On Today’s episode “5 Minutes with Coach Myrna”, I teach How to Use the Universal, Law of Action, to achieve Success in Life
In the first episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I shared the First Universal Law “The Law of Divine Oneness” If you missed that episode please download. I am teaching on the, 12 Universal Laws, because they are the blue print for a life by design. They are the rules of the game.
The 12 Universal Laws
Law of Divine Oneness,
Law of Vibration,
Law of Action,
Law of Correspondence,
Law of Cause and Effect,
Law of Attraction,
Law of Compensation,
Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy,
Law of Relativity,
Law of Polarity,
Law of Gender,
and the Law of Rhythm
Successful people and the Law of Action
Life is the only job that we don’t get a manual for and most of us leave this body as clueless as when we were born.
Today I want to teach on the:
The second Universal Law the, Law of Action,
Successful people are future oriented so if you are not taking action towards a vision or goal, you will remain stagnant.
Movement creates energy.
Newton First Law states – A body in motion stays in motion. If you, take action, towards your goals you will attain them. If you take, MASSIVE action, towards your goals you will attain them much much faster.
1. Because we are spiritual beings having a human experience, your higher self, which is your source, GOD, gives you guidance in the form of thought or dreams. When you act on that guidance it opens the communication for more guidance. Acting on the guidance you get from your higher self will propel you in the direction of your purpose.
One way to gauge if you are moving in the direction of your purpose is your emotions. If you feel excited and happy to do the action then you are aligned. If you don’t feel good then it is not aligned to your goals or purpose and it is not from your spiritual guide. It is said that we have five voices in our head. You have to be able figure out who is speaking to you when you get direction.
The law of action: You have to do something
If you don’t know what action to take.
Ask yourself, What does successful people do?
Ask yourself again, What do I have to become to do something I have not done before? Taking action usually means stretching yourself to do something you have not done before. The, Law of Action, means taking action in the direction of your goals.
Playing to your strengths will not stretch you.
You have to go beyond your comfort zone and stretch yourself like a rubber band!
Would you like to know what a Life Coach does? A Life Coach prepares you your main goal in life by getting you to your purpose and then holding you accountable to make it happen.
Strengths can be categorized in two columns. The first column are the ones you are born with and the other, the ones you cultivated.
For example Warren Buffet tells the story that he was deathly afraid of public speaking, but he was born with the ability to do math. At a very young age he had the ability to take apart financial statements and understand the true value of a company; but he had zero ability as a speaker. So that was the strength he cultivated. He took action, he joined Toastmasters. The, Law of Action, at work.
Tony Robbins teaches that not only should take action; but you should take, MASSIVE action.
Most coaches will tell their clients, if you have a goal take some action towards that goal. If you want a Mercedes Benz then order a brochure or go test drive it. If you want to enroll in higher education, then go visit the campus and get information; but, MASSIVE action, is totally different. MASSIVE action, is quitting your job and starting your own business. MASSIVE action is Ed Sheeran getting on a plane and coming to America looking for a record deal, with no money in his pocket and sleeping on the subway until he found work! The, Law of Action, worked again, Ed became the biggest male pop-star on the planet!
Conclusion
Conclusion, take action, take, massive action, let the, Law of Action, propel you towards your goals.
Contact me for a FREE Downloadable copy my new e-book “How to Shift Your Mindset to Achieve Your Goals”
Thank you for tuning into 5 mins with coach Myrna, the, Law of Action, In our next episode we will look at the third law of the Universe “The Law of Correspondence”
Please remember to share this episode with your friends and subscribe and post a review.
Until next time Namaste
Millions of people suffer from at least one of the, compulsive behaviors, Compulsive shopping, Compulsive eating, Hoarding, Compulsive sexual behavior.
—often, even when the individual wishes they could stop—despite the fact that the act triggers negative outcomes, leads to interpersonal conflicts, or damages mental health.
Listen to full interview here:
Introduction to Compulsive Behaviors
Common activities that can develop into compulsions include, compulsive shopping, hoarding, eating, gambling, sex, and exercise. Though some behaviors are easier to over-indulge in than others, in reality, nearly any behavior has the potential of becoming a, compulsive behavior. Some people even talk compulsively, for instance.
There are also obsessive compulsive disorder, in which a compulsive person performs certain behaviors to relieve underlying anxiety or other negative emotions. A well-known example is a person who checks and rechecks everything—if the stove is turned off, for instance, or if the door is locked.
These behaviors rarely decrease anxiety in the long run; in most cases, they only provide temporary relief. In extreme cases, compulsive behaviors start to take over the person’s work, home, and social life, at the expense of normal activities.
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How are Compulsive Behaviors and addictions connected?
Compulsive behaviors, have a genetic effect and are often seen in identical twins. I know 17 year old identical twin girls who came into the foster care system at 4 years old and have had trauma. I attributed their, compulsive behaviors, to genes from their biological parents and environment from their early years in foster care. They started, compulsive behaviors, like stealing from about 5 years old, as they grew older that transformed into, compulsive shoplifting, then they started running away and couldn’t stop, now they are compulsively, hoarding.
Compulsion behaviors, often arise after stressful events, trauma, or abuse as we have seen in our study of addictions. When people engage in, compulsive behaviors, they become trapped in a pattern of repetitive actions or senseless thinking from which it can be difficult to break free.
Treatment is often key for overcoming, compulsive behaviors.
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How does normal behavior turn into, Compulsive Behaviors?
As far as the brain is concerned our rewards are reward important, so regardless of whether it comes from a chemical or an experience and you know that there’s a
reward and people who indulge in , compulsive behaviors, like gambling, eating, sex, and shopping, become trapped in the reward system of dopamine.
Types of Compulsive Behaviors
Compulsive behaviors, come in many forms, all of which can be quite debilitating or even dangerous.
Hoarding, for instance, are those who are unable to part with even the most worthless possessions. Many hoarders find the act of purging so distressful that they live under extremely crowded and potentially harmful conditions.
Compulsive shopping,
Compulsive eating
Over exercising
Hoarding
Compulsive cleaning
Compulsive Hoarding, is a psychiatric disorder which involves the accumulation of personal possessions to the point at which these accumulations interfere with your quality of life to a significant degree. The acquisition of “things” and failure to throw away unneeded objects can result in only mild symptoms of a cluttered home to a home which is too unsanitary for healthy living. At the current time, it’s thought that between two and six percent of the population is living with some degree of hoarding disorder.
Compulsively taking selfies and posting on social media
Compulsive sexual behavior or sexual addiction
What negative triggers enable Compulsive Behaviors like Hoarding.
The brain tricks us into thinking that we need the reward so we perform the, compulsive behavior, to re up the Dopamine
I know that as humans we move towards pleasure and away from pain. In my role as parent with kids who have, compulsive behaviors. These behaviors are cemented because they engage the reward centers of the brain.
How does one break that reward system for, Compulsive Behaviors?
Don’t wait until sexual temptation attacks you before you see it as a formidable force which seeks to destroy you. Its insidious tactic is designed to enslave you into sexual sins and keep you locked into erotic desires. How you perceive sexual temptation in your life, determines how well you will overcome its deceitful force, and walk in total victory.
“Naked and Ashamed, the Battle of Sexual Temptation.” is a Christian self-help book that explains what sexual temptation is, and gives you Biblical scriptures on how to control your sexual desires, and unnatural urges. With chapters such as recognizing the tempter, and rejecting the flesh, you will study strategies on how to recognize situations that tempts you, and learn how to keep your flesh under subjection. Although we will all be tempted sexually at some time, we can learn from this book on how to refrain from overreacting and falling into sexual bondage. So put on your seatbelt and get ready to be free from all of your unwanted sexual desires and temptations. Order “Naked and Ashamed, The Battle of Sexual Temptation” today! Written by Sheela Fields, now available on Amazon.
Sex Addiction Treatment
Let’s look at, compulsive sexual behavior, or sexual addiction. Sexual addiction, is represented by, compulsive behavior, in commonly available sexual practices, such as
Attending strip clubs,
Compulsive masturbation,
Paying for sex through prostitution,
Excessive use of pornography,
and repeated engagement in extramarital affairs.
Compulsive sexual behavior, otherwise known as sexual addiction, is an emerging psychiatric disorder that has significant medical and psychiatric consequences. Until recently, very little empirical data existed to explain the biological, psychological, and social risk factors that contribute to this condition. In addition, clinical issues, such as the natural course and best practices on treating sexual addictions, have not been formalized. Despite this absence, the number of patients and communities requesting assistance with this problem remains significant. This article will review the clinical features of compulsive sexual behavior and will summarize the current evidence for psychological and pharmacological treatment.
Dr Ahia What forms of, Sex Addiction Treatment, would you administer to someone suffering from, compulsive sexual addiction?
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How would you treat a youth that had the compulsion for taking selfies or even shoplifting?
Wildly Alive coach Nichole Wurth shares how having an, active lifestyle, could help you fight, coronavirus COVID 19, and become BFF’s with your body.
Journey to an Active lifestyle.
I was raised on Hamburger Helper and mac and cheese. I didn’t know the basics of nourishing your body or a healthy lifestyle. That was not something that was taught to me, so I got out of high school and I gained some weight. I did what most women do. I started dieting. I wouldn’t say that I had a big-time body image issues or self-esteem issues going into that whole experience; but after every diet I started to realize it took out a chunk of my self-esteem.
So after years of dieting if you would have looked at my body you would have thought damn she’s got it going on she’s so fit she’s so healthy. I want her body, I want her, active lifestyle. But in all reality even though I looked like I was living a, healthy lifestyle, I was an absolute mess inside.
I had disordered eating and disordered exercising and I was so lost in trying to have a, active lifestyle, I didn’t even see it I was I was obsessed with what I was going to eat and what I couldn’t eat. I was strategizing with every bite. It was strategy all the time. I was still deeply unhappy because before living this, healthy lifestyle, I blamed all my unhappiness and the reason why I don’t have a boyfriend, the reason why I don’t have a fulfilling job, or the reason why I don’t have …fill in the blank, was because of my body.
It’s very common for women to blame everything on their body, so now that I had lost the weight and I look fit and healthy and living a, healthy lifestyle, I no longer had anything to blame for my unhappiness. So again even though you would look at me and you think wow she’s an inspiration, honestly I was lost from disordered eating and disordered exercising. Most people they don’t even see it, and they’re broken. That’s how diet culture works. Diet culture intentionally breaks you, breaks your trust with yourself, so then you need a diet all the time.
That’s how I was for years. I didn’t trust myself without the guidelines, without the rules and other restrictions. I went through that whole journey. I lost the weight and I was worse than I was before I started that journey.
I start moving into like exploring okay how can I find happiness and freedom and a, healthy lifestyle, at the same time because dieting does not get you happiness and freedom. It feels very caged. That’s the philosophy of the wildly alive coaching program. I started coming up with this idea that your body is a living, breathing, feeling thing just like a plant. So if I went into my office every day and looked at my plants and said to them, you’re ugly and you’re not good enough and you need to try harder. I would have sent negative energy to them right they would rebel and not thrive.
The Ketogenic Diet is good for a healthy lifestyle
I think that’s where most women are. They look at their body as just this thing that’s hanging on them, that’s never right and will never be right, and they’re constantly abusing it. If you want to call it abuse or not, it really is, because you probably would never talk to your best friend that way or even your enemy. That is when I started really looking into instead of creating change from a place of shame, which diet culture teaches, if you just hate your body enough then you can change it shifting that to respect base change. learning how to respect our body as we are changing and reshaping it. The Ketogenic Diet is the new popular diet plan.
Food plays a very important part in our body image and women in particular, maybe even men. Men drink, women eat! I’m not sure, but a lot of times if you have emotional problems it shows up in what you eat. And yeah when you go to the gym, and you have a really nice body, that’s on the outside. You could still feel shame inside.
A lot of women could identify with, you’re overweight and you buckled down and lost the weight, they are now living a, healthy lifestyle, they go to the gym every day, they eat right and embrace, healthy living, so where is the reward. Where is the boyfriend or husband?
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What is an Active Lifestyle?
I gained all kinds of weight at the end of high school because I was in the industry and I was eating a lot of jalapeno, mayonnaise and French fries. It was like my favorite combination with Big Mac. The whole the whole world globally, we’re looking at the, coronavirus, and at, COVID-19, and everybody including all the health experts are now on talking about a, healthy lifestyle, because what we’re all now acutely aware that if you have a healthy immune system then you can probably get over this, coronavirus, illness. My, active lifestyle, programs started before people became conscious of, healthyliving. A, healthy lifestyle, is being wildly alive!
I wanted to create something like a like a bridge between the, covid-19, pandemic and, healthy living. I’m telling my clients right now is first and foremost and this is the basis of wildly alive coaching, is your mind is the most powerful muscle in your body and so just like with dieting.
And the constant feeling of stress, you have to change from the inside.
When I was dieting, I was constantly stressed, I was afraid of butter. I was afraid of red meat and so on and so on. Even though according to my little calorie counting notebook, I was eating
all of the right things; because I was so stressed over the food, that I was unhealthy. Stressing about everything you put into your mouth is not a, healthy lifestyle.
What is the Feminine approach to a Healthy Lifestyle
This is a respect based approach to, healthy living. If I can help show you how awesome your body is, and how it’s doing so many things right now, in this moment, then what will start to happen is, you’ll start to recognize that your body is always talking to you. She’s always speaking to you. She can guide you on the best things to eat and the best ways to move and how to thrive in this whole self-care thing. You don’t need a plan, you don’t need somebody telling you what to eat and how to exercise and what to do to feel happy, your body can tell you all of that.
We live in this Western society that just cuts you off at the head and makes you think that all your body is or something you manipulate, that’s all it is it’s just this mass, that has no voice or no wisdom. So when you start opening up the lines of communication with your body, you start to listen to it. You start to feel really good. It is just like when you get a cut you don’t have to look at the cut and be like okay white blood cells come do your thing. No the white blood cells are on it. They start forming a scab around the cut and the processes of healing begins.
Our bodies are so smart that we can’t even conceptualize and wrap our mind around all the brilliance of our body. So if I can teach you some of that, and I can show you how awesome your body is and how she is here to guide you. She’s here to guide yourself care and, healthy lifestyle, and she’s also here to guide you on your life choices.
The feminine approach to an, active lifestyle, is really is a woman’s 28-day cycle if you’re menstruating. As women we have a 28-day cycle and that 28-day cycle mirrors the moon. There’s four phases within our 28-day cycle and also within the moon cycle. Those four phases also mirror the four seasons of the planet. A, healthy lifestyle, includes following your cycle.
For example just to make this really simplified, when you’re bleeding it is the New Moon phase.
When we’re having our period we tend to be more hibernating, we’re not as extroverted. This is our introverted time. This is the time when we reflect and restore. This is our winter time so if you’re ever confused you just look at the season the new moon. So when you’re bleeding doing a high intense workout it’s probably not the best thing for your body. If you’re on hormonal birth control or you’re not having your period, just start tracking the moon and your body will start syncing up with it.
Vice versa the full moon is your ovulation or summer phase. You are hyper energized. There’s lots of growth, there’s lots of expansion, there’s lots of extroverted energy and so this is a really good time for an, active lifestyle, in terms of movement. Now is the time for that high intensity workout or doing that new salsa high intensity class.
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Wildly Alive self-care and, Healthy lifestyle, coaching program
Wildly alive is about Shame -based change is by telling yourself you can’t have those things and you’re a bad person if you eat those things, so just to flip this on the head a little bit and think about it from a respect based change. I always tell my clients I would never tell them they can’t eat things ever unless they have an allergy to something, that’s a whole different conversation. Telling yourself you can’t eat bread because this study says that bread is bad for you. I don’t think that’s enough to really shift into respect based change. I’m a huge believer in moderation. I think a little bit of everything is okay. So have the bread or have the beer, really sit and enjoy it. If your body starts to say to you, I feel bloated every time I drink a beer, then make some changes. Drink half a beer or try a different beer.
Here are the mechanics for a, healthy active lifestyle, during covid-19
trying keeping the energy light in our house
limit media, limit the news because it is mostly negative
have a lot of sunlight.
getting outside and connecting with nature. Being in nature boosts your immune system. I also love to bring nature into my house. I have lots of my salt lamps.
An, active lifestyle, starts with some sort of movement on a regular basis. It could be going out for a walk, it could be yoga, it could be bike riding. Exercise calms your nerves.
drink a lot of water
increasing your vitamin C intake. I’ve been making this lemon ginger juice.
stay open to the lessons of the, covid-19, pandemic
I read somewhere that you were disappointed in Oprah. Please share why that is.
I would to preface this statement with I do love Oprah. I love her in so many different ways as a woman, as a woman of color. She is breaking the mold and I love her for so many reasons; but a few weeks ago, I was watching an interview with her in Lady Gaga and she’s on stage and they were talking about mental health and I loved it. I was like yes I love this conversation they’re about mental health, this is such an important part of health right now. But then I started seeing WW everywhere and I was like what is WW? It was Weight Watchers and I was so devastated in that moment because Weight Watchers is diet culture. It’s the epitome of diet culture. They were having this beautiful conversation about mental health and calorie counting. Weight Watchers has been proven to be mentally unhealthy. It was so sad.
I still love Oprah, I know she’s human. I know she’s flawed. I forgive her.
Do you have any special programs or coaching programs that promote a, Healthy Lifestyle
I do have a new free challenge called the embrace and reach your body challenge, that will start in a few weeks. You could go to wildlyalive.com flash challenge.
What you think about you bring about, so intrusive, thoughts activate the Law of Attraction. To get into the, vortex, and activate, the law of attraction, for the things you want, reach for the best feeling, thoughts, in every moment.
If you want to heal the body you must first heal the mind `~ Plato
Listen to Podcast Here:
You create your physical condition through your, intrusive thoughts activate the law of attraction. That means you can think yourself sick or think yourself well. I have healed pain in my body many times by focusing on healing energy so in the reverse you can heal yourself by, intrusive good feeling thoughts.
Disease is the result of blocked energy and that is why the body scan chakra meditation is such a powerful healing tool.
Relax and breathe deeply is the first response to any illness.
Try this next time you feel pain in your body, use these, thoughts, to bring about healing:
Imagine a light like the sun or moon entering your body through your breath. Send that light directly to the pain area hold it there for a few seconds. Then breathe out and imagine you are collecting the pain and breathing it out.
The Magic of Commitment Focus, Thoughts
You are either doing something or you are waiting for something to happen. You are either committed to someone or something or you are not.
Obstacles become opportunities when you are committed.
With commitment, failure is not an option.
Get clear of what you want and why you want it. These, thoughts, help you focus and stay committed
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The Magic of Faith Thoughts become things: Activating the Law of Attraction
You have to believe and have faith that the current universal energy will carry you to all your desires that is why, intrusive thoughts activate the law of attraction, and faith.
Faith is essential to manifesting your desires. It is the currency of the spiritual world.
Trust God and have faith that he will give you the desires of your heart
The Story of My Life, first published in 1903, is Helen Keller’s autobiography detailing her early life, especially her experiences with Anne Sullivan. Portions of it were adapted by William Gibson for a 1957 Playhouse 90 production, a 1959 Broadway play, a 1962 Hollywood feature film, and the Indian film “Black”, which was directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali. The book is dedicated to inventor Alexander Graham Bell. The dedication reads, “To ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL Who has taught the deaf to speak and enabled the listening ear to hear speech from the Atlantic to the Rockies, I dedicate this Story of My Life.”
Your Life Theme and, personalities, shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes and the, 16 personalities types, that can compose your identity.
Introduction
John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman. He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill. That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, 16 personalities types, controls our communication.
He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are. That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions. Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.
How to identify our 16 Personalities.
John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale. That is how you read people.
Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun. I want to appease the, personalities, so when I walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down. I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.
Our, personality, as our way of expression. Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization. The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.
Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.
True, but I look at what do you like to do for fun? What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?” I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are. I am able to identify one of your, 16 personalities types, from this test.
Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You
Your Life Theme offers the, personality, framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.
You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or “Life Themes.”
These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.
These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.
These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.
While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.
They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.
Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.
The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator
An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.
According to, Myers-Briggs, theory of, personality types, people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:
Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:
Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
The 16 personalities types
The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.
The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.
The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.
The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.
All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:
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Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?
Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?
Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search “Productive on Purpose” on your favorite podcast player to listen today!
Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It’s time to start walking in our purpose, y’all.
The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:
The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
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As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.
What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.
All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:
To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com
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I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.~~Nathen Aaren
Nathan Aaren helps heart centered entrepreneurs merge all of their passions into one life mission. Plan, fund and build their, dream life, and business. He’s raised over 1 million dollars per client and worked with Fortune 500 Companies and Grammy Award Winning Artists including The Olympics, Adidas, CBS Sports, Lil Wayne and Ray Ban, and produces two podcasts which charted #1 on iTunes. After being homeless, he became an agent and landed his first 7 figure investment for a client, which later allowed him to create a reality series, “Chasing My Dreams”, which will air this winter 2020.
Listen to the full interview here:
Introduction – Homeless to living your, dream life?
Nathan – There are so many lessons that I’ve learned from being homeless; but really basically I started off thinking I was going to be super successful and then I ended up being homeless, locked out of my car. I hit rock bottom, one of many rock bottoms, and over the course of that time I learned a few things.
On one hand, I learned some things about navigating in the real world. The physical existence of this life; things about leveraging, money, leveraging resources, so that you can live from a place of abundance and not of scarcity.
I also learned some physiological things like meditation and even spiritual things relating to manifestation. When it came to the financial stuff, I realized that, I needed to stop thinking about money the way I was thinking about it. I feel that people generally speaking, either thinks about, money, and there, dream life, when they are in need.
You need Money to live your, dream life
When people or are not living the life of their, dreams, or have lack, they’re not going to be happy; but when they get that, money, they’ll be happy and start living their, dream life.
Then you have other people who demonize, money, and say, money, is not important, money, is the root of all evil (which is actually interestingly regularly misquoted from the Bible). Whatever side of the spectrum you’re on, we can find a middle ground and say, “I need human beings to help me with my mission, with my vision, and my, dreams, and with my goal of living my, dream life. If I need tools, if I need resources, if I need anything that you could possibly imagine, then I need to find a way to get you those resources.
I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.
Myrna – What happened that night you were locked out of your car. Did you start making a plan then?
Nathan – No that the night I remembered an event when I about 7 years old. I was about 7 years old – thinking who do I want to be? What are my interests as opposed to just thinking what profession do I want? This memory caused me to create so many tools for myself, for perspective and for abundance mentality.
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Things like gratitude, things like meditation, and also things like just coaching myself. Going on walks and coaching myself whenever I find myself in a negative thought pattern. I’ll walk round the block or sometimes I’ll walk for miles and I’ll just say okay “Nathan what’s going on, talk to me” then I’ll talk right back.
Myrna – So at seven you started thinking about your interests and what is was you wanted to do? When did you start visualizing your, dream life, and visioning things? You mentioned meditation, tell us about your end of life meditation practice.
We want to transition into visualizing your, dream life, the power of intention, rewriting your old programs and thinking about what you want to be at the end of your life. I guess that’s your end of life meditation correct?
Nathan – When I started figuring out the, money, side of things and helping people get funding, I started realizing that I was helping people get, money, for things that maybe they lost passion in. Maybe that they thought they liked that career and then changed their mind. Sometimes they got the, money, and they started working towards their goal, of the life of their, dreams, and was miserable because it was not their Dharma.
So I tagged into the beginning of my coaching process, this end of life meditation as a way of figuring out who you are. What you want to be doing with your life; just getting really clear. A lot of clarity, so that when you’re walking down that path and you get to the point where you get funding, when you get, money, for your personal expenses and your business expenses, that it is something that just can’t leave you; because it is who you are.
I really resonate with your Life coaching package, where in either your first or second episode where you talk about who am I; I love that process. I will admit, your program is a little better than mine! I just love helping people through that process of clarity. One of the tools I use is, the end of life meditation.
End of Life Meditation to Help you Live the Life of your, Dreams
Take some deep breaths and get into your core self. Get in touch with God, or source energy. Feel that connection, imagine yourself at a late age in life, maybe there’s a beautiful window and you’re looking out through the window.
You’re on a comfortable couch and you’re drinking your cocoa, your tea or your coffee and you’re in your last days let’s say you’re 95 years old. You look back at your life and you start to smile about all the people that you’ve met, and that you’ve connected with.
You look back and you’re feeling wonderful and you’re feeling grateful. You get Goosebumps of gratitude for this beautiful life. You start thinking about how beautiful it would be to just have one little moment to go back in time and just to experience life again, maybe 20 years ago to when you were 75. You start imagining what would it be like to go back to being a young whippersnapper of 75 years old. You ask yourself, was I living my, dream life, 20 years ago? If not, what would I change?
Then you go back 30 years ago to when you was 65 and you take some time there and ask the question. Was I living my, dream life? If the answer is no.
You go back 40 years when you was 55, and 50 years ago to when I was 45 and 60 years ago to when I was 35 and you start thinking about that and you say, what would I do if I had a little bit of time? What would I do differently to live the life of my, dreams.
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I’m very grateful for the time I’ve had here; but at the same time if I could go back, I would be a little bit more courageous. Would I tell that person that I loved them a little bit more. I would go out of my comfort zone and try something new and creative. If I could go back, I would make sure I lived the life of my, dreams. That would be so great and then you open your eyes and your wish has been granted and you get a second chance.
Myrna – Nice that’s a different spin to the one that I know. I know the 85 year old rocking chair test. What is the goal of it exercise?
Failure at living your, dream life.
Nathan – There are a few goals:
One is obviously to get perspective,
Another is continue to have a tool in your tool belt the ability to make tough decisions or to get yourself to do things that you know you should do; but you don’t have the confidence to do.
Myrna – One of your tools is teaching people how to crack the code on their, dream life, and I know you’re a financial person. Now, where is the code to finances? Is that has to do with abundance and scarcity? So talk about this cracking code on living your, dream life.
Cracking the code to financial abundance in your, dream life
Nathen – My life’s mission is to come together with other people and continue to build and learn how to crack the code to living your, dream life, so I’ve cultivated a lot of wonderful tools.
One of these tools is network sharing. We get together and we do that. We crack the code, we continue to ask questions, great questions, create great answers and great solutions.
Being around people who are like-minded and who are maybe five steps ahead of you in certain areas and in other areas you’re five steps ahead, is a great way that I’ve learned to just crack the code. The end of life meditation with the life design process that I teach basically allows you to start by first visualizing, then prioritizing and then planning.
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Nathan – So visualizing is a really important step, because when somebody just goes right into, visualizing the life of their, dreams, they might not know what it is they want to do. I start off by asking them what they want to do with their life, what is their, dream life? But most people don’t know what that is, we have to connect with God.
We have to connect with the Universe, source energy. I like to ask people some things they don’t consider which is preferences and non-negotiables. Preferences and non-negotiables are basically the foundations of your, dream life.
What are your preferences in your day-to-day activities and in your day-to-day life?
Do you want to wake up whenever you want? Go to sleep whenever you want? Or do you want to have a boss that tells you what to do. Do you need structure?
Your preference is ‘No I can’t have a boss’, I need to have my own schedule, do my own thing.
Some people’s preference is to travel the world, they want to be able to work from their laptop, other people are like – no I want to be in my home with my family, I don’t care about travelling the world, as long as I have a stable income that’s what matters to me.
So by knowing your preferences is important in visualizing your, dream life.
You prefer a certain kind of humor and like to be around people every day or you like to be by yourself.
Your non-negotiables may be your purpose. The big, sparkly thing that you want to do like help everybody become successful and you becoming a successful coach, or a motivational speaker etc.
Those are the day-to-day things that are going to really help you thrive on a day-to-day basis, so getting really clear on those things is super important. Once you have Fantasized and done your preferences and non-negotiables, then you have a clear understanding of what you want your, dream life, to looks like.
Myrna – I know that you have a course called Dream University. It’s an online course and you say it’s not like any other course. So tell our listeners about your Dream University and funding and how people can get resources and your course.
How to Plan Fund and Build your, Dream Life
Dream University is an online course that helps you plan fund and build your, dream life, and your dream business. The process that I’m kind of talking about now is loosely related to that course.
The course basically step one is you say okay
‘I’m going to take a step back from trying to be productive’ and ‘I’m going to figure my life out.
I’m going to take some breathing room and I’m going to say, what do I really want to be doing?
What’s going to light me up inside?
What’s going to make me feel great that when I am 95, I can look back on my, dream life, and I have those goose bumps and I feel amazing? I feel grateful and there are no regrets.
Once we we’ve really gotten clear on what it is we want from our, dream life, I have a one-page plan which is the idea of you. It’s a one-page vision. If you take it and you put in your hands or you stick it on your wall or on your desk and you can point at it and say I don’t know how I’m going to make this happen; but if I can make this happen.
I’ll be the happiest person in the entire world. That’s the idea, you have one page, you look at, you’re like that’s it, this page gives me the emotions that I want and I’m going for it, and in the process with all the tools I have, I’m going to strive to fully engage from full abundance and it will feel great.
How to get Funding for your, Dream Business
Step two is getting funding. Now the beauty of this is even if you don’t need funding this is like from my perspective a much more robust version of a business plan, where you have something that is interactive, that you look at and you can use to get funding, basically called a pitch deck. I call it a fill in the blank funding template (which allows you to fill in every single aspect that you need to present a presentation to someone for funding) whether it be an investor grants or crowd funding as well.
This presentation, not only does it work to get you money for your personal expenses like your rent or your mortgage, your bills, your gas, your food, your groceries and so on. You can focus on what you love full-time; but also for your business expenses like if you need to hire people, if you need to buy gear or equipment, if you need to pay rent for a space whatever it is, it allows you to have all the things you need.
So you can work from a place of abundance or scarcity. This business plan is a step-by-step road map to your business goals and, dream life. There are some aspects like the financial aspects that you can use to decide. Do I need money? How much money do I need to live my specific lifestyle?
Some people want to live very simply, some people don’t want to live very simply. They want to have all these special cool neat, unique things – all is great; but you can use it for two purposes. One for your personal life, two for your business life (get funding for your thing)
Step three is to grow and at that point it’s just really about helping people get the right strategies for the things that they want to do. Reverse engineering what their end result is and finding out how they want to do that.
So in business, usually that means building the thing that is the most value that you can provide to the world and then finding where the human needs are. You want to serve humanity and tap into those audiences so that you can serve those people.
Myrna – Tell our audience how they can connect with you on online or to how to join your group or to order your course.
If you guys want to check out Dream University you can go to www.nathen.tv Feel free to text me, my number is 310 807 1998.
Conclusion to building and funding your Dream Life
Thank you so much for tuning in to transform your mind, to transform your life radio hour and podcast as you see I bring you guests that can help you to transform your life. The first thing we need to start with is to visualize the life of your, dreams. That starts in your head. You can’t hold in your hand anything you don’t hold first in your head.
I want to give you a personal invitation to my Facebook Group called Life Coach. We have daily inspirations from me, coach Myrna and from dozens of other coaches who can also help you stay inspired during the week. Please subscribe to the podcast here:
Your Subscription helps to reach a wider audience. You know, we want to help.
If you do not take control of your, emotional intelligence, and thoughts, they will repeat in cycles. We have over 70,000 thoughts per day and 90% of these thoughts repeat over and over. That is why people get stuck in life, reliving the past like Groundhog day.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
Jenny R. Craig, LCSW, BCD is a, transformation, specialist, utilizing her expertise in assisting leaders in creating authentic, profound, long-lasting impact in their organizations and personal lives.
Emotional intelligence, is important because, Strategic planning, does not kick in until the mid-twenties.
Also any huge trauma changes the way the brain works.
As a, transformation, coach we give our clients tools and techniques that can move them through the darkness of being stuck in rewind, and into the light. The light is to find out your true purpose and discover who you really are.
Emotional Intelligence, allows you to do the mental work in living a purposeful life.
Here are four traits of Emotional Intelligence:
* Self Awareness: Knowing what we are feeling and why we are feeling this way.
Self awareness definition: They said that self-awareness is the ability to look inward, think deeply about your behavior, and consider how it aligns with your moral standards and values. When your behavior is out of alignment with your standards, you feel uncomfortable, unhappy and negative.
* Self Management: Handling distressing emotions so that they don’t cripple you. Self-management, which is also referred to as “self-control” or “self-regulation,” is the ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations.
* Empathy: Knowing what someone else is feeling. Being capable of walking in another man’s shoes. Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another’s perspective, to understand, feel and possibly share and respond to their experience. There are more definitions of empathy that include but is not limited to social, cognitive, and emotional processes primarily concerned with understanding others
* Skilled Relationships: There is not a better barometer of, emotional intelligence, than the quality of one’s relationships. When you put the top three skills together, you will have quality and healthy relationships.
Emotional intelligence, refers, to the ability to identify and manage one’s own, emotions, as well as the, emotions, of others.
Emotional intelligence, is generally said to include at least three skills:
emotional awareness,
the ability to identify and name one’s own, emotions
the ability to harness those, emotions, and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving
the ability to manage, emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own, emotions, when necessary and helping others to do the same.
There is no validated, emotional intelligence test.
Test for, emotional intelligence, looks for the general intelligence factor—and many argue that, emotional intelligence, is therefore not an actual construct, but a way of describing interpersonal skills that go by other names.
Despite this criticism, the concept of, emotional intelligence, sometimes referred to as emotional quotient or EQ—has gained wide acceptance. In recent years, some employers have even incorporated, emotional intelligence tests, into their application and interview processes, on the theory that someone high in, emotional intelligence, would make a better leader or coworker.
Conclusion
I am grateful that you have tuned into this podcast from all around the world. I believe that the spirit of God has attracted you here so that you can receive the insights, revelations and knowledge revealed on this broadcast. Whatever you need for this day in your life you will receive. I can truly say that your life will never be the same because a brain that has been expanded with knowledge can never return to it’s original size. I invite you to subscribe to this podcast so that you will receive new podcasts every week with more insights, revelations and knowledge so that you can live your best life now.
Visit me on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com and sign up for a free strategy session.
So how does it feel to be in a relationship with someone with, adult ADHD?
Here is one woman’s story af adult adhd
I dated 4 men with, adult ADHD, or ADD. One was predominantly hyperactive; two inattentive, one likely mixed. I fall under the vagueness of “mixed” myself, which means I show characteristics of hyperactivity — the impulsiveness, the occasional non-stop talk, the rash decisions — and inattention: the fuzziness, the daydreaming, the drifting off mid-conversation.
I learned the, ADHD, tricks early on like, touching him when I needed his attention and he was working. I learned to move my fingers from his face to mine — the universal signal for eye contact — when he began to drift off.
The two inattentive men, naturally tended toward household chaos, an inability to finish projects, and a desperate need for legal stimulants.
Understanding is the key to calming the chaos in the relationship.
I’m curious about, Adult ADHD symptoms. Does kids with, ADHD, become adults with, adult ADHD?
For clarity let’s make sure people understand the acronym for, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Individuals can have, attention deficit disorder, without the hyperactivity and that disorder is ADD. Things to keep in mind about, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or, Adult ADHD, is that, yes you can have, ADHD, in childhood and about 60% of kids grow up still having the same symptoms and become, adult ADHD. One of the interesting pieces about this is that it’s important for folks not to misconstrued information about what they’re seeing the adult exhibit. Certain characteristics of, Adult ADHD, can mimic other disorders like for example Thyroid disease.
Does the 40% of kids who don’t have, adult ADHD, become cured?
Not necessarily , they could have developed coping skills to manage the, ADHD, behavior so the symptoms were minimized. They could have also learned strategies on how to behave or how to compensate for the symptoms.
What are the different types of, Adult ADHD?
When you look at the diagnostic and statistical manual that psychologists use. It gives you clarity on how, Adult ADHD, is diagnosed. There are different types 3 types of symptoms that we see in, ADHD.
Inattention
Impulse Control
Hyperactivity
We have to go through the process and can’t have people diagnosing themselves or their children or anyone else with the disorder. Sometimes you have symptoms because people don’t have appropriate amounts of minerals in their body or they might be subject to low levels of magnesium. Things like that or people might have other diseases that might mimic, ADHD symptoms, so get these things ruled out with blood work.
ADHD in adults could mean you have an, ADHD, partner.
Here is what happening in their brain. What exactly is happening in the brain to cause someone to develop symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?
The Adult ADHD brain has impaired activity in four functional regions of the brain.
Frontal Cortex. This region controls high-level functions: …
Limbic System. This region is located deeper in the brain. …
Basal Ganglia. …
Reticular Activating System.
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Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?
Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search “Productive on Purpose” on your favorite podcast player to listen today!
Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It’s time to start walking in our purpose, y’all.
To test for, adult ADHD, one has to look at the functions of the brain. The neurotransmitter in the brain is affected in ADHD. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for how we organize our cognitive flexibility and being able to control ourselves and things that come into our frame of reference.
The Basal Ganglia helps to regulate communication within the brain, sending signals from one neuron to the other and is responsible for our motor control movement. The Basal Ganglia is also responsible for regulating emotional volatility and the Reticular Activating System is our major relay system. It controls the many pathways that enter and leave the brain and is responsible for arousal and consciousness.
Dr Gray who is the author of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus wrote an article in which he claims that men with, Adult ADHD, have problems committing to women because of the disorder. Do you agree with that statement?
No, not at all. I think there are other reasons that men can’t commit to women. Dr Gray is trying to give these men a pass. I would love to see his research.
Does, ADHD, medications cure the disorder?
Medications for, ADHD, are non-stimulant and stimulant meds depending on what the individual the parents would choose. I always think of other Alternatives besides the use of pharmaceuticals. I would rather use in a non-medication treatment or neuro feedback to help with symptoms of, ADHD. Bio feedback can cure the disorder, medication just masks or controls but never cures.
if you give anyone who clearly has, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, medication for 6 months and the other Bio Feedback for 6 months, you will see the difference in the treatment results.
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Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. ..That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.
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I came across an article from Dr Gray and he was specifically talking about men who develop, Adult ADHD, because of pornography. He said pornography is re wiring men’s brain and causing them to develop, ADHD. He said pornography also blocks love and connection with their partner.
One out of ten American children have been diagnosed with ADHD,
One out of seven American women over 55 will develop dementia,
Statistics reveal a greater risk of ADHD in children of divorced parents, particularly when boys are missing the regular influence of their fathers or their mothers are unable to find happiness
You can use your, intuition, in the, transformation, of your, business, by paying attention to signs. There’s signs like for example, you open a magazine and there’s something that pops out at you or a song comes on the radio and it triggers something you were asking the universe for an answer.
Jenny Fenig specializes in empowering creative women, entrepreneurs, to increase their confidence, impact, money and time-freedom by mixing modern and ancient practices. Jenny spent the first decade of her career in the corporate space as a public relations executive and event producer. Jenny then shifted her focus to working with, self-employed women, helping them package their magic to exponentially grow their, business, income and joy. She’s proud to lead the most trailblazing online community for transformational coaches, consultants, creatives and wellness professionals working with the energy of their intuition, the moon, and the seasons. Jenny is the author of “Get Gutsy” and also a podcast host. She was a Silver Stevie Award Winner for Coach of the Year.
Listen to the full interview here:
How Monpreneurs can use signs for Business Transformation
A mompreneur is a mom who is an, entrepreneur, working her business from home while raising her kids. A great visual is kid in one hand and phone in the other!
I tell you it’s actually one of the most beautiful things I know.
Myrna – You mentioned, intuition, and you mentioned vision and clairvoyance in your bio, can you share how, intuition, can help, entrepreneurs, in the, transformation, of their, brand.
Jenny – You can use your, intuition, for, business transformation, by paying attention to signs. There’s, signs, like you’ll open a magazine and there’s something that pops out to you or a song comes on the radio and it triggers something you were asking the universe for an answer.
Let’s say you’ve been struggling with something or pondering a question, you can get your answer from daily living. These, signs, will continue to be around you all the time you just have to to open to the universe talking to you. You’ll be in a conversation and someone will drop a line and you would be like that’s exactly what I needed to hear that day, so I’m a big believer of using, intuition, and, signs, to get answers to the, transformation, of your brand.
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You don’t need to be drinking from a fire hose, we’re living in a world with so much information, the news cycle never ends. Social media never goes to sleep.
So let’s connect the dots on, signs, and, intuition. Your mindset has to be open for instruction and inspiration. You have to have a mindset for, transformation.
Myrna – I received a, sign, one day I was reading the newspaper. I saw an article about a Life Coach. That was my, sign, and I used my, intuition, to know that becoming a, Life Coach, was my purpose.
How do entrepreneurs use intuition for transformation
This is where your own spiritual practice comes into play. You can just say to God or the Universe “I’m open, I’m ready, show me the way. Show me a, sign, help me use my, intuition, to know where to go next in the, transformation, of my, business. Then just open up just open up and trust and know that the answer may not come on your exact timetable, like within in the next hour; but it will come.
We are always being guided. We all have angels and guides that show you these, signs, and inspirations.
As women we get up get up and put on those heels and go to work Monday through Friday from nine to whenever, because that’s the game. That would be very much kind of the setup of the, sun. The, sun, is going to always rise in the East and set in the West. Women are not built to work with, sun, energy.
How women can use the feminine energy of the moon for transformation
On the other hand, when we look at the, moon, it is a more, feminine energy.
Women are very connected to energy of the, moon. The, moon, is in a different place in the sky every night.
It’s just so fascinating to me that as women our energy changes during the lunar cycle, just like the, moon’s, energy changes during the lunar cycle. I was never taught this growing up, it was something I learned over time. I was forcing myself to show up every day and be the same time like the, sun. I was doing this for decades.
How to use the phases and energy of the, moon, as, entrepreneurs
There are four main phases of each lunar cycle:
There’s 13 moons in a year and there’s 12 months in a year.
We go through a full lunar cycle when we go from a, new moon, back into another, new moon. The, moon, is always changing.
The, moon, is always changing and growing in terms of her light in the sky. When that light diminishes, we go through that entire lunar cycle and so at the beginning of a cycle we have what’s called a, new moon. When you see the light on the right side of the, moon, that’s when you know it’s a, new moon, you’re in a new phase.
This is when women can start their, transformation, journey because they can harness the lunar energy really tap into their vision.
New moon and Transformation
During the, new moon, phase, you will be resting, and renewing. This is where, transformation, takes place. You will be saying I want to put my energy and my focus for this upcoming lunar cycle on this project.
You can use a, moon, cycle magic tracker to help you use the phases of the, moon, for your, business, transformation. You could say, the date of the, new moon, is this, so I should be feeling this. My, intuition, should be this and my intention for this, new moon, should be this.
Setting a plan for your Transformation Art
My intention is, I’m going to be open
I’m going to be open to, signs
I’m going to be courageous
Get tactical on goals and vision.
Set a promotional plan for this, business transformation.
During this phase, I’m going to ramp up my health and fitness practice by ensuring that I sweat five times a week
The next phase of the, moon, cycle is the Half Moon. It is 7 days to a week after the, new moon. This is called a first quarter, moon. This energy is is connected to personal growth, action and commitment. This is where you make a plan for personal growth to help with the, transformation, of your, business. You take action on a next step, and you make a commitment to the, transformation, of your brand.
You’re going to check back in and say I’m going to go back and look at my intention that I set in the, new moon, phase and look back at my goals and see how am I am doing. How far have I come in my, transformation? If your measure is not up to your goals, this may be a time to take action and double down.
Maybe you realize it’s time to make a shift, because you realize you’re not in alignment or the world has changed and you need to make some pivots. You also don’t want to be anchorless where you can get thrown off course when the winds of the storm come. That would knock any of the progress you made in your, transformation, back to ground zero.
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The Full Moon and, Transformation
A week after the half moon, about seven days later, you’re going to get to the, full moon. We all know what the full moon looks like, it’s glorious. That’s when we’re in our fullest power. The moon is in her fullest Power. My sign is Taurus so I love the, full moon in Taurus.
As women we all went through our bleeding years where we had a menstrual cycle. The energy of a, full moon, is connected to the energy of ovulation. It’s the few days in our cycle where we could conceive a child.
That’s the energy that the, moon, is putting out and we can you can tap into it. We can tap into the, transformational energy, of the, full moon, and 10x the, transformation, of our brand.
You are hot stuff during this phase of the, full moon, cycle. Everything you touch can turn to gold; but you got to go for it.
You got to send that email,
you got to place that phone call,
you got to go to the event
put your name in the hat
send the proposal
Whatever it is, you got to believe in yourself and be willing to make those bold moves and bold decisions for the, transformation, of your company and brand. That’s the energy of the, full moon.
The next lunar phase is the, last quarter moon . The, last quarter moon, the energy of that phase of the cycle is let go to rise higher. If you invested time and energy into your health and wellness it is the time to see those results. Rise higher in your relationships, rise higher in your financial growth.
Let go of what didn’t happen and focus on the next cycle of the, New moon, for those projects.
We have a coach certification program to help life coaches in the, transformation, of their coaching, business. I call this co-creating and coaching with the cosmos. We’re really tuned into this framework called the magic makers method.
Myrna – I’ve been intimately connected with the, full moon, because the, full moon, affects the tides and our internal system which is made of 70% water; but I didn’t pay any attention to the other phases of the moon like then, new moon, or the, last quarter moon.
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How Can women entrepreneurs build confidence by learning to distinguish between their inner voice, and their, inner critic?
Jenny – The, inner voice, it’s really that ability to get still and to get quiet which is so important for women, entrepreneurs. We’ve got eight million notifications coming in on our phone and it’s buzzing on our computer and the noise is everywhere. So we need to clear out and have a regular practice where we get quiet and get still so we can hear our, inner voice.
Listen to that, inner voice, to know and feel what’s pulling you forward and what’s pulling you back. We have that connection with our bodies and when you start working with nature, working with the seasons, working with cosmic energy, you’ll find that place inside of yourself again and you’ll be able to distinguish between that inner knowing and the, inner critic.
The, inner critic, is that gremlin in your head that stops your, transformation
You’ll never be good enough
You’re making a mistake
You don’t belong there
You’re screwing it up
They’re all laughing at you
I could never put my message out there, because there could be some mean person who wants to dump on me and I can’t handle it that. Your, business cannot get to a, transformation, cycle with the, inner critic, in your head.
I love the book “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert she lays it out there’s, it’s really about guidance. Creative people we create through ideas right and we need ideas to come to us from our, inner voice, which is our source.
When we get ideas from our, inner voice, and we don’t act on it, we can’t get mad when someone else become successful from an idea we didn’t act on.
You can purchase Jenny’s book “Get Gutsy” and her coaching certification program called Magic Makers coach certification by visiting her website magicmakerscoach.com.
The Magic Makers coaching method, we help Coaches understand and master the craft of intuitive coaching. It’s a specific type of coaching and then we teach you how to master the craft of a business.
Altruism is the selfless act of helping others without expecting anything in return. “It is often considered one of the defining characteristics of what it means to be human. Jesus introduces us to the, servant mindset. The servant mindset, is doing your duty and not expecting thanks or words of appreciation. This message hit home to me because I always say thanks and expect thanks. But if we are truly serving our community, we do our duty just like the servant who worked all day in the fields, then he had to prepare his masters meal and then serve him while he ate. And when his master has no more need for him then he fixes himself something to eat. He does all this without his coveting his master to say thanks.
Welcome back to the Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life, the podcast. I’m your host, life coach Myrna Young, and today on Five Minute Fridays, I want to delve into the topic of embracing the, servant mindset. It’s an interesting concept that I’ve been learning and growing in myself, as I’ve always been someone who expects thanks when I serve others. However, true Altruism is the service without expecting thanks or anything in return. Jesus teaches us that true service comes from a place of selflessness, where we serve without expecting anything in return.
In Luke 17:7-9, Jesus shares a parable about a servant who plows and tends to the sheep. When the servant comes in from the field, he doesn’t expect to be invited to sit down and eat. Instead, he is instructed to prepare his master’s supper, get himself ready, and wait on his master while he eats and drinks. Only after his master is satisfied does the servant have permission to eat and drink himself. And in this parable, Jesus emphasizes that the servant will not receive thanks for simply doing his job, because his duty is to be of service to his master.
This parable resonates with me personally, as I often find myself expecting thanks and appreciation for the work I do. For example, as the host of this podcast, I promote my guests and go out of my way to support them. However, I’ve noticed that sometimes there is silence after the show airs, with no acknowledgement or reciprocation. But I’ve come to realize that my purpose is to serve in true Altruism fashion and if I don’t receive thanks, it doesn’t diminish the value of my service.
My husband often reminds me not to expect others to pat me on the back, but to pat myself on the back instead. He shares his experience from playing football, where he would make a great play and not receive any recognition from the coach. Eventually, he learned to acknowledge his own achievements and find fulfillment in his own work, rather than relying on external validation. This is the essence of embracing a, servant mindset – finding joy and fulfillment in the act of serving through Altruism regardless of whether or not we receive thanks.
So, what does it mean to have a, servant mindset? Let’s explore the key aspects of this mindset and how they can positively impact our lives.
Selfless Service: Helping Others Without Expecting Recognition
True service is rooted in selflessness and Altruism. It’s about helping others not for recognition, but because it’s the right thing to do. As I serve you all through this podcast, my ministry is to help you transform your mind and, in turn, transform your life. I don’t expect thanks or praise for my service, because my purpose is to make a positive impact and support your growth. Embracing a, servant mindset, means focusing on the act of service itself, rather than seeking external validation and reciprocation.
Humility and Obedience: Following Without Expecting Praise
To have a, servant mindset, we must practice humility and obedience. Just as the servant in the parable follows their master’s commands without expecting praise, we too should approach our duties with humility and obedience. This means being willing to serve others and fulfill our responsibilities without seeking recognition or accolades. It’s about recognizing that our role is to serve and support others, and finding fulfillment in fulfilling that role, regardless of whether or not we receive thanks.
The Joy of Giving: Finding Fulfillment in Altruism
A, servant mindset, brings joy through giving and helping others, even if our actions are not acknowledged or appreciated. It’s about finding fulfillment in the act of giving itself, rather than relying on external validation or gratitude. For example, I find joy in giving money to those in need, even if they don’t express their gratitude. The act of giving is its own reward, and it allows us to make a positive impact in the lives of others.
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Cultivating Gratitude: Appreciating Those Who Serve Us
On the flip side of giving is gratitude. Embracing Altruism also means being grateful for those who serve us selflessly. Whether it’s a spouse who supports us or someone who goes above and beyond in their service, we should acknowledge and appreciate their efforts. It’s important to recognize that we are not the only ones with a, servant mindset, and to express our gratitude for those who serve us in various ways.
The Ripple Effect of Altruism: Inspiring Others to Serve
Embracing Altruism can inspire others to do the same. When we lead by example and cultivate a culture of kindness and generosity, it creates a ripple effect in our communities. Others see our selfless service and are inspired to follow suit. As Jesus said, someone is always watching, and our actions can inspire others to embrace a, servant mindset, and make the world a better place, one act of kindness at a time.
In conclusion, embracing a, servant mindset, as taught by Jesus in Luke 17, is a path to genuine selfless service. It reminds us that true Altruism comes from helping others without expecting accolades. By adopting this mindset, we can make a positive impact in the lives of others and create a ripple effect of kindness and generosity. So, let’s continue to serve without expecting thanks, knowing that our true reward lies in the joy of giving and the knowledge that we are making a difference in the world.
Thank you for joining me on this episode of Five Minute Fridays. Until next time, remember to embrace the, servant mindset, and continue to transform your mind to transform your life. Namaste.
Building trust, is essential to building relationships. The Bible teaches us that after Jesus was baptized, he was filled with the Holy Spirit and performed miracles and healed the sick with one touch. So why did Jesus ask Simon for a push when he clearly could do it himself? In the episode of 5 min Fridays with Coach Myrna I want to look at how we can establish trust by, asking for help.
This biblical account in the New Testament, found in the Gospel of Luke (Luke 5:1-11), narrates how Jesus met Simon, a fisherman, by the Sea of Galilee. Simon had been out fishing all night without success. Jesus approached, stepped into Simon’s boat, and asked him to push out a little from the shore so that He could teach the crowd gathered there. Simon agreed, and Jesus taught from the boat.
The Unexpected Request: Another way of building trust
It’s essential to grasp the significance of this seemingly mundane request. By, Jesus asking Simon for a push, Jesus established a connection of trust with him. He didn’t immediately launch into a sermon or a call to discipleship. Instead, he met Simon’s immediate need, displaying empathy and practicality. In a similar way Pastors know they need to feed the body of their sheep before they feed the soul. We can’t pay attention to the word if our bellies are hungry.
The Metaphor of the Push:
This request for a push can be seen as a metaphor for the way Jesus interacts with all of us. Before inviting us to follow Him, He often first meets us at our point of need, offering assistance, understanding, and guidance. This approach signifies Jesus’ concern for our well-being and His willingness to meet us where we are and teaches us, how to ask for help.
After teaching from the boat, Jesus astonished Simon by instructing him to let down the nets for a catch. Despite Simon’s initial doubts, he followed Jesus’ guidance and witnessed an incredible catch of fish. Building trust, allows others to obey your instructions. It was at this moment of abundance that Jesus formally called Simon, James, and John to be His disciples, saying, “Don’t be afraid; from now on, you will fish for people.”
Conclusion:
Check out how the master operates. First, he establishes or, builds trust, by, asking for help, then he performs a, miracle of abundance, and when we are in disbelief, he says follow me if you want more.
The story of, Jesus asking Simon for a push, before calling him to be a disciple holds a powerful lesson for all believers. It reminds us that Jesus meets us in our everyday lives, cares for our immediate needs, and only then extends His invitation to follow Him. This approach embodies the compassion and wisdom of Jesus’ ministry, showing that His call is founded on a deep understanding of our human experience.
We all know that children from zero to seven are all like little sponges, downloading everything. This is when the, mother wound, gets started. Mothers, are nurturers if the child is not getting nurtured, they fail to thrive.
I want to say that I personally have not had a, mother wound. My, mother, and I are pretty close. I’m the eldest of four children and my, mother, she’s actually my best friend. But I understand the pain from the, mother wound. I adopted three children from the, foster care, system who were heavily wounded by their, mothers. They all had, abandonment, issues so, I experienced firsthand how the, mother wound, affected every aspect of their lives.
The girls became promiscuous with men and boys, wanted friends and have people like them. Also because of the, mother wound, they were not being able to bond with me or my husband, because another bi-product of the, mother wound, is, attachment disorder, so the adoption was not successful in integrating our families.
My guest today is Keri Hummingbird, author of “Love is Fierce: Healing the Mother Wound. If you or anyone you know need healing from, mother wounds, this is the episode for you.
Listen to the full interview here:
Introduction
Keri Hummingbird Sami is a soul guide, shamanic healer, award winning author and inspirational speaker. Kerri has over 20 years of experience in helping women rewrite the story of their lives through inner transformation, connection to essence, remembrance of purpose and realignment to authenticity and truth.
Myrna – Kerri what was your relationship with your mother like? Were you wounded by your, mother?
Kerri – Myrna even though your personal experience with your, mother, from your vantage point is very healed, which is a beautiful gift, there is like an ocean of not healed women on the planet. Having a, mother, as a life preserver who knows how to love is so beautiful and really pivotal because everything that happens in our early life, starting from the moment of conception is being recorded.
Starting from the moment of conception in the mother’s womb, babies are being formed in the, consciousness, of the, mother, it can’t be any other way. You’re inside the, mother, you’re being formed by the, mother’s, beliefs about herself, beliefs about the world, ancestral traumas that are unhealed; all of it goes inside of our ancestral DNA in our very human bodies.
Your Communication with your mother starts in the womb
Just imagine that the voice that you speak to yourself with it starts forming when you’re being formed inside your, mother’s womb, so however your, mother, speaks to herself is how you start to learn to speak to yourself. If the, mother, is not confident or if she’s had sexual traumas or if she does not believe in herself that’s going to influence your development. If the, mother, believes in herself, if she’s strong, if she’s vibrant then you’re getting that. You’re getting that training inside as you’re growing inside her body.
They’ve proven now that babies are able to perceive outside the womb, they’re able to perceive not only what’s going on inside the, mother, but also the outside environment. Babies can perceive things, they can hear voices, a vibration happens they can feel things, they sense things.
So, the beginning of education in earth school starts from the moment of conception. We all know that children from zero to seven are all like little sponges, downloading everything. This is when the, mother wound, gets started. Mothers, are nurturers if the child is not getting nurtured, they fail to thrive.
If a child is not being nurtured by the mother they develop a mother wound
If you experience a big loss like an, abandonment, early in that zero to seven age range, that’s hugely impacting. Anywhere along your development from zero to twenty-one, anything that happens is going to be huge for you, because all of your various bodies are getting developed.
Your physical body is getting developed first, then your emotional body is getting developed then your mental body is getting developed, then your spiritual body gets developed until age 28, so all of these bodies are being formed. Everything that happens in your life experience is like creating the context of your life, the inner context.
Myrna – In this moment anyone who is a, mother, should take that role seriously. It’s a big responsibility. Before I got into this consciousness space and this self-improvement space I would hear them talk about the men or women who are in prison and blame their parents. It all starts with their, mother wound.
I always thought it was a big old blame game, but now I know it’s true the, mother wound, develops into so many unfortunate situations.
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Kerri – I want to reassure every, mother, because when I started learning about the, mother wound, I started going to self-judgment. I look at oldest child especially how his life rolled out. He’s really struggling with this and that and I was struggling with the same things while he was in me. I had a lot of, mental health, challenges that I’d been working on when I was pregnant with him at 30.
I had already been working on it for 15 years from the time I was 15 years old because I had early, childhood trauma, so I was trying to heal and I thought I had it all together and then he came into my womb.
This happens to a lot of, mothers, because you get pregnant and then your whole physiology changes. Any traumas from your childhood comes right up to the surface. You start having, postpartum depression, or other things and you’re like why is this happening. I was really excited to have this baby. Why am I going through, postpartum depression?
Having a baby, it’s like the big purge. One of the reasons for, postpartum depression, is not dealing with stuff from your past or not dealing with your, mother wounds. Psychology makes an effort in helping, mothers, to cope with this kind of thing. I even invested in psychotherapy.
I would sit there every week and like try to work on myself.
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How the mother wound affects your romantic relationships
Myrna – If you’re abandoned by your mom or hurt by your mom, the, mother wound, it’s very hard for you to love yourself, then you can’t really be in romantic relationships.
You have to remove the subconscious programming that says you are not good enough and learn to love yourself. If you can’t release the, mother wound, and love yourself, you will continue to struggle in romantic relationships. You must gain control of your life as it deals with this issue of the, mother wound?
Kerri – I think that subconscious holds the keys to all of it because if you think about this concept of the iceberg submerged in the ocean. The part you see above the water is the conscious mind, but there’s so much more underneath the surface.
There’s so much to explore about your own consciousness to understand yourself better, so that you can show up even better.
You didn’t choose to be molested , you didn’t choose to be abandoned, you didn’t choose to be hurt by your, mother, and have a, mother wound.
According to according to Dr Wayne Dyer‘s teaching he says we chose our parents, because we needed that experience in order to do what we have to do in this earth.
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My journey in psychotherapy helped my understanding of why I had a, mother wound. The home I grew up in from the time I was five years old, was very solid. My mom and my dad worked as a team. I didn’t always like the things that they told me I had to do, but they were caring, they were loving and attentive.
We had three-way hugs in a supportive family environment. We went sailing on the weekends, we had a nice life. So I was like, why am I so screwed up? I had this feeling that something got broken inside of me from my early childhood, because I knew that there was trauma from zero to five years old.
It was a big trauma. My mom married a man who was probably not suited to be a dad. He had his own trauma story from his own childhood of being abused by his mother and left outside of hotel rooms while she slept with men and things like that. He was abandoned in hotels for days, so we had all these traumas he was working through.
Unresolved Wounds from your childhood affects your ability to parent
My, mother, started noticing that there was a really good possibility that he was going to molest me. I want to give my mom huge props, because many, mothers, stay in a situation like that afraid to leave, but my, mother, was a warrior of love. So left and found the next best pathway and that was my first step father.
My first stepfather was a violent drunk, so it was very traumatic. So by the time I was five after four years with this violent step father, we moved and just by chance met my second stepfather who I call my dad. He is the man my, mother, has been with for 45 years until he passed away three years ago.
Spirituality is the path to healing the mother wound
I started my spiritual path and for me that was the opening because it taped into beyond the mind, it taped into the body where a lot of trauma is stored. Many people know trauma is stored in the body and it taps into the emotional body. When you’re a child and you’re seeing these scary things happening, you don’t have words to talk. You don’t have language.
As an adult, you have to go deeper into the body, the somatic experience. You have to go into inner child healing, and make friends with all these aspects of you and become their parents. It’s really about re-mothering yourself and the re-mothering process takes some time because
of those early conditionings.
You have to stay in the conversation of love and kindness and gentleness long enough for it to start to sink in, and for these aspects to heal. Along that journey all kinds of modalities might happen for you. I found mine in a shaman. Somebody told me they got healed by a shaman and I was like sign me up.
What are men’s role in healing the, mother wound? A lot of times men add it to the damage that the, mother, started and then the men compound the, mother wound.
Kerri – Men can help by healing the mother wounds inside of them, because all men were boys and they came out of a, mother, so that’s why the solution is the, mother, because we all live in a, mother, to begin life. So, in order to heal we all have to walk back to the, mother.
Your relationship with your, mother, and the programming of love that you received from your, mother, is also your trust in your connection with the divine and earth. It’s a multi-dimensional conversation, because whatever lack of trust you have with your biological mother, that same lack of trust can show up in your connection with the divine, in your connection with the planet.
If you’re disregarding your body, you’re probably also disregarding your impact on the earth.
Why did you write the book “Love is Fierce: healing the mother wound”?
Kerri – My book uses my personal experience to illustrate various points that are very common across humanity so, there’s a lot of themes in the book that talk about why it is that we are in the situation we’re in right now. Why we have so much war and conflict, misunderstanding and divides between people. This is because of the breakdown of the matriarchy. The breakdown of the feminine and how a lot of the patterns we see are derived directly from breakdown of that primary relationship with the, mother.
I had to go through the deep inner work to write the book and to reveal the patterns, but honestly I’ve been working on this project my entire life.
Myrna – I understand, you had 20 years in psychotherapy. This project allowed you to heal your, mother wound, and also heal the, mother wounds, of your children.
Myrna – Where can our listeners connect with you get a copy of your book? How can they connect with you on social media and your website?
Kerri- They can connect with me on my website www.kerrihummingbird.com
On the website there is a link to sign up for 17 days of interviews on the return of mother wisdom, which I find to be really inspiring. I interviewed all these women and they have these beautiful things to say about where we’re going with humanity on the earth.
You can purchase the book on amazon and then you can take your confirmation number over to www.motherwoundbook.com (receive 17 days of interviews for the Return of Mother Wisdom Series)
I also have a podcast called the Soul Nectar Show, I hope you’re going to come and be a guest on the show.
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If you have been diagnosed with, mental illness, or, Bipolar disorder, it means that you probably think of ending your life all the time. In this episode, I interview Gabe Howard, who was diagnosed with, Bipolar disorder, at age 25.
Before then Gabe said that he did not know he was sick. His parents thought he was just acting out and would punish him for his behavior. But he remembers thinking of suicide all his life, until he got treatment. No one knew he was, Bipolar.
I was diagnosed with, Bipolar disorder, when I was when I was 25 years old. I didn’t know that I was sick. I had all of these, mental health, symptoms. They were causing me a lot of personal problems. I had a drug and alcohol problem, hyper sexuality was an issue, my relationships were just being destroyed, all because of, mental illness, but I didn’t know anything was wrong.
Then one day I ended up in a psychiatric hospital, because I was ready to end my own life. I thought about suicide as far back as I can remember.
I just thought it was normal to want to die.
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What is, Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder is a mental illness marked by extreme changes in mood from high to low, and from low to high. Highs are periods of mania, while lows are periods of depression. The changes in mood may even become mixed, so you might feel elated and depressed at the same time.
The problem Gabe says is that when you are in the middle is when you get the job, the girl, the promotion, get married. You usually loose these things when you are depressed or manic; being in the middle is where you want to be.
I became an advocate because I consider myself to be a smart person and I don’t have like some story about how my parents were awful. My parents are good people, they loved me very much. My dad was a truck driver my mom a stay-at-home mom and they did all the things right.
They were engaged, they loved me, they were present and none of us knew that I was, Bipolar, None of us got me any help. I thought wow if I didn’t know, if my family didn’t know, if all of that love and engagement and connection and caring and they just missed it. There must be other people that are in my shoes. That’s why I became a, mental health advocate.
I just wanted to talk about, Bipolar, openly so that there just wouldn’t be other people wandering around sick and scared and symptomatic. They could get help, because I was really lucky.
Hypnosis-Everywhere with Ines Simpson explores, dissects, discusses and opens up the world of Hypnosis. You will discover that Hypnosis is a very big world indeed. In Hypnosis-Everywhere, Ines offers you tools and answers to deal with that tricky mind of yours, and proven ways to enrich your life.
Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other
Mental Illness is an Asshole is Gabe Howard’s first collection of articles about living with mental illness.
All the articles date from 2014 through 2018 and include his observations on reaching recovery, stigma, and living well in spite of depression, bipolar, and anxiety. Totaling over 380 pages, Gabe even shares the story of his :): logo for the first time.
For years, Gabe Howard’s entertaining articles and essays have been educating people about living with mental illness. His observations cover everything from practical advice to family relationships to the fears that people with mental illness experience.
In essays such as “Anxiety Says Everyone Hates Me,” “I Have Bipolar and I’m a Hypocrite,” and, yes, “Mental Illness Is an Asshole,” Gabe makes mental illness less scary and more understandable.
I had a suicide plan and I just happen to run into somebody that understood that understood mental illness and it she looked at me and asked me “are you planning on killing yourself?” Her training allowed her to ask that question and I said yes! She he me committed to the psychiatric hospital.
I was diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, and of course once I was diagnosed with, bipolar, to go on and lead good life. This is why I always say that I was lucky.
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Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now: find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose.
The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walkthrough of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan of going after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.
Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. ..That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.
Bipolar disorder, is commonly described as extreme highs to extreme lows. From suicidal depression all the way to God like mania. As a, Bipolar, you will have to battle depression where you want to die, and feel like you want to die, you feel like you want everything to end. When you are in Mania, you feel like the whole world revolves around you.
Then there is the middle. Everything is normal. That’s when you get the job, that’s when you meet the girl, that’s when you get married, buy the house, have all the friends; all the things that you lose when you become symptomatic.
Psych Meds for, Bipolar Disorder, the Good, Bad, and the Ugly
Psychiatric medications are the religion and politics of the mental health advocacy world.
In this episode, we cover the good, the bad, and the ugly surrounding medications. Like whether or not you should take them. We tackle side effects like feeling numb and sexual dysfunction and share our personal histories with medication therapy.
If you have any form of, mental illness, that you need Meds to function. Medications are amazing, they saved my life. I want to be very clear. Without my medication I cannot live the life that I live. So many people mistakenly believe that psychiatric medications are magical that you just need to take the pill and boom everything is fine and it’s simple.
It’s much bigger than that. In addition to psychiatric medication, therapy is very important, learning coping skills is very important, and going to support groups. You have to deal with the trauma of your past and all of these things matter; but all we ever hear about is psychiatric medication and I want to change that. I want to change it to, did you take your meds and did you go to therapy and did you utilize your coping skills?
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What is the most common cause of, bipolar disorder?
Biological traits
Hormonal problems: Hormonal imbalances might trigger or cause bipolar disorder. Environmental factors: Abuse, mental stress, a “significant loss,” or some other traumatic event may contribute to or trigger bipolar disorder.
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Mental Health Advocate for, Bipolar
Gabe is a, Mental Health Advocate. He remembers when no one knew he was sick for over 20 years. He had a plan to end his life and luckly for him, someone asked him the question “Are you planning on hurting yourself” He answered yes and he was admitted to the Psychiatric ward in hospital.
That saved his life so now, he is a, mental health advocate, to help others suffering from, mental illness, or, bipolar disorder, receive treatment and services.
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Additional Resources for, Bipolar Disorder.
The book is a collection of Articles and all of the Articles have something to do with, mental illness, mental health, loving somebody with, mental illness, dating someone with, bipolar,
It’s almost a reference guide that you can carry around for people with, bipolar, or dealing with somebody who is living with, mental illness, and depression and anxiety, don’t just live with, bipolar, you can have just depression, you can have just anxiety. Even people with schizophrenia, they suffer from depression and anxiety as well.
Rules game of life, # 1 Know where you want to go. A lot of us have goals, but we focus on all of them at the same time and that is why most of us never accomplish any of them.
There is a Guyanese proverb that says that you can be a “Jack of all trades, master of none.” That means if you have all these trades, you can never be great at any.
The captain of a ship knows he can only dock at one port at a time. A quarterback in a football game knows the goal of the drive is to get to the end zone and score a touchdown. Once he has accomplished one touchdown then he starts planning for the next touchdown. Rules of the game, both the Captain and the quarterback knows to, focus on one thing, at a time.
So, the first rule of success in the, game of life, is knowing where you want to go. You set one goal and, focus on one thing, concentrate all your energies on that goal first, then after you accomplish that goal then you move on to the next goal.
Let’s say where you want to go is to save $20,000 for a down payment on your first home. That is the direction you want to go in, you shouldn’t have that goal of saving $20,000 and another goal of let’s say getting your Master’s degree at the same time. Chances are you will accomplish neither. Since you should, focus on one thing, at a time. First focus on your down payment and then after you move into your home, then you could focus on getting your Master’s degree.
In the, game of life, your reward is in direct proportion to your service. So how will you earn this $20,000? You have to provide a service to get it. Don’t dream of winning the lottery.
We just watched the Super Bowl game. Let’s look at Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes as an illustration of having one primary goal and working only on that goal. Patrick Mahomes is rewarded handsomely for his service for his ability to score touchdowns. He is paid millions and I mean millions because of this ability. He has studied his craft and become the best and his knowledge of the game and how to achieve his goal of getting to the end zone, makes him valuable to any team. He concentrates of one drive at time, that is his, focus is on one thing. One touchdown at a time, one game at a time with the end goal of a championship.
So, you need to do the same. What skills do you need to have to accomplish your primary goal today? What do you have to do to become the best at what you do. Since service is in direct proportion to reward, how will you increase your service?
These are the, rules game of life, know where you want to go and, focus on one thing, at a time. This message is for me as well. I am speaking to myself. I have lots of goals and I was working on all of them at the same time and that is why I wasn’t gaining traction. I have 6 goals and I was concentrating on all of them. Now that I understand the, rules game of life, I have picked one goal and am focusing all my attention on this goal. I already work on improving my skills every day. I already learn something new every day. Since my rewards is in direct proportion to my service, I am confident that my rewards will come. I know if you build it, they will come.
Remember the quote from Alice in Wonderland “if you don’t know where you are going then it doesn’t matter where you end up.”
So become one of the 5% of the population who know the, rules game of life, they know where they are going and is working the playbook, setting up plays, celebrating first downs and getting to the end zone. You must have singular focus, you must know that people are out to stop you, and you must know where they are and avoid a collision. Patrick Mahomes played through an injury, you must know that you will have challenges and problems on your way to your goals, successful people succeed in spite of their challenges.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna
Coping with, grief, either from death, divorce, incarceration, job loss, or even loosing your home is devastating. Mental Health counselor, Arifah Yusaf and, Life Coach, Myrna Young shares strategies for coping with loss.
I have been fortunate at 60 years old to not had to deal with the kind of, grief, that tears your soul out. The kind that of, grief, makes you want to die. The kind that hurt so bad that you can’t get up out of bed for weeks.
I have heard stories, and I have had a front row seat to my daughters grief when she buried her fiancé.
Grief from Losing a Child:
I was listening to an interview with Anderson Cooper a few months back and he was telling the story of his brother suicide. Then I heard his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, talk about it. Put yourself in this scene.
Your 22 year old son wakes up from a nap and comes into your room. Asks you some question you don’t comprehend and then runs out of your room onto the balcony of your 12th story Penthouse suite and jumps to his death while you watch, shocked out of your mind.
Gloria Vanderbilt, had this experience. In an interview she said in her, grief, she stayed in bed for 2 weeks and cried and cried until she ran out of tears. Since then she has not cried once. She says it is as if, she has no tears left.
When a loved one commits suicide the, grief, is even more acute because there is blame wondering what you may have missed, could have done to prevent it, are you the cause etc.
The guest told the story about, the death of her spouse, seeing her husband drown in front of her and how her world changed from that day.
Here is her story. She said her husband Matt was a super athlete very strong. She gave us the mental picture of him hanging from a cliff with one hand and in the other hand pulling up his 17 year old son.
One day before they picked up her husband’s son from the Airport, they decided to take their dog for a walk in the woods by their home. Her husband decided to take a quick swim in the river, something he did several times per week. She decided to keep playing with the dog.
After some time, she said she heard her husband cough once and she didn’t think anything of it. She said to herself, he got water into his mouth again. When she heard him cough again, she decided to investigate. When she reached the river, she saw her husband clinging to a branch in river. She knew something was wrong.
The river looked the same as it always looked, very calm on top; but as soon as she stepped into the river to help her husband, she felt the strong undercurrent. The current took her and her dog up the river for about 2 miles before it spit them out on the shore. She said she was then lost in the woods for about 45 mins before she was able to get help.
They began a search and rescue for her husband, but after 3 hours it became a search and recovery.
They found him entangled in weeds at the bottom of the river.
My husband drowned in front of me
Her, grief, extended to having to tell Matt’s son that his father was dead. What it felt like to pick up Matt’s son from the airport the day before his 18th birthday.
Knowing that Matt’s son could never again celebrate his birthday again because it will always be the anniversary of his Dad’s death. She talked about having to call Matt’s parents and tell them their son was dead. She said his father hung up on her he didn’t want to believe it. Calling all his friends in his phone and telling them. Her, grief, was unbearable.
She said she could no longer practice her profession as a therapist, because she couldn’t listen to other people’s problems anymore. But the point she wanted to convey by telling her story, was that while she was in mystery and her world changed forever, her neighbors world and everyone else’s world continued unchanged.
The sun came up the next day, her neighbor came out the next day and picked up his morning newspaper. She likened it to going to the movies, you pay to see a comedy but while everybody else is laughing your screen split and you are watching a horror movie.
My firsthand experience with, grief, was seeing the pain it caused my daughter when her fiancé committed suicide. His mother called me and I thought she was joking when she said ” The boy killed himself” until she said why would I joke about something like that.
I had the unenviable role of telling my daughter her fiancé was dead. I can still hear her screens of anguish. I didn’t know what to do.
Her world changed. She quit school. She was doing her Masters degree at the time.
She went back later; but I had to call her professors and tell them the situation.
Then she had to deal with the funeral and the burial.
I didn’t know what to do, what to say or how to help her with her, grief.
The therapist said that most people don’t know what to do or say.
Because our culture spins the tale that life must go on and that everything has a purpose.
She feels that is bullshit to sat that her husband died, so that she can use her pain to help other people. What she is doing now.
She said you can’t tell a mother who lost her baby that God had better plans for the child.
We will go through her suggestions for helping others deal with, grief, and what you can do to help later on in this blog
Here is how to deal with, grief from incarceration: Grief Counseling,
In the co-host chair is Arifah Yusuf Mortley, registered social worker, mental health counselor and founder and program director of Lifted by Purpose.
How is, grief from incarceration, similar to losing a loved one in death?
In my experience I have supported both clients in, grief counseling, dealing with, grief, of a loved one who died and secondary loss, such as losing a loved one to incarceration. When speaking with my clients, dealing with the loss of a loved one, I always listen and provide the space and opportunity for them to be heard and share their feelings.
It’s important for them to know during, grief counseling, that grief, is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense your, grief, will be.
Emotional reactions of, grief, can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair.
During, grief counseling, clients may associate grieving with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of, grief, but you can also experience intense, grief from incarceration, or losing a loved one to incarceration. For example, I had a client who was pregnant and her fiancé was sentenced to 6 years in prison.
Grief while incarcerated
Even though he did not die the, grief, was intense from her watching him get sentenced and taken away the same day, delivering their baby without him present, and raising their child on her own. She would drive 3 hours to visit him and 3 hours back home once a month and speak to him as often, as she could afford.
Over time the, grief from incarceration, took a toll on her, as this was not the family life she had envisioned for herself. Likewise, it was difficult for her fiancé in prison, as he felt he was missing out on the experience of raising their child, and the experience of being the father he promised himself and her, he would be.
He felt disappointment in himself and a disconnection to his family. He also, experienced, grief, from loosing his freedom, and the ability to provide for his family. He also grieved missing all the milestones of his child’s life (ie. Missing first words, walk, first day of school, birthdays) and intense worry about their health and safety. As well, wondering if his girl would leave him for someone else. The inevitable of not being able to fully control situations, was an intense loss for them both, and sometimes, she would say it felt as if he was gone and not coming back home.
Steps to helping friends or family members deal with, Grief:
1: Never say get over it or it is for the best.
2: Allow them to grieve. If they want to talk about it listen. They need to feel heard. In fact they will talk about it until they feel heard.
Help them by taking care of daily necessities like child care, cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash, picking up kids from school etc. A person in, grief, is not capable of doing any of these things.
Sit with the thought that time does heal. The therapist went back to work helping others, my daughter went back to school and graduated on time with her Masters degree. She is getting married in December. Anderson Cooper decided to send himself to the war zone and report news. That is how he dealt with his, grief. That launched his career as a reporter.
How to Deal with grief from incarceration or death
Listen and engage in conversations about the loss, so they can begin to recognize the reality of the loss and confront their own emotions (e.g. loneliness, sadness, helplessness). These stressors include things like thoughts, feelings, actions, and memories that cause us to feel, grief, and focus on the loss.
I share the Tear Model when working with clients, which focuses in on the following.
The Tear Model to help with, Grief
Accept the reality of the loss
Experience the reality of the loss
Adjust to a new life without the person
Reinvest in the new reality
I often explain that restoration–orientation refers to coping with issues related to secondary changes brought on by the loss (e.g., financial, family demands), and adapting to these issues.
A griever will go between confronting the loss and avoiding the loss.
