You can motivate yourself with the 3 P’s Patience Persistence and Positivity. Learn, how to motivate yourself, with the power of, positive thinking.
Introduction to Positive Thinking
Synopsis of, Patience, Let’s say you are stranded in the woods. It is dark and it is cold. You need to make a fire to stay warm and to cook anything you can catch. You find a dry stick and a hollow branch and you set about rubbing the stick and the branch together feverishly. You keep this up, rubbing and blowing patiently hoping to create a spark that could be nursed into a fire. You keep rubbing, and blowing. You have all day and all night….. you have, positive thinking, because if you don’t you will surely freeze to death.
Persistence, – When you get tired you take a short break and then you get back to work. You tell yourself, “The fire will start”.
Positivity, You believe the fire will start. You keep your, positivity, by telling yourself “I will have fire, I will stay warm, I will have food to cook and eat”. You let none of the negative thoughts that pop into your head linger, you send them back immediately. Negative thoughts such as, you don’t know how to a make fire, you are not a cave man, maybe the bush is wet and it will not light, you will die of hunger and cold because no one will find you.
No.. as soon as any of these thoughts come into your mind, you reject them and send them back!. You keep rubbing and blowing with increased vigor. You tell yourself “I shall live and not die”.
I use this vision to encourage myself when I am working hard and not seeing results. I need, patience, to keep on working hard knowing that one day I will succeed. I need, persistence, to do it every day and, positivity, to believe that I will succeed one day.
You can do the same. Find an inspirational story and use it as your map. Some real life examples are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone. Arnold built his empire and muscles,
One bicep at a time.
Arnold had the, patience, and the, persistence, to stick with his dream of becoming a world champion and playing the part of Hercules in the United States of America. His, Patience, Persistence, and, Positivity, assured him success.
Sylvester Stallone had to sell his dog for $50.00 because he was starving; but he had, patience, to wait until someone offered him the starring role for the script for Rocky, Persistence, to keep pedaling it to over 1500 studios in New York and the belief and, positivity, that he will succeed…… and he did.
You write a to-do list… but then you don’t follow through.
And this happens again and again and again. Seriously, what’s the problem?
You are not, motivated, So how do you, motivate, yourself?
Why are we so good at thinking of what to do; but so terrible at actually, motivate yourself, to actually doing those things?
Procrastination is a mood-management technique, albeit (like eating or taking drugs) a shortsighted one. But we’re most prone to it when we think it will actually help… Well, far and away the most procrastination occurred among the bad-mood students who believed their mood could be changed and who had access to fun distractions. Motivate, yourself so you can leave procrastination in the dust.
How to use, Patience, to, Motivate, Yourself
Meryl Streep on, Patience:
I no longer have, patience, for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I, motivate, myself by have a low threshold for time wasters. I have no, patience, for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate.
I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no, patience, for anyone who does not deserve my, patience.”
The Power of Positive Thinking
The most famous work of Dr. Emoto was published in 1999 and is called ‘Messages from Water,’ which has sold millions of copies all over the world. In the book, Dr. Emoto explains in detail that what we say, feel, and what we listen to has an effect on water. The research clearly shows how the power of, positivity, can transform anything in our physical reality. He uses water as an example. Since human beings are made up primarily of water (60-75% depending on the source), water has a direct effect on us.
Dr. Emoto placed rice into three glass beakers and then fills the beakers with enough water to submerge the rice. To the first beaker, he states the phrase (in Japanese): “Thank you,” “You’re an idiot” to the second, and ignores the third.
A month later, the rice that was thanked fermented and gave a pleasant smell. The rice that was affronted turned black. Finally, the rice that was ignored began to rot. These depictions of the rice are clear in the video of the experiment.
In the end, Dr. Emoto is pictured explaining that how we treat children is especially important. According to Emoto, we should take special care in how we interact with them and ensure that attention is given. He explained that indifference does the greatest amount of harm, as demonstrated by the third beaker of rice in the video. It’s amazing how the jar with positive words was still white and fresh, when in our reality we would at least believe that it would definitely start to go bad. Amazing! That’s the power of, positivity, at work.
How to find happiness, after a tough year, your circumstances could be bad. You could have gotten a divorce, you could have lost a job, you could have lost a loved one. Can you find, happiness, after a loss? In the, pursuit of happiness, guru’s teach that, happiness, could only be found on the inside, so we can be happy regardless of losing a loved one, losing our job, a sickness, or divorce.
But the question is portable because we can add anything after the, How to find happiness, after….! We can add, How to find happiness, after my kids leave home, or, how to find happiness, after someone close to me dies, or, how to find happiness, after I lose my job etc..
We can substitute any phrase.
Happiness, comes from the inside.
The Pursuit of Happiness
Happiness, is the universal goal of everyone who has breathe.
Let’s look first at the relationship you have with yourself. Self-love is so important to, happiness.
You have to try very hard to love yourself. If you can’t love yourself no one else can love you.
If you can’t love yourself you can never be happy.
You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.
God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
Find it and give it love every time you look into the mirror.
And if there is something you can change, Change it. If you can’t change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.
You can change your weight, your hair color, your teeth, your wardrobe.
You can’t change your height, your skin color, your sex!
There is no sense whatsoever about being unhappy about something you can’t change about yourself or about something you can change; but won’t.
I just saw one of the most inspiring movies of the decade. Hidden Figures.
As a coach, this movie had so many nuggets.
1. The women were ambitious and they took control of their lives. They did not sit around and blame their skin color.
In one scene, one of the women was bitching that in order to get a promotion she had to upgrade her education.
The problem was that the only school she could do this at was an a white’s only school. So what did she do?
She petitioned the court to change the school to an integrated school. She researched and presented her case to the judge with such passion that the judge had no choice but to grant her the motion.
In another scene, IBM computers were going to make the woman computers obsolete, so the leader of the group took it on herself to learn how to program the computer. She had to steal the programming book from the white’s only library because the colored library had no such books! That is the, pursuit of happiness, working towards a goal.
There is always something you can do to improve your circumstance.
You are either part of the solution or you are part of the problem.
I covered the other 2 ways to find, happiness, in the video.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3 And your relationship with God.
As you can see relationship is key!
We are social beings, we need connection, even if it is with one person.
I would like to end this post with this story.
I was searching the internet for a story on, Happiness, and I came across this movie called “Finding Happiness by Yogi Swami Kriyananda..“
Yogi Swami has Ananda colonies all over the world where people live in harmony and higher consciousness in nature.
Ananda means true joy is within.
Yogi Swami choose to build his colonies in nature because being in the presence of beauty is important to uplifting consciousness.
As you all know the East teaches the importance of meditation.
Meditation allows you to find your sense of security inside, it allows you to find your sense of self inside and when you find these things inside of you, you can never lose it because no one can ever take it away.
The Ananda colonies teaches that if you live to be happy, you will find things that make you happy and the number one thing that makes us happy is selfless service to others.
I also added a bonus audio on “How to control your thoughts”
As you know that, happiness, comes not from what people do to you or your circumstances but how you think about it.
So your internal dialog and your thoughts must be controlled and channeled into positivity and gratitude for you to find, happiness.
I urge you to find all the things that make you happy, and do them.
Find the things that make you happy, make it a necessity to be in nature at least once per week!
I guarantee..
You will not only find, happiness, but you find your bliss!
Namaste
Millennials, need parents teaches or coaches to stimulate their, personal development. Millennials, need to understand that, personal development, comes when they anticipate the very next phase beyond the one there’re in, so they can be prepared for it when it arrives.
Introduction to, Personal Development for, Millennials
Today what we want to focus on is giving, Millennials, some clarity on, personal growth and development. We both know that learning should not stop when we leave school. My guest today is Arika Pierce author of the book The Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting.
Myrna – What advice would you give, Millennials, on, personal growth? Millennials, are in the growth stage of life, what advice would you give them? I know in your book you give ten tips. We don’t have time to talk on all ten, personal development, tips; but pick some of the top ones and share how you would advise, Millennials, on, personal growth and development.
Arika- I think especially after you get out of school, Millennials, are sort of over trying to learn from textbooks. People are just exhausted from that textbook and learning from your professors and things like that; So I do encourage, Millennials, to become students of life.
By that I mean opening your eyes to all the things that you can learn from different people, new experiences just being open to continuing to stretch your horizon and to be multifaceted and to be just a well-rounded person. In my book, for example:
I suggest things such as reading biographies about people that you’re curious about for, personal development, or maybe who you want to know. Learn more about their path.
I also believe that you should do things like watch documentaries on Netflix about different types of topics that you might be interested in or just want to know more about.
I also think listening to podcasts that’s huge for, personal development, and that’s why I love your podcast. I listen to podcast really throughout my day on various types of topics, it could be something around, personal development, by expanding your mindset, it could be something around the news, it could be anything. There’s so much out there that you can really stretch your mind and learn.
Going to different types of events. I always tell people if you get invited, go to something and especially if it’s something that you probably would be interested in doing. Go to the Opera, go to a hockey game even though you don’t know what’s going on, go to a book talk, go to a wine tasting, whatever it is just expand your horizon and, personal development.
Learning does not stop once you walk across the stage. You should always every day be learning more about yourself, about life, about other people, just always be curious and be a student of the world and of life.
Myrna – Awesome, that’s some good advice I love the podcast one because that’s a big one. I actually showed my mom just yesterday how to put podcasts on her phone.
That’s the space that we’re in right now. I will tell you I started listening to podcast just to learn what some of the successful podcasters are doing. If there’s something you want to learn, you go to an event, you go to book signing. That’s why people write books. You can take ten years to learn something or you can take ten minutes to read how someone else did it in a book, and that’s the purpose of books.
I wanted to learn how to be better at what I do, so I started listening to podcast. You would not believe how my mind has been expanded. I subscribe to TuneIn radio, so that I can research how that works and what Hot Talk radio was all about. I happened to come across the Hay House World Summit podcast and you would not believe what I’ve been learning.
I listen to podcasts every morning when I walk. I walk for an hour every day, so I that’s my learning time and I my eyes are wide open because this podcast have guest speakers all the top people in the spirituality and consciousness and health space.
I try to bring good content on this show so that people can plug in and hear something inspiring and mindset shifting. This podcast is not all about shooting the breeze. I went through your book and I made a note of some of the things that you mentioned and I’ll mention a couple of them because it’s very important you talked about:
How Millennials can Shift their mindset for, personal development
• Keeping your mind healthy. You start off by talking about depression. Depression is very big right now. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but a lot of people are depressed, even the ones that you think should be happy, that has a lot of money. Still trouble with depression. You start out by saying, keep your mind healthy and that’s very important when you talk about staying motivated.
• Find a healthy outlet. Journaling, painting, baking, etc and stuff like that that keeps your mind healthy. I talked about journaling, I think it’s great but it’s not for everybody. I think you know it’s not something some people can do it every single day, some people just do it on a periodic basis. I believe don’t be hard on yourself about doing it, but if sometimes you need a place to get your thoughts get your feelings out thinking on paper can honestly be a great way to do that.
• Getting into healthy routines. I just wrote a blog that’s coming out next week about a morning routine. I think establishing a morning routine is a great, personal development, tool and can help you set the intention and tone for the rest of your day and so actually think sitting down and thinking about what you want your routine to be and doing it that could be transformative. I’ve just recently sort of created a new morning routine and it really has changed my mindset for the whole day. Just making sure there are these five or six things that I do before I start my day.
That’s awesome, you know again as you talk my mind goes to certain things and I was just listening to a podcast where Barbara Corrigan was speaking and we all know her from Shark Tank. She has done a lot for herself, she said something that I did as a little variation for what you just said. She said write down the things that you like to do and write down the things you don’t like to do and instead of trying to do the things you don’t like to do, and then find an assistant or an intern and delegate the things you don’t like to do.
If you’re still trying to just figure out what direction you want to go in life, I think that’s a great time to get it to get a, Life coach. Honestly I think the hardest part is just identifying what exactly you need the, Life coach, for sometimes you want the, Life coach, to help you with your, personal development plan, in terms of where you want to take your career.
Sometimes it could be helping you balance your work versus your personal life. You might need a, Life coach just in terms of helping you get to the next level of your dreams and, self improvement. There’s all different types of ways you can leverage and use a, Life coach. I really think that it’s never too soon to do that.
Today, there’s lots of, Life coaches who focus on the, millennial, generation, which I think is great. I think those people really understand what the, millennials, are going through and can really help them work through all of those challenges. I wasn’t focused on the, millennial, generation until I recognized that my daughter being a, millennial, and her struggles and the things that she needs help with and then I put them two and two together.
I thought what there’s lots of people in that bucket that could do maybe good guidance and direction. Yeah so you’re right, I haven’t come across a lot of, millennial, coaches; but I know that, Millennials, are the generation that’s moving the bucket in a lot of areas. That’s because they’re a large group, they’re the movers and the shakers.
So as we continue our discussion on, personal development, as a, millennial, I want to ask this question. In your book Arika, you give advice on how to care for your body so how can we incorporate caring for your body with, personal growth and development?
I believe that when you work on your mind, when you strengthen your mind, a lot of that has to also be your body and soul, they’re all connected. When you are taking care of yourself when you’re eating right, when you’re exercising, I believe your mind is just in a different place. You feel those endorphins, everything is flowing. I had a workout this morning where I came up with three different things while I was working out that I wanted to incorporate.
When you feel good you just can really, transform your mindset, in a very positive way. I believe that when you are you believe that you’re invincible, and start taking care of yourself, eating right, making sure you’re drinking enough water, making sure that you know you’re working out on a regular basis, making sure you’re meditating, when all of those are aligned I believe that your life in terms of what you want to do, in terms of having the energy to do them, all falls into a, personal development plan. You get into the, personal growth and development, space. But you can’t take your body for granted, because we actually only get one and you know if your body isn’t right usually everything else isn’t right either.
That’s awesome, I was listening I was listening to Louise Hay, she was talking about something that she calls the mirror work. She says is that women especially should go in front of the
mirror every day when they wake up, when they look their worst and they should say to themselves, “ I love you, you are so awesome.” I have no problem with self-love, I love myself, but I still do it every morning. I look myself in the eye and I say “I love you you’re awesome.” What she’s trying to do with that little exercise is bring exactly what you’re talking about the mind-body connection. Millennials, have a problem with self love.
Millennials, and Self Love
When you love the body that you’re in, when you love you, then it transcends into every area of your life, it transcends into your, self confidence, it transcends into what you put in your body, how you treat it, how you let people treat you. There’s definitely a correlation with exercise into listening and connecting to your higher self. I wrote my entire first book and it was called ironically “Becoming Conscious, my Awakening” be connecting with my higher self.
I would go for run in the morning and all the words would come to me. I would go to the car right after and start writing. I will tell you if I tried if I tried to circumvent and write at night or something it wouldn’t go as smooth, because then I’ll be trying to force it, but when it just comes to me it came to me when I was running, the words just flowed.
Like when you were exercising this morning. So the mind-body connection is very important, and that’s why I decided to include it in our topic today, because a lot of people do not care for their body and especially when they’re young, millennials, and they don’t have any aches and pains, they kind of ignore it.
I was listening to another podcast just yesterday again on the Hay House World Summit and listened to Ocean Robbins, I love his name, I told my daughter she has to name my grandchild Ocean. He is actually is the grandson of Baskin Robbins and he had an incredible story about how his grandfather ate ice cream all day long, he had at least 21 flavors in his fridge at all times.
He ate ice cream for breakfast and lunch! When he got to 70 years old, he had all these health problems because of the diet that he had all his life. He had heart problems but his story ended well, because started eating well, he started doing certain things, eating well, including cutting out ice cream and he was still able to turn it around. That’s not an encouragement for anybody listening to wait until they’re in their 70’s and in poor health to get started on a, personal development plan, for a healthy lifestyle, but do it now.
How, Millennials, develop a, Personal Development Plan: Jim Rohn
Most, Millennials, are in school, I think a lot of, Millennials, go on to higher education. They’re working on feeding their mind and, personal growth, education and career and things like that. The reason I talked about, personal growth, because as a, Life coach, I know that there’s a difference. Jim Rohn’s personal development growth plan, is a popular, personal development plan. Tony Robbins talks about Jim Rohn’s growth plan in his back story. I would like to hear your spin on the difference between studying for a career and actually, personal growth.
Arika – When we think about, personal growth and development, as you just said that that’s very connected to what you are focused on career-wise, your job. I think when you start to think about what you want to personally achieve for yourself, that may or may not be connected to your professional life, because there definitely is some overlap between the two.
I think really people just have to always think about looking inside and how do they define themselves, outside of their career. Millennials, you’re thinking about how you want to define yourself as a person and defining yourself as a person is not just what your career is and so it’s very easy to get into a life pattern. You only focus and your own the only thing that you know to that you gravitate to in terms of your growth, in terms of your brand.
When you ask “What is your, personal development plan” which is now something I heard from Brian Tracy he talks about you know spending all his money when he was a youngster to purchase something that called a, personal growth, plan. If I was to ask a, Millennial, they might answer in terms of there career trajectory. But that is not a, personal development, plan because it’s only it is only touching on one area of a multi-faceted spiritual being.
Deepak Chopra is one of the people that I follow and I love, he talks about asking “who are you?” who is the person that’s doing the listening right now? You ask yourself these questions “Who am I?” “What am I here to do?” You just ask God that question and even let God answer. Your, personal development plan links up to your purpose.
Learn different ways you can develop your, personal development, business, organization and, personal growth, skills.
Strategies for, personal development, can be found on the Transform Your Mind Podcast.
Does serving a, prison, sentence change your outlook in life? Rocky Singh Kandola talks to us today on the subjects of, rape, child abuse, prison, physical assault, and more.
Listen to the full interview here:
Rocky Singh Kandola is a 33 year old successful Indian businessman born in New York City and currently living in Los Angeles. Rocky owns a showroom in a high traffic area in the downtown area of Los Angeles. He says “I am both a felon and a Philosophy Graduate” Rocky spent his “high school” life in 9 different facilities and, boot camps, around the world, some of which are now closed due to severe, child abuse, rape, and torture. He have almost died at least 8 times. Half of his face and jaw are fake from an attempted murder on his life. He’s been shot, stabbed, kidnapped, and kicked in the face resulting in over 20 major surgeries in his adult life.
How did Rocky end up in Prison
Myrna – Can you tell us your story of what led to you being, incarcerated.
Rocky – I spent a lot of time in different facilities and, boot camps, across the world at a young age. My father was a very traditional Indian parent. Indian kids were supposed to stay home, study and get straight A’s. I was not that kid, I was a lot more outspoken. I was wild and carefree. I wanted to be out and about and party with friends so me and my father bumped heads often.
I was sent to my first worldwide association of specialty program, boot camp, at age 15. Paris Hilton recently shed a lot of light on these, child abuse, boots camps, in her documentary.
Myrna – Oh my gosh, I saw her documentary.
Rocky – I went to one of the, boot camps, that were outside of the U.S, this one was in Mexico. Keep in mind these are for-profit businesses that operate in very manipulative ways towards the parents as well as towards the children in order to further their business.
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My parents didn’t really know about the trauma the, child abuse, the, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or the, mental abuse, that was going on at these, boot camps. They would tell the parents your kids are going to manipulate you. They’re going to lie to you, don’t listen to them. Our communication was controlled, we weren’t allowed to write or talk call home.
These, group homes, boot camps, very regimented. As soon as you walked in, your hair is shaved, you’re sleeping on the ground for 10 days, you’re screamed at, or you’re beaten, and yelled at. Forced to lay in positions on your stomach with your chin on the ground and your hands and feet tied behind your back for hours.
You’re forced to wake up at 2 am o’clock in the middle of the night and go outside and stand in the rain and count the rain. These, group homes, boot camps, did all kinds of cruel mental games to brainwash and break a child. It’s not hard to break a child especially at that age.
I learned to adapt and to work the system and I used that knowledge when I was in, prison. I would go into these, group homes, boot camps, every six months of my life, then go home, raise hell and be sent to another, group home, 6 months later.
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Did life in these book camps train you for Prison?
Myrna – What did you get arrested for and sent to, prison?
Rocky – The, prison, thing came about because I was selling drugs and doing everything from robbing, stealing, breaking into cars. I started getting into heavier drugs until the federal government and the state local police set up a sting operation. This task force followed me around for quite a bit of time and got me to sell narcotics to an undercover agent.
I was arrested and charged with distribution. I was sentenced to seven to nine years in, prison.
Prison, was very scary place; but after a few months, I got out I kind of got back in the same lifestyle. I’m not really the type person you can scare or punish into changing.
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Myrna – You were in, prison, I think you said for seven or eight years and then you said that when you came out of, prison, you went back into the same lifestyle. What you think, prison, did for you if anything?
Rocky – I was in prison for about two years, in jail for a year then rehab for another year.
I learned so much in, prison. There’s people going to, prison, with different attitudes, different crimes. I went in there as an adaptable chameleon. I’ve been institutionalized since I was 11, so I knew it was gonna be another institution. I knew there were certain things I had to learn like how to navigate between judges and counselors and convicts and inmates.
I didn’t really have any troubles, I had a pretty decent level of respect for, prison. People were curious about me, why was I in prison in Alabama? What was this Indian kid doing in a, prison, in Alabama?
On top of that I spoke Spanish and I played basketball, so it was very easy to transfer between a lot of race wars in an Alabama, prison. It was easy to go between White and Black and Mexican inmates.
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I quickly developed a sense of wanting to help, so I started writing motions for people in, prison. Most inmates didn’t know how to read and write. But in spite of wanting to help and do good, I quickly got back into selling drugs in, prison.
Myrna – How do you sell drugs in, prison?
Rocky – There are certain areas in, prison, you meet someone that’s for lack of a better term gay and they’re happy putting substances inside of their butt area and they would sneak in drugs for you. They would then clean it out, put it in a certain area, tell you where it is and you go pick it up. I then go bag it up and then redistribute it.
It’s a whole different world inside, prisons. I am smiling now but looking back it was nerve-wracking and very scary, because if you get caught, you’re in big trouble. Outside of that I liked the time I had to myself in, prison. I read books and journal and make a plan for my life.
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When you take your time while you’re in, prison, to really set goals and set a future up for yourself, when you get out of, prison, you’re already a step ahead versus the person who just
closed their eyes and did their time in, prison.
It’s such an important thing planning and preparing and framing your mind for when you leave, prison. I’ve learned in my life from, sexual abuse, physical abuse, in , boot camps, and being beaten in, jail.
Myrna – You have to change your mindset, that is why this the show is called the Transform your Mind podcast. The system feels that when they, incarcerate, people, they felt punishing them by sending them to, prison, or, jail, for a couple of years that they will reform them and change behaviors. But like you said you can go to, prison, and get worse because drugs are still selling in, prison.
You send someone in there who’s innocent and they come out worse than when they went in, or you can go to, prison, and you can get your GED. Some go to, prison, and had such a horrible time in there that they vow never to go back to, prison.
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Statistics of repeat offenders Recidivism to prison
Myrna – What is the statistics of how many people reform from being sent to, prison, and the percentage of those who are repeat offenders?
Rocky – I believe our, recidivism, rate in America is close to 70 percent. I went back to, jail, twice after my release from, prison, twice for about a month. The system to be truthful is
almost designed for, recidivism, to make you mess up, so you can go right back to, prison, and serve more time.
Myrna- I would say that you were lucky that your father sent you to India and you used that opportunity to start your hair business. Tell us about your business.
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Rocky – I started my business plan from , prison. Then when I was in India after I left, prison, I had time to meet manufacturers, go to the small markets where they’re selling hair and really do a lot of research. Everything happens for a reason. I never thought I’d be in India after, prison. While I was there and everything started falling into place. Within a week I had the name for my business, paid for the domain and then made a Facebook post. I had the ability to learn from an Indian perspective about the manufacturing side before I learned about marketing in the U.S.
Myrna – How can listeners contact you and support your business?
You will find links there to all my past podcast episodes. You’ll have all the businesses that I currently run, from my hair company, to my Tea company, to my vacation rental property company in Florida.
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Without a plan your, goals, are just a dream. The most important ingredient for success is a plan!
A plan is usually the distinguishing feature in the success or failure of any, goal.
A study of 100 students in business school found that 66% of students that wrote a business plan succeeded in business even though the business plan was not an accurate accounting of where the business ended up. It seemed that just formulating a plan makes you succeed because it creates a visionary.
Here are 5 strategies to help you achieve your, goals:
1. Faith, You must believe in yourself.
A dream or can inspire you and motivate you to action only if you Believe that you can make it happen.
Some don’ts:
Don’t have a, plan B.
When you have a, plan B, you are telling your subconscious that you don’t believe that the plan “A” is going to work.
Don’t tell yourself that your, goal, is not realistic. Just remember to reap where you plant.
“If you can think it you can achieve it” ~~Ophra Winfrey
Watch your self-talk and internal dialogue.
Eg. Your, goal, is to be Regional Vice President Sales but; you tell yourself it will never happen because your boss does not like you. Whether that is a fact or not, you will never be promoted to Regional Vice President Sales until you replace that thought with a winning one.
2. Clarity – Your , goals, must be clear.
What do you want? What is your destination end? What is the vision?
Would you like “Peace of mind?”
Would you like “Financial freedom, and security?”
Would you like “A higher quality of life for you and your family?”
It is not more money. It is not to own your own home your, goals, are what you are going to get from achieving these things.
Chris Gardner calls this “stop digging your potatoes”
There is never a better time than the present.
Don’t wait until you have the time to upgrade your education.
Don’t wait until you are fired from the job you hate to look for a better one.
Stop making excuses and jump in.
4. Understand your past to gain, clarity, for your, goals
Your past has valuable information about who you are and why you are. It is a storehouse of information.
“Those who cannot remember the past is bound to repeat it.”
It has evidence of where you get stuck, evidence of what you do when the going gets tough, which road do you choose, evidence of your beliefs.
Examine the movie of your life and understand the lessons this helps with self-mastery.
All experiences from your personal library are valuable to create self-awareness.
5. Understand your Why. Why do you want to achieve this, goal.
Why do you want to leave a Legacy?
Why would you like financial freedom?
It is the general belief that the organizing power of the Universe will help those whose, goals, are to serve humanity. Your Why should benefit others and not just yourself.
How to set Goals vs Objectives
Whether you’re working on a team project or defining, goals, for an entire company, it’s critical your employees are on the same page when it comes to terminology.
Goal setting, is different from objectives, often seem like two interchangeable phrases. “We have ambitious, goals, for the new year,” you might tell your marketing team, following up with, “Our objectives are aggressive, but entirely possible.”
When used in a marketing context, it’s easy to misconstrue. To ensure efficiency and unity, then, it’s vital your employees are up-to-date on the two terms you likely use when outlining your quarterly and yearly strategy.
Motivation for Goals is Purpose
Goals, are also different from purpose, are almost similar and one could hardly come across any difference between the two at one glance. Purpose and, clarity, are interlinked, because purpose is the, motivation. .
One of the main differences that can be seen between the two is in the time factor. People try to reach their achievements by setting deadlines. On the other hand, deadlines are not applicable in a purpose.
It can be called as the point one wishes to achieve. On the other hand, purpose can be called as the reason one aims at to achieve a goal. Unlike purposes, goals always go forward in a specific direction.
Purpose, which is all about direction, is that something that influences drive. Unlike dreams purpose is broader and deeper.
Purpose is directly influenced by the values and beliefs one holds. Purpose is deeply rooted in a person. Unlike goals, purpose can b said to be central to human life.
Goals, and purpose, can be measured whereas purpose cannot be measured. The end result can be seen whereas in purpose, it is not that visible. Achievement, aims that a person seeks. It is that which one wants to accomplish. It involves the establishing of specific, realistic and attainable objectives.
Goals, have a specific target. On the other hand, Purpose does not have a specific aim. Goals, can be short term, long term or personal. However, a purpose cannot be short or long term but only pertains to something personal.
Purpose can be termed as a fundamental need of a human being, which gives a meaning to his actions.
Mindfulness Meditation, is not just for Buddhists and monks. Meditation, unlocks the power you have within to take your business to the top.
When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, spirituality, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self. As many successful entrepreneurs know, reduced stress is the foundation to creating the business and lifestyle you want. If you are not removing your limiting beliefs and constantly working on your vision, you are limiting your own growth and the growth of your company. You are the lid!
Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation
As a leader or an Entrepreneur there is no better way to overcome obstacles, rise to the top or be creative with out first quieting the noise in your head. When you become still you tap into your creative power by connecting to your source. During, mindfulness meditation, you experience that peace that surpasses all understanding that the bible talks about. When you forget about all the things you have to do and just focus on the life inside you by witnessing your breathing, you move closer to becoming conscious and understand your purpose. Being quiet and still allows you to listen to instructions from the higher power who guides you. It is said that it is easier to guide a horse in the direction it is running in; so when you fall into line with what God wants you to do for his Kingdom then your business and your life become less of a struggle.
The reasons we practice, mindfulness meditation, are as varied as the many ways there are to, meditate. In the West, most people are drawn to, mindfulness meditation, to quiet the internal chatter of the brain and to reduce stress. Mindfulness meditation, is indeed a very effective stress reducer, but its benefits—sometimes mysteriously hidden—are far more bountiful. The actual act of, mindfulness meditation, can be as simple as sitting quietly and focusing on your breath while repeating silently a, mantra, a word or phrase. for example the, om mantra, or the Gayatri mantra. There are countless traditions and no singular “correct” way to practice, mindfulness meditation.
Find a practice that you like and stick with it for a while. Notice how you feel as you go about your days. If you find that you have more patience, feel grounded and better able to respond to stressful situations, and are more in touch with your intuition or “gut feelings,” you are enjoying the many benefits of, mindfulness meditation.
I practice, mindfulness meditation, by finding a quiet place in the morning as I drink my coffee. I listen to a, guided mindfulness meditation, tape on topics such as “activating consciousness“, visionary me meditation, “the law of attraction” etc. as I listen I clear my mind by mentally repeating a centering thought and witnessing my breathing. At the end of my meditation I am relaxed, totally open and creative. I usually write some deep insights after my meditation sessions and I get answers from God and the Universe to questions I ask. This is the perfect way to become a visionary and an innovate leader.
Mindfulness Meditation, is good for our Physical Bodies
Scientists gathering data on, mindfulness meditation, have found that a consistent practice of, mantra meditation, not only boosts the mind, but it also bolsters the body. Studies shows that, meditation, can help reverse heart disease, reduce pain, and support the immune system, better enabling it to fight disease.
The mind-body connection between stress and disease is abundantly apparent as science is finding that, mindfulness meditation, can lower production of the stress hormone cortisol. This means, mediators, are better able to adapt to stress in their lives.
2: Mindfulness Meditation, is good for Our Relationships
Paradoxically, while, meditation, helps us tune in and turn inward to our true essence, it also helps us detach from our own egos to connect with others in more meaningful ways. Couples counselors have found when they assign their clients, mindfulness meditation, the couples become less angry, more self-reflective, and more loving. When we become aware of—and honor—our interconnection with other beings, we are able to recast our perspectives, see our worries in a different light, and embrace gratitude, which is the heart’s memory.
The bible teaches that we can’t change others only ourselves and when we, meditate, we tune into who we really are. Our ancestral legacy is a brain that is primed to focus on negative experiences and has a tendency to get stuck in conditioned patterns of thinking, returning again and again to thoughts of anxiety, depression, and limitation. So in our relationships we tend to focus on what we do not have instead of what we do have. As you meditate on a regular basis, you develop what is known as “witnessing awareness”—the ability to calmly and objectively observe a situation, notice when you are being triggered, and consciously choose how you want to respond. The ability to be present and aware is extremely valuable in every relationship.
When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self. Yogis and doctors both agree, mindfulness meditation, even just a few minutes of deep breathing—relaxes the brain, reduces anxiety, and decreases depression. We say we can’t afford the time to, meditate, but the truth is we can’t afford not to. When we tell ourselves we don’t have time to exercise, or meditate, then we will make time for sickness and depression. During most of our waking lives, our minds are engaged in a continuous internal dialogue in which the meaning and emotional associations of one thought triggers the next.
We hear a snippet of music and suddenly we’re thinking about the first time we heard that song with an old boyfriend or girlfriend and how that relationship ended. If we’re still holding emotional pain over that ending, those feelings may bubble up and then our mind may veer into criticism, self-pity, or worries about the future. Mindfulness Meditation, is one of the best tools we have to counter the brain’s negativity bias, release accumulated stress, foster positive experiences and intentions, and enjoy the peace of present moment awareness. A large body of research has established that having a regular meditation practice produces tangible benefits for mental and physical health, including:
Decreased blood pressure and hypertension
Lowered cholesterol levels
Reduced production of “stress hormones,” including cortisol and adrenaline
More efficient oxygen use by the body
Increased production of the anti-aging hormone DHEA
4: Mindfulness Meditation, Reduces Stress and Burnout
What role is more stressful than the role of a Leader? None, as a Leader you are responsible for the lives of your employees, families, and your commitment to your community? Chronic, unmanaged stress can make you sick and accelerate aging. As many scientific studies have found, prolonged stress can contribute to:
high blood pressure,
heart disease,
stomach ulcers,
autoimmune diseases,
anxiety,
cancer,
insomnia,
chronic fatigue,
obesity,
depression,
and accelerated aging.
During, mindfulness meditation, your body releases stress and reverses the effects of the flight-or-fight response—that ancient instinct we all have to either run from perceived danger or take it on in battle. Intended as a short-term protection mechanism, fight or flight causes our body to speed up our heart rate, increase our blood sugar, suppress our immune system, reduce insulin production, pump out stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, and reduce the blood supply to our digestive organs. All of these reactions happen so that our body can focus on either running away as fast as it can—or staying to fight. Although few people reading this face daily threats to their bodily existence, many live in a prolonged state of fight or flight, generating stress in response to bad traffic, criticism from a spouse, or a disagreement.
Regular, meditation, dissipates accumulated stress and cultivates a state of restful alertness. There are many compelling studies showing the power of, mindfulness meditation, to relieve stress and promote inner calm. For example, a 2011 study published in the Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine Journal found that full-time workers who spent a few hours each week practicing, mindfulness meditation, reported a significant decrease in job stress, anxiety, and depressed mood. The reason, meditation, is so popular among successful individuals is it helps release stress, lets go of excess thoughts and expand awareness. As you dive deeper into your, mindfulness meditation, practice you see people events and circumstances as they really are, not as they are perceived to be. It allows you to have an internal Locus of control. That means that you don’t react to external stimuli but are proactive with action plans and goals. It also means that as challenges arise in your business, you will not get overwhelmed; but face those challenges calmly and efficiently. As an Entrepreneur Leader, meditation allows you to turn your failures into successes.
5: Mindfulness Meditation, Enhances Your Concentration, Memory, and Ability to Learn
As researchers have found, mindfulness meditation, can help you tap into your brain’s deepest potential to focus, learn, and adapt. While scientists used to believe that beyond a certain age, the brain couldn’t change or grow, we now know that the brain has a quality known as plasticity, enabling it to grow new neurons and transform throughout our lives. Meditation is a powerful tool for awakening new neural connections and even transforming regions of the brain. A recent study led by Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital found that after only eight weeks of meditation, participants experienced beneficial growth in the brain areas associated with memory, learning, empathy, self-awareness, and stress regulation. In addition, the meditators reported decreased feelings of anxiety and greater feelings of calm. This study adds to the expanding body of research about the brain’s amazing plasticity and ability to change habitual stress patterns.
Many other studies provide evidence for the value of, mindfulness meditation, in improving the ability to stay focused in world filled with increasing distractions, and demands on our attention. For example, research conducted by the UCLA Mindful Awareness Center showed that teenagers and adults with ADHD who practiced various forms of, meditation for just eight weeks improved their ability to concentrate on tasks, even when attempts were made to distract them. In the world of the Entrepreneur Leader, the ability to focus when you are pulled in so many different directions is extremely important to your success.
6: Mindfulness Meditation, Improves Your Creativity and Problem-Solving Skills in your Business
We each have an estimated 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day—unfortunately, many of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday, last week, and last year. The mind tends to get stuck in repetitive thought loops that squeeze out the possibility for new ideas and inspiration. Mindfulness meditation, is a powerful practice for going beyond habitual, conditioned thought patterns into a state of expanded awareness. We connect to what is known as the field of infinite possibilities or pure potentiality, and we open to new insights, intuition, and ideas. And as we meditate and focus on our breathing, we stop this continuous cycle.
7: Mindfulness Meditation, Decreases Anxiety, and Insomnia
The emotional effects of sitting quietly and going within are profound. The deep state of rest produced by, mindfulness meditation, triggers the brain to release neurotransmitters, including dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. Each of these naturally occurring brain chemicals has been linked to different aspects of happiness:
Dopamine plays a key role in the brain’s ability to experience pleasure, feel rewarded, and maintain focus. Serotonin has a calming effect. It eases tension and helps us feel less stressed and more relaxed and focused. Low levels of this neurotransmitter have been linked to migraines, anxiety, bipolar disorder, apathy, feelings of worthlessness, fatigue, and insomnia. Oxytocin (the same chemical whose levels rise during sexual arousal and breastfeeding), is a pleasure hormone. It creates feelings of calm, contentment, and security, while reducing fear and anxiety. Endorphins are most commonly known as the chemicals that create the exhilaration commonly labeled “the runner’s high.” These neurotransmitters play many roles related to well being, including decreasing feelings of pain and reducing the side effects of stress.
In her book ” Out of the Snares, Author Bernadette Trotman shares how, self love, can bring you out of the snares of, poverty, addiction, child abuse and any other snare of the trapper.
The 9th Principle taught in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” is Love.
Love. This 4 letter word is so powerful! and, self love, is this love turned inside.
Love including, self love is the most powerful force in the universe!
It can break the bonds of years, sometimes generations of, addictions, and, generational curses.
God’s Love for Humanity
God’s love, for humanity caused him to send his only begotten son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can have everlasting life.
A mother’s love, for her child gives her superhuman strength, to save her child from death or injury.
The love we have for our wife and husband keeps off stress and diseases when that love is active and healthy.
You see when we are in the throes of our love experiences, we look at the world through rose colored glasses.
Everything is sunny. We stop to smell the roses.
Our hearts beat faster when our loved ones are near.
We ride the energy waves of this spiritual connection and in turn we feel energized, we smile and laugh more and we don’t sweat the small stuff!
Research shows that this positive energy force cleanses our ethereal bodies and removes patches of stuck energies that can cause disease.
Get out of the Snares with Self Love
In my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement,
I share my encounters with love. These encounters have shaped my current world and allowed me to embrace love because I know from personal experiences how good it feels!
The energy of love combined with, sexual energy, is even more powerful!
When you transmute, sexual energy, for the person you love, you can create or imagine life changing books, companies and inventions that propel humanity forward!
In order for you to give love to another you must first have, self love, inside of you.
You have to love yourself, you have to love your world or the space you work and play in your world.
You have to love God, your creator.
When you have, self love, you gain, self confidence
Self-confidence is necessary for you to be successful in your career and in your business
Click the link below to hear a powerful story of how lack of self-confidence can ruin your world. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J1ECHTnc64
Love doesn’t have to be the Notebook kind with grand gestures and sacrifice.
We love to watch movies like the Notebook about true love that never dies.
We are inspired by stories about Edward, Prince of Wales and Wallace Simpson and how he chose love over the throne; but most of us would settle for the simple acts of love.
This artist depicts these acts in her paintings so wonderfully and every couple should aspire to connect on this level.
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse coming up and giving them a hug while they are cooking in the kitchen?
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse watching chick flicks with them and enjoying it as much as they do?
• Who wouldn’t love going out for ice cream and licking each other ice cream cones and stealing a kiss?
• Who wouldn’t love just being in a room and just enjoying each other, laying on your husbands lap while you read a book?
• Who wouldn’t like coming home and seeing your husband with a apron on in the kitchen cooking dinner?
Love shouldn’t be only for your spouse, children, family and friends. Love should be for all relationships in and out of the workplace, with customers, suppliers, everyone!
Giving love and compassion to the people you work with yields immense, self love.
Here are 5 ways to be a LoveCat at work with, self love:
1. Greet everyone who walks into your office or room with eye contact and a smile.
2. Hug your close associates or people you have a personal relationship at work.
3. Replace the word Hate with the word, self love, whenever you can and watch it transform the energy.
4. Read lots of books and offer the knowledge gained from these books to your co-workers to help them with projects, initiatives or difficult personal situations.
5. Start a book club at work and have everybody share cliff notes from the books read.
All in all, self love, is like a boomerang, it always comes back so give it freely.
It is like seeds that blow in the wind. It does not always come back from the people we choose to love; but it always comes back
Check out my chapter on Love in my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement.
Do you have the, mindset, to scale the personal mountains in your life and get to, personal growth? In this episode of 5 mins with, Coach Myrna, I share 7 tips to acquiring the mindset of an, mount Everest, climber.
The mindset of a, Mount Everest, mountain climber? How to tackle your personal mountains.
Climbing Mount Everest
Not sure why but I picked up the book, “Into Thin Air, my expedition to the top of the world,” maybe it was because one of my goals was to hike the Himalayas, not climb, Mount Everest. Let’s be clear! but after reading this book I was amazed by what, mindsets, could accomplish.
The, positive mindset, can elevate your life and make you stretch yourself, while its opposite a negative mindset can anchor you wherever you are.
As an, Everest, mountain climber, you are aware that your odds of dying is high. Even if you don’t die, your chances of frost bite or other dangers increase with every feet closer to the summit! The thin air can make you lose brain cells, lack of oxygen to your brain can give you brain damage. YET! The writer says that The line of, mount Everest, climbers attempting to get to the top, looks like the line at Walt Disney world. I wonder how these, mount Everest, climbers deal with their, personal mountains, or, personal growth.
What, mindset, do you have to develop to pay the $65,000 fee, risk your life, and push yourself beyond your limits to summit, Mount Everest?
I discovered these 7 characteristics of people who climb their, personal mountains, personal growth, and become, Mount Everest, mountain climbers:
7 Characteristics of Personal Growth
1. Strong Mindset – Think of the, mindset, you have to have, to WANT to climb, Mount Everest, the top of the world 29, 035 feet in the sky! Let’s put that into perspective that the height that airplanes fly at! Hopefully your, personal mountains, don’t seem of this magnitude!
2. They want to test their limits– After reading “Into Thin Air” I listened to a Ted talk by Lori Schneider. She was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis, and decided to make a goal of scaling the highest peaks on each continent before her MS progressed and she lost the use of her legs. She accomplished this feat and became the first woman with multiple sclerosis to summit, Mount Everest. That was her, personal mountain, or, personal growth and she climbed it and won.
3. They faced their fears – When you face your fears, especially the ones that tell you, you are not good enough, doing something super human sure proves that you are indeed good enough and wipes out fear forever more! Fear is false evidence appearing real. It is a bully and when you stand up to it, it always runs away. You have to remove fear to climb any of your, personal mountains,
4. They are both mentally and physically strong – Climbing your, personal mountains, is both a mental and physical challenge. Climbing your, personal mountains, has nothing to do with physical strength. In the book “Into Thin Air” one of the climbers that reached the peak was a 95 lb woman. Mental strength is more powerful than physical strength.
5. Perseverance – Climbing high altitude mountains is a marathon not a sprint. You have to acclimatize yourself to the high altitudes by climbing to incremental altitudes and climbing back down several times. In the same way you can’t scale your, personal mountains, in one jump, you have to approach it like a mountaineer or a marathon runner, take small bites at a time. Start with the small, personal mountains, and work to way the top of the world Mount Everest 29, 035 feet above the earth!
6. A Growth mindset – The climbers who summited Mt Everest saw Challenges as an opportunity to grow and develop. There is an old saying “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” Look at your, personal mountains, as a way to grow.
7. Willingness to be uncomfortable – There is no growth or victory until you get out if your comfort zone. The hardship a climber experiences on a climb is chilling. No pun intended. Climbing your, personal mountains, will definitely get you out of your comfort zone or it is not a mountain!
What can we learn from them? We learn that where there is a will, there is a way. All obstacles can be called, personal mountains, you have to climb them all one step at a time, carrying a heavy load, with frozen limbs, totally exhausted by the effort of just putting one foot in front of the other and when you finally reach the top, you have to still get back down!
If ordinary people can do it, you can climb your, personal mountains, as well. Live your dreams and dream big, really big.
Imagine being diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis and deciding to climb to the top of Mt Everest with no previous experience!
Believe in the unbelievable!
Climb beyond your limits, it is all a matter of Mind over Matter
If you have a friend that needs encouragement, feel free to share this episode and remember to subscribe and post a review.
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Spiritual Awakening, is like waking up from a dream. When we live like we are sleeping, we are just numb to, consciousness. Spirituality, or “of the spirit” are our thoughts. The concept of spiritual awakening, is that life isn’t random, there is a pattern and purpose to every existence. Deepak Chopra calls this Synchro-destiny. Every moment is pre-destined, it is as it should be. The reason that challenges arise is simple are to make us more aware of our inner purpose and destiny.
Introduction to Spiritual Awakening
Why is life so difficult? It can be said that if you are not facing challenges, you are dead!
The bible says teaches “like fish caught in a net, problems show up unexpectedly.”
Somehow life manages to bring difficult problems, the causes of untold suffering and struggle. How you meet your challenges makes all the difference between the promise of success and, spiritual awakening, and the specter of failure. Successful people look at solutions while unsuccessful people only see the problem. Spiritual Awakening, can help solve internal struggles.
Eckhart Tolle says “we should live life accepting what comes our way; not being too happy when good things happen to us and not being too sad when bad things happen to us. Live in the now”.
When your, awareness, or, spirituality, expands events that seemed random begin to arrange themselves in a pattern; you become aware of a larger purpose and notice these events are actually related to the greater whole. Just as our bodies operate in a state of Homeostasis; in a similar way events and coincidences are all connected and are part of God’s plan for your purpose. When you become, awakened, your purpose (which is unique for each person) you become like an architect who has been handed a blueprint of his or her, spirituality. Instead of laying bricks and fitting pipes at random, the architect can now proceed with confidence that he knows what the building should look like and how to construct it that’s, spiritual awakening.
The first step in this process is recognizing what level of, awareness, you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action. It demands, spiritual awakening.
There are three levels of Spiritual Awakening.
Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward becoming a sorcerer and tapping into, spirituality.
Level 1: Contracted Awareness or no Spirituality
This is the level of the problem, and therefore it immediately grabs your attention. If all you see is the problem, then you need, spiritual awakening. Something has gone wrong. Expectations have turned sour. You face obstacles that don’t want to move. As resistance mounts, your situation still doesn’t improve because you are not tapping into your, spirituality. If you examine the level of the problem, the following elements are generally present:
Your desires are thwarted. Something you want is meeting with opposition. You feel as if every step forward is a battle.
You keep doing more of what never worked in the first place.
Your mind isn’t clear. There is confusion and inner conflict.
As frustration mounts, your energy is depleted. You feel more and more exhausted because you need to wake up, you need, spiritual awakening.
You can tell if you are stuck at the level of contracted, spiritual awakening, by one simple test:
Do you feel like the more you struggle to get free of the problem, the more you are trapped in it? In addition the law of attraction states that what you think about you bring about. The end result is that you get on the wave of negative thoughts , your, spirituality, that attract more of the same so not only does your problem not get resolved; but you attract more problems into your circumstance. Meditation, with positive thoughts, smiling, prayer, repeating positive mantras or scriptures are ways to create positive energies and break the negative cycle and start you, spiritual awakening.
Level 2: Expanded Awareness or Spiritual Awakening
This is the level where solutions begin to appear. Your vision extends beyond the conflict, giving you more clarity. You are becoming one with your, spirituality. For most people this level isn’t immediately available, because their first reaction to a crisis is to contract and feel the pain of the situation. They become defensive, wary, and fearful. But if you allow yourself to expand, you will find that the following elements enter your, awareness:
The need to struggle begins to diminish. You put the problem in God’s hands.
You start to let go. You stand on the principle that all roads lead to your destination
More people connect with you. You get council
You approach decisions with confidence.
You meet fear realistically (fear is perceived) and it starts to lessen.
With clearer vision, you no longer feel confused and conflicted.
You can tell that you have reached this level of, awareness, when you no longer feel stuck; a process has begun. With greater expansion, unseen forces come to your aid. You move forward according to what you desire from your life, your, awareness, and, spirituality.
Level 3: Pure Spiritual Awakening or Enlightenment
Pure, spiritual awakening, is when no problems exist. You have transcended suffering as Buddha did. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. You have aligned with your, spiritual awakening, and your, spirituality. What makes this possible is that, awareness, can expand without limits. Although it may seem that it takes long time to have true mastery of your mind and get on the, spiritual awakening, path to reach pure, awareness; the truth is exactly the opposite. At every moment pure, awareness, is in contact with you, sending creative impulses. All that matters is how open you are to the answers being presented. When you are fully open, the following elements will be present: There is no struggle.
You are present in the now. Your mind is not busy with noise about the past or anticipating the future.
Desires reach fulfillment spontaneously.
The next thing you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You are a benefit to yourself and your surroundings.
The outer world reflects what is happening in your inner world.
You feel completely safe. You are at home in the Universe.
You view yourself and the world with compassion and understanding.
To be completely established in pure, awareness, of, spirituality, and, enlightenment, is the basis of, spirituality, a state of unity with everything in existence. Ultimately, every life is moving in that direction. Without attaining the final goal, you can tell that you are in contact with pure, awareness, if you feel truly yourself, in a state of peace and freedom.
Each of these levels brings its own kind of experience. This can be easily seen when there is a sharp contrast or a sudden change. Love at first sight takes a person without warning from contracted, awareness, to expanded, awareness, and is a, spiritual, experience. Instead of relating in the normal social way, suddenly you see immense appeal, even perfection, in one other person. In creative work there is the “Aha!” experience. Instead of wrestling with a blocked imagination, suddenly the answer presents itself, fresh and new! No one doubts that such epiphanies exist. They can be life changing, as in the so- called peak experience, when reality is flooded with light and a revelation dawns. What people don’t see is that expanded, awareness, should be our normal state, not a moment of extraordinary difference.
Problems with, Spirituality
Listening to people tell their stories of problems, obstacles, failure, and frustration (an existence trapped in contracted, awareness, and, spirituality, one sees that reaching a new vision is critical. It is all too easy to get lost in particulars. The difficulties of facing each challenge are often overwhelming. No matter how intensely you feel your situation, which has its own unique difficulties, if you look to the right and left, you will see others who are just as caught up in their situations. Strip away the details, and what remains is a general cause of suffering: lack of, awareness, that everything is impermanent. Unless you are shown how to expand your, awareness, you have no choice but to experience the state of contraction caused from pain and suffering.
Just as the body flinches when faced with physical pain, the mind has a reflex that makes it draw back when faced with mental pain. Tony Robbins says that “people move away from pain and towards pleasure” Here again, a moment of sudden contrast makes it easy to experience what contraction feels like. Imagine yourself in any of the following situations:
You are a young mother who has taken your child to the playground. You chat for a moment with another mother, and when you turn around, you can’t see your child.
At work you are sitting at your computer when someone casually mentions that there are going to be layoffs, and by the way, the boss wants to see you.
You open your mailbox and find a letter from the Internal Revenue Service and you remembered that you do not have your receipts.
While driving you approach an intersection when, out of the blue, a car behind you swerves past your car and runs a red light.
You walk into a restaurant and see your spouse sitting with an attractive companion. They are leaning in toward each other, holding hands and talking in low voices.
It doesn’t take much imagination to feel the sudden change of, awareness, that these situations provoke. Panic, anxiety, anger, and apprehension flood your mind; these are the result of brain changes as the lower brain takes precedent over the higher brain, triggering the release of adrenaline as part of an array of physical responses known as the stress response. Any feeling is both mental and physical. The brain gives a precise representation of what the mind is experiencing, drawing on infinite combinations of electro chemical signals coursing through one hundred billion neurons. A brain researcher can pinpoint with ever-increasing accuracy exactly those regions that produce such changes. What cannot be seen on an MRI is the mental event that incites all these changes, because the mind functions at the invisible level of awareness or consciousness. We can take these two terms as synonyms, but let’s explore them a little.
Business Problems created from lack of Spiritual Awakening
Spirituality, deals with your state of, awareness. It isn’t the same as medicine or psychotherapy. Medicine deals in the physical aspect where bodily changes occur. Psychotherapy deals with a specific difficulty, such as anxiety, depression, or actual mental illness. Spirituality, confronts, awareness, directly. It aims to produce higher consciousness. In our society this is seen as less real than the other ways of approaching problems. In times of trouble, people cope as best as they can with a swirling confusion of fear, anger, mood swings, and everyday struggle. It doesn’t even occur to them to pair the two words, spirituality, and solution in the same sentence; this points to a limited vision about what spirituality really is, and what it can do for you. We must incorporate our non-physical being with our physical body to solve everyday problems.
Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true. What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.
Listen to full interview here:
For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.
Introduction Core Beliefs
Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.
The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.
Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:
“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”
We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:
How we feel love,
our self-worth,
how we feel security, and
fulfillment.
Life after death.
Your, core beliefs, can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal.
Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs
A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:
I am loving and lovable.
I am worthy.
I am safe and trusting.
I am fulfilled and whole.
The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief. Therefore, the rules that apply to the, Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.
Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith Without Works Is Dead”.
Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief?
If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away. Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.
Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world. Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!
As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief, For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!
Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept
Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.
For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.
This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.
In the world of, Quantum physics, it was discovered that matter can be both a particle and a wave. That everything exists in the wave format, infinite possibility, until it is observed. So to live in, infinite possibility, is to know that you have a, vortex, of un-manifested possibility waiting to become your reality.
In this episode Life coach Myrna Young teaches on living in the state of, infinite possibility. Quantum physics, tells us that until something is observed, it is in the form on the infinite.
Listen to the full interview here:
Introduction
Observation turns the wave, infinite possibility, into a particle.
Let me explain: when we are born we have, infinite possibilities. We were all born with a purpose and the talent to fulfill that purpose. God said
“ I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
But God also gave us free will, which means that we got to choose which road we wanted to take in life. Either towards our purpose or away from it.
As a kid we dreamed big, we lived in the state of, infinite possibility, We wanted to become doctors and lawyers, firemen and policemen, scientists and movie stars. Our future was a wave full of, infinite possibility. Them someone told us, we were not good at math, so we could never become a doctor or a scientist; because you have to be good at math to become a doctor, so that un-manifested possibility that was in your, vortex, is no longer.
The wave, infinite possibility, is now observed and has become a particle. Regardless if that statement is true or not, it is now your reality, because perception is reality. You now no longer want to be a doctor or scientist; but think about maybe becoming a nurse or Art teacher because you don’t need to know math.
I once interviewed Ilona Selke the author of the book “Dream Big, the Universe is listening”. She writes whatever you set your intention to, the universe conspires to bring it to you. That is called the Law of Attraction. If you missed that episode Download that episode now on iTunes now, or any of the podcast players.
I love Dr Martin Luther King Jr. and his I have a dream speech. As a pastor and man of God, Dr King lived in the, infinite possibility, that this country would treat a man based on his character, and not the color of his skin. That possibility still exists today but it is still un-manifested in our, vortex.
So in this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to remind you that You are the Universe apply the Law of Divine Oneness to your Life. You are made up of the same matter as the stars and the Ether. You are an infinite being with, infinite possibilities,. Do not limit yourself, because as soon as you make that observation, you become limited to what your flesh could do.
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Black Fathers, are so valuable, we are so important. We have to take care of ourselves, we have to get over this idea of stepping back or I can’t deal with this and be there for our black families.
Dr Carl decided to write this book and mentor, black fathers, because it is something that the black community needs to get better at. Carl Stokes Jr. is an award-winning social worker, educator, college instructor and recently received his doctorate in education. His dissertation focuses on, Black Fathers, and their perseverance in community colleges. Dr Carl is passionate about working to uplift the black community. He also enjoys teaching, parenting classes, for a small non-profit organization.
Myrna – As a black man tell us your story of your relationship with your, father, and your current relationships with your daughters. I’m curious to know, because a lot of times we work on areas that we have lived through.
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Dr Carl – What’s interesting is that my answer is both. I grew up with my, black father, and without my, black father. My dad was in the home until I was about 10 or 11 years old, unfortunately though during that time he had fallen victim to the crack cocaine epidemic of the 80s. So my, father, was in a home; but life was very difficult during that time; because of what he was going through.
However, he was still in the home, there was still benefits of his presence. Then things got really bad to the point where we were basically forced out. I went through that whole period of teenage years and everything without guidance of my, father. So, as an adult, I can see the difference between an, absentee dad, and a, Black father, in the home. Because even though my, father, wasn’t at his best, when he was in the home I benefited form him being visible.
Why Black Fathers should be visible to their kids
Myrna – So between the ages of 1 and 10 your dad was in the home; but he even though he couldn’t be a, father, because he was under the influence of crack cocaine, what you are saying is that the fact your, father, was in the home; it had some positive effect on you.
Dr Carl – Absolutely! Discipline wise, teaching me how to protect and take care of my mother, because he was gone a lot. He would have conversations with me. It was nice having a, father, to talk to. It was a benefit to me and my younger brother.
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I can sit here and say that I did get lessons from having that male presence in the house. I can also say I also experienced domestic violence and theft. I also experienced run-ins with the police and people from the street and all that. I wouldn’t say stick it out regardless, because I just as easily could have went the other way. I was just fortunate enough to take the more positive path.
Why is being a visible Black Father is Important
Myrna – Let’s transition to your relationship with your daughters. You have three daughters. How do you parent them knowing that you didn’t have a, father, since you were 10 years old?
Dr Carl – Okay, this is where it gets a little bit interesting and sort of complicated, because I became a, black father, at 17 years old. I was a senior in high school, unfortunately because I was so young and because I didn’t have the guidance and I was immature, I ended up not handling my, parenting, as a, Black father, the way I should have. My daughter’s mother decided to move to Atlanta Georgia and take my daughter with her.
I didn’t know I had rights. I didn’t know that I shouldn’t have allowed her to take my daughter without working out any arrangements. The separation caused damage to the relationship between me and my first daughter. When I became a, Black Father, to my other two daughters, I vowed that nothing was going to stop me from being a good dad. Fatherhood, became my absolute top priority.
Myrna – Why is it that traditionally, black fathers, have been absent? We know we’ve got the crack epidemic, we know we’ve got prison; but even when none of those circumstances are present, black fathers, still don’t make it a priority to parent their children. Why do you think that is the situation?
Dr Carl – We kind of lowered our own expectations as, Black dads. We have very little guidance and then when we put the other things in a mix;
It causes extra stress and strain on, Black fathers, and their relationships with their kids.
Myrna – I actually just started reading Mike Tyson’s book “Undisputed Truth”. If you want to hear about a messed up Black family with no role models, this is the book to read. I couldn’t believe all the stuff that Mike Tyson lived through as a child without a, Black father, and an, absentee dad. How can, Black Dads, have a relationship with their kids and a relationship as a husband when all they know is dysfunction?
A Guide for Black Fathers
Why did you write the book “Reclaim your Visibility: A Straightforward Guide for Black Men to Improve Themselves and their Relationship with your Children?
Dr Carl – I wrote this book simply because of this: I got it wrong for many years and I want to assist in the idea of, black fathers, not having to go through being an, absentee dad, and learn from my mistakes. My eldest daughter and I had a very rocky path and I don’t want that to go in vain. I don’t want to just talk about the plight of, Black Fatherhood, I want to do something about it. If I can help one, Black Father, have a better relationship with their child or children, then it’s totally worth it.
Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers
Myrna – What makes your guide book different from all the other, Fatherhood, books?
Dr Carl – I am not the old wise man on top of the mountain talking to the village. The reason why this book is different is I literally started to repair my relationship with my eldest daughter this past summer. So this book is about real life, not theory.
Myrna – A lot of, Black Fathers, are, absentee dads. Do you think that they can repair the damage and build back a relationship with their children?
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Dr Carl – Absolutely! We can’t always take it back; but we have to learn from these mistakes and move on. That is the basis of the book and that’s why it’s called “A Straightforward Guide for Black Fathers to Improve Themselves and their Relationships with their Children” Because a lot of times, black fathers, need healing ourselves.
How to offer support for Black Father in College
Myrna – You mentioned that you did a doctoral thesis and research on Black Fathers in Colleges. Tell us about that.
Dr Carl – The dissertation is actually on, Black Student Fathers, and their persistence and perseverance in community Colleges. I was a community college, Black Father, with a child and a lot of times, these schools have programs for mothers; but no guidance for, Black Dads. I wanted to do something different and focus on this very specific population, black student fathers, in community college settings.
Dr Carl – In the media piece, I do several things. This is my official company where I do speaking engagements, seminars conferences, trainings and mentoring. The other sides of my books are self-published. I’m also assisting other people to help get their stories out and become published Authors. So the whole Stokes Media concept embodies all those things.
Myrna – Tell our listeners and those watching on YouTube how to contact you and get a copy of your book.
Dr Carl – The easiest way to contact me is to go directly to my website www.drcarlstokesjr.com. You can go right to the contact page and fill out the inquiry form. You can ask questions, leave comments/feedback or whatever you want to do.
Myrna – You also mentor, Black Fathers, at a non-profit organization. Tell us about that.
Dr Carl – I actually do, parenting classes, for an agency here in Buffalo called the “Family Help Center”. So when parents are looking for assistance, I help.
How Co-parenting can help Black Fathers stay visible
Myrna – When you do the, parenting classes, can you walk us through some of your subjects or the things that you talk about? In this conversation we’ve been focusing on, Black Fathers, but all fathers can benefit from your book and, parenting. What advise would you give them?
Dr Carl – I would say the number one advice I would give to parents is on, co-parenting. I don’t care if you don’t get along, I don’t care if all broke up because he was doing this or doing that. What’s important is the child or the children. We have to learn to get along for the sake of the children and be fair to each other for the sake of the children. Your children are witnessing and understanding these arguments, these disagreements, these accusations and things like that.
We tend to think that the kids are stupid and they’re not listening to anything. Let me tell you, they’re taking in everything, they’re taking in how you feel, they’re taking in the energy that you’re putting out and they are internalizing the things that they’re hearing. So, co-parenting, is key especially in our community we have to get that fixed.
What is the message for Black Fathers
Myrna – What is the message that you want them to take away with when they close the book?
Dr Carl – The predominant message of the book if I had to break it down into one main theme, I would say I would want my, black fathers, to understand how important we are to the situation. As a foundation of the family, to us being better as a community as a whole. Black Fathers, are so valuable, we are so important, we have to take care of ourselves, we have to get over this idea of stepping back or I can’t deal with this.
We have to understand how meaningful it is for us to be around and holding down our families. We hold down our households, our households work together to hold down our neighborhoods, our neighborhoods hold it down together to hold down our communities and it spreads on like that.
We don’t need to worry about or hope for everybody else to do this for us, we can do it ourselves; but it starts with us being in the house and visible to our kids. Even if you don’t live in the house, I’m just saying the presence of involvement is necessary. Not everybody is going to be together, and that’s why we talk about, co-parenting. Our presence is so valuable, we have to make sure that we handle our business as a, black father.
Dr Carl – You can get the book on Amazon Kindle. If you want a signed copy you can get it from me directly at www.drcarlstokesjunior.com.
If anybody wants the Audio book, go to my site www.drcarlstonesjr.com. Order the Audio book and there’s a free sample on there.
Enter the code “stay visible2021” and you’ll get 25% off of the Audio book.
Conclusion
Black Fathers, are important to the community. Any father is important to the community; but we’re concentrating on our community, the black community. Our community is jacked up. Like you said you go to your friend’s house and they’ve got a mom and a dad and food in the kitchen and everybody is getting along. You’re not outside throwing things at each other and having the police come by and all that which is a lot of which is the lifestyle of some children in the, black community.
Shout out to my Atlanta audience. Hopefully your daughter can listen on the radio WDJY 99.1 FM.
I want to encourage you guys if you’re watching us on YouTube to please subscribe. We’re trying to grow our channel because it’s much more exciting to actually see the person that I’m interviewing. So, if you’re watching on YouTube, kindly subscribe so you’ll be able to get the new videos as they come out every week.
If you’re listening on the radio and you want to be able to hear the podcast another time other than the radio broadcast, I encourage you to subscribe to any of the 11 podcast players that the show airs on.
If you’re in iTunes, please read and review because that allows us to grow our audience as well. I also have a Facebook group called Life Coach. I invite you guys all to join.
Would you like to have, 50 shades of Grey, in your Bedroom? Find out how to have the, sexual confidence, of, Dakota Johnson, by embracing your, Goddess, in the Bedroom. Life Coach Myrna Young, interviews Intimacy and Orgasmic Coach, Margo Blake. Margo is going to teach you How to Embrace Your, Goddess, in the Bedroom with, sexual confidence.
As a teen mom Margo was forced into developing her, sexual confidence, at an early age. At 48 years old she decided to learn the secrets of the, intimacy, that had always eluded her. Even though she was always, sexually confident, She wanted to know more about the RAW, Vulnerable parts of herself that she always held back from men and address her, fear of intimacy. She wanted to find out for herself and also to teach other women to embrace there, intimacy issues. So she started, intimacy coaching, teaching women How to be, sexually confident, and embrace their Goddess in the bedroom, 50 shades of grey, style.
Your own, 50 Shades of Grey, in the bedroom
In celebration of the movie “50 Shades Freed” and Valentines Day, I wanted to give my listeners a gift. A gift of Awakening along the lines of the Awakening felt by, Dakota Johnson, by Christian Grey.
Margo teaches women to use their voice to tell their partners what they want and don’t want. She teaches women that men should be in servitude to them and they should have, sexual confidence, about their sexuality, embracing their Goddess and their, 50 shades of grey, in the bedroom fully!
As women of all ages are bored with their partners, the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, captures and excites women, the same way Christian Grey captures and excites, Dakota Johnson. Women are bored with the vanilla love making and vanilla lifestyle. We want our ice cream with sprinkles on top!
Can you tell my audience your back story. How did you start, intimacy coaching?
Well I’m going to try to dothis very quickly because I am 54 yearsold and fabulous, so I’m going to try tospeed it up. I was a teenage mom at 16 years old. I started to embrace my, sexuality, as a teenager but lacked, sexual confidence, and I had no, intimacy, with my partners.
I got married and divorced and when Iturned 48 I felt I was missing out on life. I was close to 50 years old and my wholehistory of my relationships with men was sad. Men alwaysleft me. I’m going to transition out myrelationship which was going on 10 yearsand I wanted to be me and embrace my, sexuality and become more intimate with my partners.
That’s how Ibecame an, intimacy coach, and started, intimacy coaching. I dida transformational workshop and certification with One Taste Coachingand Istarted to mentor clients for the last
six years. The last three years I’ve beenon the journey ofbecoming an intimate orgasmic Life Coachwith One Taste.
2. Question 2: What advice would you give to young women today on how to embrace their, Goddess, in the Bedroom and to How to be confident about their, sexuality?
If I had to give myself mysixteen-year-old self advice about mysexuality the first thing I would have asked was, why am I with this particularguy? As they develop, sexual confidence, you want to start telling men what you want andby doing that, we create awhole world of men of servitude. So onceagain the advice I would give youngwomen and older women is learning tocommunicate what your desires are. I want it this way, no Idon’t want it that way.
50 shades of Grey
50 Shades of Grey the Movie
In the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, Dakota Johnson, is a young woman inexperienced in sex and becomes drawn in the world of a, dominatrix, Christian Grey. All three movies were well received; but it still received a lot of criticism about showcasing abuse of women. What do you think the message of the film, 50 shades of grey, is for young women like, Dakota Johnson?
The movie, 50 shades of Grey, to me is is all about love andservice and sex and that kind of thing
but I remember when I took my mom to see the movie. Iposted it on Facebookseveralwomen responded with outrage saying how can I glorify that movie itabuses women.
Margo- I embracethe movie, it’s of excitedusto escape having a vanilla lifestyle. It’s a different
type of lifestyle that they both agree on. It’s all about giving upand surrendering to your man. It’s all about, intimacy, and, sexual confidence. That’s what, Dakota Johnson, did she surrendered to the power-play. Shetrusted herself , and her, sexuality.
That person that posted on yourFacebook page that she was abused couldn’t have seen the movie. She didn’t seewhat you and I saw, because there was no abuse, it was it wasconsensual sex even though Christian Grey was a, dominatrix.
What constitutes, intimacy?
Margo what would you call, intimacy? Is it that raw vulnerablepart that you allow your partner or yourfriends to see?
Margo- Intimacy, it’s the partof you that does not lie. It’s the partof you that allows your friends, your family, or your lover to look you in the eye andconnect with you. Sohypothetically if you are feeling sad canlook at your daughter or your daughtercan look at you and connect with you?
Because some of us were masks. We wear amask our whole life, we don’t allow peopleto see that vulnerable part of us.
Intimacy, is being able to communicate whatyou’re feeling and not masking. Intimacy, is allowing thatperson to really see you without lyingand without the drama.
Myrna – How does, intimacy, come into play in the bedroom? How do we find our, Goddess, in the bedroom?
Margo – Intimacy, is having theability to tell your partner exactly howyou want it, when you want it and how longyou want it. That’s, intimacy. You don’t need tobe like an army instructor, you just communicate. There’s no words it’sjust your bodies and it’s just your mind.
Using the, energy healing, power of, Reiki, allows you to cause an effect in your life instead of reacting to cause and effect!
Listen to the full interview here:
I was listening to a podcast episode with Dr Joe Dispenza a few weeks back and he was talking about his events where people heal themselves from incurable diseases by changing their energy and accessing the, healing energy, of the quantum field.
He shared a story of a woman who had a stroke two years ago which according to the medical journals is one year and 10 months past the time for damaged brain cells to regenerate. This woman healed her brain and body through meditation. She tapped into, quantum energy, and healed her body.
Dr Dispenza says this is the Time in history when it is not enough to know, it is a time in history to know how.
How to Use the, Healing Energy, of, Reiki
Information stimulates thought, and fosters new connections in our brain.
Said another way, Information creates awareness and awareness is consciousness.
You can’t have consciousness without energy.
Nobody changes anything until they change their energy.
In this episode of the, Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life radio and podcast, Life Coach, Myrna Young and Social Worker and Mental Health Counselor, Arifah Yusuf, want to expand your consciousness on changing your energy to Change your life using, Reiki, energy and just changing your thoughts.
Instead of living by cause and effect, we want to teach you how to Cause an Effect!
Here is a story on how one woman used, Reiki, energy healing, to Transform her mind and body .
In 1985 Tori’s life started falling apart. Her baby was only 4 months old, in hospital suffering with lung problems, her husband was fighting for our country and the icing on the cake she was involved in a serious car accident with her oldest son who was 4 years old and in the car with her at the time of the accident. He suffered serious head injuries and she was in a coma for 72 hours.
When she came out of the coma, she felt this overwhelming guilt that she could not be there with her child to comfort him in the hospital.
She says everything she believed in, came to a sudden end. Hope was lost. She endured months and months of rehabilitation for not only her oldest son but for herself as well. Her 6 month old baby took was still suffering with lung problems so all these events took it’s toll on her family.
One afternoon while paging through a magazine her eye fell on a story about, Reiki. Up until this time, she had never heard of alternative or, energy healing, and found the article most interesting and informative.
Both her children as well as herself were in great need of, energy healing.
She did some research and enrolled in, Reiki, 1 and then followed that with, Reiki, level 2.
She says, Reiki, has been an absolute life saver for her and her children. With the support of, Reiki, and , energy healing, on all levels – body, mind and spirit she is grateful for the complete recovery of both herself and her sons.
Reiki, Energy Healing session from, Reiki Therapist
During this, energy healing, session my, Reiki Therapist, first cleaned the energy out of the room, then she funneled my, energy healing, up through my head. My head got so hot it was dripping with sweat. The sweat was not just on my face but under my hair.
Typically the person receiving, Reiki, energy healing, will lie down on a massage table, fully clothed. The, Reiki Therapist, would then either place hands on the client or place their hands slightly above the client’s body, but still within their energy field. Client’s often express that they feel warm, tingling sensations during a session.
When I came out of that session, I felt so good and I had clarity in my life.
The, Reiki, stories I just shared require advanced knowledge. I wanted to share to illustrate what is possible. But I want to share with you today how you too can transform your life by transforming your, Reiki energy, by just changing your thoughts.
You may be waiting your whole entire life to get the good breaks, to get the love of your life, the career you dream about, the home you dream about and you tell yourself that when I get these things I will be happy.
Unfortunately, thoughts of lack create more lack.
The trick is to begin to condition your, energy healing, and feel like you already have all those things. This is hard to do and takes a lot of visualization exercise. And if you are auditory like me almost a hat trick! But this is the secret to getting all you desire.
Arifah, from the mental health space do you help your clients to condition their minds and improve their, Reiki energy, body? How do you get someone who is feeling angry, depressed, insignificant to get to joy and gratitude?
I created a wellness daily action plan that I share with clients to help them condition their minds and improve their energy. It includes, journaling food and water intake, as well writing down priorities, 3 things they are grateful for and quotes or music that make them feel motivated to get active. We also focus on things that have brought joy in the past, such as achievements/moments of gratitude.
During my sessions with clients I also teach a few different breathing exercises for the optimization of mind-body, energy healing, and mindfulness exercises to help clear the mind and focus on the present. I also ask them to reflect and write down what they admire or love about themselves and a proud moment, it’s a great way to bring focus back to milestones and connect to what has worked in the past and what they need to do in the present to boost their, Reiki energy, and find their purpose.
Most the times, my clients are impacted by overthinking and challenges in their own lives, I try to remind them that we all go through this, but in those moments you have to focus on what you are willing to let go and what you want to change, making this decision alone will help increase your, Reiki energy, as you may feel a weight lifted, and a sense of freedom and new direction.
For example, recently my friend was told that her timing was coming and she needed to start preparing to leave this world. She prepared her mind mentally using, Reiki, methods and began to get her affairs in order and say her farewells. She planned her memorial to celebrate the life she lived, and thank everyone for being a part of her journey. She also thanked her lungs, heart and other organs for helping her live until she was almost 40.
In her farewell letter, she mentioned to seize every opportunity, live life to the fullest, forgive, take risks if your heart is in it and have gratitude. I feel blessed to be reminded every time that we need to focus our, Reiki energy, to build ourselves up and others, if something is bringing you down, find a solution or let go.
Getting outside can have an effect on mood and because you are exposed to the boundless, Reiki energy, that exist in nature. Feeling the sun on your face is just one way to draw in some of the vital, Reiki, energy that comes from your environment, as well bonding socially with people that are positive
I do a powerful meditation that helps me condition my, energy healing. It is not, Reiki, but it gives me clarity.
Remember You can’t attract anything good if you don’t feel good.
We have to Stop telling the story of our past and start telling the story of our future. As humans we were given the gift of imagination and the beauty of imagination is that our creator added a bonus. He hard wired our brain to not be able to tell the difference between imagination and the real thing. So day dream copiously!
Cause an effect in your life instead of reacting to cause and effect!
Your thoughts produce an electrical charge and feelings produce a magnetic charge.
How you think and how you feel broadcasts, quantum energy, fields that influences every atom in your life.
Thoughts send the signal out and feelings draw it back.
So when you imagine you already have your dream house, your dream man, living in abundance you think and feel good, that engages the law of attraction and draws these things to you.
Visualization of your story Past, Present, Future: Accessing, Reiki Energy
Tell the story of how You want your life to be and repeat it until you become it and your subconscious mind picks it up and manifests it.
Visualization exercise: 5 Ways to use Change your Life by Changing your Thoughts
You are relaxing at the beach and notice two chairs in a distance. You decide to walk over to the chairs and investigate. As you get closer the person sitting in the chair begin to look familiar. You recognize your future self 5 years from now.
You have realizing all your goals and living a perfect life.
One chair is empty so you sit in this chair opposite and begin to interview your future self.
Question 1:
How did you overcome a challenge you face today?
What action steps did you take?
Question 2:
What beliefs did you let go of to have this perfect life?
Question 3:
What makes you feel proud?
Question 4:
What new habits did you acquire?
Question 5:
What part of your story excites you?
Arifah how does the mental health counselor teach visualization?
Most of the time, when I am working with clients I will play a visualization recording or read one out loud for clients to focus on. For example, I love the exercise 54321 that focuses on connecting back to the present using your 4 senses. I also, have an exercise I call memory play back, where I have clients visualize a time and place in their life they remember feeling joy, and have them share details about that day out loud while their eyes are closed.
There are many visualization and guided imagery exercises that are in self help books and credible sites online, that people can use to practice when feeling overwhelmed. I always tell clients to ensure they practice visualization in a safe space, where they feel comfortable and can focus.
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Kidtasks – the application of good deeds now available on Google Aps.
Kidtasks is an organizer for your children’s daily routines, but it is good for the entire family.
This is how it works.
1) Parents create a list of tasks. It could be as simple as “feed your pet”, “brush your teeth”, “water the plants”, “do the dishes”, etc.
Parents you can even rate each task in points.
2) Family members do the tasks on the list and get points!
3) Parents set your own exchange rate. Eg 1 point may be equal to 1$. Having collected a certain amount of points, the children may ask their parents for their “salary” for their work!
Why this AP useful for PARENTS: Because it will help to give Kids a sense of responsibility and prepare them for the things they need to do when they become older.
Why this AP is useful for CHILDREN: Children will be rewarded when they help out with chores around the house! They will have the opportunity to get a “salary” or pocket money in exchange for working on their tasks.
Parents, this AP will teach your children responsibility and reward them in the process. To download this AP head over to Google Aps and search for Kidtasks.
Additional Resources for, Reiki, and Energy Healing
In order to make permanent changes in your life, the first question you must ask is, who am I? This question allows you to understand yourself and why you came into this body.
As a, Life coach, I want to share with you a , life coaching session, Life Coaching Part 1: Who am I, from my 6-week Life coaching workshop.
We can never become who we were meant to be unless we can first recognize who we are by asking the question, who am I.
To know thyself is to grow thyself
So let’s dive right in.
First a little about, who I am.
I am a certified, Life coach, specializing in Mindset and consciousness. In 2012 I wrote my first book “Becoming conscious, my awakening” because I started to understand, who I am. In this episode I will take you through the process of discovering Who you are, be asking the question, who am I.
If you like this content please share with your friends and remember to rate, review and subscribe to the podcast. Thank you
Life coach Myrna Young, who am I
Who am I, What are my deepest and truest values?
Your deepest values are the ones no one can move you off of. Your deepest values are the ones that if not met, hurt the most. Your truest values are the ones that make you cry.
Your deepest value could be that you would never hit your child. You were abused as a child and you vowed never to hit your child; but you get married and your spouse believes in spanking. He or she believes the bible that says spare the rod and spoil the child. So, your spouse spanks your child. It hurts you so much that you are forced to file for a divorce. Irreconcilable Differences!
Another example to find out, who am I, could be that you were brought up that nice girls do not have sex before marriage. It is a deal breaker in all your relationships. Your dates either leave you or they cheat on you; but you can’t bring yourself to have premarital sex. It is one of your deepest and truest values. As a result, you are single and unmarried at 40 years old.
Your deepest values are found by asking the question, who am I. It could be about how you feel about charity. I never pass someone on the street begging. I feel it is a blessing to have a dollar to give. My husband on the other hand, feels that everybody can find a job, and only the worthless people stand at the corner and beg. That is his deepest value and this is mine.
Your deepest value could take the form of image and by asking, who am I. You may be willing to endure a passionless marriage if it gives you status in your community. There are lots of big houses with white picket fences that house very unhappy families.
One of my deepest values was on domestic abuse. My ex-husband slapped me and I divorced him. Simple as that! My value took the form that I would never become a battered woman. I didn’t have to ask the question, who am I. I knew that if he hit me once he would hit me again. My daughter was 5 years old at the time. Most women would have a value in giving their children a family with a mom and dad. But mine was more self-centered. Nobody should judge your deepest values. They are yours. You must know them and accept them. They make you who you are. A unique being!
Who am I, do I believe in One True Love?
Your truest value could be found by also asking, who am I. How do you love and receive love?
Do you believe that you could only love one person and there is only one true love for you? What happens if you get a divorce or your spouse dies? Does that mean that love is over for you?
How do you receive love?
I heard a story once about a woman who would ask her husband every day if he loved her. He would say of course I love you honey. Yet she did not believe him and would ask him again the next day. She felt love by how much attention she received from her husband. As her insecurities grew she required more and more attention. The marriage ended in divorce.
Your deepest value could be on why you feel you are on this earth, in this body. Do you take the time to consider your purpose and your legacy?
Who am I, What are my preferences and priorities?
Who am I, What kind of house would I like to live in.
What country would I like to live in if I had a choice. Do I prefer beach front, mountain view or lots of trees and greenery? Visualize yourself sitting on the porch of this house.
Who am I, how do I like my men? Do I like them tall, dark and handsome? or am I looking for the spiritual connection and don’t care what form the package takes?
What kinds of music do I like? What kinds of music transports me to a good place?
What are my preferences during sex? Do I like it with the lights on or off?
What forms of entertainment do I prefer? Do I like the movies, going dancing or staying at home with a good book?
If I didn’t have to work, what would I do?
Who are my priorities in Life? Do my children come first, my spouse or God?
Do I make healthy eating and exercise a priority or do I never have time to get to it?
Who am I, What genuinely makes me happy?
I love walking in the park and listening to podcasts and books about successful people in life.
I love listening to the rain and the sounds of the ocean.
Ask yourself , who am I, and put your list of preferences on paper.
Who am I, What are my subconscious patterns and ways of reacting?
How do I react when I feel rejected?
Do I seek revenge?
Do I get even or do I eat a pint of ice-cream?
How do I look at the world?
Do I see abundance or do I see scarcity?
Do you feel jealous when your friends get a promotion or find love?
Are you glad for them or do you secretly hope they fail? No judgment just understanding.
Who am I, If you are happy for your friends, you are attracting abundance into your life. If you are jealous, you are saying that there is not enough to go around and you feel they have taken your share. So, you have a spirit of lack and that will not bring you abundance.
Who am I, What are your triggers?
Ask yourself? When do I pick up the phone and call my old lovers?
Is my trigger when I can’t get my lover on the phone and I think he or she is cheating on me?
I am one of those people who don’t bear malice. That means that I get angry for a few days and then I forgive. Unless it is the third time. I have a 3-strike rule!
As a Life coach, I ask my clients, what do they fear?
This is an important workshop. Fears are bottom feeders. Fears keep you at the tail and not the head of the table. If you have fears, you must face them and replace them.
Fear can also keep you bound in a bad or abusive relationship.
Here are some common fears:
Do you fear getting old?
Do you fear being alone?
Do you fear being homeless?
Do you fear getting fat?
Do you fear your spouse would leave you?
Do you fear losing your job?
Do you fear death?
Fear is an energy. Thoughts are the most powerful energy force in the universe.
Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of negative thoughts is fear.
It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
When you live in fear, you feel bad all the time.
If you allow fear to linger in your body and in your mind. It will not only attract the thing you fear the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to negative thoughts and emotions.
Negative thoughts transform your body into an acidic state.
In fear mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell.
Today I want to teach you how to use positive energy to clear the negative energies of fear. But first I want to touch on one of the spiritual laws of the universe. i.e The Law of Sowing and Reaping.
We all know of the physical laws like gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the Law of Sowing and Reaping can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world will manifest in the physical world.
Put another way means that whatever you plant in your mind you will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree.
In the spiritual world,
The soil is your mind.
The seeds are your thoughts.
The water are your actions.
And the sun is your feelings.
If you allow fear to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.
Energy flows where attention goes.
Whatever you focus on expands.
Everything is energy and all energy attracts similar energy.
You can’t put out negative energy and expect positive results.
You can’t plant apple trees and expect oranges.
Likewise, you can’t focus on what you fear and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal law of reaping and sowing it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind.
“You become what you think about”
When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.
So, write down something that is opposite of what you fear and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your fear.
Since light conquers darkness it will eventually have your fear for lunch!
This means whatever you fear you will attract. So, if you fear being alone that is what you will be, alone. If you fear your spouse will leave you, be prepared for that reality. It is very very important to replace your fears with your desires.
As we wrap up this episode, let’s recap
Ask yourself these questions:
Who am I?
What are my deepest values. What do I care about the most?
What are my preferences and priorities?
Who and what is important to me?
What makes me happy. What images make me cry?
How do I react to things or people who hurt me?
What do I fear the most?
As a certified Mindset Coach, I have designed a 6 Part Coaching program that starts off by bringing clarity to Who You Are because that is how you show up in your personal interactions.
