“The goal of, executive coaching, is the goal of good management: to make the most of an organization’s valuable resources.” – Harvard Business Review Organizations that embrace the culture that their employees and leaders are their most valuable resources, invest in the development of these resources.
There are four commonly used tools for improving human performance:
Therapy; and there are important differences between them.
Just as it is important to know when to hire a consultant; it is equally important to know the when and why for using a, Life coach.
Why hire a Life coach?
You would like to improve Personal transformation
To develop the future leaders in your organization
Lead change to create high performing, results driven organizations
Help managers learn how to be coaches to their employees
Personal accountability for development – A coach can hold you accountable for work you promised to do between sessions.
Sustained interpersonal skills development.
Consistent, long-term development that gets embedded and becomes part of your routine.
Identify executive strengths and development needs
Leverage existing strengths and improve performance
Create an Executive Strategy with an Action Plan and accountability to help executives stay on track
Adopt and/or reinforce executive leadership competencies crucial to the organization’s culture.
Positive and sustainable behavior changes
Develop leadership skills and practices; learn coaching skills they can implement.
Enhanced career planning and development with an action-oriented plan
Create greater work/life balance.
The Executive Coaching Process
Executives claimed expanded thinking through dialogue and powerful questioning from a coach. Dialogue, fueled through powerful questions, is at the heart of the, executive coaching, process. In coaching conversations, executives, think out loud, become more reflective and gain access to their own tacit knowledge and unexplored ideas.The coach’s role is to act as a sounding board, confidant, partner, challenger and catalyst for change.
Self-awareness, including the blind spots – Case Study
Jack has excellent technical skills and has fast-tracked to a senior executive position. He was certain he was a good leader — that is, until his coach asked him questions about his team’s excitement and engagement levels. It became clear to the coach that Jack’s team was frustrated.
Jack was furious and “insulted” and he vowed never to work with his coach again. Subsequently, Jack pondered his strong reaction. He realized his coach had hit a nerve. “That’s why I reacted like that, because it was true,” he says.
Jack is still working with his coach and continues to learn and develop. He appreciates his coach’s role in helping him gain self-awareness, which means understanding his strengths as well as his blind spots. “I don’t have these kinds of discussions with anybody else,” he says. “I am on such a straight path that I can’t see what’s going on.
That’s where, executive coaching, really helps me.” Jack now expects his coach to hit a nerve from time to time. He sums it up this way: “The value to me is not for a coach to be really nice to me. I don’t need another friend. The value to me is having somebody to help me see what I can’t see.”
Executive Coaching, acts as a mirror for Jack, providing him with honest feedback and revealing gaps so he can see himself more clearly, as well as help him to identify goals and promoting sustained action.
Personal Accountability for development
Some, executives, use sports metaphors to describe, executive coaching. Anne, a high Achiever, thinks of, executive coaching, as a springboard for reaching her personal best at work. “Olympic medalists have coaches,” she says.
“I want to be an Olympic medalist in, business.” Anne regards her coach as her “personal trainer.” The common denominator in, executive coaching, and personal training is accountability. You can learn proper techniques in a few training sessions at the gym, but it is easy to lose your way, by cutting corners, using improper techniques or missing workouts.
Ongoing personal training creates momentum and accountability for development. The same is true for, executive coaching. As Anne says, “Coaching provides an objective outside person to help you do assessments, set developmental plans and hold you accountable.”
Anne has invested heavily in her career, through education and hard work. She views coaching as another form of investment. She and her coach established developmental targets on day one. Now they have weekly meetings, either in person or on the telephone, to discuss her progress toward her targets and identify obstacles that are impeding her progress.
Through, executive coaching, Anne holds herself accountable for her continued success. Her bottom line: “Coaching gets me from where I am today to where I want to be”
Executive coaching, facilitates what is called “just-in-time learning,” which is all about learning on the spot. Clients can practice and role play. Jack told his coach that he wanted to “take a stand” in his next meeting, and that he wanted to come across as confident, self-assured and assertive.
Coaching provided Jack with a dress rehearsal. He used the session to develop a strategy for the meeting. He knew that thinking on his feet in front of a group of people was not one of his strengths, so he and his coach brainstormed potential questions. Jack prepared his answers and did some role playing. The next day Jack was outstanding. He called it “a powerful experience.” The coaching session had facilitated just-in-time learning.
How Executive Coaching Helps the Organization:
Reduce turnover and retain top performing staff
Enhanced individual and organizational performance
Improved organizational strength
Perception of management as being committed to employees and their growth and success
Improved employee morale, more committed employees, thus greater productivity
Retention of high potential talent and talent magnet
Better client relationships
Positive work environment, thus greater productivity
Executives, learn coaching techniques which they can implement with their teams for improved relationships and productivity, as well as enhanced employee development.
Enhanced organizational performance
Positively affect organizational culture
Succession planning and development of key, executives
Reputation of investing in executives through development
Enhanced reputation within industry
Ability to recruit key talent
Positioned for continued growth and success
“Executive Coaching, is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance.”
“It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them. Clients say coaching brings out their best by helping them focus, break down tasks and clarify their values.” – Fortune Magazine
So, you are now an, entrepreneur, and working for yourself! You are the Boss, the President and CEO! What do you do next?
Entrepreneurship – What makes one throw in the employment towel? Why do, Entrepreneurs, give up the guaranteed paycheck every two weeks? Work 14 hour days, and sometimes not even pay themselves. Why? I think it is because we are passionate about what we do. When you are passionate about what you do, you would it for free!
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” –Steve Jobs, Co-Founder, Chairman and CEO, Apple
So, you are now an, Entrepreneur, and working for yourself! You are the Boss, the President and CEO! What do you do next? The first decision to be made is figuring out what Business structure works best for you.
Is Incorporation or Sole Proprietorship the right structure? Are you “Minding your own business”? This is a term made popular by Robert Kawasaki in the book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” and refers to the concept having regular employment while operating your own business on the side.
Robert suggests that you have this dual employment status until your business on the side generates revenues equals your current pay check. This relieves the stress of supporting yourself and your family with revenues from a new business. Your Accountant can recommend the best structure for your company or you can refer to my self help start up guide “Minding your own business” available for download at http://myhelps.us/contact-us-myrna-young/. Below is an excerpt from “Minding your own Business”
What New Entrepreneurs Need To Know:
As a new, entrepreneur, you need to know your federal Tax responsibilities. In addition to knowing about federal taxes, you need to make some basic business decisions.
What is the Form or Structure of your new Business?
The most common forms of business are the sole proprietors, Corporations, Partnerships, LLC, and S Corporations. When beginning a business, you must decide which form of business to use. Legal and tax considerations enter into this decision.
Sole Proprietorship: A sole proprietorship is an unincorporated business that is owned by one individual. It is the simplest form of business organization to start and maintain. The business has no existence apart from you, the owner. Its liabilities are your personal liabilities. You undertake the risks of the business for all assets owned, whether or not used in the business. You include the income and expenses of the business on your personal tax return.
Corporations: In forming a corporation, prospective shareholders exchange money, property, or both, for the corporation’s capital stock. A corporation generally takes the same deductions as a sole proprietorship to figure its taxable income. A corporation can also take special deductions. For federal income tax purposes, a C corporation is recognized as a separate taxpaying entity. A corporation conducts business, realizes net income or loss, pays taxes and distributes profits to shareholders. The profit of a corporation is taxed to the corporation when earned.
Limited liability Company: A limited liability company (LLC) is an entity formed under state law by filing articles of organization as an LLC. The members of an LLC are not personally liable for its debts. An LLC may be classified for federal income tax purposes as either a partnership, a corporation, or an entity disregarded as an entity separate from its owner by applying the rules in regulations.
S corporations: An eligible domestic corporation can avoid double taxation (once to the corporation and again to the shareholders) by electing to be treated as an S corporation. Generally, an S corporation is exempt from federal income tax other than tax on certain capital gains and passive income. On their tax returns, the S corporation’s shareholders include their share of the corporation’s separately stated items of income, deduction, loss, and credit, and their share of non separately stated income or loss.
Employer Identification Number (EIN) is used to identify the tax accounts of employers, certain sole proprietors, corporations, partnerships, estates, trusts, and other entities.
Some Other Considerations of your new Business are:
Who are your customers?
How do you market to this select base?
What are my skills? What skills do I need to complete my team?
What is my vision? What is my plan to get there?
Who are your customers?
With the current state of the economy, having a well-defined target market is more important than ever. No one can afford to target everyone. Small businesses, can effectively compete with large companies by targeting a niche market. Many businesses say they target “anyone interested in my services.”
Some may say they target small business owners, homeowners, or stay-at-home moms. All of these targets are too general. Targeting a specific market does not mean that you have to exclude people that do not fit your criteria from buying from you. Rather, target marketing allows you to focus your marketing dollars and brand message on a specific market that is more likely to buy from you than other markets.
This is a much more affordable, efficient, and effective way to reach potential clients and generate business. For example, if you are a Florist, your customers could be anyone with a birthday or anniversary but you could decide to target the wedding market and put your marketing dollars towards that Target market. With a clearly defined target audience, it is much easier to determine where and how to market your company.
Here are some tips for entrepreneurs to help you define your target market:
Look at Your Current Customer Base
Who are your current customers, and why do they buy from you? Look for common characteristics and interests. Which ones bring in the most business? It is very likely that other people like them could also benefit from your product/service.
Check Out Your Competition
Who are your competitors targeting? Who are their current customers? Understand why they are targeting this demographic and then try to become innovative and offer something different. You may also find a niche market that they are overlooking.
Choose Specific Demographics to Target
Figure out not only who has a need for your product or service, but also who is most likely to buy it. Think about the following factors:
Marital or family status
Consider the Psychographics of Your Target Customer
Psychographics are personal characteristics of a person including:
Determine how your product or service will fit into your target’s lifestyle.
How and when will they use your product or service?
What features are most appealing to them?
What media do they turn to for information?
Do they read the trade journals, search online, or attend particular events to choose suppliers?
Understand How Your Customers Think. Once you’ve decided on a target market, be sure to consider these questions:
Will my target really benefit from my product/service?
Will they see a need for it?
Do I understand what drives my target audience to make decisions?
Can they afford my product/service?
Can I reach them with my message?
Are they easily accessible?
You may be asking, “How do I find out all this information?”
Try searching online for research others have done on your target.
Search for magazine articles and blogs that talk about your target market.
Search for blogs and forums where people in your target market communicate their opinions.
Look for survey results, or consider conducting a survey of your own.
What are my skills? What skills do I need to complete my team?
In the early days of, entrepreneurship, it’s natural to try to do as much as possible yourself. It’s the most cost-effective, comfortable, sensible way to do things in the beginning. But as your enterprise grows, you’ll find yourself stretched thinner and thinner.
Eventually, you’ll find you just can’t continue to oversee operations and sales and accounting and fulfillment and marketing–and hope to continue to grow your business. When you reach this point, it’s time to think about bringing other high-level managers or team members on board to help you out.
You need to build a senior team that’s able to manage all the critical areas of your business to take it to the next level. Building your team demands matching jobs to people’s strengths. That means giving people responsibilities according to skill level, not based on how close a friend they are, or how closely related they are to you, or whether you just like their sunny personality.
Become Conscious of your strengths and the areas you lack the necessary skills. Eg. Are you creative? Can you design your marketing or branding materials? Are you skilled in sales? If not you need a sales team. When it comes time to hiring an executive team, you’ll need to find people to fill the following roles:
Chief Executive Officer (CEO). The fact of the matter is, the CEO is the boss of everyone and is responsible for everything. They determine the company’s strategy. They hire and build the senior team. They make the final call on how resources get divvied up, and they’re the one whose face appears on the press releases!. The CEO’s skills must include strategic thinking, the ability to rise above the daily details and decide where the industry and business are headed. They must then be able to decide the company’s best route for navigating the future market conditions. They have to be able to make good bets.
Some of the best are Steve Job; Apple; Bill Gates, Microsoft; Jack Welsh, GE.
The CEO’s key skill, however, is in hiring and firing. The right management team can cover a CEO’s shortcomings. A CEO may be able to set strategy, predict the future and control the budget, but if they don’t hire the right team, they have to master it all themselves.
Chief Operating Officer (COO). A COO handles a company’s complex operational details. Think about UPS moving three billion packages in the two weeks before Christmas: or think of a Florist delivering hundreds of flowers on Valentine day. The day after is too late! The company’s COO insures the business can deliver day after day. He figures out just what needs to be measured so he can tell if things are going well. Then his team creates the systems to track the measurements and takes action when the company isn’t delivering. As an, Entrepreneur, you are probably the President, CEO and COO. If you just take orders and do no planning and measuring then you will remain an Entrepreneur.
Your vision should be to grow up and become an Enterprise!
President. A president oversees staff functions–human resources, finance and strategy–while the COO oversees daily operations. the president can also be a synonym for COO, especially in smaller companies.
Chief Financial Officer (CFO). Plain and simple, your CFO handles the money. They create budgets and financing strategies. They figure out if it’s better for your business to lease or buy. Then they build the control systems that monitor your company’s financial health. The CFO is the “bad guy” who won’t let you buy that really cool videoconferencing equipment and makes you pay down a commercial loan instead. While you mope about it in your office, the CFO will be busy figuring out which customers, business lines and products are profitable, so next year you can afford the really cool videoconferencing equipment.
Chief Marketing Officer (CMO). Recently, companies have been bringing in a marketing expert at the C-level rather than as just a vice president. The reason is simple: Many current business battles are battles of marketing, so corporate strategy often hinges on a marketing strategy. The CMO owns the marketing strategy–and that often includes the sales strategy–and oversees its implementation. The CMO will know (or learn) your industry inside out and helps you position your product, differentiate it from your competitors’ products, enlist distributors, and make sure customers learn to crave your product. Think of Apple and the new IPhone 6!
All business Live or Die with marketing. I heard a story once about a new magazine start-up Company that hired a sales person to go door to door and sell subscriptions to the magazine as their marketing plan. The magazine was a very good magazine but the business failed because the sales person (their only form of marketing) did not sell a single subscription in 6 months! I am marketing to you the reader of this Blog right now! Marketing can take many forms; but it is the blood of a business. Without it, your business dies.
Chief Technology Officer (CTO). A CTO should keep up with technology trends, integrate those trends into the company’s strategy, and make sure the company keeps current when it’s necessary. You need a CTO if technology impacts your business or industry strategically.
Entrepreneurship, is about going for the things that are much bigger than what you could do alone. Your job isn’t to reach the goal; it’s to build a team that will reach the goal. If you really want to reach your goals, you’ll need to bring on others to help, and creating a good executive team means knowing what you need them to do, finding good candidates, and giving them what they need to do their jobs. If you choose well, they’ll be successful and make you successful as well.
Vision – The Universal Energy behind your dreams
“Some believe there is nothing one man or one woman can do against the enormous array of the world’s ills — against misery, against ignorance, or injustice and violence. Yet many of the world’s great movements, of thought and action, have flowed from the work of a single man.
A young monk began the Protestant reformation, a young general extended an empire from Macedonia to the borders of the earth, and a young woman reclaimed the territory of France. It was a young Italian explorer who discovered the New World, and 32 year old Thomas Jefferson who proclaimed that all men are created equal. ‘Give me a place to stand,’ said Archimedes, ‘and I will move the world.’ These men moved the world, and so can we all.”— Robert F. Kennedy
Pat Riley’s vision was to win a Championship for Miami. So he put together his team with his star players; Lebron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh. Then he needed supporting players, each with supporting skills. He also needed the right coaches! Vision, The right team and execution won him not One but Two Championships!!
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The, mind garden, is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha
The Garden of the Mind
Imagine your, mind, as a garden. Positive thoughts are the beautiful flowers that brighten your life. Negative thoughts are the ugly weeds that spread and suffocate your happiness, by cutting off sunlight. Just like plants we need sunlight to thrive.
Negative thoughts can take the form of fear, self-doubt, guilt, anger, blame, insecurity, prophesying or any thought that makes you feel bad!
We need to kill the ANTS :(Automatic Negative Thoughts)
Fear – defined as false events appearing real, is the number one reason that we don’t achieve success in this life. Fear of the unknown, that feeling of uncertainty. Our minds spin tales of past events when we failed or of someone we knew who failed.
One way to Kill this ANT is to imagine what is the worst that could happen. If you hate your job and are afraid to leave for fear that you would be able to find another job that pays as much or more than you are making now; talk back to this fear and say that you are skilled and you would so get another job.
If the worst that could happen is that you run out of money and can’t eat or become homeless; then you plan ahead and either find another job before you quit or acquire the necessary skills to get the job you want. Doing nothing because you are afraid should never be an option. There is also a positive side to this ANT.
If you are afraid of losing something be it your spouse, your job, your home; it tells you that these things are important to you and that you should do the necessary due diligence to keep them. For example if you fear losing your spouse, then you should work on keeping the marriage fresh, you should keep yourself attractive and don’t let yourself get to 300 lbs and you should serve your spouse and make them feel special.
The Mind garden of self doubt
Self-doubt – or lack of confidence is a very powerful ANT. One of the most essential character traits to have is confidence. It is sexy and it allows you to command attention. When this ANT is telling you that you are not good enough, you will not get that promotion because you don’t have a degree for example; talk back and tell it that you are the best person for this job and that it is their loss if they don’t hire you. If you don’t, you will never move from where you are today. You will never be an over achiever or the top sales person on a team! You need self-confidence to achieve success.
Guilt – guilt affects your, mind garden, as a weed that needs to be pulled up. it is a result of your conscience telling you that you have violated your own core value. It is telling you that you did something that is moving you away from your predetermined goal. You can talk back to this ANT by telling yourself that you recognize your mistake and that you have forgiven yourself. Don’t let the guilt and shame arrest you and keep you in bondage.
The mind garden of Anger, Blame and Prophesying
Anger – Anger ANTS keep telling you that someone had no right to do something. The more you think about it, the angrier you get. Psychologists say that anger is like an iceberg, what you see is just the tip but there is more ice for miles below the surface. If you are conscious you have an Anger Management problem, then you should understand (with the help of a Therapist) what is causing your anger. You can talk back to this ANT and tell it that you cannot control what someone else does; the only person you can control is yourself.
Blame – this ANT can be very destructive. When you blame others for the results you are having in your life, you assume the role of the victim. As the victim, you have no power to facilitate change. You talk back to this ANT by becoming a player. As a player you take back control. Regardless of what the dealer is showing, you can still win! You are not the product of your circumstances. Everybody has a story, it is how you handle adversity and challenges that define and grow you.
Prophesying – the prophesying ANT talks to you about what it knows about the future! It tells you things like “you are never going to close that sale”. “The customer is going to string you along and they will never buy” or “it is never going to work out”. You can talk back to this ANT by declaring that you cannot predict the future. You do not have a crystal ball!
My Automatic Negative Thoughts generally take the form of conversations. These ANTS usually starts crawling when I get a trigger. You know what happens when you step on an Ants nest? The Ants all run out at the same and start attacking, they bite! Tony Robbins teaches about anchors and how to replace the negative ones with positive ones.
If you have this problem you should check out his book “The Power Within”. The way I handle these ANTs is by shaking my head when I become conscious that they are crawling around. I physically shake my head like I am trying to shake them off me, then I bring my attention to my breathing for a few minutes. If they come back again and they usually do, I download them in my journal and that usually takes care of the problem for me.
I tend the Mind Garden by becoming Conscious of the thoughts that make me feel bad!
Positive thoughts, on the other hand are like flowers, they beautify your gardens and bring smiles to anyone who stops and pays attention to their beauty; in a similar way positive thoughts make you beautiful to anyone who you have interpersonal relations with. But the beauty of positive thoughts is that they make you feel good. It is not only sex that makes you feel good!
Tending to the, mind garden, is an ongoing process.
I’ve seen firsthand how dangerous it is to let the weeds of negative thinking take over your mind and just like in your natural garden the weeds thrive more than the flowers or plants. In a similar way when you allow the ANTS to run free in your head; they snuff all the joy out of your life. All you see is darkness, because they are blocking the sunlight from getting in! Let’s look at a garden metaphor to bring an awareness of what happens when weeds take over a garden. Left alone the weeds flourish, creating a dark, tangled mess.
Don’t let weeds thrive in your mind garden
This morning I stepped outside and noticed one of the largest weeds I have ever seen. I didn’t notice it before because it looked like a tree. It had a trunk, and was taller than the other flowers. I thought to myself; how on earth could a weed grow so strong and big? The answer is simple: their purpose is to take the nutrients from the plants, so they get big when your plants become weak and die.
So it is too with your mind: An unattended, mind, can create havoc for you because your, mind, is amazingly receptive to whatever suggestions may be dropped into it. It has been said that the subconscious mind cannot take a joke. This simply means that whatever belief is introduced to it, it takes seriously as an instruction to grow that thought-seed into a full-blown plant–be it a rose or a weed, and it can’t tell the difference.
When you stop and consider how many thought seeds are purposefully planted in your mind on a daily basis, it may cause you to tend to your mental garden with a bit more regularity. This is in addition to all the seeds that were planted in your mind unconsciously.
As you listen to the radio, watch TV or even sit in a restaurant where others are talking, your mind hears it ALL, irrespective of whether you are conscious of it or not. Given what’s going on in our world today with all of the talk that comes from fear and anger, this is a vital point to grasp. Even when you engage in gossip or negative conversation with or about others, your subconscious mind hears it all. Be careful of the seeds you let in.
A mind expanded with an implanted thought cannot be returned back to its original form. Leonardo DiCaprio starred in this complicated movie called “inception”, the implantation of another person’s idea into a target’s subconscious.[Hollywood understands this concept. The only way to avoid this type of mind pollution is to be consciously focused on positive activities and limit news and gossip.
There are some companies that have a zero tolerance for gossip. They treat it like a cancer and remove the gossiper immediately.
The action you and I need to take is clear isn’t it? It has been proven that the human mind thinks thousands of thoughts a day. Instead of planting a mixed bag of thousands of various seeds, from fearful to simply confused and unfocused thought-seeds, which will require a full time gardener to pull up the weeds, why not specialize in planting one or two types of seed? Plant thought-seeds about yourself and others that are rooted in reverence and loving-kindness.
Plant seeds that focus on God’s Presence at the center and circumference of all you say think and do, at work, home, or play.
Be mindful…be skillful in the seeds you plant and how you nurture them. Your life is your garden; keep the weeds out because that is one way in which you can personally beautify our world. You owe that much to yourself and to those who receive the benefit of the seeds you plant along the way.
Here is a brief Biography of my guest Gail Green.
• Gail is a leadership coach and trainer and her topic today is “How to find out if you are an, open communicator, or, closed communicator, in your business environment. Gail is a leader who connects individuals and teams to their truth, helping them to discover their full expression of courage, joy and fulfillment. Gail works with all sizes of companies, as well as individually with leaders, and do life coaching with individuals from all walks of life.
• Gail’s primary work is in leadership development, team-building, stress management and all forms of, communication skills.
Why is being a closed communicator bad? Because as a closed off person, you become defensive, resistant, bitchy, moody, easy to anger, confrontational, and not open to feedback.
So as a Leader, it is important to be open to your team and employees.
Open people radiate outwards from their heart and is able to touch others.
If you want to impact your employees and your customers, then learn how to be open.
Listen to the podcast as Gail teaches us how to be, Open vs Closed communication. with the help of her Go Cards.
Learn how to become an Open Communicator and Leader
Brian Tracy The author of “Eat that Frog” also teaches How to become an Open Leader and achieve new levels of success in sales.
Why is being a, closed communicator, bad? Because as a closed off person, you become defensive, resistant, bitchy, moody, easy to anger, confrontational, and not open to feedback.
So as a Leader, it is important to be open to your team and employees.
Open people radiate outwards from their heart and is able to touch others.
If you want to impact your employees and your customers, then learn how to be open.
Listen to the podcast as Gail teaches us how to be Open vs Closed with the help of her Go Cards.
Are You also Closed Off in your personal relationships And Don’t Even Know It?
How Would you answer the following questions?
Are you emotionally guarded?
Are you willing to take risks?
If you answered yes to these questions, it could mean that you are closed off emotionally.
Sometimes being emotionally guarded gets you into bad situations; but most of the time it gets you nowhere. In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken. So that could be why you keep finding yourself in relationships that bore you, or in relationship with other emotionally closed off individuals. Because like attracts like. Those relationships aren’t very rewarding, are they? If you don’t take the risk
By putting your true self and your true feelings on the table, those are the types of relationships that you will attract. Your emotionally open friends will get those giddy, best-friends-lovers, movie-type romances; you will get the dead-end ones. Maybe you’ve never had your heart broken, and maybe you think that’s a perk. But it’s not. It is said that it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all! So, I will ask the question. Are you closed off and don’t even realize it?
Here is an article from Madame Enoire that asks 10 more ways to tell if you are closed off emotionally.
Here are 10 ways to tell if you are a closed communicator:
1. Do you feel like first dates are interrogations, and are put off by the line of questioning you receive during them?
2. Does it feel very inappropriate to you whenever someone becomes emotional around you?
3. Do your friends share their romantic stories with you? Or do they feel that you are never happy for them so they don’t share?
4. Do you attract cocky guys?
5. You do a lot of Googling before first dates.
6. You prep your friends to meet a guy.
7. Sex is a competition.
8. You’ve never cried to a partner or shown your venerability.
9. Eye contact makes you very uncomfortable
10. You’re very sarcastic
Show Notes How to become an Open Communicator
Topic: Are you an Open or Closed Communicator?
1. Question 1: Tell us your journey towards becoming a Leadership coach
2. Question 2: How did you come to specialize in Open vs closed communication?
3. Question 3: How does a leader know if he or she is open or closed? What determines that?
4. Question 4: If a leader becomes closed off, how can he or she trace the source?
5. Question 5: Why should leaders want to become open? What are the benefits of being open?
6. Question 6: What tools do you offer as a coach to help clients who are closed off to become open?
7 Question 7: You sent me this beautiful set of Go Cards, how does one use these cards to change their state?
This story was about a man who selected this woman because of her vulnerability.
Sociopaths, always chose their victims.
He actually knocked on her door one day and began a friendship with her, then he got her to move away from her friends and family to this remote house in England.
Sociopaths, always want to get you away from your friends and family because friends and family strengthen us. Jeffrey Epstein, had his island in the Virgin Islands
Welcome to Cotton For The Soul™ podcast, (www.cottonforthesoul.com) an up close and personal raw & unfiltered perspective on life experience of eating a plant-base diet. Spreading Good vibrations while living a minimalist lifestyle outside the matrix. Whether you have taken the pill of knowledge or the pill of blissful ignorance, thank you for tuning in from down the rabbit hole. Now, buckle your seat-belt because it’s about to get real! We upload a new episode every Thursday.
This house in England was a beautiful large Victorian home. This man let’s call him Jim told this that he inherited this property and had her suggest that they modernize the house with her money.
Later in the story after she had escaped with her life, she found out that the property was rented, it was a con to get her money.
Sociopaths, are liars.
Then Jim started abusing her, verbally and emotionally, then physically. He told her if she ever left him he would kill her. Every time she attempted to leave, he would find her and punish her. Finally in desperation she walked for miles in the freezing cold one night to someone’s home and hid there.
Sociopaths, keep you in control with abuse. Remember the Robert R Kelly documentary? All the women said that he controlled them with physical abuse and punishment like starvation when they disobeyed his orders. Like going to the bathroom without getting permission
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Like I said, this story imprinted on my mind and since then I have been able to spot, sociopaths. Almost all of them are good looking and charming and they use this asset to reel in their victims.
Jeffrey Epstein, the Sociopath
Jeffrey Epstein, was also good looking and charming and was able to charm his way into getting jobs as a teacher and securities broker without having any of the necessary paperwork, because he dropped out of college.
As a, sexual predator, they use this good looking charm to make women fall for them and after they get them emotionally tied, they switch from charming to becoming a monster.
Sociopaths, are also narcissistic. They can feel no emotions so they do unconscionable things without batting an eyelid.
Jeffrey Epstein, sexually abused hundreds of children for decades by luring them with $200. He knew that to a 14 year old $200 was a lot of money. If he ordered a call girl or prostitute the price for a massage and sex would be $2000 not $200; but then of course they wouldn’t turn him on. Only young girls turned him on.
Sociopaths, are usually dishonest. In my story Jim swindled over a $100,000 from his victim to modernize a house that he didn’t own.
Jeffrey Epstein, was also a thief. He stole $46 M from one of his employers and was fired from another for stealing.
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So to answer the question are all, sociopaths, predators? I would say yes, Sociopaths, are always looking for their next victim. They may not be ALL in like, Jeffrey Epstein, and, Robert R Kelly; but they are, sexual predators, who charm women, men and children out of whatever their prize is. There are, sociopaths, scamming old people out of their last dollar and have no remorse that these seniors have no funds left to live out their lives
The Sociopath Next Door
We are accustomed to think of, sociopaths, as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience.
He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a, sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.
How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes, sociopaths, more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced.
Fundamentally, sociopaths, are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths, learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.
The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more, sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a, sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath, is beckoning, do not join the game.
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What is the difference between a, Sociopath vs Psychopath?
I don’t use either term, you’re speaking about an, antisocial personality disorder. Several people in our lifetime like Jeffrey Dahmer’s and other individuals like, Jeffrey Epstein, can be diagnosed with, antisocial personality disorder. The reason why I use that term, a psychological perspective and diagnostic criteria is attached to that term.
There are seven diagnostic criteria that we would use in order to diagnose someone exhibiting, sociopath, behavior:
One there’s a pervasive pattern as well as a disregard for and violation of the rights of others. This behavior starts occurring usually at the age of 15 years old.
Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest, as we saw with both, Jeffrey Epstein, and Robert R Kelly.
Deceitfulness very much so. Very easy for, sociopaths, to be deceitful. Jeffrey Epstein scammed a gentleman that he worked for out of millions of dollars. He taught in a school without the proper credentials. He said he went to certain schools and never attended the schools.
Repeated lying, some of these men even use aliases. They scam others for their own profit. Their personal profit and pleasure.
Irritability and aggressiveness as indicated by repeated fights or assaults
Reckless regard for safety of self and others. Consistent irresponsibility as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work, behavior or honor financial obligations.
Lack of remorse, indicated by being indifferent and to or rationalizing having hurt mistreated or stolen from another individual.
History of Sociopaths
I can imagine it may be a struggle for some, sociopaths, so that’s when they become, sexual predators. The sexual part of it with the, sexual predators, become hard to control. It becomes an addiction. I was actually very surprised when, Jeffrey Epstein, did go to prison the first time for 18 months and he got himself out on a work permit, that he was still continued bringing women in to his office to have sex. The same behavior he was in prison for, he continued doing!
Ted Bundy did the same thing. They incarcerated him and he escaped twice and continued the same behavior. He continued the same exact behavior with those women, killing and murdering and having sexual encounters with them.
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That’s part of the impulsive label. I personally think that the reason, Jeffrey Epstein, did not stop or had no remorse is because he was wealthy. He didn’t care about these women, he just cared about himself and his sexual desires. They called him narcissistic, they call him a, sociopath, you can call it, antisocial personality disorder, all these different labels; but he knew what he was doing was wrong and he thought that he could buy his way out, and he did for quiet some time.
I was quite impressed that the first time, Jeffrey Epstein, was on trial, he had eight lawyers, a team of eight lawyers! I am sure that cost him millions; but Robert R Kelly was poor. I mean he couldn’t even afford a proper lawyer so he’s still in prison.
How are sexual predators created?
Well that’s a good intro to the, sociopaths, and, Psychopaths, and your definition of, anti-social Personality disorder. How does that lead them to become, sexual predators?
I’m not just talking about, sexual predators, but the narcissistic piece where they have no conscience don’t care about their victims, just into your fulfilling of their desires. You mentioned Jeffrey Dahmer and you talked about Ted Bundy. I’m assuming that you put them in this in this conversation, because they’ve also been diagnosed with, antisocial personality disorder, commonly called, sociopath.
These are mental health issues probably passed on from parents and grandparents. Some, sociopaths, develop after being abused as children. Robert R Kelly was raped as a child by his aunt.
How would the women look for, sociopaths, out to take advantage of them?
Firstly, they don’t want to trust. You want to be more cognizant of who you’re trusting.
We want to be aware of someone asking you about your life in terms of your financial abilities.
You want to be more cognizant to the fact of strange men visiting your home. Limit the frequency that they visit or stay in your home. Visit their dwelling to see where they live.
See what their lifestyle is. Talk to their family members don’t even allow them to come to your home for at least 90 days after you meet them.
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The, sociopath, or the person with, antisocial personality disorder, always chooses their victims.
The documentary said that, Jeffrey Epstein, had the ability to read his victims and offer whatever they wanted.
I have worked with families who had children that have been sexually assaulted. In my first intake, my first conversation with the parents, I say to the parents that their child has the 50% likelihood of being sexually assaulted again because pedophiles tend to know. They can read them. They can either pick up on the fear or the vulnerability.
They choose their victims, Robert R Kelly looked for the women with weak minds. Jeffrey Epstein, looked for girls with no parental influence, were poor or needy.
Young females have to be vigilant because people will try to manipulate them and do things to them to get them to perform sex acts. Someone gave, Jeffrey Epstein, three twelve-year-old girls as a birthday present. You saw some of the images of some noted men today some powerful men including Prince Andrew who hung out with, Jeffrey Epstein, they partook of these young girls. Some of them had daughters of that same age. So mothers look out for your daughters.
I tell parents it’s okay to be quote-unquote a helicopter parent. It’s okay to not let your kids spend the night over someone’s house. It’s okay to be a hands-on face-to-face with your kid till they are at least 18 going into college.
If you value your child’s life and you do not want your child to be fractured into pieces as a result of this trauma from a, psychopath, be vigilant. I work in the education field right now and there are people that will become educators or social workers on campuses or they’ll work with the children because they know they have access to be with them alone with children.
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The, power of Love, in Christianity is taught by Jesus, teacher and the Son Of God. He teaches us to love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves. The message is first you must love yourself. Loving yourself is more than providing the necessities of life for oneself. It is more than finding good employment, providing for one’ s family, a nice house and some money in the bank. It is deeper than that.
Love is spirit. It can be felt by strangers. It is a force of good and a power that connects us all. When you love yourself you take time to know and acquaint yourself with this force. We are dually physical and non-physical beings. Unfortunately most of us only concentrate on the physical because that is what we see.
The power of love, can be seen in how we love ourselves because we take care of our bodies. We exercise (some of us). We eat nutritious foods that nourish our bodies (some of us) and we protect ourselves from the sun and get the recommended amount of sleep (again some of us). But how often can a stranger feels your love because you gave them a welcoming smile?
How often do you find a quiet spot and pay attention to your breathing, your source and the center of your spirit? How often do you feel the love from a flower or from the stillness of a tree? God shows his love for us by the beauty he created in nature. When we show our appreciation for nature we find God and his love for us.
Have you ever felt love from an inanimate object like a painting or a building? I visited the Taj Mahal earlier this month. It is one of the seven wonders of the world because of it’s beauty. It is a testament to the, power of love. When you visit the Taj Mahal you feel the love for which it was intended.
The building was constructed to immortalize Emperor Shah Jahan’s love for his wife. So Love your neighbor as you love yourself, extend that love past the boundaries of your family and friends and the world will indeed be a better place to live.
The power of love in Hinduism
In, Hinduism, we see the, power of love, in the eternal love of Radha and Krishna has been the subject of great religious and philosophical imagery and is one of the foundational ethos of Hindu dharma.
The love of Radha and Krishna is not rooted in physicality. On the contrary it is allegorical. The Lord says “the mind that constantly remembers me, comes to dissolve and revel in me”. Radha is the personification of this deeply devoted mind. The pain of Radha’s separation from Krishna is the pain of the estranged soul searching for the embrace of the universal spirit. Radha is the individual and Krishna is the essence and objective of life.
Radha is always the chosen one, but when Radha realizes the pride of having the Supreme Lord all to herself was coloring her mind, he disappears from her heart. Krishna then multiplies himself to be present between every two Gopis. The Gopis are believed to represent thought waves.
The presence of Krishna between every two Gopis, symbolizes that the eternal truth exists everywhere, and it can be perceived by the true seeker even between two thought waves. Radha represents the purest and most beautiful amongst these divine thoughts and Krishna represents the supreme bliss that can be attained by dedicating one’s mind to the divine.
Buddhism is both simple and profound in the, power of love. On a daily basis it advocates watching the mind so that all thoughts, actions and words manifest a kind and compassionate attitude towards all others. It is the loving heart that places others above self. Herein lies the ultimate wisdom of existence. When you understand that the existence of all things, all beings, and all concepts is empty except in relation to other things, beings, and concepts, then you will be close to becoming awakened, crossing into a state of permanent happiness.
When you succeed in eliminating ignorance and replacing it with real wisdom, suffering comes to an end; because in understanding the true nature of existence you are no longer bound by the illusions of Samsara. It is Karma – the law of cause and effect- that gives life it’s moral code.
The Buddha thus advised doing everything to create good karma, for this has the power to propel you into a rebirth in circumstances that are conducive to practicing Dharma. Thereby having the chance to attain enlightenment. Practicing Dharma means showing generosity, having a good heart, purifying negative karma, and creating good karma. It also means embarking on a spiritual path that leads to enlightenment. (Excerp from The Buddha Book by Lillian Too.)
To learn more, please contact Spiritual Life Coach Myrna Morris Young for a free one hour coaching session.
Myrna Morris Young, Life and Executive Coach Author “Becoming Conscious, my Awakening” Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Phone: 954-999-6124 Toll Free: 888-569-3182
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could go to the doctor and tell him our, failure, symptoms and he would give us a diagnosis of success or failure?
How often have you said “life is short”? Well It is! We are here on earth for a limited time to fulfill a purpose. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could go to the doctor and tell him our life symptoms and he would give us a diagnosis of success or failure? For example if you go to the doctor today with itchy bumps and a fever, he would look at you and without running any tests diagnose you with the chicken pox.
How to deal with Failure
Recognizing your, failure, symptoms early in life before you get to your 5th or 6th decade is the only way to take action to modify your behaviors.
Here are 5 symptoms of failure.
1. Sleeping too much.
Do you sleep more than 6 hours per night or day? Thomas Edison took only 2 hour naps on his desk while he was working on his inventions. He didn’t want to sleep because he was so invested in his work. He called sleep a waste of time.
I read Donald Trump’s biography and he said that he hated going to sleep because he was so excited about his business and he didn’t want to miss anything.
Donald Trump credits only sleeping for three or four hours with staying ahead of his competition. “How does somebody that’s sleeping 12 and 14 hours a day compete with someone that’s sleeping three or four?” he’s said.
Political leaders across the globe run their countries on short spurts of shuteye. President Obama has said he can get by on a four-hour doze. Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher ran the U.K. for a decade, on four hours a night.
The saying “the early bird catches the worm” is meant to tell you that waking before dawn is best if you want to be the best at what you do. If you go to bed early and sleep late, that is a failure symptom that you will not be successful.
2. Are you an Introvert?
A shy kid might look longingly at other kids playing in the schoolyard, afraid and unsure about how to approach them, but an introvert is perfectly content on her own.
Introverts are sometimes called the “walking sleepers”. Introverts usually allow activity to pass by them without participation, indulge in time killing pursuits, taking only the most minor role or unconstructive parts. Introverts are also the solitaire players, the pathological bookworms, the endless crossword puzzlers, the couch potatoes. In order to succeed in business or life, you need to have the ability to sell yourself, you need social skills. You don’t have to be the life of the party but you must be able to be comfortable at the party.
3. Are you drinking more than 2 drinks daily? This is a failure symptom
Drinking heavily brings on a waking sleep. Drinking affects your ability to think straight and handicaps the drinker. You will not be able to contribute fully in staff meetings, argue sensibly, plan or be proactive if you are under the influence of alcohol.
4. Extreme extroverts
“I always thought I was an extrovert until I became a theatre major. Then I realized I just didn’t like silence.”
― Cora Carmack, Losing It
Do you count the day lost if you did not attend a dinner party, go to a movie theatre, dancing at a club or hanging out with friends? To be successful you need time alone to plan, to be creative and to ponder your next move.
5. Having no goals is a symptom of failure
Dr William Menninger says “a fellow must know where he wants to go, if he is going to get anywhere”
No goals are bad enough but low goals are worst. Is your goal to just keep your job and make just enough money to pay your bills? Is it to live to retirement and then collect social security? Or is it to be the top player in the “candy crush” video game?
The bible says “people without a vision will perish”. Not necessarily physical death, but spiritual death. It is exhilarating to work towards a goal. Happiness is defined as working towards a goal.
“We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we’ve established for ourselves.”
The great leaders and legends of our time, all had goals, vision, mission and as they achieved one goal, they started on the next.
Join me for a Free webinar on how to set and achieve clear goals, how to create vision and mission statements, how to motivate your staff to excel and how to create influence.
The healing influence of, happiness, travels literally at the speed of light. Like a single inspiring thought that goes out on the internet and reaches millions of people in just a few hours; Happiness, multiplies exponentially, replacing chaos, confusion, and conflict with order, clarity, and peace.
Why do we all want happiness? Everybody wants to be happy.
Happiness, cannot be seen or touched, it is Spiritual. There are two types of, happiness: The first kind of, happiness, comes from things turning out the way we’d like them to. This is known as, happiness, for a reason. We say, “I’m happy because I have a family and friends,” or “I’m happy because I am in a relationship,” or “I’m happy because I’m going on vacation,” and so on.
This kind of, happiness, is inherently fleeting because it depends on external reasons that can be taken away from us at any time. Although we tend to avoid thinking about it, we can lose our friends, our job, our savings, our health, and our loved ones at any time.
These are temporary, external sources of, happiness, that come and go like a passing breeze. But real, happiness, can only flow from the inside out. It cannot be achieved by depending on people, things, employment etc. In the movie “show me the money” Tom Cruise made popular the phrase “you complete me” I know it sounds good and we all would like to know that someone feels that way about us; but someone else cannot truly complete us. Only God is our source of true, happiness. He promises to “never leave you or forsake you.
Laughter – Laughter, is a symptom of spirituality. Laughter, is the flow of love coursing through your body. Laughter, is the nectar of present moment awareness. Invite more, laughter, into your life and relish the magic in every moment.
I am a very happy person. I have massive amounts of energy, I laugh frequently and smile naturally all the time. Once in a while something or someone would knock me off my, happiness, perch; but I don’t linger there. I immediately seek out my Happy place. Remember the movie “Happy Gilmore“? You can’t be your best if you are not in your happy place.
My Happy places are: Taking a walk in nature, either on the beach or in the park. When I lived in Toronto, and it was cold outside, I would take a drive, or watch a funny movie and laugh till I cried, or read a love story. You have to know your happy place and go there often. When you play and laugh with abandon, you enter into the present moment, which is the only place where you can experience happiness.
Happiness is love
Unconditional love – Love is a spiritual emotion. Physiology has a truly alarming statistic that states that if a mother gives up on a child he or she becomes truly lost. If the entire world gives up on him or her the child would still have hope; but if the mother is still supporting him, regardless of how many people write him/her off, that child can change and turn his or her life around.
That is why God hard wired, unconditional love, into mothers. The Disney movie Maleficent does an awesome job with this theory with the love of a mother substitute! The message, the only true love is the love of a mother! I love Angelina Jolie, she is my hero. When you love unconditionally, you access your spiritual realm and radiate happiness from the inside out. The object of your love is able to feel that love and revel in it.
When we don’t practice, unconditional love, we experience pain, doubt, and unhappiness. Love isn’t a capricious emotion but is a state of being. It is an experience of unity with all creation. In spirit we are pure love. We don’t have to search outside ourselves for love, because love is our essence.” David Simon
The peace from meditation contributes to happiness
3 Meditation– Allows us to tap into your own inexhaustible source of inner peace, fulfillment, spiritual development, personal development and self- awareness. The essence of, meditation, is experiencing our innate wholeness, the unity of our body, mind, and spirit. True, happiness, is an internal state of consciousness that allows us to be happy for no reason at all.
It is independent of the circumstances, events, people, and things in our lives. This, happiness, comes from the realization that our true self isn’t our body, thoughts, emotions, personality, possessions, accomplishments, relationships, or any other time-bound attribute.
Our essential nature is pure, unbounded consciousness, also known as the field of all possibilities. The attributes of this field include happiness, love, timelessness, compassion, creativity, wisdom, silence, and grace. This state of consciousness can only be accessed through the stillness of meditation.
4 Replace Fear with Love – One of the clouds that obscure our innate state of, happiness, and block our spiritual awakening is unnecessary fear and anxiety. This fear is a negative emotion that causes anxiety, inflammation and pain. The root cause of this fear, is because we are afraid of rejection, failure, intimacy, embarrassment, abandonment, loss, the unknown, being judged, being alone, losing control, expressing our true feelings, and so many other things.
Spiritual Life Coaching can help you release the grip that fear has on you by expanding your awareness to the pure potentiality of your true self and nature, which is infinite, whole, and unbounded.
5 Become Conscious – In my book “Becoming Conscious, My Awakening” I write about becoming conscious of my spirituality, becoming conscious of Synchro-destiny, a term this is used to label that every moment is as it should be, and that there are no coincidences in life. Everything is preordained.
When you accept this fact, then you will live more in the moment because you realize that in this moment is where miracles happen. The bible says “seek and you will find” if you look for the miracles of life, you will find them and then you will, radiate Happiness, from the inside out.
Just as a radiant sunrise can be hidden behind the clouds, our inner happiness can become obscured by constricted awareness, limiting thought patterns, and emotional turmoil. Yet no matter how long we have been lost in fear and limitation, we can learn to rise above the clouds of conditioning and awaken to the source of, happiness, within us.
About Myrna Morris Young
Myrna Morris Young is a Certified Professional Spiritual, Life and Executive Coach and President and CEO of MyHELPS Inc. She resides in Fort Myers, FL.
The mission of MyHelps Inc. is to help you identify and achieve the goals that are necessary in order to improve the quality of your professional and spiritual life. At the moment of conception our purpose and personalities are predetermined and set in place. Personal and business life coaching helps discover and unveil that purpose along with your passions and inner strengths.
It is like the, seed, put in the soil – the more one sows, the greater the harvest. ~~~~Orison Swett Marden
The Law of the Harvest and Seed Planting is one of the Universal Laws.
We are all familiar with the Laws of Gravity. We know that if we jump off a building we will fall to the ground. We know that if an apple rolls off a table it will fall to the ground. Only in space we see things floating around. I was watching a movie recently where someone vomited in space and the vomit well ….you get the picture. It did not fall to the ground!
The, Law of the Harvest, can literally refer to the Power of the, seed. You can’t harvest without first planting a, seed. See an excerpt below on planting and harvesting Lettuce: Lettuce can be started from, seed, or from plants. Some gardeners like to direct, seed, their lettuce but many prefer to start transplants and then move them into the garden after they get off to a good start.
Lettuce, seed, germinates best in moderate to cool temperatures with soil temperatures of 75 degrees being about ideal. The, seeds, are small and flat so some, seed, companies now offer palatalized, seed, for easier more accurate seeding and germination. Lettuce, seed, won’t germinate well if buried too deep so cover them with about 1/4 inch of light sand or screened compost.
Press them lightly on the surface to firm soil or growing media against the seed and then mist them well to thoroughly moisten. One mistake many gardeners make when direct seeding lettuce out in the garden is to not prepare a fine textured, smooth, seed, bed.
Planting Seeds of lettuce
Scattered into chunky, crusty soil lettuce, seed, will seldom make a good stand. Keep the, seeds, moist until they sprout and get off to a good start. If a, seed, dries out at any time during the germination process it will die. If you start, seed, outdoors it helps a lot to place a row cover fabric over the seed row, suspended to prevent the row cover from getting pressed into the soil surface with watering or rains. The row cover helps to keep the, seeds, from drying out quickly in the sun and drying wind.
Remove the cover to water the, seeds, once or twice a day to keep them moist. Use a mister nozzle on the water hose to prevent blasting the seeds away. Gardeners often tend to plant more lettuce than they need. Think about it. How many heads or plants of leaf lettuce do you eat a week?
Plant enough to last a couple of weeks and a few extras to allow for some that won’t make it. Scatter the seeds one half to an inch apart. It is really easy to plant them too thick. Then when you try to thin the seeds it’s difficult not to do significant damage to the remaining plants. Plant Care Lettuce performs best if you keep it growing well with adequate soil moisture and moderate fertilization. Water transplants in with a dilute solution of soluble fertilizer according to label instructions.
Repeat this application twice weekly for a couple of weeks to ensure the new plants are off to a good start. A light application of dry fertilizer when the plants have been in about two weeks should take them on through their harvest time. Sprinkle one half cup of a 3-1-2 or 4-1-2 ratio fertilizer per 10 foot of planting row. Then lightly scratch it into the surface and water it in well. Lettuce is shallow rooted so avoid deep cultivation.
Stay ahead of weeds so you don’t disturb the lettuce plants later when removing large competing weeds. Light, shallow cultivation is best. You can mulch the best when plants are well on their way. This will also help prevent soil from splashing onto the leaves during rain or irrigation. Problems Lettuce used to be plagued by several diseases that could wipe out plantings.
Most modern varieties have some good resistance built in, but at times during wet periods some fungal rots and mildews may show up. I suggest that should such a problem arise just pull out affected plants and keep the new plantings coming rather than resort to sprays, especially since by the time some rot shows up it is too late to do that plant much good with a spray.
Lettuce is fairly cold hardy and will tolerate light frosts with little to no damage. Young seedlings are more prone to freeze damage. Harvest Head types are best harvested after they develop a firm head. Bibb lettuce is ready to harvest when the plants have reached about their full size and the leaves are just starting to cup inward slightly as if to form a loose head.
Leaf lettuce can be harvested at any time from when you are thinning young plants on. But is it best to either harvest older leaves, leaving the plants to grow for later harvests or cut entire plants out when they reach near full size for the variety. I generally make harvest decisions based on how much other lettuce is coming along for later harvest. If I have plenty on the way I’ll pull more plants when they are younger. If not then I may just harvest outer leaves to get more later on from the older plants.
The laws of the harvest can be applied to all areas of life.
The Law’s most popular text reference is from the book of Galatians in the Bible which reads, “For whatever a man sows that and that only is what he will reap.” Most people are inclined to ask the “why” question when things happen to them. In most instances the answer is found in this law. You are simply reaping the harvests of what you have previously sown.
Whenever you get results you do not desire, begin to interrogate what kind of, seeds, you have been planting. From the lettuce illustration above; if you plant lettuce, seeds, you will not reap or harvest cabbage. Thus the reference that you always, reap what you sow!
The reason why some probably do not have happiness is because they don’t sow happiness. When you sow strife you reap strife. This is why it is necessary to carefully analyze what seeds you plant in your relationships, be it with your friends, family, or business associates.
The quality of that relationship is solely premised on the, seeds, you plant with your actions and words. If you plant mistrust, you will reap mistrust. One of the best advice I have every received on seed planting in relationships was “treat your marriage and relationships like a bank account, you have to make more deposits than withdrawals or you become overdrawn”.
Every time you give of yourself or serve another, you are planting seeds that will grow into a harvest. I believe that even if you are planting into a relationship now that does not bear fruit, you will still harvest in another relationship or in your job or in your children! So keep planting.
Another, law of the harvest, is that you will reap according to the measure that you sow. The Law states that: “He who sows sparingly and grudgingly will also reap sparingly and grudgingly and he who sows generously will also reap generously and with blessings.”
Once you have identified the kind of harvest you desire, it is important to realize that again you determine the amount of harvest you receive with the amount of, seed, you plant. In the illustration above the farmer planted much more, seed, than was necessary for the harvest because he knew that some will die, either from decease, from thinning, or from rocky soil.
If the, seed, you are planting is for the, harvest, of a promotion then you have to work harder than the rest and stand out. If the, seed, you are planting is to harvest a spouse, then you have to plant trust, service, love, affection, stability, and much more, seeds, than the other suitors.
We Reap In Proportion to What We Sow
The promise and warning of Scripture is that we reap what we sow. This means that life’s choices are filled with consequences both good and bad — Reaping what we sow means we reap only what has been sown, we reap in kind as we sow, we reap in a different season than we sow, we reap more than we sow, but we also reap in proportion to what we sow.
We Reap More Than We Sow
No fact is more significant and sobering than this one. When we sow good, we bountifully receive from the hand of God who is debtor to no man; for the harvest is always greater than the seed planted. If this were not the case, no farmer would ever plant a thing; if he only got back what germinated in the ground.
He would be on the losing end and spend his life in utter futility. Reaping more than we sow is fundamental to the Laws of the Harvest and this is not just true for the agricultural world, it is true for nearly every aspect of life: for the physical and the spiritual, for believers and unbelievers alike. This law works in reverse as well. When we sow evil, we will generally reap more evil than we sowed as well.
Just knowing these alone alone is not enough! Application of the Laws and conforming to them will always give the expected result.
Some people are in the habit of expecting way too much than what they give in. A salesperson who does not do the activity of calling on customers or engaging in the sales activity; but who hopes to get lucky by customers falling in his or her lap soon finds out that the, Law of the Harvest, is finite.
“You can’t reap what you don’t plant” Only miracles supersede and defy these laws. The effort you put in determines the outcome you receive. Always! Another law is that the harvest follows planting and not vice versa. Some people are naïve to say the least. They expect to reap first then they harvest. That is absurd.
You first sow then you reap. How miraculous would it be that you find a field of lettuce and no one planted any, seeds, or seedlings? I would bet that you would not eat that lettuce because you would be suspicious of where it came from. So expecting the rewards before you do the work is ludicrous. You have to plant the seed, you have to water every day, you have to fertilize, you have to make sure the plants get sunlight, you have to protect from pests; only then you can taste the sweetness of the harvest.
Are you eating your seed?
Most average and poor people are guilty of this statement, “we don’t give because we don’t have.” The reality is the opposite however; you don’t have because you don’t give. Someone told me a great analogy once at a party. “If your hands are closed, then not only can you not give, but you also cannot receive” so make sure your hand is open to give and to receive.
Everyone has a seed which will take them to a next level of plenty (with regard to the seed sown). The problem is most people think they should have plenty in order to plant. That is why some people need thousands to start a business while some can start from just a few dollars. I read about a lady who borrowed $3000.00 from family and friends to start her own business as a pottery consultant. I don’t remember the name of her company but she purchased pots and pans and taught people how to cook in those pots and pans. She had just sold her Company to Warren Buffet for 900 million! God can do a lot with very little!
The last Law of Harvests I will share states that, “There is always a time interval between planting and harvesting.”
You sow in a different season from the one you reap in. Most people cannot endure the season of waiting for the, harvest, which is why they do not plant at all. They seek instant gratification so they would rather eat the seed, rather than plant it and wait for the harvest. They do something today and expect results tomorrow.
There is nothing like that! You can’t circumvent the, Law of the Harvest! You miss or eliminate a step and you get no lettuce or fruit. If you decide that to plant and not water, your seedlings will die. If you start watering and caring for the soil and there is no seed planted you reap nice dirt!
You have to plant, water, protect and wait for the, harvest. You plant your, seed, in the spring and harvest in the summer or fall. Remember that for everything you need in life, there is a seed that you can plant. Everything that you have ever wanted in your life can be planted and you will begin to enjoy the benefits of the laws of harvests.
If you plant nothing you reap nothing. Start planting the, seeds, that give you the results you require. Remember if you eat your, seed, there can be no, harvest. Everyone has something they can plant!
These laws can be applied to your Academics, Spiritual life, Finances, Relationships, Career, Business and anywhere else you desire to see results.
Myrna Morris Young is a Spiritual Life and Executive Leadership Coach And President and CEO of Myhelps Inc. You can reach her by Phone: 954-999-6125 by Skype at Myrna.Young.3 Or by Email:email@example.com Web: http://www.myhelps.us She is also the Author: “Becoming Conscious, My Awakening”
As a, sales manager, you have a team of 10 sales persons: Two are overachievers and the other eight are happy being average. You know they have the potential to do so so much more… What do you do?
• How do you find out what really motivates them?
• How do you offer, feedback, that inspires instead of deflates?
The Sandwich Technique of Giving Feedback
Think of your favorite sandwich… It has bread on top, lots of juicy meat and condiments in the middle and bread at the bottom again.
In the, Sandwich technique, of giving feedback, the top of the bun represents the good things you see your salesperson doing.
Eg “Patty you did an awesome job on that PowerPoint presentation. You kept your audience interested, you listed facts and supported them, your tonality was awesome and you had good volume. Excellent job; BUT….”
Now you get to the middle of the, sandwich technique, the meat. This is where you offer, feedback, on what Patty could have done better to close the sale. Phycologist’s reports that people are more receptive to hear negative, feedback, after you make them feel good with a positive comment.
The reason men in bars lead with flattery!
Feedback must be genuine
However, Your, feedback, is not going to get the desired result if you are not genuine with your praise, the same way if you use a tired overused line at the bar! You get nowhere and the party feels insulted. So dig deep and find something genuinely good to lead off the, feedback. In our case study, Patty gave an awesome presentation, but she did not get the sale. So we pick up at:
Excellent job Patty but; the customer said that they needed to check out other suppliers before they made their decision. It might be a good idea to ask your salesperson what she feels she did wrong. If she says that she felt the customer needed to compare before they bought, you can tell her that they would have made a decision if she had SOLD them on the product by offering a solution to satisfy their real need behind the want.
The meat: Excellent Job with the presentation Patty but the customer did not buy. I believe the reason is because you did not identify and therefore could not offer a solution to the real need.
The customer told you they needed to purchase a new computer system because their old system does not give them enough storage capacity. Your presentation focused on listing our product with features highlighting our iCloud storage. If you had qualified the customer more thoroughly and understood why they needed more storage, you could have tailored your presentation to highlight the unique features of our product to satisfy the real need and eliminated our competitors.
I have a suggestion, for the next month, when you meet with customers for the first time, I want you to really understand their needs behind the want. Ask questions like “I understand your need to have more storage. What would more storage really give you?” The customer may say, something like “We would be able to look back at data for 5 years and understand our customer’s buying history. We also would be able to really identify trends and analyze what worked and what did not work.”
No, sandwich, is complete without the bread at the bottom. So you end with encouragement. To finish off your, feedback, you could say something like “You can become the star on this team, you just need to tweak your qualifying questions to understand the customer’s needs and you will see your close rate shoot through the roof.”
This, sandwich technique, is the best way to give, feedback, to your subordinates. It motivates instead of deflates!
Spirituality, allows us to tap into awareness to overcome life’s difficult moments. Why is life so difficult? It can be said that if you are not facing challenges, you are dead! The bible says teaches “like fish caught in a net, problems show up unexpectedly.” Somehow life manages to bring difficult problems, the causes of untold suffering and struggle.
How you, solve problems, makes all the difference between the promise of success and the specter of failure. Successful people look at solutions while unsuccessful people only see the problem.
Eckhart Tolle says “we should live life accepting what comes our way; not being too happy when good things happen to us and not being too sad when bad things happen to us. Live in the now”.
What is spirituality?
Spirituality, begins with a decisive answer to that question. Spirituality, or of the spirit are our thoughts. The concept is that life isn’t random, there is a pattern and purpose to every existence. Deepak Chopra calls this Synchro-destiny. Every moment is pre-destined, it is as it should be. The reason that challenges arise is simple: to make us more aware of our inner purpose and Destiny.
When your awareness expands, events that seemed random begin to arrange themselves in a pattern; you become aware of a larger purpose and notice these events are actually related to the greater whole. Just as our bodies operate in a state of Homeostasis; in a similar way events and coincidences are all connected and are part of God’s plan for your purpose.
When you become aware of that purpose (which is unique for each person) you become like an architect who has been handed a blueprint. Instead of laying bricks and fitting pipes at random, the architect can now proceed with confidence that he knows what the building should look like and how to construct it.
Spirituality and Awareness
The first step in this process is recognizing what level of awareness you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action. There are three levels of, awareness. Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward becoming a sorcerer.
Level 1: Contracted Awareness
This is the level of the problem, and therefore it immediately grabs your attention. All you see is the problem. Something has gone wrong. Expectations have turned sour. You face obstacles that don’t want to move. As resistance mounts, your situation still doesn’t improve. If you examine the level of the problem, the following elements are generally present:
Your desires are thwarted. Something you want is meeting with opposition. You feel as if every step forward is a battle.
You keep doing more of what never worked in the first place.
There is an underlying anxiety and fear of failure.
As frustration mounts, your energy is depleted. You feel more and more exhausted.
You can tell if you are stuck at the level of contracted awareness by one simple test:
Do you feel like the more you struggle to get free of the problem, the more you are trapped in it? In addition the law of attraction states that what you think about you bring about. The end result is that you get on the wave of negative thoughts that attract more of the same so not only does your problem not get resolved; but you attract more problems into your circumstance. Meditating on positive thoughts, smiling, prayer, repeating positive mantras or scriptures are ways to create positive energies and break the negative cycle.
Level 2: Expanded Awareness
This is the level where solutions to, solve problems, begin to appear. Your vision extends beyond the conflict, giving you more clarity. For most people this level isn’t immediately available, because their first reaction to a crisis is to contract and feel the pain of the situation. They become defensive, wary, and fearful. But if you allow yourself to expand, you will find that the following elements enter your awareness:
The need to struggle begins to diminish. You put the problem in God’s hands.
You start to let go. You stand on the principle that all roads lead to your destination
More people connect with you. You get council
You approach decisions with confidence.
You meet fear realistically (fear is perceived) and it starts to lessen.
With clearer vision, you no longer feel confused and conflicted.
You can tell that you have reached this level of, awareness, and, spirituality, when you no longer feel stuck; a process has begun. With greater expansion, unseen forces come to your aid. You move forward according to what you desire from your life.
Level 3: Spirituality is Pure Awareness or Enlightenment
This is the level where no problems exist. You have transcended suffering as Buddha did. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. What makes this possible is that awareness can expand without limits.
Although it may seem that it takes long time to have true mastery of your mind and get on the spiritual path to reach pure awareness; the truth is exactly the opposite. At every moment pure awareness is in contact with you, sending creative impulses. All that matters is how open you are to the answers being presented. When you are fully open, the following elements will be present: There is no struggle.
You are present in the now. Your mind is not busy with noise about the past or anticipating the future.
Desires reach fulfillment spontaneously.
The next thing you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You are a benefit to yourself and your surroundings.
The outer world reflects what is happening in your inner world.
You feel completely safe. You are at home in the Universe.
You view yourself and the world with compassion and understanding.
To be completely established in pure awareness is enlightenment, a state of unity with everything in existence. Ultimately, every life is moving in that direction. Without attaining the final goal, you can tell that you are in contact with, pure awareness, if you feel truly yourself, in a state of peace and freedom.
Each of these levels brings its own kind of experience. This can be easily seen when there is a sharp contrast or a sudden change. Love at first sight takes a person without warning from contracted awareness to expanded, awareness, and is a spiritual experience.
Instead of relating in the normal social way, suddenly you see immense appeal, even perfection, in one other person. In creative work there is the “Aha!” experience. Instead of wrestling with a blocked imagination, suddenly the answer presents itself, fresh and new! No one doubts that such epiphanies exist.
They can be life changing, as in the so- called peak experience, when reality is flooded with light and a revelation dawns. What people don’t see is that expanded awareness should be our normal state, not a moment of extraordinary difference.
Spirituality does not mean no problem
Listening to people tell their stories of problems, obstacles, failure, and frustration (an existence trapped in contracted awareness) one sees that reaching a new vision is critical. It is all too easy to get lost in particulars.
The difficulties of facing each challenge are often overwhelming. No matter how intensely you feel your situation, which has its own unique difficulties, if you look to the right and left, you will see others who are just as caught up in their situations.
Strip away the details, and what remains is a general cause of suffering: lack of awareness that everything is impermanent. Unless you are shown how to expand your, awareness, you have no choice but to experience the state of contraction caused from pain and suffering.
Just as the body flinches when faced with physical pain, the mind has a reflex that makes it draw back when faced with mental pain. Tony Robbins says that “people move away from pain and towards pleasure” Here again, a moment of sudden contrast makes it easy to experience what contraction feels like. Imagine yourself in any of the following situations:
You are a young mother who has taken your child to the playground. You chat for a moment with another mother, and when you turn around, you can’t see your child.
At work you are sitting at your computer when someone casually mentions that there are going to be layoffs, and by the way, the boss wants to see you.
You open your mailbox and find a letter from the Internal Revenue Service and you remembered that you do not have your receipts.
While driving you approach an intersection when, out of the blue, a car behind you swerves past your car and runs a red light.
You walk into a restaurant and see your spouse sitting with an attractive companion. They are leaning in toward each other, holding hands and talking in low voices.
Changes in awareness result in Anger
It doesn’t take much imagination to feel the sudden change of, awareness, that these situations provoke. Panic, anxiety, anger, and apprehension flood your mind; these are the result of brain changes as the lower brain takes precedent over the higher brain, triggering the release of adrenaline as part of an array of physical responses known as the stress response.
Any feeling is both mental and physical. The brain gives a precise representation of what the mind is experiencing, drawing on infinite combinations of electrochemical signals coursing through one hundred billion neurons. A brain researcher can pinpoint with ever-increasing accuracy exactly those regions that produce such changes.
What cannot be seen on an MRI is the mental event that incites all these changes, because the mind functions at the invisible level of awareness or consciousness. We can take these two terms as synonyms, but let’s explore them a little.
Spirituality, deals with your state of awareness. It isn’t the same as medicine or psychotherapy. Medicine deals in the physical aspect where bodily changes occur. Psychotherapy deals with a specific difficulty, such as anxiety, depression, or actual mental illness. Spirituality confronts awareness directly.
It aims to produce higher consciousness. In our society this is seen as less real than the other ways of approaching problems. In times of trouble, people cope as best as they can with a swirling confusion of fear, anger, mood swings, and everyday struggle. It doesn’t even occur to them to pair the two words, spirituality, and solution in the same sentence; this points to a limited vision about what spirituality really is, and what it can do for you. We must incorporate our non-physical being with our physical body to solve everyday problems.
Entrepreneurship, is defined as the management and organization of a Business or Enterprise with considerable initiative and risk. The risk and high volatility of the, entrepreneurial business, is the life blood of the, capitalist society.
Because of the high risk of failure of the, Entrepreneurship, (statistics says 1 in every 10 businesses will succeed) it is of paramount importance to have an effective, Leader, at the helm.
Here are ten of the most important characteristics of Entrepreneurship:
Passionate - In, entrepreneurship, you must care about people above profits. People encompass your customers, your employees and your community.
Driven - As an, entrepreneur, you must be self motivating and have a burning desire to succeed
Humility - "I believe the first test of a truly great man is in his humility". -John Ruskin Visionary
Vision - "The most pathetic person is a person who has sight but no vision". -Helen Keller
In, entrepreneurship, you must have vision. Where do you see your company in 5 or 10 years? Are you able to recognize trends? Are you able to be innovative and re-inventive? If not, your company will become obsolete.
"Where there is no vision, everything will fail. Your business will fail, your marriage will fail, you will stumble in your spiritual life, your money will disappear, you will get fat and flabby and you will go no where in life!" - Peter Drucker.
The bible teaches "people without a vision, will perish". Not in the physical body but you will become spiritually dead. Vision is the blood that circulates in your organization and keeps it alive. Pull your dreams gently out of the clouds, write them down, work with an Executive Coach to design action steps; only then it becomes a vision.
5. Loyalty - "A person who deserves my loyalty receives it". - Joyce Maynard
Entrepreneurship, is about, leadership. A, leader, who has no followers is only out for a walk! Loyalty is the glue that keeps your employees and customers bound to you. Reciprocate it.
6. Charismatic - Entrepreneur leaders, are essentially very skilled communicators. Individuals who are verbally eloquent; but also able to communicate to followers on a deep, emotional level. They are able to articulate a compelling or captivating vision, and are able to arouse strong emotions in followers. Charisma is not a must have characteristic but a nice to have.
7. Risk taker - With great risks come great rewards. Nothing ventured nothing gained. An, Entrepreneur Leader, must take risks to win!.
8. Strength and Courage - Courage, confidence, self reliance, and persistence are the characters needed to overcome obstacles and reach the goals in life that really matter to you and your company.
Spiritual strength - which includes mental and emotional strength are also important characteristics to add. When you are able to surrender to God, and have confidence that you are on purpose; you tap into the organizing power of the Universe. The power that supports all living things, the power greater than yourself.
As goes the King goes, so does the Kingdom. Your business and your career rises and falls according to the strengths or weaknesses of its Leader. You are the lid! A Spiritual Life and Executive Coach can help you push past limiting beliefs, and help you build that courage and confidence muscle.
9. Maverick - Entrepreneurship, is about becoming a Maverick. Mavericks are talented and truthful to the point of bluntness. Mavericks break rules, not out of spite but because the rules don't work. They are highly goal orientated, charismatic, and will question anything and everything!
Mavericks are, Leaders, who eagerly make business decisions that fly in the face of business-as-usual. They deliberately turn traditions up-side-down or shut them out altogether, looking instead for new "disruptive" ideas and creative people, and in doing so find themselves on a joyous ride to success. Steve Jobs (Apple) and Richard Branson (Virgin) are often marked as 'mavericks'.
10. Passionately Serving - You have to be a servant to lead effectively. “I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” ― Albert Schweitzer
About Myrna Morris Young
Myrna Morris Young is a Certified Professional Spiritual, Life and Executive Coach and President and CEO of MYHELPS Inc. She resides in Fort Myers, FL and has an office in Fort Lauderdale, FL.
The mission of MyHelps Inc. is to help you identify and achieve the goals that are necessary in order to improve the quality of your professional and spiritual life. At the moment of conception our purpose and personalities are predetermined and set in place. Personal and business life coaching helps discover and unveil that purpose along with your passions and inner strengths.
Fear, is an, energy, and thoughts are the most powerful, energy, force in the universe. The best way to, overcome fear, is to understand that is is made up. Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of, negative thoughts, is, fear. It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
If you allow, fear, to linger in your body and in your mind, It will not only attract the thing you, fear, the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to, negative thoughts, or, fear. Negative thoughts, transform your body into an acidic state.
This is how to, overcome fear, look it in the eye and call it false.
Fear, is a, negative thought, magnified to the 1000th degree.
In, fear, mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell!
Unfortunately, your brain cannot detect the difference between your imagination and reality, so the person in the grip of fear cannot tell the difference. You, overcome fear, by understanding it is “False Evidence Appearing Real.”
Using Positive Energy to overcome Fear
Today I want to teach you how to use, positive energy to, overcome fear, and negative energy. But first I want to review one of the Spiritual Laws of the Universe.
We all know of the physical laws like, Gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are Spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the spiritual “Law of Sowing and reaping” can change your world.
The best way to, overcome fear, is understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world of your thoughts will manifest in the physical world.
Put another way, that means whatever you plant in the fertile soil of your mind, will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree. Except that in the spiritual world;
The soil is your mind, The seeds are your thoughts,
The water are your actions,
And The sun is your feelings.
If you allow, fear, to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.
Energy flows where Attention Goes
Whatever you focus on expands.
Fear is Negative Energy
Everything is, energy, and all, energy, attracts similar energies.
You can’t put out, negative energy, and expect positive results.
You can’t plant apple trees and expect oranges.
Likewise, you can’t focus on what you, fear, and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you, fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal Law of Reaping and Sowing, it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind
“You become what you think about”
When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.
How to overcome fear
Exercise: How to, overcome fear, write down something that is opposite of what you, fear, and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your, fear.
Since light conquers darkness, it will eventually, overcome fear, for lunch!
Imagine you having fun traveling the world in crystal clear clarity.
Say daily affirmations that compliments your desire.
Visualize your goal so much that sometimes you are not sure what is imagined and what is reality;
the same way that you let fear take you out of reality.
Don’t get disappointed if it takes time to perfect this. Remember that positive things take time to manifest,
it is the negative ones that show up quickly.
Weeds will sprout up, negative thoughts, of failure will sprout up.
So, every morning find the weeds and dig them up.
Remember a successful gardener will always cultivate his land.
Cultivate your mind for success.
Life is energy, whatever you put out, is returned to you.
The mind does not care what seeds you plant; it will always return what you plant.
You can plant wealth or you can plant poverty.
You can plant fear or you can plant happiness.
How would it be if in the dark of the month, with no moon, I were to enter the most strange and frightening places, near tombs and in the thick of the forest, that I might come to understand fear and terror. And doing so, a wild animal would approach or the wind rustle the leaves and I would think, “Perhaps the fear and terror now comes.” And being resolved to, overcome fear, and the hold of that fear and terror, I remained in whatever posture it arose, sitting or standing, walking or lying down. I did not change until I had faced that fear and terror in that very posture, until I was free of its hold upon me … And having this thought, I did so. By facing the, fear, and terror I became free.
Do not Fear: Definition of fear
Fear – False objects appearing real, as per the about passage, can be released by standing your ground. Our instinctive reaction to, fear, is to turn and run because as humans we are hard wired to run from pain and towards pleasure. But, as the Buddha teaches in the passage above if you stand and have the courage to not move, you become free you, overcome fear, and realize that your imagination is always worse than the reality.
Let me share a personal story on how I, overcame fear, and, removed negative energy from my home.
When I first came to the United States of America, I came as a business owner. I did not have any of the benefits of a permanent resident. As my business was building, I decided to earn money as a sales person selling vacations. I was not authorized to work in the US, so I became very fearful of being found out and being deported. Every night I would dream that the immigration officials would come to my house and take me away in handcuffs. Sometimes I would dream that they would throw me in the back of the trunk.
One day, my pastor preached a sermon on how to, overcome fear. He said that God promises to carry your burdens, so give them to God. He said when you give your, fears, and heavy loads to God, you can’t worry or take them back because that would mean that you don’t have faith in God’s promise to carry them. He asked the congregation to write our, fears, and heavy burdens on a piece of paper and ceremoniously throw them at the alter giving them to God.
I wrote my, fear, of being deported on a piece of paper and threw in on the alter. In doing so, I, let go of fear, and became free because I gave it away to someone else, God. The good news is that I no longer was afraid of anything. Every time something came up that would potentially me fearful, I would face it and know that it will work out for my good. I stood on the scripture “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you.”
As Millennials graduate from high school, graduate from college, or get engaged to be married, A formula on, How to Set Goals, should be prominent their minds.
In each stage of life, we should have short term goals and long-term goals. Short term goal are goals you would like to achieve within the year and long-term goals are goals you would like to achieve in let’s say 10 years.
So if we were to pick up goals at a Millennial graduation from College, we should teach her, how to set goals, both short term goals and long term goals. This would probably be get a job and start supporting herself or enroll in higher education.
How to Set Goals like a Champion: Tom Brady
Tom Brady says, The key to success lies in, setting goals, and taking massive action towards the attainment of these, goals.
A hundred years of psychological research has taught us, how to set goals. If you want to improve your chances of succeeding.
A, goal, is a map to your destination. It is like a seed!
Plant strong goals in your mind and it will be the most important decision you make in your life.
Then Care of your planted seed every day.
Tom Brady’s story.
By the mid-2000s Tom Brady was the undisputed king of the gridiron. In 2002 he became the youngest quarterback in the history of the National Football League (NFL) to lead his team to a Super Bowl victory. Two years later, in 2004, he proved the magic was still strong when he led the New England Patriots to their second Super Bowl title in three years.
In addition, Brady was named the Super Bowl’s Most Valuable Player (MVP) in 2002 and 2004. The dimpled, clean-cut quarterback had reached career heights that most veteran football players envied, and he had done it all before he was thirty years old; But HE ONCE HAD SIMPLE DREAMS
In the pride-swallowing days at the University of Michigan, when he was constantly trying to prove that he deserved to start, Brady used to sit up at night with his good friend Aaron Shea and talk about, goals, what they’d do when they made it big.
Shea, a tight end for the Wolverines, used to rattle off the typical 20-year-old dream purchases. He wanted a Hummer and a Ferrari. Then Shea would ask what Brady wanted.
“‘If I hit it real big,’” Shea recalls Brady telling him, “‘I want to be able to wake up, put a pair of socks on, and at the end of the day, I throw ’em away.’
“I’m like, ‘That’s all you want?’ And he goes, ‘Yeah, that’s what I want. I love new socks!’”
But somewhere along the line, he got big dreams. Dreams of being the best!
How to Set Goals like Tom Brady
Brady was so intent on winning and becoming the very best in history to play his position, that after the Patriot’s lost to the Broncos in the AFC championship game in 2016, he had a countdown clock installed in his home gym. I am sure because he wanted to be the undisputed champion and Peyton Manning had won, this round! Competition bring out the best in us.
Throughout the year the countdown clock served as his constant reminder of his, goal. A countdown clock says to his subconscious mind. I will achieve this, goal, it is mine, it’s just a matter of time so I am counting down! That is, how to set a goal!
The world was the witness at Super Bowl 51 of Tom Brady manifesting of this goal. Down by 25 points at the half, Tom Brady and the New England Patriots came back to win the game in overtime making Brady the best ever at the game!
With his mother in attendance at the NRG Stadium in Houston and millions of fans watching, Brady did not disappoint. In a thrilling game, the first that went into overtime in NFL history, Brady led the Patriots to a 34-28 victory over the Atlanta Falcons. With this historic win, Brady became the first quarterback in NFL history to take home five Super Bowl rings.
He surpassed quarterbacks Joe Montana, one of his idols, and Terry Bradshaw, who both have four Super Bowl wins. He also was awarded his fourth Super Bowl MVP for leading a 25-point comeback and throwing a Super Bowl-record 466 passing yards. Super Bowl LI was Brady’s seventh championship, which is also an NFL record for the most Super Bowls played.
Brady failed in his bid to become the best and most decorated quarterback in history when he lost to the Eagles in Super bowl 52; but how many of you know that failure is not final. Brady will be back again and this time he will succeed because when you have a goal and you don’t give up on it, you always win that is why Coach Lombardi advise is “Never, Never give up, Never ever Quit because Quitters never win”
I am sure there will be another count down clock installed in Brady’s locker room for super bowl 53! I am routing for you Tom!
Goals they have a powerful supernatural energy attached to them!
They activate the subconscious to go to work for you.
James Allen teaches how to set goals by controlling your thinking.
Those who have no central purpose or, goals, in their life fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubles, and self-pityings, all of which are indications of weakness, which lead, just as surely as deliberately planned sins, to failure, unhappiness, and loss, for weakness cannot persist in a power evolving universe.
A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose or, goal, in his heart, and set out to accomplish it.
He should make this, goal, the centralizing point of his thoughts. It may take the form of a spiritual ideal, or it may be a worldly object, according to his nature at the time being; but whichever it is, he should steadily focus his thought-forces upon the object, which he has set before him. He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and should devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings.
This is the royal road to self-control and true concentration of thought. Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his goal, the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success, and this will form a new starting-point for future power and triumph.
What this means is if your only goal as you are starting out in life is to get a job with no thought to what God has placed you on this earth to do, then you will become like a garden full of weeds and wild flowers.
Since no one is tending the garden of your mind then anything will grow. This leads to failure, unhappiness and loss.
On the other hand if you set goals either for spiritual attainment, personal accomplishment, or for contribution even when you fail and you will, you will be like Tom Brady and know that given time, success will be yours.
Having conceived of his purpose, a man should mentally mark out a straight pathway to its achievement, looking neither to the right nor the left. Doubts and fears should be rigorously excluded; they are disintegrating elements, which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, useless. Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplished anything, and never can. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease when doubt and fear creep in.
Amy Purdy teaches how to set goals after her near death experience
My daughter sent me a text message last week and said mom you have to listen to this. This is important. So, I dropped everything and listened! I was blown away. Oprah was interviewing <strong>Amy Purdy.</strong
This is her story:
After losing both her legs at age 19 as a result of bacterial meningitis, Amy Purdy survived to lead a life of extraordinary accomplishments. Amy not only survived losing her legs but at one time all her organs were failing, and she actually died. She tells that when she died, two spirits on the other side offered her a choice of staying dead or coming back to life and she shouted No, I don’t want to die!!
She chose life the same way she chose not to be a disabled person who lives an uninspiring life. She chose to set the goal of snowboarding again. She tells the story of how she visualized in detail her achieving this goal. Amy is a Paralympic bronze medalist in snowboarding, and a finalist on “Dancing with the Stars”. Pick up a copy of her book “On My Own Two Feet: From Losing My Legs to Learning the Dance of Life.” To read about her incredible story
So today, I would like to teach you, How to set goals. Goals, that make you want to get up in the morning. Goals, that motivate and inspire you to action.
Do you have a goal to write a book? Is there a testimony that God has purposed you to share?
Click the link below to get Brian Tracy’s 6-Step Book Planning Worksheet,
This simple guide will help writers determine the subject of their book and how to clarify their message, while offering helpful tips on how to gather and organize information. This easy-to-follow planning worksheet will also explain how to tell a story in a logical and captivating manner and how to efficiently outline an entire book, chapter by chapter.
How to Set Goals Step # 1 Start with a road-map
He who doesn’t have a map gets lost.
If you don’t know where you are going, then it doesn’t matter where you end up.
Begin with the end in mind e.g.
• I want to have $500,000 in my bank account at the age of 65, so as not to be a burden to my kids.
• I want to leave a legacy and an inheritance for my children and my children’s children.
• I want to have 3 children, a husband, a good job and own my own home by the time I am 35 years old.
• Tom Brady goal is becoming the best at the sport
• Amy’s goal was to continue doing the things she did with legs and then inspire others along the way.
Knowing where you are going allows you to map the route to your destination.
The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts, the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.
How To Set Goals Step 2: Know Your Why?
What was Tom Brady’s Why?
What was Amy’s why?
He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure. His every thought is allied with power, and all difficulties are bravely met and wisely overcome. His purposes are seasonably planted, and they bloom and bring forth fruit, which does not fall prematurely to the ground.
Why do you want to have $500,000 in your bank account at 65?
• Do you want to travel the world?
• Do you want to be sure you have enough income to last for 30 years after retirement? So as not to depend on your kids or the government to take care of you?
Knowing your why will get you through the tough times.
Characteristics of a Strong Goal: A goal must have 3 characteristics:
It must be specific – $500,000
It must have a date for completion – 65 years old
It must be realistic and achievable – A goal can be just a dream with a date on it
How to Set Goals Step 3: Plan your route
So, you want to have $500,000 in the bank at 65 years old.
If you are 30 years old now and have $10,000 in the bank, what would your route to get you $490,000 in the bank in 35 years?
What kind of investment strategies can get you there?
If you plan to work and get a paycheck then that goal will not realistic or achievable.
There are investment strategies that can get you there.
Buying and selling real estate can get you there.
Speak with a financial planner to put together an investment strategy that will get you to your goal.
Do you want to write a book? If so check out my story in my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement
If you have a 35-year plan to make $490,000.
You should measure your progress on a yearly basis.
At the end of year one, you should be $14,000 richer by year two $28,000 richer than year one and so on and so on.
If by your 40th year, you have made no progress, then you should take a hard look at your financial situation and make some changes.
You have to make changes to the route.
Are you still working and trying to save? We know that is not going to work.
You may have to use Leverage.
Borrow to invest. Get your credit score in shape and borrow to invest in Real Estate. I was listening to the audio book “Self Made” last week and the author said don’t buy shoes, buy buildings! Great advice.
What you shouldn’t do is worry that you would be broke and penniless at 65 years old and have to be placed in a nursing home. I know where your mind goes when you think of yourself as a failure.
Disease and health, like circumstances, are rooted in thought. Sickly thoughts will express themselves through a sickly body. Thoughts of fear have been known to kill a man as speedily as a bullet, and they are continually killing thousands of people just as surely though less rapidly. The people who live in fear of disease are the people who get it. Anxiety quickly demoralizes the whole body, and lays it open to the entrance of disease; while impure thoughts, even if not physically indulged, will soon shatter the nervous system.
How to Set Strong Goals Step 5: Be prepared for the twists and turns in the road
What skills do you need to acquire to achieve this goal?
What contacts do you need?
What additional knowledge do you need?
What resources do you need to accomplish this goal?
Remember that just because you set a, goal, and a destination don’t expect the weather will cooperate and the sky will be sunny for the entire trip.
No. Expect that there will be circumstances beyond your control that will delay you so build in a buffer. Add a few years to your deadline.
In the 30 years to your goal, you will experience set backs. A job loss, a divorce, health issues etc. Don’t let the twists and turns in the road, derail you from your goals.
I heard a story of a mother of two who was laid off and without income. She decided to start selling the things in her home on eBay to pay the bills. She then started a meet up group for other eBay sellers to learn the business. She got information for sourcing discount items from wholesalers to sell on eBay. Obviously, her household items could only get her so far!
At one of these meetup meetings she met an executive from eBay who encouraged her to become a certified ambassador for eBay. That 10Xd her business. Today she has income of over one million dollars annually from eBay sales.
The lesson, setbacks can push you in the direction of your purpose; so change the way you look at failure.
Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being. The sole and supreme use of suffering is to purify, to burn out all that is useless and impure. Suffering ceases for him who is pure. There could be no object in burning gold after the dross had been removed, and a perfectly pure and enlightened being could not suffer.
How to Set Strong Goals Step 6: Seeing your path
Use your imagination to visualize the things you want to accomplish
Visualize in color with all the details!
At 65 years old, what will you look like?
What color would be your hair, what are you wearing?
Where will you be living?
Who will be the partner by your side?
What will the house sound like when the grand children come to visit and run and play all over the house?
What countries will you travel to? How long will you stay?
See with your mind’s eye the entire life you want.
See it, touch it, taste it for 15 mins every day.
If you are a visual person you can use a picture to represent your dream and look at it every day.
Only by much searching and mining, are gold and diamonds obtained, and man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul; and that he is the maker of his character, the molder of his life, and the builder of his destiny.
So, live your life on purpose. Set goals, for achievement, for contribution for fun and play and then go do it!