Category Archives: lifecoaching

blog, book, healthy relationships, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, podcast, women

Celebrating Black Love Introducing BlackdateBox

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Love, is a spirit and if you speak to love it will return back to you when you call it. Black Love, is no different; but we need to change the narrative because, Black women, deserve, love.

I think that, love, is waiting for everyone to be silent, so that, love, can speak for itself.

Today we are celebrating, black love.  My guest is Lisa Kimberle author of “500 ways to celebrate black love”

Here is the synopsis of 500 ways to celebrate, Black Love

500 ways to celebrate, black love, provides an accelerating approach to, black love, relationships. Love coach and enthusiast Lisa Kimberle gets candid through personal reflection in hope of inspiring real, black love, stories.  This is her, love story, a story filled with passion and discovery that led her to a wonderful fulfilling, black love, relationship.  This is a, black love book, and it introduces the, blackdatebox, a subscription box created with love for all relationship stages. Black love box, asks the question, what is, black love?  It celebrates, black love, and highlights black owned businesses and retailers.

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Why did you write the book “500 ways to black to celebrate, black love?”

For me it all started from my personal journey.  What I was personally going through in my, love story.  I was in a relationship and everything seemed right, we were very compatible.  It seemed like it was love at first sight, and then when we further got in the relationship, we discovered that we just were not meant to be together.  He was not a bad person or anything like that; but it was for someone else, it wasn't for me and we were both totally fine ending the relationship. It was a three year journey that I spent discovering, what is black love.

I started researching family history and I discovered things and thoughts that existed within the family passed down from my grandparents and from my parents.  One of the interesting things that I discovered about my grandmother was that for whatever reason my grandmother hated relationships.  I kind of discovered during the journey about, black love, and what to do to break your patterns,  because these patterns are cyclical and runs for generations.

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I don't know your, love story; but I know as a,  Life coach,  I know women who cycle from abusive relationships into new abusive relationships. That’s their pattern, and they keep going into those relationships. They don't look for them,  but it just happens.  So what you're saying is exactly what happens, we all attract the same kind of man and it's something unconsciously that we're doing.  You traced your pattern and you found that it came from parental influence.

The second thing I discovered when I began researching, black love,  is that the internet portrayed, black love relationships, as nonexistent. I bumped into articles such as the one in Marie Claire magazine titled “Marriages are for white people”  and then when I read the article it goes further on to explain how, marriage, isn't for, black women!

So now I am dealing with the generational belief passed down from my parents and grandparents, then it’s the societal belief that, black women, does not deserve, love.

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Is, Black Love, different than White Love?

No, Love, is a spirit and it does not define color. But as, black women, we have some challenges to find fulfilling black, love story. After my 3 year relationship went  sour, I really wanted to help, black women, find that perfect, love story. Since I couldn’t find any, black love books, I decided to write one.

I believe that, love, is a spirit and if you speak to, love, it will return back to you when you call it.

I think that, love, is waiting for everyone to be silent, so that love can speak for itself.

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What are 3 of the 500 ways to celebrate. Black love?

  • Wholeness before pleasure.
  • Becoming best version of ourselves. That’s discovering who you are.
  • Becoming the best version of us as a black race.

In a Unhealthy Relationship? Should you Stay or Go.

What is Quantum Water Leaping and how does this celebrate, Black Love?

Black Couples, Quantum Water Leaping is utilizing water as a representation of life. I believe that water is life and so if it's used as a representation to cleanse out the old, love story, whatever that is,  whether it's past relationships, marriages, things that you haven't forgiven yourself for concerning past relationships or anything thing that can hinder your, black love relationship. Black couples, are using that water and jumping into like a new, love story. It’s a quantum leap.

Black Couples, Quantum Jumping is all about strengthening, black love relationships, because it is very true that relationships breakup because we're carrying baggage. Leaping from one to the next is a perfect way to drop off your baggage!

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How does the, Blackdatebox, Help, Black Love Relationships?

The, blackdatebox,  or, black love box, is a quarterly subscription, love box,  that was created to celebrate, black love. We celebrate, black love, depending on the season such as Christmas and other holidays or occasions that, black couples, wants to celebrate.  For example there is a quarantine, love box.

It has most of what you need to create a date at home and while you're on the stay at home experience, you will kindle a deeper level of communication, a deeper level of, love.

The, black love Box, comes with the rose petals and the candles and whatever you need to create a romantic date.

We are coming into summer so the summer celebration, blackdatebox, 2020 has fireworks inside the box.  There's two different boxes for the summer celebration because some, black  couples, may want to have a daytime date, so I have a brunch box.  I work with a chef she lives in Alabama her name is Erika Barrett she makes these excellent pancakes, so she's one of the African American business that are featured in the box. The, blackdatebox,  comes with decorations for the ambiance and  all the, black couples, have to do is add the feelings of, love!

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I also have a product that is amazing.  It's a game with miracle berries and they're actually from Ghana and some people have taste tripping parties.

You take these berries and they're intact in form and then they dissolve on your tongue.  You have to let it dissolve for about 10 minutes, once it dissolves and you suck a lemon or a lime it is going to turn everything that you're tasting, sweet.  It's an amazing experience.

When somebody goes out and purchases your book, what do you hope that they will come away with?

I'm hoping that my readers get inspired and more empowered.  I'm hoping that it will inspire them to their own self journey to finding, black love,  and discoveries of their family history that could be blocking, black love. I want to change the narrative of, black love, and society.  I want my book to be a form of mental jogging.

How do you advise women to set their intention for, black love?

Whenever you have good intentions for being in a relationship then you will manifest those intentions. One way to set intentions is with daily affirmations. Some of these affirmations are:

  • I am loved
  • I am black and lovable
  • I am black excellence

If your intentions are that you want, love, because of loneliness,  change your intentions. Your purpose for wanting a relationship must be because you have something to give, not want. If you set your intentions in a good way then you'll receive good results. Call, love, and it will come!

I pray that everyone every listener, every reader of my book that this will be the best year of, Black love, or any other love for them. I just want to pray that, Love, Finds them from the north, the South, the east and the West.  I just want to pray that they receive total healing.

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/find-your-soulmate-science-of-attraction/

https://myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/

 

blog, finding purpose, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Love and Religion, natural talent, purpose

Your Talent is Already in your Hand

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Use, what's in your hand, God pre-loaded you with the, talent, you need to be successful in life.  You were created with a purpose; God gave you the skills and, talent, you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.

What's in your Hand?

Moses was just like most of us. We don't believe that we have, talent, or that we were born with anything God can use to build his kingdom. But God interrupted this lie. Moses was hitting 80 years old, he was ready to retire. You know, settle down with the grand kids and rock on his front porch.

But there’s a bush that is burning and Moses’ life was about to get flipped upside down. God called to Moses from the burning bush and asked Moses to go to the Pharaoh and tell him to let my people go.

Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you’?” Then the Lord said to him, “What's in your hand,?” “A staff,” he replied. The Lord said, “Throw it on the ground.” Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it.” [Ex. 4:1-3]

In Exodus chapter 3 , Moses had many doubts and many fears. He came up with tons of excuses. But God asked Moses, what's in his hand.

We know Moses had a shepherd’s staff in his hand, a dead thing. But then he laid it down and it became a snake. A dead thing became a living thing, and a dangerous thing at that. So dangerous in fact that Moses actually runs from it! God says to pick it again and it becomes a dead thing again.

Before we discover what God has created us for, we must be willing to lay down our income, lay down our status, lay down our perfection, lay down our finances, Don't eat your seed; lay down our children, lay down our relationships, lay down our self-pursuits to discover our God given, talent. 

Just like God told Moses, I believe God is telling people today to lay it down. Will you not lay down your identity? Many of us are defined by our job, our education, our financial status, or marital status. But Galatians 2:19 reminds us that, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” Yes, it’s no longer about me, but rather Christ who lives in me. God is saying, Let me be the one to give you identity and a meaningful life.

Stop asking when you are going to get your gifts or, talent, or calling and see, what’s in your hand.

But there’s a bush that is burning and Moses’ life is about to get flipped upside down.

Before we find our passion and calling, we must be willing to lay down our influence and recognition.

The recognition of man pales in comparison to what God has called us to. God is asking if you’re willing to lay down our dead things so he can make them come to life. Many people are living lives that are dead; it feels comfortable and safe and controllable.

But when God gives us a vision for our life like He did with Moses, we’re able to see the power God has for us, the purpose he promises us, and the plan he wants for us. It might scare us. Some might even want to run away from because it’s terrifying and they won’t know how to handle the amazing things God has for them.

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What’s In Your Hand: Using Your God-given, Talent

Perhaps you’ve said “I want God to use me!” I know many believers who feel that way. Perhaps your daily life now seems quite monotonous and unimportant, and you wish that light-bulb moment would happen when you know you’re making a significant and lasting difference for His kingdom. You see others in the spotlight who God seems to be using in a big way, and you try hard to not allow envy to grow in your heart. Will you ever be able to use your God-given, talent, to their full potential?

Whenever a lasting desire shows up in the human heart I believe it’s evidence of the way in which God made us. Those desires often become distorted or are directed in unhealthy directions, but the desire is from God. Your desire to make a difference is proof that God made you for a reason, both for this life and for eternity. You and I will never feel completely satisfied until we fulfill the purpose for which He created us.

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But we’re not born with everything we need to fill the role for which God made us. The seeds are there, but in order to fill a role that’s big enough to qualify as God-sized, you and I need to grow up in all kinds of ways. And the way to get there is to begin using what’s in our hands right now.

In the Bible, Moses had spent forty years being educated in Pharaoh’s court, and another forty years on the back-side of the desert herding sheep. When God appeared to Him in the burning bush Moses felt ignored, beaten down, old, and anything but ready for some significant role in God’s plan. But God would hear none of His excuses.

When Moses complained that the leaders of Israel would not believe his incredible story of hearing directly from God, God asked him, “What’s in your hand,?” All Moses had was a shepherd’s staff, and God immediately demonstrated His miraculous power using that staff. (Exodus 4:1-5) It was with that very staff that God through Moses would later part the Red Sea, bring water out of a rock, and bring the Israelites victory over their foes in battle.

You have something in your hand right now as well. It may seem no more impressive than a shepherd’s staff, but it may be just the, talent, God needs to use in accomplishing His purpose.

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

Burning Bush, God appears to Moses 

Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, podcast, purpose, transform your mind

How to Use the Law of Action for Success in Life

On Today's episode “5 Minutes with Coach Myrna”, I teach How to Use the Universal, Law of Action, to achieve Success in Life

In the first episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I shared the First Universal Law “The Law of Divine Oneness” If you missed that episode please download. I am teaching on the, 12 Universal Laws, because they are the blue print for a life by design. They are the rules of the game.

The 12 Universal Laws

Law of Divine Oneness,

Law of Vibration,

Law of Action,

Law of Correspondence,

Law of Cause and Effect,

Law of Attraction,

Law of Compensation,

Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy,

Law of Relativity,

Law of Polarity,

Law of Gender,

and the Law of Rhythm

Successful people and the Law of Action

Life is the only job that we don’t get a manual for and most of us leave this body as clueless as when we were born.

Today I want to teach on the:

The second Universal Law the, Law of Action,

Successful people are future oriented so if you are not taking action towards a vision or goal, you will remain stagnant.

Movement creates energy.

Newton First Law states – A body in motion stays in motion. If you, take action, towards your goals you will attain them. If you take, MASSIVE action, towards your goals you will attain them much much faster.

1. Because we are spiritual beings having a human experience, your higher self, which is your source, GOD, gives you guidance in the form of thought or dreams. When you act on that guidance it opens the communication for more guidance. Acting on the guidance you get from your higher self will propel you in the direction of your purpose.

One way to gauge if you are moving in the direction of your purpose is your emotions. If you feel excited and happy to do the action then you are aligned. If you don't feel good then it is not aligned to your goals or purpose and it is not from your spiritual guide. It is said that we have five voices in our head. You have to be able figure out who is speaking to you when you get direction.

The law of action: You have to do something

If you don't know what action to take.
Ask yourself, What does successful people do?
Ask yourself again, What do I have to become to do something I have not done before? Taking action usually means stretching yourself to do something you have not done before. The, Law of Action, means taking action in the direction of your goals.

Playing to your strengths will not stretch you.

You have to go beyond your comfort zone and stretch yourself like a rubber band!

Would you like to know what a Life Coach does? A Life Coach prepares you your main goal in life by getting you to your purpose and then holding you accountable to make it happen.

Strengths can be categorized in two columns. The first column are the ones you are born with and the other, the ones you cultivated.

For example Warren Buffet tells the story that he was deathly afraid of public speaking, but he was born with the ability to do math. At a very young age he had the ability to take apart financial statements and understand the true value of a company; but he had zero ability as a speaker. So that was the strength he cultivated. He took action, he joined Toastmasters. The, Law of Action, at work.

Tony Robbins teaches that not only should take action; but you should take, MASSIVE action.

Most coaches will tell their clients, if you have a goal take some action towards that goal. If you want a Mercedes Benz then order a brochure or go test drive it. If you want to enroll in higher education, then go visit the campus and get information; but, MASSIVE action, is totally different. MASSIVE action, is quitting your job and starting your own business. MASSIVE action is Ed Sheeran getting on a plane and coming to America looking for a record deal, with no money in his pocket and sleeping on the subway until he found work! The, Law of Action, worked again, Ed became the biggest male pop-star on the planet!

Conclusion

Conclusion, take action, take, massive action, let the, Law of Action, propel you towards your goals.

Contact me for a FREE Downloadable copy my new e-book “How to Shift Your Mindset to Achieve Your Goals”

Thank you for tuning into 5 mins with coach Myrna, the, Law of Action, In our next episode we will look at the third law of the Universe “The Law of Correspondence”

Please remember to share this episode with your friends and subscribe and post a review.
Until next time Namaste

Other Resources:
https://myhelps.us/program-positive-change/
https://myhelps.us/myrna-young-life-coach/
https://www.infinitesoulblueprint.com/law-of-action/

Aging, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, lifecoaching, mental health counseling, personal development podcast, podcast

Homecare Best Dementia Care For Patients

If you have dementia then there are certain, dementia care, needs when, dementia, presents itself because it goes until death. Let's say that my mom or someone I'm responsible for starts exhibiting, symptoms of dementia.  How do I decide on whether to put them in a, nursing home, or to get, home care?

Listen to the full podcast interview here:

 

My guest today is MERRILY ORSINI, Pres/CEO of Corecubed, is considered a thought leader in the healthcare at home industry and is involved in numerous organizations, providing insight and advice. Merrily is a leader in the Help Choose Home initiative, podcast creator and host. She focuses on educating how and when to choose healthcare at home. Orsini won a Lifetime Achievement in Business Award at the 2017 Stevie Awards for Women in Business. Orsini’s business ownership began with a geriatric care managed in-home care agency, a venture that garnered her the prestigious Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award in 1996

Myrna – Tell us your journey into your first geriatric care managed in home care agency.  Was it because you had a, dementia, parent who needed help?

Introduction to Home Care

Merrily – I sort of fell into it.  I have a master's in social work and an interest in helping people. I was in a personal situation where I needed to make more money.  So, I decided to become an entrepreneur and start my own Business.  Soon after I opened the doors of that business, I got a request from a friend of mine to provide what at that time we called a babysitting service for one of her clients whose wife had senile, dementia.

That began was a lifelong commitment for me to provide care for anyone who is suffering from, Alzheimer's.  We progressed with my first patient  from her early stages of, Alzheimer's dementia, through end stage.

We ended up caring for lots of other people with lots of other issues but the issue of, dementia, is probably the most frightening and the hardest care. I stayed in the, home care, space directly providing, nursing care, services from 1981 to 1998.

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Myrna – I don't have any personal experience with this, in my family but there's a lot of movies out there that address the subject of, Alzheimer’s disease. The most famous is the movie the Notebook.

When I started, menopause, I personally started forgetting things and I was very afraid of that it was the start of, Alzheimer’s disease. But I was reassured by my doctor that if there is no history of, dementia, in my family then there is a good chance that I would not get, Alzheimer’s disease.

 

 Dementia Care for patients?

Merrily – my business provides support to the industry.  I'm not in the direct provision of, home care, anymore.  The thing about, dementia, is that it's not a one-size-fits-all disease. It also manifests itself differently in different people.  Some people become very calm, quiet and reserved and other people become aggressive.

The disease progresses at different times,  it is a debilitating disease if you have an, Alzheimer’s,  type, dementia, or some of the other kinds of, dementia, it's debilitating and it gets worse.

For instance you mentioned, menopause, there are several things that do cause something that looks like, dementia.  For instance, medication mismanagement.  I had a client one time who was severely malnourished, and that malnourishment actually translated itself into, dementia.

The question of, dementia care, it is again it's not a one-size-fits-all because someone who has a, dementia, needs a totally different kind of care than someone who has a frailty or a disease. It's two totally different kinds of care and it's also takes different kinds of caregivers.

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Why Home Care is the best  Dementia Care for Patients.

There's different ways that you actually can talk to someone or be around someone with, Alzheimer’s, and there's a handful of generic kinds of rules for, dementia care; but the biggest one is this. It is hard for families is when someone starts forgetting and they actually have, dementia.

That's irreversible and it's going to get worse. the worst thing you can do is try to orient them to right now, because they're not there.  They're not mentally in the present and it's very scary for someone with the, dementia, to think that they're somewhere else and then have someone try to orient them today.

It’s like waking up in a dream and you know you you're dreaming you're someplace and if someone said you're not there it would be scary. The, dementia, patient  turns against them, because they quit trusting them.

They quit trusting them because the person is trying to orient them back to reality.

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Dementia Test

The mini mental status test is about five questions:

  • It starts off with “what day is today”
  • Who's the president of the United States
  • Ask them to make you a cup of tea because that requires is sequential steps.
  • Can they still dress themselves or take care of themselves. Oftentimes not because they don't remember.  Sometimes people with, dementia, take all their clothes off and run out into the yard.

So many of the normal activities of daily living processes that you that you would not lose unless you had, dementia.

 

Ways to prevent Alzheimer’s type dementia

If you have a healthy lifestyle and by that I mean eating well, exercising and getting plenty of sleep. All of those things can help you prevent that onset of, dementia, but if you actually have an, Alzheimer’s,  type, dementia, no matter what you do it is going to eventually come.

Keeping your mind active is the other way to prevent the onset of, dementia. We're creatures of habit so if you brush your teeth with your right hand, try brushing your teeth with your left hand.  Simple things like that.

Learning a foreign language that's one of the most amazing things you can do because it uses parts of your brain that you don't normally use.

So if you've done crossword puzzles your whole life and you think by continuing to do crossword puzzles you're going to somehow keep dementia at bay, that's not true.  You need to do something different like learn how to dance.  Do something that involves your body and your mind, that is different than anything that you've ever done before.

 

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Is  Alzheimer’s dementia different from just dementia?

You characterize, Alzheimer’s dementia, from just, dementia, can you give us what the difference is?

Merrily – There are all different kinds of, dementia.  Alzheimer's, is what we most hear about; but it is a specific disease that has some specific characteristics.

 

There are other types of, dementia.

  • Lewy Body dementia which is what Robin Williams had
  • There’s frontal-temporal dementia.
  • Alcohol related dementia that comes from overusing alcohol
  • Vascular Dementia
  • Mixed dementia and that is a combination of Alzheimer’s dementia and Vascular dementia.

 

Home Care for Dementia patients

If you have, dementia, then there are certain, nursing care, needs when, dementia, presents itself because it goes until death.

Let's say that my mom or someone I'm responsible for starts exhibiting symptoms of, dementia.  How do I decide on whether to put them in a nursing home or to get, home care?

There is no universal long-term care program for people in America, we have an overly complicated, home care, system.  Some of it funded by the government and some of it paid for privately, so it really depends on what your financial resources are and what your support system is.

Right now very few people want to go into a congregant, nursing home, setting because of the exposure. You look at the deaths in America where 40 percent or more happen in congregate, nursing home, care settings from COVID 19.

So, if you have a loved one with, dementia, the first thing to do is go somewhere where you can get a real good screening.  I would recommend a geriatric evaluation and treatment program through a teaching university.

The next step after they say you do have a progressive disease, is to really look at time frame, because a lot of people can stay at home with just a little bit of care as long as there, dementia, is not progressed to the point where they are endangering themselves.

Staying at home is probably the best place because people who have, dementia, like familiar surroundings and they also like a routine.

But the question between, home care, or, nursing home, really comes down to cost and support.

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Tell us about your podcast Help Choose Home.

The reason I started the Help Choose home podcast, is that what I have found is people don't actually look for any of these answers or even information until they have a need. Someone has a care need for a family member and then they start researching. So the Help Choose home podcast, is really just about educating people about how to choose, nursing homes, or, home care.

How can those listening and watching on YouTube connect with you?

The national association for home care and hospice which is one of the sponsors of my podcast has very good resources and you mentioned AARP.  AARP has excellent resources as well The home care association of America and the National Palliative Hospice and Palliative care organization.

 

My own website is www.merrilyorsini.com My business is corecubed.com

 

I'm inviting you to join my Facebook group called life coach and please subscribe to the podcast on our YouTube channel and where ever you get your podcasts.

 

Additional Resources

5 mins with coach Myrna, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, lifecoaching, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

Golden Buddha: Unveiling Your Inner Radiance

We are all like the, golden buddha, underneath, we cover up our, inner greatness, with the, mud, of, self-doubt, feelings of, not being good enough, insecurity and other, negative emotions.

In this episode of 5 mins with Coach Myrna, I want to teach on the subject 3 ways to let your, inner greatness, shine through. I want to use the story of the, Golden Buddha, as my foundational story.

Download the podcast here:

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The Golden Buddha

Story of the Golden Buddha that was covered up in mud by the monks so that the gold couldn’t shine through.

In Bangkok there is a golden statue of the Buddha that stands 9’8” tall, weighs 5.5 tons and is worth approximately 250 million in gold.

The statue was thought to be built in 1,403 and was revered by Buddhist for many hundreds of years. In 1,757 the Burmese Army was invading Thailand. Facing complete annihilation, the Buddhist monks at the monastery hastily began covering their, Golden Buddha, with plaster, which was painted and inlaid with bits of colored glass, to make it look of little or no value to the invading army. During the invasion all the Buddhist monks were tragically murdered, but the, Golden Buddha, was left undiscovered.

In 1957 an entire Monastery in Thailand was being relocated by a group of monks. One day they were moving a giant clay Buddha when one of the monks noticed a large crack in the clay. On closer investigation he saw there was a golden light emanating from the crack. The monk used a hammer and a chisel to chip away at the clay exterior until he revealed that the statue was in fact made of solid gold.

Don't cover up your inner greatness with mud

This story illustrates the point that we can cover up our value by layering it with, mud, as well. So let me ask you.  What is your, mud?

What life experiences added layers of, mud, and covered up your value to the world?

We are all, golden buddhas, underneath, but we cover up our, inner greatness, with the, mud of self-doubt, feelings of not being good enough, insecurity and other, negative emotions.

Here are 3 ways to chip away at your mud let your inner greatness shine through:

  1. Identify your mud. Is it self-doubt? Lack of self-worth? Body image, not being good enough? You can’t change what you don’t identify and until you dig through the layers of mud you can’t shine and become what you were created to do.

Meaning, our delusionary self-creation process starts early in our childhood.

Often, we had to be unnaturally attuned to the demands of our parents, sensing we had to comply in order to be loved and tolerated; we had to be false before we had the chance to feel properly alive.

And this continues in our educational systems and careers.

Most of the time, we are putting on a mask, complying with our teachers, our bosses, our colleagues, our partners, our friends…

2. Speak to the mud on your Golden Buddha

if your, mud, is feelings of not being good enough for example then speak to those feelings and tell them that you are good enough, you were created for this purpose. If your, mud, is body image tell it that you are wonderfully made and beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and you are perfect just the way you are.

“Every problem is a gift – without problems we would not grow.” Believing that problems are opportunities to grow, rather than insurmountable obstacles, is called a, growth mindset, and it’s essential if you want to learn how to stop being insecure. Instead of feeling like a failure just because we have, insecurities, we gain the freedom to view those, insecurities, as a source of information for our personal and professional growth.

Instead of avoiding our, insecurities, we learn to speak to them. Most,  insecurities, are not based on facts, so you can speak to them and challenge them.  As you commit yourself to putting aside your fears and utilizing your insecurity as a source of valuable information, you eliminate the “what ifs” associated with avoidance and open the door to opportunity.

3. Take action to remove the mud:

  • Our daily behaviors reflect our deepest beliefs.
  • Clean up your language and speak life into your situation.
  • Take massive action to change your beliefs.
  • Train your mind with new beliefs and affirmations.

Realize that you were conditioned to believe that you can’t do something.  Think of the elephant that is controlled by a sodden stick in the ground.

Figure out, When did you decide to accept this limitation.

Resources in the mind are unlimited, use the fuel of your thoughts to find the resources to do something great and uncover your, Golden Buddha, your, inner greatness, and let your value shin through.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with Coach Myrna. I want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach to be inspired throughout the week. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

https://myhelps.us/have-positive-mindset-get-rid-ants/

Advocacy, blog, Leadership, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, podcast

The Seven Elements of Effective Advocacy

Can Advocacy build successful bridges? It sure can. My guest today shares Steps to Effective Advocacy and the seven elements of, Advocacy.
Latisha Atkins is the founder of Building Bridges to Success, Inc.

 

1. What is Advocacy?: What it is and why it is important?

Advocacy, is defined as any action that speaks in favor of, recommends, argues for a cause, supports or
defends, or pleads on behalf of others. This fact sheet offers a look at how, advocacy, is defined, what kinds of
activities comprise, advocacy, work, and what kinds of, advocacy, projects several tax-exempt groups are
currently leading

2. What are some of the ways people can get involved locally and nationally with Advocacy.

Educate. Inform your organization about the current policies and problems affecting your community.
Evaluate. Evaluate your organization’s mission and goals, and examine whether current programs involve
advocacy as a means to address problems or grievances in the community.

If not, how could advocacy play a
larger role in your organization’s programs?
Collaborate. Work in coalitions with groups whose philosophy and goals resonate with yours. Together,
pooling staff and resources, all parties involved in the coalition should be better equipped to take on campaigns
and work for change.

Educate yourself about the possibilities

A good place to begin any effective inquiry is to educate yourself about the options you have. First, ask yourself what it is that you need. For instance, if you need funds for a prosthetic limb, begin by calling a prosthetist and finding out about costs. Next, find out what your insurance will cover.

Many insurance companies will only partially fund prosthetic limbs, and you may have to contact additional organizations to compensate for what your insurance company will not pay. If you do not have insurance, you will have to contact government agencies like Medicare or the Department of Human Services, Vocational Rehabilitation, or Assistive Technology to find out about funding.  Private organizations that sometimes fund prosthetic limbs. Once you develop a strategy, keep a diary.

Collect every phone call and every letter in a daily log that you can refer to. Documentation is crucial when it comes to building a case for yourself.

2. Get support

Never underestimate the power of support. Nothing changes your body as completely and permanently as limb loss. If you have just undergone a complete lifestyle transformation, you may not be in any condition to put up a struggle. Therefore, it is in your best interest to recruit and elicit help from the people surrounding you. More often than not, someone in your community, be they family, peer, or church member, will provide you with some sort of assistance.

If someone offers you assistance, take their help. You are going to need it. Work with local amputee education groups across the country to train volunteers for peer contact and provides start up information for support groups in every state. Someone nearby may be facing many of the same obstacles you are. Ask them how they did it.

3. Be persistent and patient

If you are repeatedly rebuffed, do not give up. Someone will help you. You just have to find the right door to knock on. If all else fails you can contact your local congressman.  We has two other fact sheets entitled, “How Do I Get Help from My Congressional Representatives?” and “The Do’s and Don’ts of a Legislative Visit.” These fact sheets can be helpful. Sometimes the only way to change the rules is to approach the legislative bodies that make them.

Through persistence and patience, you can change things, even if that change is gradual. At least you can rest by knowing that you have exhausted every resource. Remember though, the only person you have any control over is yourself. Reserve anger for the times when you really need it. Anger can be an effective tool but getting angry tends to shut doors rather than open them.

You can be your own best, advocate. Educating yourself, and thereby empowering yourself, will help you to attain the goals needed to live a happy, productive life. Once organized, you will find the right path.

What are some elements of advocacy?

  • The Seven Elements of an Effective Advocacy Network. …
  • Social Ties. …
  • Communications Grid. …
  • Common Language. …
  • Shared Resources. …
  • Vision. …
  • Actors. …
  • Feedback.

8. Is there a difference between, advocacy, and lobbying?

Advocacy, is what you are already doing; lobbying is a narrowly defined activity with a few easy-to-follow limits.

Check out more on, Advocacy, and How it can build bridges to success @ Bridges2yoursuccess.com

As America and the world fight for gun control. Advocacy, will be the tool used to change those laws.
Here is an article about Advocacy Groups Call For Firearm Rights In Britain Following Several Terror Attacks

FOLLOWING NUMEROUS DEADLY TERROR ATTACKS THIS YEAR, PRO-GUN GROUPS IN BRITAIN ARE INCREASINGLY CALLING FOR CITIZENS TO RECEIVE THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS.
An initiative called Carry Now is growing in England and demanding that the government “allow law-abiding, reliable and trained citizens to carry CCW for self-defence in Europe.”

The initiative is backed by Firearms United, a group in Europe advocating for similar pro-gun initiatives all across the continent.

“These tragedies may have been the eye opener to just how ineffective our laws are,” Firearms-UK representative Dave Ewing reportedly told Voactive following last Saturday’s terror attack in London.

Common Cause is an organization in Washington, DC that is leading the, Advocacy, charge to modernize elections, making them more fair, secure, and accessible with automatic voter registration laws and same-day registration at polling places on Election Day. We are ensuring security and fairness at the ballot box by demanding paper back-ups and post-election risk-limiting audits to detect foul play early.

Please subscribe to this podcast and leave a review if you find this content helpful.
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Additional resources

https://myhelps.us/how-find-your-passion-your-burning-bush/

 

addiction and recovery, blog, child abuse, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, mental health counseling, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, podcast, sexual abuse and addiction, youth with trauma

How to Manage Compulsive Behaviors

Millions of people suffer from at least one of the, compulsive behaviors, Compulsive shopping, Compulsive eating, Hoarding, Compulsive sexual behavior.

—often, even when the individual wishes they could stop—despite the fact that the act triggers negative outcomes, leads to interpersonal conflicts, or damages mental health.

Listen to full interview here: 

Introduction to Compulsive Behaviors

Common activities that can develop into compulsions include, compulsive  shopping, hoarding, eating, gambling, sex, and exercise. Though some behaviors are easier to over-indulge in than others, in reality, nearly any behavior has the potential of becoming a, compulsive behavior. Some people even talk compulsively, for instance.

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There are also obsessive compulsive disorder, in which a compulsive person performs certain behaviors to relieve underlying anxiety or other negative emotions. A well-known example is a person who checks and rechecks everything—if the stove is turned off, for instance, or if the door is locked.

These behaviors rarely decrease anxiety in the long run; in most cases, they only provide temporary relief. In extreme cases, compulsive behaviors start to take over the person's work, home, and social life, at the expense of normal activities.

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How are Compulsive Behaviors and addictions connected?

Compulsive behaviors, have a genetic effect and are often seen in identical twins. I know 17 year old identical twin girls who came into the foster care system at 4 years old and have had trauma. I attributed their, compulsive behaviors, to genes from their biological parents and environment from their early years in foster care. They started, compulsive behaviors, like stealing  from about 5 years old, as they grew older that transformed into, compulsive shoplifting, then they started running away and couldn't stop, now they are compulsively, hoarding.

Compulsion behaviors,  often arise after stressful events, trauma, or abuse as we have seen in our study of addictions. When people engage in, compulsive behaviors, they become trapped in a pattern of repetitive actions or senseless thinking from which it can be difficult to break free.

Treatment is often key for overcoming, compulsive behaviors.

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How does normal behavior turn into,  Compulsive Behaviors?

As far as the brain is concerned our rewards are reward important,  so regardless of whether it comes from a chemical or an experience and you know that there's a
reward and people who indulge in , compulsive behaviors,  like gambling,  eating,  sex, and shopping,  become trapped in the reward system of dopamine.

Types of Compulsive Behaviors

Compulsive behaviors, come in many forms, all of which can be quite debilitating or even dangerous.

Hoarding, for instance, are those who are unable to part with even the most worthless possessions. Many hoarders find the act of purging so distressful that they live under extremely crowded and potentially harmful conditions.

  • Compulsive shopping,
  • Compulsive eating
  • Over exercising
  • Hoarding
  • Compulsive cleaning

Compulsive Hoarding,   is a psychiatric disorder which involves the accumulation of personal possessions to the point at which these accumulations interfere with your quality of life to a significant degree. The acquisition of “things” and failure to throw away unneeded objects can result in only mild symptoms of a cluttered home to a home which is too unsanitary for healthy living. At the current time, it's thought that between two and six percent of the population is living with some degree of hoarding disorder.

  • Compulsively taking selfies and posting on social media
  • Compulsive sexual behavior or sexual addiction

What negative triggers enable Compulsive Behaviors like Hoarding.

The brain tricks us into thinking that we need the reward so we perform the, compulsive behavior, to re up the Dopamine
I know that as humans we move towards pleasure and away from pain. In my role as parent with kids who have, compulsive behaviors. These behaviors are cemented because they engage the reward centers of the brain.

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How does one break that reward system for, Compulsive Behaviors?

Don’t wait until sexual temptation attacks you before you see it as a formidable force which seeks to destroy you. Its insidious tactic is designed to enslave you into sexual sins and keep you locked into erotic desires. How you perceive sexual temptation in your life, determines how well you will overcome its deceitful force, and walk in total victory.

“Naked and Ashamed, the Battle of Sexual Temptation.” is a Christian self-help book that explains what sexual temptation is, and gives you Biblical scriptures on how to control your sexual desires, and unnatural urges.  With chapters such as recognizing the tempter, and rejecting the flesh, you will study strategies on how to recognize situations that tempts you, and learn how to keep your flesh under subjection. Although we will all be tempted sexually at some time, we can learn from this book on how to refrain from overreacting and falling into sexual bondage. So put on your seatbelt and get ready to be free from all of your unwanted sexual desires and temptations.  Order “Naked and Ashamed, The Battle of Sexual Temptation” today! Written by Sheela Fields, now available on Amazon.

Sex Addiction Treatment

Let’s look at, compulsive sexual behavior, or sexual addiction. Sexual addiction, is represented by, compulsive behavior,  in commonly available sexual practices, such as

  • Attending strip clubs,
  • Compulsive masturbation,
  • Paying for sex through prostitution,
  • Excessive use of pornography,
  • and repeated engagement in extramarital affairs.

Compulsive sexual behavior, otherwise known as sexual addiction, is an emerging psychiatric disorder that has significant medical and psychiatric consequences. Until recently, very little empirical data existed to explain the biological, psychological, and social risk factors that contribute to this condition. In addition, clinical issues, such as the natural course and best practices on treating sexual addictions, have not been formalized. Despite this absence, the number of patients and communities requesting assistance with this problem remains significant. This article will review the clinical features of compulsive sexual behavior and will summarize the current evidence for psychological and pharmacological treatment.

Dr Ahia What forms of, Sex Addiction Treatment, would you administer to someone suffering from, compulsive sexual addiction?

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How would you treat a youth that had the compulsion for taking selfies or even shoplifting?

Additional Resources for, Compulsive Behaviors

https://myhelps.us/childhood-sexual-trauma-and-addiction/

https://myhelps.us/drug-alcohol-treatments-women-with-trauma/

https://myhelps.us/call-me-an-addict-child-abuse-statistics-p3/

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childabuseandneglect/acestudy/index.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

blog, blog|health|How to loose weight|Life Coaching|lifecoaching|Personal Development|Podcast|women, health, How to loose weight, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Personal Development, podcast, women

The Crucial Role of an Active Lifestyle Against COVID-19

Wildly Alive coach Nichole Wurth shares how having an, active lifestyle, could help you fight, coronavirus COVID 19, and become BFF's with your body.

Journey to an Active lifestyle.

I was raised on Hamburger Helper and mac and cheese.  I didn’t know the basics of nourishing your body or a healthy lifestyle.  That  was not something that was taught to me, so I got out of high school and I gained some weight.  I did what most women do.  I started dieting. I wouldn't say that I had a big-time body image issues or self-esteem issues going into that whole experience; but after every diet  I started to realize it took out a chunk of my self-esteem.

So after years of dieting if you would have looked at my body you would have thought damn she's got it going on she's so fit she's so healthy. I want her body, I want her, active lifestyle.   But in all reality even though I looked like I was living a, healthy lifestyle,  I was an absolute mess inside.

I had disordered eating and disordered exercising and I was so lost in trying to have a, active lifestyle, I didn’t even see it I was I was obsessed with what I was going to eat and what I couldn't eat. I was strategizing with every bite.  It was strategy all the time.  I was still deeply unhappy because before living this, healthy lifestyle,  I blamed all my unhappiness and the reason why I don't have a boyfriend, the reason why I don't have a fulfilling job, or the reason why I don't have …fill in the blank, was because of my body.

 

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A Healthy Lifestyle begins with Diet

It's very common for women to blame everything on their body,  so now that I had lost the weight and I look fit and healthy and living a, healthy lifestyle, I no longer had anything to blame for my unhappiness.  So again even though you would look at me and you think wow she's an inspiration,  honestly I was lost from disordered eating and disordered exercising.  Most people they don't even see it, and they're broken.  That's how diet culture works.  Diet culture intentionally breaks you, breaks your trust with yourself, so then you need a diet all the time.

That's how I was for years.  I didn't trust myself without the guidelines, without the rules and other restrictions.  I went through that whole journey. I lost the weight and I was worse than I was before I started that journey.

I start moving into like exploring okay how can I find happiness and freedom and a, healthy lifestyle, at the same time because dieting does not get you happiness and freedom.  It feels very caged.  That's the philosophy of the wildly alive coaching program. I started coming up with this idea that your body is a living, breathing, feeling thing just like a plant.  So if I went into my office every day and looked at my plants and said to them, you're ugly and you're not good enough and you need to try harder.  I would have sent negative energy to them right they would rebel and not thrive.

The Ketogenic Diet is good for a healthy lifestyle

I think that's where most women are.  They look at their body as just this thing that's hanging on them, that's never right and will never be right, and they're constantly abusing it.  If you want to call it abuse or not, it really is, because you probably would never talk to your best friend that way or even your enemy.  That is when I started really looking into instead of creating change from a place of shame, which diet culture teaches, if you just hate your body enough then you can change it shifting that to respect base change.  learning how to respect our body as we are changing and reshaping it. The Ketogenic Diet is the new popular diet plan.

Food plays a very important part in our body image and women in particular, maybe even men. Men drink, women eat! I'm not sure, but a lot of times if you have emotional problems it shows up in what you eat.  And yeah when you go to the gym, and you have a really nice body, that's on the outside. You could still feel shame inside.

A lot of women could identify with, you’re overweight and you buckled down and lost the weight, they are now living a, healthy lifestyle, they go to the gym every day, they eat right and embrace,  healthy living,  so where is the reward. Where is the boyfriend or husband?

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What is an Active Lifestyle?

I gained all  kinds of weight at the end of high school because I was in the industry and I was eating a lot of jalapeno, mayonnaise and French fries. It was like my favorite combination with  Big Mac.  The whole the whole world globally, we're looking at the, coronavirus, and at, COVID-19, and everybody including all the health experts are now on talking about a, healthy lifestyle,  because what we're all now acutely aware that if you have a healthy immune system then you can probably get over this, coronavirus, illness. My, active  lifestyle, programs started  before people became conscious of, healthy living.   A, healthy lifestyle, is  being wildly alive!

 I wanted to create something like a like a bridge between the, covid-19, pandemic and, healthy living.  I'm telling my clients right now is first and foremost and this is the basis of wildly alive coaching,  is your mind is the most powerful muscle in your body and so just like with dieting.

And the constant feeling of stress, you have to change from the inside.

 

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When I was dieting, I was constantly stressed, I was afraid of butter.  I was afraid of red meat and so on and so on. Even though according to my little calorie counting notebook, I was eating

all of the right things; because I was so stressed over the food, that I was unhealthy. Stressing about everything you put into your mouth is not a, healthy lifestyle.

What is the Feminine approach to a Healthy Lifestyle

This is a respect based approach to, healthy living. If I can help show you how awesome your body is, and how it's doing so many things right now, in this moment, then what will start to happen is, you'll start to recognize that your body is always talking to you.  She's always speaking to you.  She can guide you on the best things to eat and the best ways to move and how to thrive in this whole self-care thing.  You don't need a plan, you don't need somebody telling you what to eat and how to exercise and what to do to feel happy, your body can tell you all of that.

We live in this Western society that just cuts you off at the head and makes you think that all your body is or something you manipulate, that's all it is it's just this mass, that has no voice or no wisdom.  So when you start opening up the lines of communication with your body, you start to listen to it. You start to feel really good.  It is just like when you get a cut you don't have to look at the cut and be like okay white blood cells come do your thing. No the white blood cells are on it. They start forming a scab around the cut and the processes of healing begins.

Our bodies are so smart that we can't even conceptualize and wrap our mind around all the brilliance of our body.  So if I can teach you some of that, and I can show you how awesome your body is and how she is here to guide you.  She's here to guide yourself care and, healthy lifestyle, and  she's also here to guide you on your life choices.

 

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The 28 day moon cycle

The feminine approach to an, active lifestyle, is really is a woman’s 28-day cycle if you're menstruating.  As women we have a 28-day cycle and that 28-day cycle mirrors the moon.  There's four phases within our 28-day cycle and also within the moon cycle.  Those four phases also mirror the four seasons of the planet. A, healthy lifestyle, includes following your cycle.

For example just to make this really simplified, when you're bleeding it is the New Moon phase.

When we're having our period we tend to be more hibernating, we're not as extroverted.  This is our introverted time.  This is the time when we reflect and restore.  This is our winter time so if you're ever confused you just look at the season the new moon. So when you're bleeding doing a high intense workout it's probably not the best thing for your body.  If you're on hormonal birth control or you're not having your period,  just start tracking the moon and your body will start syncing up with it.

Vice versa the full moon  is your ovulation or summer phase.  You are hyper energized.  There's lots of growth, there's lots of expansion, there's lots of extroverted energy and so this is a really good time for an, active lifestyle, in terms of movement. Now is the time for that high intensity workout or doing that new salsa high intensity class.

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https://myhelps.us/ask-coach-myrna-how-to-start-over/

Wildly Alive  self-care and, Healthy lifestyle, coaching program

Wildly alive is about Shame -based change is by telling yourself you can't have those things and you're a bad person if you eat those things, so just to flip this on the head a little bit and think about it from a respect based change.  I always tell my clients I would never tell them they can't eat things ever unless they have an allergy to something,  that's a whole different conversation. Telling yourself you can't eat bread because this study says that bread is bad for you.  I don't think that's enough to really shift into respect based change.  I'm a huge believer in moderation.  I think a little bit of everything is okay.  So have the bread or have the beer, really sit and enjoy it.  If your body starts to say to you, I feel bloated every time I drink a beer, then make some changes. Drink half a beer or try a different beer.

Here are the mechanics for a,  healthy active lifestyle, during covid-19

  • trying keeping the energy light in our house
  • limit media, limit the news because it is mostly negative
  • have a lot of sunlight.
  • getting outside and connecting with nature. Being in nature boosts your immune system. I also love to bring nature into my house. I have lots of my salt lamps.
  • An, active lifestyle, starts with some sort of movement on a regular basis. It could be going out for a walk, it could be yoga, it could be bike riding. Exercise calms your nerves.
  • drink a lot of water
  • increasing your vitamin C intake. I've been making this lemon ginger juice.
  • stay open to the lessons of the, covid-19, pandemic
  • be grateful for what you have and for your family
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I read somewhere that you were disappointed in Oprah. Please share why that is.

I would to preface this statement with I do love Oprah. I love her in so many different ways as a woman, as a woman of color.  She is breaking the mold and I love her for so many reasons; but a few weeks ago, I was watching an interview with her in Lady Gaga and she's on stage and they were talking about mental health and I loved it. I was like yes I love this conversation they're about mental health, this is such an important part of health right now. But then I started seeing  WW everywhere and I was like what is WW? It was  Weight Watchers and I was so devastated in that moment because Weight Watchers is diet culture.  It's the epitome of diet culture.  They were having this beautiful conversation about mental health and calorie counting. Weight Watchers has been proven to be mentally unhealthy. It was so sad.

I still love Oprah, I know she's human.  I know she's flawed.  I forgive her.

Do you have any special programs or coaching programs that promote a, Healthy Lifestyle

You can find all coaching programs at www.wildlyalive.com

I do have a new free challenge called the embrace and reach your body challenge, that will start in a few weeks.  You could go to wildlyalive.com flash challenge.

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/its-not-about-willpower-how-to-lose-weight-without-dieting/

https://myhelps.us/how-nutritional-supplements-help-achieve-optimum-health/

https://myhelps.us/reprogram-mind-stop-binge-eating/

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6 Ways Intrusive Thoughts Activate The Law of Attraction

What you think about you bring about, so intrusive, thoughts activate the Law of Attraction. To get into the, vortex, and activate, the law of attraction, for the things you want, reach for the best feeling, thoughts, in every moment.

If you want to heal the body you must first heal the mind `~ Plato

Listen to Podcast Here:

You create your physical condition through your, intrusive thoughts activate the law of attraction.  That means you can think yourself sick or think yourself well. I have healed pain in my body many times by focusing on healing energy so in the reverse you can heal yourself by, intrusive good feeling thoughts.

Your natural state is wellbeing, not disease.

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The Magic Breathing 

Disease is the result of blocked energy and that is why the body scan chakra meditation is such a powerful healing tool.

Relax and breathe deeply is the first response to any illness.

Try this next time you feel pain in your body, use these, thoughts, to bring about healing:

Imagine a light like the sun or moon entering your body through your breath. Send that light directly to the pain area hold it there for a few seconds. Then breathe out and imagine you are collecting the pain and breathing it out.

The Magic of Commitment Focus, Thoughts

You are either doing something or you are waiting for something to happen. You are either committed to someone or something or you are not.

Obstacles become opportunities when you are committed.

With commitment, failure is not an option.

Get clear of what you want and why you want it.  These, thoughts, help you focus and stay committed

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Ask yourself the following Questions:

  • What specifically do I want to happen? include details
  • Why do I want this ?
  • How will I feel when I achieve this goal?
  • Am I willing to ask for support if I need it?
  • Will I refuse to give up?
  • Am I excited about making this promise to myself?
  • Will I enjoy the journey from where I am today to where I want to be tomorrow?

https://myhelps.us/how-to-transform-good-thoughts-into-things/

The Magic of Faith Thoughts become things: Activating the Law of Attraction

You have to believe and have faith that the current universal energy will carry you to all your desires that is why, intrusive thoughts activate the law of attraction, and faith.

Faith  is essential to manifesting your desires. It is the currency of the spiritual world.

Trust God and have faith that he will give you the desires of your heart

Hold the vision and trust the process

Go with the flow, try not to constantly swim upstream

Tune into guidance and intuition.  Let the universe take you where you want to go

https://myhelps.us/caring-for-your-thought-seed-inception-ideas/

The Magic of your Life Story Activate, the Law of Attraction 

Start telling your story the way you want it to be, not how it is or was.

You are the director and producer of your life story

Tell an empowering new story about your marriage, your kids,  your bank account, your success.

Write the story, direct and produce the movie and, the law of attraction, will do the rest.

Check out Helen Keller The Story of my Life 

The Story of My Life, first published in 1903, is Helen Keller's autobiography detailing her early life, especially her experiences with Anne Sullivan. Portions of it were adapted by William Gibson for a 1957 Playhouse 90 production, a 1959 Broadway play, a 1962 Hollywood feature film, and the Indian film “Black”, which was directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali. The book is dedicated to inventor Alexander Graham Bell. The dedication reads, “To ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL Who has taught the deaf to speak and enabled the listening ear to hear speech from the Atlantic to the Rockies, I dedicate this Story of My Life.”

https://myhelps.us/using-the-law-of-attraction-to-have-it-all/

The Magic of Asking: Your Intrusive Thoughts Activate the Law Of Attraction  

If you don't ask you don't get -Gandhi

Ask and you will receive – Jesus

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”

When you ask you get!

  • Ask with confidence and certainty
  • Ask with determination and persistence
  • Ask clearly and precisely
  • Stay focused on your desire and getting to your yes
  • Ask for what you want
  • Ask for that discount,
  • Ask for a major guest, if you are a podcast host like me
  • ask for a loan,
  • ask for a date,
  • ask for affection,
  • ask to be of service,
  • ask for the listing if you are a realtor like me
  • ask for the sale

Ask Ask Ask

See yourself in possession of what you are asking.

Connect with source and Ask God in prayer.

Make a strong declaration this is what I want and I will not  settle for less

The Magic of the Vortex, The Law of Attraction 

Life inside the, vortex, is Devine – Abraham Hicks

The, vortex, is the place where everything you desire is held.

It is un-manifested potential and how, the law of attraction, works

Everything you have asked for consciously or unconsciously already exists in vibrational reality called a, vortex.

All your desires have already been manifested and are waiting for you in your, vortex

Vibration reality always precedes physical reality because  whatever you hold in your hand, you first held in your head.

To get into the, vortex, and activate, the law of attraction, for the things you want, reach for the best feeling, thoughts, in every moment.

Think good feeling thoughts.

Stuff your, vortex, with positive energy and with good feeling, thoughts, and  actions:

  • like walking in nature
  • meditation,
  • singing your favorite song,
  • hugging your children,
  • kissing your spouse,
  • talking a hot bath,
  • getting a massage
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Direct your attention to positive, thoughts, and feelings.

Everything you desire will unfold at the perfect time, because you have activated, the law of attraction.

Conclusion

Thanks for spending this time with Coach Myrna today.  Remember to subscribe and turn on notification.

Until next time Namaste

 

 

blog, coaching, differentiation, Executive Coaching, healthy relationships, improving sales, Leadership, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, mindset, Mindset Transformation, minority women, Personal Development, podcast, small business, transform your mind

Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

Your Life Theme and, personalities,  shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes and the, 16 personalities types, that can compose your identity.

Introduction

John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman.  He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill.   That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, 16 personalities types, controls  our communication.

 

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He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are.  That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions.  Decisions like, I know I like this or I don't like that.

How to identify our 16 Personalities.

John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn't mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale.  That is how you read people.

Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun.  I want to appease the, personalities,  so when I  walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down.  I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.

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How does Objects identity their  personalities?

Our, personality, as our way of expression.  Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization.  The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.

Myrna: I'm thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I'm thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.

True,  but  I  look at what do you like to do for fun?  What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?”  I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are. I am able to identify one of your, 16 personalities types, from this test.

Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You

Your Life Theme offers the, personality,  framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.

You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or  “Life Themes.”

These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.

These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.

These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.

While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.

They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.

Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.

The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator

An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
  • Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
  • Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
  • Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
  • Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.

According to, Myers-Briggs,  theory of, personality types,  people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:

  • Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
  • Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
  • Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)

The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:

  • Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)

The 16 personalities types

The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.

The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.

The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.

The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.

All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:

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The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:

  • The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
  • The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
  • The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
  • The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
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As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.

What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.

All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:

To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com

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Additional Resources, Personalities.

https://myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

https://myhelps.us/the-secret-to-living-the-life-of-your-dreams/

https://myhelps.us/how-disable-your-autopilot-brain/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory

Authentic Identity Assessment

What Are the 12 Archetypes and Which One Dominates Your Personality

 

Life Coaching, life coaching blog, lifecoaching, Personal Development, personal development podcast, transform your mind

Which Wolf Are You Feeding?

Which wolf are you feeding? The wolf that wins is the one you feed.  The wolf you choose to feed will define who you are.  We all know we should feed the, good wolf, even if it’s harder. Feeding the, good wolf, is how we end up feeling a sense of accomplishment and success at the end of the day.

In this week’s episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to teach on the topic, Which Wolf are you feeding?

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Let me share with you an ancient story: Which Wolf Are You feeding?

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” The one you feed.

This story depicts the battle for your mind.

There is a war going on in your mind

Every choice we make is a battle between the two wolves in our head.

These two wolves are competing for supremacy. The one who wins is the one you feed.

How do we feed these wolves?

  • We feed them by what we read,
  • What we focus our time and attention on
  • Who we spend time with.
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Transform Your Mind Podcastland

Feeding the patient wolf

Think of a dripping faucet. Most of us don’t have the patience to wait for the drips to fill our cup. We want to turn on the tap at full blast and have our cup full up in seconds, but our goals are like the dripping faucet, we make small steps towards them and we must have the staying power to watch the drips fill the cup.

This also builds mental toughness because of delayed gratification.

If you don’t conquer the mind, it becomes your enemy. If you feed the, evil wolf, then you make the mind your enemy.

The definition of an enemy is one who is opposed or hostile to something or a thing that weakens or harms you.

Feeding your anger, fear, greed ego, envy, insecurities and jealousy with negative thoughts and emotions harms and weakens you. The negative emotions  gets stronger while the positive qualities gets weaker and weaker.

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Transform Your Mind Amazon

How to feed the good wolf

Start feeding the, good wolf, that represents love, compassion, humility, patience, peace and harmony. You conquer the mind by staying the course, by watching the faucet drip and having faith that the cup will eventually fill up.

Another way to conquer the mind  is by talking back to it out loud.

For example.. If the voice  in your head is telling you that you always quit and that you will never get your degree reply out loud “just watch me. I will finish this class no Devil in hell is going to prevent me from getting my degree. Get behind me Satan.”

Do not feed the one  that presents fear and insecurity, remember that fear is false evidence appearing real.

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The courage wolf

The best way to feed the, good wolf, is to program the conscious mind. This builds the, courage wolf.

One of the ways to do this is start talking back to the negative self-talk with positive affirmations.

If the, inferiority wolf, tells you that you no man will love you because you are not educated, talk back to it with your voice and say “I will find happiness and love because I am love, I have a lot to offer a man, I don’t need an education, any man would be blessed to have me. The next man who comes my way will be exactly what I prayed for.  He will be kind and generous and love me like I deserve to be loved.”  That is how you feed to,  faith wolf!

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Feeding the evil wolf

One truth to remember is that it’s so much easier to feed the bad wolf.  The, evil wolf, is is easy to get angry,  complain, feel resentful, dismiss or ignore others, and feel superior.

There is almost no effort required to do those things, and you’re getting the reward with the sensation of relieving and instant gratification without much an action.

The, good wolf, is very different; it’s picky, it’s harder to feed. It’s challenging, tiring and time-consuming to do things like learning, teaching, inspiring, sharing or simply sticking to a new behavior. These things take so much energy, effort, momentum, and guts. And you don’t usually see immediate results from them.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna I hope you were encouraged today and that you stay in joy peace and harmony so the, evil wolf, would never get you.

Additional Resources

Finding Joy In Your Nothingness

 

blog, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, personal development podcast, podcast

How to Plan Fund Build Your Dream Life

I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.~~Nathen Aaren

Nathan Aaren helps heart centered entrepreneurs merge all of their passions into one life mission.  Plan, fund and build their, dream life, and business. He’s raised over 1 million dollars per client and worked with Fortune 500 Companies and Grammy Award Winning Artists including The Olympics, Adidas, CBS Sports, Lil Wayne and Ray Ban, and produces two podcasts which charted #1 on iTunes. After being homeless, he became an agent and landed his first 7 figure investment for a client, which later allowed him to create a reality series, “Chasing My Dreams”, which will air this winter 2020.

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Introduction – Homeless to living your, dream life?

Nathan – There are so many lessons that I've learned from being homeless; but really basically I started off thinking I was going to be super successful and then I ended up being homeless, locked out of my car. I hit rock bottom, one of many rock bottoms, and over the course of that time I learned a few things.

On one hand, I learned some things about navigating in the real world.  The physical existence of this life; things about leveraging, money, leveraging resources, so that you can live from a place of abundance and not of scarcity.

I also learned some physiological things like meditation and even spiritual things relating to manifestation.   When it came to the financial stuff, I realized that, I needed to stop thinking about money the way I was thinking about it.  I feel that people generally speaking, either thinks about, money, and there, dream life,  when they are in need.

You need Money to live your, dream life

When people or are not living the life of their, dreams, or have lack, they're not going to be happy; but when they get that, money, they'll be happy and start living their, dream life.

Then you have other people who demonize, money, and say, money, is not important, money, is the root of all evil (which is actually interestingly regularly misquoted from the Bible). Whatever side of the spectrum you're on, we can find a middle ground and say, “I need human beings to help me with my mission, with my vision, and my, dreams, and with my goal of living my, dream life. If I need tools, if I need resources, if I need anything that you could possibly imagine, then I need to find a way to get you those resources.

I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.

Myrna – What happened that night you were locked out of your car. Did you start making a plan then?

Nathan – No that the night I remembered an event when I about 7 years old.  I was about 7 years old – thinking who do I want to be? What are my interests as opposed to just thinking what profession do I want?  This memory caused me to create so many tools for myself, for perspective and for abundance mentality.

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Some tools to visualize your, Dream Life

Things like gratitude, things like meditation, and also things like just coaching myself.  Going on walks and coaching myself whenever I find myself in a negative thought pattern.  I'll walk round the block or sometimes I'll walk for miles and I'll just say okay “Nathan what's going on, talk to me” then I'll talk right back.

Myrna – So at seven you started thinking about your interests and what is was you wanted to do? When did you start visualizing your, dream life, and visioning things? You mentioned meditation, tell us about your end of life meditation practice.

We want to transition into visualizing your, dream life, the power of intention, rewriting your old programs and thinking about what you want to be at the end of your life. I guess that’s your end of life meditation correct?

Nathan – When I started figuring out the, money, side of things and helping people get funding, I started realizing that I was helping people get, money, for things that maybe they lost passion in. Maybe that they thought they liked that career and then changed their mind.  Sometimes they got the, money, and they started working towards their goal, of the life of their, dreams, and was miserable because it was not their Dharma.

So I tagged into the beginning of my coaching process, this end of life meditation as a way  of figuring out who you are.  What you want to be doing with your life; just getting really clear. A lot of clarity, so that when you're walking down that path and you get to the point where you get funding, when you get, money, for your personal expenses and your business expenses, that it is something that just can't leave you; because it is who you are.

I really resonate with your Life coaching package,  where in either your first or second episode where you talk about who am I; I love that process. I will admit, your program  is a little better than mine! I just love helping people through that process of clarity.  One of the tools I use is, the end of life meditation.

End of Life Meditation to Help you Live the Life of your, Dreams

Take some deep breaths and get into your core self. Get in touch with God, or source energy. Feel that connection, imagine yourself at a late age in life, maybe there's a beautiful window and you're looking out through the window.

  • You're on a comfortable couch and you're drinking your cocoa, your tea or your coffee and you're in your last days let’s say you're 95 years old. You look back at your life and you start to smile about all the people that you've met, and that you've connected with.
  • You look back and you're feeling wonderful and you're feeling grateful. You get Goosebumps of gratitude for this beautiful life. You start thinking about how beautiful it would be to just have one little moment to go back in time and just to experience life again, maybe 20 years ago to when you were 75. You start imagining what would it be like to go back to being a young whippersnapper of 75 years old. You ask yourself, was I living my, dream life, 20 years ago? If not, what would I change?
  • Then you go back 30 years ago to when you was 65 and you take some time there and ask the question. Was I living my, dream life? If the answer is no.
  • You go back 40 years when you was 55, and 50 years ago to when I was 45 and 60 years ago to when I was 35 and you start thinking about that and you say, what would I do if I had a little bit of time? What would I do differently to live the life of my, dreams.

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I'm very grateful for the time I've had here; but at the same time if I could go back,  I would be a little bit more courageous.  Would I tell that person that I loved them a little bit more.  I would go out of my comfort zone and try something new and creative. If I could go back, I would make sure I lived the life of my, dreams.  That would be so great and then you open your eyes and your wish has been granted and you get a second chance.

Myrna – Nice that's a different spin to the one that I know. I know the 85 year old rocking chair test.  What is the goal of it exercise?

Failure at living your, dream life.

Nathan – There are a few goals:

  1. One is obviously to get perspective,
  2. Another is continue to have a tool in your tool belt the ability to make tough decisions or to get yourself to do things that you know you should do; but you don't have the confidence to do.
  3. Take away the fear of taking risks
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Myrna – One of your tools is teaching people how to crack the code on their, dream life, and I know you're a financial person. Now, where is the code to finances? Is that has to do with abundance and scarcity? So talk about this cracking code on living your, dream life.

Cracking the code to financial abundance in your, dream life

Nathen – My life's mission is to come together with other people and continue to build and learn how to crack the code to living your, dream life, so I've cultivated a lot of wonderful tools.

One of these tools is network sharing. We get together and we do that. We crack the code, we continue to ask questions, great questions, create great answers and great solutions.

Being around people who are like-minded and who are maybe five steps ahead of you in certain areas and in other areas you're five steps ahead, is a great way that I've learned to just crack the code. The end of life meditation with the life design process that I teach basically allows you to start by first visualizing, then prioritizing and then planning.

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Visualizing your, Dream Life

Nathan – So visualizing is a really important step,  because when somebody just goes right into, visualizing the life of their, dreams, they might not know what it is they want to do.  I start off by asking them what they want to do with their life, what is their, dream life? But most people don't know what that is, we have to connect with God.

We have to connect with the Universe, source energy. I like to ask people some things they don't consider which is preferences and non-negotiables. Preferences and non-negotiables are basically the foundations of your, dream life.

  • What are your preferences in your day-to-day activities and in your day-to-day life?
  • Do you want to wake up whenever you want? Go to sleep whenever you want? Or do you want to have a boss that tells you what to do. Do you need structure?
  • Your preference is ‘No I can't have a boss’, I need to have my own schedule, do my own thing.
  • Some people’s preference is to travel the world, they want to be able to work from their laptop, other people are like – no I want to be in my home with my family, I don't care about travelling the world, as long as I have a stable income that's what matters to me.
  • So by knowing your preferences is important in visualizing your, dream life.
  • You prefer a certain kind of humor and like to be around people every day or you like to be by yourself.

 

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What's under the hood of your dream life.

Your non-negotiables may be your purpose.  The big, sparkly thing that you want to do like help everybody become successful and you becoming a successful coach, or a motivational speaker etc.

Those are the day-to-day things that are going to really help you thrive on a day-to-day basis, so getting really clear on those things is super important. Once you have Fantasized and done your preferences and non-negotiables, then you have a clear understanding of what you want your, dream life, to looks like.

Myrna – I know that you have a course  called Dream University. It's an online course and you say it's not like any other course. So tell our listeners about your Dream University and funding and how people can get resources and your course.

How to Plan Fund and Build your, Dream Life

Dream University is an online course that helps you plan fund and build your, dream life, and your dream business.  The process that I'm kind of talking about now is loosely related to that course.

The course basically step one is you say okay

  • ‘I'm going to take a step back from trying to be productive’ and ‘I'm going to figure my life out.
  • I'm going to take some breathing room and I'm going to say, what do I really want to be doing?
  • What's going to light me up inside?
  • What's going to make me feel great that when I am 95, I can look back on my, dream life, and I have those goose bumps and I feel amazing? I feel grateful and there are no regrets.

Once we we've really gotten clear on what it is we want from our, dream life, I have a one-page plan which is the idea of you. It's a one-page vision. If you take it and you put in your hands or you stick it on your wall or on your desk and you can point at it and say I don't know how I'm going to make this happen; but if I can make this happen.

I'll be the happiest person in the entire world. That's the idea, you have one page, you look at, you're like that's it, this page gives me the emotions that I want and I'm going for it, and in the process with all the tools I have, I'm going to strive to fully engage from full abundance and it will feel great.

How to get Funding for your, Dream Business

  • Step two is getting funding. Now the beauty of this is even if you don't need funding this is like from my perspective a much more robust version of a business plan, where you have something that is interactive, that you look at and you can use to get funding, basically called a pitch deck. I call it a fill in the blank funding template (which allows you to fill in every single aspect that you need to present a presentation to someone for funding) whether it be an investor grants or crowd funding as well.

This presentation, not only does it work to get you money for your personal expenses like your rent or your mortgage, your bills, your gas, your food, your groceries and so on. You can focus on what you love full-time; but also for your business expenses like if you need to hire people, if you need to buy gear or equipment, if you need to pay rent for a space whatever it is, it allows you to have all the things you need.

So you can work from a place of abundance or scarcity. This business plan is a step-by-step road map to your business goals and, dream life. There are some aspects like the financial aspects that you can use to decide. Do I need money? How much money do I need to live my specific lifestyle?

Some people want to live very simply, some people don't want to live very simply. They want to have all these special cool neat, unique things – all is great; but you can use it for two purposes. One for your personal life, two for your business life (get funding for your thing)

  • Step three is to grow and at that point it's just really about helping people get the right strategies for the things that they want to do. Reverse engineering what their end result is and finding out how they want to do that.

So in business, usually that means building the thing that is the most value that you can provide to the world and then finding where the human needs are. You want to serve humanity and tap into those audiences so that you can serve those people.

Myrna – Tell our audience how they can connect with you on online or to how to join your group or to order your course.

If you guys want to check out Dream University you can go to www.nathen.tv  Feel free to text me, my number is 310 807 1998.

Conclusion to building and funding your Dream Life

Thank you so much for tuning in to transform your mind, to transform your life radio hour and podcast as you see I bring you guests that can help you to transform your life. The first thing we need to start with is to visualize the life of your, dreams.  That starts in your head.  You can’t hold in your hand anything you don’t hold first in your head.

I want to give you a personal invitation to my Facebook Group called Life Coach. We have daily inspirations from me, coach Myrna  and from dozens of other coaches who can also help you stay inspired during the week. Please subscribe to the podcast here:

Your Subscription helps to reach a wider audience. You know, we want to help.

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/secrets-thriving-not-just-surviving/

https://myhelps.us/successful-but-unfulfilled-get-back-to-basics/

 

coaching, Executive Coaching, Fluid Intelligence, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, motivation, Personal Development, podcast, Self Love, startup IQ

How Does Emotional Intelligence Affect Your Success In Life

If you do not take control of your,  emotional intelligence, and thoughts, they will repeat in cycles. We have over 70,000 thoughts per day and 90% of these thoughts repeat over and over. That is why people get stuck in life, reliving the past like Groundhog day.

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

Jenny R. Craig, LCSW, BCD is a, transformation, specialist, utilizing her expertise in assisting leaders in creating authentic, profound, long-lasting impact in their organizations and personal lives.

Emotional intelligence, is important because, Strategic planning,  does not kick in until the mid-twenties.

Also any huge trauma changes the way the brain works.

As a, transformation, coach we give our clients tools and techniques that can move them through the darkness of being stuck in rewind, and into the light. The light is to find out your true purpose and discover who you really are.

Emotional Intelligence, allows you to do the mental work in living a purposeful life.

Here are four traits of Emotional Intelligence:

* Self Awareness: Knowing what we are feeling and why we are feeling this way.

Self awareness definition: They said that self-awareness is the ability to look inward, think deeply about your behavior, and consider how it aligns with your moral standards and values. When your behavior is out of alignment with your standards, you feel uncomfortable, unhappy and negative.

* Self Management: Handling distressing emotions so that they don't cripple you. Self-management, which is also referred to as “self-control” or “self-regulation,” is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations.

* Empathy: Knowing what someone else is feeling. Being capable of walking in another man's shoes. Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another's perspective, to understand, feel and possibly share and respond to their experience. There are more definitions of empathy that include but is not limited to social, cognitive, and emotional processes primarily concerned with understanding others

* Skilled Relationships: There is not a better barometer of, emotional intelligence, than the quality of one's relationships. When you put the top three skills together, you will have quality and healthy relationships.

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What is Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence, refers, to the ability to identify and manage one’s own, emotions, as well as the, emotions, of others.

Emotional intelligence, is generally said to include at least three skills:

  • emotional awareness,
  • the ability to identify and name one’s own, emotions
  • the ability to harness those, emotions, and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving
  • the ability to manage, emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own, emotions, when necessary and helping others to do the same.

There is no validated, emotional intelligence test.

Test for, emotional intelligence, looks for the general intelligence factor—and many argue that, emotional intelligence, is therefore not an actual construct, but a way of describing interpersonal skills that go by other names.

Despite this criticism, the concept of, emotional intelligence, sometimes referred to as emotional quotient or EQ—has gained wide acceptance. In recent years, some employers have even incorporated, emotional intelligence tests, into their application and interview processes, on the theory that someone high in, emotional intelligence, would make a better leader or coworker.

Conclusion

I am grateful that you have tuned into this podcast from all around the world. I believe that the spirit of God has attracted you here so that you can receive the insights, revelations and knowledge revealed on this broadcast. Whatever you need for this day in your life you will receive. I can truly say that your life will never be the same because a brain that has been expanded with knowledge can never return to it's original size. I invite you to subscribe to this podcast so that you will receive new podcasts every week with more insights, revelations and knowledge so that you can live your best life now.

Visit me on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com and sign up for a free strategy session.

Additional Resources 

https://myhelps.us/how-apply-law-divine-oneness-to-life/

blog, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

How Black Fathers Replace Absentee Dad Myth

Black Fathers, are so valuable, we are so important.  We have to take care of ourselves, we have to get over this idea of stepping back or I can't deal with this and be there for our black families.

Carl Stokes Jr. is an author, keynote speaker, professor and social worker and author of the  brand new book  “A Straightforward Guide for Black Fathers to Improve Themselves and their Relationships with their Children”  So this post is about Fatherhood, and the Issue of, Black Fathers, because in the black community we have the label of the, black fathers,  are usually, absentee Dads.

Listen to the full interview here:

Introduction Why Black Fathers need to be visible

Dr Carl decided to write this book and mentor, black fathers, because it is something that the black community needs to get better at.  Carl Stokes Jr. is an award-winning social worker, educator, college instructor and recently received his doctorate in education. His dissertation focuses on, Black Fathers, and their perseverance in community colleges. Dr Carl is passionate about working to uplift the black community.   He also enjoys teaching, parenting classes, for a small non-profit organization.

Myrna – As a black man tell us your story of your relationship with your, father, and your current relationships with your daughters. I'm curious to know, because a lot of times we work on areas that we have lived through.

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Dr Carl – What's interesting is that my answer is both. I grew up with my, black father, and without my, black father.   My dad was in the home until I was about 10 or 11 years old, unfortunately though during that time he had fallen victim to the crack cocaine epidemic of the 80s. So my, father, was in a home; but life was very difficult during that time; because of what he was going through.

However, he was still in the home, there was still benefits of his presence. Then things got really bad to the point where we were basically forced out.  I went through that whole period of teenage years and everything without guidance of my, father.  So, as an adult, I can see the difference between an, absentee dad, and a, Black father, in the home.  Because even though my, father,  wasn't at his best, when he was in the home I benefited form him being visible.

Why Black Fathers should be visible to their kids

Myrna – So between the ages of 1 and 10 your dad was in the home; but he even though he couldn't be a, father, because he was under the influence of crack cocaine, what you are saying is that the fact your, father, was in the home; it had some positive effect on you.

Dr Carl – Absolutely! Discipline wise, teaching me how to protect and take care of my mother, because he was gone a lot.  He would have conversations with me. It was nice having a, father, to talk to. It was a benefit to me and my younger brother.

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I can sit here and say that I did get lessons from having that male presence in the house. I can also say I also experienced domestic violence and theft. I also experienced run-ins with the police and people from the street and all that. I wouldn't say stick it out regardless, because I just as easily could have went the other way. I was just fortunate enough to take the more positive path.

Why is being a visible Black Father is Important

Myrna – Let's transition to your relationship with your daughters. You have three daughters. How do you parent them knowing that you didn't have a, father, since you were 10 years old?

Dr Carl – Okay, this is where it gets a little bit interesting and sort of complicated, because I became a, black father, at 17 years old. I was a senior in high school, unfortunately because I was so young and because I didn't have the guidance and I was immature, I ended up not handling my, parenting, as a, Black father, the way I should have. My daughter’s mother decided to move to Atlanta Georgia and take my daughter with her.

I didn't know I had rights. I didn't know that I shouldn’t have allowed her to take my daughter without working out any arrangements. The separation caused damage to the relationship between me and my first daughter. When I became a, Black Father, to my other two daughters, I vowed that nothing was going to stop me from being a good dad. Fatherhood, became my absolute top priority.

Replacing the Absentee Black Father Myth

Myrna – Why is it that traditionally, black fathers, have been absent? We know we've got the crack epidemic, we know we've got prison; but even when none of those circumstances are present, black fathers, still don't make it a priority to parent their children. Why do you think that is the situation?

Dr Carl – We kind of lowered our own expectations as, Black dads. We have very little guidance and then when we put the other things in a mix;

  • incarceration,
  • impoverished conditions,
  • relationship struggles and finances.
  • It causes extra stress and strain on, Black fathers, and their relationships with their kids.

Myrna – I actually just started reading Mike Tyson's book “Undisputed Truth”. If you want to hear about a messed up Black family with no role models, this is the book to read.  I couldn’t believe all the stuff that Mike Tyson lived through as a child without a, Black father, and an, absentee dad. How can, Black Dads, have a relationship with their kids and a relationship as a husband when all they know is dysfunction?

A Guide for Black Fathers

Why did you write the book “Reclaim your Visibility: A Straightforward Guide for Black Men to Improve Themselves and their Relationship with your Children?

Dr Carl – I wrote this book simply because of this: I got it wrong for many years and I want to assist in the idea of, black fathers,  not having to go through being an, absentee dad, and learn from my mistakes. My eldest daughter and I  had a very rocky path and I don't want that to go in vain. I don't want to just talk about the plight of, Black Fatherhood,  I want to do something about it. If I can help one, Black Father, have a better relationship with their child or children, then it's totally worth it.

Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers
Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers

Myrna – What makes your guide book different from all the other, Fatherhood, books?

Dr Carl – I am not the old wise man on top of the mountain talking to the village. The reason why this book is different is I literally started to repair my relationship with my eldest daughter this past summer. So this book is about real life, not theory.

Myrna – A lot of, Black Fathers, are, absentee dads. Do you think that they can repair the damage and build back a relationship with their children?

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Dr Carl – Absolutely! We can't always take it back; but we have to learn from these mistakes and move on. That is the basis of the book and that's why it's called “A Straightforward Guide for Black Fathers to Improve Themselves and their Relationships with their Children” Because a lot of times, black fathers, need healing ourselves.

How to offer support for Black Father in College

Myrna – You mentioned that you did a doctoral thesis and research on Black Fathers in Colleges. Tell us about that.

Dr Carl – The dissertation is actually on, Black Student Fathers, and their persistence and perseverance in community Colleges. I was a community college, Black Father, with a child and a lot of times, these schools have programs for mothers; but no guidance for, Black Dads. I wanted to do something different and focus on this very specific population, black student fathers, in community college settings.

Myrna – Tell us about your media company – Stokes Media LLC.

Dr Carl – In the media piece, I do several things. This is my official company where I do speaking engagements, seminars conferences, trainings and mentoring. The other sides of my books are self-published. I'm also assisting other people to help get their stories out and become published Authors. So the whole Stokes Media concept embodies all those things.

Myrna – Tell our listeners and those watching on YouTube how to contact you and get a copy of your book.

Dr Carl – The easiest way to contact me is to go directly to my website www.drcarlstokesjr.com. You can go right to the contact page and fill out the inquiry form. You can ask questions, leave comments/feedback or whatever you want to do.

Myrna – You also mentor, Black Fathers, at a non-profit organization. Tell us about that.

Dr Carl – I actually do, parenting classes, for an agency here in Buffalo called the “Family Help Center”. So when parents are looking for assistance, I help.

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How Co-parenting can help Black Fathers stay visible

Myrna – When you do the, parenting classes, can you walk us through some of your subjects or the things that you talk about? In this conversation we've been focusing on, Black Fathers, but all fathers can benefit from your book and, parenting. What advise would you give them?

Dr Carl – I would say the number one advice I would give to parents is on, co-parenting. I don't care if you don't get along, I don't care if all broke up because he was doing this or doing that.  What's important is the child or the children. We have to learn to get along for the sake of the children and be fair to each other for the sake of the children. Your children are witnessing and understanding these arguments, these disagreements, these accusations and things like that.

We tend to think that the kids are stupid and they're not listening to anything. Let me tell you, they're taking in everything, they're taking in how you feel, they're taking in the energy that you're putting out and they are internalizing the things that they're hearing. So, co-parenting, is key especially in our community we have to get that fixed.

What is the message for Black Fathers

Myrna – What is the message that you want them to take away with when they close the book?

Dr Carl – The predominant message of the book if I had to break it down into one main theme, I would say I would want my, black fathers, to understand how important we are to the situation. As a foundation of the family, to us being better as a community as a whole.  Black Fathers, are so valuable, we are so important, we have to take care of ourselves, we have to get over this idea of stepping back or I can't deal with this.

We have to understand how meaningful it is for us to be around and holding down our families. We hold down our households, our households work together to hold down our neighborhoods, our neighborhoods hold it down together to hold down our communities and it spreads on like that.

We don't need to worry about or hope for everybody else to do this for us, we can do it ourselves; but it starts with us being in the house and visible to our kids. Even if you don't live in the house, I'm just saying the presence of involvement is necessary. Not everybody is going to be together, and that's why we talk about, co-parenting. Our presence is so valuable, we have to make sure that we handle our business as a, black father.

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Myrna – Where can they get the book?

Dr Carl – You can get the book on Amazon Kindle. If you want a signed copy you can get it from me directly at www.drcarlstokesjunior.com.

If anybody wants the Audio book, go to my site www.drcarlstonesjr.com. Order the Audio book and there's a free sample on there.

Enter the code “stay visible2021” and you'll get 25% off of the Audio book.

Conclusion

Black Fathers, are important to the community. Any father is important to the community; but we're concentrating on our community, the black community. Our community is jacked up. Like you said you go to your friend's house and they've got a mom and a dad and food in the kitchen and everybody is getting along. You're not outside throwing things at each other and having the police come by and all that which is a lot of which is the lifestyle of some children in the, black community.

Shout out to my Atlanta audience. Hopefully your daughter can listen on the radio WDJY 99.1 FM.

I want to encourage you guys if you're watching us on YouTube to please subscribe. We're trying to grow our channel because it's much more exciting to actually see the person that I'm interviewing. So, if you're watching on YouTube, kindly subscribe so you'll be able to get the new videos as they come out every week.

If you're listening on the radio and you want to be able to hear the podcast another time other than the radio broadcast, I encourage you to subscribe to any of the 11 podcast players that the show airs on.

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If you're in iTunes, please read and review because that allows us to grow our audience as well. I also have a Facebook group called Life Coach. I invite you guys all to join.

Additional Resources

Celebrating Black Love Introducing BlackdateBox

https://myhelps.us/self-love-secret-out-of-the-snares/

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50 Shades Approach: Become A Goddess In The Bedroom

Would you like to have, 50 shades of Grey, in your Bedroom? Have the, sexual confidence,  of, Dakota Johnson, by embracing your, Goddess,  in the Bedroom. Life Coach Myrna Young, interviews Intimacy and Orgasmic Coach, Margo Blake. Margo is going to teach you How to Embrace Your, Goddess, in the Bedroom with,  sexual confidence.

As a teen mom Margo was forced into developing her, sexual confidence, at an early age. At 48 years old she decided to learn the secrets of the, intimacy, that had always eluded her. Even though she was always, sexually confident, She wanted to know more about the RAW, Vulnerable parts of herself that she always held back from men and address her, fear of intimacy.  She wanted to find out for herself and also to teach other women to embrace there, intimacy issues. So she started, intimacy coaching,  teaching women How to be, sexually confident, and embrace their Goddess in the bedroom, 50 shades of grey, style.

Your own 50 Shades of Grey in the bedroom

In celebration of the movie “50 Shades Freed” and Valentines Day, I wanted to give my listeners a gift. A gift of Awakening along the lines of the Awakening felt by, Dakota Johnson,  by Christian Grey.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/entertainment/a17036582/jamie-dornan-naked-fifty-shades-freed/

Margo teaches women to use their voice to tell their partners what they want and don't want. She teaches women that men should be in servitude to them and they should have, sexual confidence, about their sexuality, embracing their Goddess and their, 50 shades of grey, in the bedroom fully!

As women of all ages are bored with their partners, the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, captures and excites women, the same way Christian Grey captures and excites, Dakota Johnson. Women are bored with the vanilla love making and vanilla lifestyle. We want our ice cream with sprinkles on top!

Melania Trump is one, Sexually Confident, woman! In an interview with Howard Stern, the First Lady disclosed some steamy information about her intimate life with the President. Read more: https://amomama.com/56829-melania-trump-confides-presidents-strong.html

 

Goddess in the Bedroom: 50 Shades 

Can you tell my audience your back story. How did you start,  intimacy coaching?

Well I'm going to try to do this very quickly because I am 54 years old and fabulous, so I'm going to try to speed it up. I was a teenage mom at 16 years old. I started to embrace my, sexuality, as a teenager but lacked, sexual confidence, and I had no, intimacy, with my partners.

I got married and divorced and when I turned 48 I felt I was missing out on life. I was close to 50 years old and my whole history of my relationships with men was sad. Men always left me. I'm going to transition out my relationship which was going on 10 years and I wanted to be me and embrace my, sexuality and become more intimate with my partners.

That's how I became an, intimacy coach, and started, intimacy coaching. I did a transformational workshop and certification with One Taste Coaching and I started to mentor clients for the last

six years. The last three years I've been on the journey of becoming an intimate orgasmic Life Coach with One Taste.

2. Question 2: What advice would you give to young women today on how to embrace their, Goddess, in the Bedroom and to How to be confident about their, sexuality?

If I had to give myself my sixteen-year-old self advice about my sexuality the first thing I would have asked was, why am I with this particular guy? As they develop, sexual confidence, you want to start telling men what you want and by doing that, we create a whole world of men of servitude. So once again the advice I would give young women and older women is learning to communicate what your desires are. I want it this way, no I don't want it that way.

50 shades of grey

50 Shades of Grey the Movie

In the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, Dakota Johnson,  is a young woman inexperienced in sex and becomes drawn in the world of a, dominatrix, Christian Grey. All three movies were well received; but it still received a lot of criticism about showcasing abuse of women. What do you think the message of the film, 50 shades of grey,  is for young women like, Dakota Johnson?

The movie, 50 shades of Grey, to me is is all about love and service and sex and that kind of thing

but I remember when I took my mom to see the movie. I posted it on Facebook several women responded with outrage saying how can I glorify that movie it abuses women.

Margo- I embrace the movie, it's of excited us to escape having a vanilla lifestyle. It's a different

type of lifestyle that they both agree on. It's all about giving up and surrendering to your man. It’s all about, intimacy, and, sexual confidence. That's what, Dakota Johnson, did she surrendered to the power-play. She trusted herself , and her, sexuality.

That person that posted on your Facebook page that she was abused couldn’t have seen the movie. She didn't see what you and I saw, because there was no abuse, it was it was consensual sex even though Christian Grey was a, dominatrix.

What constitutes, intimacy?

Margo what would you call, intimacy? Is it that raw vulnerable part that you allow your partner or your friends to see?

Margo- Intimacy, it's the part of you that does not lie. It's the part of you that allows your friends, your family, or your lover to look you in the eye and connect with you. So hypothetically if you are feeling sad can look at your daughter or your daughter can look at you and connect with you?

Because some of us were masks. We wear a mask our whole life, we don't allow people to see that vulnerable part of us.

Intimacy, is being able to communicate what you're feeling and not masking. Intimacy, is allowing that person to really see you without lying and without the drama.

Myrna – How does, intimacy, come into play in the bedroom? How do we find our, Goddess, in the bedroom?

Margo – Intimacy, is having the ability to tell your partner exactly how you want it, when you want it and how long you want it. That's, intimacy. You don't need to be like an army instructor, you just communicate. There's no words it's just your bodies and it's just your mind.

Additional Resources 

https://myhelps.us/alchemy-desire-episode-5-long-term-relationship-dance/

https://myhelps.us/how-embrace-female-sexuality-divine-feminine/