Nicole Leffer is a Spiritual coach and, Clairvoyant, in this episode she teaches us, how to use intuition, to make decisions and lead happier, more fulfilling, purpose driven lives.
Using Intuition to help others
As an, Intuitive, and, medium, Nicole is able to pick up on information and guidance about past, present and future situations, as well as relationship and situational dynamics and likely outcomes of situations. Her gifts operate primarily via, clairvoyant, (intuitive seeing), clairaudient (intuitive hearing), clairsentient (intuitive feeling), and claircognizant (intuitive knowing) impressions. She is also a, medium, and can frequently pick up on the emotions others are experiencing and she often picks up on world events before they happen.
Called to utilize her gifts to help others lead happier, more fulfilling and purpose driven lives, Nicole offers, intuitive, readings and spiritual coaching both in Atlanta and around the world.
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So we’re going to talk today about, intuition. How to use intuition, to transform your life. So how do we tie in, intuitive, reading to, intuition?
When I received the information from an, intuitive reading, it's always a guide. What I get is more about the situation in your life. For example, a parent is trying to decide about keeping their child in a certain school. They're having issues with their child and they're thinking about moving them to another school. They're leaning toward moving them to another school; but they're in conflict. I may get the information in the form of an apple, which is a reference to education, then I'll know it's about their child.
They're leaning towards a change that their own, intuition, is trying to guide them toward making the change, and I will get a validation. Something like this change will be good for your child in the long run. Because of my gift, I get clearer information downloaded to me. The parents are tapping into their, intuition, to move their child to another school but it is corrupted with doubt.
Most of my questions are, about relationships. Should I marry this man? Is this woman the one? But I don’t answer questions until I have a total download of my intuitive reading. I have no idea in the beginning of the reading of what the person’s primary objective is. I ask them to accept the reading and whatever downloads to me and then after I receive, then I ask them what they want to know.
How to use intuition, so that it works for you.
We're all built with the capacity of, intuition. It is what makes us human. The first step in, using your, intuition, is recognizing that we all receive our, intuition, in multiple different ways; so the first thing is identifying how you personally receive your, intuition. If you don't know how you receive, intuition, you can't recognize it when you receive it. If you are, clairvoyant, then you see the picture in your mind. It's not like you use something outside of your body or anything like that, it’s more like you close your eyes and picture the image in your mind. If you're a visual learner and are very visual, there's a really good chance that you get your, intuition, by seeing.
I think a lot more people have the gift of hearing. When you hear, it very similar to if you're reading a book and your mind hears your inner voice. It is not a voice outside your head or hearing voices or anything like that. It is a variation of your own voice that you get your, intuitive, hit with.
How to use intuition, I personally get my, intuition, first thing in the morning when I'm waking up. That's how I recognize that it is my higher self, giving me instructions and I always act on those instructions. I also meditate every single day, that helps me stay clear. I think if you are curious about really wanting to be in touch with your, intuition, a meditation practice is absolutely the best thing anybody can start with. It is the jumping off point.
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Addiction and recovery side effects can include, anxiety disorder, and panic attacks. In this episode Dr Tra Ahia, Psychologist offers treatment options for dealing with, anxiety disorder.
I was listening to a podcast last week and the guest was talking about her, anxiety disorder, and her story triggered a memory of a personal acquaintance who was a heroin addict and developed, anxiety disorder.
My first introduction to Anxiety Disorder
In the late 80's I was working in sales and my boss's daughter was an, Heroin addict. We were close enough that she would tell me what it was like being addicted to Heroin. She told me how she would cook the heroin until it became a liquid and then she would shoot it into her neck because she got a more immediate high. She showed me the holes in her neck which she covered up with scarves. Her father who was wealthy gave her a car and she sold that car for peanuts to get money to buy Heroin.
She attempted to go to rehab several times; but always walked out because she said they just left you in a room to scream in pain. She said the pain of withdrawal was unbearable. She then started a methadone treatment which is a synthetic version of Heroin. They reduced the dose of the methadone gradually to wean your body off Heroin. But what I want to get to was her, anxiety disorder. She got such bad, panic attacks, her gut was always in knots, that she couldn't leave the house without her safe person, her boyfriend. I don't remember if he used drugs; but when the relationship ended she was unable to leave to leave the house for weeks, not even to buy groceries. Then she was too anxious to start dating. She stressed about some man asking “Can I touch your boobs” I don't know what became of her; but I think of her often.
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If you have an, anxiety disorder – Your brain raises ahead to predict the future. The guest on the podcast had, anxiety disorder, and she described it as “life fright” or , agoraphobia, She said to think about Stage fright. You feel nervous, you think you are going to freeze up or faint, you start to sweat, you think people are going to laugh at you etc. well people with, anxiety disorder, or, agoraphobia, feel like that all the time.
They have, agoraphobia, talking to strangers, checking out at the grocery store, at the bank, going for an interview, at a cocktail party, almost any conversation with a stranger, that's why the guest called it “life fright.”
Dr Tra as the author of the book “Call me an Addict, war on women” How does my story regarding anxiety being called “Life Fright” relates to your experience?
I think for that young lady or whoever coined that term, for her that helped her manage her, anxiety disorder. That term helped her understand for herself this thing that she was feeling, so for her that was a good term to use, this, Life Fright. My thoughts when I think about, life fright, is that I'm afraid of living period. The entire gamut of life, so for me I would not use that term as a replicator to, anxiety disorder; but I can see why she did.
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I understand there are 3 types of, Anxiety Disorders,
Situational anxiety
social anxiety and
high functioning anxiety
Can you explain the difference of these forms of, anxiety, and which is most common with substance abuse?
There are more than just three types of, anxiety disorder, way more. I think it's important also for the audience to understand that when we talk about, anxiety disorder, we're talking about an irrational fear or, agoraphobia, of something that someone is experiencing. It's irrational, it's not logical that you are excessively fearful over this specific situation or you're apprehensive about something or you have difficulty managing daily tasks. So when we think about, agoraphobia, or, anxiety disorder, I want them to know that it's irrational to know your heart is racing, and you feel like you’re going to die.
There are six main categories of, anxiety disorders, like I said there are more than three!
Phobias
Panic attacks, with or without, agoraphobia, you have
Generalized, anxiety disorder,
Obsessive compulsive disorder or, OCD,
Acute stress disorder and
Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD
The American Psychological Association lists research on how, anxiety disorder, is diagnosed.
This disorder called, anxiety disorder, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
It’s normal to become anxious and at one time or another. A car almost hit you, you are going for an interview, you sense danger etc. Anxiety is normal under certain conditions, what we are talking about here is the irrational fear or, agoraphobia, that is a disorder.
Something who's unable to leave their home. This is, agoraphobia, they have a fear of leaving surroundings that they're familiar with.
This a serious affliction.
There are three systems of functioning that need to change in, Anxiety Disorder
Cognitive
Physical and
Behavioral
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How would, high-functioning anxiety, work?
An addict could develop a, panic attack, because perhaps they're they don't have the substance anymore, or it could be someone who gains, agoraphobia, as a result of some interaction they've had with a place they frequented to attain their substance.
An addict with, high-functioning anxiety, usually is on a treatment plan in conjunction with medication to control their, anxiety disorder.
An addict could develop a, panic attack, because perhaps they're they don't have the substance anymore, or it could be someone who gains, agoraphobia, as a result of some interaction they've had with a place they frequented to attain their substance.
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My research shows that these disorders present themselves as early as 14 years old and can be treated successfully by mental health professionals if treatment is started early; but because people feel that mental illness equals crazy, they don't talk about it or seek help.
Research show that 90% of suicides results from mental illness like, anxiety disorder, and depression. How does talk therapy from a Life Coach, social worker or Psychologist such as yourself help patients?
Talk therapy allows the client to feel listened to and understood. It allows them to download and get advise. It can save many from suicide.
How would you help someone suffering from, anxiety disorder?
Mental illness is something that keeps a lot of people up at night but nobody wants to talk about during the day
It is the visitor who enters without knocking
1 in 20 become disabled by mental illness i.e. Can't function in society
So let's start talking.
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How can women use their intuitive gifts to understand the mindset of the, sexual predator, like, R Kelly? We check the boxes to understand why, sexual predators, seek out and choose certain women.
The Lifetime series, Surviving r Kelly, and the follow up Dateline episode, show a rich and famous, R Kelly, feeding his sex machine with women of all ages. His preference seemed to be teenage girls as young as 12 years old; but women in their 30's had the same experience. One said that she did unspeakable things in a Black room, was starved, had to ask before she went to the bathroom, was physically abused, and had to call, r Kelly, Daddy.
So in this interview, Nicole and I explore the mindset of a, sexual predator, and how women of all ages can use their intuition to escape the lair of a, sexual predator.
Have you ever gotten a reading on the, mindset sexual predator,?
Nicole since you are an intuitive and there's been a lot of readings, have you ever gotten a reading on a, sexual predator? What is going on in the mindset of a, sexual predator,?
I've never done a reading where I sat like I sat down and read a, sexual predator. I don't think that somebody in that space would allow that. I have had a couple of times the in readings for other people who was a victim of a, predator. What I picked up was a lot of assurance that it was not their fault. Something about them triggered the mindset of the, sexual predator. Something from their childhood or from their past that they were tormented and deeply tortured about, attracted the, sexual predator, so they became the target.
This is also the Law of Attraction concept. The energy that you are putting out attracts, sexual predators. They can read you. If you have a lot of insecurities within yourself, a, predator, can pick up on your insecurities and that they have the opportunity to come in and fill that void.
You become vulnerable if you view yourself as not enough and the, sexual predator, can sniff that out.
The other factor that has come through in my, intuitive readings, is that the, sexual predator, is also trying to fill some need in themselves. They have learned that preying on the innocent, dulls the pain inside themselves and gives them the sense of power and control over their victims. Whatever it is they're trying to get through or over, they're using this behavior as their outlet for that. It is not a healthy behavior by any means, but it's similar to how people use drugs or they'll use alcohol or they'll use sex or they'll use a million different things. It's like somehow somewhere along the way, this person has learned that this is a solution to their pain, their torment, their torture and the wires get crossed in their brains and this is what happens.
How do we use our Intuition to understand, the mindset sexual predator,?
We do have an, intuition, in ourselves to be able to prevent this from happening to us. Not 100 percent of the time, but as humans we are able to pick up the warning signs and cues, if we are paying attention.
One of the victims in the, Surviving Robert R Kelly, interview said just that. She said that, sexual predators, look for the, weak minded woman,. They usually go for the young, like teenagers because they are, weak minded women, but if they find you are weak minded as an adult, then you become a victim as well. She was one of the women in her 30's who was a victim. So if you are a, weak minded woman, then you are not using your, intuition, instead, you are looking for this person to fill the void in your life, and in, the mindset of a, sexual predator, they are more than happy to accommodate.
Listen to the rest on this interview on audio to understand how your feeling of not being enough activates the, sexual predator, to target you.
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One of the worst, negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of, being stuck; defined as moving forward or going back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you, get unstuck?
Our topic today is How to, Get Unstuck. This is a, life coaching, session with, coach Myrna
Transform your Mind Stitcher
Being stuck, is a place of no personal power
https://youtu.be/w4Qxq23FzPQ
What it feels like to be stuck
A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was, stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free, life coaching, to, get unstuck.
She was in an, abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. In order to, get unstuck, she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister's home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister's home, because she didn't have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her, abusive relationship!
How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck, is when the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation.
It could be an intolerable boss.
It could be a demeaning job.
How do you make the decision to, get unstuck?
How do you find the strength to want something better?
How did I coach this situation?
This is the major benefit of, life coaching, the ability of the, life coach, to see the frame.
You see you can't see the frame when you are the picture!
I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her, abusive relationship. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing. It was, stuck, in repeat.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister's lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn't cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
.
After we got past the, negative emotions, we were then able to plan for the future to , get unstuck.
You can't plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in, negative energy, and self-pity of, being stuck.
I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to, get unstuck.
1: Hope and Faith are important to getting unstuck
Faith, that God can make a way out of no way.
Faith, that even though you can't see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.
The message of, faith, in this story is that you can't think that God intended for you to live in an, abusive relationship, being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley, get unstuck, and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.
Once you find that, positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.
My coachee got the job we are moving in the direction to, get unstuck.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don't let him convince you that you are, stuck.
2: Another way to get unstuck is to move the energy around.
The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have, stuck, energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don't feel like doing until you feel like doing it!
Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.
You have to get over disappointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don't let tragedy destroy you and keep you, stuck.
Don't stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can't take big steps Automatic negative thoughts don't take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.
Similarly, being stuck, on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.
It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.
It is important to, get unstuck, remove , negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.
3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck
What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a, life coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.
One way to do this is to memorize and recite the, serenity prayer, several times per day
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can't coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.
4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can't or won't move right now.
I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!
So for example if you are, stuck, in order to, get unstuck, you have to become aware of your thoughts. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn't know any better.
If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn't know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.
This is a simple example but it works to, get unstuck. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.
Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.
5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself
Come back to the problem later
Write out options and solutions
Write out the worrying situation
Write what you can do about it
Write what you cannot control about it.
6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.
The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be, stuck, but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.
Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to, get unstuck, think differently, and you will feel differently.
Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.
Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.
Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.
Some of you are, stuck, because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.
As Neapolitan Hill said
As a man thinking so is he.
Shakespeare puts it another way
“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”
7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself
You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances
Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.
You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.
What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?
I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.
We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.
Use your negative energy to get unstuck
Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can't know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!
She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.
She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!
To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
Health is wealth, If you don’t have your, health, no amount of wealth can buy it. A healthy, weight, is an indication of health so today we are talking about, how to lose weight, without dieting.
Listen to full interview here:
Health is Wealth
Think about it. Most of us dream about becoming wealthy but would you trade your ability to walk for a million dollars? I know I wouldn’t.
The second way we could look at the phrase, health is wealth, is that you can be healthy but poor and still be happy. On the flip side, you can have copious amounts of wealth, but if you don’t have your, health, you would willingly trade all your money to feel good or be healthy again.
So the message in this, health is wealth, series is, You can't just trash your body and then try to alleviate the evidence of disease.
Health, is not the absence of disease, disease is the absence of, health.
What is, health? According to the dictionary, health, is fitness of body or mind, and freedom from disease or ailment. It can be body fitness, or mental fitness.
What is wealth? In the same dictionary the meaning of, wealth, is stated as “a great quantity of money, valuable possessions, property, or other riches.
So in the first episode of this series we and going to unpack how your, health is your wealth,. To start off this series, our topic today is “How to Lose Weight, without dieting”
How to Lose Weight when you Have an Eating Disorder
At a very young age, I suddenly and randomly developed an obsession with my size. I thought that my thighs should be thinner and I thought if my thighs were smaller, I would be perfect. By the way, I was a perfectly normal weight.But I became convinced that thinner legs would somehow make me better.This obsession just got worse as I got older and by the time I was an adolescent,I had full blown, eating disorder.My last thought at night was what did I eat today.I would fall asleep counting the calories and fat grams of my food intake for the day and figuring how to, lose weight,
The scale was my most welcome friend and my biggest enemy, it ruled my life.So much so that when I went hiking with friends or did anything fun like dancing,I would focus on how many calories I was burning instead of how much fun I was having.I would be calculating how, to loose weight,
Getting Therapy to Help Lose Weight
I would restrict restrict myself of food and then eventually I would binge and then purge. So finally I went to therapy.Iwould open up with my therapist about every aspect of my life except one, I never ever told her what was going on with me and food.I went to my therapist once a week for three years and I never talked about what was going with my. eating disorders.
After some time in therapy, I became aware of my feelings.I learned to process my emotions rather than to deny them.I learned to use words to comfort myself instead of using words to criticize myself.By the time I left therapy, I had zero, eating disorder, or, anorexia, issues and No unhealthy relationship to food. The amazing thing about this is that not once did I ever talked about food to my therapist.When I fixed my emotional issues, I fixed my, anorexia.So the answer to the question How to, lose weight, without, dieting, is first learning how to process your emotions instead of stuffing them down with food.
People ask me all the time. How did you recover from three, eating disorders, that consumed your life without ever talking about it?How is that possible?The answer is that whatever was going on with food and my, eating disorders, was a symptom of the actual problem, not the problem.When Ilearned different ways of coping with what was going on with me, I cured my, eating disorders including, anorexia.
How to, lose weight, by understanding why you eat certain finds of foods
I developed this formula to help people figure out you know what is eating them out.
If you like creamy foods like ice cream or frozen yogurt or pudding. It suggests a longing for comfort or nurturing. Limit your exposure to these foods to, lose weight,.
If you like foods that like bread, pasta, cake, pizza those are correlated to loneliness since they arebulky and they symbolically filling an internal void.Fill your internal void by finding a hobby. Doing something you like instead of eating. It will help you to, lose weight,
Finally, foodsthat are crunchy like chips or pretzels, anything with a crunch suggest you are angry. Dealing with your anger in a healthy way will help you to, lose weight.
The best way to deal with the triggers of emotional eating is try to understand where they're coming from.It is the first step. The next step is to deal with those an underlying feelings of lack of self worth.
How do you see yourself?
How do you feel your loneliness?
How do you express your anger?
How do you deal with what you are feeling?
Weight Loss Tips
Nurtureyourself with words instead of ice cream.If you use mean words to describe yourself and then you nurture yourself with food, it becomes a viscous cycle. You eat the ice cream and you call yourself nasty words for being so weak, then you eat again to comfort yourself.
When you feel good about yourself it's easier to be good to yourself.
The most practical thing that you can do, is to throw out your scale. It is a tyrant, it does not measure your value, it ruins your day. It has too much power over you,so getting it out of your life is a very powerful stance that you can take on your own behalf.
Download to listen to the rest of this powerful interview and learn five main reasons for diet sabotage.
Download and subscribe to hear all episodes in this series.
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Renee Garcia teaches what is, reality transurfing, and how we can use it to improve our frequency, our thoughts and alternate reality.
Listen to the full interview here:
Renée is a lifelong entrepreneur, a Certified Reality Transurfing instructor, and an Alternatives Space adventurer – endorsed by Vadim Zeland the author and creator of, Reality Transurfing.
Having ventured deeply into the metaphysical world of Reality Creation she has transformed personal failure into success, poverty into abundance, sickness into healing, and a bleak worldview into one brimming with joy and magic. Renée has employed, Reality Transurfing, to discover fulfillment, true purpose in life and connect with the highest version of herself.
With a self-built practical methodology and magical wand in hand, she is now empowering others around the world to do so the same.
What was your journey into the self development and reality transurfing space?
Renee – I don't want to say I had an unfortunate childhood or an unfortunate background because I later used my background to help other people. I now view all the parts of my life that I was ashamed of or I didn't like or I felt disadvantaged, as data to help my, transurfing, clients understand reality jumping.
All of that stuff that happened in my childhood really helped me in gaining success for myself. I had achieved a good deal of success for myself given that I wasn't college educated. I didn’t even graduate from high school.
I managed to start my own business and gained success. I had this outward-facing image that a lot of people perceived as successful; but I was very damaged inside. reality transurfing, helped me to connect with and the void of these things and sort of broke me in what I call my pre-transurfing reality.
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Reality Transurfing allow you to choose your reality
Reality transurfing, started for me when I was about 35 years old. I woke up one morning and realized that I was utterly miserable. So I decided to take some pretty bold steps. I disconnected from life as I knew it in the big city. I gave up my business, moved out to the country and just went inward for about a year searching for answers.
It was at this time that I found, reality transurfing. This was about six years ago. I was not from a world of, self-development, or, self-help. I had gone to conventional therapy for a number of years just to get over some of my childhood trauma and, poverty mentality.
A lot from my mindset was holding me back; but when I found, reality transurfing, it was completely new knowledge, completely new information to me. I immediately saw what I had done to get myself into that place where life broke me.
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Reality transurfing, is very big in Russia where the knowledge originated about 15 years ago. I saw massive transformationin my mindset, my worldview, my outlook on life, my success, everything.
I decided right then that I was going to help others change their mindset with, reality transurfing.
It was at this time that I found, reality transurfing. This was about six years ago. I was not from a world of, self-development, or, self-help. I had gone to conventional therapy for a number of years just to get over some of my childhood trauma and, poverty mentality.
A lot from my mindset was holding me back; but when I found, reality transurfing, it was completely new knowledge, completely new information to me. I immediately saw what I had done to get myself into that place where life broke me.
Renee – That's all sort of developing now and it's really fascinating the types of people that come into the, reality transurfing, community. There are a number of people I certified as, transurfing instructors. There are psychologists in Mexico using, reality transurfing, as a tool.
Lots of therapists and lots of psychologists, people that are involved in the more metaphysical side of of self-development are using, reality transurfing. It's kind of like quantum physics meets therapy so it's appealing.
We like to say that it's, the law of attraction, for smart people. It's a much more evolved version of the, law of attraction, with all the blank spots filled in. We obviously know that there's something to law of attraction; but why does, law of attraction, work? Reality transurfing, fills in all those why's of why law of attraction works.
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Renee – Reality transurfing, essentially means surfing multiple realities. What I'm talking about is, quantum jumping. So what does, quantum jumping, mean? The best way for me to describe it and make it relatable and understandable for everyone is to use myself as an example.
I told you that I had an unfortunate childhood. There was trauma there, I didn't graduate from high school, I didn't go to college. That is a version of reality that is available to me.
But I'm sitting here talking to you on a podcast right where I'm an expert on, reality transurfing, I'm an expert on a self-development book that was written in Russia and kind of exotic, I'm leading a movement of people and I'm considered a thought leader. I'm on the cutting edge of a self-development technology and people want me to come on their podcasts and people want me to give seminars and people want to fly me around and have me speak on stage.
So this is an alternate version of reality that I’ve accessed using the concepts in the, reality transurfing, book. We use this analogy to explain the, transurfing, modality of turning a dial on a television or a radio, like changing the channel.
Our power as creators to be able to choose which channel we turn to.
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Myrna – This morning I was listening to Dr Joe Dispenza on a podcast and he was talking about something very similar to this. He said to imagine the future you want and shift your reality to believe you already have it.
If something is bugging you right now or you're angry or maybe you're looking at past trauma, one way to change the channel is to think about what you're dreaming of in the future.
Renee -Yes we can play victim that channel doesn't bring happiness, that channel brings victimhood.
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There are 11 core concepts of, transurfing. If you were to adopt just one concept from the, reality transurfing, modality it will help you to see reality in a different way.
Myrna – Awesome let's talk about the core concepts or core modalities of, reality transurfing.
Renee – I'll describe the first five. There's 11 core concepts and if you split them right down the middle, the first five concepts represent a donut hole. This hole signifies you're not living your best life. You're irritated, you don't like the state of affairs in the world, you don’t like USA politics etc. You are depressed, maybe have anxiety and don't feel your life has meaning.
The first five concepts of, reality transurfing, are going to help you get up out of that hole. The next five, transurfing, concepts are going to help you build a foundation and a new structure.
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Transurfing Steps
The first step in, transurfing, is to help you develop your connection with this alternative reality and realize that you can create from it.
The second step is to get off entities that have adhered to you that are draining you energetically or spiritually. The biggest one right now is politics and the media that has rendered people almost comatose.
That's where fear lives. Pendulums use fear as their number one hook.
Step three is defeating pendulums or learning how to manage your pendulums.
When you do that and you are successful. You've got a good connection with the alternative space, you understand what pendulums create your reality for you and you take back your energy from those pendulums.
The fourth step is what we refer to as the wave of success.
The wave of success is a phenomenon in the, transurfing, modality where you accumulate positive thoughts, actions, and frequency from your environment to improve your thoughts about yourself.
Life Tracks and Quantum Jumping
Life tracks are like different channels that you can turn to in the, quantum jumping, space. The idea is that you use the law of physics with energy and your perception of reality to essentially move you to some of these higher life tracks or higher channels. More of what you want exists in abundance in this alternative reality.
The fifth step is the opposite of the wave of success. Our intention is to climb higher on the life tracks or tune the dial to a higher channel. We call this induced transition. Induced transition is when you buy into negative information or negative news. This is when you buy into people's negative thoughts or views of you or what you're doing.
This is you tuning to a lower channel, so the induced transition is sort of the concept that keeps a, transurfer, in check. You become aware of energy and how it affects your mood health.
Myrna – Just this morning I was listening to Dr Joe Dispenza's on a podcast and he was talking about using the wave of energy from your Heart and taking it up to your brain so you are living in a higher frequency.
Then you will attract the things you want. Exactly the same thing you're talking about here.
How can Transurfing help us create our own reality?
Renee – People have heard about the, quantum field, but nobody understood it. So now we are filling in the blanks. People are not going to irritate you, you are going to get angry. But you can clean your layer of reality.
If you've got negative energy you can't create, you have to be in that positive frame of mind to create. Joe dispenza was talking about that energy wave going from the heart to the mind. We call this heart and mind coordination and this is a big part of, reality transurfing.
It's the heart saying yes to something and then it's the mind agreeing. This is what Vadim Zealand, reality transurfing, author did to create this book.
What is quantum jumping exactly
Renee – Quantum jumping, is pretty much switching the channels. We use all sorts of analogies, like a river analogy. Quantum jumping, you can get caught into different streams and navigate to different places. We say quantum jumping, or changing the channel.
There's a four-step process to, quantum jumping.
Acknowledge and this is where your connection with the alternative space will come in. You have to acknowledge that this version of reality does in fact exist.
You have to tune your thoughts. Just as there are infinite versions of reality, there are also infinite versions of self. You must envision what the optimal version of yourself looks like. There's a version of myself that feels depressed and traumatized by childhood. Maybe I'm addicted to drugs. But I choose to focus on the optimal version of myself as a thought leader and an expert on, reality transurfing.
Take action in that direction, so you're thinking like the optimal version of you. Practice until you are perfect.
The final step is to make sure that your frequency matches the frequency of that higher version of you. Remove things that take away or are detrimental to your frequency like alcohol, drugs, fast food, and media. Things that can improve your frequency are exercise and meditation.
Myrna – I love Abraham Hicks teachings on vibration and frequencies. I didn't know anything about, transurfing, and, quantum jumping, but I do know about frequency and the law of attraction.
Conclusion
Tell our listeners and readers how they can connect with you.
We have a thriving community. We have knowledge for everyone so if you don't have even the money to buy the book, you can watch the YouTube channel transurfing. You can also connect on our Facebook group It is called the International Transurfing Institute.
www.transsurfing.us is the website if you would like to find out information on any aspect of, reality transurfing. What it is, how to do it.
We have a course on teachable called reality transurfing 2.0. It is the only certified course by the author for the english language.
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Oleg Lougheed has a very interesting story of how he turned the, adversity, of his birth in Russia, living in an, orphanage, from 9 years old and then being adopted by an American family at 12 years old.
I love stories, right now I'm like almost addicted to Oprah's master class, because all she does is ask these influencers and stars to share their story and it always starts with their childhood. Oprah spends an enormous amount of time on their childhood story, because your childhood is what shapes into the person you are today.
Listen to the full interview here:
Introduction to Oleg's story of Adversity
The memories made in the first 12 years of my life were painted with shades of, poverty, loss, and a dim hope for a better life.
A hope that acted as my only survival method.
A hope that got me where I am today – 5,500 miles across the world – 5,500 miles between myself and the life I was destined to live.
I said goodbye to my birth Mother at the age of 12, not realizing that I would never see her again. I never met my Father.
I learned early on what alcoholism was, what starvation felt like, and what sacrifice meant.
For me, it took leaving the place I called home to find a better life in America.
It meant saying goodbye to my Mother, Sister, relatives, friends, and saying hello a new family and new friends.
At 12 years old, I was adopted from an, orphanage, in Chebarkul’, Russia to a family in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Adoption, changed my life.
Adoption, opened a door into a new world and forced me to close the door to everything I had ever known.
I am here today to tell my story.
The story of how I overcame my own odds.
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One of the reasons I love your story Oleg is because you've used your, adversity, to propel the, opportunity, you were given by being, adopted, by an American family.
Oleg says, adoption, changed his life which you know sometimes, adoption, is good and sometimes it does not take. I am also an adoptive mom so I can identify a little bit with your story.
I was born poor myself in, Guyana. I did not encounter starvation. or alcoholism and I was not, adopted; but my maternal aunt sponsored my mom and her three kids to move to Canada to live a better life.
My first question is, we're your adoptive parents able to heal the pain you experienced the first 12 years of your life?
Oleg – Before I share about my, adoption, let me give you some context into my own background. I'd like to acknowledge the fact that stories do play a critical role, overcoming adversity. Everything revolves around the story we tell ourselves. Our internal dialog.
My world shifted from, adversity, to, opportunity, when I stopped being the victim. As you had mentioned being born in Russia and living there for the first 12 years of my life and having experienced quite a bit of difficulty and, adversity, and tragedy.
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I began to realize I did not have the mindset that I have today. Back then I did not have the resources; I did not have the knowledge that is found in the book “Think and Grow Rich” and other great books.
So, for me it was about figuring out from day to day how to survive. It is funny that you mentioned Oprah because Oprah had a similar impact on my life. I once watched a video of Oprah sharing her story and there was a segment in that story where she spoke about her childhood and the trauma that she faced when she was a young girl.
One of the ways that she was able to, overcome adversity, was by believing in a better future or a brighter day. That is exactly how I survived as a child, by believing in a brighter future. Thinking of a brighter future, when I was nine years old, I was faced with the decision to either continue living with my mom and my sister or go and live in an, orphanage.
I chose to go live in an, orphanage, not realizing that meant not seeing my mom and sister again. I was adopted at 12 years old. I was able to come to the United States and hit the restart button. I think, adoption, has really helped me recognize that my life of, adversity, leading up to it was a dress rehearsal for the, opportunity, that lies ahead.
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After I was, adopted, I remember I was looking back upon my past and I lived in, victimhood. I lived in, victimhood, because I looked at all of those previous circumstances and asked, “why me.” I began to realize after a couple years that I could turnaround, adversity, into, opportunity.
That is when my life started to shift once again. I started my desire and passion for personal growth and personal development. Started seeing, opportunity. I did not just read books anymore I became a part of those books.
Myrna – My circle back question is “Do you feel that your, adoption, was Successful? Were you able to adapt to your new family and be not being able to see your birth mother?
Oleg – Before I fully answer that question, it's important to identify what successful, adoption, means to me. One of the biggest reasons why I choose to look at my, adoption, experience as successful as my parents were and still are tremendous human beings. They never raised their hand on me, they've always kept an open mind and open heart regardless of what the situation and circumstances I presented as a teenager.
Teenage boys not all; but some do not always make the best decisions, especially those who had a painful past from, adversity; but that is one of the beauties of my parents, even though we went through the ups and downs. We went through the multiple years of therapy both individually and collectively as a family. What really made this journey was beautiful that they continue to be there for me every step of the way.
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Myrna – It was an, opportunity, which is why we're talking about turning, adversity, into, opportunity.
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Why you think, adoption, changed your life?
Oleg – For me, adoption, one of the changes in my life was because it gave me a second chance in life. It gave me another, opportunity, to live the life that I once upon a time dreamed of. After going through, adversity, from a very young age and then after the, adoption, I chose a different story.
I started to ask the question “what am I here to learn”? What is this, adversity, here to teach me? I started to pair each one of those, adversities, with a lesson or a takeaway. My perspective became completely different. I was no longer letting the circumstances define me; but rather I was looking at those circumstances as something that I can learn from to move forward.
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Oleg – I started to tap into purpose. I was able to approach that initial question of” why me”? through the lines of if not you then who. I started to experience this sense of energy that was flowing through me from the, adversity, of my birth. I asked myself, what do I channel this energy into? I wanted to create a space for people of similar experiences such as those who are, adopted, or have gone through the foster care system. Create just an open space for them to share their experiences to be able to embrace and accept all aspects of that journey.
I wanted to highlight all the, adoption, and foster care stories because, how can a prospective, adoptive parent, know of the other side if they're only being presented with the side of the social worker.
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Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
When I started this, I received quite a bit of criticism, but I just started to create a space for people to write in comments or share their story. Eg my, adoption, was terrible because of x y z. I would just say “why tell me more.”
I was recently reading a book by David Goggins Can't Hurt Me
Myrna – OMG I love that book!
Oleg – There's a section in the book where he talks about judgment. Goggins says why judge anyone if you can still remember the feeling of being judged yourself. I started to realize that one of the reasons why I chose to not only respect myself; but respect those surrounding me is because in a way I've experienced what it was like to not be respected or
not be taken seriously.
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Now have a podcast called “Overcoming the Odds” it is all about creating a space for other people who lived through, adversity, to be heard and to be seen and to be appreciated through their stories.
I am a huge believer of choosing to lead from within so if I haven't experienced it myself, I’m probably not going to go into that area.
I am not going to speak from an experience that I haven't gone through.
I remember when I was first starting to explore the possibility of having a Podcast, I listened to podcasts like the time Tim Ferris show, Lewis Howes School of Greatness and Tony Robbins podcast. I noticed that. many of the guests were Influencers or stars, I realized that I wanted to do something different.
I wanted to shine a light on humans because I truly do believe that every single person has value to offer to this world, not only those who have made it or are successful but those who turned, adversity, into, opportunity. Our society is only interested in the stars' stories and podcasters are only interested in interviewing these stars because it builds their podcast.
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Up is Higher than Down Podcast We Explore how to be Deliberate, Defiant, and Determined to Look up! Get Up! And Stay Up! Despite the challenge Listen to others share how they keep it moving during these stressful times. Join up is higher than Down from all major podcasting networks Come on over to our Up is Higher Than Down Facebook Group and keep the conversation going. Grab-an-UP and Go! Remember, Any part of Up is Higher Than Down.
How can our listeners and those watching on YouTube connect with you?
Listeners can connect with me on Linkedin. That's where I spend the majority of my time. Part of the work that we do is we host events that focus on different themes and elements of the personal narrative. Our event this January is called “Survive to Thrive Attitude of Gratitude”
It's really about tapping into, gratitude, but not solely through the lens of who or what you are grateful for; but digs deeper.
You can also connect with me through our website “Overcoming Odds” and you'll be able to find us through Facebook and other social media channels @oleglougheed
Conclusion
I want to remind you to subscribe on the Transform Your Mind YouTube channel. To listen to the full interview of my conversation with Oleg head over to iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts and remember to leave a review and subscribe.
I would like to also invite you to join my Facebook group called life coach. We have a lot of Life coaches in the group who share inspirational messages every day including myself.
Thank you
Until Next time Namaste
Divine Forces is a collective of Recording Artists coming together to incite conscious awareness and unity of “ALL”. By utilizing
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A, life lesson, can be defined as something from which useful knowledge or principles for, personal growth, can be learned. When I was growing up my grandmother had a lot of these, life lessons, and principles. One of them was you can lead a horse to the water but you can’t make him drink! Today we are going to be talking about, Z-isms. If you don’t know what these are, download the audio.
Listen to the full episode here:
My guest today is Matt Zinman called a difference-maker, devoted to personally enrich the lives of at least 100 million people by 2025. His new book, “Z-isms: Insights to Live By” is based on his experiences as an entrepreneur, athlete, single parent, caregiver and nonprofit founder. Matt is also the host of “Insights to Live By,” a podcast that invites guests to share their own pearls of wisdom. In addition, Matt is CEO of The Internship Institute, which he established in 2007 to “Make Experience Matter.”
book Z-isms life lessons to live by
Introduction to Z-isms or life lessons
One of your, life lessons, is about, self-discovery, and mindset. So what are, Z-isms?
Matt – A, Z-ism, is a, life lesson, a filter in how it is that we experience the world around us. One of the which is, mood, health. I think everyone recognizes that pessimism and optimism apply to the very same set of circumstances. If you're having that kind of a down day you could just as well be seeing something differently than if you were having an up day; so recognizing where you are in your, mood, health at any given time is one filter.
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Another principle of, life lessons, is are you staying present or are you caught up in worry about the future. Maybe you're worrying about something that isn't certain to happen or you keep running something through your head that already happened that continues to just spiral and drag you down and change your, mood.
It's important to recognize that you are in the, present moment, and grounding yourself in, gratitude, is very key. Then there's perception itself and recognizing that you may not get it all right; but that is okay. We're not all the best listeners all the time we could be distracted.
Gratitude is the best life lesson for Personal Growth
Myrna – A lot a lot of people start their mornings with a, gratitude meditation, because if you have, gratitude, for the smallest number of things then it is good. It doesn't have to be that your dream job or dream relationship is happening. We all have goals and we all have dreams. You might be depressed because you're not where you want to be in life; but if you can just be, grateful, for what you have now, then you are enhancing your, personal growth.
Louise Hay has a, gratitude meditation, on YouTube that I do a few times per week.
It's really basic being, grateful, that you have electricity, that you have a stove that you can cook on, gratitude, that you have indoor plumbing! Etc. There's so many things that we can be, grateful, for.
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Matt – Your point about, gratitude, is so spot-on right we hear about it so much and there's a reason that, gratitude, works. It's really at that heart of life enrichment. It is the premier, life lesson.
If you do that, gratitude meditation, for just two minutes in the morning and before bed, for 30 days straight, I guarantee it will change your life.
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Myrna – Let’s talk about, spiders. One of your unusual topics in your book involves being aware of, spiders. You describe, spiders, as people who manipulate and drain others. Why did you call them, spiders, because I call those people leeches. They suck you, what does, spiders, have to do with draining you? Tell me the concept there?
Matt – Spiders, do have quite a bite. If you really take inventory of the people who were in your orbit, it's pretty easy to go down that list and recognize that person we choose to be vulnerable with. We don't want to put energy into always having to be on guard.
It takes a lot more energy to be devious than it does to be oblivious. For the, spider, they must remember their lies. When you're living the life of a manipulator or devious person, it doesn't come naturally you've got to plan it out.
You really need to tune into your Spidey senses to recognize that someone is trying to get you to do something you prefer not to do; but they know you can’t say no. We talked about people pleasers. They are the perfect person for the, spider, to manipulate.
Myrna – So you call them, spiders, because they suck, they're devious and because they weave webs and set traps, understood.
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Matt – Spiders, are also energy vampires, very needy people who are always around wanting your time and energy.
You really need to take a closer look at that person and decide whether they belong in your inner circle. A, spider, is going to spin a web and set traps for you.
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What kind of, z-isms, or , life lessons, do you coach?
Matt – I usually start with teaching, self-kindness. It comes back to valuing yourself and if you value yourself first, the rest comes naturally. Relying on that guiding principle around, self-kindness, you just cannot go wrong.
Self-kindness, is the is the escape hatch when you are caught in the, spider, web. If you get yourself caught in a, spider, web and you're being manipulated, if think of yourself and think about the wars that you've won and you feel, gratitude, or all these things can power you to change the situation.
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Conclusion Z-isms Life Lessons
Myrna – What can readers get from the book after they've read it?
Matt – I want my readers to understand earned confidence and become aware of, spiders, and things around them
energy management,
entrepreneurship,
concepts around inevitability to a degree the law of attraction
and gratitude in life.
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We are the, author, of our lives. When we were born we had an beginning page and an end page. It is up to us to, author, and fill in the pages in-between. We are the, author, of the script, the director and the producer of our lives. Life by design, is what I teach as a, life coach. And I think that one of the first things that we can do is if we understand the power of self-amplifying feedback loops, the way our spaces influence our thinking and our thinking in turn influences our spaces. We could then control what happens to us by exercising creative control over the circumstances that we throw ourselves into.
There's always going to be the wild card. There's always going to be the circumstances you can't plan for; but, life by design, is the concept that we can use our thoughts and the, law of attraction, to bring to us all that we desire. There's always the unexpected relevance and the, serendipity. But just like that book The Power of Pull talks about, we can funnel the, serendipity, or we can channel the, serendipity, funnel. We can help engender and engineer serendipity by the choices that we make every moment, and live a, life by design.
We all have experienced the, serendipity, of relevant information arriving just when we were least expecting it.
It was only through pure, serendipity, that I met my best friend!
Your chances of finding such a feature are down to either extremely assiduous trawling or mere, serendipity.
So by cultivating rich social networks, by cultivating weak ties, not just closed ties but the weak ties, by becoming connectors and by connecting others so that they connect us, we create a world in which these self-amplifying feedback loops feed on top of each other. So good circumstances lead to other good circumstances which lead to other good circumstances and each one of them encourages us to then live more openly and participate in that sort of creative flow space. Live a, life by design.
Be the, author, of your own self-help book, I just really believe that our creative choices ultimately shape who we become and so we should all be discerning and be radically open whenever possible and I think that we really can make a masterpiece out of our own lives if we so choose. But that requires, it requires a boldness of character as well, because seeing the radical freedom to live a, life by design. We have to compose our lives, what Leary called internal freedom.
The vertigo of freedom, this dizzying – what do I do? I can do anything? Well, the paradox of too much choice. But I think we can embrace that with courage and with boldness, and once we do, there's nothing we can't do but, author, the life we want.
Author of our Own Lives
As the, author, of our own lives we can begin by taking control of our own lives. This requires recognizing that while family or social circumstances influence our character, they do not determine it absolutely. The same is true of the most basic instincts that come from our heredity and bodily constitution. These instinctive ways of acting can be molded and guided by the exercise of a will that heeds the dictates of a well-formed reason.
Our personality is forged to the extent that we make free decisions, since our actions not only alter our environment but also shape our way of being. Although at times we aren’t fully aware of it, the repetition of acts leads us to acquire particular customs or attitudes in facing reality. Therefore when we explain the reason for our spontaneous reactions, rather than saying “that’s the way I am,” we should often admit: “that’s the way I have made myself.”
Our lives are conditioned by factors that are often difficult to control: for example, the quality of family relationships, the social environment in which we grow up, an illness that limits us in one way or another, etc. Although often we are unable to ignore or undo these limitations, we can certainly change our attitude in confronting them, especially if we are aware that nothing escapes God’s provident care. “It is important to keep reminding ourselves that Jesus did not address himself to a privileged set of people; he came to reveal the universal love of God to us. God loves all mankind, and he wants all to love him. God is also the, author, and finisher of our lives. In any situation, even one that entails great limitations, we can offer God and our neighbors deeds of love, no matter how small these may seem. Who knows how great the value is of a smile in the midst of tribulation, of suffering offered to our Lord in union with the Cross, of patiently accepting small annoyances and setbacks! Nothing can quench a limitless love, a love stronger than suffering, loneliness, abandonment, betrayal, slander, physical and moral suffering, and even death itself.
Does serving a, prison, sentence change your outlook in life? Rocky Singh Kandola talks to us today on the subjects of, rape, child abuse, prison, physical assault, and more.
Listen to the full interview here:
Rocky Singh Kandola is a 33 year old successful Indian businessman born in New York City and currently living in Los Angeles. Rocky owns a showroom in a high traffic area in the downtown area of Los Angeles. He says “I am both a felon and a Philosophy Graduate” Rocky spent his “high school” life in 9 different facilities and, boot camps, around the world, some of which are now closed due to severe, child abuse, rape, and torture. He have almost died at least 8 times. Half of his face and jaw are fake from an attempted murder on his life. He’s been shot, stabbed, kidnapped, and kicked in the face resulting in over 20 major surgeries in his adult life.
How did Rocky end up in Prison
Myrna – Can you tell us your story of what led to you being, incarcerated.
Rocky – I spent a lot of time in different facilities and, boot camps, across the world at a young age. My father was a very traditional Indian parent. Indian kids were supposed to stay home, study and get straight A’s. I was not that kid, I was a lot more outspoken. I was wild and carefree. I wanted to be out and about and party with friends so me and my father bumped heads often.
I was sent to my first worldwide association of specialty program, boot camp, at age 15. Paris Hilton recently shed a lot of light on these, child abuse, boots camps, in her documentary.
Myrna – Oh my gosh, I saw her documentary.
Rocky – I went to one of the, boot camps, that were outside of the U.S, this one was in Mexico. Keep in mind these are for-profit businesses that operate in very manipulative ways towards the parents as well as towards the children in order to further their business.
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My parents didn't really know about the trauma the, child abuse, the, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or the, mental abuse, that was going on at these, boot camps. They would tell the parents your kids are going to manipulate you. They're going to lie to you, don't listen to them. Our communication was controlled, we weren't allowed to write or talk call home.
These, group homes, boot camps, very regimented. As soon as you walked in, your hair is shaved, you're sleeping on the ground for 10 days, you're screamed at, or you're beaten, and yelled at. Forced to lay in positions on your stomach with your chin on the ground and your hands and feet tied behind your back for hours.
You're forced to wake up at 2 am o'clock in the middle of the night and go outside and stand in the rain and count the rain. These, group homes, boot camps, did all kinds of cruel mental games to brainwash and break a child. It's not hard to break a child especially at that age.
I learned to adapt and to work the system and I used that knowledge when I was in, prison. I would go into these, group homes, boot camps, every six months of my life, then go home, raise hell and be sent to another, group home, 6 months later.
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Did life in these book camps train you for Prison?
Myrna – What did you get arrested for and sent to, prison?
Rocky – The, prison, thing came about because I was selling drugs and doing everything from robbing, stealing, breaking into cars. I started getting into heavier drugs until the federal government and the state local police set up a sting operation. This task force followed me around for quite a bit of time and got me to sell narcotics to an undercover agent.
I was arrested and charged with distribution. I was sentenced to seven to nine years in, prison.
Prison, was very scary place; but after a few months, I got out I kind of got back in the same lifestyle. I'm not really the type person you can scare or punish into changing.
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Myrna – You were in, prison, I think you said for seven or eight years and then you said that when you came out of, prison, you went back into the same lifestyle. What you think, prison, did for you if anything?
Rocky – I was in prison for about two years, in jail for a year then rehab for another year.
I learned so much in, prison. There's people going to, prison, with different attitudes, different crimes. I went in there as an adaptable chameleon. I've been institutionalized since I was 11, so I knew it was gonna be another institution. I knew there were certain things I had to learn like how to navigate between judges and counselors and convicts and inmates.
I didn't really have any troubles, I had a pretty decent level of respect for, prison. People were curious about me, why was I in prison in Alabama? What was this Indian kid doing in a, prison, in Alabama?
On top of that I spoke Spanish and I played basketball, so it was very easy to transfer between a lot of race wars in an Alabama, prison. It was easy to go between White and Black and Mexican inmates.
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I quickly developed a sense of wanting to help, so I started writing motions for people in, prison. Most inmates didn’t know how to read and write. But in spite of wanting to help and do good, I quickly got back into selling drugs in, prison.
Myrna – How do you sell drugs in, prison?
Rocky – There are certain areas in, prison, you meet someone that's for lack of a better term gay and they're happy putting substances inside of their butt area and they would sneak in drugs for you. They would then clean it out, put it in a certain area, tell you where it is and you go pick it up. I then go bag it up and then redistribute it.
It's a whole different world inside, prisons. I am smiling now but looking back it was nerve-wracking and very scary, because if you get caught, you're in big trouble. Outside of that I liked the time I had to myself in, prison. I read books and journal and make a plan for my life.
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When you take your time while you're in, prison, to really set goals and set a future up for yourself, when you get out of, prison, you're already a step ahead versus the person who just
closed their eyes and did their time in, prison.
It's such an important thing planning and preparing and framing your mind for when you leave, prison. I've learned in my life from, sexual abuse, physical abuse, in , boot camps, and being beaten in, jail.
Myrna – You have to change your mindset, that is why this the show is called the Transform your Mind podcast. The system feels that when they, incarcerate, people, they felt punishing them by sending them to, prison, or, jail, for a couple of years that they will reform them and change behaviors. But like you said you can go to, prison, and get worse because drugs are still selling in, prison.
You send someone in there who’s innocent and they come out worse than when they went in, or you can go to, prison, and you can get your GED. Some go to, prison, and had such a horrible time in there that they vow never to go back to, prison.
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Statistics of repeat offenders Recidivism to prison
Myrna – What is the statistics of how many people reform from being sent to, prison, and the percentage of those who are repeat offenders?
Rocky – I believe our, recidivism, rate in America is close to 70 percent. I went back to, jail, twice after my release from, prison, twice for about a month. The system to be truthful is
almost designed for, recidivism, to make you mess up, so you can go right back to, prison, and serve more time.
Myrna- I would say that you were lucky that your father sent you to India and you used that opportunity to start your hair business. Tell us about your business.
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Rocky – I started my business plan from , prison. Then when I was in India after I left, prison, I had time to meet manufacturers, go to the small markets where they're selling hair and really do a lot of research. Everything happens for a reason. I never thought I’d be in India after, prison. While I was there and everything started falling into place. Within a week I had the name for my business, paid for the domain and then made a Facebook post. I had the ability to learn from an Indian perspective about the manufacturing side before I learned about marketing in the U.S.
Myrna – How can listeners contact you and support your business?
You will find links there to all my past podcast episodes. You’ll have all the businesses that I currently run, from my hair company, to my Tea company, to my vacation rental property company in Florida.
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Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true. What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.
Listen to full interview here:
For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.
Introduction Core Beliefs
Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.
The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.
Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:
“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it's costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”
We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:
How we feel love,
our self-worth,
how we feel security, and
fulfillment.
Life after death.
Your, core beliefs, can't be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal.
Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs
A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:
I am loving and lovable.
I am worthy.
I am safe and trusting.
I am fulfilled and whole.
The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief. Therefore, the rules that apply to the, Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.
Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith Without Works Is Dead”.
Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief?
If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away. Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.
Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world. Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!
As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief, For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!
Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept
Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.
For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.
This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.
In the world of, Quantum physics, it was discovered that matter can be both a particle and a wave. That everything exists in the wave format, infinite possibility, until it is observed. So to live in, infinite possibility, is to know that you have a, vortex, of un-manifested possibility waiting to become your reality.
In this episode Life coach Myrna Young teaches on living in the state of, infinite possibility. Quantum physics, tells us that until something is observed, it is in the form on the infinite.
Listen to the full interview here:
Introduction
Observation turns the wave, infinite possibility, into a particle.
Let me explain: when we are born we have, infinite possibilities. We were all born with a purpose and the talent to fulfill that purpose. God said
“ I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
But God also gave us free will, which means that we got to choose which road we wanted to take in life. Either towards our purpose or away from it.
As a kid we dreamed big, we lived in the state of, infinite possibility, We wanted to become doctors and lawyers, firemen and policemen, scientists and movie stars. Our future was a wave full of, infinite possibility. Them someone told us, we were not good at math, so we could never become a doctor or a scientist; because you have to be good at math to become a doctor, so that un-manifested possibility that was in your, vortex, is no longer.
The wave, infinite possibility, is now observed and has become a particle. Regardless if that statement is true or not, it is now your reality, because perception is reality. You now no longer want to be a doctor or scientist; but think about maybe becoming a nurse or Art teacher because you don't need to know math.
I once interviewed Ilona Selke the author of the book “Dream Big, the Universe is listening”. She writes whatever you set your intention to, the universe conspires to bring it to you. That is called the Law of Attraction. If you missed that episode Download that episode now on iTunes now, or any of the podcast players.
I love Dr Martin Luther King Jr. and his I have a dream speech. As a pastor and man of God, Dr King lived in the, infinite possibility, that this country would treat a man based on his character, and not the color of his skin. That possibility still exists today but it is still un-manifested in our, vortex.
So in this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to remind you that You are the Universe apply the Law of Divine Oneness to your Life. You are made up of the same matter as the stars and the Ether. You are an infinite being with, infinite possibilities,. Do not limit yourself, because as soon as you make that observation, you become limited to what your flesh could do.
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As James Allen said, As a man thinketh so is he. You become what you think about, so think as a wave and embrace the, infinite possibilities, of your life.
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Are you on a quest to, find your purpose? It is the only way to find fulfillment and the secret to happiness. Dr. Ken Keis shares six holistic approaches or benchmarks in your quest for, purpose.
Intro to our topic:
Dr. Ken Keis, is a highly sought-after author, speaker, trainer, podcast host, and TV and media guest. His latest books include: Why Aren't You More Like Me?, Deliberate Leadership, and The Quest For Purpose.
A story on how to find your purpose
So many people listening have been trapped down a pathway that was really sort of conditioned from their background. I woke one morning and asked myself if this was what I wanted to be doing in 20 years from now, and the answer was no. So, I immediately took action. I decided to quit farming and hired a coach to help me figure out what I wanted to do in life. My, quest to, find my purpose, began. What was my purpose in life? The answer, to help others to live, lead and work on purpose. This is the question to, find your purpose.
My coach passed away from cancer many years ago now, and I just took his process and then added and enhanced it. Basically it was a self-discovery narrative and an interactive sort of process to, find your purpose.
What are the six Holistic approaches to, find your purpose?
A lot of times what happens people don't realize their, purpose, because the question is too big. It's overwhelming and what we're trying to do here is get people to fine tune all the components of their life to go to the next level.
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So let's go through these benchmarks to, find your purpose.
1. First Benchmark is, Personal Style, CRG is an assessment company. In our quest to, find your purpose, one of our assessments is called “the personal style indicator.” We believe that we are all born with a certain Personal style. Not right not wrong and we develop and we change and we mature in life but our personal style never changes. Myrna is the same Myrna from 10 years ago. In other words Myrna can wake up in the morning and still count on Myrna being Myrna.
2. Biophysical Influences, like Health concerns, physical and mental disabilities. The statistics of North American health is that 75 to 80 percent of people are unwell at some level and another 50 percent are diabetic or pre-diabetic. So there's no way if I am thinking of, finding my purpose, if I'm sick. I don't have energy, I have chronic fatigue syndrome, I have immunity disorder or whatever is going on. 90 to 95 percent of all illness is lifestyle related. In my quest to, find my purpose, I need to take my body and treat it well. If I have a racehorse and I don't take care of that racehorse and then try to have it win the Kentucky Derby, it’s not going to happen.
3. Self-worth – What you think of yourself. We have another assessment called “the self-worth inventory” to, find your purpose, our confidence levels highly influence the decisions we make or not make. So maybe you actually have an idea of your, purpose, but you don't have the courage to step into it.
4. Environmental systems – Schools , workplace, culture. We are a product of our environment. If I grew up in Florida versus LA or New York, Toronto or Vancouver versus Afghanistan, I'm going to have a different perspective on life and possibly a different path to, find my purpose.
5. Social Teachers – Parents, teachers, pastors As a kid you you very curious. You watched how your parents interacted, they're teaching you how to treat others. The songs you listened to there's now linkage towards violence and video games. In your quest to, find your purpose, be aware of what you’re letting in, who you’re working with, who are nurturing your personal relationships.
6. Emotional Anchors or triggers – Divorce, physical and verbal abuse, death of a loved one are all triggers. Any kind of event in life that causes either positive or negative associations becomes a trigger. Every single person listening or reading has triggers. You had an event in life that creates an emotional response. This goes back to a trigger that has been anchored, in many cases these triggers are subconscious. In your quest to, find your purpose, you don't realize your, purpose, because you’re angry. You can also have unforgiveness. You have not really released yourself of this traumatic event. I had my girlfriend when I was 21 years old murdered by a friend of mine. If I didn’t let go of that event from 1982, it would affect me forever.
7. Spirituality, – This is a bonus because it covers everything. We are spiritual beings have a human experience. All of these seven benchmarks, come together to develop the whole person. They are essential in our quest to, find your purpose. That's why developing all these areas is critic to finding your, life purpose.
Spirituality, is also consciously spending time developing yourself. It is a fact that you create your world. Most of us believe that we are product of circumstances; but if you believe that you actually can design and create your world, that's what you will create. So yes, spirituality, the spiritual part of you is very important to, finding your purpose.
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Very powerful conversation with Dr. Ken Keis. Dr Keis is the author of “The Quest for Purpose” A self-discovery process to find it and live it!
To listen to the full episode, download on iTunes, Google play, Sticher, TuneIn radio, iHeart radio.
To quickly summarize, Dr. Keis gave us seven personality development models called benchmarks, that can help you in your quest to, find your purpose, we talked about personality style, we talked about wellness and stress and how it affects how you show up in life, we talked about, self-worth and self-confidence. How that affects what you go after. We talked about the, environmental systems, where you were born and what your parents expect you to become. We talked about, social teachers, the news and our, emotional triggers. If something bad happened to you a lot of times, people can't get over it. This event hijacks them and it controls most of their thinking.
We talked about, spirituality, which is all-encompassing because we are spiritual beings and what we believe, has one of the most predominant effects in your quest to, find your purpose.
As a Business Coach, I kept getting clients who kept hitting a plateau with, business strategy. They hired experts to help them figure out the right business model, to surpass this plateau or ceiling; but they kept hitting this ceiling, nothing was working. It reminded me of my own, capacity, issue.~~~Lisa Fabrega
In this interview I speak with to Lisa Fabrega, leadership coach on the topic It's not your, business strategy, it's your, capacity.
Listen to Full Interview
Introduction to Capacity
Myrna – What I love about this topic is references one of my favorite quotes
You are the Lid! You can only go as far as your, capacity, for growth.
So the headline It's not your, business strategy, it is your, capacity, for growth resonates with me.
Lisa as a Business coach, How did you stumble on the concept that what's was holding your clients back was not their, business strategy, or goals but their, capacity?
Lisa – Great question I stumbled upon this concept very early on in my coaching practice.
I was actually was a health coach working with clients on nutrition. I noticed from my first couple of clients weren't talking about food, instead it was their, capacity, was the focus.
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My clients were very ambitious and had already achieved a lot and yet they were hitting a plateau or something wasn't working anymore. They couldn't figure out what it was even though they were very smart people, so they'd throw a bunch of, business strategy, at the problem.
When, business strategy, didn’t work, they would hire experts to figure out the right business model, to surpass this plateau or ceiling. But they kept hitting this ceiling, nothing was working. It reminded me of my own, capacity, issue.
Four years ago I had a, capacity, issue. My coaching packages were sold out, I had a huge wait list. I was overwhelmed with requests and I didn't have the, capacity, for it at the time. One thing I always say to my clients is if Oprah called you tomorrow, are you ready? Do you have the, capacity, to handle that influx of new business?
I thought this must be a, business strategy, problem instead of diagnosing it correctly that I had a, capacity, issue. I couldn't hold handle or receive what was coming my way on many levels, so I went and invested a ton of money in a new, business strategy, and a funnel and I ended up a hundred thousand dollars in debt.
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Myrna – I would make the same decision. I immediately would think I needed to add more staff or something that's probably what you did right?
Lisa – I added more staff, I hired a huge expansion team, I started a whole new funnel! It was the most stressful year of my life because I did not sleep that entire year. I was so stressed out about the money and the debt.
After doing some real deep self-reflection about what actually caused that problem, I started to noticing my conversations with my clients who also had, business strategy, issues. I realized that It was not a, business strategy, issue but a, capacity, issue.
Myrna – Obviously you need, business strategy; but you also need the, capacity, to get there; so how did you transition your clients to look at their, capacity, not their, business strategy?
Lisa – I realized that there are six areas of, capacity. I drilled it down to six because everything kind of falls under these, capacity, areas that we tend to struggle with as ambitious and successful people.
Money capacity – What’s your, money capacity? Score yourself from zero to ten. Are you earning enough, saving and investing larger and larger amounts of money every year? If you answered No, then ask yourself why not?
Visibility capacity – visibility capacity is your ability to allow all of you to be fully seen in your work. So many people hide little bits of themselves from their brand and from their clients and then end up with a misalignment. A lot of my women clients who come to me and tell me they're drained, it's not that they're overworked or have the wrong, business strategy; the burnout is not because of that, it's because they're hiding these parts of themselves and it's so exhausting to have to constantly hide and not be transparent.
Purpose capacity – purpose capacity is when your inside matches your outside. Your, business strategy, is lined up with your true purpose. You can’t start a business just because it has the potential to make you lots of money. Your business must also line up with your values and purpose.
Embodiment capacity – embodiment capacity is your emotional, spiritual, mental and physical capacity. If you were to get up on a stage in front of a thousand people and it drains the life force out of you to the point that you're exhausted and have to recover for two days, you have an, embodiment capacity, issue. If somebody leaves a nasty comment on your Instagram post and you are just like freaked out and hiding for two weeks, you have an, embodiment capacity, issue.
Structural capacity – I call this also your foundation capacity. What are the foundations that are holding you up or lifting you up to your next level? What systems or, business strategy, do you have at home, or at work to hold you up?
Boundary capacity – boundary capacity is about being clear about who you are. It's not just boundaries with other people, it's boundaries with yourself; because sure you could work 10 hours today but is actually going to serve where you're going? Should you instead get some rest? That's setting a boundary with yourself.
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How to Expand your Capacity: your New Business Strategy
Myrna – What can women do to expand their capacity for growth, wealth and success?
Lisa – It starts with knowing how they score on the six capacities.
It will tell you what the real problem is because the biggest roadblock we experience when trying to expand our, capacity, is that we misdiagnose the actual problem.
If women don't get clear and score themselves in these areas, they might think they have a structural issue or a strategic issue and don't realize that it’s actually a, money capacity.
Why does our energy level affect our Capacity
Myrna – One of the things I wanted to ask you about is this, embodiment capacity. You said we can subconsciously drain our energy and power thus lowering our, capacity; explain that a little.
Lisa – I think that some of the ways that we unconsciously drain our power is through what I call emotional labor. Women particularly do this a lot and that's actually part of an, embodiment capacity, issue. I have a great example. One of my clients told her husband would ask her every week after she would put the towels away, where's the such-and-such towel and she'd say “it's in the closet with the towels” and he would say. “I don't see it” and she'd have to walk over to the closet and the towel would be right there.
This went on every week until she told him she was not doing any more emotional labor, that he can find the damm towel himself, she was no longer going to get up from what she was doing to find the towel for him.
This is a great example of tiny ways that we do emotional labor without realizing that we are being drained. These little leaks, I call them little power leaks leave you exhausted. You wonder why you're exhausted and burned out and it has nothing to do with your, business strategy, we have to be mindful of our energy. It’s being drained from emotional labor with our family, friends and even clients.
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Myrna – So true, women especially the care-giving kind of woman are always doing things for other people and then they emotionally drain themselves and then they don't have the energy to do anything for some themselves which is why the self-care movement is becoming so popular.
If you're emotionally drained, it limits your, capacity, we can't operate within our full capacity if our battery is drained.
Four keys to unlock Capacity: Your New Business Strategy
Pleasure – pleasure can be whatever it means to you, it could be taking a walk in the park, it could be taking a break, getting in the tub, getting some nice smelling lotion and rubbing it on your hands. Making sure to have those pleasure breaks because it’s like refueling your tank. Allow your, business strategy, to be your best self.
Eat Whole Foods – According to Ayurveda, it is very important to eat foods that are natural and pure for their full benefit to be absorbed by the body. When foods are as close to their state in nature as possible, that's when they deliver the most potent nutrition. Foods that have been genetically altered, processed or refined have much of their natural intelligence stripped from them, disturb the intellect and the coordination and lowers our, capacity .
Manage stress levels – We live in difficult times. Stress and anxiety, whether caused by time pressures or difficult work relationships, stress can have a significant negative impact on mental performance. A calm mind, serene and centered in its equilibrium, is unquestionably superior in terms of focus, attention span, retention of knowledge and problem-solving ability. It is important to manage stress before it becomes a severe problem, because stress has been known to damage or destroy brain cells, and many prescription pills for anxiety can have side effects that can further erode mental performance and, capacity. a new, business strategy, manage your stress.
Get adequate, quality sleep – Related to stress is the other plague of modern society — lack of deep, restful sleep. With diet and lifestyle, sleep is a fundamental pillar of increasing your, capacity. Optimal physical and mental performance is impossible if sleep is not addressed. Getting eight hours of sleep is less important than striving for quality sleep, which occurs when the mind is totally disconnected from the senses. Quality sleep recharges and rejuvenates the mind, improving both short-term and long-term mental prowess as well as your, capacity for growth.
Myrna – I understand that you have a capacity in crisis virtual workshop.
Lisa – First of all I have an amazing free gift for your listeners. To get your Free Gift head over to my website at www.lisafabrega.com.
You can also sign up for my newsletter it’s actually an entire video series that I call the, capacity conversations. It's like binging on Netflix except you get to binge and expand your, capacity, instead of numbing your mind.
You get a series of free videos that walk you through all the capacities and help you diagnose what your capacity issue might be holding you back.
Myrna – I want to introduce a contest this week. The prize is a gift card from one of our sponsors hbnaturals.com. One of you lucky listeners will get this $25 gift card for subscribing to either the Transform Your Mind iTunes podcast or subscribing to the Transform Your Mind podcast Youtube channel. Once you subscribe send me an email to [email protected] with your contact information and if you are the winner, you will get this gift card to purchase any of the products on hbnatures.com coffee, skincare products, tea, CBD oil, super-foods, essential oils, pet products and more.
I want to invite you all to join my private Facebook group called life coach, this group has lots of life coaches giving daily inspiration and tips to live your best like now.
The foundation to getting, back to basics, is fulfillment. People don’t just want income, they want impact and they want freedom. People searching for, fulfillment, are often buying the cultural lie which is you'll find, fulfillment, through income. Hidden in that lie is this idea that, fulfillment, lies somewhere in money.
Listen to the full interview
TJ Loeffler shares tips and strategies on the topic Successful but Unfulfilled, getting Back to Basics. TJ is a best-selling author of the new book “Getting Back to Basics”
This interview on the Transform your Mind podcast covers the fundamentals of living your life the way that you purposed it. How to live your best life now with some simple little tweaks by getting, back to basics.
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Introduction to Getting, Back to Basics
TJ Loeffler is a founder, speaker, coach and advisor. After a personal awakening and a decade long journey of life transformation he now uses his gifts in speaking and coaching to share
Lessons from his story. TJ’s personal mission is to help people be free, get healthy and stay wealthy. Not just financially but spiritually by getting, back to basics.
TJ Loeffler – the first thing that I’ll say about Jesus being at the center of my transformation and
the change in my life is one of the things I heard
God makes the trees and we make the tables.
It's a very powerful way to think about God's role in our lives and more importantly our role in his life. What I mean by that is he provides and it's up to us to meet our potential, so if he has the promise, we have the potential. I give God the credit and specifically Jesus for the revelation.
Successful but Unfulfilled – Getting Back to Basics
The changes that have happened in my life are really stemming from a change that happened in my heart. I was successful but unfulfilled working at Goldman Sachs, a well-known investment bank. I was on the trading floor on wall street making a great income but I was unfulfilled.
You see I had been driven my whole life to perform and achieve, because I had low self-esteem.
I had low self-esteem, because I had a subconscious belief that I was abandoned or neglected at birth. I was adopted.
I had never really come to the place where I had accepted my own story, because I had never really gone through the process of healing. My relationship with God allowed me to release the feeling of low self-worth and embrace my life.
Everything hit me in terms of the understanding who you are when my father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and the supernatural started speaking into my life.
After facing a lot of adversity, I started coaching to help others and my company Loeffler international was founded.
Getting Back to Basics
Are Overachievers Unfulfilled?
Myrna – That's awesome why do you think that some overachievers are still unfulfilled?
In my coaching experience I found that there was a lot of overachievers who are making money, they're successful in their marriages, they've got a couple of boxes that they can check; but they still this emptiness inside.
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How Getting, Back to Basics can help you become fulfilled.
TJ Loeffler – it's a great question and I'm going to make this super practical and it does relate to, back to basics, the book that is coming out this summer.
The foundation to getting, back to basics, is fulfillment. People don’t just want income, they want impact and they want freedom. People searching for, fulfillment, are often buying the cultural lie which is you'll find, fulfillment, through income. Hidden in that lie is this idea that fulfillment lies somewhere in money.
But then people who start making money realize wait I need to do something meaningful with my life, so then they start a non-profit or do something to make an impact on the world. Then they realize that they can’t help everybody in the world.
Then they realize wait I need inner freedom and finances don't bring me freedom! Money just magnifies the state you're already in. If you're a sad person, money can make you extra sad. So getting, back to basics looks at your inner world.
• Forgiveness – forgiveness sets us free. There's a lot of people who follow Jesus; but haven't had the revelation of Jesus in their heart, which is full freedom. In other words they still live hanging on to the weight of their past and that's not living in freedom that's living in self-condemnation.
• Health – there are a lot of really spiritual people who are functionally unhealthy and so underneath all that income still, unfulfilled. They can be making an impact; but if they're not healthy no, fulfillment.
Does Money equal Fulfillment?
Myrna – I want to circle back to one of the most poignant things you said. People think that income equals, fulfillment. That is such a lie and it's really sad to see the, unfulfilled, people with lots of money like the stars who have millions of dollars and all the fans and then they realize that all that doesn't make them, fulfilled.
TJ Loeffler – One thing I would add is getting, back to basics, means that when you think about money the gift is with the giver and so generosity is one of the tools to greater joy; but generosity can also be an outpouring of guilt. So if you don't have gratitude in your heart and you feel guilty for privilege and money, then you are back to being, unfulfilled.
Myrna – In your book, back to basics, you talk about the idea of having the right foundation for,
Fulfillment. What is that foundation?
What's the core of, Back to Basics
TJ Loeffler – At the core of, Back to Basics, is this idea of the foundation to, fulfillment.
We were talking about health being the foundation layer in getting, back to basics, because
people that I've experienced this in my own life have gone through a health transformation including myself. You can't end burnout of 10 years with poor lifestyle choices in 24 hours.
People want to have conversation with our coaching team to find out what truly makes them happy and how to get, back to basics, without changing their mindset.
The foundation to, fulfillment, is to overcome indecision and paralysis from analysis and anxiety. There are functional changes you need to make in your life, not just the mindset shifts which are
Core. Just like your philosophy, transform your mind, to, transform your life, we believe that mindset comes before strategy or tactics.
If you have pressures in your life and you're not taking care of your body, I don't care how you
Look visually, it's going to affect you mentally, emotionally spiritually. It's going to affect you and all these areas of life.
Getting, back to basics, is as simple as starting your day with lemon water. You have to start your day hydrating your body and specifically with lemon water because your body is
Detoxifying.
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There are six Core Pillars to getting, Back to Basics.
Myrna – is that your foundation to getting, back to basics?
TJ Loeffler – there are six core pillars to the foundation. When we think about health we break it up into these six things:
• Diet
• Sleep
• Movement
• Active rest
• Reflection and
• Connection
These six pillars are how I grew my business. These six things are also how I changed my life functionally. There were things that I was facing in my life, a lot of difficulty. I believe some of it was spiritual, some of it was really practical. I was burned out, so I hadn't changed my mindset around productivity, around balance, around energy, I wouldn’t have found the recipe for getting, back to basics.
Pride comes before the fall and I definitely fell. I felt my pride took me to fall several times.
If God makes the trees and we make the tables, the tree is the body. He made this body.
I'm a spiritual being in this body. Our body keeps the score and we're losing. Our body is telling us we have to look at ourselves and say I've neglected nutrition in my life.
I have to start thinking not diet; but my relationship with food and how my body processes the food. If i don't have active rest in my life then I'm in constant sympathetic tone or fight or flight or free state and then my body diverts all the blood away from my digestive system. Now I can't process the kale and salmon that I'm eating all the time and I think I'm healthy; but the reality is I'm in constant state of chronic stress or anxiety, so my body doesn't process the nutrition I an eating.
How does Active Rest take us, Back to Basics?
Myrna – Is active rest Meditation?
TJ Loeffler – meditation is one leg of active rest. Here's the key with meditation. You can empty
Yourself; but are you filling yourself with the right things? Otherwise you're just walking around with an empty bin.
Active rest is really about helping your body move from sympathetic tone to what's called parasympathetic tone. I think of it like a light dimmer not a light switch.
People are walking about their day being triggered by trauma that happened in their life and not even knowing that they're being triggered. How many people are aware that they're in a chronic state of fight or flight? How many people are aware of that and so recognize shallow mouth breathing as stress? All this is part of getting, back to basics.
Myrna – all the foundational things you're talking about are things that I know that people can actually use to become better themselves and when they become better themselves, then everything else on the exterior becomes better. So, back to basics, it's basic a perfect book.
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How can these Core Pillars help Overachievers have, Fulfillment?
Back to Basics, is a collection of the six core pillars.
Everything you do it starts as a discipline before it becomes a desire; but the reality is you can really start to enjoy your life when you when you like the way you look, when you like the way you feel. You start realizing it’s probably all the good choices that I've been making to engage with my body in a different way that is making me feel good.
I check my relationship with food
Analyse my relationship with sleep
What people are really looking for is, fulfillment, in life, in other words they have made an
agreement that work will provide, fulfillment. I spoke with a client yesterday, who said, I need a new career. I don't have a career that gives me, fulfillment, and I said a career is not where you find, fulfillment. It may be a contributor but it can’t give you, fulfillment.
Myrna – I agree change starts with you, it's within your power.
How to Change your Life Right Now by Getting, Back to Basics
What's one of the first and most important things someone can do to begin changing their life right now?
A lot of people want to put things off until they've checked this box or they get married or got this new job. They always put off happiness; but we know as coaches that anything that you want to do, this is the right time. Now is the right time so what can somebody do right now to begin changing their lives?
TJ Loeffler – Besides lemon water every morning which is recommended in the book, back to basics, do things that make you feel and look better. They can also hire a coach. Coaches can help people to find, fulfillment, within. I found is coaches really accelerate the process and the good ones are going to be able to hold a mirror up to you.
They're going to be able to help you see something differently in order to make practical change in your life. But I can hold a mirror but if you're not willing to let go and let God in, if you're not willing to give permission, if you're still trying to hold on and have control over every area of your life, including your own perception.
If you want to hold on to the pain of your past, if you want to hold on to the things that have happened to you that you are still the victim, it's really going to be hard to make changes. I don't care how many coaches you hire, you won’t find, fulfillment. You have got to do the work.
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The first part of the book, Back to Basics, is really about helping people be open. If you're not open, if your mind's not open, your heart's not open. Your mind is a reflection of your heart.
Myrna – How can listeners connect with you and order a copy of your book, Back to Basics?
They can order from my website corepillers.com.
We do have a boot camp. We do have health coaching, VIP days and a number of other options for people. If you're at a place in your life where you're really looking to make a change and
that's our prerequisite, we're looking for people who are resourceful, teachable and ready for
change NOW. Not six months from now.
Here are the links to TJ site
Website Site: tjloeffler.com
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