Are All Sociopaths Predators? The Jeffrey Epstein Story

Psychopaths have no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five Americans, are secretly, sociopaths and so we have Jeffrey Epstein.

There are some subjects that fascinate me and one of them are, sociopaths.

This fascination began when I read the book the “Psychopath Next Door.”

This story was about a man who selected this woman because of her vulnerability.

Sociopaths, always chose their victims.

He actually knocked on her door one day and began a friendship with her, then he got her to move away from her friends and family to this remote house in England.

Sociopaths,  always want to get you away from your friends and family because friends and family strengthen us. Jeffrey Epstein, had his island in the Virgin Islands

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Welcome to Cotton For The Soul™ podcast, (www.cottonforthesoul.com) an up close and personal raw & unfiltered perspective on life experience of eating a plant-base diet. Spreading Good vibrations while living a minimalist lifestyle outside the matrix. Whether you have taken the pill of knowledge or the pill of blissful ignorance, thank you for tuning in from down the rabbit hole. Now, buckle your seat-belt because it's about to get real! We upload a new episode every Thursday

sociopaths in history Charles Manson
sociopaths in history Charles Manson

The definition of a Sociopath

This house in England was a beautiful large Victorian home. This man let’s call him Jim told this that  he inherited this property and had her suggest that they modernize the house with her money.

Later in the story after she had escaped with her life, she found out that the property was rented, it was a con to get her money.

Sociopaths, are liars.

Then Jim started abusing her, verbally and emotionally, then physically. He told her if she ever left him he would kill her. Every time she attempted to leave, he would find her and punish her. Finally in desperation she walked for miles in the freezing cold one night to someone's home and hid there.

Sociopaths, keep you in control with abuse. Remember the Robert R Kelly documentary? All the women said that he controlled them with physical abuse and punishment like starvation when they disobeyed his orders. Like going to the bathroom without getting permission

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Like I said, this story imprinted on my mind and since then I have been able to spot, sociopaths. Almost all of them are good looking and charming and they use this asset to reel in their victims.

Jeffrey Epstein, was also good looking and charming and was able to charm his way into getting jobs as a teacher and securities broker without having any of the necessary paperwork, because he dropped out of college.

Sociopaths vs Phychopaths

As a, sexual predator, they use this good looking charm to make women fall for them and after they get them emotionally tied, they switch from charming to becoming a monster.

Sociopaths, are also narcissistic. They can feel no emotions so they do unconscionable things without batting an eyelid.

Jeffrey Epstein, sexually abused hundreds of children for decades by luring them with $200. He knew that to a 14 year old $200 was a lot of money. If he ordered a call girl or prostitute the price for a massage and sex would be $2000 not $200; but then of course they wouldn't turn him on. Only young girls turned him on.

What is the difference between, sociopaths vs psychopaths? Sociopaths and psychopaths  are usually dishonest. In my story Jim swindled over a $100,000 from his victim to modernize a house that he didn't own.

Jeffrey Epstein, was also a thief. He stole $46 M from one of his employers and was fired from another for stealing.

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So to answer the question are all,  sociopaths, predators? I would say yes,  Sociopaths,  are always looking for their next victim. They may not be ALL in like, Jeffrey Epstein, and, Robert R Kelly; but they are, sexual  predators, who charm women, men and children out of whatever their prize is. There are, sociopaths, scamming old people out of their last dollar and have no remorse that these seniors have no funds left to live out their lives

sociopaths in history Jeffrey Dahmer
sociopaths in history Jeffrey Dahmer

The Sociopath next door

We are accustomed to think of, sociopaths, as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a, sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes, sociopaths, more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths, are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths, learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more, sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a, sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath, is beckoning, do not join the game.

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What is the difference between a, Sociopath, and a Psychopath?

I don't use either term, you're speaking about an, antisocial personality disorder.   Several people in our lifetime like Jeffrey Dahmer's and other individuals like, Jeffrey Epstein,  can be diagnosed with, antisocial personality disorder.  The reason why I use that term,  a psychological perspective and diagnostic criteria is attached to that term.

There are seven diagnostic criteria that we would use in order to diagnose someone exhibiting, sociopath, behavior:

  • One there's a pervasive pattern as well as a disregard for and violation of the rights of others. This behavior starts occurring usually at the age of 15 years old.
  • Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest, as we saw with both, Jeffrey Epstein, and Robert R Kelly.
  • Deceitfulness very much so. Very easy for, sociopaths, to be deceitful.  Jeffrey Epstein scammed  a gentleman that he worked for out of millions of dollars.  He taught in a  school without the proper credentials.  He said he  went to certain schools and never attended the schools.
  • Repeated lying, some of these men even use aliases.  They scam others for their own profit.  Their personal profit and pleasure.
  • Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.
  • Irritability and aggressiveness as indicated by repeated fights or assaults
  • Reckless regard for safety of self and others. Consistent irresponsibility as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work, behavior or honor financial obligations.
  • Lack of remorse, indicated by being indifferent and to or rationalizing having hurt mistreated or stolen from another individual.

Are Sociopaths Narcissists?

Sociopaths are narcissists because they have no conscience, the barometer to tell you when you are doing wrong. I can imagine it may be a struggle for some, sociopaths,  so that's when they become, sexual predators. The sexual part of it with the, sexual predators,  become hard to control. It becomes an addiction.

I was actually very surprised when, Jeffrey Epstein,  did go to prison the first time for 18 months and he got himself out on a work permit, that he was still continued bringing women in to his office to have sex. The same behavior he was in prison for, he continued doing!

Ted Bundy did the same thing.  They incarcerated him and he escaped twice and continued the same behavior.  He continued the same exact behavior with those women, killing and murdering and having sexual encounters with them.

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That's part of the impulsive label.  I personally think that the reason, Jeffrey Epstein, did not stop or had no remorse is because he was wealthy. He didn't care about these women, he just cared about himself and his sexual desires. They called him, sociopath narcissist, you can call it, antisocial personality disorder,  all these different labels; but he knew what he was doing was wrong and he thought that he could buy his way out, and he did for quiet some time.

I was quite impressed that the first time, Jeffrey Epstein, was on trial, he had eight lawyers,  a team of eight lawyers! I am sure that cost him millions; but Robert R Kelly was poor.  I mean he couldn't even afford a proper lawyer so he's still in prison.

How are sexual predators created?

What is the, test for a, sociopath? Well that's a good intro to the, sociopaths vs Psychopaths,  and your  definition of,  anti-social Personality disorder.  How does that lead them to become, sexual predators?

I'm not just talking about, sexual predators, but the , sociopath narcissistic, piece where they have no conscience don't care about their victims, just into your fulfilling of their desires.  You mentioned Jeffrey Dahmer and you talked about Ted Bundy.  I'm assuming that you put them in this in this conversation, because they've also been diagnosed with, antisocial personality disorder, commonly called, sociopath.

These are mental health issues probably passed on from parents and grandparents. Some, sociopaths, develop after being abused as children.  Robert R Kelly was raped as a child by his aunt.

 

How would the women look for, sociopaths, out to take advantage of them?

  • Firstly, they don't want to trust. You want to be more cognizant of who you're trusting.
  • We want to be aware of someone asking you about your life in terms of your financial abilities.
  • You want to be more cognizant to the fact of strange men visiting your home.  Limit the frequency that they visit or stay in your home.  Visit their dwelling to see where they live.
  • See what their lifestyle is.  Talk to their family members don't even allow them to come to your home for at least 90 days after you meet them.

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How a sexual predator chooses his victims.

The, sociopath,  or the person with, antisocial personality disorder, always chooses their victims.

The documentary said that, Jeffrey Epstein, had the ability to read his victims  and offer whatever they wanted.

I have worked with families who had children that have been sexually assaulted.  In my first intake, my first conversation with the parents, I say to the parents that their child has the 50% likelihood of being sexually assaulted again because pedophiles tend to know. They can read them. They can either pick up on the fear or the vulnerability.

They choose their victims, Robert R Kelly looked for the women with weak minds. Jeffrey Epstein, looked for girls with no parental influence, were poor or needy.

Young females have to be vigilant because people will try to manipulate them and do things to them to get them to perform sex acts.  Someone gave, Jeffrey Epstein, three twelve-year-old girls as a birthday present.  You saw some of the images of some noted men today some powerful men including Prince Andrew who hung out with, Jeffrey Epstein, they partook of these young girls.  Some of them had daughters of that same age. So mothers look out for your daughters.

I tell parents it's okay to be quote-unquote a helicopter parent.  It's okay to not let your kids spend the night over someone's house. It's okay to be a hands-on face-to-face with your kid till they are at least 18 going into college.

If you value your child's life and you do not want your child to be fractured into pieces as a result of this trauma from a, psychopath, be vigilant.  I work in the education field right now and there are people that will become educators or social workers on campuses or they'll work with the children because they know they have access to be with them alone with children.

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Dr  Tra Ahia you mentioned that you have some classes that speak to this topic for women.

You are all invited to join my Facebook group called Life Coach, and of course please subscribe, rate and review this podcast on iTunes. 

Additional Resources

 

 

 

 

Paradigm Shifts that can Heal Racism in America

Dr Jeff Gusky shares paradigm shifts that must occur, for America to heal after the, COVID 19, pandemic and Systemic, racism. Paradigm shifts are vital to our safety and recovery in America. These paradigm shifts could restore humanity and save America from destruction.

Dr. Jeff Gusky is a board-certified emergency physician now in the front lines against COVID 19.  Dr. Gusky is also a renowned National Geographic photographer and Explorer his discoveries and photographs are now featured at the Smithsonian National Museum of African American history and culture. He found a secret hidden for over a hundred years that should change the way we see, racism, in America.

We open our eyes to the danger of the indoor air we breathe and, COVID 19

The air we breathe is an invisible killer. The, COVID 19, coronavirus spreads like wildfire because of the dryness of indoor air.  We spend 90% of our lives indoors and the right humidity saves lives.

There is a simple plan that makes invisible danger, visible and that is a device called a Hygrometer. Indoor humidity is between 50 and 60 percent, so I believe that this is the most important public health measure.

Americans can do right now because it helps to prevent small viral outbreaks from becoming massive viral bombs.  Property humidity will save lives and will get America back to work sooner and safer.

It is almost like a bulletproof vest for our respiratory tract. We have mucous membranes that goes from the tip of our nose and our mouth all the way deep into our lungs and what lines our mucous membranes; but mucus when the air is dry is impaired.  It dries out and cracks and pathogens like, COVID 19,  can get into our bodies.

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I like to say, It’s the weather stupid! Because it turns out that outdoor weather affects indoor air. We know about humidity because we get the relative humidity from the weather forecast; but that has nothing to do with indoor humidity.  It turns out that indoor air is bone-dry  and that is why the, COVID 19, virus spreads in nursing homes.

The tragedy of nursing homes is also the problem with inner cities.  The inner city poor are also affected. In both situations you have high population density indoors and dangerously dry indoor air acts like an accelerant.  You should go out and you buy on Amazon or Walmart a digital hygrometer. They only sell  for like $12 or $14.  a digital hygrometer  is a little device that gives you a real-time readout of your indoor humidity.

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To learn more or schedule a time to talk, visit: www.dotlogics.com

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Paradigm shift  – Addressing, Systemic Racism,  in America.

This podcast interview was recorded before the murder of, George Floyd, by a Police Officer in Minnesota. Dr Gusky said in this interview long before the entire world got to see a black man’s life ebb away while the Police Officer just continued to kneel on his neck for close to 9 mins, killing him. So it is surreal that a White man said that we need  a paradigm shift  to save America from self-destruction because of, racism. Dr Gusky said when we belief in each other, healing race is possible.

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The paradigm shifts that must occur in America to remove, systemic racism, are the following:

  • We must remove racist ideas.  A racist idea is an idea that one race is superior to another.  It is removing White supremacy. All races are created equal in the eyes of God.
  • Systemic racism, reveals itself when White people feel that they are superior and that, Black Lives Don't Matter.  Black Lives Matter, Brown Lives Matter, All Lives Matter

  • We must remove racist policies. A racist policy is any policy that leads to inequality and Systemic injustice Like the police officers profiling Black men or employers not hiring Blacks because they feel like they are lazy. Just one of the stereotypes that contributes to, racism in America.
  • We must become Anti-Racists and not just call ourselves, non-racist. A non-racist does nothing.  A racist has racist ideas or racist policies by action or thought.   A racist idea is is any idea that promotes that one group is better than another group it promotes racial hierarchy so the opposite of that is that is not non-racist but Anti-Racist. There is no middle ground.  
Racism in America - How to become an Anti-racist
Racism in America – How to become an Anti-racist

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As an explorer, Dr Gusky found a secret hidden for over a hundred years that should change the way we see, racism in America.  It's a dignity story about African-American heroes who faced down a frightening infectious disease pandemic during the Spanish-American war and won their courage back. They were a shining example of how we can win against the, COVID 19,  pandemic we are facing now. In crisis we should see differently,  we shouldn’t see race, because the virus doesn’t see race. It kills Black, White, Yellow and Brown alike. So we should see A human race. Two African American patriots who lived more than a century ago, show us what it means to be an American.  When we face extreme danger together,  and trust in each other, it is the glue that gets us through.

Dr Gusky found a hidden world from world war 1, that was basically unknown to the outside world.  These were underground cities, hidden beneath the former trenches with tens of thousands of soldiers. One of these places turned out to be the only trace of an African American combat unit.  These discoveries are now featured in the exhibit at the SNM of African American history and culture near the White House.  The exhibit will probably be there through September.

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We got, racism, wrong in America and  we now have a second chance to get, racism, right.  This black unit was the only all African-American unit in the US military with all black soldiers and all black officers and  they fought been together for America for 49 years.  The story shows African American political power and self-determination that had existed long before Dr. Martin Luther King was born.

The sad news is that we are still fighting for racial equality in this nation.  It has been 40 years since the march at Selma over the bridge and we as Black people are still marching over bridges, protesting and the White supremacist still don’t see us as human. We have been saying, black Lives Matter, for decades.  We have shouted it from the pews in churches, we have shouted it in marches, we have shouted it in congress and they turn a deaf ear.  Now since, George Floyd’s death, they are finally listening.

Racism, it's not an intellectual thing it's a visceral thing.  The Civil War was the beginning of a long difficult journey to demand the end of, racism in America, but America got stuck along the way because it benefited them financially to keep their, knees on our neck!

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Paradigm shift – Radical Transparency in the media.

A  new approach to protecting free speech while protecting society from human predators who manipulate media to incite fear and rage during times like now, when people are vulnerable angry and afraid.  I've witnessed the dangers of mass media without transparency in a very personal way.  I was the first fine art photographer to go behind the former Iron Curtain and documented the hidden world of the Holocaust after the fall of the Berlin Wall.  I've walked the ground remote corners of Europe and the former Soviet Union where millions were murdered in modern times because no one stopped a few bad people from turning civilized nations into weapons of mass destruction using media. So mass media without transparency gives people with a pathological essence of conscience, like  the Harvey Weinstein's of the world.  Unimaginable power to do evil and they all use the same tired old formula of myths amplified by media to incite rage and crowds for power.

Predators love media, because it gives them enormous power over the rest of us while concealing who they really are and what they're really up to.

The paradigm shift only works when transparency doesn't work because when media has no checks and balances, we have almost no way of knowing when it's fake news.

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Dr Gusky is  a professional speaker I'm represented by National Geographic speaker's bureau.  If anyone wants to have me come speak or even online they can contact National Geographic speaker's bureau or  online at www.JeffGusky.com. and if they can if the are  in Washington before September please stop by the Smithsonian exhibit.

If you have not done so yet, please rate, review and subscribe to the Transform Your Mind podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast. I also want to invite you to join my private Facebook group called Life Coach.

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Additional Resources 

8 Minutes and 46 Seconds: How George Floyd Was Killed in Police Custody

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

Coronavirus: How to Protect Yourself

Celebrating Black Love Introducing BlackdateBox

Love, is a spirit and if you speak to love it will return back to you when you call it. Black Love, is no different; but we need to change the narrative because, Black women, deserve, love.

I think that, love, is waiting for everyone to be silent, so that, love, can speak for itself.

Today we are celebrating, black love.  My guest is Lisa Kimberle author of “500 ways to celebrate black love”

Here is the synopsis of 500 ways to celebrate, Black Love

500 ways to celebrate, black love, provides an accelerating approach to, black love, relationships. Love coach and enthusiast Lisa Kimberle gets candid through personal reflection in hope of inspiring real, black love, stories.  This is her, love story, a story filled with passion and discovery that led her to a wonderful fulfilling, black love, relationship.  This is a, black love book, and it introduces the, blackdatebox, a subscription box created with love for all relationship stages. Black love box, asks the question, what is, black love?  It celebrates, black love, and highlights black owned businesses and retailers.

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Why did you write the book “500 ways to black to celebrate, black love?”

For me it all started from my personal journey.  What I was personally going through in my, love story.  I was in a relationship and everything seemed right, we were very compatible.  It seemed like it was love at first sight, and then when we further got in the relationship, we discovered that we just were not meant to be together.  He was not a bad person or anything like that; but it was for someone else, it wasn't for me and we were both totally fine ending the relationship. It was a three year journey that I spent discovering, what is black love.

I started researching family history and I discovered things and thoughts that existed within the family passed down from my grandparents and from my parents.  One of the interesting things that I discovered about my grandmother was that for whatever reason my grandmother hated relationships.  I kind of discovered during the journey about, black love, and what to do to break your patterns,  because these patterns are cyclical and runs for generations.

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I don't know your, love story; but I know as a,  Life coach,  I know women who cycle from abusive relationships into new abusive relationships. That’s their pattern, and they keep going into those relationships. They don't look for them,  but it just happens.  So what you're saying is exactly what happens, we all attract the same kind of man and it's something unconsciously that we're doing.  You traced your pattern and you found that it came from parental influence.

The second thing I discovered when I began researching, black love,  is that the internet portrayed, black love relationships, as nonexistent. I bumped into articles such as the one in Marie Claire magazine titled “Marriages are for white people”  and then when I read the article it goes further on to explain how, marriage, isn't for, black women!

So now I am dealing with the generational belief passed down from my parents and grandparents, then it’s the societal belief that, black women, does not deserve, love.

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Is, Black Love, different than White Love?

No, Love, is a spirit and it does not define color. But as, black women, we have some challenges to find fulfilling black, love story. After my 3 year relationship went  sour, I really wanted to help, black women, find that perfect, love story. Since I couldn’t find any, black love books, I decided to write one.

I believe that, love, is a spirit and if you speak to, love, it will return back to you when you call it.

I think that, love, is waiting for everyone to be silent, so that love can speak for itself.

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Beauty lies within us all, allowing us to bloom in the dark and overcome any obstacle.
Just like the lotus flower.
Visit our store and discover all we have specially prepared for you. We have the most complete store where you can find high quality products at the best prices.
Our website is , www.lotusflowerbeautysupply.com, dare to show the world your inner and outer beauty.  Follow us in Instagram @lotusflowerbeautysupply,

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What are 3 of the 500 ways to celebrate. Black love?

  • Wholeness before pleasure.
  • Becoming best version of ourselves. That’s discovering who you are.
  • Becoming the best version of us as a black race.

In a Unhealthy Relationship? Should you Stay or Go.

What is Quantum Water Leaping and how does this celebrate, Black Love?

Black Couples, Quantum Water Leaping is utilizing water as a representation of life. I believe that water is life and so if it's used as a representation to cleanse out the old, love story, whatever that is,  whether it's past relationships, marriages, things that you haven't forgiven yourself for concerning past relationships or anything thing that can hinder your, black love relationship. Black couples, are using that water and jumping into like a new, love story. It’s a quantum leap.

Black Couples, Quantum Jumping is all about strengthening, black love relationships, because it is very true that relationships breakup because we're carrying baggage. Leaping from one to the next is a perfect way to drop off your baggage!

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Author Betty Tucker shares the story of her life in her memoir, Don't Worry About The Mule Going Blind.  Betty Tucker came of age in Belle Glade, Florida, infamous for its poverty and violence. Her childhood was one of de-bili-ta-ting poverty, borne of racism, exploitive migrant labor, multiple rapes and other abuse, and chronic illness among her family and acquaintances … the list is long and bitter. Betty moved to California, earned her College  degree, and raised a family. Then, in 1997, she began a long and eventually successful search for the twin girls she had given up for adoption thirty years earlier.
Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind is a book about Fear, insecurity, sexual abuse, and neglect: This memoir will look beyond the description of these difficulties in the author's life to examine how she acquired the tools she needed to take more control of her life, and what decisions impacted her choices.  Pick up your copy today! Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind now available on Amazon.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

How does the, Blackdatebox, Help, Black Love Relationships?

The, blackdatebox,  or, black love box, is a quarterly subscription, love box,  that was created to celebrate, black love. We celebrate, black love, depending on the season such as Christmas and other holidays or occasions that, black couples, wants to celebrate.  For example there is a quarantine, love box.

It has most of what you need to create a date at home and while you're on the stay at home experience, you will kindle a deeper level of communication, a deeper level of, love.

The, black love Box, comes with the rose petals and the candles and whatever you need to create a romantic date.

We are coming into summer so the summer celebration, blackdatebox, 2020 has fireworks inside the box.  There's two different boxes for the summer celebration because some, black  couples, may want to have a daytime date, so I have a brunch box.  I work with a chef she lives in Alabama her name is Erika Barrett she makes these excellent pancakes, so she's one of the African American business that are featured in the box. The, blackdatebox,  comes with decorations for the ambiance and  all the, black couples, have to do is add the feelings of, love!

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I also have a product that is amazing.  It's a game with miracle berries and they're actually from Ghana and some people have taste tripping parties.

You take these berries and they're intact in form and then they dissolve on your tongue.  You have to let it dissolve for about 10 minutes, once it dissolves and you suck a lemon or a lime it is going to turn everything that you're tasting, sweet.  It's an amazing experience.

When somebody goes out and purchases your book, what do you hope that they will come away with?

I'm hoping that my readers get inspired and more empowered.  I'm hoping that it will inspire them to their own self journey to finding, black love,  and discoveries of their family history that could be blocking, black love. I want to change the narrative of, black love, and society.  I want my book to be a form of mental jogging.

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Order your Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

How do you advise women to set their intention for, black love?

Whenever you have good intentions for being in a relationship then you will manifest those intentions. One way to set intentions is with daily affirmations. Some of these affirmations are:

  • I am loved
  • I am black and lovable
  • I am black excellence

If your intentions are that you want, love, because of loneliness,  change your intentions. Your purpose for wanting a relationship must be because you have something to give, not want. If you set your intentions in a good way then you'll receive good results. Call, love, and it will come!

I pray that everyone every listener, every reader of my book that this will be the best year of, Black love, or any other love for them. I just want to pray that, Love, Finds them from the north, the South, the east and the West.  I just want to pray that they receive total healing.

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Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/find-your-soulmate-science-of-attraction/

https://myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/

 

Life Leadership & Success

Scott Miller, author and EVP at Franklin Covey, shares tips on, leadership,  relationships, efficiency, vs, effectiveness, and how to straight talk to your employees as well as family and friends.

Scott serves as the executive vice president of thought leadership at Franklin Covey, is the host of multiple podcasts including Franklin Covey's on leadership and, Great Life Great Career Podcast.  He's also Wall Street Journal's bestselling author of “Everyone Deserves a Great Manager, the Six Critical Practices for Leading a Team”

What has the book ” 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” taught you about, Leadership?

I have had the privilege of being in the Franklin Covey company which of course was co-founded by Dr. Stephen R. Covey who wrote the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” that, leadership, book has sold 40 million copies.

I wrote “Management Mess to, Leadership, success” because quite frankly my life's been a mess. Not because you are an executive or an author or parent means you are a success automatically.   I wrote the book because I wanted to share with readers that owning your mess is really the first step to becoming a success.

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Recognizing the difference between having an, effectiveness, mindset and an, efficient, mindset.  One of the biggest messes that I've had to conquer was recognizing when am I in an, effectiveness, mindset and when I should be in an efficient, mindset; because they're not the same factors.

I'm a very, efficient, person, I get up at 4:00 am in the morning, I write my column, I write a couple chapters on the books that I'm writing. On a Saturday morning I would get up at five o'clock, go to Home Depot and buy flowers and have them planted by six o'clock.  Be at the car wash by 7 am, be at tennis by nine.  I mean I live a very productive and, efficient, life. That's helped me in a lot of areas of my life; but it hasn't helped me in my relationships, because as Dr. Covey said

With people, slow is fast, and fast is slow.

We cannot be, efficient, in our relationships.

So one of the biggest areas of growth for me was with people. I had to learn to slow down. When someone comes into my office, I  take off my glasses, close my laptop and turn off my phone. I have to really understand when and where can I be, efficient, and when and where should I practice, effectiveness.  If you want to develop more trustworthy, long-lasting, mutually beneficial, relationships, be more cognizant of when you're being, efficient, and fast and when you're being, effective, and slow.

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I think it's good advice to, leaders, to be a little more, self-aware, and introspective.  Is your need to be, efficient, in some areas of your life negatively impacting other areas in your life?

Use Communication to become, Self-Aware.

It is all about, communication, because when you are being, efficient, you're probably not being, effective, because it all depends on your audience.

Self-awareness, I use this term a lot.  Everybody could benefit from being more, self-aware.

  • Ask yourself – what's it like to be your friend?
  • What's it like to be your husband?
  • What's it like to be your neighbor

I'd encourage all of your readers, if you really want to improve your relationships, if you want to improve your influence expand your credibility and become more trustworthy or likable, go ask the people in your life what's it like to be in a meeting with you.

  • What is it like to be on a carpool with you
  • What's it like to go on vacation with you
  • What's it like to be at dinner with you
  • What's it like to be married to you.

When someone gives you that feedback, don't refute it don't brush it away.

Don't blame anybody else, just listen.

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Beauty lies within us all, allowing us to bloom in the dark and overcome any obstacle.
Just like the lotus flower.
Visit our store and discover all we have specially prepared for you.
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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

What, communication skills, are important to, leadership, success

Let's talk about, leadership, and then this broaden it to a straight talk between peers.  Talking straight is really a sign of respect to everyone in your life.  We've all met people who say they call it as they see it, that is actually quite selfish.  Talking straight is when you are able to base what you're saying in fact.  When you talk straight with someone, you don't postulate, you don't pontificate,  you don't technically tell the truth, but you kind of leave the wrong impression.  No you just you say straight up what is true.

As a life coach, I would use something called the, sandwich technique,  which means that you package that talk with something positive like a sandwich.

sandwich feedback method
sandwich feedback method

I would not advocate the, sandwich feedback method. I think it's generally disingenuous. I think the better technique is to first declare your intent, because the moment there is suspicion about your intent, everything you do becomes tainted.  So be very clear on what your intent is. Say what is uncomfortable straight, no chaser without any bogus compliments and no hidden agenda.

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Author Betty Tucker shares the story of her life in her memoir, Don't Worry About The Mule Going Blind. Betty Tucker came of age in Belle Glade, Florida, infamous for its poverty and violence. Her childhood was one of de-bili-ta-ting poverty, borne of racism, exploitive migrant labor, multiple rapes and other abuse, and chronic illness among her family and acquaintances … the list is long and bitter. Betty moved to California, earned her College  degree, and raised a family. Then, in 1997, she began a long and eventually successful search for the twin girls she had given up for adoption thirty years earlier. Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind is a book about Fear, insecurity, sexual abuse, and neglect: This memoir will look beyond the description of these difficulties in the author's life to examine how she acquired the tools she needed to take more control of her life, and what decisions impacted her choices.

Pick up your copy today! Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind now available on Amazon.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

How to become a, Leader,  people will follow

The first step to becoming a great, leader is to check their own paradigms, our own belief systems.  We all have deeply entrenched, deeply enculturated paradigms that were built into us by our grandparents, our parents, our aunties, our first grade teachers, our neighbors, our relatives and it is how we see the world. How we see ourselves and everyone should be emotionally nimble, or emotionally flexible enough to challenge your belief systems.

Women in Leadership
Women in Leadership

Here's a great example:

I am 51 years old, I'm Caucasian.  I live in Salt Lake City, but I lived in the 70s in Central Florida, Orlando Florida. I am  from an upper middle-class white family,  one of two children.  My mother was a full-time stay-at-home mom, my father had a fairly traditional corporate job.  It was a stable family in the seventies and I was raised to believe that, doctors, police officers, and Catholic priests were always right and always told the truth!

Can you imagine for a moment that had I been eight year-old young boy and an altar server and that a Catholic priest who was perhaps a pedophile told me to do some inappropriate  things?

I think the first step in becoming a, leader, of your own self, your own life is to challenge your own paradigms.  You don't see every situation, every argument, every interaction, every meeting, every conflict, every win, every lost accurately;  you always have a little bit of a judgment on it.

We don't see the world as it is, we see the world as we are.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How does “carrying your own weather” help  with, Leadership, Success.

Proactive, leaders, carry their own weather, reactive people give over there weather. They metaphorically give their power to other people.  Proactive people choose their response to any situation, any crisis, any reaction based on values,  not based on other people.

Here's a great example of, carrying your own weather.

My son and I were in Miami and we came upon this intersection in a downtown shopping district where there had just been an accident.  There was no injuries, very small accident.  There was this young woman, I'm gonna say in her 20s who was having this outrageous, hysterical, verbal meltdown. I mean she was out of control.  This person was not, carrying her own weather, she was giving up control of her emotions to that situation. Being out of control was serving her no benefit.  The point of that story was people who are proactive, they're calm, they're rational, they don't let other things influence their own responses.

Leaders who “carry their own weather” move from mess to success.  They put space between stimulus and response. When someone says something to them that pisses them off,  they don't immediately lash out to them.

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Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

What sets your book apart from other, leadership,  and management books

I wrote this book was with very clear intention,  I've been privileged to have my entire career dedicated in the, leadership, development industry. I worked  for years with the Disney Company and now almost 25 years with the Franklin Covey company and learned a few things; but I have always struggled with a lot of these management and, leadership, practices.  Like you I host a podcast and interview guests every week, I read close to 70 books a year and I wanted to write a different kind of, leadership, book because most, leadership, books are written by fortune 500 CEOs or academic professors and they're kind of hard to relate to.  I wanted to write a really real raw and relatable book where regardless of what role I was in, anybody in their career and their personal life could relate to a lot of my own struggles.

So the book is kind of uproariously funny, it's very raw and blush.  I shared a lot of my own messes in the book not because I was trying to be funny gratuitously, I just wanted to validate everybody that, leadership, is hard whether you are a formal or informal leader.  It didn't come naturally to me and so the challenge is based on Franklin Covey’s research, that if you can get your arms around these 30 principles, you will transform your influence in your relationships and your career.  It's kind of aligned with a month, 30 practices in 30 days.  You can take one every day get your groove on.

I was privileged to co-author a second book called “Everyone Deserves a Great Manager, the Six Critical practices for leading a team,” that's also on Amazon.

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economic survival
economic survival

Connect with Scott Miller at Franklin Covey on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.

I want invite you guys to join my private Facebook group called, life coach, there you can get daily tips and strategies to live in your best life now not only from me but from all the members of the group. Also please subscribe to the podcast and leave an iTunes review.

Additional Resources

https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/how-to-control-your-emotions-so-your-emotions-dont-control-you.html

 

Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

 

 

 

How to Survive an Economic Collapse

To survive the, economic collapse, first thing I would say you need to do is you're going to have to acknowledge where you are financially. The beauty of an, economic, downturn is that  there are more successful people created during a period of, economic collapse, than any other times. The, economic collapse 2020, is no different.

My guest today is Solomon Ali author of “The Empowered Wealth Bible” and “Economic Survival” and we're going to be talking today on “How to survive an, economic, collapse because I think we're heading to an, economic, collapse.

Introduction to How to Survive an Economic Collapse

Solomon, I'm very curious to hear your backstory, how did you become an expert on, economic, conditions?

Immediately after high school, I went into the military.  I went to a predominantly white high school and my guidance counselor said I had good GPA; but they never directed me to go to college or university,  so I went straight into the military.  I made it to the rank of sergeant and learned how to manage people and how to build a team.

When I got out of the military and went home, I couldn't find a job, common story.  So I started helping my parents clean up their rental properties.  I ended up organizing the cleaning crews. We became a mobile company, cleaning up apartments, painting them, doing minor repairs so that the apartments could be ready for the next tenant to move in.  I had a team of people structured like an assembly line.  We had people come and do the masking of everything.  We would mask off four or five apartments at one time. The next group would come in and they would clean the tubs and the toilets, and the next guy would come in and paint it. Then someone would come back and take all the masking tape off, vacuum and shampoo the carpets and we were done.

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Author Betty Tucker shares the story of her life in her memoir, Don't Worry About The Mule Going Blind.

Betty Tucker came of age in Belle Glade, Florida, infamous for its poverty and violence. Her childhood was one of de-bili-ta-ting poverty, borne of racism, exploitive migrant labor, multiple rapes and other abuse, and chronic illness among her family and acquaintances … the list is long and bitter.

Betty moved to California, earned her College  degree, and raised a family. Then, in 1997, she began a long and eventually successful search for the twin girls she had given up for adoption thirty years earlier.

Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind is a book about Fear, insecurity, sexual abuse, and neglect: This memoir will look beyond the description of these difficulties in the author's life to examine how she acquired the tools she needed to take more control of her life, and what decisions impacted her choices.

Pick up your copy today! Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind now available on Amazon.

Now that is, economic, survival. Surviving the rental income business.  That sounds like the best structured management cleaning that I have ever heard, and I do property management as a Realtor!

We had over 70 people on our team. We went from zero revenues, to a little over 6 million in 12 months! But I was not able to collect all my money.  I had all these accounts receivables and I had payroll that was coming up.  So I got on my knees and prayed one night and I was talking to God, and the next day I'm looking in the LA Times and I see a company advertising for accounts receivables loans.  I called the guy and left a message on Sunday he calls me promptly on Monday morning and he went over everything. I made the trip to San Bernardino, California and got a check for $380,000. He bought all my $500,000 accounts receivable accounts.

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That was my first lesson on, economic, survival in the form of risk management.  You do not want to have a huge concentration of your business coming just from one or two customers, you want to make sure that your company it's more diversified.

That is what I do today. I consult companies on how to survive, economic collapse, or downturns because they come about every 10 years. I teach them how to scale, how to grow, and how to access the finance world.  In other words how to arrange capital, so they can do their roll-ups for this , economic collapse 2020.

We check out the competition and then we begin to set up what I call mirroring.  We design a program that fits my client so that they can grow and scale their business and we're able to access capital for them.  I may have private equity companies that I have arrangements with and I get very passionate about helping others fulfill their dreams.

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What does your book “The Empowered Wealth Bible” teach us about, Economic Collapse 2020?

That book speaks in reference to the different tricks of the trade, how you survive, economically, and raise the capital for your business. It teaches you how to use personal credit and credit cards.

It is extremely helpful to the new entrepreneur trying to fund his business as well to the mother wanting the best for her family.

There is one chapter in the book where we talk about how we could take your credit card money's right from your credit cards and apply it to your mortgage and rotate that around cutting the interest rate on your mortgage and shortening the time period.  The book also shows you how to start a business with very little to no money and still be okay in an, economic collapse. Things like that, it is all about, economic, survival.

I started my private equity company back in 2009, I started with two hundred and fifty dollars and by the end of a year or so I was making millions of dollars.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

In Les Brown's new book “You got to be hungry” you must be hungry for success. You must be hungry  to achieve your set goals and work your strategies to achieve, economic, survival.

We are now smack in the, coronavirus, pandemic and the, economic collapse 2020.   Companies are closed, millions of people have lost their jobs and everybody is scared about their future.  It's really interesting that you had the premonition to write the book, Economic Survival, before we faced an, economic, collapse.

I understand we are heading into a recession even a depression.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

https://www.irs.gov/coronavirus/non-filers-enter-payment-info-here

 

How would we survive economically if the US, economy, was to go into, economic collapse 2020?

Firstly,  I'm going to say we're already in a recession. Our, economy, is already seeing an, economic collapse 2020. We haven't saw seen all the manifestations of what's going to happen, but anytime you shut down businesses state by state, you're losing your, economic, base within those states.  So all of these businesses shutting down resulted in I think as of today there's over 37 million people filing for unemployment.

Let's put that in perspective, that's not counting the people who are self-employed, who are not able to file for unemployment.  So you have to add millions or more to that number, that's not also counting the people who are just giving up and not looking for work. That’s millions more.

I predict that the US unemployed will be closer to about 60 or 70 million by the 3rd quarter. I predict we will see an, economic collapse.

I'm going to Segway  over to the African American businesses.  On average there's approximately five million businesses existing in the United States with ten or more employees.

African American companies there are only about one hundred thousand or so with ten or more employees.  That's a big and significant difference between five million to a hundred thousand.  That tells us that the majority of us, African-Americans,  are working for other people and those jobs are no longer going to be there in the future.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Small businesses create the majority of the jobs, however your larger companies employ more people.  So when you place all this in perspective African Americans are not going to have anywhere to go and will suffer more from an, economic collapse.

Here are some strategies on surviving an, Economic Collapse:

  • To survive the, economic collapse, first thing I would say you need to do is you're going to have to acknowledge where you are financially. The beauty of an, economic, downturn is that  there are more successful people created during a period of, economic collapse, than any other times. You have to solve someone else's problem, you have to be of service to someone,  so that now you have people looking for you because you become in demand.

New businesses will be created like, AirBnb, created in the 2009 financial crisis.

We are losing millions of businesses but new businesses are created during an, economic collapse.

  1. After you solve someone's problem is you have to educate yourself. You have to remove the fear, because fear will paralyze you.  Once you remove the fear you will be able to go out and help someone else.
  2. A lot of people that have the employee mindset will have to switch because they are not going to do well. Unfortunately our, economy,  and, economic survival, depends on developing an entrepreneurial mindset.  We're going to be living in the, economy,  where a job no longer exists.  You're going to be a subcontractor, you're going to be an independent .
  3. You have to look at where are you today financially and reset your priorities. Instead of loosing your home in the, economic, downturn because you lost your job, maybe your parents have a room you could live in and you could rent your house. You're going to have to be willing to do what is necessary for, economic survival.
  4. Immediately begin to renegotiate your debt so that you can have more cash flow.
  5. Diversify – you may have to do some joint ventures with other companies or other people.

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Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Conclusion

How do you think the Real Estate Market will fare in this, economic collapse 2020?

I think we're about to see by the last quarter of this year a lot of foreclosures will begin to take place.  I believe a lot of people will begin to lose their homes.

For those investors who have the cash flow and the ability to buy, they will be able to pick up properties at a significant discount, because the banks are going to have to give rid of those assets off of their books.  Credit lines will be cut by the end of the third quarter.  I'm pretty sure maybe even at the beginning of the third quarter the credit lines will begin to get cut, which will have a trickle effect on the, economy.

What we do know is that our, economy,  is not coming back anytime soon.  We may have as many as 60 million people unemployed.  People don't have any reserves and if you don't have any reserves at the beginning of the, economic collapse, then what is going to happen after you have been unemployed for a year.  Robert Kawasaki, of Rich Dad Poor Dad,  was saying that what you do is you find out your runway for your business or personal life. How much money you have in the bank to take care of the essentials, housing, food and transportation?

Robert is  absolutely right.  We were all taught to have six months of reserves,  but if the last, economic collapse, in 2009 taught us anything, is that it took people 18 months on average to get a job so we were wrong saying to have six months of reserves,  you need to literally have two years of reserves. Most don’t even have one month.

How does Private Equity Investing help with, economic survival?

I love private equity, I love loaning out money and helping people to fulfill their dreams.

I have a passion right now for minority businesses. There's approximately 13,000 publicly traded companies all together but, there's only 13 black publicly traded companies currently.  I sat on the board of directors of three and I was Officer of three all at the same time, where I was responsible to help them raise the capital they needed to, survive economically. The companies that I helped, they were not only successful they became in the top 5 companies.

To purchase any of Solomon Rc Ali books or for consulting services visit his website

https://www.solomonrcali.info/ follow him on twitter and Instagram and Facebook @supportsolomon.

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

https://www.learnhowtobecome.org/entrepreneur/

 

 

 

Your Talent is Already in your Hand

Use, what's in your hand, God pre-loaded you with the, talent, you need to be successful in life.  You were created with a purpose; God gave you the skills and, talent, you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.

What's in your Hand?

Moses was just like most of us. We don't believe that we have, talent, or that we were born with anything God can use to build his kingdom. But God interrupted this lie. Moses was hitting 80 years old, he was ready to retire. You know, settle down with the grand kids and rock on his front porch.

But there’s a bush that is burning and Moses’ life was about to get flipped upside down. God called to Moses from the burning bush and asked Moses to go to the Pharaoh and tell him to let my people go.

Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you’?” Then the Lord said to him, “What's in your hand,?” “A staff,” he replied. The Lord said, “Throw it on the ground.” Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it.” [Ex. 4:1-3]

In Exodus chapter 3 , Moses had many doubts and many fears. He came up with tons of excuses. But God asked Moses, what's in his hand.

We know Moses had a shepherd’s staff in his hand, a dead thing. But then he laid it down and it became a snake. A dead thing became a living thing, and a dangerous thing at that. So dangerous in fact that Moses actually runs from it! God says to pick it again and it becomes a dead thing again.

Before we discover what God has created us for, we must be willing to lay down our income, lay down our status, lay down our perfection, lay down our finances, Don't eat your seed; lay down our children, lay down our relationships, lay down our self-pursuits to discover our God given, talent. 

Just like God told Moses, I believe God is telling people today to lay it down. Will you not lay down your identity? Many of us are defined by our job, our education, our financial status, or marital status. But Galatians 2:19 reminds us that, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” Yes, it’s no longer about me, but rather Christ who lives in me. God is saying, Let me be the one to give you identity and a meaningful life.

Stop asking when you are going to get your gifts or, talent, or calling and see, what’s in your hand.

But there’s a bush that is burning and Moses’ life is about to get flipped upside down.

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Before we find our passion and calling, we must be willing to lay down our influence and recognition.

The recognition of man pales in comparison to what God has called us to. God is asking if you’re willing to lay down our dead things so he can make them come to life. Many people are living lives that are dead; it feels comfortable and safe and controllable.

But when God gives us a vision for our life like He did with Moses, we’re able to see the power God has for us, the purpose he promises us, and the plan he wants for us. It might scare us. Some might even want to run away from because it’s terrifying and they won’t know how to handle the amazing things God has for them.

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What’s In Your Hand: Using Your God-given, Talent

Perhaps you’ve said “I want God to use me!” I know many believers who feel that way. Perhaps your daily life now seems quite monotonous and unimportant, and you wish that light-bulb moment would happen when you know you’re making a significant and lasting difference for His kingdom. You see others in the spotlight who God seems to be using in a big way, and you try hard to not allow envy to grow in your heart. Will you ever be able to use your God-given, talent, to their full potential?

Whenever a lasting desire shows up in the human heart I believe it’s evidence of the way in which God made us. Those desires often become distorted or are directed in unhealthy directions, but the desire is from God. Your desire to make a difference is proof that God made you for a reason, both for this life and for eternity. You and I will never feel completely satisfied until we fulfill the purpose for which He created us.

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But we’re not born with everything we need to fill the role for which God made us. The seeds are there, but in order to fill a role that’s big enough to qualify as God-sized, you and I need to grow up in all kinds of ways. And the way to get there is to begin using what’s in our hands right now.

In the Bible, Moses had spent forty years being educated in Pharaoh’s court, and another forty years on the back-side of the desert herding sheep. When God appeared to Him in the burning bush Moses felt ignored, beaten down, old, and anything but ready for some significant role in God’s plan. But God would hear none of His excuses.

When Moses complained that the leaders of Israel would not believe his incredible story of hearing directly from God, God asked him, “What’s in your hand,?” All Moses had was a shepherd’s staff, and God immediately demonstrated His miraculous power using that staff. (Exodus 4:1-5) It was with that very staff that God through Moses would later part the Red Sea, bring water out of a rock, and bring the Israelites victory over their foes in battle.

You have something in your hand right now as well. It may seem no more impressive than a shepherd’s staff, but it may be just the, talent, God needs to use in accomplishing His purpose.

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

Burning Bush, God appears to Moses 

Transform your Mind Podcast