Tag Archives: incarcerated

How To Turn Your Pain Into Power

Abigail Damoah was wrongly convicted and sent to prison for 12 years. During this dark time in her life, she used inspiration for the bible story of David to find her, life purpose, of helping the women in, prison. She turned her, pain into power, and achieved tremendous personal growth by not seeing herself as a, victim.

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Bio

After serving five years in a Florida state prison for a crime that she didn’t commit, and then two years later being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and undergoing major surgery to remove most of her colon, Abigail learnt one very important life lesson; you will find treasure in the darkest places if you simply change your perspective by turning her, pain into power.

During her, incarceration, Abigail became a Christian and learnt that life isn’t just about her. She was surrounded by women who had endured the most horrific traumatic childhoods and were now being victimized by the very system that was supposed to help them. She found the strength to end her pity party, opening her eyes to the immense suffering of others.

She began to use her gifts to make an impact on the lives of the women she was housed with. It was during the worst season of her life that she experienced true peace, contentment, and fulfilment because she found her life’s purpose, and learned how to turn her, pain into power.  Abigail is the author of ” She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny”

book: She is Risen Turning Pain into Power
book: She is Risen Turning Pain into Power

Using Adversity to turn pain into power

Myrna: All right, so here we have a whole bunch of, adversity. Being sentenced to 12 years in, prison, even if it’s for a crime you do commit, it is very traumatic. It is worst when it is a crime that you didn’t commit.

Can you share your story, why you were sentenced to 12 years in, prison? I know you said you only served five of those 12 years.  Tell us how you survived that and turned that, pain into power?

Abigail: Okay, so I had my dream to live in America.  I’m from the United Kingdom and after I finished my undergraduate degree. I relocated to Atlanta, Georgia to study and pursue an MBA. I got an internship in Florida. I flew down to Florida and I met a man.  One night he called wanting to go out to a nightclub, and I agreed. He came and picked me up and we made our way to the nightclub and ended up having a car accident where he was killed, and I was seriously injured.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

My injuries were so extensive that I spent over six weeks in the hospital. My parents at the time decided the best course of action was to take me back to the UK, because there’s no way I was going to be able to look after myself in the USA.  I recuperated and got back on my feet. And then in 2011, the state of Florida issued an extradition warrant for my arrest. I was charged with vehicular homicide. The legal definition for that is reckless driving.

So, I was accused of driving in such a dangerous manner that caused death or great bodily harm to another. While I was waiting for the extradition, I began to study the laws surrounding my case and discovered that I should never have been charged with a crime in the first place. The state of Florida had sent over the deposition, the discovery and detail they had a very detailed chronology, of exactly what happened. And one of the things that should have exonerated me from the beginning, was the fact that the road was under reconstruction at the time, so they had taken down all the speed signs.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
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Extradition to the USA

There were no warning signs that the road was about to change and if you’re not familiar with that road, you would not know that you need to slow down. So, when an accident happened, all of a sudden, a curve came up and I hit the curb and the car ended up flipping over and going into a tree. So, based on that alone, I should never have been charged with a crime. But if you know anything about the laws in the United States, you know, sometimes it can be a bit one sided.

I was extradited to America to stand trial. I had a judge who had no legal integrity, because of the way my case had been portrayed in the media. She was determined to make an example out of me. I was found guilty sentenced to 12 years Florida State Prison. After serving 5 years, the case was dismissed.

Myrna: Wow. So sorry to hear what you have been through. I’m assuming you were driving.

Abigail:  Yes, I was driving, it wasn’t my car.

Myrna: Yeah, that’s what I thought because he came to pick you up.

Abigail: The reason I was driving was because he got so drunk, that he was unable to continue the journey.  I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The Pain of prison

Myrna: So sorry for your pain. But the fact that the case was dismissed, I’m assuming that you’ve cleared your name.

Abigail: Yes, yes. My name is completely cleared. The sentence was vacated, and I was released from, prison.

Myrna: Did you get any money for it?

Abigail: No, absolutely nothing. The state of Florida had laws to protect themselves against wrongful convictions. So, I was knocked out of financial assistance there. But, it was a driving force behind what I do now because I had to start my life from scratch.  I had to use the gifts that I had been given to build a life for myself, and turn my, pain into power.  I didn’t have anything. I came back to nothing, but God worked it out for my good.

Going through the tunnel of adversity

Myrna: Well, they say that a lot of times, we must go through the tunnel, we must be beaten down all the way to the bottom, before we find our, purpose.  We all go screaming into it because we really don’t want to go through pain, we don’t want to hit rock bottom. I’m in this space where I interview a lot of people and I remember talking to this woman.  Her husband died and she started her coaching practice helping other women handle, grief. She turned her, pain into power, but we all prefer not to go through the pain even if it is the fire starter to our, life purpose.

So how did you manage after also being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and having most of your colon removed?

Abigail: I wasn’t raised in a Christian household, but I had a lot of Christian friends. If there’s one thing that I learned from them, even while I wasn’t a believer, was that they had this ability to see past their circumstances. So, before I even arrived in America, they were already speaking life into my situation. They were already telling me that this was going to work out for my good, something good is gonna come out of this.

And it wasn’t until, I became a Christian and I began to read the Bible and I began to apply those principles, that I was strengthened in that area. God gave me a perspective that enabled me to see things through his eyes, he gave me the ability to step outside of myself. I was surrounded by people who are who were suffering, who have been through women the worst heinous things.  My whole perception changed.

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Helping people in prison turn their pain into power

Not only are people dying from much worse situations than I had, but I had to reframe my situation to say, okay, I’m in, prison, now, what can I do while I’m here to make an impact on the lives of the women that I am housed with? How do I turn my, pain into power?

I had a writing gift and there are women that couldn’t read or write. I remember the very first time I tapped into that.  There was a woman that I was, bunking in, prison, she had a terrible situation, her children have been taken into DCF custody because of her arrest.

So, I wrote a letter for her. explaining the situation to DCF, speaking in legal terminology. She wanted her children to be put into the custody of her sister while she was in, prison, and lo and behold, that’s exactly what happened. Two weeks later, she came to me, I mean, she was in floods of tears. She was so grateful that I took the time to do this for her, and it was at that moment that I realized that what my, purpose, is connected to my gift of writing. Writing was how I was going to turn my, pain into power.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Figuring out my life purpose

I also realized that my, purpose, had nothing to do with me, it was to enrich the lives of the people that I am surrounded by. So, from that moment, my prayers changed from Lord get me out of here, I can’t take this anymore to Lord who are the people in, prison, that you want me to impact?  That started a tsunami of work. My inmates just started coming to get the help they needed.  I started helping them write letters, probation letters, letters to their family, etc. It was one of the most, fulfilling aspects of my time in, prison.

Myrna: Now, how did you take own ownership of your situation? What was your internal dialogue?

Abigail: I dropped the, victim mentality. You know, it’s so easy when you’re going through a situation whatever it is, it’s so easy to point the finger and say is your fault that I’m here, but when you play the, victim, you are not helping anybody. You’re not helping yourself and you’re not helping anyone else. When I was in the, victim, state I felt so sorry for myself. You know, such an injustice had taken place.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Victims have no power

I was depressed, I was in a place of desolation, I couldn’t sleep at night, I had no peace. But the moment I relinquished that, victim mentality, I came to the revelation that it wasn’t the state of Florida that put me in, prison, to punish me. I was placed there strategically to be empowered, and then to empower. I was placed there to turn my, pain into power.

So once my, mindset, changed, I was able to say I am going to use this situation to become the best person that I be and to help as many people as I can while I’m in here. That is exactly how I took ownership of my situation. I took the power out the hands in the state of Florida, and turned, my pain into power, because, victims, have no power.

Myrna: This is so true. Victims have no power. In my book, Out of the Snares, A story of Hope and Encouragement, I have a full chapter on, victims.  My story was that I was abused as a child, but I never became a, victim. In fact, what I suggest we become a, player. You know, when you are playing a game of blackjack and the cards that you’re dealt with are bad cards?  People use those same bad cards to win, in the same way when you become a, player instead of becoming a, victim, you play with the cards you are dealt.  And that’s exactly what you did, you became a, player in the game, you decided that these are the cards that I’ve been handed, and I am going to make the best of the situation. I am going to turn this, pain into power.

How to become a player and turn pain into power

Myrna: You could have played the “what if game”. What if I didn’t go out? What if I didn’t agree to drive?  But instead you said it happened. There’s no way you can go backwards, all you can do is make the best of the situation that you have right now and use it to help people and learn from it and turn your, pain into power.

What is the lesson that that that you took out of that? Were you able to equate it to a, Bible story? I want to talk about Joseph who was thrown in, prison, and it was strategic to God’s plan for him.  And I am also thinking of a Job which is the chapter reading now in the Bible and all the bad things that happened to him.

Job declared God does only do good things for you. God does good things, and he does bad things.

Abigail: Joseph was one of my favorite stories in the Bible. And it wasn’t until I got to that Genesis chapter 37, where Joseph was put in, prison, that I found strength in my situation. Prison, shaped Joseph into the man that God needed him to be. I knew that my time in, prison, was in God’s hands, just based on that story alone. I learned a lot from Joseph and his, mindset, during that time. He refused to be a, victim, he used his time to assist other people. He was looking for others to help while he was, incarcerated, and it opened the door to his freedom.

Myrna: Yes, exactly helping people got him introduced to the king.

Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV – How to Trun Your pain into power 

Using dreams and visions for your purpose

Abigail: That was a very powerful story for me, and I used that, bible story, to empower myself.  So my God has given me dreams and visions, and I knew that, okay, I’m not living the dream and the vision now, but it is this situation here that is going to lead me to the destiny that God has for me and I had to remind myself of that daily.

Myrna: That’s amazing, I am loving our conversation.  One of my personal mantras is that just like an airplane needs resistance to take off the ground, we need resistance to move up our next level. And whenever I have resistance in my life, when I was working full time when I received resistance eg. one door closed or something, I always knew that resistance was supposed to push me forward and up. The door closing from being fired got me into, Life coaching, helping women to, transform their mind.

A lot of women, especially minority women live in the, wilderness, and in order for them to get out of the, wilderness, they have to change their, mindset.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny

Tell us about your book, your book is called “She Is Risen from Destitute To Destiny.” Why did you write it? And what do you want people to walk away with?

Abigail: I wrote the book because I knew that I had a story to tell number one, and it wasn’t a story of the tragedies, but stories of, empowerment. The book a memoir, going back to my childhood, I packed a lot of things and I think that’s very important that you need to go back to, to know why things are the way they were. So, I went through that process in the book, I had a very turbulent teenage years, connected to childhood. But despite those challenges, I still managed to make something all my life, and it didn’t come easily, or immediately at all.

It was a very, very difficult situation and a very, very difficult process. And I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but what I do know is that you can, turn your pain into power, if you change your perspective on a situation.  I could have not written this book. I could have so easily come out of, prison, and just felt sorry for myself, and accept government assistance and nobody would have blamed me

Teaching others how to overcome adversity

So, I had to look at the situation and ask myself what have I learned from this? And not only what have I learnt from it, but now what can I do about it? I decided I can teach other people about how to overcome, adversity.  One of the things that helped me while I was, incarcerated, were the different, prison ministries. People would share these terrible stories, but they got through it, and that’s something that inspired me.

Myrna: Well, that’s the reason I asked you if you’re going into the, prison, and doing, prison ministry, because I know your story is powerful. Now you are on the radio, podcast and PTWWN TV, sharing your story, not only the people that are in, prison, is going to hear this, but people all over the world. Your story doesn’t just speak to someone in, prison, but speaks to any women in the, wilderness, the, wilderness, can be any dry place.

Additional Resources

Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

 

 

Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

Does serving a, prison, sentence change your outlook in life?  Rocky Singh Kandola talks to us today on the subjects of,  rape, child abuse, prison, physical assault, and more.

Listen to the full interview here:

Rocky Singh Kandola is a 33 year old successful Indian businessman born in New York City and currently living in Los Angeles. Rocky owns a showroom in a high traffic area in the downtown area of Los Angeles. He says “I am both a felon and a Philosophy Graduate”   Rocky spent his “high school” life in 9 different facilities and, boot camps, around the world, some of which are now closed due to severe, child abuse, rape, and torture. He have almost died at least 8 times. Half of his face and jaw are fake from an attempted murder on his life. He’s been shot, stabbed, kidnapped, and kicked in the face resulting in over 20 major surgeries in his adult life.

How did Rocky end up in Prison

Myrna – Can you tell us your story of what led to you being, incarcerated.

Rocky – I spent a lot of time in different facilities and, boot camps, across the world at a young age.  My father was a very traditional Indian parent. Indian kids were supposed to stay home, study and get straight A’s. I was not that kid, I was a lot more outspoken. I was wild and carefree.  I wanted to be out and about and party with friends so me and my father bumped heads often.

I was sent to my first worldwide association of specialty program, boot camp, at age 15. Paris Hilton recently shed a lot of light on these, child abuse, boots camps, in her documentary.

Myrna – Oh my gosh, I saw her documentary.

Rocky – I went to one of the, boot camps, that were outside of the U.S, this one was in Mexico.  Keep in mind these are for-profit businesses that operate in very manipulative ways towards the parents as well as towards the children in order to further their business.

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
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Life in Boot Camps

My parents didn’t really know about the trauma the, child abuse, the, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or the, mental abuse, that was going on at these, boot camps.  They would tell the parents your kids are going to manipulate you.  They’re going to lie to you, don’t listen to them.  Our communication was controlled, we weren’t allowed to write or talk call home.

These, group homes,  boot camps, very regimented.  As soon as you walked in, your hair is shaved, you’re sleeping on the ground for 10 days,  you’re screamed at, or you’re beaten, and yelled at.  Forced to lay in positions on your stomach with  your chin on the ground and your hands and feet tied behind your back for hours.

You’re forced to wake up at 2 am o’clock in the middle of the night and go outside and stand in the rain and count the rain. These, group homes, boot camps, did all kinds of cruel mental games to brainwash and break a child.  It’s not hard to break a child especially at that age.

I learned to adapt and to work the system and I used that knowledge when I was in, prison. I would go into these, group homes, boot camps, every six months of my life, then go home, raise hell and be sent to another, group home, 6 months later.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
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Did life in these book camps train you for Prison?

Myrna – What did you get arrested for and sent to, prison?

Rocky – The, prison, thing came about because I was selling drugs and doing everything from robbing, stealing,  breaking into cars. I started getting into heavier drugs until the federal government and the state local police set up a sting operation. This task force followed me around for quite a bit of time and got me to sell narcotics to an undercover agent.

I was arrested and charged with distribution. I was sentenced to  seven to nine years in, prison.

Prison, was very scary place; but after a few months, I got out I kind of got back in the same lifestyle.  I’m not really the type person you can scare or punish into changing.

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Does a prison sentence reform the inmate?

Myrna – You were in, prison, I think you said for seven or eight years and then you said that when you came out of, prison, you went back into the same lifestyle.  What you think, prison, did for you if anything?

Rocky – I was in prison for about two years,  in jail for a year then rehab for another year.

I learned so much in, prison.  There’s people going to, prison, with different attitudes, different crimes. I  went in there as an adaptable chameleon.  I’ve been institutionalized since I was 11, so I knew it was gonna be another institution.  I knew there were certain things I had to learn like how to navigate between judges and counselors and convicts and inmates.

I didn’t really have any troubles, I had a pretty decent level of respect for, prison. People were curious about me, why was I in prison in Alabama? What was this Indian kid doing in a, prison, in Alabama?

On top of that I spoke Spanish and I played basketball, so it was very easy to transfer between a lot of race wars in an Alabama, prison. It was easy to go between White and Black and Mexican inmates.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
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Selling Drugs in Prison

I quickly developed a sense of wanting to help, so I started writing motions for people in, prison.  Most inmates didn’t know how to read and write. But in spite of wanting to help and do good, I quickly got back into selling drugs in, prison.

Myrna – How do you sell drugs in, prison?

Rocky – There are certain areas in, prison,  you meet someone that’s for lack of a better term gay and they’re happy putting substances inside of their butt area and they would sneak in drugs for you. They would then clean it out, put it in a certain area, tell you where it is and you go pick it up. I then go bag it up and then redistribute it.

It’s a whole different world inside, prisons. I am smiling now but looking back it was  nerve-wracking and very scary, because if you get caught, you’re in big trouble. Outside of that I liked the time I had to myself in, prison. I read books and journal and make a plan for my life.

I started plans for my business plan in, prison.

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Planning your life while inside Prison

When you take your time while you’re in, prison,  to really set goals and set a future up for yourself, when you get out of, prison, you’re already a step ahead versus the person who just

closed their eyes and did their time in, prison.

It’s such an important thing planning and preparing and framing your mind for when you leave, prison. I’ve learned in my life from, sexual abuse, physical abuse,  in , boot camps,  and being beaten in, jail.

Myrna – You have to change your mindset, that is why this the show is called the Transform your Mind podcast. The system feels that when they, incarcerate, people, they felt punishing them by sending them to, prison, or, jail, for a couple of years that they will reform them and change behaviors. But like you said you can go to, prison,  and get worse because drugs are still selling in, prison.

You send someone in there who’s innocent and they come out worse than when they went  in, or you can go to, prison,  and you can get your GED.  Some go to, prison, and had such a horrible time in there that they vow never to go back to, prison.

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Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse
Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse

 

Statistics of repeat offenders Recidivism to prison

Myrna – What is the statistics of how many people reform from being sent to, prison, and the percentage of those who are repeat offenders?

Rocky –  I believe our, recidivism, rate in America is close to 70 percent. I went back to, jail, twice after my release from, prison, twice for about a month. The system to be truthful is

almost designed for, recidivism, to make you mess up, so you can go right back to, prison, and serve more time.

Myrna- I would say that you were lucky that your father sent you to India and you used that opportunity to start your hair business. Tell us about your business.

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Planning a successful business from Prison

Rocky – I started my business plan from , prison. Then when I was in India after I left, prison, I had time to meet manufacturers, go to the small markets where they’re selling hair and really do a lot of research. Everything happens for a reason.  I never thought I’d be in India after, prison.  While I was there and everything started falling into place. Within a week I had the name for my business, paid for the domain and then made a Facebook post. I had the ability to learn from an Indian perspective about the manufacturing side before I learned about marketing in the U.S.

Myrna – How can listeners contact you and support your business?

Rocky – My main website and personal blog is hair made https://www.rockykandola.com/

And https://hairmaidenindia.com

You will find links there to all my past podcast episodes.  You’ll have all the businesses that I currently run, from my hair company, to my Tea company, to my vacation rental property company in Florida.

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https://www.youtube.com/c/mskekewyatt/videos

 

Conclusion

In closing I want to remind you to subscribe to the Transform your Mind Podcast YouTube channel or iTunes and please rate and review our podcast.

I would also like to invite you to join my private Facebook group called life coach, we have a lot of life Coaches with daily inspirational messages.

 

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-mothers-abandonment/