In this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna I want to teach on the, rules of the mind. As humans we are body, mind, and spirit and each one of these entities comes with principles that govern them. The, mind, is the software that controls the body. It is the faculty that is used in imagination, and thought. The phrase you are what you think about most of the time shows how powerful the mind is.
The first, rule of the mind, is language. You can talk to the, mind, using, positive affirmations, and direct the, subconscious mind, to believe what you are saying.
For example, if you are becoming forgetful you can talk to the, mind, with this, affirmation, “I will remember everything I read, I will be like Google, whenever my brain asks me for information my, mind, will go immediately and retrieve that information from the server and answer the question. I will have total recall”
You say this, affirmation, daily until your brain has total recall.
Here are some positive affirmations: I am affirmations
I am love. I am purpose. I am the Universe
I am worthy of what I desire
I can. I will. End of story
I am adventurous. I overcome fears by following my dreams
I feed my spirit. I train my body. I focus my mind.
I am in charge of my life, I am the captain of my ship.
The, subconscious mind, responds to all thoughts real or imagined. If you fear flying or going into an MRI machine, instead of telling yourself that flying is a death trap or that the MRI machine feels like a coffin, tell your, subconscious mind, that you love the time to yourself in the MRI machine.
Then when you are in the MRI machine, imagine you are on a beach and the clouds are dark because it is about to storm and you so love the storm. Thoughts like these allow you to not think the MRI machine is your coffin, but it is like spending time to yourself on a vacation.
Positive thinking, doesn't mean that you ignore life's less pleasant situations. Positive thinking, just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.
Positive thinking, often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information or expectations due to preconceived ideas of what may happen.
If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you're likely an optimist — someone who practices, positive thinking.
The, subconscious mind, responds to feelings not logic. Kids in an orphanage would cry at the end of meals when their plates were taken away because in the past whenever they had a meal, they were not sure when they would get the next meal, and even though they now get 3 meals a day, they still cry when the plate is taken away.
Their minds are still programmed to the feelings of hunger. Research shows that it takes about 2 years to reprogram the brain with new feelings of having all the food they need and that they will get 3 means per day every day. As a Foster mom I never understood this, I would have kids’ horde food, even though they were never hungry.
I was thinking logically. But the brain or mind is not logical. If you come across this scenario, one way to hack this illogical behavior is to put some nuts or snacks in their bag and tell them whenever they are hungry, they will always have something to eat.
For example, if you tell your mind that you are a horrible speaker and that you will get up on stage and draw a blank and not remember anything from your presentation, this will surely become a, self-fulfilling prophesy. You will get up on stage and draw a blank and not remember anything.
Instead tell your mind that you are an awesome speaker, you are the best and you know this work inside out and you will get up on stage and your higher self will take over and the words will just flow out. This is the, self-fulfilling prophesy, that you want the, subconscious mind, to produce.
There are two types of, self-fulfilling prophecies: Self-imposed prophecies occur when your own expectations influence your actions. Other-imposed prophecies occur when others’ expectations influence your behavior. All opinions you value can cause this prophecy.
5. If you prepare for the worst, you will manifest it.
Preparing for the worst, makes things worst. For example, a lot of women say they are not going to tell anyone they are pregnant, because they don’t want to feel embarrassed if they miscarry and then they, prepare for the worst, by checking every hour to see if they are spotting.
Never, prepare for the worst, because when you prepare for the worst, it has a way of showing up. Instead prepare to meet your child. Tell your child in the womb that he or she has a purpose and he or she will be born and fulfill that purpose. Tell him or her today your spine is forming, tomorrow your hands and feet will be formed and in 30 weeks you will be born completely healthy and perfect and I can’t wait to meet you.
When your brain is locked in disaster mode, it’s difficult to think with any kind of nuance. You become like one of those doomsday preppers living in fear.
Anxiety narrows your focus and does not allow you to enjoy your pregnancy. You lose the ability to let new facts inform your thinking, or to engage your curiosity about the many ways that things could get better.
6. The mind can’t distinguish between reality and fiction.
The way the brain processes information is fundamentally different when we perceive information from our senses compared to what is self-generated within the mind. What the brain receives from our senses is known as ‘afferent information’ and simply means, information travelling towards the brain.
The brain can self-generate or imagine what is currently happening and this is called an efference copy. When there is a conflict in information between afferent and efferent information, we experience a “surprise”.
So, start visualizing what you want. $50,000 in your bank account, a palatial mansion, a husband and 2 kids, whatever you desire. Tell your, subconscious mind, what you want and it will maneuver the universe and get it to you.
Thanks for tuning into 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna.
In, Bipolar Faith, Dr. Monica A Coleman openly talk about some very personal and intimate details that happened in her life as an evangelical minister. Such as living with, depression, and also being raped by a fellow minister. She shares how that experience effected her faith and why she was angry with God.
Monica A. Coleman is Professor of Africana Studies at the University of Delaware. She spent over ten years in graduate theological education at Claremont School of Theology and Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago. Answering her call to ministry at age 19, Dr. Coleman brings her experiences in evangelical Christianity, black church traditions, and indigenous spirituality to her discussions of religion.
Dr. Coleman is the author or editor of six books and several articles that focus on the role of faith in addressing critical social and philosophical issues. Her memoir Bipolar Faith shares her life-long dance with trauma and depression, and how she discovers a new and liberating vision of God. Her book Making a Way Out of No Way is required reading at leading theological schools around the country. Dr. Coleman co-hosts the web series, “Octavia Tried To Tell Us: Parable for Today’s Pandemic.”
Dr Coleman speaks widely on mental wellness, navigating change, religious diversity, mental wellness, and religious responses to intimate partner violence.
Myrna: How you were called into the ministry at an early age? How did your grandfather influenced you in that?
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Dr Monica: In my book, Bipolar Faith, I tell the story of my great grandfather, my maternal grandmother's father. Whom I've never met of course, and his experience as a black man in a small town in South Carolina. The story I tell how he decided to hang himself and had one of my great uncle help him to hang himself. My great grandfather asked my great uncle to pull the chair out from underneath him and allow him to hang.
I did not know this story until I was well into my 20s. So, it wasn't the story that I was told as a child. Even though many people in the family knew what my grandmother meant when she talked about being orphaned or having her parents die at a very young age. Her mother died from complications with childbirth. And then she said, six months later, my father died. And so, I understand how she came to that conclusion, that there was this deep sadness that leads this kind of activity.
This was actually just part of my family's story that was talked about in these metaphorical ways, rather than in more direct ways. So, I think it shaped me in the sense of, there was something in me that knew that you could get so sad you will die.
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And I think this is a kind of backdrop to a lot of the many other things that I ended up talking about in “Bipolar Faith” as it's my story. I am also hoping that other people see themselves in the story in ways in which, poverty and class and war and sharecropping and the effects of slavery and all types of things, contribute to what we would now call, mental illness.
Being black in America, is very complicated. And a lot of times people aren't stopping to ask “How do you feel?” And so, a big part of this book is really trying to shine a light on, mental illness. Having people ask,
How are you doing?
How are we feeling?
How are you managing these various things that we know that we all manage?
And so, I would say that's really where I was going to push through and I think it became a part of my calling whether I was not aware of it all.
It is important to talk about these things, whether that's around issues of, sexual violence, or, domestic violence, or issues around, depression, and, mental health.
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Myrna: This is so true, we inherit the blessing of our ancestors, and we inherit the, curses, of our ancestors.
Dr Monica: I don't want to quite use that language of, blessings, and, curses. But yes, we inherit what our ancestors have. We can get the bad stuff and the good stuff, we get the things we would rather live without and we get a lot of their, survival techniques, and their joint, faith, as well. And you know, when I think we you know, so in the fact that we get genetically right isn't new or knowledge, but the fact that it's kind of part of who we are and it shapes us and part of our experiences and put up our family stories that we've known for a long time.
My great grandfather could have been depressed and that is why he decided to commit suicide, no one was giving a clinical diagnosis of, depression, in that time period. So, what I want to say it's not about checking the boxes and saying that is what he had, because maybe it was the grief of losing his wife and being like oh, my gosh, I have to take care of these eight, nine kids, that's overwhelmed for anybody plus sharecropping and, racism. I'm saying I think it's all of those things. I don't think you can say, oh, let's take one out.
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Myrna: I understand the horrible things that our ancestors had to go through. So, you have something like, mental illness, or, depression, or something like that. But this segues right into the next question I have here. You say that, Black women, we've been overlooked, black women, in the United States. What do you think, Black women, have been overlooked?
Dr Monica: I've seen things change a lot in the last five years, but for the last five to 10 years, there's so much more conversation. I would say, since the COVID pandemic, everybody's got some kind of, depression. I mean, we think about how we talk about political movements, and the political activism and the voting power of, black women, and the sense that we're going to hold it all together, we're going to raise a family, go to work, do all things.
And oh, by the way, while you're doing that, there's I think, still is very much expectation that if you're able to do the things and handle business and make ends meet, that you're okay or even better, that you're better than okay that you're strong.
There's very much a sense that if you are a person of, faith, then you should be fine. And you should be okay. You shouldn't have challenges and problems and we have specific expressions that actually imply that. We all need some help, and I am thrilled to see more of those conversations, but I think they're still very much sensitive to that.
Myrna: I got to circle back on that the first one was the, Superwoman, tendency of, black women. And you’re right, black women, they're raising children and a lot of times there's no man and so they're holding down two or three jobs and, and they pride themselves on being, Superwoman. In fact, my mom was one of them. She raised four children by herself, had two or three jobs, I came around and did the same thing. I would say, I can look after my kids, my mom did it, that's the, Superwoman, tendency that we can do it because we’re strong.
White women, they all have husbands and who may stay home to look after their kids by choice. The second part of a circle back is that you're saying that the, superwoman, syndrome creates some kind of, mental illness, and, depression, they should go to a doctor and get a checkup. What are you leading to with that?
Dr Monica: My friend and colleague Dr. Chanequa Walker Barnes has written a wonderful book about chocolate the strong black woman is called “Too Heavy A Yoke,” I highly recommend. Whether it's legacies of war and poverty, these are also the ways in which black families look on legacies of slavery. And in the United States even the enslavement has manifested in parts of the African diaspora in terms of how families are structured. Even the policies and practices around what family structures look like.
Therapy wasn't always covered by insurance, but I think it's getting better. There are more, black therapists, and more culturally competent therapists who will understand all that people are bringing in terms of their racialized and gendered experiences.
Myrna: In, Bipolar Faith, you kind of cut yourself open and talk about some, some personal issues and personal things and you're sharing so you can help others. So, you share some very intimate details of your life, such as living with, depression, yourself and also being raped by a fellow minister. How did that experience effect your, faith? Was there a time where you know you're angry with God?
Dr. Coleman: I think experiences of deep suffering cause all of us to have, at the very least a hiccup in our, faith, walk. You're going to have some kind of pain, whether it is the kinds of, traumas, that I discussed. There's going to be some level of suffering and no one likes it. No one's ready for it. Nobody wants to suffer. It's not a part of the human experience that we're happy about or that we're going to welcome and say, hey, let's have some pain here.
There are levels of grief. That's all part of our life and because our spirituality and our, faith, is part of our life, it's part of our, faith, as well. And for some people, faith, is very helpful and instrumental and holding them up and they find great resonance in the, faith community, and a lot of support there. But at some point, people don't ask why me? Why someone I know and love died? I need some answers here.
We act like asking why is a problem like it's a crisis of, bipolar faith, and you're not supposed to do it? Why do I have to do this? Why is this happening? Why it's happening to my people? It's a very natural part of the spiritual life to ask why. I think what doesn't happen very often is people don't always say, you're going to lose the, faith.
And that's okay. For a lot of times, there's a sense that losing your, faith, is the end of the world and it is like heresy or some terrible thing. We've all lost, faith, at least once, maybe 2-3-4 times. And it is our responsibility, I would say as a, faith community, to stay with you while you find it again, and to hold the space for you, to walk with you to hold you and bring you food.
Until you and God find your way back to each other or something like that. Because of course we don't have the same, faith, we had as five-year-olds. We don't have the same, faith, we had as 15-year-olds, because we've seen more and we've grown more, we've evolved and had different kinds of experiences.
Doesn't mean I don't have a relationship with God. I don't have a, faith community, but that's not what it looks like anymore. And so yes, it definitely caused me to have some questions and to be angry and to say, what I've been taught, is not matching up with what I'm experiencing, and I'm trying to figure this out. So, I kept changing, faith communities, until I found one that was able to hold that space of, faith, for me.
Myrna: So, my circle back to that is when did you become, depressed?
Dr Monica: I really can't quite pinpoint when did I become depressed or say Oh, well I have this very deep grief, my grandmother died when I was 13 years old. I named it as, depression. You know, my family negative, depression. I didn't come up in a context where people were like, Let's label this as, depression. Let's give you some therapy. That came much later. But that's how a lot many black families were in the 70s and 80s. No one said, let's go to therapy like white people do.
Oh, yes, I can look back and say this was, depression. I felt that there were definitely some challenges and hard places in life. That made me sad, but to me, I was like, well, sadness is the appropriate response to some of these things. And I would later have clinicians say, well, most people feel sad in this way and you seem to be sad in a deeper way. And I'm like, oh, because I don't know most people only know me from the inside.
In many ways, I would say “Making A Way Out Of No Way” is the theory behind, Bipolar Faith. So, Bipolar Faith, is my story. It's the story of my family. And I like to think that there is there's some gray threads that feel like an African American story, it presents like an American story. And I think Making A Way Out Of No Way is the belief system that's behind, Bipolar Faith. This is what I believe about community, what I believe about salvation and that salvation in the what gets us to heaven.
Salvation is the root word set out to heal, to be evolved and to make us well. Salvation is what I believe helps us to be whole and helps us to do well. And then it is making a way out of no way. But it's really not no way, it's just a way we can't see. And that's where the God part comes in. It's, you know, God and hopefully us as you know, as creative people's humanity and the rest of creation, working together to in the best of worlds to make the world a better place. Transforming creative ways.
Myrna: So that's great, it's like, blind faith. Of us knowing that regardless of how bleak it looks right now, that God is going to make a way out of no way tomorrow. Joy comes in the morning kind of thing kind of thing. So, I like that. So, do you feel that your story and, Bipolar Faith, you said that was the foundational principle? Do you feel that that is how your life progressed, that you had the spiritual power, that propelled you along and God always made a way for you to prosper?
Dr Monica: I'm not even sure if I'm prospering, I think I'm doing meaningful and I would even say needful work. Trying to creatively transform what we got, whatever we've inherited, into something better. Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's this is what we got to work with, to transform what we have into creative ways. To make the world a better place.
Myrna: How can people connect with you and pick up copies of, bipolar faith, and other books?
Dr Monica: You can always pick up a copy at www.bipolarfaith.com. If you go there, you'll find more than you ever want to know about the book. Find ways to buy it. You can also always call your local bookseller and ask them to order it for you. You can use larger online booksellers, if you prefer. If you go to www.bipolarfaith.com. I do a lot of music in the books. So, you'll see some playlists there. You'll see a couple of videos there. You can grab a little bundle I call, behind, bipolar faith, where there's a workbook available if you want to do this like a reading group, for example.
And you can also hear a couple interviews from a psychiatrist and other, faith leaders, with me about, bipolar faith. You can also go to www.monicaacoleman.com and find more information about me and you can also grab a free devotional. If you go to the homepage, you'll see a free five-day devotional there. And that's just my gift to others a little devotional that I use for the spirituality.
Toyin Crandell, author of the Money Mindset Shift and host of the Millionaire Money Podcast, talks about helping her clients ditch their limiting beliefs about, money, by shifting their, money mindset, design a simple, proven and customized, financial freedom, plan so they can, build wealth, become, debt free, and create a new legacy.
Toyin Crandell is the host of the Millionaire Money Podcast, a best-selling author, a financial mentor, an international speaker, and the founder of Money Mindset SHIFT.
She specializes in helping business owners and career professionals ditch their limiting beliefs about, money, design a simple, proven, and customized financial freedom plan so they can build wealth, get rest, and create a new legacy.
She has coached thousands of individuals and families, helping them increase their wealth by $10s of millions of dollars and pay off millions of dollars of debt while enjoying their lives in the process.
Using the principles she teaches, Toyin Crandell went from being stuck in tens of thousands of debts, having no food for her family to building eleven streams of income and running her own multi-million-dollar company.
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Toyin: I was in full time ministry and I loved what I did. Me and my husband are both professional musicians. That's how we met. So, I was like, God is good. Life is good. Who needs, money. December 2016 we were living in a tiny basement apartment. The apartment was so small. I think our whole apartment fits into my current master bedroom now. It was so small; you had to go sideways and do a shuffle to get some clothes out of the closet. And we had a little six-month-old daughter, I really didn't care. I didn't even notice any of these things.
We had our daughter and I remember one evening my husband had brought me dinner in the bedroom. Because we didn’t have a dining space and I'm eating dinner, and I was just like, Baby, where are you? You know, he's not in the room like there's nobody else in the house but me and him. So, I said to him come eat over here. And he comes in the room and I'm just casually asking him, what are you having? I was eating some canned stuff. And he said, I am having chocolates and I was like, what do you mean chocolates? And he said Toyin we're out of food.
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I found out that week he had been giving me the rest of our food because I was nursing our daughter. And even the chocolates that he was eating were not chocolates that we bought. It was because it was December it was Christmas season and people had given us a gift of a box of chocolates. So, he was living on that, so I could feed our baby and that was my very first, forceful wakeup call where in my mind I thought to myself, Oh, my gosh, this isn't working, money, matters.
I started having 1000 thoughts in one second, I’m thinking to myself, we need to be able to feed my daughter. It's one thing when you're single and you don't have food and you can eat rice from January to December. Nobody cares. But now have a daughter that I am responsible for, so I get this wakeup call, what do I do? Me and my husband very resourceful people, I tell him it's not working. I've been watching a ton of webinars. I've been listening to all these different things to try to learn from people. And I was not working, else we would have food in the fridge.
So, I get my first coach and this person was a, business strategist, and they helped me to like start thinking more like a business person as opposed to thinking like a Lottie, Dottie person. And I remember in February I had collected $7,000 in cash and I was like oh my goodness, this is the breakthrough we've been waiting for.
Myrna: What did you sell to make the $7000?
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Toyin: I was helping people to become, debt free. So, here's the funny thing. I had debt in the past and I thought that, debt freedom, was, financial freedom, because I didn't understand, money. So, I learned how to be, debt free. And I had started teaching it as a business casually, I didn't even plan it. I just became, debt free. My friends were like, Oh my gosh, you’re, debt free. How did you do it? I Started telling my friends, and they became, debt free. I'm spending all this time talking to people and they're all becoming, debt free. And I wasn't getting paid.
So, I was like, I should get paid for this. So that was what had started like me charging for teaching people how to become, debt free. What happened was in the same month where we're emailing about rent and bills, I get this favor to get into a room with these technical, millionaire mentors. And these are people who are running businesses that are in the hundreds of millions of dollars and
I'm in the room with them learning from them. I started noticing these guys they don't talk like me, I started noticing so many little things. And I realized that I had been in so many circles. We prided ourselves on our, struggle. I get in this room with these actual, millionaires. And one of the men had this chart and it started with:
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He asked us in the room, where are you on this ladder? And like earlier that year he met me in February have been like at least I mean, sustained success, but at this point, I am under, struggle, again. And I just remember thinking to myself, if I don't figure out what is holding me back financially, I will always be under, struggle.
I realized that the problem isn't to be, debt free, because I had become, debt free. I was, debt free. But the problem was my mind was so against having, money, that even though our expenses was the lowest you could imagine. We reduced our income to be lower than even those expenses, because we were so used to, struggle.
Myrna: I teach that all the time. Let’s label this, mindset. It's called a, poverty mindset.
Toyin: That's exactly right. That means no matter what actions you take, you produce, poverty. And in that month, I create this process. So now let me talk about how we got to 11 streams of income. I create this process where I just started asking myself questions. I got honest with myself on a level that I had never been honest with myself before. I asked myself:
What are the limiting beliefs I have about, money?
What is my actual relationship with, money?
What am I doing wrong?
What is my pattern with, money?
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So now I see the problem and I create this shift process. I didn't know anything about neuroscience back then. I didn't know anything about, mindset coaching. I just knew I was sick and tired of, struggle. So, I use this process for myself. I never thought I would even tell anybody about it.
The next month, November, we had more income. And my husband pointed out to me, he's like, hey, you just had more, money, come in, in November this month, than all of last year combined. And he says to me, what are you doing? Do you have a new offer? Do you have a new business like what are you doing that I didn't hear about? Honestly, I was shocked. I hadn't looked at the numbers from that frame.
And I said to him the only thing I did was change my, mindset. I thought to ask myself, I wonder if this mind process would work for my clients because I haven't taught them anything about mindset. It was all strategy and our success rate because our success rate was around 50%. The industry average ranges between 3% to 50%.
In coaching, our success was 60. I used to be proud of that. But I used to be so frustrated about the remaining 40%. Why were these 40% still in poverty? When I started teaching, money mindset, our success rate went to 95%, our people start scaling and becoming, millionaires.
In the process of up leveling my mind every single year, I'm honest about this. I am a human being I still have, money mindset, challenges, the difference is the level.
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Becoming a millionaire by shifting your money mindset
Myrna: You're no longer scratching the bottom.
Toyin: I remember it took us from $60,000 a year to 130,000 a year to 600,000 a year to over a million in a year, so we were growing every single year. I would literally sit my butt down with my process and say, Okay, what's the new level? What's the new identity that God is calling me to operate in. Because guys, money, is never just about the numbers. When I set goals, when I push and when you want to push, you're not doing it just because of the, money; money itself is neutral. It means nothing.
All it is a marker of the value that you are bringing to the world and you are allowing yourself to receive. And so, I realized the more people I can serve this, money, thing is just a way for me to see how many people am I helping? How many people am I making into, millionaires, or whatever the goal is. I'm a finance person naturally, as soon as the, money mindset, got figured out, we were off. We now have 11 streams of income. We've got real estate properties, you've got dividends, we've got stocks, we've got royalties, we do workshops, plus, passive income.
So, we have, passive income, streams and active income streams, but all of it came out of one thing one thing a, money mindset. Start your income making machine, you need an income making machine that allows you to do all the other fun things that you want to do. What your income making machine will not produce unless you face your, money mindset.
So, unless you look at your, money mindset, and allow yourself to be able to get to a level you've never been you are not going to become a, millionaire. We coach people who are, millionaires, and we coach people who have not worked a job in eight years and the conversation may be different, but we are training the subconscious.
Shifting our money mindset
Myrna: So how do we shift our, money mindset?
Toyin: Okay, the first thing that you want to do is you need to get honest with yourself about what's not working. If you cannot be honest with yourself about what's not working in your finances, you will never fix it. And this is actually the hardest part, being honest with yourself. Most people never want to do that because it sucks to look in the mirror.
And so, the first thing that you guys want to do is to get your, money, right. You have to sit down with a pen and a paper and write down what are the patterns that I am seeing happening In my life that are giving me clues. The, money mindset shift, is simply follow the money.
So, for example, if you have a savings account, and your savings account, never crosses 5k, some of you guys you're doing very well your savings account may never cross 100K. You get what I mean? Like everyone has those limits, where were the ones that never crossed 55 bucks.
When there is a pattern, we often get lost in the story. The reason my account never got past $500 was because my fridge broke down. The reason was because I chose to go and shop this time. The stories will always be different but I don't look at the story, I look at the pattern. What is the pattern, the pattern is when you hit $500 your money disappears.
So right now, what are the patterns that I am noticing in my, money? I will save this specifically for those of you who earn a higher amount than people around you, you are in one of the most dangerous positions financially. Why? Because when we work with a lot of, millionaires, and we find that because you are doing better than most people, everyone around you is super impressed.
They're like, Oh my gosh, Look at your income. And a lot of these people don't notice whether or not, money, is staying. Yes, you're working hard. Yes, you're bringing in bank. Yes, you're making the dollars; But you're not building generational wealth. You're not keeping any of it. You're not keeping it. But once you shift your, mindset, you have to take action.
Myrna: I know you just started your podcast. Tell our readers how they could connect with you.
I'm the host of the Millionaire Money Podcast. It is so much fun. We just teach business owners and career professionals how to think like a, millionaire, make wealthy decisions and take strategic action so that you can actually create the, millionaire, bank account and lifestyle that you want. So, our goal in that podcast is literally helping you to get your first $100 million dollars. We're going to be taking you to the next level. So that's the podcast.
And then the second thing is some of you guys may be saying, I'm ready to shift this brain of mine, I am ready to actually begin to live out the wealth that I'm looking for. For those of you guys you can go to www.moneymindsetshift.ca and you're able to watch a free master class. Now we have two master classes. One of them is for everybody, and the other one is specifically for business owners who are currently at six to seven figures. So, if you're thinking seven figures is a masterclass for you. And if you're a career professional or business owner and looking to earn your first million then the second master class is for you.
Lusene Donzo started life in the US as a, refugee, from Liberia. After arriving in America he enlisted in the, US Army, and began, training his mind, to live his, calling. Listen to Lusene's story of how he overcame a grand mal seizure, living on, welfare, to find success in the, army, as well as an entrepreneur and speaker.
Lusene grew up in Monrovia, Liberia, and came to America as a refugee 17 years ago. October 20, 2016 his life changed forever where he ended up having a grand mal seizure and ended up in a coma. He quickly realized that tomorrow is not promised and as long as you have life you should chase after your dreams and things that matter.
He later graduated from Virginia State University as a computer science major, commissioned in the US Army in 2018. Today Lusene is an author, speaker, credit consultant and a United States Army Officer who loves empowering people and helping them build their credit. Lusene is the author of “The Power of Determination: Train Your Mind To Live Your Calling
Myrna: We are witnessing a war in, Ukraine, at this moment, I'm having chills now just thinking about it. We all know that the life of those, refugees, are not going to be easy. Right now, they don't know where they're going to be living or how they're going to eat. So, your journey is an interesting one to talk about in this climate. Tell us, your story.
Lusene: So, originally, I grew up in Liberia, at the age of six, in 1990, Liberia had a civil war. I was born in 92. So I was born during the height of the Civil War. And I remember at the age of four or five years old that we would have rebels coming up coming the house and my mother at the time, she would hide me on the ceiling from the rebels, because they were looking for young men to fight the war. Children are the easiest individuals to take advantage of.
So my mom would always hide me, up in the ceiling, just to make sure they don't find out that she has a male child. She eventually gave me to my grandmother to go live in a village in a different country, Guinea. So I lived in Guinea for about two years. It was a lot of struggle there we used so to eat in the same bowl. We all used to play together. It was more family, but it was a lot of struggle because at the time I didn't know who my father was.
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I didn't have my mother, I was just living with my grandmother and all my cousins and we were fighting to eat food. So it was it was one of those things that when I look back, at the position that I'm in right now, I am so humbled because especially I can resonate with what some of the individuals in, Ukraine, are going through because being a, refugee, is something that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
So once I left Guinea, I went to Ivory Coast, there was a civil war in the Ivory Coast and everyone that was not Liberian they were trying to kick them out the country. You needed this thing called les de Paseo, which is kind of like in America, a green card to stay in the country. America had a resettlement program for, refugees, in Ivory Coast to bring them to the states so my family applied. Nine months later, we ended up coming to America as, refugees. Initially we were on, welfare, collecting checks, food stamps, and all that, but eventually my mother got off, welfare.
Myrna: That is such a beautiful story. I came from Guyana, we weren't that poor, but it's still a third world country. I had the opportunity to go to Canada. That's what's got me out of my poverty. And then I ended up coming to United States. I support a charity that's called food for the poor. And one of the things that they show are the kids in Africa eating from one bowl of rice. Oh my God, it breaks my heart. So you went through all that and then you ended up with a grand mal seizure? How did that happen?
Lusene: So after I came here, I moved around a little bit, and I moved to Philadelphia, I was living with my uncle in Philadelphia, where I graduated high school. I was working while in college, I was working a lot. I was, training the mind, by working hard and being determined to get off, welfare. I was working about 18 hours, I had school, I had ROTC, I was the Army Reserve. I was just doing too much.
I ended up having a seizure because I wasn't getting adequate amount of sleep. I wasn't eating a lot of nutrients. So my brain went into a shock and I ended up having a coma. I had a seizure initially, where I broke my left shoulder while I was sleeping, I then had a grand mal seizure, at the hospital. The seizure was so bad that I ended up in a coma for about six to eight hours.
Myrna: How old were you then?
Lusene: 24 years old.
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Myrna: Wow, so somebody told you about hard work, you came to America and you worked. It's one of the things that immigrants do. You know, we're not lazy. You're trying to make it in this world and overworked yourself. Alright, but again, all our experiences in life are guiding us through something and what that you said in your bio. What you realized after this happened to you is that tomorrow is not promised and you should chase your dreams. So why did you decide to go in the, army?
Lusene: One of the main reasons I decided to join the, military, was because I wanted to challenge myself as an individual. Prior to joining the, army, I realized that I wasn't challenging myself while I was living my life. And one of the things I realized that a lot of successful people have trials and tribulation, but they get through things that challenge them.
I joined the, army, because I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that I was not mentally where I needed to be. I wanted to develop my character to become better. So that's one of the main reasons why I joined the, army. I think the, army, has been a blessing to me because it has helped me to be very resilient in everything that I do.
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After I had the seizure, the doctors told me that I should give up on all my dreams because I was disabled and would stay on welfare since I would not be able to get a normal job. And that never resonated with me because I looked at myself in a mirror and, trained my mind, to become present. I said I did not come to this land of opportunity to be on, welfare.
So I challenged what the doctor told me. I started to, train the mind, with, meditation, until I was able to get off my seizure meditation. I told the doctors I did not want to stay on a seizure medication. I have a dream and I will return to the, army.
Another blessing was the fact that because I was in the, army, they paid for my medical bills which was over $350,000. I told my physical therapist, I can overcome this, I'm already, resilient. I've been through so much as a, refugee, so much, mental training, in the, army. I didn't come to America to collect a disability check.
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Myrna: Your first goal was that you recognized that you wanted to, train the mind, and you wanted to build your, character, and that's why you went into the, army. And I'm understanding why the doctor was thinking that you would always be on disability because normally the cause of a seizure is something mental. And maybe he diagnosed that you're always gonna have seizures.
Lusene: To, train the mind, to build, character, I asked myself:
How determined Are you?
How bad do you want to establish yourself?
How bad do you want to tell the world your story?
How bad do you want to write a book?
How bad do you want to set yourself up for success outside of the, army?
And that's where my, determination, came from because I kept on talking to myself. I kept on repeating affirmations. I kept on turning down all the haters and naysayers that were saying I'm too young, I don't have any credibility. And one of the things I realized is how can you get, credibility, if you don't have a product? The best way to have, credibility, is what to get, credibility, so you have to start something.
Myrna: You were in the, army, and wanted to have a job outside the, military?
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Lusene: Yes, I've always had multiple jobs even while I was in college. So I was never used to having one source of income, but it was a little difficult, with senior leaders constantly discouraging you and telling you that you cannot do this because you don't have the, credibility, because in the, army, your rank is low.
Myrna: So what is it that you wanted to go after? Is that your credit consulting business?
Lusene: One of my ultimate dreams is to become the number one speaker on the planet, but the credit counselling business came very easy to me. I wanted to chase my dream of, entrepreneurship, and at the time, I didn't have a product. So, I actually enrolled in Eric Thomas program, and one of the things he said was the best way to get credibility, was to write a book.
I started researching things that came very easy to me and, how to build credit, was very easy because I took my credit score from about 585 to 840 in 18 months. I realize this was an amazing accomplishment, and I said to myself, I have a skill that can teach other people. I started teaching people, how to build credit, for free and when I had 20 clients, I started charging and then eventually I went ahead and got certified. Check out my credit counselling course @
Myrna: Okay that's awesome, I love that determination.
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How the army trains the mind
You book is about, training your mind, to achieve your calling. How did the, army, train your mind?
Lusene: So this is how the, army, train the mind. When you first get into the, army, you go through this thing called reception and immediately they tell you drop your bags, and you have sergeants yelling at you telling you what to do trying to break you. They tell you this is what you're gonna do, they strip out all the civilian out of you. They now tell you, you are no longer a civilian. You are in the, US army, you're a, soldier.
Now you're going to be told what to do. Once you have acknowledged that, some people don't, some people do. But once you have acknowledged that now they tell you to call your parents let them know you're safe. You're now in basic training. They're now telling you when to wake up, when to go to bed, when to have personal hygiene and all those things.
The reason why the, army, train the mind, is to condition you as a, soldier. You're going to be told to execute missions from higher officers, so they start, training the mind, on accepting orders in basic training. The first thing that the, military teaches you, is you have an assigned weapon. When you have an assigned weapon, what that does is that teaches you how to take care of something that you're going to use to eventually kill someone.
So you're going to learn everything about that weapon, because at the end of the day, if you're deployed and your weapon jams, you have to know how to fix the malfunction. That could save your life.
After you learn how to take care of your weapon, you start training your legs. The, army, trains your mental toughness because they want you to be, resilient. They want you to be mentally fit, so when you're tired, you stay sharp. You're going through this training in the span of eight to nine weeks, where you're waking up at four in the morning, you're sleep deprived, and you haven't seen your family, you don't talk to your family, and you're constantly being challenged.
That is how the, army, train the mind. You're constantly waking up at 4 am in the morning, you're constantly going to bed exactly at 9 pm, you have to make up your bed. You have to make sure your bed is detailed. You have to make sure your laundry is done. You have to make sure your lockers are clean. Don't say these are small things. They're, train the mind, to be a, US soldier.
You can take those lessons and you can apply them in your personal life or whatever it is that you want to do in your career.
Myrna: I absolutely love it. I read a few books on the Navy Seals training, but they, train the mind, of every, soldier.
The Power of Determination: Training the mind to live your calling
Tell us about your book why you wrote it and what you want the readers to walk away with.
Lusene: The book: The Power of Determination: Training the mind to live your calling tells the story of what I went through as a, refugee, being abused by an uncle who was mentally and physically abusive, joining the, army, having a seizure while in the, army, and still ended up enrolling myself in a speaker program. I talk about my credit program and , how to build credit, and give steps to help you, repair your credit.
The reason why you should get the book, it's a highlight my story of all the things that I went through, all the trials and tribulation, just to stay on course and stay, determined. I think one of the most important things in life is for you to literally, train the mind, to find your, calling. I wanted to, train the mind, to live my, calling, because I believe that every single one of us have a, purpose. We all have a, calling. And my, calling, is to inspire millions of people around the world by speaking. Check out Lusene on his website https://lusenedonzo.com/ and follow him on instagram @lusene2motivate
We face a problem on the planet, which is the degradation of, soil, and to answer this, Sadhguru, initiated a movement called the, save soil movement, which aims to address the looming threat of, soil extinction, and to encourage the policy changes globally needed to restore our, soil. So, this is a campaign that will raise mass awareness as well as show the governments of the world that it is time to create, soil friendly policies, that regenerate our world, soil.
Trent Navran is a musician, meditator and program manager of Sadhguru’s Isha center in McMinnville, Tennessee. While attending Rice University to study neuroscience, Trent started his meditation journey by taking Inner Engineering, a holistic wellbeing program.
Deeply touched by the wisdom and meditation practice imparted by, Sadhguru, Trent began volunteering with Isha Foundation, a non-profit, volunteer-run organization operating in more than 300 centers and supported by over 11 million volunteers worldwide. Through yoga programs for inner transformation and impactful social outreach initiatives, Isha Foundation, has created a massive movement dedicated to addressing all aspects of human wellbeing.
He currently lives at the, Isha Institute, of Inner sciences in Tennessee, where he supports national communications and partnerships. His major focus this year is supporting the, Save Soil movement, which aims to prevent, soil extinction, and bring the necessary policies to address this ecological crisis. This movement has garnered support from global leaders including Marc Benioff, Jane Goodall, His Holiness the Dalai Lama and institutions such as the United Nations – Convention to Combat Desertification, the World Economic Forum and many more.
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How Inner engineering changed my life
Myrna: I guess your journey began when you took, Sadhguru's, Inner Engineering, wellbeing programs. So, can you tell us about that program and why specifically, that led you to change your life? I just read the book “Inner Engineering” So I'm sure that the, the program goes much deeper than the book.
Trent: Definitely, especially into the experiential dimensions of, yoga. So, growing up, I grew up in an interfaith household. So, I always had more questions than answers. I was very intrigued by Eastern ways of thinking from a young age. And when I went to college, I started studying neuroscience. I was going to become a doctor was very interested in psychology and behavior in language. And I thought, Alright, I need to experience, meditation, hands on and my older brother who had the chance to take, Inner Engineering, strongly recommended the program.
So, if you happen to be going to Houston where I was living, to teach, Inner Engineering, and at that time, it was a four-day course, a complete overhaul of, Mind, Body, emotions and energy. So, I thought, Alright, I'm finishing my first year of college. I would love to experience what, meditation, means in its purest form, so I sign up for the, inner engineering, course. And I joke Myrna that I learned more in those four days about the, mind, and human behavior than I did in four years of psychology classes.
Myrna: Wow! I'm impressed.
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Trent: Very touching experience, because I found that there wasn't an ounce of dogma in the words, Sadhguru, was simply speaking about life at its core, through his perception as a Realized, yogi, and, mystic. The way that he spoke about, relationships, about work, about meaning about life, about death, about functioning at your highest, and looking at the human system as a mechanism, really distilling things down to the basics.
Would you like this human machine to work well or not? If you could choose between joy, and misery, which would you choose? And it was just framed in such a pragmatic and compelling way that I couldn't help, but be very deeply touched. And I think the most important part of that four-day experience with, Sadhguru, was learning a 21-minute yogic practice. It's called Shambhavi Mahamudra kriya, which is a simple 21-day practice that involves holding certain postures to prepare the system for, meditation.
And I kid you not, within a few weeks of doing this simple practice, I found myself feeling more connected to nature seeing greener in everything around me when I was when I was in nature and walking through trees, felt a deeper sense of ease.
You know, college can be a tumultuous time and I found that the practice gave me a certain anchor, a certain level of stability and serenity. So, it was a phenomenal boost and it continues to be such an integral part of my life and my wellbeing.
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Myrna: Wow, that's amazing. You know, it's really interesting. I read the book “Inner Engineering”, after I read the book, I started communicating with trees as I did my daily walk in the park. I like what you said regarding your studying neuroscience which is all about the workings of the brain. And you know, the brain controls the body and the mind and all that stuff. But yet in four days, you were able to tap into something. And I'm thinking that what happened is that you were able to tap into source energy somehow, which is the universal power. And that's basically what changed you.
That is awesome. And the amazing part of your story, and I'm glad you left it out so they can ask the question. The most amazing part of your story is that after you had that experience, you decided to become a full-time volunteer at the, Isha Foundation. I find that the most fascinating part of our conversation.
Trent: It's was a 10-year journey, I found myself wanting to go deeper.
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Who is Sadhguru
Myrna: So, we talked a lot about, Sadhguru. We talked about the, Isha yoga center, but our conversation today is about the, save soil movement, before we go on there. Let's give the listeners some information about, Sadhguru, what his initiatives are, for people that don't know who he is.
Trent: Absolutely, there are many ways of describing, Sadhguru. In simple terms, he is a, yogi, and a visionary. And he's been known over the last four decades for massive initiatives to foster human wellbeing and also global harmony. So, he's implemented large scale projects for environmental restoration.
He has taught, yoga, programs that have touched the lives of millions. Fundamentally, his mission, as I understand it, is to raise, human consciousness, to allow people to experience the enormity of what it means to be human and moving humanity from a compulsive state of existence to a conscious state of existence.
Doing things in a conscious way in a way is conducive for one's growth for one's wellbeing and for the wellbeing of all. So, over the last 40 years, there are so many different things that, Sadhguru, has designed and implemented to support raising, human consciousness, to support individual wellbeing and growth. There are social outreach initiatives and healthcare outreach and kind of these basic things that we may not think of as, spiritual, but without them, it's not really reasonable to expect someone to turn inward.
So, without addressing ecology, without addressing education, and of course, the economy allowing people to be economically empowered and to be in a stable situation. These were kind of the fundamental things that, Sadhguru, and the entire, Isha Foundation, has been looking at, so that we can arrive at a state where all of humanity can, use the tools of inner wellbeing. Use the tools and technologies that allow one to experience their humanity as the miracle and as the blissful phenomenon that is.
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Myrna; It's amazing. Yeah. And as you were speaking, I remember you know, my pastor saying when somebody is hungry, or someone is in need, it is not the time to be telling them things like, meditation, and telling them things like, finding God you've got to satisfy those basic needs.
Now let’s talk about the, save soil movement. I'm a little bit prepared for it because, Sadhguru, had a webinar about a week or so ago, and I listened to it. So, I understand, the basic foundation is that we're depleting the, soil, and its nutrients. So, can you explain, what’s the, save soil movement, is all about and what are its goals?
Trent: Absolutely happy to lay it out. We face a problem on the planet, which is the degradation of, soil, and to answer this, there's a movement called the, save soil movement, which aims to address the looming threat of, soil extinction, and to encourage the policy changes globally needed to restore our, soil. So, this is a campaign that will raise mass awareness as well as show the governments of the world that it is time to create, soil friendly policies, that regenerate our world, soil.
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So, what is the actual problem? Well, the leading world bodies as well as leading, soil scientists, have shared that 62% of the world's agricultural, soil, is already degraded. In the US alone, half of our topsoil has basically been destroyed. It's not farmable. It's not arable. In European nations. The amount of organic content in the, soil, is dropping drastically and when you hit a certain threshold, basically beneath 3% organic matter, the, soil, becomes sand.
And sadly, when we talk about, soil degradation, this is what is happening globally, that you're losing the life that microorganisms, the organic matter that makes, soil, a living entity. The living substance that it is in India, a country of 1.3 billion people which relies, very heavily on their agriculture, 62% of India's, soil, has less than half a percent of organic matter.
Remember, the magic number is 3%. Beyond 3%, the, soil, becomes sand but with half a percent of organic matter in India soils in the majority of their, soils, you're really creating a situation where the, soil, cannot deliver and create the plants and crops and vegetables and fruit that are needed for life.
This is something when I learned about it, Myrna was absolutely dropped jaw dropping, because you know, we talk a lot about greenhouse emissions we talk about, a rising sea levels and all of these things demand our attention, no doubt, but why have I not heard about, soil?
Why are we not talking about, soil, because almost all of our food on earth comes from our, soil. It is the giver of life. There cannot be any richness in life if we don't have rich, soil. But this issue of organic matter disappearing rapidly from our, soil, doesn't seem to be getting the attention it deserves.
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Myrna: So that's awesome. A couple of circle backs, first of all, what is taking the nutrients out of the, soil?
Trent: My understanding having been learning about this for over a year, and I've actually had the privilege of speaking with leading, soil biologists, people who study this, academically and professionally, it is there are multiple pieces, but to simplify it, the practices we're using in our modern era of how to farm play a big role in degrading the, soil, by using chemical fertilizers and pesticides. You are harming the microbial life.
A lot of us don't realize that, a teaspoon of, soil, has billions and billions of microorganisms. Actually, it has more organisms than there are human beings on earth, just a teaspoon of, soil. So, we have this this complex yet fragile ecosystem living within the, soil, how you treat it makes a big difference.
Spraying certain chemicals, using certain fertilizers can make a difference. The practice of, tilling the soil, which is something we've used for centuries, it seems like it's effective. When you till, soil, you're kind of violently uprooting and disturbing the, soil, beneath the surface and this can harm the microorganism life.
Tilling, also exposes, soil, to the elements so you have massive amounts of carbon dioxide and methane being released into the air so your, soil, is being harmed and damaged and you're contributing to greenhouse gas emissions, which is really a double whammy. So, if I had to summarize it, it is that our modern industrial farming practices are playing a role in in damaging and destroying the, soils, that we have. Can we change it overnight? No, but should we be aware that these are the problems that we're facing and find solutions to boost the organic matter?
There are so many amazing people in this arena regenerative farmers, policymakers who are aware of the, soil, issue of entire nonprofits and divisions of the UN who recognize that we are heading towards desertification. We're heading towards arid areas where there used to be thriving, soil. This is a part of the planet that we must take steps to save.
Myrna: Yeah, I'm a little bit aware of that, that I don't know if I heard it from, Sadhguru, or somewhere else. A farmer, is using the same soil and I guess as they keep repeating it, it keeps getting less and less of the microorganisms. They're harming it by the pesticides, which they have to because then the bugs, we need up their product. They're harming it by, tilling. But is if we don't stop this degradation of the, soil, is there a way to put it back in? I remember when I was growing up, we would use cow manure as a fertilizer. Can that work?
Trent: Yes, There is something I would just love to share with your audience to learn more about this because the solutions and problems have been known actually, for decades. We're not reinventing anything here, many indigenous cultures and traditions are across the planet for centuries, if not millennia, have had thriving, soil. It's really only recently that we're facing such widespread destruction of our, soil. At conscious planet.org has a wonderful video that we've created to share. There's a simple video that describes this problem in very simple but scientifically valid ways.
There's also a documentary which was a game changer for me. It's available on Netflix called “Kiss The Ground.” And this is a phenomenal resource that explores in depth, the vital role that, soil, plays in our life as well as, the people who are trying to turn around this crisis. And both on the conscious planet website and this documentary and of course, so many resources that are out there. We will quickly learn that, the bulk of the problems created by our farming practices. And the solution also lies in our farming practices.
What you mentioned about, animal waste, it can be cows, it can be goats, it can be chickens, simply having animals grazing. The land and dropping their waste inoculate a, soil, with organic matter. There's also a very vital and well-known technique called cover crops, where for periods of time you aren't actually farming the land or at least plots of land for, specific harvests. You actually planting different kinds of crops and trees and shrubs that invigorate the, soil, that capture carbon and other nutrients from the atmosphere and embedded into the, soil, which again is a phenomenal thing to address global warming and greenhouse emissions.
These are two examples of many, many practices that are that are great for the, soil, but if we can add more plant matter and animal waste to the, soil, that can bring more organic content. And if you can allow for more and more land to be under shade, where it's not being scorched by the sun and being you know, decertified those are two simple, but very, very powerful practices.
PTWWN TV – Save Soil
Join the save soil movement
I think joining our, save soil movement, so from March 21, all the way through the end of June, there will be a powerful 100-day journey. Sadhguru, will actually be motorcycling 30,000 kilometers across 27 countries in Europe, Middle East and then finally in India. He is he's 65. This is not something you would expect and it's not a joyride by any means, this is something that he's doing to, wake people up and to very swiftly meet with, leaders in each country.
So, if everyone can be with us for this movement and for this 100 Day epic journey that in itself will prove to be invaluable because, we're going to be amplifying things on social media. We're going to be having, events that take place throughout all the European countries into the Middle East and then India. I would say for now, it's about awareness, education and speaking out. And then very quickly, you'll see this movement evolve into the next phase, which is how do we inspire and encourage the governments of the world to pass these, soil friendly policies.
So, to the citizens of the world, we play a vital role we don't have to solve all of it, but learning and sharing and speaking about it, our hashtag is #savesoil. We're going to be active on virtually every platform. So, following you know, conscious planet on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook. We have YouTube content being translated and dozens of languages that people across the world can learn about this.
Use Hashtag #savesoil to post to social media
#savesoil hashtag and campaign will be a way of connecting all of us and, you can share a video of you connecting with, soil, you can show share a video of talking about the food where did this come from. Why does it so matter? Any small action can translate to a groundswell of people becoming aware of the, save soil movement. And we've actually created a role for this. If you visit the website and press Get involved. We're asking people to sign up to become, Earth buddies. So, I'm an, earth buddy.
To learn more about, Isha Foundation, of the center here in India, it's Isha.sadhguru.org. There's amazing content there daily quotes, all sorts of video content and articles. There's a lot of content there about, soil, since that is, a fundamental way of connecting with nature. And then the, save soil movement, itself will be, catalyzed and unfolding via the conscious planet and, save soil, performance.
Spiritual healing, for couples helps them to unblock their, chakras, by moving the energy away. And once they move the energy away, they're lighter, and then they can go on to have, healthy relationships.
My guest today is Brianna Colette, Brianna is an, intuitive, relationship healer and, soulmate medium, who helps guide her clients to connect with their inner self in order to focus more on a higher sense of, self love, as a means to grow stronger connections and relationships. Thus ultimately leading them to finding and experiencing the most preeminent of bonds: soulmate love.
Brianna is an, intuitive, relationship healer and, soulmate medium, who helps guide her clients connect with their inner self in order to focus more on a higher sense of, self love, as a means to grow stronger connections and relationships. Thus ultimately leading them to finding and experiencing the most preeminent of bonds: soulmate love. She is NLP Certified, a Karuna Reiki Master, and a certified Sound Healer Practitioner who really has a way of connecting with people.
Examining her clients' old belief systems allows Brianna to focus on any client’s possible wounds from childhood, inherited family dynamics, or fear surrounding vulnerability. Once Brianna examines their past, she helps her clients make peace with old wounds and break free from any self-sabotaging toxic patterns, guiding them on how to release fear and create the right conditions for a higher frequency of love.
Myrna: What was your journey to becoming an, intuitive, relationship healer?
Brianna: Thank you for that beautiful introduction, by the way, like, of course I live in this work every day and to hear someone else put it so beautifully and poetically into such a fabulous intro was like, very humbling. I'm like, yeah. So thank you, that was great. Well, as you can imagine, um, you know, I was not always in this work, like most people, like most of my clients, I wasn't given this template.
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I wasn't given this handbook for having a really healthy, dynamic relationship, I had to go through the bumps and the bruises and the mistakes, and really try to heal myself. I have a really interesting story, as most people do, who kind of step into the, healing intuitive, work. I witnessed a really violent murder. It was a murder of a family member. They were my next door neighbors. And I say I was there at the right place at the right time, because I was able to save some people's lives that night.
It was one of those things that you can't prepare for to become a, spiritual healer. It's one of those things that is a life altering event and changes who you are as a person. As you can imagine, after witnessing something like that, I struggled with, PTSD. I struggled with, depression, and, suicidal thoughts. That experience really tested all of my, coping mechanisms.
Taking a vacation to try to relieve stress or even, going out with girlfriends for some dinner and drinks. Those types of things no longer worked for me anymore. And so as I felt my, mental health, starting to degrade, I started to feel like I was slipping. It is the best way I can kind of describe your, mental health, when you don't know that it's happening.
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I did a lot of traditional Western versions of therapy which is what led me into all these different modalities that I now am certified in and offer to other people. I immediately felt the shift within, I started to not only have a logical understanding of why things were happening, or how things from my past were affecting me, presently, I started to really embody that change, and I started to feel better my, spiritual healing, had started.
And so through that process of, spiritual healing, as you can imagine, the things that used to hold an attraction for me, my old business, my old life held no interest. I felt a calling into, spiritual healing, and, intuitive, work. I surrendered into it and have been guided and led to help others to heal themselves and to really get to a place of, inner peace, and contentment and connection within, relationships.
Myrna: That's awesome. I guess that takes me down the path of the, Karuna Reiki master. How did you stumble onto that? You said you went to Western therapies. Did you actually have a, reiki, session and loved it or are you just graduated towards that?
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Brianna: I was at rock bottom, I was grasping at anything. If someone suggested it, I was like, sure, I'll try acupuncture. Sure, I'll try EMDR, I was really willing and open to anything on that journey, and I knew somebody who practiced, Reiki, and I had sessions with her. And of course, it was a different kind of, spiritual healing, that I had experienced. I mean, I've been going to traditional talk therapy since I was nine years old.
I was looking for something a little bit different and I had a lot of my, trauma, and a lot of the things that I've been holding on to for a really long time. Reiki, really helped me to break through. And so of course, I was like, I, when I healed myself, it was a good place, I have to learn how to do this.
What exactly is, Reiki?
Myrna: Reiki, is a Japanese holistic practice of connecting your, chakras, and using energy work. It's energy healing, And a lot of people who are familiar with depression, would say depression hurts. There's obviously a physical manifestation in the body of when our emotions cause us pain. We've all felt anxiety, those knots in our stomach, or fear in our chest where we can't breathe, so there's a physical, physiological response to emotional pain.
What, Reiki, does is a way of connecting into the emotional connection within the body, each of our, chakra, and throughout our entire physical body hold onto memories, they hold on to experiences, we hold it in our bodies. And so, Reiki, helps us to get rid kind of these emotions that are painful, and helps us to release them. The physical reality of having, Reiki, done on you is you really feel lighter afterwards, emotions not weighing on you so heavy.
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Myrna: I do, chakra meditation, myself so I'm very aware of, chakras. But one of the things that most stands out to me when I learn about the, chakra system, is that they're seeing that if you've got a blockage in your, chakra, that's where disease starts. So when you do the, Reiki healing, do you move the blocked energy? Or are you just dealing with emotions?
Brianna: They're all connected. Okay. And if you think about it, right, from a scientific standpoint, we're cells that are vibrating, right? We're all just energy bouncing around. And when we, feel at peace, you kind of feel really grounded and in alignment. When you feel stressed or worried about something you kind of feel off, right? You feel off balance, you don't feel like you're the highest version of yourself.
When we have energetic blockages energy is stuck in the, chakras, which are our energy computer. Energy stuck in your, root chakra, usually deals shows up as fear, or it can it show up in your solar plexus, as creativity. So each, chakra, has different pinpoints or different foundational bases.
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When we do have a blockage and one of those, chakras, it usually is related to something on an emotional level, because we are emotional, human beings that have that need for connection. And so usually, yes, you can relate back a blockage to an emotional issue that's happening in your life.
Myrna: So blocked energy starts as emotional, and then disease follows. All right. So I understand. I had a few interviews on the show about, Reiki, and of course, almost all my guests talked about the, chakras. So you have migrated your specialty to, you call it a, soulmate medium, which is what I love. But also what you're doing is you're helping people heal from their childhood wounds that are actually physically manifesting in their bodies.
Brianna: For me, personally, I was really searching all the time for love. And I was really putting myself in, unhealthy relationships, when the murder happened. A few weeks later I was dumped by my then boyfriend, I was having a really hard go of it. completion, I was searching for solace, or love and happiness everywhere else outside of myself as well as, spiritual healing. And through that process of, spiritual healing, I started to realize what it is that I need to look at within myself.
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I was able to heal myself and transmute the, trauma, and step into this place of like, oh, so this is what it takes to get here. This is what I needed to heal to be able to experience this. And I just felt really passionate that Like, I wish that someone had explained this to me, or shown me how to heal this because I spent so much, so many broken hearts, so much energy, so much time trying to figure it out. And so that's what really called me into this kind of work.
Myrna: Alright, so that explains why you became a, soulmate medium. But what I was talking about is still connecting the, chakras, to past wounds. I loved your statement,
We are healed from the scars and not the wounds.
So you help them to unblock their, chakras, by moving the energy away. And once they move the energy away, they're lighter, and then they can go on to have, healthy relationships.
Healing Childhood wounds
Brianna: It's like we kind of, we have the ability to create whatever it is that we want in life. But unfortunately, a lot of our blocks are limitations that we perceive. And for me, my, my work is about asking what are the templates that you received in childhood? What was normalized for you in relationships? Did you grow up in a household where yelling at each other was something that was just normal, right? Or did you grow up in a household where being emotionally distant was something that was just you know, status quo?
Did you grow up in a home as a child, where you took on the responsibility of worrying about everybody else, except for yourself? Because there was chaos, you know, so these types of foundational experiences when we're young shape our belief systems, about the kind of relationships that we're having into adulthood. And for me, and in my personal experience, and experience with so many clients, when we can heal and unlock the things that are maybe not so healthy, or are limiting us and our belief systems or behaviors, we can unlock and heal and really learn?
Oh, this is actually the better way to show up. Oh, this is actually what's healthier for me. These are the types of partners that actually give me what I'm looking for versus recreating the same like, you know, what is the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again. This is how we change the dynamics of our life in our, relationship.
What is a soulmate medium
Alright, so now this is my question that I wanted to ask, soulmate medium? Also what is the definition of a, soulmate?
Brianna: A lot of people don't even aren't familiar with what the term, medium means. Oftentimes, what people perceive when they hear the word, medium, they think, psychic. That is not completely different psychics and, mediums, are not the same thing. A medium is somebody who is a channel, I have the ability and have learned how to channel, intuition.
We all have that kind of like inner knowingness that's called clear sentient, where you can feel things . And that's what, intuition, is. So obviously a, medium, can feel things and experience things on various levels, whether you can like hear the you can hear you can receive messages. For me personally, the way that I work with clients when I say, soulmate medium, is I can help to intuitively connect into what they are feeling.
I can help people to see the blind spots. Sometimes we insulate ourselves from the truth. Sometimes we might be in denial about things. Sometimes there's a cognitive, right, we've isolated ourselves because it's too painful to deal with the brain is really intelligent that way, it compartmentalizes things and we can't even see ourselves clearly.
So what I say is in terms of a, soulmate medium, I can intuitively tap into what is really going on underneath the surface that we need to heal. We need to connect into to elevate and upgrade out of so that you can experience this higher frequency this higher soulmate energy of love. And I do a lot of work explaining to people what even a, soulmate, is. But ultimately, being able to connect into getting people out of behaviors that are there, they're settling, or they are caught in patterns of dysfunction, which is the antithesis of what a, soulmate, is.
Spiritual healing from past trauma
All right. So I'm listening very intently. So what I got out of that is that someone comes to you broken because of past trauma, past relationships, you're able to intuitively help them to see there to see what the dysfunction is. And then once they are operating, that's the full throttle for a different word, then you they will be able to attract their, soulmate. Is that correct?
Brianna: Oftentimes with clients, I see a lot of my unhealed broken parts are attracted to your unhealed broken parts, you know, and that's where we get a lot of compounding happening, right? We attract what we are. And so I help clients to leave behind that old version of where they're playing small, where we're accepting less than we deserve, where we are making excuses for other people's bad behavior or, unhealthy relationship, dynamics.
Let's upgrade out of that. Let's start operating in this place of like, integrity with how you treat yourself self respect, self love, because everything comes from from within us, right? So if you're, if you're able to feel really aligned with yourself, know you what you deserve, know what you should be receiving, you're going to attract someone who's also done that kind of work.
Finding your soulmate
Your, soulmate, will be operating at the same frequency because you're like, oh, yeah, I want to be able to trust somebody to and I've worked through my own, trauma, I'm not going to put up with someone else's raggedy BS, you know, like, you want a partner that meets you at where you're at. And so if we can leave behind those old behaviors and belief systems, then we will attract our, soulmate.
I work with anybody who is desiring to fix whatever kind of, relationship, they're in, whether that's heteronormative, whether that's, homosexual, like anything under the sun, if you have a desire to fix, and heal and upgrade the way that you're showing up in your, relationships. You're my kind of person. I oftentimes and one of the things I'm really good at is helping single people who are or people out of divorce or out of a relationship who are having a hard time letting go. I help couples to heal, spiritual healing.
Relationship reset
That's what, relationship reset, is the, spiritual healing, program that I am working with right now. It's designed for people in relationships who are committed they know that this is a person that they want to have a future with and and work things out; but are feeling maybe there's blocks in their communication.
There's things that are kind of bubbling to the surface after kind of the honeymoon phase wears off, where you're mirroring some unhealthy dynamics back and forth to each other and just get to a place of being able to show up. Within in that relationship feeling really supported and aligned and really clear about what your future feels like together, they need, spiritual healing.
Myrna: Let's talk about, relationship reset, spiritual healing, for couples to find how they are showing up, what their blockages are? You know you people say they're great baggage from relationships. Tell us about your coaching program, how can listeners connect with you and sign up for your coaching program?
Conclusion
Absolutely. So, the, relationship reset, right now is a group coaching program, where I am taking people through these foundations of, you know, these really important baseline. I believe, characteristics of what is involved in a healthy dynamic and a healthy relationship like decide whether that's intimacy, whether that's trust, whether that's healthy communication, and helping each of them pull back the layers to see where maybe that they've got some stuff from the path that is preventing them from having really effective communication or, you know, feeling safe to really open up the path of intimacy.
It's a retreat program where I will go over the the fundamentals the foundations and then there's also one on one time with me to be able to go a little bit deeper for, spiritual healing.
So to go check out and learn all about my different offerings, whether it's, relationship reset, whether it's my other programs that are downloadable you go to my www.Briannacolette.com that has all the information on all the ways you can connect with me. My Instagram handle is @briannacollect. I welcome any anybody who's looking for more information or feels like this resonates happy to jump on a call.
Don Paris, PH.D takes us through the history of, Radionics, and how the science of, Radionics, allows us to get information from subtle dimensional realities.
Bio
• Don Paris, Ph.D. is a published author, speaker, video producer, and musician. His book, Regaining Wholeness Through the Subtle Dimensions has been published internationally in German, Spanish, Japanese, Portuguese, and English. He is known as the guru of the SE-5, the world’s most respected subtle energy instrument.
He is well loved for his style of bringing challenging concepts into an easy to understand language and has been a popular speaker at the Global Sciences Congress, Congress of Spiritual Scientists and the United States Psychotronics Association.
He has created the most detailed explanation of the, principles of Radionics, and the most advanced training courses in the entire field. He began exploring the, subtle dimensions, in the early seventies, and has now trained people in over 30 countries around the world in the workings of, Radionics, and the, subtle dimensional realities.
Don was awarded an honorary doctorate degree in Human Sciences from the International University of Vitalogical Sciences in Stockholm Sweden in 2000 for his work with the, SE-5, and, subtle energies.
He and his wife, Ilona Selke, who work as a team, have contributed to radio and TV shows, and have been quoted in numerous publications around the world. They teach seminars in Quantum Psychology in the US, Europe and Asia.
When not traveling to teach, they divide their time between their homes in the Pacific Northwest and Bali.
In his work he had dedicated himself to bridging the barrier of the physical boundaries to the, subtle dimensional realities.
The History of, Radionics,
Radionics, started almost a little over a hundred years ago. Believe it or not this is when electronics were just kind of getting off the ground. Radionics, got the name from the word radio because that was the technology that was around at the time it was discovered.
Dr. Albert Abrams in the early 1900s and during that time period he was a medical doctor he was a medical genius doctor. He got his medical degree at age 16 and he too was young to practice, so he went to Europe and Germany and got another medical degree and then came back and started practicing medicine but this guy was an absolute genius and during that time period how they would diagnose a person.
One of the diagnostic techniques before we had all this fancy stuff was they would do a percussion technique on the abdomen. They would tap on the abdomen to see if there were any sore spots so it was kind of simple and you know kind of like they do with the doctors do it now.
One day he noticed that this patient came in and he tapped on his stomach for a minute it had this big hollow sound and it was like well that's kind of weird. He'd never heard that sound before and so he went home and he thought about this is strange sound. So he had this guy come back in. The hollow sound was gone and he's really puzzled about this.
He decided to put him back exactly in the same place in the same direction and the hollow sound appeared again and this totally blew his mind. So he got to thinking in his genius mind what earth energies was responsible. After much research, he was able to detect various types of disease by the sound tapping made on the abdomen.
Today if I put a resistance box in between the two people maybe I could filter out one disease versus another. We now have, radionics, which is computerized and a quantum leap from there but those very beginnings. I don't remember how long 20 30 years he developed these processes, he taught doctors all over the world and about this time is when Rockefeller started investing into pharmaceuticals and they formed the American Medical Association which was basically from my perspective to help the Rockefellers get rid of both electro medicine and homeopathy that was their goal.
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Have faith that, something greater, is coming and even though you can’t see the entire staircase just keep putting one foot in front of the next and you will eventually get to the top and finally your, something greater, will be here.
The Lord said I give you the, promised land, a land filled with, milk and honey, but before you enter this, promised land, I will make you wander in the, wilderness, for 40 years.
Maybe you are in the, wilderness, at the moment, don’t despair hold onto the promise that you will walk in the, promised land, because, something greater, is coming. Or maybe you only have one half of the promise, you only have the, honey. Life is sweet. Have you ever heard the phrase, barefoot and pregnant? It means you are pregnant with hope. It means you are happy but broke. Your happiness is the, honey.
God promises if you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things.
You can be happy that you have love in your life. That’s the, honey, but you want the, milk. The, milk, represents what you need to grow stronger. It’s how you rule over many things. You don’t want to be, barefoot and pregnant, you want more. You want to be both wealthy and pregnant. You want, milk and honey. All you have to do is Ask, Seek and believe that, something greater, is coming.
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The Chinese Bamboo Tree
Your, something greater, will come at the right time. Don’t think because you don’t see any evidence that God is not working on your, something greater.
Think of the, Chinese bamboo tree. A, Chinese bamboo tree, takes five years to grow. It has to be watered and fertilized in the ground where it has been planted every day. It doesn't break through the ground for five years. After five years, once it breaks through the ground, it will grow 90 feet tall in five weeks!
You will be blindsided by your, something greater. Your rapture will come suddenly. One day you will be walking along the street and you will get a phone call. You got the promotion or you got approved for a business loan to start your own company.
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My something greater is here
A year ago I was looking and the top 200 list of podcasts and visualizing about seeing the Transform Your Mind Podcast on the list. Never thought about it again then out of the blue I get an email that my podcast has made the top 200 list actually #36! My, something greater, is here!
Whatever you are dreaming and praying about, your, something greater, is coming. Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.
Don’t get frustrated because it is taking longer than you think your, something greater, is coming and it will show up at the right time.
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How I got my something greater in Love
About 15 years ago I was just ending a bad relationship, I had been praying to God for years to send me the right man, but I kept hooking up with the wrong men so my relationships did not last. I walked into a train one day going home from work and standing at the door doing a ticket check was my, something greater.
We both knew immediately, because who you seek is seeking you. He was looking for a wife and I was looking for, something greater. Eleven months later we were married. We are coming up to our 16th anniversary. But when I left my house that morning and chose what I was going to wear, I did not know that God was directing my steps, because he knew that by the end of the day my life would change.
How many of you know that the window to the heart is through the eyes. The first attraction is sight! So what I was wearing attracted my husband's attention!
That was my husbands first day on that schedule that is why I hadn’t seen him before. He had just changed shifts. He did not know that God was directing his steps also. He asked God to send him someone nice, a quality woman and he did.
There are no coincidences in life every moment is preordained.
Have faith that, something greater, is coming and even though you can’t see the entire staircase just keep putting one foot in front of the next and you will eventually get to the top and finally your, something greater, will be here.
My guest today shares her story of years of, domestic violence, she was verbally and physically abused by her parents and then continued the cycle into, abusive relationships, one of them almost killing her. After her last, abusive relationship, ended, she discovered that he was sexually molesting her 7 year old daughter. Shermomicia tells a powerful story of how she is stopping the cycle of, domestic violence, and healing her family.
Domestic Abuse and Childhood Trauma
Shermonicia tell me your back story. I know you're studying for your masters right now but can you take us through your journey to this point in your life.
I have three sisters and one brother. The four of us growing up with my mother and father they were both on drugs. My whole entire life was abusive. I am also a victim of, sexual molestation. I was sexually attacked when I was like seven or eight. It was hard growing up with both parents on drugs. I have three kids with 3 different men who were all abusive.
I'm going to talk about the abuse today is where the abuse that almost cost me my life.
I would say that my abuse started way before I even got with any man. My mother was very verbally and physically abusive. Every day she would tell me how she wished she never had us.
She called us all kind of names so, I didn't have no self-esteem, none whatsoever. My father was abusive as well, he would abuse my mom. It led me to abusive men. I got married to my son's dad and he was verbally abusive. He left me and my son with no money and we got evicted. I lost my job because of him and we'd had nowhere to go, so my mother decided I guess you can come stay with me.
So I lived with her for a little while and I was able to get back on my own feet to get my own place. I met my oldest daughter father 2 years after my divorce. We got together and I had his child seven months after we met. Four months after she was born, the abuse and , domestic violence, started. It lasted for four years. I was physically beaten not daily, maybe every other day. He was a monster.
He really was. I have been kicked in my head, I have been punched and choked and slapped; brought up against walls dragged, through the house by my hair. He locked me in a closet, he used belts. I didn't want to sleep with him, two times he knocked me unconscious and he got so scared because he thought he killed me.
Wow, domestic violence, is no joke. It is hard for me to write this.
Multiple domestic violence relationships
Shermonicia let's talk about what happened in the third, domestic violence, relationship.
I met him in 2013 and right away we started a sexual relationship. He was always saying I don't want a girlfriend, I just want to have have fun. I got pregnant seven months after meeting him. So here I am, a third child by a third man. He used God to get in the door. He said God told me you're going to be my wife and he just he moved in.
For the first 3-4 months the relationship was wonderful. He's was a, narcissist, who used sex to control, He was very sexual he used sex with everything that he does, so after 4 months the verbal and, mental abuse, started. The pattern of, domestic violence, started again. He'd push me against the wall, he’d put his hands on me, but it wasn't like the first, domestic violence, relationship I was in.
He propose and we were planning our wedding and fifty days before the wedding he called it off. He jumped on me in front of my children and walked out. About a month after he left he left, my seven-year-old daughter came to me and said he put grease between my legs. That kind of caught me off guard and when I went to him and asked him about it and he said she was hurting down there so I put grease.
My daughter would not talk about it until I took her to a church group, the lady was sharing about how her father molested her and she broke down and told me all what her was doing to her. It was almost like a second heartbreak to me because I was dealing with a breakup. We had a four year old child together, I was going to marry this man. It was devastating and so I immediately contacted the authorities and you know got everything going. The trial starts in a couple of weeks.
Tune in to listen to this incredible story of survival and how Shermomicia is making sure that the cycle does not continue to her daughters.
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• Anyone in search of fresh perspectives on dilemmas, relationships and decision making.
• Those seeking inner change and the opportunity to build new bridges.
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What is your, nature? The true crisis in the world is not social or pilots the true crises is lack of consciousness our inability for us to recognize our, true nature.
Two, monks, were sitting by the river and one of the, monks, noticed a scorpion drowning. He dipped his hand in the water and saved the scorpion by putting him on the shore but not before the scorpion stung him.
A couple of minutes later the other, monk, said look that stupid scorpion is in the water again. The, monk, again put his hand in the water and saved the scorpion and once again the scorpion stung him.
The other, monk, said to the, monk, why do you keep saving the scorpion when it keeps stinging you.
The, monk, replied because it is my, nature, to save and his, nature, to sting.
Many people fail to distinguish between their, true nature, and their, personality traits, particularly their less desirable traits. The fact is you are not the worst characteristics of your personality. The untrained mind want what it perceives as advantageous and to fear or hate what seems painful. Discovering how your heart and mind can work together to use these feelings allows you to move beyond them and start to experience the kind of freedom that comes from understanding your, true nature.
Is it your, nature, to help your friends even though they never help you?
Is it your, nature, to show kindness to strangers?
Is it your, nature, to save like the, monk, or is it your, nature, to critique and see the faults in others?
When you discover your, true nature, it gives you the freedom to act against your own self-interest to “not think,” eg. The, monk, saving the scorpion even though he knows it is it’s nature to sting.
You may feel overwhelmed by the circumstances of your present life or bound by past traumatic events. Again, this is a failure in perception. A spiritual practice can provide you with the knowledge and discipline to investigate and discover your, true nature. You have to discover this for yourself, for you will not ultimately believe what someone else tells you.
You can do this investigation within the parameters of your present life. The intensity of your desires and fears can be a source of energy that propels you to look more deeply for that which really matter.
The, Buddha, taught that your, true nature, is obscured by the veils of wanting, fear, and delusion (or ignorance). He urged that you look at the nature of your mind systematically and observe how these three, mind states, condition what you think and value, and how you behave. He taught that it is the identification with these, mind states, that causes suffering; for instance, you mistakenly believe that just because you feel the emotion of wanting, your, true nature, is the same as that wanting.
true nature quotes
If you are not your thoughts, then what is your, true nature, how do you find it, and how do you live so that it may flourish? These are the perennial questions for anyone who starts to develop an inner life. In Jesus’s teachings, love is at the center of all being – love that is forgiving, unconditional, and not self-serving.
This was, Jesus true nature, what is your, true nature? Knowing your, true nature, will allow you to make decisions effortlessly. The, monk, did not sit and debate if he should save the scorpion because he knew that self interest was not in play.
Thanks for listening to 5 mins with coach Myrna I challenge you to get to know yourself that is how you grow yourself. I invite you to join my private Facebook group called Lifecoach. How to see you next week for another episode of, 5 mins with coach Myrna.
There are 4 types of, trust, that make, relationships, flourish. These are care, competence, consistency and character. In this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I teach how to develop these areas of, trust, in your, relationships.
Care – When we care about your partner, we put our emotions in their hands, they, care, about what's best for you and not what's best for them. They, care, about your wellbeing. Examples of, care, are: going beyond the call of duty to help you move, accompany you to a doctor’s appointment etc.
Here are some ways to show you care:
Write them a powerful letter full of love and hope.
Take care of some of their responsibilities (for example, watch their kids, do their laundry, cook them dinner, or go shopping for them).
Call often to remind them how much you love them and how you are always thinking of them.
When you visit, bring a book to read aloud or a movie to watch together.
Bring them pictures of your times together and hang them where they can be viewed all the time.
Spend time reminiscing about the fun times that you've shared (as children, in high school or college, or on vacations). Remind him or her that there will be more good times in the future.
Competence – The second type of, trust, is, competence. You trust that your partner is competent to handle financial matters. If you are sick, competent, to handle your, care, and make decisions that are best for you and not best for them. You trust their opinions and recommendations.
Romantic competence entails a conscious awareness of both emotional needs and appropriate actions for meeting those needs within a well-functioning, relationship, And because their, relationships, are still fresh, their emotions toward them are likely quite high.
The definition of, competence, is your skill or ability in a specific field or subject, or being able to do something well or to being sane enough to stand trial in court. An example of, competence, is when you can, trust, your partner to make the financial arrangements of the household.
Character – When we talk about, trust, we are usually talking about a high moral compass or the, character ,of our partner. We look to these people when we are not sure what is right and follow their lead. These people practice what they preach and are valuable in, interdependent relationships. They have good reputation, strong opinion, and down to earth advice. They are trustworthy.
What are examples of, good moral character?
Legal judgments of, good moral character, can include consideration of honesty, trustworthiness, diligence, reliability, respect for the law, integrity, candor, discretion, observance of fiduciary duty, respect for the rights of others, absence of hatred and racism, fiscal responsibility, mental and emotional stability.
Consistency – Your partner shows, consistency, when they are reliable, and you know that they always have your back. They may not be the expert, but they are reliable present and available when you need them. They have been with you through highs and lows.
Someone who is, consistent, always behaves in the same way, has the same attitudes towards people or things, or achieves the same level of success in something. He was never the most, consistent, of players anyway. If one fact or idea is, consistent, with another, they do not contradict each other.
Consistency, in, relationships, is a combination of behaviors that include dependability, and a true desire to have a companion and form a serious, relationship. People who are more, consistent, with their interactions with one another, such as having predictable behaviors and good communication, have longer and healthier, relationships.
People come into your life for a reason a season or a lifetime.
Some people come into your life for a season bringing change and excitement, but the, relationship, ends like all seasons do.
Another person might come in for a reason to help you learn and grow or to support you through a difficult time. It feels like they have been sent to guide you through.
And they are lifetime people they stand beside you through thick and thin loving you even when you have nothing to give them.
Love is a gift without any strings attached.
Remember you are also a season, reason or lifetime partner to someone else and your role may not match theirs.
Pure trust, is when you know that another person has your back.
You develop, trust, by asking for what you want.
Tell them how you want to be loved.
Communicate the areas where there is dissatisfaction.
Build, trust, by telling your partner what would make you feel loved.
Thanks for tuning into, 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to invite you to join my private Facebook group called Lifecoach so that you can be inspired all week long.
Ashley Bernardi opens up about losing her dad as an eleven-year-old and trying to save his life alongside her mother and sister as he suffered from a sudden death heart attack. She ignored the trauma, grief, and guilt from the horrifying experience for years after being told she was “so strong” in trying to save her dad’s life and attempting to move on. In her 30s, she suffered from a debilitating mystery illness that left her bedridden and unable to care for her three children.
It was then, in a state of despair and hopelessness, that she began to feel the pain and “mess” she had been ignoring – her illness, grief, and trauma – and found the true healing and growth that she had been searching for her entire life. For years, she had pushed her trauma aside to maintain a “mask” of strength for others, yet her feelings came out in other ways – in people-pleasing, alcohol use, in destructive relationships, and eventually, making the devastating effects of her mystery illness even worse.
Authentic Power, teaches us that our darkest hours are disguised as an opportunity to uncover and process, feel, heal, and grow from our mess.
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Myrna: What was your journey to finding your, authentic power?
Ashley: I was so horribly, physically ill. And on top of that had been diagnosed with, postpartum depression, after the birth of my third child, that I was forced, I had no choice, but to sit still and surrender to the pain, the physical pain, but also the mental image, mental, emotional, and spiritual pain that I had been bearing since I was 11 years old. But that's where the healing happens. That's where that little sliver of light in all that pain, I felt it, I saw it, I held on to it.
I taught myself how to move through and process all of this, trauma. And here I am today, that's what my book is all about, authentic power, give yourself permission to feel. And I say, authentic power, because that really starts with accessing the wisdom within by getting still turning off all the noise around us. Finding your own authentic voice of what it is that that your body, mind and spirit are calling you to process. And so that's where that's really where the story begins.
Myrna: Yeah, that's an amazing story. You're right, when you said that, you hope that everybody goes through the long journey as you. You talked about holding on to your pain, and then having it come out as disease, depression and people pleasing. You got healed from, Lyme disease, and you started meditating and finding the power inside of you.
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So, tell us why, authentic power? Once you start to feel and acknowledge your feelings, how does that transform to, authentic power?
Ashley: Oh, that's such a great question. So, this really goes into, has anyone asked you a simple question, how are you? We always say we're fine, right? Usually, that's not the truth. In that moment. It's like, well, I've got a lot of things going on. So, I think like in society, teaches us to mask our feelings because nobody really wants to know, right?
We have social media, Instagram, where we post all the great pictures of the family. There's just the lack of truth and vulnerability. And I found that in my own life, I was lacking that truthfulness to myself. And I was lacking being vulnerable with myself. And so, when I got truthful and vulnerable with myself, therein lies my authenticity, which is so powerful. You can actually create by going within and listening to that inner voice.
And you mentioned a couple healing modalities that I use to access my, authentic power. Meditation is one of them. Getting quiet and getting still work for me and so was healing yoga. And then also during my healing process, I discovered something that I call the field framework. Which is a technique for me to really go into those messy and uncomfortable emotions, process them in real time allowing me to move through those emotions, and therefore kind of clearing the space again, for me to access my, authentic power.
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Myrna: So yeah, when you can feel, you become vulnerable and don’t have to be so strong. Women we feel that we should be so strong, it's a badge that we wear. We love hearing, Oh, you're so strong. Oh my God. Nobody wants to be vulnerable. Right? They want to be the Superwoman. And you know, women usually are Superwoman, looking after the kids, they're working, and taking care of their men.
Ashley: I'm so glad you mentioned that. It's so funny because my original title for, authentic power, was not so Strong, because I really felt not strong, despite wearing that mask of strength for so long. And that's something that we do in society. I did that before my health crisis, I wanted to look like Superwoman, I was the one that was pureeing the baby food and making sure my husband had dinner on the table every night, and people pleasing everyone around me, except myself.
When I had my own self, my own health crisis, I had to, I had to look at my own self-worth and value my self-worth, not what other people thought of me. And that really stopped me in my tracks. So now, I don't try to be superwoman at all. I get a lot of help and I put boundaries in place saying. I tell my husband dinner on the table is not happening tonight. I tell my team this project not going to get done today.
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Myrna: Awesome now I've read your book, I know that you felt a lot of, guilt, because on your father's death, because you felt that there's something that you could have done. So, what was it that you stuffed down for 20 years or so? Was it, guilt?
Ashley: That's a great question. It was 100%, guilt. I felt guilty because when my dad was actively having a heart attack, I didn't run to go by his side to give CPR. My mom and sister did, I ran to go call 911. I also ran to the neighbor to get help. So, for so long, I was like, what if I had gone and given him CPR to help my mom and sister? What if I had been the one to do that? There are so many what ifs. As a child I buried that guilt within me very, very deeply. I also buried the, grief.
So before, before my health crisis, which you know, really is was my greatest awakening, I see, Lyme disease, as my greatest gift, and I'm so grateful for it. It allowed me to really look deep and face my, grief.
I never visited my father's grave, alone. That's how much I did not want to deal with facing his death. I did not allow myself to grieve. I'm sure there were sometimes when I cried, but in the early days of, grief, it was just straight up in shock. My dad died very suddenly, it wasn't a slow death, one day he's there the next day, he is not. So, the, grief, was a very uncomfortable feeling for me. It was very, very scary, and I didn't want to face the fact that my dad was gone.
And even afterwards, in middle school, and high school, I would have friends come over, I wouldn't even tell them that my dad had died. They didn't know my dad had died. They had to ask other people like where's Ashley's dad? Oh, yeah, we heard he passed away. So that's what bearing, grief, looks like. But I can say now, here I am. 27 years later, just this year, because of all the healing work that I've done. I visited his grave by myself for the first time ever.
And I'm so proud of myself, because it was just an incredible way to show how far I've come, how long the journey has been. And when I did, it was so beautiful. And I found that it is possible to have relationship with your loved ones, even in death. And that's something that's very important. I want to stress that I thought that once my father was dead, he was gone, but I talked to him. I pray for him. I visited him, I cried with him at his gravesite.
Myrna: That’s awesome. What does it mean to have, authentic power? How did dealing with your, grief, give you, authentic power? Why do women need, authentic power?
Ashley: That's a great question too. Therein lies our truth. It's also about surrendering to your power because I would also stuff down my power. I'll give you an example. My entire life, I've been told that I'm too sensitive. Oh, Ashley's more sensitive than the average bear. And I thought that being sensitive was a flaw of mine. I feel everything. I'm an empath. I feel other people's feelings. And I what I learned when I went through my health crisis, when I began to really feel into this emotion was that my sensitivity is my superpower!
It was then I got really quiet and still and listened to that inner wisdom, which is our, authentic power. I use that sensitivity when I'm feeling a little bit energetically overwhelmed. I know that I need to go step away and be by myself for a little bit. I know that I need to go recharge, I know that I can pick up on other people's, emotions, and so, authentic power, can also help us accept and honor our gifts.
So, for me journaling helps me unlock my, authentic power, but that can also be done in a quiet meditation and walking through nature. This could be done in prayer, too. That is the inner wisdom, that could be from the Divine, it could be from your higher self, or it could just be from that, that within you, which is what your, authentic power, is.
Myrna: Yeah, that's awesome. A lot of nice little nuggets there. Yes. You know, I'm a meditator, myself, I meditate every morning. Sitting on my meditation cushion, I listen, and I get still.
How did you heal yourself from, Lyme disease? You were bedridden, you couldn't do anything for yourself. It dropped you on your back. Literally.
Ashley: I'll paint the picture of what it looked like and then I'm, I will share how I feel. So, this is what it looks like. I mean, for anyone who's had, Lyme disease, it can show up in so many different ways. For me it went undiagnosed for a very long time and wasn’t diagnosed until after I delivered my third baby.
This is how it started. I believe it was the summer of 2014. I started having symptoms that felt like the flu. I couldn’t keep any food down; I was nauseous all the time. Those symptoms didn't go away, and it kept getting worse. I had headaches constantly I started losing weight, I got down to the weight that I was before high school. I mean it was very dangerous. I seem to develop a food intolerance to everything I ate. Then I had so many weird things happen, my body would go numb, including my arms and legs. I would have muscle fat isolation so it would feel like I had things crawling on my skin at all times.
I saw so many doctors, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, postpartum depression, you name it. Then when I become pregnant with my third baby those symptoms mysteriously went away and I remember my OBGYN I am saying, pregnancy can do this. It really does turn off the immune system because it knows you're growing a baby inside you. The day that I delivered my third baby those feelings came right back.
I was sent home from the hospital four days later and it was downhill from there. I remember one time (and this is this was really my turn turning point in the journey) after continuing to see doctor after doctor, nobody could figure out what was wrong with me, the room started spinning and I started blacking out. I lost control my bowels and started Like urinating all over myself.
I just surrendered I said alright God you either take me now because I don't want my family to suffer anymore or we going to heal together. So, I started the healing process. Healing was the slowest, most excruciating, physical, spiritual, mental and emotional process I ever went through. But I will say that the physical healing was only like 20% of the work that I needed to do. The other 80% came down to me working with energy.
Symptoms of Lyme Disease
Finally, I was diagnosed with, Lyme disease. I was so far off the deep end physically that they couldn't treat me with just antibiotic pills. I had to have a PICC line installed to my heart. And for eight weeks I couldn't lift my baby, so we moved in with my in laws. I had I was on the highest dose of antibiotics Rocephin that they use to treat meningitis patients. I had a nurse come to my house, my husband would administer the antibiotic nightly, the nurse would come once a week and change my dressing.
I was not better after eight weeks; the healing took a full year. And this is where I say that, Lyme disease, was my greatest gift, because it allowed me to get still and finally address all these other feelings that had been buried since I was 11 years old. Those feelings of, trauma, and, grief. I learned about the power of, affirmations, and journaling. Every day I would write in my journal as if I was already healed. I would write in my like little book “I am feeling Awesome, my health is vibrant. I am well, I am healthy.” I would affirm it.
I found that journal the other day, the book is this thick of me affirming my health and wellbeing every day. And in addition to that, having a spiritual mentor and joining a church community and sharing my pain with others, being vulnerable and open helped with my healing. I could no longer wear that mask of strength because I was too sick. So, I finally opened up to my friends and loved ones what was happening to me.
Myrna: So, finding that community as well as the power of connection is the path to healing and finding, authentic power. You've talked a little bit about your book throughout the conversation. Tell us about your book “Authentic Power.” What is it that you want the reader to walk away with after they closed the book?
Ashley: The book is for anyone who is faced with any sort of adversity in their lives, you know, I described my, trauma. I'm not saying you shouldn't have to ever experience, trauma, like I've experienced, because every single person's, trauma, looks very different. It could be the loss of a job, the loss of a loved one, the end of a marriage, the end of something.
My book is for anyone who's looking to provide holistic healing in their lives and learning that these messy and uncomfortable emotions like, grief, trauma, despair, depression, that there could be a reason they might are there to actually teach us something.
I'm a true believer that these, emotions, that we feel on a physical level are meant to be addressed. We have something to learn from every single, emotion. I want my book to teach readers how to become aware of these messy and uncomfortable, emotions, and then get curious about why they are there. Check out Ashley on the web at https://ashleybernardi.com/
Post traumatic stress disorder, in, teenage girls, usually develops for girls who have been sexually abused, neglected, or abandoned. Author and social worker, Kenya Aissa joins the, Transform Your Mind Podcast, to share strategies to develop, Life Skills, and conscious programs for, teenage girls with, post traumatic stress disorder.
How to cultivate consciousness and life skills for, Post traumatic stress disorder, in teenage girls,
Today I am speaking with author, Kenya E. Aissa, MS, is a Social Worker whose experience counseling girls, ages 12-22, has given her valuable insight into their thoughts on the validity of spiritual practice. As a primary counselor in a, residential drug rehabilitation program, created specifically for traumatized girls (one of only a handful of such programs in the U.S.), Ms. Aissa created and implemented a weekly spirituality group.
In the next few years, she discovered that confusion, insecurity, and fearfulness are pervasive amongst girls, and they have few internal skills with which to combat these issues. Education and information about women’s spiritual lives are greatly lacking in our schools and in our society. For young women, this dilemma can result in:
• • Banishment of all spiritual and/or religious beliefs, due to anger and disappointment;
• • Adopting non-traditional practices simply for shock value, or to gain a sense of control;
• • A sense of abandonment and loneliness born of fear, which may result in filling the emptiness with negative people, substance abuse, unhealthy sexual relationships, or early motherhood;
• • Feelings of hopelessness, which may result in depression and other mental health issues.
Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls
How did you transition your Masters in psychology and counseling into specifically helping, Post traumatic stress disorder, in, teenage girls?
I started working back in the late 90s with my girls that were at a residential treatment center. I was really dropped into that position. I was a little bit blindsided actually, because I really wanted the job. I really wanted to work at a drug treatment facility. I really loved working with
children and I already had the experience. When I got the job I didn't know that I would be specializing, that my caseload would be specifically,
treating, Post traumatic stress disorder, in, teenage girls, I quickly gained the experience because I was with them all the time. I ran groups I worked with them and their families.
I drove them from place to place. I did all kinds of activities with them, and so I had to learn really quickly how to work with, Post traumatic stress disorder, in, teenage girls, These girls were neglected, abandoned, sexually abused etc. I had a couple of girls that were very involved in gangs and so then there's all of the stuff that comes with being involved in a gang. Often there’s a lot of sex, a lot of sexual assault, sometimes unwanted pregnancies a lot of drugs.
Then there’s a lot of fear because of the behavior. Then of course once the drugs become a factor that's another layer to the whole thing, because a lot of girls with, Post traumatic stress disorder, in, teenage girls, will get involved in drugs to mask the pain of their childhood. I had some girls who were prostituting. So there was there were a lot of things that I would say that every almost every kid had some sort of, sexual abuse, or, sexual trauma.
Why adoptions cause post traumatic stress disorder
When I was in, adoptions, that I had had a lot of experience with, Post traumatic stress disorder, in, teenage girls, I could have real conversations with parents because we had parents that, especially with teenagers, we had adoptive parents that would give their adoptive kids back. No kidding. Teenagers are hard under the best of circumstances. They are worst with, Post traumatic stress disorder, in teenage, girls,
Teenage boys have a different set of coping skills. The way of treating boys with, PTSD, is different than it is with girls. My book Sacred Girl: Spiritual Life Skills For Conscious Young Women focuses on, on what works for, Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls. Helping them to find their voice and helping them to use tools to strengthen themselves and to gain empowerment.
I then came up with the appropriate strategies to treat, Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls. Our goal it's very action-oriented and so it's my belief personally that talking just isn't enough. You hear a lot about talk therapy and all that stuff and talking just doesn't do the trick for, Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls, You can't just talk your way out of the problem and so you really have to do something.
There has to be some action. That's really what my what my book is really about. It is allowing, Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls, and let's just say youth in general to understand that they have the power, they can cultivate life skills and coping skills. I really felt like the movement and the actual thinking of the activities was a way to connect to what was going on with their brain and connect them to their emotions. So we did a lot of yoga. Now I'm a yoga teacher but back then I really had no idea what I was doing.
We did the whole altar thing. In my book there's a whole section about altars.
For helping deal with, Post traumatic stress disorder, in, teenage girls, an altar could be their bedside table. Whatever have meaning for you, or that make you feel spiritually or psychically connected.
Studies show why teenage girls are more likely to develop PTSD
“Among youth with post-traumatic stress disorder, the study found structural differences between the sexes in one part of the insula, a brain region that detects cues from the body and processes emotions and empathy. The insula helps to integrate one’s feelings, actions and several other brain functions.”
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Mindfulness, is the practice of training our minds to be, present, moment by moment. When we are, mindful, we are, conscious, of what is happening around us, our environment, our emotions, our reactions, etc. When we are fully, present, or practice, mindfulness, we listen rather than just hear, we perceive rather than just see. Mindfulness, affects everything we do, and impacts every interaction we have with others.
In this episode of 5 mins with Coach Myrna, I teach on the topic of, Mindfulness. Mindfulness, is the art of, being present. It is not as easy as it may seem to become, mindful. As humans we are controlled by automatic programming for over 95% of the time, so remembering to stay in the space of, mindfulness, is also saying to become more, conscious.
Our minds are really good at shuffling between past, present and future, driven by our fears and desires, memories and imagination. Our minds habitually go from reflecting on the past one moment, to worrying about the future at the next moment, with very little time spent on being fully, present. This behavior is so habitual that we don’t even realize that we are not, present.
For some people, mindfulness, is primarily a way to enhance health or performance. For others, mindfulness, is a tool for self-exploration. And for yet others, mindfulness, is part of a spiritual path, a way to develop insight into the human condition and freedom from suffering.
Regardless of the motivation, scientists find that practicing, mindfulness, is associated with changes in the structure and function of the brain as well as changes in our physiological responses to stress, suggesting that this practice has important impacts on our physical and emotional health that are worth exploring.
Mindful, action is connecting the body with the mind. Yoga is one way we connect our bodies and mind through movement to release stored stress and trauma. Mindful Breathing, is regulating our breathing to shift the way we feel, so we can better regulate our emotions.
Mindful Centering, is being aware of what you are thinking about as you think it. Becoming conscious of your thoughts and then using the breath to keep your focus in the, present moment. This allows you to center back in the, present, and breathe when the mind moves into the past or the future.
Focused attention is another, mindfulness, technique. This technique uses the breath to anchor the mind and maintain awareness. Focus your attention on the breath — specifically the rise and fall of the chest — and return to the breath whenever you get distracted or notice your, mind, starting to wander.
Mindfulness Meditation, is an ancient Buddhist tradition that focuses on clearing your, mind, and stillness. You can think of, mindfulness meditation, as training for your, mind, in the same way exercise trains your physical body. Just as there are different workouts you can engage in to get your body fit, there are different types of, meditation, you can practice to sharpen your, mind. One of these types is, mindfulness meditation.
Like its name suggests, mindfulness meditation, involves becoming more mindful of the breath and the sensations in your body as you focus on your breathing. When thoughts come to the forefront of the, mind, you let them float away like colored balloons being taken away by the wind. You do not analyze the thoughts or let them take you into the past or the future, you simply let them come and go without being judgmental about them or trying to figure out what they mean.
Your goal is to become, mindful, of the, present moment, and how your body responds to these thoughts. This allows you to ultimately become less reactive to or overwhelmed by what you’re feeling — particularly when it comes to things like stress and anxiety.
While, mindfulness meditation, may have once seemed like an esoteric practice that only monks or the highly spiritual did, it has now become mainstream. Everybody now knows of the measurable benefits of, meditation. Meditation, has undergone numerous clinical studies that are cluing scientists into the very real benefits this practice has. As it turns out, meditation, is officially great for your, mind and body.
When it comes to the science behind, meditation, different studies have investigated its relationship to a variety of different health conditions. While research remains ongoing, so far, there’s demonstrated evidence that, meditation, may promote an array of positive health effects, including:
Lower blood pressure in people who are at risk of developing high blood pressure
“Help with psychological distress, anxiety, depression, anger/hostility and coping ability,” according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Potential diminishing severity of irritable bowel syndrome symptoms after at least eight weeks of practice
Mindfulness meditation, doesn’t only change our, mindset, and perspective, it actually can change the shape of our brains. Generalized neuroimaging, meditation, studies found that 8 weeks of, mindfulness meditation, also changes our brains, rewiring them towards more positive thoughts and emotions.
Your ability to relax has a profound effect on your bodily functions, and the relaxation, meditation, leads to can lower your blood pressure, improve circulation and lowers your heart rate. You could see less perspiration, less strain in your breathing and lower levels of stress hormones in your body.
One of the biggest benefits of, mindfulness meditation, is mental. Being, mindful, can reduce your stress levels and anxiety and make you feel more relaxed. Regular, mindfulness meditation, becomes a tool you can use throughout your life to boost your mental and physical wellness.
For many people, meditation is a, spiritual practice. It can allow you to feel closer to God and more connected to your faith. This transcendent state feels otherworldly.
Meditation, may also help kids learn to become more grounded and stable. You should begin practicing, mindfulness meditation, with your kids. Children benefit from the act of relaxing and concentrating. Practicing, mindfulness, can help them with their emotions, stress, anxiety, and feelings, just as it can for adults. Life is full of new feelings for children, and you may see an improvement in your child’s wellbeing after introducing, meditation.
People, meditate, for different reasons. While some do it as a religious practice, others practice for, self-development, a better sense of clarity, or just being still and hearing God. Many hope to feel more balanced and relaxed by lowering their stress levels. Whatever your reason, start by trying a few techniques to see which works best for you. Remember to give it time and have patience.
Many who start, mindfulness meditation, give up because they can’t quiet their minds, but like I said earlier a technique is to let the thoughts come and go, don’t fight them because the more you resist, the quicker they come back. With practice, you will be meditating like the, Buddhist monks, in no time.
Conclusion
So start your practice of being, mindful. Pay attention to your environment, the sensations in your body and start seeing the benefits.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna. I invite you all to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach for daily life coaching tips and strategies to live your best lives now.
A lot of times we become overwhelmed with the challenges we face in our lives. We can do one of two things; we can fold up like a flower at night or we can stand up push out our chest find our, courage, and declare. I was, born for this!
This is exactly what happened to, Queen Esther, in the, bible story.
King Xeroxes threw a banquet and for 6 months he celebrated with wine and food. He invited all the nobles from 127 province that he ruled over to attend this banquet.
In his drunken state he sent for his wife and demanded she appear before him in her robe and crown. He wanted to parade her around and show off her beauty to his subjects. She refused. That sent the king in a rage, and he asked his advisors what to do about her. They suggested he banish her forever from his presence because women all over the Kingdom would follow her and start to disrespect their men.
The king agreed and banished the queen, but now he needed a queen. So, they searched the country for the most beautiful virgins and brought them to the palace to be in the Kings, harem.
How women were prepared before they could sleep with the King
These women were prepared for one year before they were allowed to sleep with the king. In this year their skins were rubbed with the oil of myrrh for 6 months and the next 6 months their body was perfumed. Then after a year they would be sent to the king’s bed and would not get a chance again unless he was pleased with their performance and requested them again by name!
So, in those days the women in the, king’s harem, had to be beautiful smell like a fragrant garden and also had skills!! Wow! This was, life in harem.
Anyway, moving on with the story, Esther, had what the King wanted because not only did she please him and he sent for her by name several times, but he decided to make her his queen.
Now, Esther, was a, Jew, and she never told anyone. Her family was part of the, Jews, who were displaced when King Nebuchadnezzar banished the, Jews, from their homeland.
So, when her uncle heard that Haman was planning to destroy all the, Jews, on March 7 the following year, he asked, Queen Esther, to go before the king and ask for mercy.
Now, the king had a rule that anyone who appears before him in his inner court without being invited is doomed to die, unless the King holds out his golden scepter. The king had not sent for, Esther, in 30 days. Her uncle told her if she did not go to the King and beg for mercy for her people, she would be dead anyway then he added “Maybe you were, born for this!”
So, Queen Esther, found her, courage, and risking her life and appeared before the King uninvited. But when a man loves a woman, she can do no wrong. When, Queen Esther, appeared before the king in his inner court without being invited, the king welcomed her and held out his golden scepter then asked her
“What do you want Queen Ester? What is your request? I will give it to you, even if it is half my kingdom!
So it was that, Queen Esther, was responsible for saving her people the, Jews. Her, enemy, Haman was killed by the same trap he laid for Mordecai and all his sons and family was killed.
You Were Born For This: Lessons from Queen Esther's Story
The first lesson is that you were born with a, purpose, and you don’t know what it is until you know. You must find the, courage, to do it afraid because, you were born for this.
Whatever life events or circumstances that is trying to kill you, just remember, you were, born for this. Everything that you have done in your life have been training for this moment.
Esther, was born with great beauty, but, Queen Esther, was trained in how to please a man and how to ask for things from a man. She threw the King 2 banquets before she asked for her request and then she began with
“If I have found favor with the king and if it pleases the king to grant my request and do what I ask.”
Learn the, rules of engagement, Learn the, rules of negotiation, learn how to ask your husband for what you want.
The second lesson we can take from this story is that the, enemy, Satan and all his people go about seeking who to kill and destroy and you don’t have to do them anything for them to come after you. They can plot to destroy you because you refuse to bow down to them and placate their ego.
All you have to do to defeat your, enemies, is keep praying to God and he will take care of your, enemies, using the same weapons they formed against you to destroy them. Haman was killed on the same pole he planned to impale Mordecai on.
The, Jews, were victorious against their, enemy, and so will you because, you were born for this.
This is coach Myrna Young and this is, 5 min with coach Myrna, until next time God Bless.
You are invited to join my private Facebook Group called Lifecoach to be inspired by hundreds of Life Coaches every day
