grateful for it. It allowed me to really look deep and face my, grief.

Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV
Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV

Facing your grief

I never visited my father’s grave, alone. That’s how much I did not want to deal with facing his death. I did not allow myself to grieve. I’m sure there were sometimes when I cried, but in the early days of, grief, it was just straight up in shock. My dad died very suddenly, it wasn’t a slow death, one day he’s there the next day, he is not. So, the, grief, was a very uncomfortable feeling for me. It was very, very scary, and I didn’t want to face the fact that my dad was gone.

And even afterwards, in middle school, and high school, I would have friends come over, I wouldn’t even tell them that my dad had died. They didn’t know my dad had died. They had to ask other people like where’s Ashley’s dad? Oh, yeah, we heard he passed away. So that’s what bearing, grief, looks like. But I can say now, here I am. 27 years later, just this year, because of all the healing work that I’ve done. I visited his grave by myself for the first time ever.

And I’m so proud of myself, because it was just an incredible way to show how far I’ve come, how long the journey has been.  And when I did, it was so beautiful. And I found that it is possible to have relationship with your loved ones, even in death. And that’s something that’s very important. I want to stress that I thought that once my father was dead, he was gone, but I talked to him. I pray for him. I visited him, I cried with him at his gravesite.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

What is authentic power?

Myrna: That’s awesome.  What does it mean to have, authentic power? How did dealing with your, grief, give you, authentic power?  Why do women need, authentic power?

Ashley: That’s a great question too. Therein lies our truth.  It’s also about surrendering to your power because I would also stuff down my power. I’ll give you an example. My entire life, I’ve been told that I’m too sensitive. Oh, Ashley’s more sensitive than the average bear. And I thought that being sensitive was a flaw of mine. I feel everything. I’m an empath. I feel other people’s feelings. And I what I learned when I went through my health crisis, when I began to really feel into this emotion was that my sensitivity is my superpower!

It was then I got really quiet and still and listened to that inner wisdom, which is our, authentic power. I use that sensitivity when I’m feeling a little bit energetically overwhelmed. I know that I need to go step away and be by myself for a little bit. I know that I need to go recharge, I know that I can pick up on other people’s, emotions, and so, authentic power, can also help us accept and honor our gifts.

So, for me journaling helps me unlock my, authentic power, but that can also be done in a quiet meditation and walking through nature. This could be done in prayer, too. That is the inner wisdom, that could be from the Divine, it could be from your higher self, or it could just be from that, that within you, which is what your, authentic power, is.

Myrna: Yeah, that’s awesome. A lot of nice little nuggets there. Yes. You know, I’m a meditator, myself, I meditate every morning. Sitting on my meditation cushion, I listen, and I get still.

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Healing from Lyme Disease

How did you heal yourself from, Lyme disease?  You were bedridden, you couldn’t do anything for yourself. It dropped you on your back. Literally.

Ashley:  I’ll paint the picture of what it looked like and then I’m, I will share how I feel. So, this is what it looks like. I mean, for anyone who’s had, Lyme disease, it can show up in so many different ways. For me it went undiagnosed for a very long time and wasn’t diagnosed until after I delivered my third baby.

This is how it started. I believe it was the summer of 2014. I started having symptoms that felt like the flu. I couldn’t keep any food down; I was nauseous all the time.  Those symptoms didn’t go away, and it kept getting worse. I had headaches constantly I started losing weight, I got down to the weight that I was before high school. I mean it was very dangerous. I seem to develop a food intolerance to everything I ate. Then I had so many weird things happen, my body would go numb, including my arms and legs. I would have muscle fat isolation so it would feel like I had things crawling on my skin at all times.

I saw so many doctors, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, postpartum depression, you name it. Then when I become pregnant with my third baby those symptoms mysteriously went away and I remember my OBGYN I am saying, pregnancy can do this.  It really does turn off the immune system because it knows you’re growing a baby inside you. The day that I delivered my third baby those feelings came right back.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Spinning out of control

I was sent home from the hospital four days later and it was downhill from there. I remember one time (and this is this was really my turn turning point in the journey) after continuing to see doctor after doctor, nobody could figure out what was wrong with me, the room started spinning and I started blacking out. I lost control my bowels and started Like urinating all over myself.

I just surrendered I said alright God you either take me now because I don’t want my family to suffer anymore or we going to heal together.  So, I started the healing process.  Healing was the slowest, most excruciating, physical, spiritual, mental and emotional process I ever went through. But I will say that the physical healing was only like 20% of the work that I needed to do. The other 80% came down to me working with energy.

Symptoms of Lyme Disease

Finally, I was diagnosed with, Lyme disease. I was so far off the deep end physically that they couldn’t treat me with just antibiotic pills. I had to have a PICC line installed to my heart. And for eight weeks I couldn’t lift my baby, so we moved in with my in laws.  I had I was on the highest dose of antibiotics Rocephin that they use to treat meningitis patients. I had a nurse come to my house, my husband would administer the antibiotic nightly, the nurse would come once a week and change my dressing.

I was not better after eight weeks; the healing took a full year. And this is where I say that, Lyme disease, was my greatest gift, because it allowed me to get still and finally address all these other feelings that had been buried since I was 11 years old. Those feelings of, trauma, and, grief.  I learned about the power of, affirmations, and journaling.  Every day I would write in my journal as if I was already healed. I would write in my like little book “I am feeling Awesome, my health is vibrant. I am well, I am healthy.” I would affirm it.

I found that journal the other day, the book is this thick of me affirming my health and wellbeing every day. And in addition to that, having a spiritual mentor and joining a church community and sharing my pain with others, being vulnerable and open helped with my healing. I could no longer wear that mask of strength because I was too sick. So, I finally opened up to my friends and loved ones what was happening to me.

Book Authentic Power
Book Authentic Power

Authentic power: Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Myrna:  So, finding that community as well as the power of connection is the path to healing and finding, authentic power. You’ve talked a little bit about your book throughout the conversation. Tell us about your book “Authentic Power.” What is it that you want the reader to walk away with after they closed the book?

Ashley: The book is for anyone who is faced with any sort of adversity in their lives, you know, I described my, trauma. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have to ever experience, trauma, like I’ve experienced, because every single person’s, trauma, looks very different. It could be the loss of a job, the loss of a loved one, the end of a marriage, the end of something.

My book is for anyone who’s looking to provide holistic healing in their lives and learning that these messy and uncomfortable emotions like, grief, trauma, despair, depression, that there could be a reason they might are there to actually teach us something.

I’m a true believer that these, emotions, that we feel on a physical level are meant to be addressed.  We have something to learn from every single, emotion.  I want my book to teach readers how to become aware of these messy and uncomfortable, emotions, and then get curious about why they are there. Check out Ashley on the web at https://ashleybernardi.com/

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-unleash-power-within/