Tag Archives: love

Attraction Dynamics: Why Men Choose Women

Relationship coach Andre Paradis joins host Myrna Young to discuss the topic of, why men choose women, and why women often struggle to choose the right partner. Andre explains that men are becoming more hesitant to enter into relationships due to the attraction  dynamics and expectations placed on them. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the natural dance between masculine and feminine energies and how women can tap into their femininity to attract the right partner. Andre offers valuable insights and advice for both single individuals and those in committed relationships.

Download the podcast here:

https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://prfx.byspotify.com/e/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/14470606-why-men-choose-women-and-why-women-shouldn-t-chase-men.mp3?download=true

Introduction

In this thought-provoking episode, Host Myrna Young and, dating coach, Andre Paradis, delve into the fascinating world of relationships. Drawing from Andre’s experiences as a relationship coach, we explore the reasons, why men choose women, as many women find themselves alone on, Valentine’s Day. Andre sheds light on the dynamics of modern relationships and offers valuable insights into, why men choose women, and why women should avoid approaching men. By understanding the natural dance between masculinity and femininity, we can create and maintain successful relationships.

Andre gives a potent example to illustrate the masculine and feminine. He says the sperm is the mover and the egg just sits and waits. So ladies, please wait for the man to approach you. Men need to hunt and when you approach them you just get introduced to the little guy.

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Key Takeaways

  • Men are increasingly choosing to be alone due to the challenges of finding value in relationships with women in a culture that promotes independence and boss babe mentalities.
  • The process of a man choosing a woman is not based on intellectual decisions or a checklist, but rather on feelings and chemistry.
  • Intimacy starts with vulnerability and being present in the moment, allowing the natural dynamic between masculine and feminine energies to unfold.

The Number One Reason Men and Women Are Alone on Valentine’s Day

In today’s society, men are finding it increasingly difficult to find value in relationships with women. The rise of the boss babe mentality and the push for independence have created a culture where men are expected to follow a woman’s lead and be 50/50 partners. However, this goes against the natural instincts of men, who are wired to provide, protect, and cherish women. The cultural shift towards masculine qualities in women has made it challenging for men to connect and form meaningful relationships.

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Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast, mid-day bites, Snacks, smoothies, and more:

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Factor meals
Factor meals

Why Men Choose Women and Women Shouldn’t Approach Men

The process of a man choosing a woman is not based on intellectual decisions or a checklist. It is driven by feelings and chemistry. Men respond to a woman’s energy and presence, and they are instantly drawn to feminine qualities such as warmth, receptiveness, and vulnerability. When a woman takes the lead and approaches a man, it disrupts the natural dynamic and can be a turnoff for men. It is important for women to allow men to take the lead and be receptive to their advances.

Some, dating advice: On the First date expect it to be akward. Don’t make a decision on the man before the 3rd date. Andre says the woman brings the energy so ladies remember to smile and be laid back.  Do not conduct the date like a job interview. It is a turnoff. Even is you are fine and have all the qualities a man is looking for he will say she of okay BUT. You don’t want to be a BUT.

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The Importance of Intimacy in Relationships

Intimacy is a crucial aspect of any successful relationship. It is the deep connection and emotional closeness that allows two individuals to truly understand and support each other. Intimacy starts with vulnerability, which is often initiated by the, feminine energy, in the relationship. When a woman opens up and shares her fears, insecurities, and desires, it creates a safe space for the man to do the same. This vulnerability fosters trust and deepens the emotional bond between partners.

For example, if you are nervous on the first date and worried you will say the wrong thing sharing this with your date shows vulnerability and starts intimacy. He may even share that he is nervous as well.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

The importance of maintaining femininity in attracting masculine men

Women are showing up saying he’s got to meet me up here.  Ladies it’s not working, this is not what attracts a man,  this does not make you attractive; you know sexy, magnetic warm.  It has the exact opposite effect. Those masculine qualities that you so encouraged to have by society, results in men actually skipping men away.  Masculine men are not interested in masculine women.  It’s very simple hunters don’t date hunters.

What I mean as a rule so keep that in mind. It’s nature in action.  The more masculine the woman, the more Boss Babe and you go- girl, the more the man goes his way.  Boss Babe  it’s beautiful for work and making money,  but the masculine men won’t stand for it.  They will literally just avoid you like the plague.

There is a lot of conversation around why women are so masculine in this era, and I don’t want to you don’t want to get sidetracked on this, but I’m just going to make this comment.  Women are stating their demands, you’re right and the men, they’re running from that because they don’t want a woman that’s telling them what to do.  So what makes a, man choose a woman, because that’s basically where we’re going with this conversation.

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Why Men Choose Women

Why men choose women? Men respond to women’s energy and presence. A feminine woman is a woman who’s receptive, who is magnetic, who’s warm, who’s inviting, who’s happy, joyful in her body in that moment.  That feminine energy brings us straight out of our heads and brings us completely present to you.  Men can’t think in the presence of the magnetic warm energy of a woman.

We caught up in the eyes and the smile and the way she’s speaking, all the little mannerism and the man be like I can’t think in the presence of feminine woman.  This is why the man need femininity, because it takes us out of our heads, brings us present in our bodies.  This is how and, why a man chooses a woman. He knows right away because his body responds to her energy.

Conclusion

Understanding the dynamics of relationships and the dance between masculine and feminine energies is essential for creating and maintaining successful partnerships. By embracing femininity and allowing men to take the lead, women can attract and build meaningful connections with high-value men. Intimacy, rooted in vulnerability and emotional closeness, is the foundation of a strong and fulfilling relationship. So, this Valentine’s Day, let’s embrace our natural energies and create the love and connection we desire.

Remember, relationships are not a one-size-fits-all formula. Each individual and partnership is unique, and it is important to find what works best for you. By seeking guidance from relationship experts like Andre Paradis, you can gain valuable insights and tools to navigate the complexities of modern relationships.

Sponsored Ad

KiaraAngelica studios presents First Lady’s the Genesis. Come and witness the genesis of an era. Three pastor’s wives are consumed with the problems they’re each facing within their individual marriages and churches. It isn’t until one of them reaches her breaking point that these first ladies who are strangers to each other unite to lift their sister in Christ up.

Meet us at the Sewell Cultural Center located in Marietta Ga, on March 1st for an evening show or March 2nd for either a matinee or evening show. God will be glorified in this production & strong themes will be covered, please visit

https://FirstLadiesTheGenesis.eventbrite.com to purchase tickets, view show times & view a list of frequently asked questions. Use code Radio for a discount at check out.

You can also visit https:// kastudios.co to follow us on social media for all updates regarding this production.

We’ll save you a seat at the show!

First Ladies of Genesis
First Ladies of Genesis
Additional Resources

What Men Want In A Woman

What Men Want In A Woman

Why He Chooses You And You Don’t Choose Him

Relationship coach Andre Paradis joins host Myrna Young to discuss the topic of, why he chooses, and why women often struggle to choose the right partner. Andre explains that men are becoming more hesitant to enter into relationships due to the changing dynamics and expectations placed on them. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the natural dance between masculine and feminine energies and how women can tap into their femininity to attract the right partner. Andre offers valuable insights and advice for both single individuals and those in committed relationships.

Download the podcast here:

https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://prfx.byspotify.com/e/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/14470606-why-men-choose-women-and-why-women-shouldn-t-chase-men.mp3?download=true

Introduction

In this thought-provoking episode, Host Myrna Young and, dating coach, Andre Paradis, delve into the fascinating world of relationships. Drawing from Andre’s experiences as a relationship coach, we explore the reasons, why he chooses you, as many women find themselves alone on, Valentine’s Day. Andre sheds light on the dynamics of modern relationships and offers valuable insights into, why he chooses you,  and why women should avoid approaching men. By understanding the natural dance between masculinity and femininity, we can create and maintain successful relationships.

Andre gives a potent example to illustrate the masculine and feminine. He says the sperm is the mover and the egg just sits and waits. So ladies, please wait for the man to approach you. Men need to hunt and when you approach them you just get introduced to the little guy.

Sponsored Ad

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Squeezed.com is one of the largest distributors of fresh, cold-pressed juice cleanses, helping and inspiring consumers to healthier, happier, and more balanced lifestyles.

Head over to Squeezed.com and get Same day local delivery or Free Fast delivery nationwide with code TRANSFORM. And start your wellness journey today

squeezed.com
squeezed.com

Key Takeaways

  • Men are increasingly choosing to be alone due to the challenges of finding value in relationships with women in a culture that promotes independence and boss babe mentalities.
  • The process of a man choosing a woman is not based on intellectual decisions or a checklist, but rather on feelings and chemistry.
  • Intimacy starts with vulnerability and being present in the moment, allowing the natural dynamic between masculine and feminine energies to unfold.

The Number One Reason Men and Women Are Alone on Valentine’s Day

In today’s society, men are finding it increasingly difficult to find value in relationships with women. The rise of the boss babe mentality and the push for independence have created a culture where men are expected to follow a woman’s lead and be 50/50 partners. However, this goes against the natural instincts of men, who are wired to provide, protect, and cherish women. The cultural shift towards masculine qualities in women has made it challenging for men to connect and form meaningful relationships.

Sponsored Ad

Factor’s meals are ready in 2-minutes: All you have to do is heat and serve.

Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast, mid-day bites, Snacks, smoothies, and more:

Head to FACTORMEALS.com/transform50 and use code transform50 to get 50% off your first box and 2 free wellness shots per box while your subscription is active.

Factor meals
Factor meals

Why He Chooses You

Why he chooses you. The process of a man choosing a woman is not based on intellectual decisions or a checklist. It is driven by feelings and chemistry. Men respond to a woman’s energy and presence, and they are instantly drawn to feminine qualities such as warmth, receptiveness, and vulnerability. When a woman takes the lead and approaches a man, it disrupts the natural dynamic and can be a turnoff for men. It is important for women to allow men to take the lead and be receptive to their advances.

Dating advice: On the First date expect it to be akward. Don’t make a decision on the man before the 3rd date. Andre says the woman brings the energy so ladies remember to smile and be laid back.  Do not conduct the date like a job interview. It is a turnoff. Even is you are fine and have all the qualities a man is looking for he will say she of okay BUT. You don’t want to be a BUT.

Sponsored Ad

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Nom Nom uses the latest science and insights to make real, good food for dogs. Their nutrient-packed recipes are designed by board-certified veterinary nutritionists, freshly-made, and shipped FREE to your door.

Go Right Now for 50% off your no-risk two week trial at TryNom.com/TRANSFORM

Nom Nom
Nom Nom

The Importance of Intimacy in Relationships

Intimacy is a crucial aspect of any successful relationship. It is the deep connection and emotional closeness that allows two individuals to truly understand and support each other. Intimacy starts with vulnerability, which is often initiated by the, feminine energy, in the relationship. When a woman opens up and shares her fears, insecurities, and desires, it creates a safe space for the man to do the same. This vulnerability fosters trust and deepens the emotional bond between partners.

For example, if you are nervous on the first date and worried you will say the wrong thing sharing this with your date shows vulnerability and starts intimacy. He may even share that he is nervous as well.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Why he chooses you: The feminine woman

Women are showing up saying he’s got to meet me up here.  Ladies it’s not working, this is not what attracts a man,  this does not make you attractive; you know sexy, magnetic warm.  It has the exact opposite effect.  Why he chooses you, is because he appreciates a feminine woman. Those masculine qualities that you so encouraged to have by society, results in men actually skipping men away.  Masculine men, are not interested in, masculine women.  It’s very simple hunters don’t date hunters.

What I mean as a rule so keep that in mind. It’s nature in action.  The more masculine the woman, the more, Boss Babe, and you go- girl, the more the man goes his way.  Boss Babe  it’s beautiful for work and making money,  but the masculine men won’t stand for it.  They will literally just avoid you like the plague.

There is a lot of conversation around why women are so masculine in this era, and I don’t want to you don’t want to get sidetracked on this, but I’m just going to make this comment.  Women are stating their demands, you’re right and the men, they’re running from that because they don’t want a woman that’s telling them what to do.  So what makes a, man choose a woman, because that’s basically where we’re going with this conversation.

Sponsored Ad

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Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business.

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at SHOPIFY.COM/transform

Shopify transform Your Mind

Why Men Choose Women

Why  he chooses you? Men respond to women’s energy and presence. A, feminine woman, is a woman who’s receptive, who is magnetic, who’s warm, who’s inviting, who’s happy, joyful in her body in that moment.  That feminine energy brings us straight out of our heads and brings us completely present to you.  Men can’t think in the presence of the magnetic warm energy of a woman.

We caught up in the eyes and the smile and the way she’s speaking, all the little mannerism and the man be like I can’t think in the presence of feminine woman.  This is why the man need femininity, because it takes us out of our heads, brings us present in our bodies.  This is how and, why a man chooses a woman. He knows right away because his body responds to her energy.

Conclusion

Understanding the dynamics of relationships and the dance between masculine and feminine energies is essential for creating and maintaining successful partnerships. By embracing femininity and allowing men to take the lead, women can attract and build meaningful connections with high-value men. Intimacy, rooted in vulnerability and emotional closeness, is the foundation of a strong and fulfilling relationship. So, this Valentine’s Day, let’s embrace our natural energies and create the love and connection we desire.

Remember, relationships are not a one-size-fits-all formula. Each individual and partnership is unique, and it is important to find what works best for you. By seeking guidance from relationship experts like Andre Paradis, you can gain valuable insights and tools to navigate the complexities of modern relationships.

Sponsored Ad

KiaraAngelica studios presents First Lady’s the Genesis. Come and witness the genesis of an era. Three pastor’s wives are consumed with the problems they’re each facing within their individual marriages and churches. It isn’t until one of them reaches her breaking point that these first ladies who are strangers to each other unite to lift their sister in Christ up.

Meet us at the Sewell Cultural Center located in Marietta Ga, on March 1st for an evening show or March 2nd for either a matinee or evening show. God will be glorified in this production & strong themes will be covered, please visit

https://FirstLadiesTheGenesis.eventbrite.com to purchase tickets, view show times & view a list of frequently asked questions. Use code Radio for a discount at check out.

You can also visit https:// kastudios.co to follow us on social media for all updates regarding this production.

We’ll save you a seat at the show!

First Ladies of Genesis
First Ladies of Genesis
Additional Resources

What Men Want In A Woman

Do Interracial Marriages Last?

What percentage of interracial marriages end in divorce? Interracial marriages, are scrutinized by the family, friends, people stare at the couples, then they have the color or culture issues to contend with. In this podcast episode, I speak with a friend of mine Ericka on her, interrracial marriage, experience.

Ericka shares that it was not until after they got married Kevin (her husband)  confided and shared with her a few situations where family members questioned his choices and wanted to ensure he understood the challenges that come with an, interracial marriage.

I want to invite you guys all to the table. We are going to be talking on the topic the, “The Color of love, interracial marriages, in America”   my guest today is Erica Augustus.

Listen to the interview

Interracial Marriages in America

Ericka and I became friends when we worked at Office Depot for about 10 years, and we have maintained our friendship.  I decided that I wanted to get into the conversation on, interracial marriages, in America because of what’s been happening in the world and specifically in the last month or so.

It’s a very difficult place for a, black woman, married to a, white man. I think it’s even a little bit more complicated when your partner or your spouse cannot understand a lot of the times your, black experience.   I was listening to a podcast a few weeks ago and this, black woman, was talking about her experience.

She was married for 13 years to a, white man, the marriage dissolved not because of racial differences or any kind of racial problems, but she said it contributed to it, because her husband never really got into the conversation.  If she would come home and say she was discriminated against at the office, he didn’t have a response or didn’t talk about it and then the host asked her the question.

 

Can a, white man, love a, black woman, and still be a racist?

And her response was, “love has nothing to do with it”, now that piqued my interest and that’s the predominant reason that I wanted to get into this conversation, and have you guys all join in the conversation and discuss, the color of love.

Interracial Marriages Interview Highlights

    1. How did you and your husband meet?
    2. How Ericka and Kevin handled the stares from Black and White people in their, interracial marriage, when they walked down the street.
    3. What are her thoughts on Systemic racism, did her husband understand her experience as a, Black woman.
    4. Love has no color. How easy is it to love someone from a different race?
    5. How does she and her husband talk to her black sons regarding the police.

My name is Ericka Augutis, my husband  Kevin and I have been married for 18 years 19 in November.  We do have two children. One is 14 and the other is 4.

We met about 22 years ago. He worked at a local Blockbuster in my neighborhood. He was a manager and anytime I would go into the store to look at videos, he would offer to help me.  Well that’s when our relationship started.  Finally we went on our first date and I have to say it was really awkward for both of us and I thought okay I’m never doing that again. He was super quiet there was very little conversation.  A few months went by and he called again, and asked for a second date and I was going to say no, but my mom chimed in and asked me to give him another chance.  I’m so glad I did that second date because we just had the best time.

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Transform Your Mind Pandora 

Love is Blind

We dated to my dismay for nearly five years,  we were engaged twice. The first proposal I  accepted I was elated.  I was excited to say yes; but a few months later we went to a party with some of our friends and I realized some of the ladies didn’t even know I was engaged. Here I was super excited and some of his circle of friends didn’t know that were engaged. So, it really hit me hard.  I felt like okay I’m really pressuring him into this, interracial  marriage. So I called off the engagement.

After that we kind of went our separate ways for a few months and then we slowly started dating again. And I have to say both of us matured during that time of separation and he proposed a second time in restaurant. He got down on one knee in front of all these people and proposed me a second time. This time he was ready! We got married like a year later.

Myrna Young:  Did you think that he maybe didn’t want to tell his friends he was engaged because you were a, black woman?

Ericka Augutis:  No, I don’t think the fact that we were contemplating an, interracial marriage, had anything to do with it, or the, color of love, because I was in his circle of friends for four years. We all vacationed together so it wasn’t that. I just felt like he wasn’t ready and I was forcing him to get married.

Myrna Young:  I’m going to ask you not a question as a follow-up to that.  So all the time you guys dated, five years or so, you got engaged twice you didn’t see color?  The question today is there a, color of love?  Did any of your friends treated you differently? Or said  Ericka he’s white?  None of his friends says hey Kevin why do you want to marry a, black woman? Nothing?

Ericka Augutis:  Not until after we got married Kevin confided and shared with me a few situations where family, maybe one or two family members, questioned his choices and wanted to ensure he understood the challenges to come with an, interracial marriage.

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Interracial Marriages: Love is color blind

So yes, from my perspective it came later as well, being a successful, black woman,  my parents and other family members wanted to know why I was  dating someone that doesn’t look like me. I really had to kind of ask myself that question as well.  I realized it’s not as if I said to myself,  I’m going to find a Caucasian man and have this, interracial marriage. I fell in love with a white man.

Myrna Young:  Yea, Love is color blind,  actually, Love is an Emotion, it’s a feeling and it doesn’t see color!

Ericka Augutis:  There were experiences and times where we had to deal with the looks and the stairs especially when we would go into places where everyone was a little older.  I would say during that time anyone that was over age of 65 would give us those looks on both sides. It’s not just the Caucasian folks, black folks as well.

Myrna Young Did you let the stares and looks bother you?

Ericka Augutis No, Kevin was always so confident and strong and it made me just feel like I had nothing to worry about. But there was this time just after we had our son Kevin Jr,  we were having dinner in this fancy restaurant and this gentleman,  I probably shouldn’t call him a gentleman. A white man,  came over to our table and he said to Kevin, Is this your son? My husband says yes, he says well I’m going to tell you I’m a doctor that’s not your son!

You got to be kidding me!

I am not kidding.  it was such a strange experience. I mean he just came over and I think his goal was just to disturb our night and really rock and test the foundations of our, interracial marriage. That was one experience that I’ll never forget.

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The black experience Discrimination

Myrna Young:  Okay but in your marriage of itself was there any kind of friction at all regarding race?  Was all the friction from outside people looking in and trying to disturb your harmony?  For instance as a, black woman, is it hard to go and talk to a partner that is outside your race about racism that’s been happening to you?  Because, it’s not their experience and they can’t understand it how a, black women, survive in the workplace for instance?

As a, black woman, I have not been discriminated against a lot and especially growing up in Canada; but I know that if I was talking to a, black man, who had a white spouse, it would have been a totally different conversation. Because as a, black man, he would have been harassed by the police, he would have been discriminated at work, he would have experienced racism throughout his life. Racism that  his white spouse would not be able to understand or identify.

So, did any of those situations happen in your marriage where your husband couldn’t understand your, black experience?

Ericka Augutis I would say initially when we’re in the newlywed stage, there were a few situations, super minor things, nothing hardcore or anything like that; but I could tell there was an inequality in the situation.  When I  talked about it, he would always ask me why  I was so passionate? That was his word or way of saying, why are you so angry? It took me about three or four times of him saying that or using that phrase for me to get that he’s trying to ask me to express myself and make him understand.  Why was something so small making you angry?  So, once I understood what he was truly trying to say and ask me, we had a tough conversation on racism.

I explained to him  the history black people and the challenges I’ve experienced throughout my career being a, black woman.  I think in his career not everyone knows he’s married to a, black woman; so he would hear things people would say that were borderline racist and he would tell me he got it.

Racism in interracial marrages

Myrna Young:  Not only did your husband not understand your black experience but as a, black woman, I didn’t understand my husband’s black experience either. My husband was a police officer and what upset him more than anything else was that he was going out there every night putting his life on the line and yet the white officers were racial against him.  Not just my husband; but they were racist against all the black officers in the department. There was no equality even when they could die together.  My husband would say we bleed the same blood, when we’re out there on the street and I am treated differently. I didn’t understand until recently when I understood the definition of a racist and the definition of racist policies.  I had to go back to him and apologize for not understanding.

That’s basically what I would I wanted to you know.  To find out from you how is the cohesiveness in an, interracial marriage, when one person has white privilege and the other person has to claw their way for everything?

So, the other question I have on here is and I think you mentioned it, people staring at you and I think you said that you felt protected because Kevin was so strong and you weren’t scared; but did it bother you psychologically?

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Ericka Augutis We’ve been married for so long,  I would say it bothered me until we had our son.  A small portion of me would wonder is it worth it?   Is it worth it, why can’t we just go out to dinner and just have a nice dinner without any stares, comments or judgment?  So I would say, yes it does bother you, it does affect you.  You just have to find a way to deal with it and ensure that your relationship is solid enough where it’s worth it.

How does Interracial Marriages affect children?

Myrna Young How does your 14-year-old son, he’s old enough to understand what’ going on right now in the world, how does he relate to having a white dad?

Ericka Augutis Oh, that’s a good question so, he’s actually okay with it. He was in Boy Scouts from the age of I think five or six until 12 years old and I remember we were on a camping trip he may have been 7 or 8 at the time and he came into our tent and I could tell something was wrong.  His face was a little flushed, so I said to him what’s wrong he said this kid asked him why is your dad white and your mom black?

I said, what did you say?  He says I said because they love each other! So I think he’s okay with what’s going on right now.  I did not know how to quite handle it when a child asked him like where is he from? If he was Spanish?  I think that’s he’s at that stage where he’s getting that question and has to figure out how he’s going to handle it and answer it.

 

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Is there a Color of Love? The Answer is NO.

Myrna Young It sounds like your, interracial marriage, is healthy. You guys don’t see color.  Your, color of love, is blended.  You love your kids, you show them love you don’t show them a difference and that’s definitely the way to go about it.  So your, interracial marriage,  experience has been a good one.  As a, black woman, marrying outside of your race  you still go through get the same racism and racist policies that our, black men, go through on a lesser scale.

That’s basically what I wanted to have a conversation so that we can shed a light on, interracial marriages. I mean we’re looking at black and white but, interracial marriage, can also be Spanish and black or even religion Muslim and Christian or anything that makes you different.  It causes some controversy or cause some friction.

Ericka Augutis I don’t want the podcast listeners thinking I am making, interracial marriages, sound like it’s just perfect.  Absolutely not, there are challenges don’t get me wrong.  When we get invited to parties and there’s only a sprinkle of brown and black people in room, you have to figure out how to navigate.  Do you want to be like over-the-top polished or just be yourself. When our families get together we both have to play roles.  Every day you encounter racism. If you’re dealing with the public or you go in a public space you’re dealing with those types of situations where people are looking people are asking questions so it’s a conversation that you have more often than not. When you’re in a relationship like this, it’s something that you have to deal with if you want it to work out.

 

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Myrna Young I thank you for coming on and having a seat at this table I appreciate it. I hope our readers and listeners learned a few things one, interracial marriages, can work. They can be successful, you just have to have love and talk about it.

I want to remind you that if you like this content, please share with your friends, subscribe on iTunes rate and leave a review.

Additional Resources and mentions

Paradigm Shifts that can Heal Racism in America

https://blog.myhelps.us/find-your-soulmate-science-of-attraction/

https://voxeu.org/article/incarceration-unemployment-and-black-white-marriage-gap-us

The Power of Love in Christianity, Hinduism and Buddhism

The, power of Love, in Christianity is taught by Jesus, teacher and the Son Of God. He teaches us to love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves. The message is first you must love yourself. Loving yourself is more than providing the necessities of life for oneself. It is more than finding good employment, providing for one’ s family, a nice house and some money in the bank. It is deeper than that.
Love is spirit. It can be felt by strangers. It is a force of good and a power that connects us all. When you love yourself you take time to know and acquaint yourself with this force.  We are dually physical and non-physical beings. Unfortunately most of us only concentrate on the physical because that is what we see.
The power of love, can be seen in how we love ourselves because we take care of our bodies. We exercise (some of us). We eat nutritious foods that nourish our bodies (some of us) and we protect ourselves from the sun and get the recommended amount of sleep (again some of us).  But how often can a stranger feels your love because you gave them a welcoming smile?
How often do you find a quiet spot and pay attention to your breathing, your source and the center of your spirit? How often do you feel the love from a flower or from the stillness of a tree? God shows his love for us by the beauty he created in nature. When we show our appreciation for nature we find God and his love for us.
Have you ever felt love from an inanimate object like a painting or a building? I visited the Taj Mahal earlier this month. It is one of the seven wonders of the world because of it’s beauty. It is a testament to the, power of love.  When you visit the Taj Mahal you feel the love for which it was intended.
The building was constructed to immortalize Emperor Shah Jahan’s love for his wife.  So Love your neighbor as you love yourself, extend that love past the boundaries of your family and friends and the world will indeed be a better place to live.

The power of love in Hinduism

In, Hinduism, we see the, power of love, in the eternal love of Radha and Krishna has been the subject of great religious and philosophical imagery and is one of the foundational ethos of Hindu dharma.
The love of Radha and Krishna is not rooted in physicality. On the contrary it is allegorical. The Lord says “the mind that constantly remembers me, comes to dissolve and revel in me”. Radha is the personification of this deeply devoted mind. The pain of Radha’s separation from Krishna is the pain of the estranged soul searching for the embrace of the universal spirit. Radha is the individual and Krishna is the essence and objective of life.
Radha is always the chosen one, but when Radha realizes the pride of having the Supreme Lord all to herself was coloring her mind, he disappears from her heart. Krishna then multiplies himself to be present between every two Gopis. The Gopis are believed to represent thought waves.
The presence of Krishna between every two  Gopis, symbolizes that the eternal truth exists everywhere, and it can be perceived by the true seeker even between two thought waves. Radha represents the purest and most beautiful amongst these divine thoughts and Krishna represents the supreme bliss that can be attained by dedicating one’s mind to the divine.
Excerpt from Shyam Banerji “Hindu Gods and Temples

The Power of love as seen in Buddhism

Buddhism is both simple and profound in the, power of love. On a daily basis it advocates watching the mind so that all thoughts, actions and words manifest a kind and compassionate attitude towards all others. It is the loving heart that places others above self. Herein lies the ultimate wisdom of existence. When you understand that the existence of all things, all beings, and all concepts is empty except in relation to other things, beings, and concepts, then you will be close to becoming awakened, crossing into a state of permanent happiness.
When you succeed in eliminating ignorance and replacing it with real wisdom, suffering comes to an end; because in understanding the true nature of existence you are no longer bound by the illusions of Samsara. It is Karma – the law of cause and effect- that gives life it’s moral code.
The Buddha thus advised doing everything to create good karma, for this has the power to propel you into a rebirth in circumstances that are conducive to practicing Dharma. Thereby having the chance to attain enlightenment. Practicing Dharma means showing generosity, having a good heart, purifying negative karma, and creating good karma. It also means embarking on a spiritual path that leads to enlightenment. (Excerp from The Buddha Book by Lillian Too.)

 

Self Love: Why Loving Yourself is NOT Crucial for Loving Others

Most of us believe that self love is crucial for loving others. But is this really true? In this podcast, coach Myrna challenges that belief and ask instead, what is the relationship between self love and love for others? I believe the answer is much more complicated than we think.

If you’re questioning whether or not self love is important for love for others, then this video is for you! I’ll explore the concept of self love from different perspectives and discuss why it may not be as vital as we think it is. I believe that self love is important for our own happiness, but it’s not the be-all and end-all of our relationship to others. Download and listen see what you think!

Download the podcast here: 

https://2.gum.fm/https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/12996277-self-love-why-loving-yourself-is-not-crucial-for-loving-others.mp3?download=true

What is self love

In this segment of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna I want to answer the question of, self love, what is it? Specifically, can you love another if you don’t first love yourself.

I have been saying for years that you can’t love another if you can’t first, love yourself, because you can’t give away what you don’t have. If you can’t even, love yourself, then you don’t know what love is, so you can love someone else. That is until I heard Eckhart Tolle say that when we talk about, self love, we are saying that there are two beings self and someone else. That if we are separating self from being then we got it wrong.

Let me back up and give you the definition of Self-love. Self love, is  defined as “love of self” or “regard for one’s own happiness or advantage”, it has been conceptualized both as a basic human necessity and as a moral flaw, akin to vanity and selfishness, conceitedness, egotism, narcissism.

I grew up thinking when someone called me selfish it was the worst thing, until I understood the concept of, self love, and putting yourself first.

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How to practice self love

  • You put yourself first.
  • You are authentically yourself.
  • You are honest with yourself.
  • You express yourself freely.
  • You say positive things to yourself.
  • Forgiving yourself when you mess up.
  • Meeting your own needs.
  • Being assertive.
  • Not letting others take advantage of or abuse you.
  • Prioritizing your health and wellbeing.

But Eckhart Tolle teaches that when you talk about loving yourself it means you are splitting you and self, and that means that you have missed the concept of being. If you be yourself then you don’t have to love yourself.

You are not separate from self, so no need to love yourself, no need to be proud of yourself, no need to pat yourself on the back.

When you understand that the ripple or waves is part of the ocean and you are the ripple that is part of the ocean of the universe, you do not separate self from the whole.

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Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

You don’t have to love yourself first: to love another

So, the answer to the question Can you love another if you don’t, love yourself, is NO; it is not necessary to, love yourself, before you can love another.

If you are not comfortable with being with yourself when you are alone, you will seek another to complete you, but what will happen is that the need that made you seek another human to complete you, will show up in another form in the relationship, because another person cannot fill the void inside of you, only you can fill that void by accepting the present moment in whatever form it presents itself and just be yourself.

When you are in a relationship and you still feel alone, you blame your partner for not giving you what you need. You become needy, but even if your partner tells you he or she loves you every hour of the day, you still feel unloved, because you don’t love yourself and don’t know how to be yourself.

Ever heard a man say I can’t please this woman?

Will Smith is a classic example of this phenomenon. He said in his autobiography, he spent weeks planning a surprise 40th birthday party for Jada. He was very proud of his work and he expected her to be so grateful and see his love; yet all she saw was that he wanted to make himself look good by receiving praise for planning such an extravagant  party and missed the love that was behind the effort.

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If you don’t love yourself you cannot receive love

He was hurt by her lack of appreciation and walked out of the marriage saying I can’t ever please this woman. He also told her if it is possible for you to be happy, show me.  This was because Jada had a hole in her heart that Will Smith could not fill. She had to fill it herself. She had to find her wholeness by connecting to source, God.

So, no need to love yourself, feel sorry for yourself, judge yourself, hate yourself, all you need is to be yourself.

When you are able to be yourself, you can watch your emotions, you can watch your thoughts, so you are no longer controlled by them.

You watch them until they pass through you or float away like colored balloons. That is how you practice, self love, and that is by loving the whole you by being yourself.

Thanks for tuning into this weeks episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

How to Love Yourself and Heal The Body

How to Maintain a Long-Term Relationship

 

When it comes to a, long-term relationship, with a partner or spouse, we can maintain the thrill of being in love, and deepen our feelings of passion and intimacy past the first year.  Statistics show that most, long-term relationships start out to fizzle after the first year.  So to maintain the, long-term relationship, dance you have to embrace, intimacy.

However, to do this means avoiding certain behaviors, habits, and traps that, long-term relationships,  commonly fall into the longer they stay together. Staying in, love, means taking the hard road and differentiating from negative past influences. It means challenging our own defenses and facing our, often subconscious, fears about intimacy.

Fighting for a, long-term relationship, means being stubborn about not getting in our own way of staying close to someone else.

Today on Mindset Transformation Radio and podcast, we are continuing with our series on the The Alchemy of Desire – The, Long-Term Relationship, Dance.

My co -host for this series is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “The Alchemy of Desire and Intimacy”

What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.

We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling, long-term relationships, with our partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on the desire for flow in our, long-term relationship, and not ebb.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

 

The Dance of Intimacy

Anyone in a, long-term relationship, knows the, relationship, dance well. It took me a while to understand this dance of, intimacy. I walked out of my first marriage at age 21 declaring boldly “I am no longer in love with my husband and I refuse to live in a loveless marriage at age 21.” After 4 marriages I now know that relationships EBB and FLOW and that we must work at, intimacy Erotic love, turns into, Agape love. Passion and desire EBB and FLOW.

In all my, long-term relationships, fighting and then having, make up sex, was usually the shock than rejuvenated the, relationship.

In the beginning of anything there is more energy just as electrify is more powerful at the source, feelings are more powerful when they are new.

As feelings change and familiarity sets in the, intimacy, dance begins. Just as you have to practice the waltz on the dance floor, in a similar way you must practice your, long-term relationship, dance in the bedroom.

It is important to understand why you and your partner connected in the first place and why you disconnected.

Since all relationships begin within, the scenery out there is the scenery in here.

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iHeart Radio

You have to love yourself first in a long-term relationship

You can’t give away what you don’t have. You have to be, love, before you can give away, love. So the first step when you become aware of the, EBB and Flow, in your relationship is to take an inventory of  your, self love.

In our first episode I introduced the book The Alchemy of Desire. In this book the lovers were passionate and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, then life happened and, intimacy, veined.

Every, long-term relationship, faces this junction of lack of, desire.  Once, long-term relationships, become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again. To the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy  if a, long-term relationship, is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity attention and nurture of earlier times is essential.

Relationship Advice How to Water your Long-term relationship

Here is some, relationship advice, In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and sunlight if they are to thrive.

We water our, long-term relationships, by showing interest in our partners. We shine light on our, relationships, by smiling and being genuinely happy to see our partners.

I was at a stand-up comedy show with Mike Epps a few years back and he made a joke about how his wife would meet him at the door with a beer and loving embrace when they were first married, and now she shrugs and says oh it’s you!

I am genuinely happy to see my husband walk through the door and when he calls me during the day. I let him know that I appreciate him thinking about me.

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The marriage relationship is an important piece of the, long term relationship, dance

Myrna – Margo what is your take on the, long-term relationship, dance? Personally you have mentioned several times that your, long-term relationships, end after 10 years. What does the dance look like to you?

Margo – I don’t know why but my, long term relationships, always seem to last only 10 years.  The men leave me.

Myrna – Looking back can you see the point when the, long-term relationship, ebb resulted in a break? How can anyone listening understand  that ebb into a flow?

Myrna – What are some tips to keep Desire flowing instead of ebbing?

  • spend quality time together
  • be open to new experiences – if your partner likes to do something be open to new
  • show your love, don’t hold back
  • keep your identity as an individual
  • don’t be defensive in communication, be open in communication
  • be generous, give as you would want to receive

Understand that there is Eff and Flow in all Long-term relationships

If you find yourself in, Ebb and flow, should you panic or understand that is the flow of life that what goes up must come down.

It is fact that whenever you lean in to a relationship the other person leans out.  That is the make up of, long-term relationships, there is, ebb and flow.

Have you been dealt some bad cards in life? Understand Ebb and flow of life 

Then I invite you to an afternoon of learning and inspiration on “How to deal with the cards you have been dealt in Life”
This event will be at the Main Broward Library at 100 South Andrews Ave , 6 th floor, Fort Lauderdale, FL
on Saturday May 12 from 2.00 to 4.30 pm
Come out and be a part of our studio audience.
The first 5 guests will get a FREE autographed copy of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
This is a book signing and a live talk radio show airing locally on WDJY 99.1 FM Metro Atlanta
If you need more information, email me at info@myhelps.us

Additional Resources

5 Mindset Shifts For Couples to Have Fantastic Relationships

Self love is the secret Out of the Snares of Child Abuse

 

In her book ” Out of the Snares, Author Bernadette Trotman shares how, self love, can bring you out of the snares  of, poverty, addiction, child abuse and any other snare of the trapper.

The 9th Principle taught in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” is Love.
Love. This 4 letter word is so powerful! and, self love, is this love turned inside.
Love including, self love is  the most powerful force in the universe!
It can break the bonds of years, sometimes generations of, addictions, and, generational curses.

God’s Love for Humanity

God’s love, for humanity caused him to send his only begotten son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can have everlasting life.

A mother’s love, for her child gives her superhuman strength, to save her child from death or injury.

The love we have for our wife and husband keeps off stress and diseases when that love is active and healthy.
You see when we are in the throes of our love experiences, we look at the world through rose colored glasses.
Everything is sunny. We stop to smell the roses.
Our hearts beat faster when our loved ones are near.

We ride the energy waves of this spiritual connection and in turn we feel energized, we smile and laugh more and we don’t sweat the small stuff!

Research shows that this positive energy force cleanses our ethereal bodies and removes patches of stuck energies that can cause disease.

Get out of the Snares with Self Love

In my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement,
I share my encounters with love. These encounters have shaped my current world and allowed me to embrace love because I know from personal experiences how good it feels!

The energy of love combined with, sexual energy, is even more powerful!
When you transmute, sexual energy, for the person you love, you can create or imagine life changing books, companies and inventions that propel humanity forward!

But, it all starts with self-love.
Justin Bieber – Love Yourself (PURPOSE : The Movement)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyEuk8j8imI

You can’t give away what you don’t have.

In order for you to give love to another you must first have, self love, inside of you.
You have to love yourself, you have to love your world or the space you work and play in your world.

You have to love God, your creator.

When you have, self love, you gain, self confidence

Self-confidence is necessary for you to be successful in your career and in your business
Click the link below to hear a powerful story of how lack of self-confidence can ruin your world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J1ECHTnc64

Love doesn’t have to be the Notebook kind with grand gestures and sacrifice.
We love to watch movies like the Notebook about true love that never dies.
We are inspired by stories about Edward, Prince of Wales and Wallace Simpson and how he chose love over the throne; but most of us would settle for the simple acts of love.

This artist depicts these acts in her paintings so wonderfully and every couple should aspire to connect on this level.
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse coming up and giving them a hug while they are cooking in the kitchen?
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse watching chick flicks with them and enjoying it as much as they do?
• Who wouldn’t love going out for ice cream and licking each other ice cream cones and stealing a kiss?
• Who wouldn’t love just being in a room and just enjoying each other, laying on your husbands lap while you read a book?
• Who wouldn’t like coming home and seeing your husband with a apron on in the kitchen cooking dinner?

Who wouldn’t have, self love, after all this.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Love shouldn’t be only for your spouse, children, family and friends. Love should be for all relationships in and out of the workplace, with customers, suppliers, everyone!

Giving love and compassion to the people you work with yields immense, self love.

In his book “How to win Business and Influence Friends” by Tim Sanders, Chief solutions Officer at Yahoo calls this BizLove from, self love.
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Is-Killer-App-Influence/dp/1400046831

This book shows how to be a LoveCat at work.

Here are 5 ways to be a LoveCat at work with, self love:

1. Greet everyone who walks into your office or room with eye contact and a smile.
2. Hug your close associates or people you have a personal relationship at work.
3. Replace the word Hate with the word, self love, whenever you can and watch it transform the energy.
4. Read lots of books and offer the knowledge gained from these books to your co-workers to help them with projects, initiatives or difficult personal situations.
5. Start a book club at work and have everybody share cliff notes from the books read.

All in all, self love, is like a boomerang, it always comes back so give it freely.

It is like seeds that blow in the wind. It does not always come back from the people we choose to love; but it always comes back

Check out my chapter on Love in my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE

If you are an author and would like to be featured in this Blog, radio and podcast

Click this link to order your interview

Author Interview, Transform your mind podcast
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“Small Business, How to Mind your own business while working your day job”
Love yourself enough to start building your personal Brand.

Click here for more information

Small Business:How to Mind Your Own Business while Working your Day Job

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

Additional Resources

“About Myrna Young Life Coach”

 

How to love yourself