Candice McCain joins life coach Myrna Young to share her journey through, alcohol addiction, and lessons learned from alcoholics anonymous (AA). Dealing with grief and battling cancer, as detailed in her book “Facing Fear, Finding Hope.” Through personal anecdotes and lessons learned from AA, Candice reveals how spirituality and resilience have guided her through life's challenges. This episode is a testament to facing adversity and finding light amidst darkness, with a focus on hope, healing, and the importance of having a support system. Candice's story offers inspiration and practical advice for anyone navigating their own difficult path.
The power of spirituality and AA support: Embracing spirituality and seeking support through programs like AA can significantly aid in overcoming, alcohol addiction.
Transformative life lessons from adversity: Challenging experiences often foster resilience, self-awareness, and personal growth.
Handling grief and maintaining hope: Grief can be managed and hope sustained through faith, gratitude, and purposeful action.
Introduction
In an insightful conversation between life coach Myrna Young and guest Candice McCain, several profound themes emerge surrounding alcoholism, loss, and finding hope amidst fear. Through recounting personal experiences, McCain reveals how overcoming life’s tribulations has shaped her into a beacon of hope for others. This article explores pivotal themes from their discourse, on the Transform Your Mind podcast, shedding light on lessons learnt from AA that can help anyone navigating similar struggles.
The Power of Spirituality and AA Support for Alcohol Addiction
Alcoholism is a formidable challenge, but Candice McCain’s story illustrates the transformative power of spirituality and structured support systems. She recounts her descent into alcoholism and, alcohol addiction, stemming from an inability to cope with pain and stress. Feeling powerless, she found solace in drinking as a means to escape reality. However, a pivotal moment arrived when she reached out to an old friend who was unknowingly an alcoholic. This serendipitous connection led her to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
“By the grace of God, this person said, Candice, I'm picking you up and I'm taking you to AA.”
AA’s foundational approach of combining spirituality with community support played a critical role in McCain's recovery from, alcohol addiction. She highlights the importance of admitting powerlessness over alcohol—a crucial step in AA’s program.
“Step one meant I am powerless over alcohol, and my life's become unmanageable.”
The transformation deepened as she embraced the spiritual elements of the program, which advocates for turning one's will and life over to a higher power. McCain’s shift from self-pity to spiritual faith brought light into her life, fostering a gradual but powerful journey towards sobriety.
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Life’s adversities can often be a source of profound personal growth and transformation. McCain’s experiences underscore the lessons learned from AA in facing significant challenges head-on. Her relationship with her father, an influential figure in her life, shaped many of her values and fears. His advice ranged from the importance of hard work to the necessity of independence for women.
“He taught me to work hard and that hard work wouldn't kill me. He told me that life was to be enjoyed.”
However, the pressures to meet these expectations sometimes led McCain to struggle with her self-worth. The turning point came through AA’s principle of “maintaining one's side of the street,” which taught her to focus on her own actions and reactions rather than shouldering undue blame.
“When I started to face everything and recover, I noticed that you really have to go through things, and then you don't have to go through them again… It changed me.”
Furthermore, McCain’s bout with cancer taught her the importance of being proactive, staying informed, and finding joy even in trying times. Her journey reflects how facing fears and adversities cultivates resilience, helping individuals emerge stronger and more self-aware.
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Handling Grief and Maintaining Hope
Dealing with the loss of a loved one is one of the hardest aspects of life. McCain’s account of her father’s battle with pancreatic cancer and eventual passing reveals how to navigate grief while keeping hope alive. She illustrates how maintaining a connection to her higher power through prayer and spiritual practices provided comfort and direction.
“Every day I prayed. Every single morning, I lit candles and prayed, and I did my part and I helped him. And then I left the rest up to my higher power.”
Gratitude also played a central role in handling her grief. By focusing on the positive moments and the chance to give back to her father during his final days, McCain found solace and strength. Her belief in miracles and spiritual experiences further invigorated her with hope amidst sorrow.
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Book: Facing Fear Finding Hope
“So that's really where my book came from, with. From those spiritual experiences, those miraculous experiences like my dad had in a miraculous remission that nobody could explain, no doctor could explain.”
Her story exemplifies the balance of action and faith—doing everything within one’s power and then trusting in a higher power to guide the rest.
McCain’s journey offers insightful lessons on overcoming life’s hurdles with grace and resilience. Her tacit endorsement of AA as a lifeline for those battling alcoholism, the embrace of personal growth through hardship, and the reliance on spiritual faith during times of grief collectively form a powerful testimonial. Such narratives reinforce the notion that even in the face of fear, hope can be found, and life’s greatest challenges can be overcome.
In this post I share a technique for dealing with automatic negative thoughts (ants) called stop drop and roll as a strategy to achieve mental peace. If you have ever been bothered by depression, fear, mental stress or any other negative emotion. Download the podcast to learn how to stop these thoughts, drop all the weight of these emotions and roll with the punches. I provide actionable strategies to overcome mental turmoil and find peace.
Understanding ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts): Recognize how automatic negative thoughts (ANTS) can hijack your mental peace and control your responses.
Stop, Drop, and Roll Technique: Apply these fire safety principles to your mind to halt negative thinking, let go of harmful emotions, and adapt flexibly to life's challenges.
Harnessing the Power of Stop, Drop, and Roll in Mental Health
In our fast-paced world, our minds often become chaotic battlefields, fraught with stress, anxiety, and negative thoughts. This mental turmoil can be likened to a fire that, if unchecked, can consume our peace and serenity. Much like the practical advice offered by the Red Cross in case of physical fire—stop, drop, and roll—the same principles can be applied to the mental fires we face. Understanding how to combat these mental battles effectively can lead to a more peaceful and fulfilled life.
Coach Myrna’s approach to “stop, drop, and roll” during mental distress translates into three critical processes: halting negative thoughts, shedding unhelpful emotions, and adapting to life's difficulties with resilience.
Stop the Onslaught of Negative Thoughts for mental peace
Stop represents the crucial first step in halting the cascade of negative thoughts that often flood our minds. Coach Myrna points out how negative thoughts, or ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts), drag us into a mental battlefield where peace is stripped away by fear and uncertainty. These thoughts are dangerous not because they reflect reality, but because they create an illusion of impending doom—defined aptly by the acronym FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real).
“Do you know the definition of fear is false evidence appearing real, and most of your unwanted thoughts and ANTs are the same thing—false evidence appearing real.”
By stopping these thoughts in their tracks, we create a moment of stillness, allowing ourselves the space to evaluate whether there's truly a “fire” or if it's just our imagination running wild. This pause is not about denial or suppression but about gaining clarity and regaining mental control.
Once we have halted the flood of negative thoughts, the next step is to Drop the burdensome emotions that weigh us down. Negative emotions like grudges, fears, and self-doubt act as heavy armor on the battlefield of the mind, hindering our progress and making challenges seem insurmountable.
“Holding on to grudges, fear, and self-doubt only weighs us down in the Battlefield of the Mind. By dropping these hindrances, we free ourselves to move more swiftly and gracefully through life’s challenges.”
Shedding these harmful emotions is akin to setting down an unnecessary load. It frees us to navigate life’s difficulties with ease and grace, enhancing our mental agility and resilience. The act of dropping these emotions emphasizes the importance of forgiveness, self-compassion, and letting go of what no longer serves our well-being.
To find, mental peace, we need to accept our circumstances and roll with the punches. After dropping unnecessary burdens, Roll emphasizes the need for flexibility and adaptability in the face of life’s inevitable ups and downs. Adversity is an unavoidable part of life, and our ability to roll with the punches—much like physical rolling to extinguish flames—dictates our mental resilience.
“In the face of adversity, rolling with the punches becomes essential. Flexibility is our greatest Ally, enabling us to adapt to changing circumstances with ease.”
Rather than resisting life’s twists and turns, embracing them allows us to navigate the unpredictable terrain of the mind. This adaptability helps mitigate the persistence of negative thoughts, enabling us to handle them more effectively. Coach Myrna suggests visualizing negative thoughts as colored balloons, letting them float away, thus preventing them from taking a strong hold on our psyche.
The true victory in the battle of the mind isn’t about force but about developing a deep understanding of ourselves through mindfulness, meditation, and self-reflection. These practices build a foundation for mental resilience, offering calm amidst chaos and clarity amidst confusion.
“Just as a skilled Warrior hones his craft through practice and discipline, we too must cultivate mental resilience through mindfulness, meditation, and self-reflection.”
By committing to these self-care practices, we arm ourselves with the necessary tools to confront our inner demons and emerge stronger and wiser. The goal isn’t external conquest but inner peace—an inner sanctum of serenity that isn’t easily disturbed by external events.
Applying the stop, drop, and roll technique to the battle of the mind transforms our approach to mental health. It shifts our focus from reaction to proaction, from resistance to acceptance, and from turmoil to tranquility.
“Pause to regain your bearings, release what no longer serves you, and fully embrace the fluidity of life’s journey.”
As we learn to stop, drop, and roll with the punches of life, we cultivate a resilience that isn't just about surviving the fire but thriving through it. This resilience is measured by our inner peace—our ability to remain firm in adversity and emerge from challenges with greater wisdom and strength.
In practicing these techniques, we realize that the battleground of the mind is manageable. By stopping automatic negative thoughts, dropping burdensome emotions, and rolling with life’s inevitable challenges, we don’t just douse the mental fires; we transform them into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.
Conclusion
By embracing the principles of stop, drop, and roll, as conveyed by Coach Myrna, we arm ourselves with a practical and effective strategy for mastering the battles within our minds. This approach offers a pathway to not only manage but to transcend the challenges posed by our automatic negative thoughts, cultivating a life of greater peace, resilience, and inner harmony.
How to overcome fear, we have to realize that fear comes from our thoughts. It is not real, it is an, energy, and thoughts are the most powerful, energy, force in the universe. Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of, negative thoughts, is, fear. It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
If you allow, fear, to linger in your body and in your mind, It will not only attract the thing you, fear, the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to, negative thoughts, or, fear. Negative thoughts, transform your body into an acidic state.
Fear, is a, negative thought, magnified to the 1000th degree.
In, fear, mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell!
Unfortunately, your brain cannot detect the difference between your imagination and reality, so the person in the grip of fear cannot tell the difference. They cannot tell that, fear, it is “False Evidence Appearing Real.”
Using Positive Energy to banish Fear
Today I want to teach you how to use, positive energy, to clear the, negative energy, of, fear. But first I want to review one of the Spiritual Laws of the Universe.
We all know of the physical laws like, Gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are Spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the spiritual “Law of Sowing and reaping” can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world of your thoughts will manifest in the physical world.
Put another way, that means whatever you plant in the fertile soil of your mind, will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree. Except that in the spiritual world;
The soil is your mind, The seeds are your thoughts,
The water are your actions,
And The sun is your feelings.
If you allow, fear, to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.
Energy flows where Attention Goes
Whatever you focus on expands.
Fear is Negative Energy
Everything is, energy, and all, energy, attracts similar energies.
You can't put out, negative energy, and expect positive results.
You can't plant apple trees and expect oranges.
Likewise, you can't focus on what you, fear, and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you, fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal Law of Reaping and Sowing, it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind
“You become what you think about”
When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.
How to overcome fear
Exercise: How to overcome fear, write down something that is opposite of what you, fear, and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your, fear.
Since light conquers darkness, it will eventually have your, fear, for lunch!
Imagine you having fun traveling the world in crystal clear clarity.
Say daily affirmations that compliments your desire.
Visualize your goal so much that sometimes you are not sure what is imagined and what is reality;
the same way that you let fear take you out of reality.
Don't get disappointed if it takes time to perfect this. Remember that positive things take time to manifest,
it is the negative ones that show up quickly.
Weeds will sprout up, negative thoughts, of failure will sprout up.
So, every morning find the weeds and dig them up.
Remember a successful gardener will always cultivate his land.
Cultivate your mind for success.
Life is energy, whatever you put out, is returned to you.
The mind does not care what seeds you plant; it will always return what you plant.
You can plant wealth or you can plant poverty.
You can plant fear or you can plant happiness.
Here is an excerpt from the book: The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology:
The Buddha faced plenty of his own fear and terror of imminent death. This is a passage from the Buddha’s early writings that Jack Kornfield, a teacher who helped introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West, quotes in his book.
How would it be if in the dark of the month, with no moon, I were to enter the most strange and frightening places, near tombs and in the thick of the forest, that I might come to understand fear and terror. And doing so, a wild animal would approach or the wind rustle the leaves and I would think, “Perhaps the fear and terror now comes.” And being resolved to dispel the hold of that fear and terror, I remained in whatever posture it arose, sitting or standing, walking or lying down. I did not change until I had faced that fear and terror in that very posture, until I was free of its hold upon me … And having this thought, I did so. By facing the, fear, and terror I became free.
Do not Fear: Definition of fear
Fear – The definition of fear, is false objects appearing real, as per the about passage, can be released by standing your ground. Our instinctive reaction to, fear, is to turn and run because as humans we are hard wired to run from pain and towards pleasure. But, as the Buddha teaches in the passage above if you stand and have the courage to not move, you become free you, let go of fear, and realize that your imagination is always worse than the reality.
Let me share a personal story on how I overcame, fear and, remove negative energy from home.
When I first came to the United States of America, I came as a business owner. I did not have any of the benefits of a permanent resident. As my business was building, I decided to earn money as a sales person selling vacations. I was not authorized to work in the US, so I became very fearful of being found out and being deported. Every night I would dream that the immigration officials would come to my house and take me away in handcuffs. Sometimes I would dream that they would throw me in the back of the trunk.
One day, my pastor preached a sermon on, the fear factor. He said that God promises to carry your burdens, so give them to God. He said when you give your, fears, and heavy loads to God, you can't worry or take them back because that would mean that you don't have faith in God's promise to carry them. He asked the congregation to write our, fears, and heavy burdens on a piece of paper and ceremoniously throw them at the alter giving them to God.
I wrote my, fear, of being deported on a piece of paper and threw in on the alter. In doing so, I, let go of fear, and became free because I gave it away to someone else, God. The good news is that I no longer was afraid of anything. Every time something came up that would potentially me fearful, I would face it and know that it will work out for my good. I stood on the scripture “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you.”
Meditation to Let go of Fear
Sit quietly in a chair, be comfortable.
Place feet flat on the floor, hands clasped in your lap. Close your eyes. Be present. Focus on your breathing, feel your belly rise and fall under your clasped hands.
Breathe in for a count of 4 and breathe out for account of 6. Thus, slowing down your rhythmic cycles. Be mindful of the air as it passes through your nostrils down your esophagus and into your abdomen. If your mind wanders off bring it back gently to your breathe. Your mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Concentrating on your breathe bypasses your mind. Once you slow your cycles and quiet your mind, you are now in the receptive mode to change your programming.
Think briefly about something you, fear. Today we will use as our example the, fear of flying. Today we are going to use our imagination to replicate the experience of flying while you are sitting comfortably and safely in your chair.
Let's begin. visualize you are at the airport with your loved ones, your husband and 2 children. You are on your way to Venice, Italy. You chose Venice because you wanted a romantic vacation with your husband. You can't wait to ride on the Gondolas and be serenaded with live music, going to the opera and have the experience of taking a water taxi everywhere. You are excited. This energy is positive.
You let this feeling of euphoria wash over you, you feel your body tingle with this positive energy. You feel good!
Now you are boarding the plane, you are starting to feel a little anxious. You board the plane and find your seat, you buckle yourself in. The pilot announces that your flight time is 6 hours and that he will be flying at a cruising altitude of 35,000 feet. He advises you to give your attention the flight attendant and pay attention to the safety information. You mentally note your exits. You listen to what to do in the event of a water landing! Your mind is going nuts with fear. Your heart starts to palpitate rapidly, you start to sweat.
Now the airplane is taxing down the runway at full speed, then lifts off the ground.
You squeeze your husband's hand, you are hardly breathing, your whole body is tight. The plane is climbing it shakes a little. You are so scared the sweat starts dripping from your forehead. The plane reaches cruising altitude, the pilot turns off the fasten seat belt sign and people start moving about the plane. You calm down a little, but still aware of every movement of the plane.
The flight attendants come around and offer beverages. You ask for a glass of wine. You drink it down in one gulp! You start to feel calmer. The flight is uneventful. After what seems like an eternity the pilot announces that in 30 minutes he will be starting his descent into Venice. Your fear returns, the plane shakes a little as it descends and you are once again in the grip of fear. The plane touches down and speeds down the runway braking speed. Your body is tight, your breathing shallow. Then it is all over. You faced your fear and came out on the other side! You exit the plane and you are in Venice!
I want you now to realize that you have taken your first flight in your mind.
I want you to realize that fear is false evidence appearing real.
I want you to realize that once you face your fear, like a bully, it backs down.
I want you to realize that the energy of fear is keeping you stuck.
I want you to realize that whatever your fear, just like we took a ride on an airplane and came out alive on the other side that is how all fear works. It has no real power over you. The only thing that is holding you back from doing the things you want to do is all in your mind. So, the only way the clear it is to start with the mind. Do a dress rehearsal in the mind and then do it in the physical.
How to overcome fear: Face Your fear.
Face your fear. The second step is to clear it from the place it is planted in your mind. Take a moment now to ask your higher self where the fear of flying came from. When was the fear planted? When you get the answer, you may think to yourself, boy that was silly or you may have a legitimate reason to be afraid of flying. Someone you know could have died in a plane crash or you yourself could have been in a plane emergency landing. The thing to remember is that you know that every time you drive on the highway you could die and you are aware of thousands of people who have died in car accidents; yet few people have a fear of driving in a car. So, consciousness is the second step.
The third step is to clear that energy by replacing it with, positive energy. We are going to use the, positive energy, of gratitude. Sit comfortably again. Imagine a bright light entering the crown of your head moving down through your check, down your throat to your chest, down your abdomen through your feet.
Feel this light fill all your energy centers as you become fully relaxed. Now expand this energy out from your chest past the room, past your city, past your country, past the clouds, past the sun, past the planet into the stratosphere. You are now floating in cyberspace. If you can bring your fear to mind in this space, do so now.
Then replace that feeling of fear with the feeling of gratitude. Gratitude that you are alive, gratitude that you are in your sound mind, gratitude that you have a place to sleep and food to eat. Gratitude that you are wealthier than 95% of the people in the world and you have the resources to travel to exotic destinations. Gratitude that you will not let fear rob you of your joy.
Now set the intention to fly to the first place on your bucket list within the year.
If you found this post helpful, I would love to hear your comments on what your fears are, and if you achieved a successful result transferring it with these exercises. Please share this podcast and blog post with friends and family and remember to subscribe and post a review.
Transform your Mind podcast is giving away a Free Checklist you can do every morning to replace your fears with positive affirmations.
To receive please subscribe, rate and review this podcast then send me an email to [email protected] with the subject line iTunes review.
Until next time Namaste
What is Life Coaching? The stage of life coaching is understanding who your are. We can never become who we were meant to be unless we can first clarify who we are. In order to make permanent changes in your life, the first question you must ask is, who am I? This question allows you to understand yourself and why you came into this body.
As a, Life coach, I want to share with you a , life coaching session, Life Coaching Part 1: Who am I, from my 6-week Life coaching workshop.
We can never become who we were meant to be unless we can first recognize who we are by asking the question, who am I.
To know thyself is to grow thyself
So let’s dive right in.
First a little about, who I am.
I am a certified, Life coach, specializing in Mindset and consciousness. In 2012 I wrote my first book “Becoming conscious, my awakening” because I started to understand, who I am. In this episode I will take you through the process of discovering Who you are, be asking the question, who am I.
If you like this content please share with your friends and remember to rate, review and subscribe to the podcast. Thank you
Life coach Myrna Young, who am I
Who am I, What are my deepest and truest values?
In our life coaching sessions, we will uncover your deepest beliefs and what your value. Your deepest values are the ones no one can move you off of. Your deepest values are the ones that if not met, hurt the most. Your truest values are the ones that make you cry.
Your deepest value could be that you would never hit your child. You were abused as a child and you vowed never to hit your child; but you get married and your spouse believes in spanking. He or she believes the bible that says spare the rod and spoil the child. So, your spouse spanks your child. It hurts you so much that you are forced to file for a divorce. Irreconcilable Differences!
Another example to find out, who am I, could be that you were brought up that nice girls do not have sex before marriage. It is a deal breaker in all your relationships. Your dates either leave you or they cheat on you; but you can't bring yourself to have premarital sex. It is one of your deepest and truest values. As a result, you are single and unmarried at 40 years old.
Your deepest values are found by asking the question, who am I. It could be about how you feel about charity. I never pass someone on the street begging. I feel it is a blessing to have a dollar to give. My husband on the other hand, feels that everybody can find a job, and only the worthless people stand at the corner and beg. That is his deepest value and this is mine.
Your deepest value could take the form of image and by asking, who am I. You may be willing to endure a passionless marriage if it gives you status in your community. There are lots of big houses with white picket fences that house very unhappy families.
One of my deepest values was on domestic abuse. My ex-husband slapped me and I divorced him. Simple as that! My value took the form that I would never become a battered woman. I didn't have to ask the question, who am I. I knew that if he hit me once he would hit me again. My daughter was 5 years old at the time. Most women would have a value in giving their children a family with a mom and dad. But mine was more self-centered. Nobody should judge your deepest values. They are yours. You must know them and accept them. They make you who you are. A unique being!
Your truest value could be found by also asking, who am I. How do you love and receive love?
Do you believe that you could only love one person and there is only one true love for you? What happens if you get a divorce or your spouse dies? Does that mean that love is over for you?
How do you receive love?
I heard a story once about a woman who would ask her husband every day if he loved her. He would say of course I love you honey. Yet she did not believe him and would ask him again the next day. She felt love by how much attention she received from her husband. As her insecurities grew she required more and more attention. The marriage ended in divorce.
Your deepest value could be on why you feel you are on this earth, in this body. Do you take the time to consider your purpose and your legacy?
Life coaching session: What are my preferences and priorities?
In our life coaching sessions, we will also uncover your preferences in life. What kind of house would I like to live in.
What country would I like to live in if I had a choice. Do I prefer beach front, mountain view or lots of trees and greenery? Visualize yourself sitting on the porch of this house.
Who am I, how do I like my men? Do I like them tall, dark and handsome? or am I looking for the spiritual connection and don't care what form the package takes?
What kinds of music do I like? What kinds of music transports me to a good place?
What are my preferences during sex? Do I like it with the lights on or off?
What forms of entertainment do I prefer? Do I like the movies, going dancing or staying at home with a good book?
If I didn't have to work, what would I do?
Who are my priorities in Life? Do my children come first, my spouse or God?
Do I make healthy eating and exercise a priority or do I never have time to get to it?
Who am I, What genuinely makes me happy?
I love walking in the park and listening to podcasts and books about successful people in life.
I love listening to the rain and the sounds of the ocean.
Ask yourself , who am I, and put your list of preferences on paper.
Who am I, What are my subconscious patterns and ways of reacting?
How do I react when I feel rejected?
Do I seek revenge?
Do I get even or do I eat a pint of ice-cream?
How do I look at the world?
Do I see abundance or do I see scarcity?
Do you feel jealous when your friends get a promotion or find love?
Are you glad for them or do you secretly hope they fail? No judgment just understanding.
Who am I, If you are happy for your friends, you are attracting abundance into your life. If you are jealous, you are saying that there is not enough to go around and you feel they have taken your share. So, you have a spirit of lack and that will not bring you abundance.
Who am I, What are your triggers?
Ask yourself? When do I pick up the phone and call my old lovers?
Is my trigger when I can’t get my lover on the phone and I think he or she is cheating on me?
I am one of those people who don't bear malice. That means that I get angry for a few days and then I forgive. Unless it is the third time. I have a 3-strike rule!
This is an important workshop. Fears are bottom feeders. Fears keep you at the tail and not the head of the table. If you have fears, you must face them and replace them.
Fear can also keep you bound in a bad or abusive relationship.
Here are some common fears:
Do you fear getting old?
Do you fear being alone?
Do you fear being homeless?
Do you fear getting fat?
Do you fear your spouse would leave you?
Do you fear losing your job?
Do you fear death?
Fear is an energy. Thoughts are the most powerful energy force in the universe.
Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of negative thoughts is fear.
It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
When you live in fear, you feel bad all the time.
If you allow fear to linger in your body and in your mind. It will not only attract the thing you fear the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to negative thoughts and emotions.
Negative thoughts transform your body into an acidic state.
In fear mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell.
Today I want to teach you how to use positive energy to clear the negative energies of fear. But first I want to touch on one of the spiritual laws of the universe. i.e The Law of Sowing and Reaping.
We all know of the physical laws like gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the Law of Sowing and Reaping can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world will manifest in the physical world.
Put another way means that whatever you plant in your mind you will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree.
In the spiritual world,
The soil is your mind.
The seeds are your thoughts.
The water are your actions.
And the sun is your feelings.
If you allow fear to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.
Energy flows where attention goes.
Whatever you focus on expands.
Everything is energy and all energy attracts similar energy.
You can't put out negative energy and expect positive results.
You can't plant apple trees and expect oranges.
Likewise, you can't focus on what you fear and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal law of reaping and sowing it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind.
“You become what you think about”
When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.
So, write down something that is opposite of what you fear and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your fear.
Since light conquers darkness it will eventually have your fear for lunch!
This means whatever you fear you will attract. So, if you fear being alone that is what you will be, alone. If you fear your spouse will leave you, be prepared for that reality. It is very very important to replace your fears with your desires.
As we wrap up this episode, let’s recap
Ask yourself these questions:
Who am I?
What are my deepest values. What do I care about the most?
What are my preferences and priorities?
Who and what is important to me?
What makes me happy. What images make me cry?
How do I react to things or people who hurt me?
What do I fear the most?
As a certified Mindset Coach, I have designed a 6 Part Coaching program that starts off by bringing clarity to Who You Are because that is how you show up in your personal interactions.
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The, mind body, is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha
The Mind Body
Imagine your, mind body, as a garden. Positive thoughts are the beautiful flowers that brighten your life. Negative thoughts are the ugly weeds that spread and suffocate your happiness, by cutting off sunlight. Just like plants we need sunlight to thrive.
Negative thoughts can take the form of fear, self-doubt, guilt, anger, blame, insecurity, prophesying or any thought that makes you feel bad!
We need to kill the ANTS :(Automatic Negative Thoughts)
Automatic negative thoughts kill the, mind body. Fear is a weed that kills our, peace of mind.
Fear – defined as false events appearing real, is the number one reason that we don't achieve success in this life. Fear of the unknown, that feeling of uncertainty. Our, mind body connection, spin tales of past events when we failed or of someone we knew who failed.
One way to Kill the Fear ANT is to imagine what is the worst that could happen. If you hate your job and are afraid to leave for fear that you would be able to find another job that pays as much or more than you are making now; talk back to this fear and say that you are skilled and you would so get another job.
If the worst that could happen is that you run out of money and can't eat or become homeless; then you plan ahead and either find another job before you quit or acquire the necessary skills to get the job you want. Doing nothing because you are afraid should never be an option. There is also a positive side to this ANT.
If you are afraid of losing something be it your spouse, your job, your home; it tells you that these things are important to you and that you should do the necessary due diligence to keep them. For example if you fear losing your spouse, then you should work on keeping the marriage fresh, you should keep yourself attractive and don’t let yourself get to 300 lbs and you should serve your spouse and make them feel special.
The Mind Body of self doubt
Self-doubt – or lack of confidence is a very powerful ANT that infects the, mind body, and our, peace of mind. One of the most essential character traits to have is self-confidence. It is sexy and it allows you to command attention. When this ANT is telling you that you are not good enough, you will not get that promotion because you don't have a degree for example; talk back and tell it that you are the best person for this job and that it is their loss if they don't hire you. If you don’t, you will never move from where you are today. You will never be an over achiever or the top sales person on a team! You need self-confidence to achieve success.
Guilt – guilt affects your, mind body soul, as a weed that needs to be pulled up. it is a result of your conscience telling you that you have violated your own core values. It is telling you that you did something that is moving you away from your predetermined goal. You can talk back to this killer of your, peace of mind, by telling yourself that you recognize your mistake and that you have forgiven yourself. Don't let the guilt and shame arrest you and keep you in bondage.
The mind body of Anger, Blame and Prophesying
Anger – Anger is an emotion that affects the, mind body spirit. It keep telling you that someone had no right to do something. The more you think about it, the angrier you get. Psychologists say that anger is like an iceberg, what you see is just the tip but there is more ice for miles below the surface. If you are conscious you have an Anger Management problem, then you should understand (with the help of a Therapist) what is causing your anger. You can talk back to this ANT and tell it that you cannot control what someone else does; the only person you can control is yourself.
Blame – this killer of your, peace of mind, ANT can be very destructive. When you blame others for the results you are having in your life, you assume the role of the victim. As the victim, you have no power to facilitate change. You talk back to this ANT by becoming a player. As a player you take back control. Regardless of what the dealer is showing, you can still win! You are not the product of your circumstances. Everybody has a story, it is how you handle adversity and challenges that define and grow you.
Prophesying – the prophesying ANT talks to you about what it knows about the future! It tells you things like “you are never going to close that sale”. “The customer is going to string you along and they will never buy” or “it is never going to work out”. You can talk back to this ANT by declaring that you cannot predict the future. You do not have a crystal ball!
My Automatic Negative Thoughts generally take the form of conversations. These ANTS usually starts crawling when I get a trigger. You know what happens when you step on an Ants nest? The Ants all run out at the same and start attacking, they bite! Tony Robbins teaches about anchors and how to replace the negative ones with positive ones.
If you have this problem you should check out his book “The Power Within”. The way I handle these ANTs is by shaking my head when I become conscious that they are crawling around. I physically shake my head like I am trying to shake them off me, then I bring my attention to my breathing for a few minutes. If they come back again and they usually do, I download them in my journal and that usually takes care of the problem for me.
I tend the Mind Garden by becoming Conscious of the thoughts that make me feel bad!
Positive thoughts, on the other hand are like flowers, they beautify your gardens and bring smiles to anyone who stops and pays attention to their beauty; in a similar way positive thoughts make you beautiful to anyone who you have interpersonal relations with. But the beauty of positive thoughts is that they make you feel good. It is not only sex that makes you feel good!
Tending to the, mind garden, is an ongoing process.
I’ve seen firsthand how dangerous it is to let the weeds of negative thinking take over your mind and just like in your natural garden the weeds thrive more than the flowers or plants. In a similar way when you allow the ANTS to run free in your head; they snuff all the joy out of your life. All you see is darkness, because they are blocking the sunlight from getting in! Let's look at a garden metaphor to bring an awareness of what happens when weeds take over a garden. Left alone the weeds flourish, creating a dark, tangled mess.
Don't let weeds thrive in your mind garden
A beautiful mind, is one free of weeds. This morning I stepped outside and noticed one of the largest weeds I have ever seen. I didn't notice it before because it looked like a tree. It had a trunk, and was taller than the other flowers. I thought to myself; how on earth could a weed grow so strong and big? The answer is simple: their purpose is to take the nutrients from the plants, so they get big when your plants become weak and die.
So it is too with your mind: An unattended, mind, can create havoc for you because your, mind, is amazingly receptive to whatever suggestions may be dropped into it. It has been said that the subconscious mind cannot take a joke. This simply means that whatever belief is introduced to it, it takes seriously as an instruction to grow that thought-seed into a full-blown plant–be it a rose or a weed, and it can’t tell the difference.
When you stop and consider how many thought seeds are purposefully planted in your mind on a daily basis, it may cause you to tend to your mental garden with a bit more regularity. This is in addition to all the seeds that were planted in your mind unconsciously. You have to have, mind control.
A beautiful mind is one without mind weeds
As you listen to the radio, watch TV or even sit in a restaurant where others are talking, your mind hears it ALL, irrespective of whether you are conscious of it or not. Given what’s going on in our world today with all of the talk that comes from fear and anger, this is a vital point to grasp. Even when you engage in gossip or negative conversation with or about others, your subconscious mind hears it all. Be careful of the seeds you let in.
A mind expanded with an implanted thought cannot be returned back to its original form. Leonardo DiCaprio starred in this complicated movie called “inception”, the implantation of another person's idea into a target's subconscious.[Hollywood understands this concept. The only way to avoid this type of mind pollution is to be consciously focused on positive activities and limit news and gossip. Gossip is a weed that destroys the, mind body.
There are some companies that have a zero tolerance for gossip. They treat it like a cancer and remove the gossiper immediately.
Conclusion
The action you and I need to take is clear isn’t it? It has been proven that the human mind thinks thousands of thoughts a day. Instead of planting a mixed bag of thousands of various seeds, from fearful to simply confused and unfocused thought-seeds, which will require a full time gardener to pull up the weeds, why not specialize in planting one or two types of seed? Plant thought-seeds about yourself and others that are rooted in reverence and loving-kindness and get rid of the, mind weeds.
Plant seeds that focus on God’s Presence at the center and circumference of all you say think and do, at work, home, or play.
Be mindful…be skillful in the seeds you plant and how you nurture them. Your life is your garden; keep the weeds out because that is one way in which you can personally beautify our world. You owe that much to yourself and to those who receive the benefit of the seeds you plant along the way.
Take control of your thoughts and attitudes with a, positive mindset. Get rid of ANTS, Automatic Negative Thoughts.
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha
Imagine your mind as a garden. Positive thoughts and a, positive mindset, are the beautiful flowers that brighten your life. Negative thoughts, are the ugly weeds that spread and suffocate your happiness, by cutting off sunlight. Just like plants we need sunlight to thrive.
Negative thoughts, can take the form of:
fear,
self-doubt,
guilt,
anger,
blame,
insecurity,
prophesying or any thought that makes you feel bad!
You need to kill the ANTS, Automatic Negative Thoughts
https://youtu.be/SKebEHGENJw
Automatic Negative thoughts of Fear –
Fear, is defined as False Events Appearing Real, is the number one reason that we don’t achieve success in this life. Fear, of the unknown, that feeling of uncertainty. Fear, is the bottom feeder of all the, negative emotions. When you are living in, fear, you feel very bad and you attract more bad things into your experience.
One way to Kill these, automatic negative thoughts, is to develop a, positive mindset. Imagine what is the worst that could happen and develop, positive thinking, about the outcome. Face the, fear, in your mind and say death where is your sting! Take it to your subconscious and dream about it. Once you face, fear, it loses its hold on you. Talk back to this, fear. Move up the emotional scale with anyone of the, negative emotions. Eg. You can become angry that your spouse is treating you a certain way, instead of being afraid of being alone if you left the relationship. See yourself alone and loving it.
There is also a positive side to this ANT.
If you are afraid of losing something be it your spouse, your job, your home; it tells you that these things are important to you and that you should do everything in your power to keep them. For example: if you fear losing your spouse, then you should work on keeping the marriage fresh, you should keep yourself attractive and don’t let yourself get to 300 lbs, serve your spouse and make him/her feel special.
Lack of self-confidence is a very powerful, ANT. One of the most essential character traits to have is self-confidence. It is sexy and it allows you to command attention. When these, automatic negative thoughts, are telling you that you are not good enough; you will not get that promotion because you don’t have a degree, for example. Talk back to it and tell it that you are the best person for the job and that it is their loss if they don’t hire you. If you don’t, you will never move from where you are today. You will never be an over achiever or the top sales person on a team! You need self-confidence to achieve success.
Have a Positive mindset and get rid of Guilt –
Guilt, is a result of your conscience telling you that you have violated your own core value. It is telling you that you did something that is moving you away from your predetermined goal. You can talk back to these, automatic negative thoughts, by telling it that you have recognized your mistake and that you have forgiven yourself. Don’t let the, guilt, and shame arrest you and keep you in bondage. A lot of people wash away this guilt with drugs and alcohol.
Automatic Negative Thoughts of Anger –
Anger, ANTS, keep telling you that someone had no right to do something. The more you think about it, the angrier you get. Psychologists say that anger is like an iceberg. What you see is just the tip, that there is more ice for miles below the surface. If you are conscious that you have an, Anger problem, then you should understand (with the help of a Therapist) what is causing your anger. You can talk back to this, ANT, and tell it that you cannot control what someone else does; the only person you can control is yourself.
Automatic Negative Thoughts of Blame –
The blame, ANT, can be very destructive. When you blame others for the results you are having in your life, you assume the role of the victim. As the victim, you have no power to facilitate change. You talk back to this, ANT, by becoming a Player. As a Player you take back control. Regardless of what the dealer is showing, you can still win! You are not the product of your circumstances. Everyone has a story. It is how you handle adversity and challenges that define and grow you. In my book “Out of the Snares” I never blamed my childhood abuser. I instead chose to look at the positives I learned from that experience. Life is full of good and evil. Every evil person has a good side and every good person has an evil side.
The prophesying, automatic negative thoughts, talks to you about what it knows about the future! It tells you things like “you are never going to close that sale”. “The customer is going to string you along and they will never buy” or “it is never going to work out”. You can talk back to this, ANT, by declaring that IT cannot predict the future. It does not have a crystal ball!
Once you learn to recognize these, automatic negative thoughts, and learn to deal with them by sending them packing, then you can replace them with, Positive Thoughts. Positive thoughts, are like flowers, they beautify your garden and bring smiles to anyone who stops and pays attention to their beauty. In a similar way, positive mindset, make you beautiful to anyone who you have interpersonal relations with. But the beauty of a, positive mindset, is that they make you feel good. Like attracts like and before you know it, you have an abundance of good things becoming part of your experience.
I’ve seen firsthand how dangerous it is to let the weeds of, negative thinking, take over your mind. Just like in a natural garden, it you left the weeds unattended, they thrive more than the flowers or plants. In a similar way when you allow the, ANTS, to run free in your head; they snuff out all the joy from your life. All you then see is darkness, because they are blocking the sunlight from getting in!
In my book “Out of the Snares” I share with you, my readers, the principles of the Bible and the Universal Laws or Truths that I stood on to keep a, positive mindset. Order your copy today.https://myhelps.us/book-order/
