Category Archives: women

How to Overcome the Pain of Domestic Violence

My guest today shares her story of years of, domestic violence, she was verbally and physically abused by her parents and then continued the cycle into, abusive relationships, one of them almost killing her. After her last, abusive relationship, ended, she discovered that he was sexually molesting her 7 year old daughter. Shermomicia tells a powerful story of how she is stopping the cycle of, domestic violence, and healing her family.

Domestic Abuse and Childhood Trauma

Shermonicia tell me your back story. I know you're studying for your masters right now but can you take us through your journey to this point in your life.

I have three sisters and one brother. The four of us growing up with my mother and father they were both on drugs. My whole entire life was abusive. I am also a victim of, sexual molestation. I was sexually attacked when I was like seven or eight. It was hard growing up with both parents on drugs. I have three kids with 3 different men who were all abusive.
I'm going to talk about the abuse today is where the abuse that almost cost me my life.

I would say that my abuse started way before I even got with any man. My mother was very verbally and physically abusive. Every day she would tell me how she wished she never had us.

She called us all kind of names so, I didn't have no self-esteem, none whatsoever. My father was abusive as well, he would abuse my mom. It led me to abusive men. I got married to my son's dad and he was verbally abusive. He left me and my son with no money and we got evicted. I lost my job because of him and we'd had nowhere to go, so my mother decided I guess you can come stay with me.

So I lived with her for a little while and I was able to get back on my own feet to get my own place. I met my oldest daughter father 2 years after my divorce. We got together and I had his child seven months after we met. Four months after she was born, the abuse and , domestic violence, started. It lasted for four years. I was physically beaten not daily, maybe every other day. He was a monster.

He really was. I have been kicked in my head, I have been punched and choked and slapped; brought up against walls dragged, through the house by my hair. He locked me in a closet, he used belts. I didn't want to sleep with him, two times he knocked me unconscious and he got so scared because he thought he killed me.
Wow, domestic violence, is no joke. It is hard for me to write this.

Multiple domestic violence relationships

Shermonicia let's talk about what happened in the third, domestic violence, relationship.

I met him in 2013 and right away we started a sexual relationship. He was always saying I don't want a girlfriend, I just want to have have fun. I got pregnant seven months after meeting him. So here I am, a third child by a third man. He used God to get in the door. He said God told me you're going to be my wife and he just he moved in.

For the first 3-4 months the relationship was wonderful. He's was a, narcissist,  who used sex to control, He was very sexual he used sex with everything that he does, so after 4 months the verbal and, mental abuse, started. The pattern of, domestic violence, started again. He'd push me against the wall, he’d put his hands on me, but it wasn't like the first, domestic violence, relationship I was in.

He propose and we were planning our wedding and fifty days before the wedding he called it off. He jumped on me in front of my children and walked out. About a month after he left he left, my seven-year-old daughter came to me and said he put grease between my legs. That kind of caught me off guard and when I went to him and asked him about it and he said she was hurting down there so I put grease.

My daughter would not talk about it until I took her to a church group, the lady was sharing about how her father molested her and she broke down and told me all what her was doing to her. It was almost like a second heartbreak to me because I was dealing with a breakup. We had a four year old child together, I was going to marry this man. It was devastating and so I immediately contacted the authorities and you know got everything going. The trial starts in a couple of weeks.

Tune in to listen to this incredible story of survival and how Shermomicia is making sure that the cycle does not continue to her daughters.

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Continue reading How to Overcome the Pain of Domestic Violence

How to Get and How to Keep a Man

 

Stephanie Stanford, Love Empowerment Coach tell us the secrets to get and, how to keep a man.

Stephanie teaches audiences how to reach inside and access the power that's always been there through the power of LOVE!
She's worn tiara's on stage, thrown candy in the crowd and performed lip sync of “All About That Base” to keep the crowds laughing while they learn. Her down to earth tips make it easy for anyone to master the mysteries of love and bring out the peace, passion and princess-power of every woman.

In her interview on How to Get and, How to Keep a Man, Stephanie says that, Self Love, shuts down Self doubt so you can take action!

Relationship Love doesn't have to be so hard. Life Love keeps you balanced, peaceful and calm in a crazy world.

“When your life is filled with love, then you are free to pursue your purpose” You can experience Self Love, Relationship Love and Life love!

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Love is life a Boomerang, it always comes back, so give it freely. It is like seeds that blow in the wind. It does not always come back from the people we choose to love; but it always comes back. Check out my Chapter on Love in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”

Stephanie tells us that men have needs and some of those needs are to be the man, to be appreciated, to feel important.
It is not only important to know how To Get a man but also, how to keep a man, once you get him. Women need to know how to let a man know they are interested and then step back and let the man lead.
To Get and Keep a Man, women needs, self love. If you have no love for self you can't give love. It is also the #1 thing women can do to improve their relationships. 

Here are some ways on, how to keep a man

  1. Trust him with all your heart. If you want to, keep a man, don't treat him like just another guy who is unworthy of your trust. …
  2. Love yourself. …
  3. Have faith in him. …
  4. Make him feel handsome. …
  5. Make him feel he's the only one. …
  6. Don't make him feel jealous. …
  7. Let him know and understand you. …
  8. Be humble.
  9. Love yourself.
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Learn to love yourself first

You cannot give away what you don't have so, self love, is important.

Cliché? Sure. But if you don’t do it, you can’t expect anyone else to.

We all have a need to love and be loved. Developing our capacity to love ourselves serves as a training ground for loving other people.

If you can’t love yourself, you don’t believe that you are worthy of others’ love. And if you don’t believe you’re worthy of others’ love, you’ll struggle to build a healthy, long-term relationship.

Are you perhaps now thinking that you’re still just dating, and it’s way too soon to be thinking about love?

This isn’t about being in love, it’s about laying the foundations for love a little further down the line.

It’s about making sure that you’re lovable and demonstrating to your guy that you’re worthy of his continuing interest.

Think back to your very first forays into the world of relationships as a teen. Maybe you were nervous and unsure of yourself. You were probably still figuring out your identity and your place in the world.

While some lucky people manage to successfully forge a long-lasting relationship in their early years, most of us just haven’t learned to love ourselves enough at that young age to be able to do it.

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iHeart Radio

How to keep a man, Be Humble and Nice!

Being nice sounds like a no-brainer, right? But spend too much time trying to be nice and you risk being the opposite.

In those early days where you’re spending a lot of emotional energy getting to know someone, you can end up feeling a bit wrung out and all over the place.

You feel like you’re constantly thinking about how to react and what impression you’re giving.

You’re trying to be nice and make a good impression, but you end up putting him off because you’re overthinking everything and it shows (if you think it doesn’t, you’re wrong).

Stop doing this. By trying to be nice all the time, you’re not being yourself. No-one is constantly nice and undemanding.

Sometimes, everyone is a bit ratty after a hard day of work, or a bit upset about a family argument, or whatever. It’s OK to not be totally OK all of the time.

How to Keep a man, Make him feel Handsome

This is the perfect stage for being super-seductive. At this point, your sex life should be getting pretty hot.

You’re past any initial awkwardness, you’re getting to know each other but there’s still a hell of a lot for you to explore. This is a great time to make the most of your lust.

Remember that flirting isn’t just something you do in the first couple of dates. If you want your relationship to work out long-term, keep on flirting.

Remember that all the flirting you did in those heady early dates isn’t going to be enough to carry you through forever.

Flirting in a relationship, makes him feel handsome. Isn’t quite the same as flirting in order to try and get someone’s attention. It is letting him know that you only have eyes for him. That makes him feel good.

These tips show you to not only, how to keep a man, but how to thrive in your relationship 

Subscribe to the Transform Your Mind podcast on iTunes 

How to Unleash The Power Within

We are connected to, divine consciousness, and so we come pre-loaded with the power of the Universe, we need to learn how to unleash, the power within.

This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with coach Myrna, I interview Dr Donavan Outten, Dr Outten is going to share “How to unleash your, inner greatness, also called, the power within, so you can tap into the person God intended you to be.

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Tip of the week: Are you Desperate and Determined?

A few weeks ago, my pastor preached on the 3 D’s
Desperate, Determined and Dependent!
You see the 3 D’s require a mindset shift. 
In order to, unleash power within, we must become desperate, determined and dependent. We see numerous times in the bible when God promoted and elevated people who were either desperate, determined or dependent on him for victory.
We see that every miracle begins with a desperate problem.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Esther was born with the power within

The story begins with Ahasuerus, ruler of the Persian Empire, holding a lavish banquet, initially for his court and dignitaries and afterwards for all inhabitants of the capital city, Shushan.
On the seventh day, Ahasuerus orders the queen, Vashti, to come and display her beauty before the guests by wearing only her crown. She refuses. Furious, Ahasuerus has her removed from her position and makes arrangements to choose a new queen from a selection of beautiful young women from throughout the empire.
One of these is the Jewish orphan, Esther. After the death of her parents, she was fostered by her cousin, Mordecai. She finds favor in the King's eyes, and is crowned his new queen.
Ahasuerus appoints Haman as his viceroy. Mordecai, who sits at the palace gates, falls into Haman's disfavor, as he refuses to bow down to him. Having discovered that Mordecai is Jewish, Haman plans to kill not just Mordecai, but all the Jews in the empire.
As the story unfolds, Esther the Jewish orphan turned queen, used her place as queen to intercede with the King; her desperation made her, unleash power within, her and risk death, because it was against the law to present herself to the King unsummoned. This was punishable by death.
Her determination, desperation and dependence on God, saved the Jews of the Persian Empire, she, unleashed, the power within.

Bio

Dr. Donavan Outten is a powerful trainer, consultant, educator and administrator with over 20 years' experience. He is the Associate Vice President of Academic Affairs at Webster University.
Dr. Outten is a published author of 2 books, one of which is our topic today. Unleash your inner greatness: A guide to overcoming obstacles and Tapping into the person God meant you to be.
Dr Outten writes books to inspire and motivate individuals to achieve greatness in their lives.
His research focuses on developing young African American Students in higher education. He has also produced seminars, lectures, classes, assessments and workshops throughout the United States and Caribbean.
Dr. Outten earned his Doctorate degree in Educational Leadership from Nova.
Southeastern University, his Masters in Human Resource Development & Administration from Barry University and Bachelors in Psychology from Bethune Cookman University.

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Unleashing the power within 

Question 1. I know that unleashing our, inner greatness, our, the power within, is your space. Can you tell our audience what does it mean to, Unleash our, Inner Greatness,” and a little of why you chose this topic as the subject of your book.

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iHeart Radio

Question 2. So what are some of the obstacles to unleashing, the power within?

Most children today are taught not to question authority, so they go about their lives always looking for someone to direct them and never focusing on their inner strength or, power within.

Question 3. Where does the power within, come from?

We are connected to source energy. If you take a droplet of water from the ocean, it has the same properties as the entire body of the ocean. Similarly we came from God or source, so we have the same powers. We just need to, unleash, the power within.

Question 4. How does an individual muster up enough strength to have such strong determination to finish a task or overcome a devastating life situation?

• Where do they find the courage to stand up for what they believe in or battle back from a medical condition that almost took their life?

• How does one leave a secure job to start a business that they are passionate about?

• What is the secret to obtaining determination and maintaining it over a period of time?
• What kinds of people have it, and what is determination?

book Unleash your inner greatness
book Unleash your inner greatness

Determination unlocks your inner greatness

Dr Outten says, “In my heart, I truly believe that determination is having the will to move forward in spite of what obstacle, barrier, or difficulty you might be facing. It is looking adversity in the face and not backing down, but pushing forward with tenacity and unleash, the power within.

He feels that Self-determination starts on the inside. It is first a thought or a belief that you can or will succeed no matter the problem you have to face. You believe in yourself even when no one else does. That spells confidence, character, and courage.

Question 5. What are some other obstacles to unleashing our, inner greatness?

Resilience: The path toward nurturing a, resilient mindset, and lifestyle is a road
that should not be taken lightly. This path has many bumps, twists, turns, and potholes
and is never straightforward. The road often contains obstacles and detours
that interfere with reaching your destination.

Passion: Your passion does not usually appear overnight. It has been dwelling
inside you for a long time. As a child, what were you passionate about? As a
teenager, what were you passionate about? As a young adult, what were you
passionate about? Often times, you will identify a pattern in what you are
passionate about. It is up to you to identify what it is and go after it.
When turning your, passion into profit, you have to be careful and work smarter,
not harder. You will run into a lot of obstacles and need to face your fears, as
things probably won’t go as smoothly as you’d like them to go. It’s all a part of
the journey.

Destiny: Destiny can be referred to as a predetermined course of events. It may
be conceived as a predetermined future, whether in general or of an individual.
What you perceive your future to be will come to pass if you work for it, believe
in it, and live your life towards it.
What you have today does not reflect what you will obtain tomorrow. If you have
the capability of looking into your future and seeing what lies ahead, then all you
have to do is work towards your goal.
Walking towards your destiny is no easy task because you will have obstacles and
hurdles along the way. There will be road blocks that will make you think that
you are going down the wrong path, but you will need to have patience,
endurance, and faith. Your faith will play a big part in finding and fulfilling your
destiny; you will need to seek guidance from God and, unleash power within.

Question 6. I know that you work predominately with the African American youth. What advice would you give them on being determined and staying the course?
You have to better than good, you have to be great.
You have to work twice as hard for the same opportunity as your white counterparts.

If you find this content valuable, please share and subscribe to my iTunes by clicking the link below:
Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna

 

Additional Resources

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

 

 

 

How To Ditch the Good Girl Label

The, good girl, label is not about being morally good, the problem with being a, good girl, is that at the end of the day, it doesn't work. It doesn't work for anyone.  This isn't an anti-morality conversation; it's correcting our idea of what’s good and what’s right.

Download and listen to the full interview 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9553251-how-to-escape-the-good-girl-label.mp3?download=true

Sitting in the guest chair today on the Transform Your Mind Podcast, is Kasia Urbaniak. Kasia is the author ofUnbound: A woman's Guide to Power”. Today, we are going to be talking about “How to ditch the, good girl label”.

Bio

Since founding The Academy in 2013, Kasia has taught over 4000 women to radically increase their power, agency and influence. Using practical tools, Academy graduates transform their lives by breaking the yoke of ‘Good Girl’ conditioning. They step boldly into leadership roles within their relationships, families, workplaces, and wider communities.

They become adept in the art of verbal self-defense against bulldozing, bullying, and gaslighting. They make bold, life-changing asks of the people around them in a way that feels good to the person being asked. They can hear “no” without getting flustered or giving up, and use resistance as a way to build intimacy and partnership.

Introduction

Myrna: Kasia, let's start off by asking you what was your journey into founding the Academy, teaching women the foundations of power and influence? I read part of your bio that you were once a, dominatrix, I would love to hear about that.

Kasia: I found myself with an unusual set of training I explored various spiritual traditions and wanted to transcend this world. The one that spoke to me because it seemed the most practical and magical was, Taoism.

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I was a Dominatrix while pursuing monastic education

Now, while I was pursuing my training and pursuing monastic education, the ironic part was there was no way for me as a girl growing up in New York City to be able to afford such things without getting a job that would pay me a lot of money in short bursts. So, I was working as a professional, dominatrix, in dungeons in New York City and then flying off to meet with teachers to convince them to teach me all the way up to mountain tops in China.

This lasted for the greater part of a decade. This straddling, absolutely insane split personality education, where I felt guilty about one when I was doing the other.  What started happening was these extremes ended up merging when I started diagnosing people's bodies as a, Taoist, trainee.  I started going into deeper states of meditation and noticed that my training as a, dominatrix, allows me to notice the power dynamics , I started seeing similarities in my work as a, dominatrix.

I was paying attention to human beings and started to understand power dynamics the way you study martial arts.  I began to teach this power to women,   I do not teach as a, dominatrix, and I do not teach as a nun.

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Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

After this wildlife of extremes, of desiring absolute purity and devotion while going into these wildly psychologically strange, weird and interesting places with other humans, I started noticing that I was changing. I saw all my friends around me and all the people in my life (the women especially), living in a world of assumptions and superstitions.

Women are communicating with their bodies all the time

I started noticing that women didn't realize that they are physically broadcasting and communicating all the time. That their power magnetic. You could say more submissive, but it's not submissive at all

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The, good girl, label is not about being morally good, the problem with being a, good girl, is that at the end of the day, it doesn't work. It doesn't work for anyone.  This isn't an anti-morality conversation; it's correcting our idea of what’s good and what’s right.

Myrna: You had a lot of nuggets and you're very right. When your publicist approached me and she started off with the, dominatrix, thing, I pushed back right away until I read the full bio.  I understood what you were trying to say. You're giving women the power of choice.  Women can still be submissive and powerful, right?

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Are you a People-Pleaser or a good girl

Also, I know that being a people-pleaser and being a, good girl, doesn't get you anywhere, people walk all over you. We've got a saying in my country  if you lay down like a doormat, people are going to walk all over you”. So, I understand you help women break the yolk of the, good girl, conditioning. So, tell us why specifically the label of a, bad girl, is beneficial because I’m interested in hearing your spin.

Kasia:  Good girl, conditioning has a very long history and it comes from the agreement that we make not as spiritual and personal agreement, but an economic agreement of marriage. We have a deal and there's nothing wrong with even holding that deal today, but the deal is “I will let you lead, but you provide for meSo, up until very recently, a woman who had ambition, opinion, a vision and desires couldn't express it as an individual. The best she could do and the best way she could fulfill her ambitions was to marry. The behaviors around the, good girl, are the behaviors we're calling, good girl, conditioning.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

What is good girl conditioning

Such behaviors are basically the behaviors of how to be marriageable, how to attract and keep a good man, how to qualify to marry the most economically promising man – given that you can't have a job, you can't get educated, you can't read, and you're not allowed to leave the house (in some countries).

So, women learn I don’t want to be a burden.

  • How to be resourceful because if you're the economic provider, then I have to be able to make big things out of little things (be resourceful),
  • Be moderate in temperament,
  • Not be too attractive so as to not get competition, but not to be noticeably unattractive, not to stand out in this way or that way,
  • Women are not to have too much sexual desire, in fact not to have too much desire at all.

Actually, it's not just being accommodating, harmonious and warm, but also not having a voice essentially, they're from women who are like I‘m not a, good girl, I don't need anyone,  I‘m fine.

The modern day, people-pleaser, is an outgrowth of the, good girl. Why we call her an outgrowth like a sister of the, good girl, but she's still the same woman because even though she believes that she can have her desires, she has to go for what she wants by herself. She never asks anybody for help, she never burdens anybody, she does it all. She is the feminine and the masculine. She is the alpha female

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Most of the women who come to my school are like this because, they're very successful. They have families, they have careers and they have everything they want and they are exhausted and are furious; they have to do it all.

Myrna: it's like the superwoman syndrome.

Good Girls learn to say No

Kasia: The problem is that men hold all the cards. Women don't have the same experience as men because, men don't do it all the same way.  When they are in positions of leadership or have a career, they have support that the women in their same place do not have.

The issue with, good girl, conditioning is you can say “I‘m an, independent woman, I push back and I stand up for myself.  I have learnt how to say No. You can identify with someone who doesn't have, good girl conditioning, but the truth is the conditioning comes out so quickly that we barely catch it.  

We're programmed and it's in our subconscious and that is why I founded the Academy with my partner Reuben.  

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Bad girls learn to ask for what they want

Myrna: Why do you say specifically that the, bad girl, label  is good? How do you transform them from being a, good girl, to a, bad girl? What does, bad girl, really mean?

Kasia: Okay. We got three things, bad girl, is the first. The first of the three and the other two are really important elements of the, bad girl. So, the first is a really simple exercise and I want to set up the context of this exercise. Bad girls learn to ask for what they want. 

I have the women that I work with this exercise which ends up being more difficult than it sounds. The intention is to write  all the things you feel make you a, bad girl,  onto paper.  What we want to do is start opening Pandora’s Box in the safest way possible.

We start with a sentence completion, its part of a sentence you fill in the blank and you repeat it, You write “if I were a, bad girl. I would do ,,,,,,,,,,,”

We use, bad girl, specifically because it brings you back to that younger age where you start learning what you're supposed to like,  not like,  what you're supposed to think etc. 

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I'm Janelle an ICF-credentialed Life Coach with a niche in Relationship Coaching and the host The Successful Invisible podcast.

This podcast is about solving problems or rather helping listeners become more self-aware so they can solve their own problems.

My podcast is for adults (targeting professional women who are 35+) who have a desire to date with more self-awareness and intentionality.

I'm going through the very processes around dating that I'm talking about on my show. I'm not out of touch or unfamiliar with the challenges of dating in modern times. I GET how hard it is to effectively date (especially as a woman who has her own stuff) and is not the negative stereotype that's off portrayed in media about women in my age bracket.

If this podcast resonates with you book a free Discovery Call with Janelle.

Download and listen on

https://anchor.fm/thesuccessfulinvisible

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Clear out the bad girl closet

The purpose of writing all these terrible things is that, the things we didn't even know we put in the, bad girl, closet start coming out. When I explain part two and three, it's going to become even more apparent how this works so you start opening the, bad girl, closet.

Myrna: I‘m sure a lot of it is around sex and what, bad girls, do and what, good girls, do not do.

Kasia: Some have ideas and desires of sexual liberation and some have ideas of standing up for themselves.  Some feel that anger is bad, that, good girls, do not get angry.  Good girls,  is part of the submissive conditioning or why, good girls, don’t get angry.

The, good girl conditioning, doesn’t even let you become aware that your man is disrespecting you when he calls you names. Maybe he just treats you like a maid and then one day you wake up and start thinking; this is disrespect.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

 What is bulldozing in a relationship?

When you tell The Bulldozer, explicitly or implicitly, to back off, they come on even stronger. When you tell The Bulldozer your needs, they will do exactly the opposite. That's why they're called The Bulldozer. Because they trample all over your boundaries.

How good girls get respect

Kasia: If you want respect, you never ever say I want you to respect me! That's communicating there's something wrong with you

The moment you are voicing a complaint, you are creating an atmosphere of defense. We don't want to be in defense mode, we obviously want to be in offense, mode. 

Myrna: So, how does someone do it, how do we state our desires in offensive mode?

Kasia: The moment you ask them to do something specific, the power dynamic has changed. The issue with women is that their energy is too inward: 

  • I‘m hurting,
  • I'm complaining,
  • I don't like this,
  • This is a problem,
  • Look what you're doing to me,
  • I am the victim,
  • I have no power,
  • You have to fix it,
  • It's all your fault,
  • You don't respect me etc.

The moment you start directing their actions, making those requests that would resonate with you as respect, you are in the dominant position.  The moment you start making them in control of your happiness and telling them they're doing a bad job, you are in defense mode. 

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Is there such a thing as a High Maintenance Woman

Myrna: I heard this a lot that men say, “Oh, she's too, high maintenance, but you're also saying there's no such thing  as a, low maintenance, woman just  women who are not bold enough to ask for what they want.

Kasia: So, high maintenance, is a fad. No woman is, low maintenance, but when men complain about women being, high maintenance, what they're actually saying is not you are too much work.  What they're saying is I never got the instruction manual on how to treat you as a woman.

Men  just got used to ignoring and tolerating the complaints of women, because they never really understood what makes them happy. Women weren't asking for the things that would actually light them up, give them orgasms, make them feel supported and empowered. What men got was a bunch of vague things.

You find a man who's getting specific instructions for the first time; he's like a little boy in a candy store like yes, what can I do next? He feels competent and takes care of his women like he takes care of his car!

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

A woman's guide to power

Unbound: A Woman's guide to power
Unbound: A Woman's guide to power

Myrna: Tell us about your book, it's called Unbound: A Woman's Guide to Power.

Kasia: The book is a step-by-step training manual. It definitely talks about how to ask and how to get off the spot when you're being bullied and bulldozed. There's a lot of how-to stuff there also. I teach women how to create allies out of all the men in their lives. The book is also a journey through how to get all of the support that you need from the people in your life to make your actual dreams and desires come true.

Not the ones that you think are attainable and not the ones that you think are socially acceptable. A huge part of the book is breaking the, good girl conditioning.

Myrna: How can those listening and watching in TV connect with you? How can they get a copy of your book and get your get information about your Academy?

Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV

Kasia: The easiest way to find out more is to go to the website www.weteachpower.com.

We have an announcement on the site of all our classes. Also, there are tons of free resources and videos and things that the interested listeners, viewers and readers can engage with. The book is available everywhere books are sold. Penguin Random house published it and there's my Ted talk that I delivered to 10,000 people live as well.

Myrna: Thank you for being so in-depth about understanding the mindset of women and the mindset of the power. What is your social media handle?

Kasia: @realkasiaUrbaniak on Instagram.

Conclusion

Please remember to subscribe to the podcast on iTuneswe would love for you to rate and post a review so that we can get these fantastic guests out to wider audience.

Thanks for tuning in and until next time, blessings.

Additional Resources

How to Embrace Female Sexuality and the Divine Feminine

Surviving R. Kelly: The Mindset Of A Sexual Predator

How can women use their intuitive gifts to understand the mindset of the, sexual predator, like, R Kelly? We check the boxes to understand why, sexual predators, seek out and choose certain women.

In this episode of the, Transform your Mind, personal development podcast, I interview Intuitive and spiritual coach Nicole Leffer

 

Surviving r Kelly Sexual Predator

The Lifetime series, Surviving r Kelly, and the follow up Dateline episode, show a rich and famous, R Kelly, feeding his sex machine with women of all ages. His preference seemed to be teenage girls as young as 12 years old; but women in their 30's had the same experience.  One said that she did unspeakable things in a Black room, was starved, had to ask before she went to the bathroom, was physically abused, and had to call, r Kelly,  Daddy.

So in this interview, Nicole and  I  explore the mindset of  a, sexual predator,  and how women of all ages can use their intuition to escape the lair of a, sexual  predator.

 Have you ever gotten a reading on the, mindset sexual predator,?

Nicole since you are an intuitive and there's been a lot of readings,  have you ever gotten a reading on a, sexual predator?  What is going on in the mindset of a, sexual predator,?

 I've never done a reading where I sat like I sat down and read a, sexual predator.  I don't think that somebody in that space would allow that. I have had a couple of times the in readings for other people who was a victim of a, predator.   What I  picked up was a lot of assurance that it was not their fault. Something about them triggered the mindset of the, sexual predator.  Something from their childhood or from their past that they were tormented and deeply tortured about, attracted the, sexual predator, so they became the target. 

This is also the Law of Attraction concept.  The energy that you are putting out attracts, sexual predators. They can read you. If you have a lot of insecurities within yourself, a, predator, can pick up on your insecurities and that they have the opportunity to come in and fill that void.  

You become vulnerable if you view yourself as not enough and the, sexual predator, can sniff that out. 

The other factor that has come through in my, intuitive readings,  is that the, sexual predator,  is also trying to fill some need in themselves. They have learned that preying on the innocent, dulls the pain inside themselves and gives them the sense of power and control over their victims. Whatever it is they're trying to get through or over, they're using this behavior as their outlet for that.  It is not a healthy behavior by any means,  but it's  similar to how people use drugs or they'll use alcohol or they'll use sex or they'll use a million different things.  It's like somehow somewhere along the way,  this person has learned that this is a solution to their pain, their torment, their torture and the wires get crossed in their brains and this is what happens.

How do we use our Intuition to understand, the mindset sexual predator,? 

We do have an, intuition, in ourselves to be able to prevent this from happening to us. Not 100 percent of the time, but as humans we are able to pick up the warning signs and cues, if we are paying attention.  

One of the victims in the, Surviving Robert R Kelly, interview said just that.  She said that, sexual predators, look for the, weak minded woman,.  They usually go for the young, like teenagers because they are, weak minded women,  but if they find you are weak minded as an adult, then you become a victim as well.  She was one of the women in her 30's who was a victim.  So if you are a, weak minded woman, then you are not using your, intuition, instead, you are looking for this person to fill the void in your life, and in, the mindset of a, sexual predator, they are more than happy to accommodate.

Listen to the rest on this interview on audio to understand how your feeling of not being enough activates the, sexual predator, to target you.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

https://tunein.com/podcasts/Motivational/Transform-your-Mind-with-Coach-Myrna-p1102799/

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

https://myhelps.us/protecting-your-child-from-sexual-abuse-at-home/

How Women Get a Seat at the Table

Women are you invisible in the boardroom and have no say? Do men listen when you speak? If the answer is no, then find out how to get, a seat at the table.

In this episode I interview Kimberley Bussey Lewis, Author of , A Seat At The Table, Or Part Of The Meal: Creating A Culture Of Diversity

How did you come to become passionate about, diversity and inclusion, for, women of color?

How to Get a Seat at The Table

I first really started thinking about, a seat at the table,  when I was a very young reporter in Charleston, South Carolina.  I was the only female reporter at the time within this 600 person company.  And what I was struck by is that there were so many decisions that were being made that we would complain about; but none of us had, a seat at the table, to help make those decisions.

I realized that if I didn't have a place in the room that I was both invisible and silent; so it didn't matter how much I complained or how much I didn't like what was going on or simply just didn't understand it because I was not part of the discussion; I needed, a seat at the table.

So that's where my passion for, diversity and inclusion, was born.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

CNN wrote a column on getting, a seat at the table, for women. They were discussing congresswoman Harris, basically what they're saying was that women are invisible and they have no say.  When they speak no one listens.  So I understand what you are saying.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What happens when there is no seat at the table

I stayed in that company as a reporter without, a seat at the table, about 12 years.  It took me that long to get that awakening.  Sometimes we think that we are fortunate to have a job so we don't want to stir the pot.  I just increasingly became more and more of a little rebel challenging the status quo. Eventually I left  and ventured out to write my first book.   I was scared to death.  Because here I am I'm going to write a book, I'm going to leave my job.  I took a leave of absence to write the book;  but it was really a step of faith and in writing the book and doing the research.

I became energized when I interviewed older relatives, my mother and great-aunt who were already in their 80s and 90s at the time. I  became energized by their tenacity as, Black women. I knew that we had a lot of strong men in my family, but my eyes are really flew open at the strength of the, black women, and how they held businesses up,  they held a family up and the men of the family up, and brought us all together.

I stumbled into the nonprofit arena by my volunteer work. I was volunteering and working on writing the  book and one thing led to another.  I got to a small job at an organization that was run by a, black woman, who became my mentor.  She took me under her wing and even though I was  just volunteering she taught me so much about strength and tenacity and making your voice count.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Diversity and Inclusion for Women of Color

Her company was called Family Assistance Management Services

And she was the first black female insurance broker in SC. She had been a full time teacher before she built quite a nest egg with her husband. They owned several pieces of property in Charleston SC. She then became a broker and started several businesses, an insurance company, a computer training clinic all kinds of other businesses, because she had a passion for helping people.

You got your feet wet on the nonprofit arena and but it sounds like you have, a seat at the table, at Goodwill Industries. Why you write the book, “A Seat at the Table or a part of the meal?”

I was born in September 1964 a month after the discrimination Act, and my parents had not long moved to Charleston, SC. All of my siblings, I  have one brother and two sisters, they had all been born at home in the country by a midwife so since it was now illegal for place public places to discriminate my father thought, well I will take my wife to this nice Hospital for my fourth child to be born.  So my mother was in labor he rushes her down to this hospital the Medical University of South Carolina and by this time she'd begun to hemorrhage as I was a breech baby.

It was pouring down rain and he got my mom into the emergency area into the lobby and he started screaming for the doctors to come and help they turned looked at them and turned their backs right away.  All the white doctors and nurses ignored them, so he ran up to them and screamed my wife is bleeding you got to help her and someone told him to just sit down we'll get to you.

So he scooped her up, put her in a wheelchair and ran with her down the street to the black Hospital. McLennan banks Hospital in the pouring rain with my mom gripping for life on that wheelchair.  He pushed her up into the emergency area and as soon as they saw that she was drenched in blood they rushed her into the emergency room and delivered me.  The doctor who delivered me was a, woman of color, from  South Africa and he named me Kimberly after the Kimberly diamond mines.

Black Women are born to be at the table

It sounds like you were born in to do this work!

I was tried of being the only, Black woman, in the room. I felt we as, Black women, have to do something to get , a seat at the table. If anyone was going to wave that flag of, diversity and inclusion, equity and of, diversity, it should be Goodwill Industries. So it really began then.  We started a task force with a group of CEOs and started to study, diversity and inclusion, and equity programs with fortune 500 companies and fortune 100 companies and other nonprofit organizations. We studied who was doing it well, what were they looking at, what were the metrics and how do you build that diverse pipeline.  We came up an implementation plan.

We were really intentional about attracting, maintaining and keeping a, diversity, workforce.  Whether it is individuals who are Hispanic or individuals who African-American or LGTBQ or disabled.  We recognize that all of that build a table of, diversity.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

The first time that I heard the phrase, a seat at the table, was from one of my coaching clients and I've heard it several times since. I heard Gabrielle Union say it that she's just gonna make her own table because you know the black actresses in Hollywood are still working to, get a seat at the table.  They go through the same discrimination with, diversity and inclusion.  It's not just in Corporate America or in the board rooms.

Women of Color getting a seat at the table

Kimberly you have, a seat at the table,  what advice would you give to women who are hitting the glass ceiling and get, no seat at the table.

African-American women unfortunately have been absent from the room!  We have not even been invited into the room much less have, a seat at the table, for quite some time.  Women in general have been hitting the glass ceiling for quite a long time.  I've heard that men are hired based on what their hiring manager or that supervisor thinks that they can do while women are hired or promoted based on performance.  it is that way because the majority of the, seats at the table, are already held by men.  Predominantly white males and they look for men who look like act like they came from where they come from.

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Black women in order to get, a seat at the table,  have to do 3 things:

  1. They have to network. It’s all about relationships. Else there is, no seat at the table. Everything that you do is about relationships and it's about networking.  If you didn't grow up playing golf, learn.  Go around places and do things that make you feel uncomfortable. But you must be part of the conversation. Go to the theater,  go to the Opera, you could serve as an usher and get free tickets.
  2. Get a mentor – All women should have a mentor.
  3. Get a Sponsor – a sponsor and a mentor are two different people. A mentor is someone that you can talk to about your fears and your aspirations. A mentor can give you sound advice and can talk you through some of the issues that you're having and help you create a plan a plan of attack.

A sponsor on the other hand is going to be that person who's going to make sure that you're invited to that meeting.  They're going to take you under their wing.  They're going to make sure that there's a place for you in the conversation and that there is, diversity and inclusion, that you are a part of the discussion. Sponsors are usually white males.

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Book: Seat at the table

Have you ever wished that you had the information to elevate the conversation at work on how to build a culture of diversity, equity and inclusion?  Well, now you do; with my newly published book A Seat At The Table or Part of the Meal, by Kimberly Bussey Lewis.  This book will give you examples of intentional efforts that will level the playing field and yield dividends for your career and your company. The book can be found on Amazon – A Seat at the Table Or Part of the Meal, by Kimberly Bussey Lewis or on www.motivationalmuse.com, so get your copy today and your seat at the table.

 

Additional Resources, A Seat at the Table

https://myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

How to Ask for a Raise or Anything you Want in Life.

https://myhelps.us/what-are-the-secrets-to-success-my-10-secrets/

https://www.demos.org/research/taking-our-seat-table-black-women-overcoming-social-exclusion-politics#Black-Women%E2%80%99s-Leadership:-Making-a-Way-out-of-No-Way

https://www.talentintelligence.com/blog/bid/377611/inclusion-and-the-benefits-of-diversity-in-the-workplace

 

The Events in Life Work Together for Your Good

The bible promises in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” That means that every challenge, trauma, disappointment, in life,  works together, for your good.

In “Out of the Snares” the book, I introduce my book with these words:

The greatest gift we can give others is hope. Somewhere out there someone is going through a storm of great magnitude; the pain is so great that they are considering suicide.

The purpose of this book “Out of the Snares,” is to give such a person, Hope. Hope that God promises “all things, in life, work together, for your good.”

Hope, that like the caterpillar that goes through the darkness before turning into a butterfly, your storm is designed to make you stronger, to cook you into a diamond so that God can use you to encourage others.

The darkness in life is meant to show you the way

As you come out of darkness and into God's light, you become self-sufficient and proactive instead of reactive. Think about it. Just as the caterpillar does not know, when he is a caterpillar he will ultimately become a butterfly; when you are in your darkness, you don't believe this you will ever see the light. “Out of the Snares” is written to remind you that the darkest part of the night is just before dawn. Joy does indeed come in the morning.

You have to walk by,  faith. Faith,  is defined as “the ability to trust the outcome of a thing even though you can't see it.” I am the evidence. God has brought me from a mighty long way. I have achieved every goal that I set for myself and I am working on the next goal right now. Every event in my life, worked together, for my good.

In this book “Out of the Snares” I share with you, my readers, the principles of the Bible and the Universal Laws or Truths that I stood on to win. Order your copy today.http://myhelps.us/book-order/

Events in life work for your good Joseph's story

The principle of God working all things together for good is well illustrated in the Old Testament account of Joseph’s life. Early in Joseph’s life, Joseph’s jealous brothers sold him into slavery. In Egypt, Joseph rises to a position of responsibility. Then, he is unjustly imprisoned and forgotten about by his friends. God gifts him the ability to interpret dreams, and through that ability Joseph is once again raised to a place of honor and power. When drought forces Joseph’s brothers to seek food elsewhere, they travel to Egypt and encounter Joseph, who eventually saves them from starvation and grants them a livelihood in his new land.

Throughout his life, Joseph trusted God no matter his good or bad circumstances. Joseph experienced plenty of bad things: kidnapping, slavery, false accusations, wrongful imprisonment, rejection, and famine. But in the end God brought things to a wonderful, life-affirming conclusion. God blessed Joseph’s entire family through those painful circumstances and through Joseph’s faith. (You can read about Joseph’s life beginning in Genesis 37.)

Romans 8:28 is a promise for believers. Real believers. Those who are living for Christ. Not those who claim to believe in God but are living like the devil.

This verse says to those who love God and are doing their best to obey his commands, “Even though bad/sad/evil/wicked things will happen to you, in life,  God will use them to, work together, for your good, both, in your life, and in the world.”

Additional Resources

Nothing is Impossible: How to Turn Life's Challenges Into Opportunity

Do You Have A Child Sexual Abuse Story? Break the Silence

What does, child sexual abuse, look like? It is the face of innocence interrupted.
Millions of children are victims of, sexual abuse, every year from people they trust. Fathers, brothers, uncles, family friends, their mothers boyfriends…the list goes on.

The, BTS documentary,  is shining a light on this issue with their documentary, “Breaking the Silence.”

This documentary, “Breaking the Silence,” aired on the TLC network. This one-hour special featured interviews with people and children impacted by, sexual abuse, including two members of RAINN’s Speakers Bureau, survivors Ter-rae Lee and David Moody, as well as survivor-advocate Erin Merryn, the force behind Erin's Law.

Child Sexual Abuse Cheryl Burke

One of the speakers on the program was Cheryl Burke of Dancing with the Stars fame. Cheryl shared her, child sexual abuse, story. She was a victim of, sexual abuse,  by her kinder-garden school teacher at the tender age of 6 years. She shares how that experience has shaped her life and defined her subsequent choice in lovers.

Burke, 31, said the, sexual abuse, started when she was in kindergarten. She didn't name anyone specifically, but said, “He would make me watch pornographic videos. He was kind of like that fatherly figure – I think he knew my weakness, that I was very insecure.

Burke, 31, said her parents had divorced and her father had moved away, so this man was tasked with watching her and took advantage.

“I couldn't speak up for myself. It was hard for me to say no. In a weird way, it was like I didn't want to hurt him,” the native Californian added.

The dancing star eventually had to testify against the man when she was 6, she said.

Facing your Abuser

“My mom was there holding my hand, I was shaking and there was my molester right in front of me. It was so terrifying to see him face to face. I remember taking a lot of breaks because I would just break down,” she said, adding it was dance that brought her back.

Some other famous, child sexual abuse,  survivors were Oprah Winfrey and Dr Maya Angelou. All three of these women overcame their childhood obstacles and went on to live remarkable lives, but some are not so fortunate. In my book “Out of the Snares, A story of hope and encouragement” I share my, child sexual abuse,  story and give my readers 10 life principles on how to not only overcome your childhood story; but how to succeed in spite of it.

Oprah's Child Sexual Abuse story

The media mogul Oprah Winfrey recounted her own experiences with, sexual abuse, which included being raped at the age of nine.

“Anybody who has been verbally abused or, physically abused,  will spend a great deal of their life rebuilding their self esteem,” Winfrey said in front of 3,000 students.

She recounted being physically beaten as a child, saying it was a cultural experience many African- American children went through. She also said was raped and molested.

Winfrey talked about some of the positive aspects of her life: How she learned to read before she was three, how she wished to be Diana Ross, and how she skipped school because she wrote a note to her teacher.

Description of her happy times didn’t last, though.

“I grew up in an environment where children were seen and not heard,” she said.

“I was beaten regularly.”

One such beating, she said, stuck out in vividly in her mind.

“I went to a well to get some water and carry it in a bucket. And I was playing in the water with my fingers, and my grandmother had seen me out the window and she didn’t like it.

“She whipped me so badly that I had welts on my back and the welts would bleed. And then when I put on my Sunday dress, I was bleeding from the welts. And then she was very upset with me because I got blood on the dress.

“So then I got another whipping for getting blood on the dress.”

 

 

Here are the 10 Biblical and Universal Laws that can help readers rewrite their story of Child Sexual Abuse

1. Keep Your Vision in Front of you – Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of vision casting.
2. The events in your life whether good or bad, work together for good. Your, child sexual abuse, was your teachable moment. God said I know your expected end. Stay the course; don't give up until you win.
3. Let the Universal Laws of Attraction, the Laws of Intention work for you – Ask and it will be given unto you.
4. Have a Positive Mind-set – Take control of your thoughts and attitudes. Get rid of ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts) from your, sexual abuse.
5. Use what you have in your hand- You were created with a purpose; God gave you the skills and talents you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.
6. Be intentional about your Growth- Be proactive, be intentional, build on your gifts, and continually improve.
7. If you build it, they will come. Be a servant first.
8. Find your Passion – it is the Fire in your belly. Become conscious of what lights you up. God put that Fire in your belly as a beacon to achieve your purpose. You can achieve your purpose in spite of your, child sexual abuse.
9. Love – it is what makes this Human experience worthwhile. Love yourself first. Love is spirit, God is spirit.
10. Business Consciousness – how to create a startup company and succeed in marketing.

Additional Resources

Surviving R. Kelly: The Mindset Of A Sexual Predator

What is the Connection between Sexual Abuse and Addiction?

 

 

How to Shine Like a Diamond with Clarity and Value

 

Diamonds, are created far below the earth's surface from immense pressure and heat. Diamonds, are the most indestructible element.

How does finding your purpose compare to mining for, diamonds?

We come into this world from pressure. But we come into this world as coal in the rough says Marlene Bryan.  Similarly to the, diamond, we need, diamond cutters to shape us. Our, diamond cutters, are our parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, relationships,

They cut and shape us either to shine like a, Diamond, or stay as coal! Have you found your purpose?  My guest today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast is Marlene M Bryan, inspirational speaker, author, business coach and President of Small Biz Evolution. Marlene is going to teach us

What is your purpose: Do you remember the day you asked:

  • “Why am I here?”
  • “Why was I born?”
  • “Why don’t I know my purpose?”
  • And the best of all: “Why me?”

It’s okay to ask the question why? Yet some people get hung up on the “why” and never move forward or take action to put what they have learned into action.

How to Shine Like a Diamond Rihanna

Shine like a diamond, shine like a star
Higher than the moon
and brighter than the sun
It's like a dream, it's so amazing
My heart is beating fast
I feel so fabulous
Take a chance and fly with me
It's a Fairy world
Close your eyes and you'll be there

Becoming a diamond by your thoughts

From the book “As a man Thinketh” by James Allen on the topic “Thoughts and Purpose”

Until thought is linked with purpose, there is no intelligent accomplishment.
Those who have no central purpose in life, fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubles, and self-pitying; all which lead to failure, unhappiness, and loss.

For weakness cannot persist in a power-evolving universe.

A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart, and set out to accomplish it by shining like a, diamond.  He should make this purpose the centralizing point of his thoughts. He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings.

Purpose to Become a Diamond

Even if you fail again and again to accomplish your purpose (and you must until weakness is overcome), the strength of character gained will be the measure of your true success, and this will form a new starting point for future power and triumph.

Those who are not prepared for the apprehension of a great purpose, should fix their thoughts upon the faultless performance of their duty, no matter how insignificant their task may appear.

The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth- that strength can only be developed by effort and practice- will, thus believing at once begin to exert itself adding effort to effort, patience to patience, strength to strength will at last grow divinely strong.

Only by searching and mining are, gold and diamonds, obtained, and man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mines of his soul!

Diamonds are created far below the earth's surface from immense pressure and heat.
Diamonds are the most indestructible element.
How does finding your purpose compare to, mining for diamonds?
We come into this world from pressure. But we come into this world as coal in the rough says Marlene Bryan.
Similarly to the, diamond, we need, diamond cutters, to shape us. Our diamond cutters are our parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, relationships,
They cut and shape us either to shine like a Diamond or stay as coal!

How do you find your purpose with the 4 C's

Your purpose can come from a place of pain or from something you love.
If you can't figure it out, get the help of your, diamond cutters!
Ask them what you do well or what your talents are.
Pain is an energy much like anger that moves us out of our comfort zone into our purpose.

What are the 4 C's of a, diamond, and how does becoming a Diamond Help us Find our Purpose?

  • CUT: The cut of the diamond determines its value. The diamond cutters in our life determine our brilliance.
  • COLOR: Color in a diamond is a flaw; but now the pink and yellow diamonds are more desirable than colorless diamonds.
    Similarly, what we consider flawed about ourselves could be our most valuable quality.
  • CLARITY: The transparency of the diamond also determines its value.
    We must also be transparent. You must know who you are and stay true to your values.
  • CARAT: The bigger the carat, the more the presumed value but a smaller diamond with all the above attributes could be more valuable.
    We should help other become greater or bigger by giving them a hand up.

Is your purpose to become a Life coach?

Then subscribe, rate and review this podcast and I will send you my FREE EBook

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Additional Resources 

https://myhelps.us/how-to-awaken-to-your-souls-purpose/

Nothing is Impossible: How to Turn Life’s Challenges Into Opportunity

Nothing is impossible, If you believe. How to turn life's challenges into opportunities of self-discovery and personal success.

Todays' guest on the Mindset Transformation Radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, is Dr. Sheila D. Williams. Dr Williams is the author of “My Mother's Keeper

https://twitter.com/drsdwilliams

Nothing is impossible, always finish the race, don't be a quitter.

Come all the way through!
Don't stop in the middle, don't turn back!
Just finish the race.
Look at life like a long distance swim trip.

When you start out you have no idea what you are going to meet up with.
You can't predict the weather, the waves, or any other hazards and obstacles on your journey.
You have to make up in your mind, that you will Come all the way through, nothing is impossible.  That if you are able, you will finish the race.
If you get to the middle of the ocean and you run into a thunder storm for instance, you just can't stop.
Going back is just as perilous as going forward. You have to, believe in yourself. You must , believe.

That is exactly how life is, you can't predict the storms in life, you can't predict the challenges that you are going come up against.
You know that they will come. You have to decide up front to, believe in yourself.
You have to know for sure that, Nothing is Impossible, if you, believe.
God planted that goal or dream in you for a reason. You have something to give to mankind.

If you, believe, you will achieve!

You just have to keep moving forward, going back is death to your dreams, it should not be an option!

Show notes Nothing is Impossible 

Today's show discusses, mental illness, and how Dr. Williams cared for her mother as she suffered through clinical, depression.
Her purpose for writing this book is to shed light on this taboo topic and offer healing to her readers who may be going through something similar.
She decide to be very transparent on her mothers, clinical depression, and how she cared for her mother from the young age of 10.

Nothing is impossible, if you, believe. Listen to hear how Dr Sheila overcame her childhood story and succeed as a Mental Health Therapist/Counselor, a behavior Analyst, Published Author, Life Coach and Educational Director. She tells how she worked sometimes 4 jobs while caring for her terminally ill mother and still was able to earn her PH.D.

I know you've you have a really you know powerful story told in your first book My mother's Keeper.  What is the book about and what inspired you to write it.

Dr Sheila – My book is about my mother.  It is a very candid look into my life and me caring for my mother.  It took me about 40-plus years to be able to tell this story. I also tell my mother's story; it was a family secret. No one wanted to talk about my mother, mental illness and the fact that had, clinical depression.

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I felt for a very ashamed for a very long time in my life about my mother’s, mental illness, and depression so at the point when I decided to go ahead and be very candid and very transparent about my life it was for the purpose of healing. Not only for myself but for anyone else who have dealt with the stigma of, mental illness.

The stigma of  mental illness and clinical depression

I decided to write specifically about my mother and her, clinical depression, as a small child who had to care for her mom instead of the other way around.

People see the doctorate degree or the position that you hold with the company you work for, or you know they see your success in other things, but they don't realize behind the scenes, you had to tell yourself, nothing is impossible, to just get through the day.

You hear the phrase don't judge a book by its cover.  You see someone with the professional title and you see these accolades and all of the things that they've accomplished; but you have no idea of the struggle or the obstacles in which they've had to overcome to get to where they are.

So I wrote the book for numerous reasons:

  • To show that, nothing is impossible, if you, believe in yourself.
  • To show the effects on the family from, mental illness, and depression.
  • You can still accomplish whatever goal that you have in life regardless of your circumstances.

What was your motivation and how did you find the strength to push through?  Did you have a vision?

Dr Sheila – from a very young child maybe four or five six years old, I did not know that my mother had, clinical depression, I just knew she was a little bit different from other kids’ moms. My mother would not get out of bed for days on end. She would not open the blinds, just lay in bed in a dark room all day.

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Is it true that nothing is impossible?

Nothing is impossible,  This means that anything is possible. Dr Sheila did not have the nurture from her mom and dad.  When she became grown, she decided she wanted to become a doctor.  She worked 5 jobs to put herself through school because she did not want student loans.  Believe in the, impossible. However, just because something is possible does not mean that it is easy, or that it should be done at all. If you use this statement, you are probably referring to something which is very difficult to accomplish or labeled, impossible.

Connect with Coach Myrna on Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/MyhelpsInc/

Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/myhelps/

Twitter @ https://twitter.com/myrna_morris

web: www.myrnayounghelps.com

To download a copy of Coach Myrna's book “How to Mind your own business while working your day job”

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

http://myhelps.us/small-business-ebook/

Listen and Subscribe to my YouTube Channel.

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-mothers-abandonment/

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

 

How to use Sexual Energy to Transform Your Life

In every story of a successful man there has always been a woman he loved that helped him transmute his, sexual energy, to  achieve greatness.
That is because these men were able to transmute the, sexual energy, to create wealth and abundance.

Today's guest on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast is Ms Lorae Lauritch.
Lorae is a Sexological Body Worker and, Tantra, Facilitator and she is going to teach us how to use the energy of, sex.  We can use, sexual energy,  to create in your business and personal life.

But before we hear from Lorae I would like to share with you this bible story about, sex.

Tree of Life and Sex

In the, Garden of Eden, God made man in his own image, that is both male and female.
God is both the Alpha and the Omega
Then God decided to separate the man and the woman so he took a rib out of Adam and made the woman
He then told the man and the woman that they can partake of everything in the garden of Eden, except from the tree of knowledge.
The tree of knowledge represented the knowledge of, sex.
We know that Satan tempted the woman and told her that she surely would not die if she ate from the tree of knowledge.
And she didn't die physically; but Eve brought sin and pain to the earth by partaking of the tree of knowledge without the guidance of God.

God intended for the, sexual energy, of the couple to usher them into his presence. This, sexual energy, is the creative force in the Universe.
Masters and Saints have learnt how to transmute, sexual energy, to co-create abundance in their lives.

Sexual energy and God

Lorae Lauritch is going to teach how to use, sexual energy, to get into the presence of God and build also emotional ties with your partner.

Lorae is a sacred-sexuality educator who coaches men, women and couples to be “enlightened lovers.” Her method is to blend ancient holistic practices like, Tantra, and Taoism with the latest western medical and scientific discoveries in psychology, health, and, sex.  She does it in a way that’s practical, fun, and extraordinarily easy.

Lorae believes that when a couple comes together there is a reawakening of their, sexual energy, and their  connection with God.
But some of us are only conscious of the biology of, sex.
Some of us are using, sex, only  as a means to procreate or as control in  rape

In the Eastern Hemisphere monks practice celibacy so that they can transmute that, sexual energy, to get into the presence of God.
Masters who practices celibacy also learn to transmute  their, sexual energy.

In every story of a successful man there has always been a woman he loved that helped him transmute his, sexual energy, to  achieve greatness.
That is because these men were able to transmute the, sexual energy, to create wealth and abundance.

Napoleon Hill taught us how to do this in his best selling classic
“Think and Grow Rich”

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Tantra Sex and self pleasure

Lorae says that when she learned to self pleasure she became comfortable with talking about, sex.
She discovered that only about 70% of women can achieve orgasm through penetration; So she decided to study and become an expert on, sexuality.
Teaching women how to learn about their bodies and to get pleasure from sexual intercourse.

Sex, is more than biology it is how we come into contact with the Divine!

Lorae's teaches that sacred sexuality is playing on all the dimensions.
It is the spiritual, it is the physiological, it is the physical, it is the emotional.
Sacred sexuality, is coming into contact with your higher self.
If is used to deepen the relationship with your partner.
It is also called, Tantric sex.

Do you love Abraham Hicks? I do.
Abraham Hicks – Sexual energy, like all physical energy is an extension of Source energy

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How important is sexual energy in marital relationship?

  • It creates better health and longevity.
  • It relieves stress.
  • Sacred sex clears the energy.
  • It builds this energy called chi or Prana.
  • Our bodies gets drained during the day and sacred, sexual energy, is one way to rejuvenate the body's life source.
  • It is a healing energy.

What is Tantra ?

The, tantra, orgasm is the ability to tap into the body's energy and have it link up to longer orgasmic states.
It is a build up of, sexual energy, and comes in waves throughout the body. It is an explosion from head to toe. It is not concentrated on the genitalia.
Once there is saturation of, sexual energy, in the physical state it can be shared with your partner as you tap into their energy field to become one energy field.

One way to achieve this state is to take a charging breath.
Breathe in like you are taking in a drink through a straw.
Breathe out with sound.

Breathing exercise
Tantra,  breathing is an indirect way to turn on your partner through sound and, sexual energy, exchange.

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Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/tantric-sex-using-tantra-energy-during-sex/

 

The Power and Purpose of Journalling

 

Journalling, can help women experiencing problems who are feeling stuck to form solutions by writing their down. My guest today is Margaret Elizabeth Hulse, a novelist who uses her fine art and jewelry designs to illustrate her, journalling, stories. Margaret writes stories with her body, mind, spirit that she says exist in the beauty of Texas, the Caribbean, and New Orleans.

Journalling, can be inspired to transcend from the monotony of day to day, obligatory tasks and into a life life filled with passion and purpose from the power and purpose of, journalling. She says “I write relatable, yet sensual, passionate stories that take my readers on new adventures and create custom jewelry so that the wearer has something unique to set her apart from the typical, ‘go-to’ designs. I evoke an excitement that people feel they haven’t been able to tap into for a while, whether it’s because they’ve been hurt, or have simply lost themselves as they’ve tried to make ends meet.”

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How to Start Journaling

Margaret feels that through, journalling, she learned how to manifest her dream work through writing her way out of a trauma. Her first published journal simply titled, “Sketchbook,” is an illustrated short story that serves as a preamble to her novel, Sketches from the Heart of a Texas Artist. I write and speak often about the power of healing through creativity and how the more you write about something, the more likely it is to come to fruition.

On a personal note on, how to start journalling, I have always journaled to download and to write down my goals and dreams. The power and purpose for my, journalling, for me has been manifested in my life over and over.

There are 3 ways to attract anything into your life. First you think it in your mind, then you speak it into the atmosphere, then you write it down to give it form!

Journalling, can also help you out of a bad mood.
You Can Write Your Way Out of an Emotional Funk. Here’s How.

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A, journalling, story:

James Pennebaker, a distinguished professor at the University of Texas, got married right out of college in the early ‘70s. Three years after his marriage, he and his wife started to question their relationship, and Pennebaker, confused and unsettled, sank into a depression. He ate less, drank more, and started smoking. Embarrassed by what he saw as emotional weakness, he became more and more isolated.

One morning about a month into this decline, Pennebaker climbed out of bed and sat down at a typewriter. He stared at the machine for a moment, then started writing freely and frankly about his marriage, his parents, his sexuality, his career, and even death.

As he wrote, and continued to write in the days that followed, something fascinating happened. His depression lifted and he felt liberated. He began to reconnect with his deep love for his wife. But the writing had an even farther-reaching impact. For the first time, he started to see the purpose and possibilities in his life.

Pennebaker’s own experience with, journalling, helped him get through this rocky period sparked 40 years of research about the links between writing and emotional processing. Over and over again Pennebaker did studies in which he divided people into two groups and asked some to, journal,  about emotionally significant experiences, and the others to write about common things: their shoes, or maybe the cars passing on the street. Both groups wrote for the same span—about 20-minutes a day, three days in a row.

In each study, Pennebaker found that the people who wrote about emotionally charged episodes experienced marked improvement in their physical and mental well-being. They were happier, less depressed and less anxious. In the months after the, journalling,  sessions, they had lower blood pressure, improved immune function, and fewer visits to the doctor. They also reported better relationships, improved memory, and more success at work.

How to become a Life coach

Is your purpose in life to help others achieve fulfillment in theirs?

Then maybe becoming a Life Coach is the career for you.

Email me at [email protected] for your FREE copy of my eBook “How to become a Life coach”

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How to Heal Your Brokenness

How to Overcome Fear and Find Joy

Fear, is an, energy, and thoughts are the most powerful, energy,  force in the universe.  Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of, negative thoughts, is, fear. It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
If you allow, fear, to linger in your body and in your mind, It will not only attract the thing you, fear, the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to, negative thoughts, or, fear. Negative thoughts, transform your body into an acidic state.

Fear, is a, negative thought, magnified to the 1000th degree.

In, fear,  mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell!
Unfortunately, your brain cannot detect the difference between your imagination and reality, so the person in the grip of fear cannot tell the difference. They cannot tell that, fear, it is “False Evidence Appearing Real.”

Using Positive Energy to banish Fear

Today I want to teach you how to use, positive energy, to clear the, negative energy, of, fear. But first I want to review one of the Spiritual Laws of the Universe.

The Law of Sowing and Reaping

We all know of the physical laws like, Gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are Spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the spiritual “Law of Sowing and reaping” can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world of your thoughts will manifest in the physical world.

Put another way, that means whatever you plant in the fertile soil of your mind, will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree. Except that in the spiritual world;

The soil is your mind, The seeds are your thoughts,
The water are your actions,
And The sun is your feelings.

If you allow, fear, to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.

Energy flows where Attention Goes

Whatever you focus on expands.

Fear is Negative Energy

Everything is, energy, and all, energy, attracts similar energies.
You can't put out, negative energy, and expect positive results.
You can't plant apple trees and expect oranges.

Likewise, you can't focus on what you, fear, and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you, fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal Law of Reaping and Sowing, it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind

“You become what you think about”

When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.

How to overcome fear

Exercise: How to overcome fear, write down something that is opposite of what you, fear, and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your, fear.
Since light conquers darkness, it will eventually have your, fear, for lunch!

  • Imagine you having fun traveling the world in crystal clear clarity.
  • Say daily affirmations that compliments your desire.
  • Visualize your goal so much that sometimes you are not sure what is imagined and what is reality;
  • the same way that you let fear take you out of reality.
  • Don't get disappointed if it takes time to perfect this. Remember that positive things take time to manifest,
  • it is the negative ones that show up quickly.

Weeds will sprout up, negative thoughts, of failure will sprout up.
So, every morning find the weeds and dig them up.

Remember a successful gardener will always cultivate his land.

Cultivate your mind for success.
Life is energy, whatever you put out, is returned to you.
The mind does not care what seeds you plant; it will always return what you plant.
You can plant wealth or you can plant poverty.
You can plant fear or you can plant happiness.

Here is an excerpt from the book: The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology:
The Buddha faced plenty of his own fear and terror of imminent death. This is a passage from the Buddha’s early writings that Jack Kornfield, a teacher who helped introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West, quotes in his book.

How would it be if in the dark of the month, with no moon, I were to enter the most strange and frightening places, near tombs and in the thick of the forest, that I might come to understand fear and terror. And doing so, a wild animal would approach or the wind rustle the leaves and I would think, “Perhaps the fear and terror now comes.” And being resolved to dispel the hold of that fear and terror, I remained in whatever posture it arose, sitting or standing, walking or lying down. I did not change until I had faced that fear and terror in that very posture, until I was free of its hold upon me … And having this thought, I did so. By facing the, fear, and terror I became free.

Do not Fear: Definition of fear

Fear – False objects appearing real, as per the about passage, can be released by standing your ground. Our instinctive reaction to, fear, is to turn and run because as humans we are hard wired to run from pain and towards pleasure. But, as the Buddha teaches in the passage above if you stand and have the courage to not move, you become free you, let go of fear, and realize that your imagination is always worse than the reality.

Let me share a personal story on how I overcame, fear and, remove negative energy from home. 

When I first came to the United States of America, I came as a business owner. I did not have any of the benefits of a permanent resident. As my business was building, I decided to earn money as a sales person selling vacations. I was not authorized to work in the US, so I became very fearful of being found out and being deported. Every night I would dream that the immigration officials would come to my house and take me away in handcuffs. Sometimes I would dream that they would throw me in the back of the trunk.

One day, my pastor preached a sermon on, the fear factor. He said that God promises to carry your burdens, so give them to God. He said when you give your, fears, and heavy loads to God, you can't worry or take them back because that would mean that you don't have faith in God's promise to carry them. He asked the congregation to write our, fears, and heavy burdens on a piece of paper and ceremoniously throw them at the alter giving them to God. I wrote my, fear, of being deported on a piece of paper and threw in on the alter. In doing so, I, let go of fear, and became free because I gave it away to someone else, God. The good news is that I no longer was afraid of anything. Every time something came up that would potentially me fearful, I would face it and know that it will work out for my good. I stood on the scripture “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you.”

Meditation to Let go of Fear

Sit quietly in a chair, be comfortable.
Place feet flat on the floor, hands clasped in your lap. Close your eyes. Be present. Focus on your breathing, feel your belly rise and fall under your clasped hands.
Breathe in for a count of 4 and breathe out for account of 6. Thus, slowing down your rhythmic cycles. Be mindful of the air as it passes through your nostrils down your esophagus and into your abdomen. If your mind wanders off bring it back gently to your breathe. Your mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Concentrating on your breathe bypasses your mind. Once you slow your cycles and quiet your mind, you are now in the receptive mode to change your programming.

Think briefly about something you, fear. Today we will use as our example the, fear of flying. Today we are going to use our imagination to replicate the experience of flying while you are sitting comfortably and safely in your chair.

Let's begin. visualize you are at the airport with your loved ones, your husband and 2 children. You are on your way to Venice, Italy. You chose Venice because you wanted a romantic vacation with your husband. You can't wait to ride on the Gondolas and be serenaded with live music, going to the opera and have the experience of taking a water taxi everywhere. You are excited. This energy is positive. You let this feeling of euphoria wash over you, you feel your body tingle with this positive energy. You feel good!
Now you are boarding the plane, you are starting to feel a little anxious. You board the plane and find your seat, you buckle yourself in. The pilot announces that your flight time is 6 hours and that he will be flying at a cruising altitude of 35,000 feet. He advises you to give your attention the flight attendant and pay attention to the safety information. You mentally note your exits. You listen to what to do in the event of a water landing! Your mind is going nuts with fear. Your heart starts to palpitate rapidly, you start to sweat.

Now the airplane is taxing down the runway at full speed, then lifts off the ground.
You squeeze your husband's hand, you are hardly breathing, your whole body is tight. The plane is climbing it shakes a little. You are so scared the sweat starts dripping from your forehead. The plane reaches cruising altitude, the pilot turns off the fasten seat belt sign and people start moving about the plane. You calm down a little, but still aware of every movement of the plane. The flight attendants come around and offer beverages. You ask for a glass of wine. You drink it down in one gulp! You start to feel calmer. The flight is uneventful. After what seems like an eternity the pilot announces that in 30 minutes he will be starting his descent into Venice. Your fear returns, the plane shakes a little as it descends and you are once again in the grip of fear. The plane touches down and speeds down the runway braking speed. Your body is tight, your breathing shallow. Then it is all over. You faced your fear and came out on the other side! You exit the plane and you are in Venice!

I want you now to realize that you have taken your first flight in your mind.
I want you to realize that fear is false evidence appearing real.
I want you to realize that once you face your fear, like a bully, it backs down.
I want you to realize that the energy of fear is keeping you stuck.
I want you to realize that whatever your fear, just like we took a ride on an airplane and came out alive on the other side that is how all fear works. It has no real power over you. The only thing that is holding you back from doing the things you want to do is all in your mind. So, the only way the clear it is to start with the mind. Do a dress rehearsal in the mind and then do it in the physical.

The first step in How to overcome fear is to face the fear.

The second step is to clear it from the place it is planted in your mind. Take a moment now to ask your higher self where the fear of flying came from. When was the fear planted? When you get the answer, you may think to yourself, boy that was silly or you may have a legitimate reason to be afraid of flying. Someone you know could have died in a plane crash or you yourself could have been in a plane emergency landing. The thing to remember is that you know that every time you drive on the highway you could die and you are aware of thousands of people who have died in car accidents; yet few people have a fear of driving in a car.
So, consciousness is the second step.

The third step is to clear that energy by replacing it with, positive energy. We are going to use the, positive energy, of gratitude. Sit comfortably again. Imagine a bright light entering the crown of your head moving down through your check, down your throat to your chest, down your abdomen through your feet.
Feel this light fill all your energy centers as you become fully relaxed. Now expand this energy out from your chest past the room, past your city, past your country, past the clouds, past the sun, past the planet into the stratosphere. You are now floating in cyberspace. If you can bring your fear to mind in this space, do so now.

Then replace that feeling of fear with the feeling of gratitude. Gratitude that you are alive, gratitude that you are in your sound mind, gratitude that you have a place to sleep and food to eat. Gratitude that you are wealthier than 95% of the people in the world and you have the resources to travel to exotic destinations. Gratitude that you will not let fear rob you of your joy.
Now set the intention to fly to the first place on your bucket list within the year.

If you found this post helpful, I would love to hear your comments on what your fears are, and if you achieved a successful result transferring it with these exercises. Please share this podcast and blog post with friends and family and remember to subscribe and post a review.
Transform your Mind podcast is giving away a Free Checklist you can do every morning to replace your fears with positive affirmations.
To receive please subscribe, rate and review this podcast then send me an email to [email protected] with the subject line iTunes review.
Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

7 Ways to Get Unstuck and Take Back Your Power

One of the worst, negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of, being stuck; defined as moving forward or going back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you, get unstuck?

Our topic today is How to, Get Unstuck. This is a, life coaching, session with, coach Myrna

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Being stuck, is a place of no personal power

https://youtu.be/w4Qxq23FzPQ

What it feels like to be stuck

A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was,  stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free, life coaching, to, get unstuck.

She was in an, abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. In order to, get unstuck,  she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister's home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister's home, because she didn't have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her, abusive relationship!

How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck, is  when the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation.
It could be an intolerable boss.
It could be a demeaning job.

How do you make the decision to, get unstuck?

How do you find the strength to want something better?

How did I coach this situation?

This is the major benefit of, life coaching, the ability of the, life coach, to see the frame.

You see you can't see the frame when you are the picture!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Coaching to Get Unstuck

I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her, abusive relationship. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing. It was, stuck, in repeat.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister's lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn't cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
.
After we got past the, negative emotions, we were then able to plan for the future to , get unstuck.

You can't plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in, negative energy, and self-pity of, being stuck.

I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to, get unstuck.

1: Hope and Faith are important to getting unstuck 

Faith, that God can make a way out of no way.

Faith, that even though you can't see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.

The message of, faith, in this story is that you can't think that God intended for you to live in an, abusive relationship,  being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley, get unstuck, and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.

Once you find that, positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.

My coachee got the job we are moving in the direction to, get unstuck.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don't let him convince you that you are, stuck.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

2: Another way to get unstuck is to move the energy around.

The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have, stuck, energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don't feel like doing until you feel like doing it!

Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.

You have to get over disappointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don't let tragedy destroy you and keep you, stuck.
Don't stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can't take big steps
Automatic negative thoughts don't take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.

Similarly, being stuck,  on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.

It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.

It is important to, get unstuck, remove , negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.

3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck

What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a, life coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.

One way to do this is to memorize and recite the, serenity prayer, several times per day

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can't coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.

4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can't or won't move right now.

I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!

So for example if you are, stuck, in order to, get unstuck, you have to become aware of your thoughts. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn't know any better.

If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn't know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.

This is a simple example but it works to, get unstuck. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.

Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.

5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself

  • Come back to the problem later
  • Write out options and solutions
  • Write out the worrying situation
  • Write what you can do about it
  • Write what you cannot control about it.

6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.

The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be, stuck, but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.

Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to, get unstuck, think differently, and you will feel differently.

Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.

Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.

Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.

Some of you are, stuck, because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.

As Neapolitan Hill said

As a man thinking so is he.

Shakespeare puts it another way

“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself

You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances

Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.

You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.

What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?

I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.

We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.

Use your negative energy to get unstuck

Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can't know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!

She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.

She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!

To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
Adobe Photoshop PDF

Out of the Snares

Additional Resources

How to Heal Your Brokenness

How to be Happy with Less

 

 

What Are You Patiently Waiting on Almighty God For?

Are you praying and, patiently waiting, on, God, to answer your prayers? Be aware of why you want this thing.  Sometimes we are not ready to receive that what which we ask for and that is why the, almighty God, does not answer our, prayers, when we ask.

Patiently waiting? Be careful what you wish for.


It is important to understand or become conscious of why you want the things or certain people to come into your life. If you are, patiently waiting, and asking, God, for a child, be conscious of why you want a child. Is it because you want someone to love you or you want something to love? A puppy can satisfy that need.

If you are, waiting patiently, on,  God, for a spouse, is it because you want to share your life and be important to someone, or is it because you need help with your bills? Awareness is the key to understanding your desires.

When what you want does not show up, what do you do?
Do you become depressed and lose faith in God?

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Download on Spotify

Law of Detachment and patiently waiting

In the first chapter of my book “Out Of The Snares”, I share with you my journey to adopting my twin girls. I write about where the desire originated from. I share how I responded to the resistance offered up by the Universe and people at the Department of Children's and Families. I share with you how the Laws of Detachment worked for me.

The, Law of Detachment, works with, faith. Faith, that God will grant you the desires of your heart, so you give this desire to, God, and you let him work out the details. Detachment, helps you to patiently wait for God.  You are not detaching from the outcome; but from the journey. You are saying to yourself, I am patiently waiting, on God.  I have , faith, that I will have the desires of my heart. I will become a mother.  If I don't birth a child, God, will send me an adopted child.  That is, detachment, from the journey.  You don't care about the path that, God, uses to grant you your desire, only that in the end, you have a child.

If a desire comes from your true self
It has within it the power to manifest.

For example: let's say that you are going on a road trip to Florida from California. Your GPS navigational system can take you, the fastest way, the longest scenic way, or the cheapest way to avoid tolls. Regardless, of the route you take, you will be confident that route will take you to Florida.
In a similar way, you have to be confident in, God, that all roads will lead you to your destination. So, be prepared to, wait patiently, on God and don't become frustrated and give up.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

The trick is to detach yourself from all the craziness and petty people trying to take from you what, God, has purposed for you to have. You must also remember that, God's time, usually does not coincide with your time, so learn to, wait patiently,  and get yourself ready.

Get Yourself ready while patiently waiting on God

If you are asking, God, for a promotion, learn the skills necessary for this new job.
If you are asking, God, for a child, learn how to be the best parent ever, read parenting books.
If you are asking, God, for a spouse, learn how to have effective relationships.
If you need to lose weight, work on it. Be the best that you can be and when, God, feels you are ready, he will give you the victory, because you serve an, Almighty God, who is able to do all things.

Two things about Patiently Waiting on God

#1: Waiting on, God’s, plans requires patience and, faith.

It’s in the, patiently waiting,  that our, faith, is forged in the fires of trials. In the waiting, we discover that, God’s, in charge and we’re nothing on our own.

#2: Waiting is hard, but the wait has a purpose

God is never accidental. Everything he does has a purpose.

Sometimes the wait is for, God, to align other pieces of the plan. Sometimes the wait is for, God, to align the pieces of our own heart.

“Out of the Snares” Now Available on Amazon in eBook format.
Download your copy today!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE
Print version available in September.

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/principle-2-the-events-in-your-life-whether-good-or-bad-work-together-for-good/

https://myhelps.us/does-god-answer-prayer/