Category Archives: motivation

How Does Emotional Intelligence Affect Your Success In Life

If you do not take control of your,  emotional intelligence, and thoughts, they will repeat in cycles. We have over 70,000 thoughts per day and 90% of these thoughts repeat over and over. That is why people get stuck in life, reliving the past like Groundhog day.

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

Jenny R. Craig, LCSW, BCD is a, transformation, specialist, utilizing her expertise in assisting leaders in creating authentic, profound, long-lasting impact in their organizations and personal lives.

Emotional intelligence, is important because, Strategic planning,  does not kick in until the mid-twenties.

Also any huge trauma changes the way the brain works.

As a, transformation, coach we give our clients tools and techniques that can move them through the darkness of being stuck in rewind, and into the light. The light is to find out your true purpose and discover who you really are.

Emotional Intelligence, allows you to do the mental work in living a purposeful life.

Here are four traits of Emotional Intelligence:

* Self Awareness: Knowing what we are feeling and why we are feeling this way.

Self awareness definition: They said that self-awareness is the ability to look inward, think deeply about your behavior, and consider how it aligns with your moral standards and values. When your behavior is out of alignment with your standards, you feel uncomfortable, unhappy and negative.

* Self Management: Handling distressing emotions so that they don’t cripple you. Self-management, which is also referred to as “self-control” or “self-regulation,” is the ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations.

* Empathy: Knowing what someone else is feeling. Being capable of walking in another man’s shoes. Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another’s perspective, to understand, feel and possibly share and respond to their experience. There are more definitions of empathy that include but is not limited to social, cognitive, and emotional processes primarily concerned with understanding others

* Skilled Relationships: There is not a better barometer of, emotional intelligence, than the quality of one’s relationships. When you put the top three skills together, you will have quality and healthy relationships.

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What is Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence, refers, to the ability to identify and manage one’s own, emotions, as well as the, emotions, of others.

Emotional intelligence, is generally said to include at least three skills:

  • emotional awareness,
  • the ability to identify and name one’s own, emotions
  • the ability to harness those, emotions, and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving
  • the ability to manage, emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own, emotions, when necessary and helping others to do the same.

There is no validated, emotional intelligence test.

Test for, emotional intelligence, looks for the general intelligence factor—and many argue that, emotional intelligence, is therefore not an actual construct, but a way of describing interpersonal skills that go by other names.

Despite this criticism, the concept of, emotional intelligence, sometimes referred to as emotional quotient or EQ—has gained wide acceptance. In recent years, some employers have even incorporated, emotional intelligence tests, into their application and interview processes, on the theory that someone high in, emotional intelligence, would make a better leader or coworker.

Conclusion

I am grateful that you have tuned into this podcast from all around the world. I believe that the spirit of God has attracted you here so that you can receive the insights, revelations and knowledge revealed on this broadcast. Whatever you need for this day in your life you will receive. I can truly say that your life will never be the same because a brain that has been expanded with knowledge can never return to it’s original size. I invite you to subscribe to this podcast so that you will receive new podcasts every week with more insights, revelations and knowledge so that you can live your best life now.

Visit me on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com and sign up for a free strategy session.

Additional Resources 

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-apply-law-divine-oneness-to-life/

Be Shamelessly Persistent: Keep Knocking Until the Door Is Opened

In this life coaching podcast episode, I’ll explore the concept of being, shamelessly persistent, and how it can be a transformative force in your life.

Download the podcast here:

https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://prfx.byspotify.com/e/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/13703295-be-shamelessly-persistent-keep-knocking-until-the-door-is-opened.mp3?download=true

Introduction:

In Luke chapter 11: Jesus shares a story of a man knocking on the door of his friend’s house asking for 3 loaves of bread to feed a guest at his house. His friend yelled through the door. Go away we are retired for the night. But Jesus teaches that if the man kept knocking his friend will eventually get up and give him the bread because of his, shameless persistence, and so Jesus said I tell you, keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for, keep seeking and you will find. Keep knocking and the door will be opened to you.

So today in this life coaching session with coach Myrna I want to encourage you to be, shamelessly persistent. I remember way back my pastor called me tenacious.  I was not sure if that was a compliment but it was, it meant that I was, shamelessly persistent, in getting what I want.

In the journey of life, obstacles and closed doors are inevitable. Whether you’re pursuing a personal goal, a career aspiration, or seeking to overcome challenges, the key to success often lies in, unrelenting persistence. It’s about refusing to let setbacks and closed doors define your path.

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Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

Here are 5 areas in you life to be shamelesly persistent.

  1. **Dealing with Rejection:**

Rejection can be disheartening, but it’s also a stepping stone towards success. Embracing, shameless persistence, means that you don’t let a “No” deter you. You keep knocking on doors, sending out applications, or pursuing your dreams until you hear a “Yes.”

  1. **Learning and Adaptation:**

Being, shameless persistent, isn’t about mindlessly repeating the same actions. It’s about learning from each attempt and adapting your approach. This continuous improvement leads to increased chances of success.

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  1. **Building Confidence:**

Each knock on a closed door takes courage. Over time, these actions build your confidence and resilience. You learn that you can handle rejection and setbacks, making you even more determined to succeed.

  1. **Inspiring Others:**

Your unwavering persistence can inspire those around you. When people see your determination, they may offer support, guidance, or opportunities you wouldn’t have received otherwise.

  1. **Achieving Goals:**

Some doors are heavy, and it takes multiple knocks to open them. However, if you stop knocking, you’ll never know what was behind that door. Persistence often leads to breakthroughs and the achievement of your goals.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Examples of success after being shamelessly persistent :

  1. **Famous Authors:** Many renowned authors faced numerous rejections before their works were published. J.K. Rowling, for example, received multiple rejection letters for “Harry Potter” before finding a publisher who saw its potential. J.K was, shamelessly persistent, and it paid off.
  2. **Entrepreneurs:** Steve Jobs was fired from Apple, the company he co-founded. Instead of giving up, he started other ventures and eventually returned to Apple, transforming it into one of the most successful tech companies in history.
  3. **Inventors:** Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” when working on the light bulb. His, shameless persistence,  led to one of the most transformative inventions in history.

Conclusion:

Being, shamelessly persistent, means embracing rejection, learning from it, and using it as fuel to knock on more doors. It’s about recognizing that closed doors are not the end of the road but opportunities waiting to be unlocked. So, whatever your goals, dreams, or challenges may be, remember this mantra: Keep knocking until the door is opened. Your persistence might just be the key to your success.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/vision-fails-5-things-after-failure/

 

Surviving Stage Four Ovarian Cancer: Lessons Learned

Nancy Rugart Plummer, a survivor of, stage four ovarian cancer, and, metastatic brain cancer, shares her powerful story and the lessons she learned from her journey. She discusses her diagnosis, treatment, and the challenges she faced along the way. Nancy emphasizes the importance of early detection and self-advocacy in cancer prevention and treatment.

She also highlights the role of caregivers and the need for support and understanding during the cancer journey. Nancy and Robert Rugart discuss the lessons they learned from Nancy’s cancer experience and how they have applied those lessons to their lives. They emphasize the importance of getting affairs in order, finding reasons to fight, and taking life one step at a time.

Download the podcast here: 

https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://prfx.byspotify.com/e/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/13679990-surviving-stage-four-ovarian-cancer-lessons-learned.mp3?download=true

 

Key Takeaways:

  • Early detection is crucial in cancer survival, and it is important to be proactive in seeking medical attention and advocating for oneself.
  • Caregivers play a vital role in supporting cancer patients and helping them navigate their journey.
  • Getting affairs in order, such as creating a will and discussing end-of-life plans, is important for everyone, not just cancer patients.
  • Finding reasons to fight and focusing on the joys of living can provide motivation and strength during difficult times.
  • Taking life one step at a time and being open to change and adaptation can help overcome challenges and find new opportunities for growth.

Introduction About The Guest(s):

Nancy Rugart Plummer is a survivor of stage four ovarian cancer and metastatic brain cancer. She is the founder of Becoming the Best You and is a wellness and relationship coach, author, and columnist. Nancy helps men and women navigate life challenges to become upbeat, unstoppable, and unafraid. Her inspiring book, “Becoming the Best You: The Lessons Cancer Taught Me,” is due out this month.

Robert Rugart is the co-founder of Becoming the Best You. He left his job in finance to help write the book with his mother, Nancy, and to inspire and empower caregivers based on his own experiences as a caregiver for his mother, grandfather, and wife.

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Cancer diagnosic stage 4 ovarian cancer

Myrna: All right. Well, Nancy, before we started recording, I mentioned that I am reading the book Outlive right now by Dr. Peter Attia, and his book is basically talking about the four horsemen, which are the top killers right now. And cancer is one of the top ones, number one is Heart disease.

So what he talks about is early detection as a survival necessity. So I’m going to start off by saying you got diagnosed with, stage four ovarian cancer, which is really not early detection, and you had, metastatic brain cancer, which means that the cancer is already spread. I am extremely curious to know your story. Let’s start with the, ovarian cancer. How was it diagnosed? How did you treat it? And then we can go on to the, metastatic brain cancer.

Nancy: It was definitely a marathon. It all started in the fall of 2015, and I had been dealing with bloating for months on end. I’d been dealing with needing to urinate all the time, and yet at the same time being constipated up to a week. And I knew that something was wrong. I didn’t know what it was. So I made an emergency appointment with my OBGYN of 25 years. And I felt, since he was a superstar in the world of gynecology, that he would be the person I could trust and give me answers to my pain.

He took one look at me with my hair done and my makeup and my beautiful outfit, expressed my concerns in this dismissive voice. He said, Nancy, look at you. You’re too pretty and you’ve been a perfect specimen of health. I reeled inside my brain. I was thinking, oh, my God, what does wearing makeup and a pretty outfit have to do with my health? So from there, we fought a little bit head to head, and he agreed with me that he would give me an ultrasound in a couple of weeks. So I didn’t tell anyone about my problem.

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Transform Your Mind Podnews

Cancer misdiagnosis

Anyway, I didn’t share with anyone and I never heard back. I called them ten days later and they just said, your ultrasound came out clean. Your scan is clean. So in their minds, I was healthy. And for seven months I was quiet, albeit in pain.

And then in June of 2016 so seven months later, I asked a friend to take me into the emergency room I knew I couldn’t go on, and I knew that I was probably at death door.

Myrna: What was happening then that you needed to go to the emergency room?

Nancy: As the months went on, I found myself being able to eat less and less, and my exhaustion was continuing, and I was feeling more and more bloated.  In my mind I kept thinking, oh, my goodness, you’re not exercising enough, not doing enough core work. Even the day when I went into the emergency room, I must confess that I was doing windsprints down the lane because I was growing this abdomen. Little did I realize that it was 67oz of  cancerous fluid in me, that’s a lot of ounces for someone that’s not the heaviest person to start with.

Anyway, I’m in the emergency room, and the on call doctor did a quick ultrasound with me and came back with discharge papers.

Myrna: So obviously what you’re saying is this cancer cannot be picked up through an ultrasound.

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Transform Your Mind Amazon

Stage 3 ovarian cancer diagnosis

So I looked at him, and I gathered the strength that I could. I was really sick, and I just not I haven’t shared with anyone, but I think I’m dying. You have to save me. So we agreed together to do a CT scan, and he came back 3 hours later and said, ma’am, you have, stage 4 ovarian cancer.

Robert: Obviously, she had very extensive, ovarian cancer, at the time. I think when she was first diagnosed, it was late stage three. We hadn’t found proof that it metastasized anywhere outside of where they deem stage three. So she was three C, and she had cancer ranging from, obviously, her pelvis all the way up to the base of her diaphragm at the bottom of her lungs. And so she needed an eight hour long surgery with,  eight different specialists.

Myrna: What was the surgery for?

Nancy: So what was it A bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy is the surgical removal of both ovaries and both fallopian tubes to treat ovarian cancer. The goal of the procedure is to remove any cancerous cells and prevent the chance for recurrence.

They had to take out 22 inches of my bowels. So I was given an ostomy. That was its own journey.

Myrna: All right, so let’s fast forward to the end. Sure. When did you get the all clear that the cancer was gone? I’m assuming that after all your treatments and I’m assuming you took chemotherapy as well.

Nancy: Yeah, I had chemo every week for my chemotherapy. As long as the chemotherapy. So six months.

Myrna: At the end of the six months, they said, you’re cancer free. So everything they took out the cancer stuff, and so why did they say it was stage four? Because I understand stage four means that it’s moved.

Nancy: And I just want to share to every, cancer survivor, out there and caregiver that when the bell rings, you ring your bell in your remission. Cancer is not over. All the scars and all the wounds and all the issues you’ve had in your life, especially for me, was just ashes. I had lost my father, lost my marriage, lost my home, and it was a tough journey. Fast forward. I was so frail. I moved to Miami, packed up my stuff, where one of my dearest friends was welcoming me, and I could never have dealt with the cold and the weather in Philadelphia.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Metastatic Brain Cancer diagnosis

Seven months later, I go to Rome with a friend, on vacation, great time. And two days later, I collapse from a grand mal seizure. They took me to a public hospital in Rome, and I awaken 16 hours later to see six men in diapers and a gown. And I looked down at myself. I was also in a gown and diapers. I have no idea why I’m in there. No one’s speaking in English. There’s no air conditioning. It was a bit of Hitchcock movie. And I’m thinking, oh, my God, I must have cancer again.

4 hours later, the neurologist comes in and speaks to me in English and says, you suffered a grain mal seizure. You have a brain tumor. My daughter flies in, bless her heart. She comes in so sweet. She flies into Rome and helps me coordinate me to my transfer to Miami and undergo brain surgery.

So then they do the surgery, and they say, you have, metastatic brain cancer. Before they did the brain surgery, they said, because your brain tumor is the size of a ping pong ball and where it is located, you may be paralyzed on your right side, and you may never speak again.

They remove the tumor, and they say, yes, it is a metastasis of, ovarian cancer. The median lifespan is five months. And I’m now still alive after five years. One of the lone survivors.

Myrna: Thank be to God. Wow. Yeah. Because that’s basically what I’m learning right now. If you don’t catch these things early, they move. Right. And when they move, for instance, you had all these surgeries, but there’s no way the surgeon can pick the ones that have moved. Wow.

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Becoming a caregiver for cancer patients

Robert: You know, cancer is a war that you don’t want to fight on your own. I think there were two big things. Obviously, so many things helped, notably, listening to her doctors and paying attention to medical advice and being an advocate for herself were all huge things.

From the caregiver side, I think it was very important. Like we were saying, the exercise thing to push yourself right when you’re going through chemotherapy, especially when she was going through it, chemo is basically poisoning your body and hoping that the cancer dies before the rest of your body does, which normally happens because cancer is voracious and eats up lots of stuff, including the poison a lot faster than the other cells. So there’s a reason why we do it.

But if you’re going to win that fight, you need to stay as healthy as you can. Keep pushing yourself, keep trying to exercise when you can. And exercise doesn’t have to be running wind sprints. It can be. At her lowest point, exercise was breathing into a spirometer, A spirometer is an apparatus for measuring the volume of air inspired and expired by the lungs. A spirometer measures ventilation, the movement of air into and out of the lungs. The spirogram will identify two different types of abnormal ventilation patterns, obstructive and restrictive, doing single leg lifts or single weightless arm curls in her hospital bed.

Nancy: You know, I had pneumonia, and Robert got the call and was like, mom’s going to die of pneumonia before she dies of chemo, right? And so he comes in, and obviously, I didn’t have the wherewithal to even get that spirometer and practice my breathing and get stronger. And I tell you, he tried everything. He was cajoling me, he was pushing me, but he kept figuring out, and I’m begging caregivers alike to help your patient to learn how to push themselves when you’re not there, but do every tactic you can, because he’s right. If I didn’t get strong enough, the chemo would have killed me.

Book Becoming The Best U
Book Becoming The Best U

Lessons Cancer taught me

Tell us about your book “Becoming the Best U – The Lessons Cancer Taught Me”

Nancy: And you know, though, I think that what was so important as Robert being my coach in writing and then him coming from the caregiver side is, know, my story wasn’t written to share why I survived or how I’ve endured. It’s about the lessons I learned.

One lesson is getting your affairs in order, and I think that everyone, whether they’re going through cancer or not, should all learn, know, get your affairs in order and what that looks like. And I’d like Robert to discuss that because that’s. Something that my caregivers had to talk to me about because all I could focus on was living and surviving. And now I just say to everyone, oh, don’t wait until you’re sick.

Robert: But if there’s some cause that you really want to contribute to your plan right now could be to give them money from your estate. But if you make it past whatever you’re going through, your plan could be to give them time from your future self. When you’re planning a remembrance of your life or a funeral, however you want to phrase that, deciding what it is you want to be remembered for is so important.

Not only does it let you reminisce about the past and the wonderful things you’ve done, it also maybe I want to be remembered for something I haven’t done yet. Certainly if you are near the end of life, or potentially near the end of life, it can be hard to plan for something that you haven’t done yet. But you can at least, like I was saying, realize the direction you want things to go. You can make them important in your will, whatever. And then if you get through this struggle, then you can start directing your life and point your life in that way. And I think that’s really important.

Conclusion

All right, guys, this was a very interesting conversation. I learned a lot from you. I am very blown away by your story surviving, stage four ovarian cancer, Nancy, Very blown away by your son and your daughters and the people that held you up when you needed holding. You know, I’m glad that you wrote the book and I’m glad that you came on the show to encourage those listening, whether they have a family member like myself that’s going through, cancer treatments, right now or they’re a survivor, and just because it’s, Cancer Awareness Month.

Early detection is basically what saves lives. Go get your screening. Do the things that you need to do to improve your chances of survival. Awesome. So your book is going to be out in October, and I’m assuming that it’ll be available on Amazon.

Robert: That is correct, yeah. Our website is, becomingthebestU.com

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/the-emotional-trials-triumphs-cancer/

 

 

 

How to Build your Self-Confidence Muscle

So What is, self- confidence? How do we define, self- confidence, and what does it look like?

Self-confidence, comes from building your confidence muscle. It increases with positive input from your parents, peers, loved ones and from your personal victories.

Today’s episode is supported by Columbus Financial.  Are you in a deep hole of “Financial Depression” with nowhere to turn for help? Constantly being harassed by collection agencies? Then visit Columbus Financial and success coach. www.columbusfinancialcoach.com

In Today’s #podcast  Arifah and I are talking on the topic of How to build, Self-confidence, we want to  shed some light on one of the top struggles of , African American women,  self-confidence,

In the co-host chair today is registered, social worker and mental health counselor, Ms Arifah Yusuf.

What is Self-Confidence?

The most important thing to remember about, self- confidence, is that we were born with it. It is our natural state.

How many of you remember your play days as kids? As a child I was always the doctor or teacher.

Boys have no fear. They would climb to the tallest point in their home, put on a cape and jump! They were Superman!

So I would define, self- confidence, as certainty. Confident and certain that you are able to handle your job, your family, social events and personal relationships.

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How do you build, self-confidence?

Self-confidence, comes from building your confidence muscle. It increases with positive input from your parents, peers, loved ones and from your personal victories.

But a large percentage of, African American women,  and men suffer from a lack of, self-confidence, because of negative input from parents, peers, and loved ones.

Usually centered on their intellect, the color of their skin, their hair, their lips, their butt, the section of town they live, their lack of designer clothing, and the list goes on.

It is important to note that lack of, self-confidence, always comes from negative comments that you believe. If you don’t let these negative comments in, they will never take root and grow.

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Here is a story showcasing how a lack of, self-confidence,  usually starts.

A surgeon opened his office one day and found a tall black man in the waiting room. He was six feet four inches tall and towered over the surgeon. He complained about his lip. You see his underlip protruded out from his top lip. His girlfriend told him she was ashamed to be seen in public with him because of his ugly lip; so he came to the surgeon to get it fixed.

The surgeon told him there was nothing wrong with his lip, it was just a minor protrusion. The black man insisted on getting it fixed; so the surgeon gave him an outrageous price of $1200 hoping he would go away.

He did, he said that he didn’t have that kind of money. But lo and behold, he came back the next day with a little black bag in his hand. He dumped the contents on the table. Bills poured out, his life savings; $1200 worth!

The doctor was shocked. He didn’t want to deprive the man of his life savings so he made him an offer. He agreed to do the surgery for a smaller fee on the condition that he tell his lady love that he paid $1200 for the surgery.

The operation was simple enough and one week later all the bandages came off and the man had a smaller lip he was proud of. All the surgery was done inside the lip so he had no visible scars except for a small scar inside the lip. The man was happy, he strode from the doctor’s office full of, self-confidence, A commanding figure. Tall, black and proud.

However a few weeks later he was back in the surgeon’s  office. His body seemed to have shrunk, his hands lost their strength, his voice squeaked. The doctor asked him what happened to him.

He said “the African Bug, sir. It got me and it’s killing me”

He told the doctor after he removed the bandages he went to see his lady love. She loved his lip and asked him how much he paid for the surgery.  When he told her $1200, she became enraged and cursed him saying she could have used that $1200 and accused him of hiding the money from her. She cursed him and told him he would die.

Deeply troubled and hurt, the man laid in his bed for 4 days worrying  about this curse that was going to kill him. Then running his tongue around, he discovered the horrible thing inside his mouth. He went to see a medical doctor who checked his mouth and confirmed that “the slimy African bug was stuck inside his mouth and it was indeed killing him.

The surgeon looked at this diminished and fearful man and asked him “Is it really in your mouth?”

“Yes sir,” the man said “the doctor tried to help get rid of it with liquids, pastes and potions – but nothing worked. The curse is too strong”. It’s burned inside my lip.

“Your lip?”

“Yes sir” the man said

“You didn’t say lip before”

The doctor ran his finger at the back of the man’s lip and told the disbelieving man that “the bug” was no more than scar tissue from his surgery.

The disbelieving man looked up in wonder and asked “then there is no African bug?”

The man stood up. Instantly he seemed to have regained his full height and strength. A rich smile spread over his face and his voice boomed out again. His, self-confidence, had returned.

The moral of this story is that you can’t get your, self-confidence, from other people. You have to take inventory of your strengths and weaknesses and deal with them on your own terms.

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Let’s bring Arifah into this, self-confidence, conversation. Arifah is a, registered social worker, specializing in, mental health issues. She is the founder and program director of Lifted by Purpose.

Lifted by Purpose Provides a diverse range of services including training, workshops with the intent to engage youth in conversations about mental health and learn practical strategies to cope with life stressors.

Arifah I am sure that a large population of your clients suffer from a lack of, self-confidence, Why do you think that is?

I think there are many reasons young people lack, self-confidence, I often work with young people who experienced unhappy childhoods or maybe their parents neglected them in some way or they weren’t involved much in their lives.

Also I’d say lack of, self -confidence, sometimes comes from negative input from teachers or authority figures in their lives. Sometimes teachers have a way of saying things that discourage young people.  Making them feel inadequate made and like they couldn’t be successful.  That kind of influenced how they feel about themselves and their, self-confidence, I’d also say young people who have experienced trauma or bullying from their peers can obviously influence their, self-confidence,

I believe that when young people don’t value themselves and sometimes that comes from people not validating them, they often lack, self-confidence,

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How to Build Your Self-Confidence through Courageous acts

As a, life coach, I believe that Courage is a byproduct of, self confidence,

It takes courage to walk up on stage and speak to an audience large or small.

It takes courage to call that guy you like and ask him out.

It takes courage to go into that interview even though you have no idea what you are going to say.

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So how do you make yourself, Face the Fear, but do it anyway?

Tell yourself that it is not going to kill you.

My grandmother used to say “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

And that’s exactly what, Feeling the fear but doing it anyway does for you. It makes you stronger, it builds your, self-confidence, muscle because even if you bombed you got practice and practice also makes perfect!

Here are my steps to build your, self-confidence, muscle on public speaking or doing a presentation at work.

  1. You can start by writing out your speech word for word and just read it
  2. Then as you get more, self- confidence, and your brain recorded that you did not die, you weren’t booed off the stage, nobody laughed at you.
  3. So the next step is to write out the headlines and speak from the heart on your headlines
  4. Sooner or later you will have, self- confidence, muscles like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Tony Robbins and command the attention of the audience.

Arifah What are your steps to building the, self-confidence, muscle?

I find that it  wasn’t only their, self-confidence muscle,  that needed to be built up, it was their self-worth,  it was a whole bunch of things there was all built into the one thing.  If we were to put a label on it,  it would be that we’re not enough.

You would not believe how many people feel that they are not enough;  even the most successful

people like, Michelle Obama, in her book “Becoming Michelle Obama” felt that she wasn’t good enough.  Why did she feel that way?  Because she was black and from the south side of Chicago!

As, African American women,  we have got a lot of things that we have to deal with, we just have to believe that we are all born with purpose and with the love of God.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GetiPNOx9dU

I have seven steps that I use to help my clients gain, self-confidence:

  1. Self-reflection – every time I meet with them, I allow them to self-reflect on their day self-reflect on things that were happening in their lives with gratitude.
  2. Acknowledgement and self-acceptance – what makes them unique because everybody is unique.
  3. Positive reinforcement – praising their effort and not obsessing over mistakes.
  4. Mastering a skill – I had the girls work on a project. They created their own YouTube video. Everyone mastered a skill in the production of the video.
  5. Communication skills – I do a lot of exercises around different forms of communication. Assertiveness,  passive, passive aggressive etc.
  6. Positive self-talk and affirmations – paying attention to their internal dialogue
  7. Pay it forward – giving back helps build, self-confidence,

To listen to the full Podcast audio, download on your favorite podcast player.

Download on the following podcast players and please remember to subscribe, rate and review if you found this content helpful.

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Additional Resources:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/joyburnford/2019/01/08/confidence-one-more-muscle-to-exercise-this-year/

 

Keep Your Vision in Front of You

Keep Your, Vision,  in Front of you – Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.

In OUT OF THE SNARES, MYRNA BERNADETTE TROTMAN shares her story of child abuse, poverty and her success as an entrepreneur. As a certified, Life Coach, she shares ten undeniable resources she used to help her achieve success and live the American Dream. This inspirational and motivational book will help you to reach your potential and achieve new levels of success in your life. Get these ten principles based on biblical principles and Universal Laws, deep down in your spirit and boldly go in the direction of your destiny:

Principle # 1. Keep Your Vision in Front of you

Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.

Like a Blacksmith, you need to keep hitting the Anvil, pounding it daily, shaping your dreams

If you build it they will come

Don’t let life’s challenges knock you off course remember:

“Circumstances does not make the man, it reveals him to himself” ~ James Allen

Man is the Lord and Master of his thoughts and thus is the maker of himself.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I tell a compelling story of my, vision, of America as my promised land. My Land of milk and honey. I kept that, vision, in front of me and kept picking myself up after each failure believing that I would succeed, and I did.

https://myhelps.us/out-of-the-snares/

A few weeks ago I was talking to a young leader, trying to upgrade his, vision casting, skills. I gave him four simple tips about communicating, vision.

1. CLARITY. Leaders, must create clarity by narrowing the focus when casting, vision. Everything that can be done in the name of God is not sign at all. It is a sign of undisciplined thinking. The leader’s job is to focus the organization on the core essentials. The more we focus on and clarify essentials, the easier it is to identify and eliminate non-essentials.

2. COMPELLING. Once your goals are clarified, it must be communicated in a way that is compelling. A, leader, who makes an unprepared sloppy presentation can make an otherwise exciting goals seem boring. Compelling, goals, produces action. Boring goals produces nothing.

3. COMMITMENT. Casting a clear and compelling, vision, without calling for commitment is a waste of everyone’s time. Real, leaders, are committed and they call others to commitment. Some leaders are hesitant to demand sacrificial commitment because they are not all-in themselves. Commitment is an example that leaders set, not a message they teach. Leadership commitment is contagious. So is leadership non-commitment.

4. COMMUNITY. Clear and compelling goals attracts committed people. As these people sacrifice for the common, community happens. Trying to create community for the sake of community creates unhealthy ingrown short-lived community. Doing goals together creates strong healthy long-term community.

SUMMARY. As a leader, you are the visionary for your church, ministry, or organization. If you communicate clear and compelling, if you model and call for commitment, you will end up with a strong healthy community. You will also accomplish your dreams.

Additional Resources:

http://blog.myhelps.us/vision-fails-5-things-can-failure/

http://blog.myhelps.us/ten-characteristics-of-an-entrepreneur-leader/

https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/resumes-cover-letters/leadership-skills

 

7 Traits of Highly Effective Sales People

The best, sales people, and most effective, sales people, are naturals. They are, extroverts, who love people, have sunny positive personalities and are highly ethical.

“I determine to render more and better service, each day, than I am being paid to render. Those that reach the top are the ones who are not content with doing only what is required of them.”

― Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman In The World

Here are seven other traits you should look for when interviewing for your sales team.

1: They fish instead of hunt

A hunter stalks his prey and then attacks. He tries to make one shot for the kill; if he misses, then he tries to find another prey and takes aim again.

A fisher man on the other hand first understands the fish he is trying to catch. In choosing a pond or lake, he knows what kinds of fish are in the pond, what kind of bait they usually bite on and when they are most likely to bite.

In the world of, sales, the hunter is the transaction seller who sells on price and usually has only one shot.

The salesperson who is a fisher man on the other hand, takes the time to learn about his customer. He understands how his product solves the problem of the customer and instead of shooting to kill; he dangles the correct bait by offering a solution and builds a relationship with the customer, before he tries to close the sale.

“Obstacles are necessary for success because in selling, as in all careers of importance, victory comes only after many struggles and countless defeats. Yet each struggle, each defeat, sharpens your skills and strengths, your courage and your endurance, your ability and your confidence and thus each obstacle is a comrade-in-arms forcing you to become better… or quit. Each rebuff is an opportunity to move forward; turn away from them, avoid them, and you throw away your future.”
― Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman In The World

2: They know when to speak and when to listen
Inexperienced, sales people, think they can win sales by over-talking their prospects. The best, sales people, use discretion and carefully crafted questions to get a prospect to close. Once they have delivered the pitch, they know to shut up and listen.

 

3: They work closely with their support staff
Closing a large customer sometimes require your solution experts. Great sales persons know when to bring in their support staff to add value to the customer.
Inexperienced, sales people, try to do everything by themselves and usually loose the sale.

4: They practice continuous learning
Great, sales people, not only learn everything about their product; but they also learn everything about their competitor’s product.
For example: Let’s say you are trying to decide between a Toyota Camry and the Honda Accord as your next vehicle. You are at the Toyota dealership and your salesperson not only tells you why the Toyota Camry is the right car for you based on the needs he uncovered during his fact finding segment of the sale; but he also tells you the all the features of the Honda Accord and why it may not be the best fit for you. He knows his product!

5: Highly Effective Salespeople love their job
Most, sales people, actually hate sales and selling. The most effective, sales people, actually enjoy it. They get up every day excited about the product and the prospects. They love the high of the win and the excitement and challenge of influencing their customers.

For these few, the high compensation is an added bonus like icing on the cake, of getting to do what they love.

6: They are self-motivated and self-directed

Companies spend a ton of money on sales managers who mostly focus on whip-cracking the bottom performers.

Great, sales people, don’t need micro managing; they are internally motivated to being the best and set their own growth goals.

7: They are honest and ethical

Highly effective, sales people, never over promise and under deliver; they never lie to get a sale. They know that trust of the sales person and the company is essential to a long term relationship with the customer.

They understand the principle that the short term gain of getting a sale on false pretenses equals long term pain.

Are You Trapped By Your Past?

As a Certified a, Life Coach, I know that we can become, trapped, by past hurt. I am trained to help my clients look back at their, past, and find clues for their future. It is not that the, past, equals the future; but that it gives you an indication of how you respond to hurts and disappointments. For example: Do you tackle them head on and fight like Rocky Balboa, or do you fold up like an umbrella like your best girlfriend and let circumstances anchor you in life?

Out of the Snares, trapped by your past
Out of the Snares, trapped by your past

In Chapter 2 of my book “Out Of The Snares” I share with my readers how I responded to a significant childhood hurt, child abuse. I used the analogy of a train traveling to a predetermined destination and hit something along the way and become derailed. That train can no longer continue on to that destination. Once derailed it is finished and we become, trapped.

I made the choice not to let the circumstances of my childhood, derail me. I choose to release, past, hurt. Instead, I chose to look at the positives that came out of that experience and allowed the lessons learned to shape me into the person I am today.
We all have a story, the successful people in life, succeed in spite of their story. I share secrets on how to use your story as the launching pad to fire you up. I teach you how to not become, trapped.

I show how the people that God placed in your life as a child, are there to teach you something. Just as in the story of Moses being raised by the Pharaoh’s daughter until he was ready for God to use him to fulfill his purpose, all the people in your life and your, past, have strategic purposes.

How to Heal, Past, hurts

We all have a mother or mother figure who helped shape us into the women we are today – whether that person is a biological mother who gave birth to us, or a mother figure such as an older sister, aunt, stepmother, grandmother, or teacher. However, the reality is that no matter who you called “mother,” this woman held power over your development throughout your life, and she may not have been the mother you needed. Whether through intentional malice, physical or emotional abuse, or unintentionally through absence or other life circumstances, you may find yourself wounded by her actions — or lack of action. This, past, hurt, influences who you become and how you live, either, trapped, or free.  Releasing, past, hurts stops the harmful impacts that can ripple through your relationships with a partner, children, and within yourself. It stops you from becoming, trapped, by these memories.

The take away from this chapter is that we all have a, past. Some more daunting than others, but under every cloud there is a silver lining. Success in life depends on how you chose to respond to the rain.

Remember that the same rain that causes the flood is the same rain that is responsible for the harvest.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

5 Ways to Let Go of, Past, Hurts

The only way you can accept new joy and happiness into your life is to make space for it. If your heart is filled full-up with pain from, past, hurt, you can’t be open to anything new.

1. Make the decision to let go of the, past.

Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to make the commitment to “let it go.” If you don’t make this conscious choice up-front, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from this, past hurt.

Making the conscious decision to let it go also means accepting you have a choice to let it go. To stop reliving the, past, pain, to stop going over the details of the story in your head every time you think of the other person (after you finish step 2 below). This is empowering to most people, knowing that it is their choice to either become, trapped, by the pain, or to live a future life without it.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

2. Take responsibility and release blame for, past hurt.

Express the pain from, past hurt, whether it’s directly to the other person, or through just getting it out of your system (like venting to a friend, or writing in a journal, or writing a letter you never send to the other person). Get it all out of your system at once and take responsibility. Blame allows you to stay a victim.  Doing so will also help you understand why specifically you are hurting.

We don’t live in a world of black and whites, even when sometimes it feels like we do. While you may not have had the same amount of responsibility for the hurt you experienced, there may have been a small part of the hurt that you are also partially responsible for. What could you have done differently next time? Are you an active participant in your own life, or simply a hopeless victim? Will you let your pain become your identity? Or will you become, trapped, by it.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

3. Stop being the victim and blaming others.

Being the victim feels good — it’s like being on the winning team of you against the world. But guess what? The world largely doesn’t care, so you need to get over yourself. Yes, you’re special. Yes, your feelings matter. But don’t confuse with “your feelings matter” to “your feelings should override all else, and nothing else matters.” Your feelings are just one part of this large thing we call life, which is all interwoven and complex. And messy.

In every moment, you have that choice — to continue to feel bad about another person’s actions, or to start feeling good. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness, and not put such power into the hands of another person. Release the shackles and get out of the snares of blame. Why would you let the person who you feel is responsible for your, past hurt, have such power, right here, right now?

No amount of rumination of analyses have ever fixed a relationship problem. Never. Not in the entirety of the world’s history. So why choose to engage in so much thought and devote so much energy to a person who you feel has wronged you?

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PODBEAN

4. Focus on the present.

Now it’s time to let go. Let go of the past, and stop reliving it. Stop telling yourself that story where the protagonist — you — is forever the victim of this other person’s horrible actions. You can’t undo the past, all you can do is to make today the best day of your life.

When you focus on the here and now, you have less time to think about the past. When the past memories creep into your consciousness (as they are bound to do from time to time), acknowledge them for a moment. And then bring yourself gently back into the present moment. Some people find it easier to do this with a conscious cue, such as saying to yourself, “It’s alright. That was the past, and now I’m focused on my own happiness and doing .”

Remember, if we crowd our brains — and lives — with hurt feelings, there’s little room for anything positive. It’s a choice you’re making to continue to feel the hurt, rather than welcoming joy back into your life.

5. Forgive them and free yourself from being, trapped.

We may not have to forget another person’s bad behaviors, but virtually everybody deserves our forgiveness. Sometimes we get stuck in our pain and our stubbornness, we can’t even imagine forgiveness. But forgiveness isn’t saying, “I agree with what you did.” Instead, it’s saying, “I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway.”

Download you copy of “Out Of The Snares” today
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE

Additional Resources

How to Forgive even when it feels impossible 

http://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-surviving-mothers-abandonment/

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

How to Run Your Sales Meetings like a Coach

Running your, sales meetings, like a, coach,  we can take lessons from, Head Coach, Bill Belichick‘s.  His greatness comes from the fact that he builds his systems around the strengths and weaknesses of his roster and it led him to 4 Super Bowl Championships. This is good coaching in the purest form; playing to the strengths of one’s personnel.

It may not be something that often crosses your mind, but a football, coach,  and small business owners have a lot in common. Both professions require leadership, dedication, commitment and a strong work ethic in order to succeed.

There is an old saying about the strength of the wolf is the pack, and I think there is a lot of truth to that. On a football team, it’s not the strength of the individual players, but it is the strength of the unit and how they all function together.” — Bill Belichick

Just like football coaches, as a small business owner or a Sales Manager; you must take on many roles to ensure everybody is working together as a team to achieve important goals and for operations to run smoothly. Here are a few other ways football coaches and small business owners play a similar game.

Running your, sales meetings, life Pre-game

To prepare for a football game the, coach,  research opponents, develop game plans and determine the best lineup of players who will help the team win. Similarly, when starting a small business, sales managers, conduct market research to understand the competition and the key economic conditions and indicators. Entrepreneurs also build a business plan, which sets the strategic framework for the organization and maps out the path forward. In addition, small business owners find top talent who will help them execute the plan and beat the competition.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

How do you, coach, During the game

Over the course of a game, head coaches, make adjustments regularly, shifting tactics to put their team in position to score and win. They consult with the assistant, coach,  to get advice on what plays they should run. Entrepreneurs and Sales Managers also make strategic moves and adjust to constantly changing market forces and customer demands.

How does your, sales teams, handle Halftime


 A, coach, typically deliver inspiring halftime speeches that motivate players to give their all and function as a team. Entrepreneurs and, Sales Managers, should also motivate their employees by providing benefit programs and encouraging their career growth through coaching and motivational curriculum, that helps to strengthen their teams’ skills. Having a motivational speaker at your monthly or quarterly sales meetings also adds a charge to your team, similar to the Half Time inspirational speeches of great coaches.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

How do you, coach, the Post-game


Following a game, coaches review footage to analyze which plays and strategies did or did not work and what improvements the team can make to defeat the next opponent. At the end of each day or period of performance, entrepreneurs crunch numbers to determine how well the business performed and identify ways to boost profits, cut costs and improve customer service.

At your Monday Morning, sales meetings, Sales Managers,  should be doing the same thing. They should be analyzing which plays resulted in closed sales and which plays didn’t. They should develop strategies and best practices from reviewing the week’s plays. Only then can they become the Tom Brady of management.

They will know the strengths and weaknesses of not only their team members but of the competition. They will know if the competition has a tendency to lead with price or service. They could then quarterback their team to run plays that would leave the competition behind or looking in the wrong direction.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Coaching your team

It’s still easy to make case for Belichick as the best.

Belichick’s Patriots are in the AFC championship game for the sixth consecutive season and the 11th time overall in his 17 seasons. If they beat the Steelers tonight and go on to win Super Bowl LI against Green Bay or Atlanta, they will win the championship for the fifth time under Belichick, which would break his tie with Noll for most Super Bowl wins as coach. Belichick’s 24 postseason wins are record and his 237 regular-season wins rank fourth all time. His record with the Patriots is 201-71, staggering .739 winning percentage. His accomplishments and consistency are terrific, especially during the free agency era.

“His handprints, his fingerprints are over that whole team,” Ben Roethlisberger said last week. “They often out, coach, their opponent. That’s credit to him, mastermind or whatever you want to call him.

“When you’re playing defense like [New England’s], you have to be prepared for everything. You may not see the same defense twice. He’ll change things up. He’ll give you looks you’ve never seen before. He’ll do things that it doesn’t matter how much you study. That’s what makes him so good. He’s difficult to go against. You look at, arguably, the most well prepared quarterback to ever play the game, Peyton Manning. How many years did Belichick supposedly have his number?”

Manning lost seven of his first eight games against Belichick and finished his Hall of Fame-worthy career 8-12 against him. Roethlisberger, by the way, is 3-against Belichick.

get that people say Belichick didn’t become great coach until he went to New England and hooked up with Tom Brady to become the best coach-quarterback combination in NFL history. Belichick’s five-year record with the Cleveland Browns from 1991 – 95 was 36 44 with four losing seasons. No one was preparing his bust for Canton back then. 

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/who-is-the-team-player-the-20-70-10-rule/

http://blog.myhelps.us/15-benefits-of-business-coaching/

 

 

Can you recognize your failure symptoms?

Are you a, failure? Can you recognize your, failure, symptoms? How often have you said “life is short”?

Well It is! We are here on earth for a limited time to fulfill a purpose. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could go to the doctor and tell him our life symptoms and he would give us a diagnosis of success or, failure? For example if you go to the doctor today with itchy bumps and a fever, he would look at you and without running any tests diagnose you with the chicken pox.

Recognizing your, failure, symptoms early in life before you get to your 5th or 6th decade is the only way to take action to modify your behaviors. As we head into 2015, I would like to offer you the gift of consciousness. Do you have any of the symptoms below? If you do, call me for a free coaching session. Take control of your life and get a step closer to success.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

Here are 5 symptoms of, failure.

1. Sleeping too much is a symptom of, failure.

Do you sleep more than 6 hours per night or day? Thomas Edison took only 2 hour naps on his desk while he was working on his inventions. He didn’t want to sleep because he was so invested in his work. He called sleep a waste of time.

I read Donald Trump’s biography and he said that he hated going to sleep because he was so excited about his business and he didn’t want to miss anything.

Donald Trump credits only sleeping for three or four hours with staying ahead of his competition. “How does somebody who’s sleeping 8 and 10 hours a day compete with someone that’s sleeping three or four?” he’s said.

Political leaders across the globe run their countries on short spurts of shuteye. President Obama has said he can get by on a four-hour doze. Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher ran the U.K. for a decade, on four hours a night.

The saying “the early bird catches the worm” is meant to tell you that rising early is best if you want to catch the opportunities. If you go to bed early and sleep late, that is a, failure symptom, that you will not be successful.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

2. Are you an, Introvert, or an Extrovert

A shy kid might look longingly at other kids playing in the schoolyard, afraid and unsure about how to approach them, but an introvert is perfectly content on her own.
Laurie Helgoe

Introverts, are sometimes called the “walking sleepers”. Introverts, usually allow activity to pass by them without participation, indulge in time killing pursuits, taking only the most minor role or unconstructive parts. Introverts, are also the solitaire players, the pathological bookworms, the endless crossword puzzlers, the couch potatoes. In order to succeed in business or life, you need to have the ability to sell yourself, you need social skills. You don’t have to be the life of the party; but you must be able to be comfortable at the party. Being an, introvert, and sleepwalking through life is a, failure symptom.

3. Are you drinking more than 2 drinks daily?
Drinking heavily brings on a waking sleep. Drinking affects your ability to think straight and handicaps the drinker. You will not be able to contribute fully in staff meetings, argue sensibly, plan or be proactive if you are under the influence of alcohol and thus could become a, failure.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

4. Extreme extroverts

“I always thought I was an extrovert until I became a theatre major. Then I realized I just didn’t like silence.”
― Cora Carmack, Losing It

Do you count the day lost if you did not attend a dinner party, go to a movie theater, dancing at a club or hanging out with friends? To be successful you need time alone to plan, to be creative and to ponder your next move.

5. Having no goals could lead to, failure

Dr William Menninger says “a fellow must know where he wants to go, if he is going to get anywhere”

No goals are bad enough but low goals are worst. Is your goal to just keep your job and make just enough money to pay your bills? Is it to live to retirement and then collect social security? Or is it to be the top player in the “candy crush” video game?
The bible says “people without a vision will perish”. Not necessarily physical death, but spiritual death. It is exhilarating to work towards a goal. Happiness is defined as working towards a goal.

“We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we’ve established for ourselves.”

The great leaders and legends of our time, all had goals, vision, mission and as they achieved one goal, they started on the next.

10 Signs You Are Going To Be A, Failure

  • You love wasting money and expect your parents to foot the bill. …
  • You are not disciplined. …
  • You don’t finish what you start. …
  • You love playing the blame game. …
  • You don’t believe in yourself. …
  • You don’t set goals. …
  • You care too much about what others think. …
  • You don’t take care of your health.

Join me for a Free webinar on how to set and achieve clear goals, how to create vision and mission statements, how to motivate your staff to excel and how to create influence.

<a href=”http://blog.myhelps.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/register-now.jpg”>register now

Additional Resources 

10 Tips to Achieve Anything You Want in Life

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-set-strong-goals/

Transform Your Mind Personal Development podcast.

 

How To Turn Your Pain Into Power

Abigail Damoah was wrongly convicted and sent to prison for 12 years. During this dark time in her life, she used inspiration for the bible story of David to find her, life purpose, of helping the women in, prison. She turned her, pain into power, and achieved tremendous personal growth by not seeing herself as a, victim.

Download podcast here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9986464-how-to-turn-your-pain-into-power.mp3?download=true

Bio

After serving five years in a Florida state prison for a crime that she didn’t commit, and then two years later being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and undergoing major surgery to remove most of her colon, Abigail learnt one very important life lesson; you will find treasure in the darkest places if you simply change your perspective by turning her, pain into power.

During her, incarceration, Abigail became a Christian and learnt that life isn’t just about her. She was surrounded by women who had endured the most horrific traumatic childhoods and were now being victimized by the very system that was supposed to help them. She found the strength to end her pity party, opening her eyes to the immense suffering of others.

She began to use her gifts to make an impact on the lives of the women she was housed with. It was during the worst season of her life that she experienced true peace, contentment, and fulfilment because she found her life’s purpose, and learned how to turn her, pain into power.  Abigail is the author of ” She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny”

book: She is Risen Turning Pain into Power
book: She is Risen Turning Pain into Power

Using Adversity to turn pain into power

Myrna: All right, so here we have a whole bunch of, adversity. Being sentenced to 12 years in, prison, even if it’s for a crime you do commit, it is very traumatic. It is worst when it is a crime that you didn’t commit.

Can you share your story, why you were sentenced to 12 years in, prison? I know you said you only served five of those 12 years.  Tell us how you survived that and turned that, pain into power?

Abigail: Okay, so I had my dream to live in America.  I’m from the United Kingdom and after I finished my undergraduate degree. I relocated to Atlanta, Georgia to study and pursue an MBA. I got an internship in Florida. I flew down to Florida and I met a man.  One night he called wanting to go out to a nightclub, and I agreed. He came and picked me up and we made our way to the nightclub and ended up having a car accident where he was killed, and I was seriously injured.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

My injuries were so extensive that I spent over six weeks in the hospital. My parents at the time decided the best course of action was to take me back to the UK, because there’s no way I was going to be able to look after myself in the USA.  I recuperated and got back on my feet. And then in 2011, the state of Florida issued an extradition warrant for my arrest. I was charged with vehicular homicide. The legal definition for that is reckless driving.

So, I was accused of driving in such a dangerous manner that caused death or great bodily harm to another. While I was waiting for the extradition, I began to study the laws surrounding my case and discovered that I should never have been charged with a crime in the first place. The state of Florida had sent over the deposition, the discovery and detail they had a very detailed chronology, of exactly what happened. And one of the things that should have exonerated me from the beginning, was the fact that the road was under reconstruction at the time, so they had taken down all the speed signs.

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Extradition to the USA

There were no warning signs that the road was about to change and if you’re not familiar with that road, you would not know that you need to slow down. So, when an accident happened, all of a sudden, a curve came up and I hit the curb and the car ended up flipping over and going into a tree. So, based on that alone, I should never have been charged with a crime. But if you know anything about the laws in the United States, you know, sometimes it can be a bit one sided.

I was extradited to America to stand trial. I had a judge who had no legal integrity, because of the way my case had been portrayed in the media. She was determined to make an example out of me. I was found guilty sentenced to 12 years Florida State Prison. After serving 5 years, the case was dismissed.

Myrna: Wow. So sorry to hear what you have been through. I’m assuming you were driving.

Abigail:  Yes, I was driving, it wasn’t my car.

Myrna: Yeah, that’s what I thought because he came to pick you up.

Abigail: The reason I was driving was because he got so drunk, that he was unable to continue the journey.  I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The Pain of prison

Myrna: So sorry for your pain. But the fact that the case was dismissed, I’m assuming that you’ve cleared your name.

Abigail: Yes, yes. My name is completely cleared. The sentence was vacated, and I was released from, prison.

Myrna: Did you get any money for it?

Abigail: No, absolutely nothing. The state of Florida had laws to protect themselves against wrongful convictions. So, I was knocked out of financial assistance there. But, it was a driving force behind what I do now because I had to start my life from scratch.  I had to use the gifts that I had been given to build a life for myself, and turn my, pain into power.  I didn’t have anything. I came back to nothing, but God worked it out for my good.

Going through the tunnel of adversity

Myrna: Well, they say that a lot of times, we must go through the tunnel, we must be beaten down all the way to the bottom, before we find our, purpose.  We all go screaming into it because we really don’t want to go through pain, we don’t want to hit rock bottom. I’m in this space where I interview a lot of people and I remember talking to this woman.  Her husband died and she started her coaching practice helping other women handle, grief. She turned her, pain into power, but we all prefer not to go through the pain even if it is the fire starter to our, life purpose.

So how did you manage after also being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and having most of your colon removed?

Abigail: I wasn’t raised in a Christian household, but I had a lot of Christian friends. If there’s one thing that I learned from them, even while I wasn’t a believer, was that they had this ability to see past their circumstances. So, before I even arrived in America, they were already speaking life into my situation. They were already telling me that this was going to work out for my good, something good is gonna come out of this.

And it wasn’t until, I became a Christian and I began to read the Bible and I began to apply those principles, that I was strengthened in that area. God gave me a perspective that enabled me to see things through his eyes, he gave me the ability to step outside of myself. I was surrounded by people who are who were suffering, who have been through women the worst heinous things.  My whole perception changed.

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Helping people in prison turn their pain into power

Not only are people dying from much worse situations than I had, but I had to reframe my situation to say, okay, I’m in, prison, now, what can I do while I’m here to make an impact on the lives of the women that I am housed with? How do I turn my, pain into power?

I had a writing gift and there are women that couldn’t read or write. I remember the very first time I tapped into that.  There was a woman that I was, bunking in, prison, she had a terrible situation, her children have been taken into DCF custody because of her arrest.

So, I wrote a letter for her. explaining the situation to DCF, speaking in legal terminology. She wanted her children to be put into the custody of her sister while she was in, prison, and lo and behold, that’s exactly what happened. Two weeks later, she came to me, I mean, she was in floods of tears. She was so grateful that I took the time to do this for her, and it was at that moment that I realized that what my, purpose, is connected to my gift of writing. Writing was how I was going to turn my, pain into power.

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TuneIn Radio

Figuring out my life purpose

I also realized that my, purpose, had nothing to do with me, it was to enrich the lives of the people that I am surrounded by. So, from that moment, my prayers changed from Lord get me out of here, I can’t take this anymore to Lord who are the people in, prison, that you want me to impact?  That started a tsunami of work. My inmates just started coming to get the help they needed.  I started helping them write letters, probation letters, letters to their family, etc. It was one of the most, fulfilling aspects of my time in, prison.

Myrna: Now, how did you take own ownership of your situation? What was your internal dialogue?

Abigail: I dropped the, victim mentality. You know, it’s so easy when you’re going through a situation whatever it is, it’s so easy to point the finger and say is your fault that I’m here, but when you play the, victim, you are not helping anybody. You’re not helping yourself and you’re not helping anyone else. When I was in the, victim, state I felt so sorry for myself. You know, such an injustice had taken place.

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iHeart Radio

Victims have no power

I was depressed, I was in a place of desolation, I couldn’t sleep at night, I had no peace. But the moment I relinquished that, victim mentality, I came to the revelation that it wasn’t the state of Florida that put me in, prison, to punish me. I was placed there strategically to be empowered, and then to empower. I was placed there to turn my, pain into power.

So once my, mindset, changed, I was able to say I am going to use this situation to become the best person that I be and to help as many people as I can while I’m in here. That is exactly how I took ownership of my situation. I took the power out the hands in the state of Florida, and turned, my pain into power, because, victims, have no power.

Myrna: This is so true. Victims have no power. In my book, Out of the Snares, A story of Hope and Encouragement, I have a full chapter on, victims.  My story was that I was abused as a child, but I never became a, victim. In fact, what I suggest we become a, player. You know, when you are playing a game of blackjack and the cards that you’re dealt with are bad cards?  People use those same bad cards to win, in the same way when you become a, player instead of becoming a, victim, you play with the cards you are dealt.  And that’s exactly what you did, you became a, player in the game, you decided that these are the cards that I’ve been handed, and I am going to make the best of the situation. I am going to turn this, pain into power.

How to become a player and turn pain into power

Myrna: You could have played the “what if game”. What if I didn’t go out? What if I didn’t agree to drive?  But instead you said it happened. There’s no way you can go backwards, all you can do is make the best of the situation that you have right now and use it to help people and learn from it and turn your, pain into power.

What is the lesson that that that you took out of that? Were you able to equate it to a, Bible story? I want to talk about Joseph who was thrown in, prison, and it was strategic to God’s plan for him.  And I am also thinking of a Job which is the chapter reading now in the Bible and all the bad things that happened to him.

Job declared God does only do good things for you. God does good things, and he does bad things.

Abigail: Joseph was one of my favorite stories in the Bible. And it wasn’t until I got to that Genesis chapter 37, where Joseph was put in, prison, that I found strength in my situation. Prison, shaped Joseph into the man that God needed him to be. I knew that my time in, prison, was in God’s hands, just based on that story alone. I learned a lot from Joseph and his, mindset, during that time. He refused to be a, victim, he used his time to assist other people. He was looking for others to help while he was, incarcerated, and it opened the door to his freedom.

Myrna: Yes, exactly helping people got him introduced to the king.

Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV – How to Trun Your pain into power 

Using dreams and visions for your purpose

Abigail: That was a very powerful story for me, and I used that, bible story, to empower myself.  So my God has given me dreams and visions, and I knew that, okay, I’m not living the dream and the vision now, but it is this situation here that is going to lead me to the destiny that God has for me and I had to remind myself of that daily.

Myrna: That’s amazing, I am loving our conversation.  One of my personal mantras is that just like an airplane needs resistance to take off the ground, we need resistance to move up our next level. And whenever I have resistance in my life, when I was working full time when I received resistance eg. one door closed or something, I always knew that resistance was supposed to push me forward and up. The door closing from being fired got me into, Life coaching, helping women to, transform their mind.

A lot of women, especially minority women live in the, wilderness, and in order for them to get out of the, wilderness, they have to change their, mindset.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny

Tell us about your book, your book is called “She Is Risen from Destitute To Destiny.” Why did you write it? And what do you want people to walk away with?

Abigail: I wrote the book because I knew that I had a story to tell number one, and it wasn’t a story of the tragedies, but stories of, empowerment. The book a memoir, going back to my childhood, I packed a lot of things and I think that’s very important that you need to go back to, to know why things are the way they were. So, I went through that process in the book, I had a very turbulent teenage years, connected to childhood. But despite those challenges, I still managed to make something all my life, and it didn’t come easily, or immediately at all.

It was a very, very difficult situation and a very, very difficult process. And I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but what I do know is that you can, turn your pain into power, if you change your perspective on a situation.  I could have not written this book. I could have so easily come out of, prison, and just felt sorry for myself, and accept government assistance and nobody would have blamed me

Teaching others how to overcome adversity

So, I had to look at the situation and ask myself what have I learned from this? And not only what have I learnt from it, but now what can I do about it? I decided I can teach other people about how to overcome, adversity.  One of the things that helped me while I was, incarcerated, were the different, prison ministries. People would share these terrible stories, but they got through it, and that’s something that inspired me.

Myrna: Well, that’s the reason I asked you if you’re going into the, prison, and doing, prison ministry, because I know your story is powerful. Now you are on the radio, podcast and PTWWN TV, sharing your story, not only the people that are in, prison, is going to hear this, but people all over the world. Your story doesn’t just speak to someone in, prison, but speaks to any women in the, wilderness, the, wilderness, can be any dry place.

Additional Resources

Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

 

 

How to Consciously Plan Personal Growth

As a Life Coach, I know that the secret to, personal growth,  is to consciously plan for it. It doesn’t just happen.  We all know the acorn lives in the oak tree!  But unlike the Oak tree, personal growth, is not pre-programmed into your DNA. You need to have a plan for, personal growth.

“You can’t see the picture if you are the frame”~ Les Brown

Hire a, Life coach, invest in you!. A, Life coach, is able to Help you see the entire picture.

Personal Growth Podcast
Personal Growth Podcast

Introduction to Personal Growth

Think about it. When you were growing up, your pediatrician would have you stand by a growth chart and he was able to determine how healthy you were by your growth as it related to his growth chart.

In a similar way, you can determine your professional health by your, personal growth, chart.
Did you stop growing and learning when you left school? The secret to, personal growth, is that you have to plan to grow every day?

That management promotion you are asking God for will not come if you don’t proactively do the work to acquire the skills. That spouse or healthy relationship will not come unless you proactively work at becoming the best you. Your business will not grow unless you have a growth plan, commonly called a business plan.

Below is Starbucks proactive plans for, Personal  Growth:

The People’s Republic Of Starbucks
Speaking last month at an investors’ conference in Seattle, Belinda Wong, head of Starbucks in China, said the company was opening an outlet every day on average in the world’s second-largest economy.

“This year we have a higher ambition,” she told shareholders. “We will open on average one store every 18 hours.”

The company just opened its 1,500th outlet in the country, considered a milestone for the company that views China as a major source of growth this year. It wants 3,000 outlets by 2019, compared with its current 11,000 in the U.S.
Unlike in the U.S., Starbucks in China targets affluent cosmopolitan professionals and students, and puts stores near where they shop, study or work.
“Starbucks’ China and Asia-Pacific region is one of the new target areas for the company, where it intends to focus its near-term growth. Starbucks,” said a research note from Trefis.

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5 Tips to Help You Meet Your, Business Goals,  by Entrepreneur.com magazine.

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/246435

1. Define your projects.

The first and most important thing in, personal growth and development, is to figure out what projects you are dealing with. First, what is a project? My definition is anything that takes more than a few easy tasks to get done. Setting up that new sales software? That’s a project. Expanding your network? Yep, that’s a project, too. Growing your business? That’s a collection of projects!

Some of your, self improvement, projects will be pretty obvious, but others will lurk in the background unacknowledged. To unearth all of your projects, write down everything you’re currently working on and everything you want to be working on. Then, group that list around specific, personal growth,  goals.
That action will likely lead you to your project list. You may have 10 to 20 (or even more) projects on this list, but to be effective, you’ll want to pick the two to five projects that are most important, and focus on those for the remaining tips.

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iHeart Radio

2. Give your personal growth projects a start and end date.

You should know (or decide) when each, self improvement, project should start and end. This will allow you to sequence projects by prioritizing them based on when they need to start or be finished. Start and end dates will also allow you to plan around your own business cycles and prevent projects from going on for much longer than they should.

3. Make a one-page plan for Self Improvement

A little, personal growth and development, planning goes a long way to helping a project succeed. To create a one-page plan, jot down your answers or notes for each of the following questions:
• What problem will the project solve?
• What is the benefit to the organization?
• What kind of staff and budget do I need?
• What are the major milestones?
• What are the potential stumbling blocks?
• What risks does this project pose?
• What is my work, self improvement, plan (list of tasks or sub-items to be completed by when)?
• What are the specific metrics for success?
• How will you know the project is done?
Note: if you’re going to keep the plan to one page, your answers need to be relatively concise!

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Download on Spotify

4. Establish communication routines.

For any project that involves multiple team members, set up communication routines in advance. Will someone be reporting progress weekly? Monthly? Will there be a recurring call for all parties to check in? Who is responsible for checking on whether the project is meeting its milestones?

5. Know if and when to quit personal development

In the, personal development, space, it’s best to finish what you start, sometimes it’s necessary to pull the plug. If you have all of your projects laid out, with start and end dates and a clear one-page plan that includes milestones and communication guidelines, you should have all the information you need to know when to quit a project.
Certainly it’s not always easy to quit, especially if you’ve already committed a lot of time, energy and emotion. But if a, personal development,  project is dragging on.

Here are some questions that can help you think through whether or not to abandon your, personal development, Goals:

• Is the goal of this, personal growth,  project still important to my organization?
• What was the planned ROI for this project? What is the ROI now?
• What is my opportunity cost in working on this? Could I better achieve my goals by spending this time on other projects?
• What is the emotional toll of continuing with this project.

Finally, commit to Constant and Never Ending Improvement (CANI) that is, self improvement.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I share that as a Limousine Operator, I went to the National Limousine Association annual meeting in Las Vegas every year. Every year I would practice, personal growth and development, by learning from the best operators in the business on how to use technology, improve on services and expand on my products. That allowed me to have a 30% annual growth rate and win the Entrepreneur of the year award in 1998. My intention was to become the largest operator in the Greater Toronto area and have a fleet of over 100 limousines. The secret? A, personal growth, plan!.

“Reach for the moon, even if you miss, You will land among the Stars” ~ Les Brown

The Importance of Constant and Never-Ending Improvement required for, personal growth

• Sometimes when you’re prepared to step out and be different you’re going to cop some criticism
• Don’t wait until you’ve got everything 100% right before you get started. Get it 80% right and then continue to improve it as you go
• By being different – you will also be memorable!
• Have high targets to stretch you for, personal growth.  They said man would never land on the moon…but he did. If you don’t aim high, you’ll never get where you want to be.
• Fear is what stops you from setting what people would say are ‘unrealistic goals’
• The famous Australian Cricket batsman, Sir Donald Bradman had this philosophy every time he came out to bat: I’m going to hit it for 6! If I don’t get a 6, then I may get a 4. If I don’t get a 4 then I’ll get either a 3 or a 2 or a 1. But at least I’ll get something!
• The average Real Estate Agent in earns $23,000 – $24,000. You can’t afford to be average!
• It’s not about selling…it’s about people. Be a people-helper because that is the key to your success in sales
• A Real Estate client’s lifetime value is $127,000.  If you look after them and keep in contact with them. What’s the lifetime value of your clients?
• Provide a guarantee for your clients and this will give you the edge over your competition
• If you’re prepared to step out and take risks – and overcome your fears – you will become a leader in your industry
• Develop your daily rituals of success
• Exercise will help you keep your stress levels low and enable you to be more productive
• We spend too much time wasting our time – and not improving ourselves
• Shut up and listen! Really listen! If you can’t work out your client’s needs in the first 10 – 15 minutes, then you shouldn’t be in sales
• Honesty and Transparency are crucial to long term success
• Serve others and not yourself

Adobe Photoshop PDF

Pick up your copy of “Out of the Snares” and understand the how having a, Life coach, can help you grow intentionally by helping you see the “Picture in the Frame” . Learn how to get motivated by your passion and natural abilities. “Out of the Snares” is the story of my vision to become a US citizen and my journey to leaving a Legacy for my children. The secret to my growth was I committed to constant and never ending improvement.

Order your copy today.https://myhelps.us/book-order/

Trying to see the picture? Need help understanding your DNA and what is in your seed? Let me Help you.

Additional Resources

7 Strategies to Personal Growth

How to Awaken to Your Soul Purpose

Your, soul purpose, is to awaken to consciousness and have a human experience through your body. Your, soul, or spirit is eternal.

Welcome to the mindset transformation radio show and podcast. Today’s show is very special to me! I am going to share with you an interview with Neale Donald Walsh, author of, “The Conversations with God,” series on, “How to Awaken Your Soul’s Purpose,”
This is special to me because his book revealed deep truths to me. My eyes were opened in wonderment!
Here are some of the revelations from the book “The Conversations with God’

Truths about Prayer and Soul Purpose 

When you pray in order for your prayer to be received by God it must be in a frequency that he can hear. Just as you cannot hear this radio program if my words were not modulated to be transported over the communication lines and then demodulated back so that you can hear them. It is the same way that prayer works. Except the modulator is faith. Jesus never healed anyone who did not have faith. He said “Your faith has made you whole” So if you are asking God to grand you the desires of your heart and you don’t believe that he will, your prayers will never be answered unless it is connected to your, soul purpose.

The other part of the prayer mechanics is this:
You will not have that which you ask, nor anything you want because your request is a statement of lack.
Saying you want a thing only works to produce that precise experience – wanting- in your reality.
Abraham of the Law of Attraction books teaches the same thing.
You have to see yourself in position of the thing you want and not what you don’t want, because if you think of what you don’t want, that is exactly what you will attract and that will show up. Wondering why you keep attracting the same no good man into your experience? That is because you are so detailed in what you don’t want in a man and the Universe complies!

So when you pray you must engage faith and thank God for giving you the desires of your heart and your, soul purpose. You need to tell him all the things you do want in a man. Be just as detailed and then believe him for it. Walk in it. Believe that you already have such a man!

Truths about Relationships and Purpose 

It is only through your relationship with people, places and events that you can exist in the universe. You are only who you are, relative to what another person is not. That is why opposites attract! Your, soul, is always looking for its counterpart to complete itself!

When human relationships fail (and they never really fail, they just did not produce the result you wanted), is because they were entered into for reasons not beneficial to their survival and, soul purpose.
The, purpose, of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you would like to see show up not what part of another you can capture and hold.  This revelation made me look at the, purpose, of my marriage from Gods eyes.
The good news is that this marriage survived when the others failed because it had a purpose. One of them was to reveal myself to me.

Truths about Abundance and Soul Purpose 

What is an abundant mindset?
Let’s say that you are walking down the road one day and you see a homeless person begging on the street corner. You go into your wallet and notice you have $7, a $5dollar bill and 2 singles. You start to give the homeless person the $5 bill but decide instead to get him the 2 singles. Why did you change your mind about giving the $5 bill? Was it because you felt that it was too much money to part with? Did you feel that you needed it more than the homeless person?

None of these answers suggest an abundant mindset. You are operating from a spirit of lack.
The most rapid way to change a root thought or sponsoring idea is to reverse the thought-word-deed process.
Do the deed that you want to have the new thought about, then say the words that you want to have the new thought about. Do this often and you’ll train the mind to think a new way.
You are what you think you are. When the thought is a negative one, you have to find a way to break out of the cycle. So much of your present experience is based on your previous thought.

Abundance Mindset and Purpose

Let’s say You need $5000 more to close on your new home. You receive a message from God to give $2000 to a sister in the church who just lost her house in a fire. You obey because you have faith that your God is able. Your common sense tells you that you are stupid and that you will never get the money back; but you act on Gods promise. You use the words that God will provide the increase.
He does, a few days later; a check for $10,000 shows up in the mail.
I listened to a message from Joyce Meyers a few weeks back, she shared a similar story. She said that she was broke and laying in bed age her Breast cancer surgery feeling very fearful about her financial situation. Both she and her husband was in full time ministry and depended on her ability to preach for their income. She wouldn’t be able to work for some time.
Then the doorbell rang and someone brought her a check for $10,000. Someone she did not know, but who God sent. From that moment, onward she did not operate out of fear or lack, she knew that God was able. When you are on a journey that matches your, soul purpose, miracles happen.

Soul expressions

When was the last time you cried with joy, wrote poetry, made music, danced in the rain, baked a pie, painted anything, fixed something that was broken, kissed a baby, held a cat to your face, kissed your dog, swam naked, walked at sunrise, played a harmonica, talked till dawn, made love for hours on a beach or in the woods, communed with nature, searched for God, sat alone in silence, or traveled to the deepest part of your being?
When was the last time you said hello to your, soul?
Wow! After reading this I made note to say hello to my, soul, more often. I need to go skinny dipping at the beach, I need to dance in the rain and make love for hours in the woods!

So how do you awaken to your soul purpose?

Your, soul, doesn’t care what you do for a living, the, soul, only cares what you are being, while you are doing what you are doing.

The function of the, soul, is to indicate its desire, not impose it.
The function of the mind is to choose from its alternatives.
The function of the body is to act out that choice.
Your, soul, has brought you to the words you are reading or listening to right now.

How I found my, soul purpose.

One day I was reading a local newspaper. Who reads newspapers these days? I never did. But this day now only did a newspaper appear in my space; but I was guided to pick it up and flip through the pages. In one of the pages was a photograph of someone I thought I recognized so I stopped to look at it. It had her name and the title beside her name, Life coach! I had never seen that word before or heard it anywhere but I knew immediately that was what I was supposed to do.
My, soul, has been directing me all my life. It always brings me to where I need to be and the people I need to be with.

True masters are those who have chosen to make a life, rather than a living.

Life’s irony is that as soon as worldly goods and worldly success are of no concern to you, the way is open for them to flow to you.
I do this for free! Open the windows of heaven Lord!

There comes a time in the evolution of every, soul, when the chief concern is no longer the survival of the physical body, but the growth of the, spirit; no longer the attainment of worldly success but the realization of self.

The goal and, purpose, of your, soul, is to fully realize itself while in your body. To become the embodiment of all that it really is.

Listen to the author Neale Donald Walsh go into detail

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Additional Resources

How to Accelerate Your Soul Journey: Clear these Money Blocks

How to Program Yourself for Positive Change

Positive change, is identifying the things that are most important in your life, and then start eliminating everything else. This is all about simplifying your life, so that you can focus on the things that matter most to you and prevents you from getting distracted.

 

Here are some tips on Positive Change from the book “Switch”

How to, change, things when, change, is hardby Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Here are the facts:

Change, is a process.

1: Positive Change, is usually a situation problem, and not a personal problem.
2: For anything to, change, someone must behave differently.
3: To, change, someone’s behavior, you must, change, someone’s situation.
4: For, positive change, to stick you must influence the person’s heart and mind.

A Story on Positive Change

Arthur was an airborne paratrooper. Jumping out of airplanes killed his knees, his back, his legs. When he got out of the army he walked with a cane and couldn’t do anything so he gained a lot of weight. He could not support his weight, so he couldn’t do traditional exercise. His health rapidly declined. The doctor at the VA clinic told him to accept his faith, that he would never walk normal again.

One day while surfing the internet, he came across Diamond Dallas Page doing yoga. He said to himself, I could do this. So He bought the DVD! He figured he could use his arm to support his weight and get a cardio workout. Arthur was 297 lbs when he started doing yoga.
When he started his yoga exercises, he kept falling down and falling down, but he kept getting back up again and again!
Every day he got better and better in 10 months he had lost over 100 lbs and could not only walk without a cane but he could run!!

Change, is usually situational. Arthur had a situational problem.

Arthur taught himself to do yoga because he decided to take control of his life. He got his heart and mind in the game and changed the situation!

Change is a process.

To lead a process requires persistence. Arthur kept getting back up and trying again to do his exercises.

When a, positive change, starts, it builds on itself.
The better Arthur got at yoga, the more he was motivated to keep going.
Positive change,  can snowball.
Change, rarely works unless it is motivated by feeling. Arthur wanted to feel better about himself so he made the hard choices.

That’s my tip of the week from coach Myrna.

How to change when change is hard.

There can be nothing harder than trying to loose 100 lbs when you can’t use your legs; but Arthur found a way and so can you.

Our guest today is coach Dan Willms and he is a, positive change, guru. This is his space.

Dan Willms is a Life & Business Coach, an MBA Professor, a facilitator for The Leadership Challenge, a writer and an International Speaker – he is also the creator of the Positive Change Workshop and facilitates his workshops in Portuguese, English & Spanish. He has facilitated more than 118 Positive Change Workshops. He loves helping people and organizations to achieve their fullest potential. He is the co-author of the book Strategic Leadership (Liderança Estratégica) and the author of the upcoming book “Positive Change – One life @ a time”.

Dan is also my partner, we do a video blog on YouTube every week called “You asked for it” where we answer questions sent in from our social media network. Like us on Facebook to become part of our community. Myrna Young Lifecoach and Dan Willms.

Using I am Affirmations for Positive change

I am affirmations, formulate, affirm, and perpetuate the stories you tell yourself. Stories about who you are, who you can be, and what you can do. I Am affirmations, are a powerful way to, program yourself, for, positive change.

If you want to make a, change, start where you are. Start with who you are. Support yourself right here, before you have all the answers. Do that and you’ll feel more supported in the process. And that can, change, well, everything.

  1. I am a living, breathing example of the kind of world I want to live in.
  2. I am a powerful force for good in the world.
  3. I am on the right path. I am moving in the right direction.
  4. I am worthy of all things wonderful.
  5. I am being guided to what’s best for me and everyone else.
  6. I am powerful enough to live in accordance with my own values, desire, and truths.
  7. I am in the exact place I need to be to get to where I want to be.
  8. I am intentionally promoting a life filled with joy.
  9. I am a firm believer in my ideas.

Show notes Positive Change

Question 1. Tell us about your journey to becoming a Life coach and an ambassador for, positive change.
Question 2: What is The, Positive Change?
Question 3: Tell me about your happiness labs, how does it work?
Question 4: : What were your findings on these labs from your sample size of 400 people?
Question 5: So, based on your labs, what would you say is the secret to happiness?
Question 6: Why do you think is there so much unhappiness in the world?

Additional Resources

How to Transform your Career with Purpose

The Events in Life Work Together for Your Good

The bible promises in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” That means that every challenge, trauma, disappointment, in life,  works together, for your good.

In “Out of the Snares” the book, I introduce my book with these words:

The greatest gift we can give others is hope. Somewhere out there someone is going through a storm of great magnitude; the pain is so great that they are considering suicide.

The purpose of this book “Out of the Snares,” is to give such a person, Hope. Hope that God promises “all things, in life, work together, for your good.”

Hope, that like the caterpillar that goes through the darkness before turning into a butterfly, your storm is designed to make you stronger, to cook you into a diamond so that God can use you to encourage others.

The darkness in life is meant to show you the way

As you come out of darkness and into God’s light, you become self-sufficient and proactive instead of reactive. Think about it. Just as the caterpillar does not know, when he is a caterpillar he will ultimately become a butterfly; when you are in your darkness, you don’t believe this you will ever see the light. “Out of the Snares” is written to remind you that the darkest part of the night is just before dawn. Joy does indeed come in the morning.

You have to walk by,  faith. Faith,  is defined as “the ability to trust the outcome of a thing even though you can’t see it.” I am the evidence. God has brought me from a mighty long way. I have achieved every goal that I set for myself and I am working on the next goal right now. Every event in my life, worked together, for my good.

In this book “Out of the Snares” I share with you, my readers, the principles of the Bible and the Universal Laws or Truths that I stood on to win. Order your copy today.https://myhelps.us/book-order/

Events in life work for your good Joseph’s story

The principle of God working all things together for good is well illustrated in the Old Testament account of Joseph’s life. Early in Joseph’s life, Joseph’s jealous brothers sold him into slavery. In Egypt, Joseph rises to a position of responsibility. Then, he is unjustly imprisoned and forgotten about by his friends. God gifts him the ability to interpret dreams, and through that ability Joseph is once again raised to a place of honor and power. When drought forces Joseph’s brothers to seek food elsewhere, they travel to Egypt and encounter Joseph, who eventually saves them from starvation and grants them a livelihood in his new land.

Throughout his life, Joseph trusted God no matter his good or bad circumstances. Joseph experienced plenty of bad things: kidnapping, slavery, false accusations, wrongful imprisonment, rejection, and famine. But in the end God brought things to a wonderful, life-affirming conclusion. God blessed Joseph’s entire family through those painful circumstances and through Joseph’s faith. (You can read about Joseph’s life beginning in Genesis 37.)

Romans 8:28 is a promise for believers. Real believers. Those who are living for Christ. Not those who claim to believe in God but are living like the devil.

This verse says to those who love God and are doing their best to obey his commands, “Even though bad/sad/evil/wicked things will happen to you, in life,  God will use them to, work together, for your good, both, in your life, and in the world.”

Additional Resources

Nothing is Impossible: How to Turn Life’s Challenges Into Opportunity

How to Find your Passion, Your Burning Bush!

How to find your passion,  It is that thing that you were created to do. It is your, Burning Bush, that makes you feel like you transcended your body and entered into the heavens. Passion, it is the thing that you would do all day, for Free.

In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement, I share, How to find your passion, regardless of life circumstances.

That is how to, find your passion.

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”
— Field Marshal Ferdinand Foch

Introduction How to Find your Passion

One of the self-evaluation questions I ask my new clients is “If you were the Powerball winner of 500,000,000, what would you do with your time?” You see when you take away the need to earn money, then your head becomes clear as to what your, passion, really is. If you are looking to, find your passion, this is how you find it.

Free Download: Out of the Snares, How to Heal your Brokenness
Out of the Snares, passion

In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”  I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their, passion, their, burning bush, into its monetary equivalent. Their, passion,  was like a, “burning bush, ” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.

How did Walt Disney, find his passion? For Walt Disney it was drawing and Art. Walt started drawing as an ambulance driver in the army and discovered he loved to draw. Then he became a Commercial Artist. After being let go from his company, he decided to start his own graphics company. His company failed from bad management. Walt had a string of failures that included bankruptcy before he found success. He married Art with imagination and created the happiest place on earth. His passion for drawing birth an empire that has gross revenues today in the billions of dollars.

Walt Disney World is now visited by over 5 million families every year. Annual cash flow from Disney’s consortium of products and films are in excess of 21 billion dollars. It includes 535 Disney stores, a cable television station, amusement parks in Orlando, California, Paris and more. All because he would not let the fire in his belly die.

How did Sylvester Stallone find his passion?

Sylvester Stallone was born disabled. He suffered injury at birth that left one side of his mouth deformed and caused him to speak funny. Sylvester’s passion was born from being hungry. Like Les Brown would say

“You got to be Hungry”

Sylvester was broke and hungry. He was walking the street one day, cold and hungry and he decided to go into a library to stay warm. Laying on the table was a book about a fighter who overcame odds to win. That inspired Sylvester Stallone to go write the Rocky story. He wrote that story in one sitting. He did not stop for 20 hours! How did Sylvester “find his passion” and know that he could write a great screen play? He just knew. Maybe he dreamed it, maybe God has been giving him hints his whole life. That inspiration was the gasoline that lit the fire that God put inside him. Again he married passion with imagination and wrote a story that resonated with each and every one of us. The story of Rocky. It made him a millionaire many times over.

“When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn.”
— John Wesley

https://thelogicalindian.com/story-feed/get-inspired/inspirational-success-story-of-sylvester-stallone-rags-to-riches/

Back in the day, Stallone was a struggling actor in every definition. At some point, he got so broke that he stole his wife’s jewelry and sold it. Things got so bad that he even ended up homeless. Yes, he slept at the New York bus station for 3 days. Unable to pay rent or afford food. His lowest point came when he tried to sell his dog at the liquor store to any stranger. He didn’t have money to feed the dog anymore. He sold it at $25 only. He says he walked away crying.
Two weeks later, he read a book that gave him the inspiration to write the script for the famous movie, ROCKY.

He wrote the script for 20 hours! He tried to sell it and got an offer for $125,000 for the script. But he had just ONE REQUEST. He wanted to STAR in the movie. He wanted to be the MAIN ACTOR, Rocky himself. But the studio said NO. They wanted a REAL STAR. He wanted to start over as a movie star.
They said he “Looked funny and talked funny”. He left with his script. A few weeks later, the studio offered him $250,000 for the script. He refused. They even offered $350,000. He still refused. They wanted his movie, but NOT him. He said NO. He had to be IN THAT MOVIE.
By. Author > Abinash Mishra

How did J.K Rowling Find her Passion

J.K Rowling was a single parent, a divorcee and out of work. On a train ride from Manchester to London she got the inspiration to create the Harry Potter story. But she was already a published author. Writing her first book at 6 years old and another at 11 years old. She became an English teacher because her passion was books writing. Ms. Rowling feels that failure stirs the fire in your belly to do something about your, passion.

In 2015 J.K. Rowling’s 2008 Harvard commencement speech was published under the title ‘Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination’

How did I find my passion? One day I saw the word Life coach in the newspaper and I knew immediately that was what I was supposed to do. My, passion, is learning, building and imparting. As a Life coach, Author and Motivational speaker, I am constantly learning, building and imparting into the lives of others. I could do it all day and I could do it for free!

How to Find your Passion!

It may not be as an employee!

The best people to work for are me, myself and I.
– unknown

“There is no greater thing you can do with your life and your work than follow your passions – in a way that serves the world and you.” Richard Branson

If your passion is to build an Enterprise, then download my Free EBook

“Small Business, How to Mind your own business while working your day job”
Click here for more information

https://myhelps.us/small-business-ebook/

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

If you have no idea what your, passion, is then maybe this article from Mark Manson will shock you into finding one.
(Rated R for Language)

https://markmanson.net/passion

Excerpt How to find your Passion

The common complaint among a lot of these people is that they need to, find their passion. There are holistic ways of finding your purpose. 
I call bullshit. You already found your, passion, you’re just ignoring it. Seriously, you’re awake 16 hours a day, what the f### do you do with your time? You’re doing something, obviously. You’re talking about something. There’s some topic or activity or idea that dominates a significant amount of your free time, your conversations, your web browsing, and it dominates them without you consciously pursuing it or looking for it.

It’s right there in front of you, you’re just avoiding it. For whatever reason, you’re avoiding it. You’re telling yourself, “Oh well, yeah, I love comic books but that doesn’t count. You can’t make money with comic books.”
F### you, have you even tried?
The problem is not a lack of passion for something. The problem is productivity. The problem is perception. The problem is acceptance.
The problem is the, “Oh, well that’s just not a realistic option,” or “Mom and Dad would kill me if I tried to do that, they say I should be a doctor” or “That’s crazy, you can’t buy a BMW with the money you make doing that.”

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-transform-your-mind-76709286/

The problem isn’t, passion. It’s never, passion. It’s priorities.
And even then, who says you need to make money doing what you love? Since when does everyone feel entitled to love every f###### second of their job? Really, what is so wrong with working an OK normal job with some cool people you like, and then pursuing your passion in your free time on the side? Has the world turned upside-down or is this not suddenly a novel idea to people?

Look, here’s another slap in the face for you: every job sucks sometimes. There’s no such thing as some passionate activity that you will never get tired of, never get stressed over, never complain about. It doesn’t exist. I am living my dream job (which happened by accident, by the way. I never in a million years planned on this happening; like a kid on a playground I just went and tried it), and I still hate about 30% of it. Some days more.
Again, that’s just life.
Author: Mark Manson

 

Additional resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/self-love-secret-out-of-the-snares/

How to Find your Passion in Life

How to Find your Passion Purpose and Freedom as a Mompreneur