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healthy relationships, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, personal development podcast, podcast, women

What Men Want In A Woman

August 15, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

Andre Paradis, relationship coach, shares insights on, what men want, and how to revert back to nature and polarity to make our relationships work. If you want to know how to have healthy fulfilling long-term relationships, listen to the end. What men want, is a woman who is sweet and lovely and warm and, feminine, and attractive and magnetic.

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Bio

Andre Paradis, is a Relationship Coach, NLP Coach, Educator of Effective Communications, Published Writer, Public Speaker, and Ordained Minister. Andre Grew up in Canada, and while on vacation in Los Angeles he was scouted and became a professional dancer. He has danced with legends including Michael Jackson, Prince, Paula Abdul, Julio Eglesias to name a few.

He then attended a workshop called “Understanding Women” in 2006 and started studying with some of the biggest relationship masters (Dr. Pat Allen, Dr. Esther Perel, Dr. John Gray, Shantie Feldhan and Alison Armstrong). He started sharing his knowledge with friends and family. He saw that this knowledge actually helped people lead happier lives with the people they love. He found his purpose in life… The Big Calling deep inside him. He then sold his successful Auto Shop and launched Project Equinox Coaching to help men and women learn to build stronger long lasting and healthy Love relationships. For some clients, He even officiate their weddings.

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Men are from Mars Women are from Venus

Myrna: I have a question about a book that I've read and I still have in my library. You said that you studied under Dr. John Gray who wrote the book. Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. What did you learn from studying with Dr. Gray about women?

Andre: Well, the bulk of his work has changed since the beginning from Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Dr Grey now explores men or women differences, like how we respond or act differently. What motivates a woman and what motivates a man and vice versa. The past 10 years though, the bulk of his work became the chemistry of our bodies that creates the behaviors that we do. So how does, estrogen, and, testosterone, affect our physiology.

A man's brain is full of, testosterone, the structure of his brain is similar to a woman, but the main mechanism is different, because it functions on a different fuel. This creates all kinds of behaviors, reactions, ways of operating and the, Hunter brain. The, Hunter brain, is about, conquering, competing, fighting, pushing, penetrating, you know, control everything that's in, Hunter brain. That's the paradigm of, testosterone, chemistry.

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Women's brains are soaked in Estrogen

So that's what’s Dr Grey’s work in past 10 years was all about that. The innate differences explained through chemistry. And for the lady is same thing similar brain soaked in, estrogen, creating a whole different machine, a whole different engine, with behaviors, reactions, temperament, blah, blah, blah. In our culture right now, everybody's about equality, so understanding the beginning of equality, the, feminist movement, equal rights equal pay equal opportunity, is important.

With equality a man should be more, feminine, more feminized, more vulnerable, more talkative, more sweet, more sensitive, to be a good man. A woman should be strong, independent, powerful at all costs, in order for her to be valued and valuable in the world. Well, there's a big huge price to pay for these shifts that are not natural. Everything I teach is Nature and Science and not my opinion. So, if you go back to nature, these things don't work very well.

If you consider now that relationships are the hardest thing for people to attain and sustain, where it should be the easiest because we have equality now, right? Well, no, the reason for this is what I teach. What's happening out there is women are more miserable. The women in our culture for the past 15 years, almost 20 years now actually, are more unhappy than ever in the entire history of mankind.

Myrna: That’s because they can't find a man.

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Why women can't find a man

Andre: And why is that right back to the same thing I'm talking about earlier. I'm so busy because my clients call me because they're realizing they're being sold a lemon that's exactly how they put it. They tell me I am a badass but that gets me absolutely nowhere with a man. Men don't ask me out and if I manage to get a date, he smiles and goes nice to meet you and I never see him again. I can't get past the first date. What is wrong with me? Like what is what's wrong with me? The answer is you're, masculinized, you're too manly for a man.

Myrna: I have so much circle backs in that don't get too far. When you were talking about the men and the woman, how the man is the hunter personality with the, testosterone, and the woman is supposed to be, feminine, but now women are bad asses and are not, feminine. So, the question I have, is that why there's a rise in, lesbian and gay relationships? Is that is the reason that those kind of relationships are blossoming, because at least you've got the same, estrogen, and, testosterone, levels.

Andre: Yeah, well, not the way you think. And I think if I'm reading your mind a little bit here right now, it's not quite that because men have always understood men better than their women. And the same with women, they understand each other better than men. But throughout history, that's actually the, polarity, that brought men and women together. So, that is not the problem. What is happening, is culture if we are going to peel the onion back.

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Latch Key Kids can't form relationships as adults

We have, latch key kids, who were not nurtured as kids so they can’t form relationships as adults. When you have children, babies, infants, toddlers, young people, young kids unable to bond with their own parents, they become anxious as far as in the relationship, anxious or avoidant in relationships. They've never been bonded to somebody who loves them, so they feel abandoned. The anxiety of puberty makes it even worse, and they will become young people who cannot create healthy bonds.

They just can't do it. Now what happens we talk about, gay and lesbian relationships, in the news, that new wave. A young girl needs so much nurturing connection emotionally, the, feminine, for mother, the young women who went without being with her mother will do it later in life with another woman. For men it’s a little bit different for men they turn into the part of them that's missing.

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Why men don't want badass women

Myrna: Is it true that's, badass women immediately get disqualified because she's gonna throw the fact that she makes more money than him in a man’s face?

Andre: You know, I'm sorry, but it's more energetic than that. If you're gonna be a, badass woman, and be a pain in the ass about it, like you push it in my face. That you are better than me. That is not the energy that men are looking for from women. That's a man on man. I always say ladies when you can be, badass, but if you're gonna throw your balls in my face, we're gonna have a problem. And that's what, badass women, do put their balls in everybody's face. They're so proud which is fine.

You can be proud of what you do, but when you lead with that, you're more, masculine, than, feminine. You're actually arrogant a lot of times, and for sure you're irritating. Absolutely freaking irritating. If you think men like to be irritated by women, this is not why they want to date you. They want to date you because you're sweet and lovely and warm and, feminine, and attractive and magnetic. Not irritating, not pushy, not controlling, not in my face. Not sitting there like go ahead, prove it your way.

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Men don't want women with bigger balls than them

So my clients, when they find out that men aren't finding them attractive and don't ask them out, they feel completely invisible. This is because your, balls, are bigger than his and that's irritating and off putting. You can have, balls, all you want, you need to be, masculine, to create anything to make money, but I say leave them, balls, in your desk drawer. When you get home and in public, you'd have to be a woman to attract men, otherwise they don't see you, you become invisible to men.

Myrna: So, the answer to that question is not all women that are making money and are, badass, just the ones that are throwing their, balls, in a man's face and leading with, masculinity.

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What men want in a women

What do men want? You said that one, a man wants a woman that's, feminine. Let's also touch on equality. Does a man want a woman that's making as much money as him? By the way, when I asked my husband that question, he says, I can become a kept man but not If you're gonna throw it in my face.

Andre: In my world, you could have a penis and not be a man. I believe there are three types of men:

The real man: They know who they are. They know, what men want. They hold themselves accountable for everything; they have character. They have competence, you can't mess with them. You can't fuck with them. You can't derail them. They're solid, they're strong. You can count on them all that stuff.
The second type of man is that guy who’s man enough to have a job, but it's a little job, he's not gonna have a good car, he drives a little shitty car and lives in the basement of his mother's house or he's got three roommates. No girlfriend and is silly. So, these guys are messy enough to do life. Small but okay. Except when it comes to women, they don't want to ask you out. They acquiesce and want to do whatever movie you want to go see. They are not sure, what men want.
The third kind of man are boys, they are passive and, feminine. They don't want to work. They want you to work. They're so happy that they are not paying for anything. They don't want to work, they're allergic to work. They're offended when you say, just man up. They look like boys. They're often very pretty because they are, feminine and want to attract women with their bodies. Their looks are lean and sexy. They absolutely don't know, what men want.

What men want: A feminine woman

We now raise men to be not, masculine, but soft, sensitive, passive, and that’s toxic. A real man scoops women up and say hey, I'm taking you out to dinner, seven o'clock and wear some good shoes, because we are going salsa dancing afterwards. But we shame them out of this. We say that's pushy.

What men want, is a, feminine woman. A, feminine woman, want a, masculine man. They don't want boys. Men that are boys are so smooth, they’ll tell you everything you want to hear in three days after meeting them! Oh, I think I found the one of my life, you are the one. So, he says all the right things for the first five or six weeks you finally think oh my God he is my soul mate.

He listens to me. He's curious about me I have someone to talk to. Next, you know, he's like moving to your house, borrowing your car because he can't afford to fix his piece of shit. You're walking his dog because he won't do it. You're lending him money that he promised to pay back, but he never does. You're working two jobs while he's sitting on the couch smoking a joint and spooning the dog.

Myrna: You're talking such truth! How do you get out of that relationship? Kick them to the curb?

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What men want, not a masculine woman

Andre: The terrible thing about this whole situation is when you, masculinize, women, this is the type of men they attract. They attract boys. I teach nature, it's all about, polarity. Opposites attract. We know this about everything. Right? Two magnets, positive and negative, try to push two positive magnets together, right? It doesn’t work. The, masculine man, is strong, independent, powerful, conquering, controlling, pushy, fighting, all that stuff and he attracts the, feminine woman, who is more passive. Because she's smaller and weaker, more passive and she needs a big strong guy.

It's the same all over nature. Like everything. There's a, polarity, there's two different pieces of a puzzle. that come together to complete a good dynamic. When a woman is more, masculine, and she's stuck there because of her up bringing or her culture. Her mother telling her you don't need that man. You can’t depend on men, so make sure you're independent and strong and get your own. So, when you raise, masculine women, that's what you attract, boys.

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The Badass woman: can she become feminine and get a man

All my clients that are strong, independent, powerful and they're, badass women, and they're so proud of it, are in relationships with boys, one after the other. So, if you want a, masculine man, to provide, and protect, you have to be the opposite, feminine, to the core. I help my clients, we do actually get them from being too, masculine, after having neglected their, femininity, typically started in childhood. It's always something that started in childhood. And we're just going to calibrated them here.

Myrna: What do you tell them to do? How do you help them become more, feminine?

Andre: So how does a woman to be more, feminine?

Andre: That is simple and it's individual for all and there's plenty layers in this and the more you do it the more you get practice. The, masculine, is to be in your head and, feminine, is to be in your heart and your body. Masculine women, are stuck in their head and everything warm, radiant, lovely about them is out the window. Masculine men, live in their head we're not in our hearts naturally. Right? We have to be logical and conquerors and fighters, we can't think about how we feel.

Doesn't matter how you feel. It needs to be done. How many times have you heard me say that? We care how you feel. It has to be done. Right?

Feminine, it’s about how you feel. Anything that makes you feel good, right? If you feel sexy, you're sexy.

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What men want: to prove that he is the best suitor

Myrna: Does, sex, too early in a relationship prevents building a healthy long term love relationship? Women my age were always told by their grandparents don't give it away.

Why would a guy pay for the cow when he already got milk?

Andre: That's another long answer, but I'm gonna try to keep it short. But again, its nature. In a nutshell, a woman's body and, sexuality, is her currency. Back in the days, men went towards building character, building their businesses, building their finances, so that they were adequate to call on women. They would compete against each other to be the top suitor for the best women. The guy who's got more resources has more choices. But older men became more attractive on some level, because they have more power, they have more resources, they have more assets.

Men had to build themselves up to be competitive enough to be the chosen one by a good woman. A, feminine woman, would let herself be wooed by him, but they would not cross the line into, sexuality, until he was committed. Because, sex, that's her currency. Right? You want a good woman? You gotta be good, man. When you throw that out the window, now a man doesn’t have to work for it. This is part of what's happening in our culture. Again, not my opinion, just facts. When women give away their bodies for dinner this is what happens.

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What men want: A woman they can trust

You meet a guy, you date him once, twice, three times. He like, let's roll. The women think that starts intimacy. The reality is for men, that killed it. Why does early, sex, kill a long term relationship? Because in nature, he has to prove himself that he is good guy, that he's got character, he's got to impress her.

And now he gets picked with almost no effort. He buys dinner three times and women put out. He's thinking I can't trust this woman. Now again, this is not a thought process is the limbic brain, the lizard brain saying, I can't trust this chick because she'll sleep with anybody. I didn't have to do anything to get her to sleep with me.

Women sleep with men because they feel it will make them his girlfriend but no amount of, sex, ever convince a man to commit to a woman. That's not it. It's the opposite.

Myrna: Let me let me interrupt that one because I've heard that men don't trust a woman if she sleeps with him on the first date. I think that they're almost expecting to sleep with you after three dates or three weeks.

Andre: You could change the rules, but it's still not working. That's never going to work. It's never worked. And it's the worst when nobody's getting married.

Conclusion

Connect with Andre on the web:

My storyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33PM5ehssWM

Website:www.projectequinox.net
FB Page: Project Equinox with Andre Paradis
https://www.facebook.com/Project-Equinox-272490668761/

FB Private Group for Ladies – Freehttps://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=dating%20and%20relationship%20insights

YouTube: Project Equinox with Andre Paradishttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-n26dzlCN0dcAXgubSjGQ

Additional Resources

How to Embrace Female Sexuality and the Divine Feminine

5 mins with coach Myrna, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, personal development podcast, podcast

You Must Give To Receive

August 12, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

In order to receive you must first, give. This principle is taught in the Bible story of Elijah the prophet and the widow woman. When you, give, you will always have enough and when you, give, God will also bring your dead things back to life.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11123529-you-must-give-to-receive.mp3?download=true

It Happened: Elijah and the widow woman

The Lord told, Elijah, the prophet to tell King Ahab, who did what was evil in the Lord’s sight more than any of the kings before him. “There will be no dew or rain during the next few years until I give the word.”

Then the Lord said to, Elijah, “Go hide by a brook and eat what the ravens bring you, for I have commanded them to bring you food”

So, Elijah, did as the Lord told him, but after some time the brook dried up because there was no rainfall. The Lord then told, Elijah “Go and live in the village of Zarephath, I have instructed a, widow, there to feed you.

Again, Elijah, did as he was told and when he arrived at the city he saw a, widow, woman gathering sticks and he asked her. Would you please bring me a little water in a cup. Then he added and a bite of bread too.

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I only have a little flour just enough to make my last meal

The, widow, responded “I swear by the Lord I don’t have a single piece of bread in the house. I only have a handful of flour left in a jar and a little cooking oil in the bottom of the jug. I am about to cook my last meal and die.”

Elijah, responded go ahead and make the meal, but make a little bread for me first, for this is what the Lord said. There will always be flour and olive oil left in your containers until the time comes when the Lord sends rain and the crops grow again.

Sometime later the, widow, woman son dies and, Elijah, brought the boy back to life.

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Give and God will multiply your seed

The secondary message I received from this story is God is great at multiplication, but you must have something for him to work with. The, widow, woman had a handful of flour and a little bit of oil left at the bottom of a jar and God used that to multiply so that she always had flour and oil. That means she always had something to eat.

Jesus used the 5 loafs and 2 fish to feed thousands. Again, God is great at multiplication.

The Feeding of the 5,000 is also known as the “miracle of the five loaves and two fish”; the Gospel of John reports that Jesus used five loaves and two fish supplied by a boy to feed a multitude.

What this tells me is that you must always have, seed. I recorded a message a couple of years back titled “Don’t eat your seed” if you eat your, seed, spend your, seed, God has nothing to work with.

If you want a harvest you must start with, seed.

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Principles of giving and tithing

There has been a lot of talk recently about the, tithe,

Creflow Dollar said that the, tithe, was Old Testament and under the old law and Jesus is new law and the, tithe, is wrong. Every pastor in the entire Kingdom responded to this statement. The Bible said that the, tithe, belongs to the lord and we must, tithe, first.

Elijah, told the, widow woman, to make something to eat with the little flour and oil she had and, give, him something to eat first. How many of you would do that for a stranger? Maybe you would do that if your child is starving. A lot of mothers stay hungry so that their child would eat. But in order for the, widow woman, to get the blessing she had to, give, first.

You have to, give to receive. It works for anything you want. If you want financial abundance or even just to have enough you have to, give, to your church, to hospitals, to the poor, to any company offering human services like Goodwill and the Salvation Army.

If you want love you have to, give love, if you want respect you have to, give respect, and so on and so on.

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The tithe belongs to the Lord

The, tithe, is just God’s way of giving structure to your, giving. If you don’t want to, give, 10% nobody can make you. You have free will, but don’t expect God to bless you when you are like the, widow woman, just waiting to die. If you live stingy all your life never, giving, never blessing others, expect that you will dry up like a prune and always live in struggle and have empty jars. Empty jars don’t just mean money. Life is more than money. You need love, you need health, you need connection. So, start, giving, from your heart and watch the windows of heaven open and abundance flow in.

In closing always remember the principle You have to, give to receive. Someone told me a long time ago, if your hands are closed not only you can’t give, but you also can’t receive.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning in to this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach to receive inspiration throughout the week. I will meet you back her next week for another episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

Look At The Heart Not Outward Appearance

energy healing, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

Is There Life After Death? A Mother’s Story

August 8, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

When Karen Johnson's 27 year old son died of a, heroin overdose, she started believing in, life after death, when her son showed up in his human form waving at her at the airport. In her book “Living Grieving” Karen shares how communicating with her son in the, afterlife, helped her live with her, grief, and start her work as a, shaman, helping survivors and spirits deal with, life after death.

Download podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11083770-is-there-life-after-death-a-mother-s-story.mp3?download=true

Bio

Karen V Johnson’s fast paced professional career as a Federal Judge came to an abrupt halt when she lost her 27-year-old son, Ben to a, heroin overdose. Rather than grieve in a way that made people around her comfortable, she did the unexpected. She quit her lifetime appointment career, sold her house with all her belongings, and went on a 2 ½ year journey around the world finding a spiritual and healing practice along the way.

Karen didn’t think she could ever find her way out of despair, but she found a process that works and shares her journey of transformation with others so they can heal too. Her work is structured around, shamanic, practices, mindfulness, and the journey of the Four winds Medicine Wheel. Karen blends her personal story with meaningful experiences, offering exercises related to each of the four practices of becoming unstuck, becoming lighter, awakening, and creating a new life.

Ben's Life After Death

Myrna: Can you share with the listeners your, grief, journey and the death of your son from a, heroin overdose. It's a powerful story.

Karen: Ben, my son was 27 years old and he was struggling as many young men are trying to find himself trying to decide if he's going to try to start a business go back to school, many things. And so, I was going on a vacation to South Korea for a week and I thought to myself, when I get back, we're going to have the big conversation. I don't care how uncomfortable it is. And so I went to South Korea, and one day in the afternoon, I just wasn't feeling well. and into the evening and then all of a sudden, I get this call, and they hang up.

I just had this feeling of dread. And so, I called the number and the detective answers and I say, you just called me I am Karen Johnson. He said, yes. where are you? And I said, I'm in South Korea. And he said, I have some bad news for you. I'm sorry, your son is dead from a, heroin overdose. Ben had gone to a party with them some other young guys, and they got drunk and they decided, hey, we're going to try, heroin, in all their 27-year-old wisdom. My son was 6′ 8, 260 pounds and they gave him too much.

And he died almost instantly. He and I were very close and it just rocked my world. They say that the death of a child and an unexpected death are two worst ones to survive. So, when you have an unexpected death of a child, you're in a bad place. But that's the bad part of it. The other side of it is you know, it's always the blessing and the curse. The Yin and the Yang. So, the other side of it was so the next morning, I couldn't even get out of South Korea.

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Life after death: Seeing Ben in his human form

Believing in, life after death, started for me at the airport trying to return to the States. It was nighttime when I got the call, so sitting in the airport in South Korea, the next morning I see my son Ben in front of me, just like he is in life. And he's smiling, his big old grin and then he fades away. So, I desperately frantically call my ex-husband, his father and say, you gotta check. I think he's alive. I think he's in that refrigerator and he's trying to get out. I think he's alive. You gotta go check. And so, they go check and call me back and very kindly say, no, I'm sorry he's gone. And so that for me was a doorway.

Death. is always a doorway, it was the doorway into believing in, life after death. And it's something that I did not believe in before. I didn't have much of a spiritual practice. I would have said something like alive is alive, dead is dead. And so, my son Benjamin, woke me up to life on the other side, or, life after death, and he continues to do so to this day.

Myrna: That is one of the reasons I wanted to speak to you. I am wearing a sweater right now, but I'm getting chills. You said that was the first time that Ben appeared to you in his human form. The other times you said he was flapping around so I assume he appeared as a bird. I follow Sadhguru and he talks a lot about, life after death. And he said, whenever you die suddenly, from like, suicide, or a bullet or maybe like a, heroin overdose, or something, then your, spirit, can't seem to find peace. So, do you think that is why Ben stuck around after his, death?

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Grief is a painful experience

Karen: Yeah, after Ben passed, I was in a state. My, grief, was so profound, I was so distraught that my bedroom was upstairs, I couldn't get up the steps. So, I would be on the steps and I would be crying and screaming for Ben until I threw up. I was throwing up blood. I was truly a mess and I could feel him around me. I knew that he was around me just frantic. I couldn't hear what he was saying although I could sense him. I couldn't hear him so I did what my logical mind would never have done before I googled, mediums. To be exact, mediums, in Fairfax County, Virginia and this whole page popped up.

And so, one person's picture looked a little bit larger than the others. And I thought, well, I'll take that one. It turns out this is a way, spirit, has been guiding me now to buy a house and to do many things. Something looks different. And that's how, spirit, communicates because we don't always hear the words. We can't always translate what, spirits, are saying. And so, I went to a, medium, about three weeks after he passed and I said, look he came in right behind me. He's standing over there in the corner.

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Seeking out a Medium to communicate with spirit

Can you tell me what he's saying? I can't hear him. And so, we had a wonderful session. And she told me things that really resonated because it sounded like him. Something like Mom, it was a boneheaded move, and things like that. That just sounded like him. And so, after it was all finished, he said, you know, you might have some abilities yourself because most of my clients have no idea that their loved one is right there in the room with them and there is, life after death. So that was sort of the intro for me to begin studying, life after death, and, spirituality.

Myrna: Yeah, I think you said that you were Clair-sentience. I like what the, medium, said, spirits, are around us all the time, but a lot of us can't feel them. I heard that one of the reasons that we can't communicate with, spirits, is because when you die, your energy is at a higher frequency, and, spirits, has to lower their frequency in order for us to sense them or communicate with them and most of them don’t know how to do that. Is that true?

Karen: That's my experience. It's sort of like when you go to a Buddhist temple or you go into the Catholic Church or any church, they're singing, there's smoke, there's prayer. It's all a way of changing the vibration and the energy.

Life after death: spirits need to transition

I think Ben’s energy couldn't dissipate until he was able to reassure me, because my being frantic, that he was okay. I think you stay stuck and in trauma, it prevents, spirits, from fully moving on and doing what they need to do on the other side. Yeah, because they are watching us, they're seeing how you are dealing with, grief, and people say well if they go to heaven or nirvana or wherever you think that place is, how can they come back. But it's not prison. So, they're allowed to come back and forth easily and sometimes they're a little stuck in between worlds, and they need help.

Myrna: Does Ben still come back and forth?

Karen: Oh, yeah. So, you know, I became a, shaman. I do, shamanic healing, part of, shamanic healing, is helping people to die and helping, spirits, to crossover in the other world. I help, spirits, transition to, life after death. And so, I helped Ben to cross over and he comes back and forth. I'll call him if I have a young person who's committed, suicide, or sudden death or something. Sometimes, suicides, get a little stuck because there's so much bad talk about, suicide, that they're going to hell and all this kind of stuff. And so, they're afraid to cross over and the, after life.

They don't know what to be, so I can call Ben and he'll say, hey, man, come with me. I'll show you the ropes. I'll show you it's beautiful on the other side, you have nothing to fear and then they're able to cross over to the, after life, peacefully. So, we would kind of work together.

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We had a lot of grief during the pandemic

Myrna: People have lost a lot of people over the, pandemic, and I've had some interviews on the show with wife’s losing spouses. I've actually never had one with a mother losing a son. But the, grief, is profound. So, what kind of solace can we have? Should we be scared when we feel our loved one’s presence? What kind of advice you can give on that?

Karen: Yeah, so I think sometimes people say, I'd love to see my loved one but it I find it scary at the same time. I really don't want them appearing. So, if you have that kind of dynamic going on, I think they don't want to appear. A lot of times we're scared of our loved ones after they die. I don't think before I saw Ben, that I would have said I wanted him to show up, but he just kind of showed up. So, I think a lot of that goes on and it just depends how they show themselves to you.

Myrna: You went to the, medium, three weeks after Ben died. Did you find that your, grief, started to settle down after you could communicate with him? I know you're still grieving seven years after his death, but did the intensity subside?

Karen: The intensity of my, grief, somewhat subsided.

Shamanism Helps survivors deal with grief

Myrna: You said that, shamanism, allowed you to move through your, grief, on your healing journey. So, tell us what, shamanism, is.

Karen: About nine months after Ben passed, I had been in the spiritual world and learning things and growing and I had gone to an evolutionary astrologer who said, hey, I had another woman who had a reading like yours that became a, shaman. I went to Mr. Google and searched for, shaman, and Mr. Google said, try the Four Winds. I contacted their office and three weeks later I'm on a plane to Joshua Tree California.

I got there and I just loved it. That was the beginning of the, south direction, of the, medicine wheel. The, south direction, of the, medicine wheel, is where you learn to shed your past, the way that a serpent sheds its skin. So, we're looking at all our old wounds and things that are bothering us in trouble. These are ways of thinking and being all those things and we're learning how to work with that how to let it go. A process called elimination. So that's the first feeling medicine that we learned in the south direction.

Myrna: Okay, so they teach you how to shed your skin and how does, shamanism, do that? Do you do it by meditation? Do you do it by coaching?

Shamanism works with luminous energy to help with grief

Karen: The, shaman, work is working with the, luminous energy field, and we have a, luminous energy field, because when someone's alive it’s vibrant, and when someone's gone, it's just not there. We have this field of energy around us. And so, what we do as, shamans, is learn to work with this, luminous energy field. And by the way, shamanism, is not a religious practice. We have, shamans, that are priests and rabbis, all sorts of people trained in using, energy medicine, to help people and so we do it by process called elimination.

Then we have what we call, medicine stones, and we use our, medicine stones, to help people heal the heart, we blow into our own wounds. And we work with them in different ways to energize these, medicine stones, and then other people can blow their wounds into the stones and then we use a process where we allow them to breathe in, breathe out. You know, the breath is a metaphor for, shamanic, work. So, we're breathing in newness and freshness and breathing out staleness and old ways.

So, we're allowing them to breathe and release with a, medicine stone, on one of their, chakras. And then at the end of this process, we open to coaching. If you look at the pictures of the Christ and saints and the Buddha, all have this halo around them. So, we reach up into our Halo and open it up. And then we bring this divine light down into the person’s, chakra.

So, they've released heaviness, and we're replacing it with divine light. And it's profoundly healing so that's how, shamans, work with energy.

Shamanic directions for healing grief

Myrna: Can you take us through the other three, shamanic, directions?

Karen: So, the, south direction, and then we moved to the, west direction. The West has to do with death and dying and, fear of death. Most of us are really afraid of, death, and dying, ours and people that we love. And so, we work with that and sometimes people have energies and entities that we learn to extract and take out in the west.

And then in the, north direction, we move to, hummingbird medicine. The West medicine is, Jaguar medicine, Jaguar who fearlessly calls whatever is dead and dying in the jungle and so we want to be like the Jaguar impeccable and calling whatever's dead and dying within us. Then we move to, hummingbird medicine, and hummingbird teach us stillness in motion. It's little wings are flapping and it's still.

Myrna: And it's always singing right?

Shamanic practice and directions

Karen: Looking for food and looking for The Sweetest Nectar. Hummingbirds feast on nectar. They don't go to the dung heap. They don't go there. They go to the nectar of life. Right? So that's that metaphor for drinking only from the sweetest nectar of life. So, hummingbird medicine, and then we end up with, Eagle medicine Eagle.

Eagles fly high. So you know Eagles have been the standard for the United States somebody that that flies high. It's the only bird that flies over all the storms of life always looking for clearing and it has to do with destiny. So these direction in, Eagle medicine, has to do with finding your highest destiny, flying high being able to fly high over obstacles.

Myrna: That's beautiful. I love it. What are some, mindfulness, tips that can help us with, grief and loss?

Karen: When I talked about my book is the journey of the bereaved and the journey of, grief, is through transition, resurrection and rebirth and that's the same process our loved ones go through. So their transition is from their physical form to the spiritual one. They resurrect on the other side. After a while they're either reborn or maybe recycled into a new life or reborn into their after life.

Grief is a journey of transformation

And so the, grief, this is our special journey because we go through transformation from having this person to not having this person. And then after a while, if if we can move some of this energy we can have this opportunity to resurrect to look around and say, Okay, so now what next? And then finally to get to the rebirth part where we actually use the energy of, grief, to create a new life out of the ashes of the old one which seems like a really unbelievable thing.

But when you think about other big events in life, like parenthood, and marriage, we know they have transformative energy. We know that life is never the same, life is gonna end with, grief. In our culture we want to avoid, death, because we associate it with sadness and despair. And so people that are grieving are often told, it's time to move on. It's time to get over it. Let's not talk about that.

So oftentimes, people become even more stuck in their, grief, because they become isolated and alone and they know that will make people uncomfortable. What I'd like people to know is that, grief, is a journey. It's not a one time thing and it has no time frame and your journey is going to be different than anybody else's.

Never say to a grieving person, it's time to move on. It's time to just just let them be. Let them be, and allow them to go on this journey. So that they can use these practices.

Alchemizing the energy of grief

The, south direction, helps people shed their, grief. Each each direction has four practices associated what mindfulness things that people have heard in other contexts. So we talk about non judgement. So one of the practice non judgement who are you judging and who's judging you? And when I ask people to approach these practices in a very ceremonial way, because we want to get out of our every day, reptilian brains.

Indigenous, alchemy, means native or inherent desire for, transformation. And I think we as humans are really hardwired for, transformation, and change. And when we keep ourselves stuck in, grief, that energy stays stuck in our body and it can make us sick. Years later, we can come up with big illnesses because we have so much unresolved, grief.

So what I like to suggest for people is to really work with these practices, each one they're 16. And so if you really deeply do the work and take it to spirit there can be profound change that will enable you then to go to a party, have fun, maybe go on a date or whatever you choose, but we have to do a little spiritual work first.

Myrna: Tell us about your book “Living Grieving using energy medicine, alchemize grief and loss.” Why did you write it? I know you wanted to share the story of your son.

Karen: So I wrote the book after I went on my spiritual journey and beginning shamanism. I ended up selling my home and all my possessions and I went on two and a half year trip around the world, trying to understand, grief and loss. It just seems so incomprehensible to me. It's like this big elephant and how do you deal with this?

Living Grieving

And and so I really thought at the beginning, I would just be writing a blog. You can find the book “Living Grieving” on Amazon. I do, shamanic, work I help people with, death, and dying people that are in the process of dying or people that have passed on. I also help widows and other people who are the survivors, I call us the survivors. And the book is really written for the survivors.

Additional Resources

Master Lama Rasaji: Harmonizing Mind Body Spirit

5 mins with coach Myrna, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, lifecoaching, personal development podcast, podcast

The Devil Discourages Before He Destroys

August 5, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

In 1 Peter 5:8, Peter gave a firm warning about the, devil: “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the, devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Peter says that, Satan, wants to devour and destroy you, just like a roaring and hungry lion.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11083290-the-devil-discourages-before-he-destroys.mp3?download=true

The Devil uses our negative emotions

If the, devil, can discourage you, then he can destroy you. So, you have to guard your heart. Don’t let, disappointment, enter in. Disappointment, is also called, hopelessness, and what does the bible say about people without hope. They perish.

The other thing is, disappointment, usually leads to, depression, and then, anger, follows.

We can feel the, negative emotions, or we can try to block them by doing something.

We can avoid painful, emotions, by reading a book, shopping, cooking, eating, watching a movie, drinking, smoking, drugs etc.

But it is best to feel these, emotions, try to feel it in your body. Feel which part of your body is feeling the pain. Is it in your stomach, is it in your chest?

Feel negative emotions in your body

Stop and feel, negative emotions, for at least one minute before you try to self-medicate.

Then ask the question what am I feeling?

Is it jealousy?

Is it rejection?

Most times, negative feelings, manifest as, depression. Depression, is a surface emotion that is linked to childhood, adolescent and sibling experience. A person depressed is like a boat on a sea that is being tossed about by every wave or wind that comes along.

Anger, normally accompanies, depression. Anger, is more than an emotion. It is the registration of more than one thousand energy fields. It happens when the world does not perform as we expect it to.

How to deal with negative emotions

Whenever you feel, anger, jealousy, or, depression, try to feel the emotion for a few seconds before you react to it. The more often you apply consciousness to your, negative emotions, the less they will show up.

I want to point out that lack of self-worth is most often the root of all emotional pain. It does not matter how much you have achieved or accomplished; it has no correlation to the outside world. It is the experience of insecurity.

Your emotions are like street lights, they turn on in the dark. That is your dark thoughts.

This is the plot of the, devil; he wants you to believe all is hopeless that is why he, seeks and destroys. People who are depressed feel all is hopeless that is why depressed people commit suicide.

Discouragement takes out the heart

Discouragement, takes out the heart. So beat off, discouragement, and, depression, with everything you got. Try to replace those, negative feelings, with feelings of love and peace. For example, Think of the birth of your children, your happy moments, a beautiful scene you experienced etc. One of my favorite sayings is “good memories can save your life” from the movie the Punisher. I will share some of my happy places with you.

My husband and I were on a cruise and one night we sat and stared at the full moon for some time. We were in the middle of a dark ocean and the full moon was reflecting on the water. It was a beautiful and serene experience and I recall it often, because it made me feel connected to God.

My other scene I recall often was on my honeymoon. We went to a beach in the Bahamas. We were the only one on the beach, the water was rough and the winds were strong and I had the most amazing feelings of peace and tranquility. I could go on about my memories of the birth of my children but you get the picture.

Conclusion

So, you see we all have memories to replace those, negative emotions. If you can’t remember your memories, take out your old albums. We are hard wired to only focus and remember the bad things someone said to us, the bad things someone did to us or what someone didn’t do that we expected them to do. That is why you are depressed and discouraged and let the, devil, in, so you must turn it around.

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I hope you were inspired to replace depressive thoughts and, negative emotions, with good memories.

Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

Have a Positive Mindset: Get Rid of Automatic Negative Thoughts

5 mins with coach Myrna, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

Listen To Your Heart It Reveals Your Purpose

July 29, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

One way to find your, purpose, is to notice what makes you, weep, or angry. Because that is your, heart, responding to what’s on the outside that is linked to something on your inside. For example, do you, weep, when you hear a child has been abused or a dog left outside in the heat without any water? Then maybe God wanted you to do something about this and that is why he pre-wired you to care.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11044600-listen-to-your-heart-it-reveals-your-purpose.mp3?download=true

Nehemiah wept for days

We see an example of this in the, bible story, of, Nehemiah. Nehemiah, asked his brother a simple question. “How are the, Jews, finding being back home after being in captivity”

Nehemiah, brother replied “Not good. They are in trouble and disgrace because the, walls of Jerusalem, have been torn down and the gates destroyed by fire.”

When, Nehemiah, heard this, he wept for days until he felt compelled to do something about it. At the time he was not a rich man, a man of influence, or had any other qualifications to rebuild a wall; he was the Kings cup bearer. But that did not stop him from asking God to make the King favorable to his request to rebuild the, walls of Jerusalem.

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Nehemiah found his purpose

Nehemiah, had this immense calling to do something, it made him sad because he really didn’t think he could actually do anything about it. Remember he was not rich; he did not have any influence or so he thought. While serving the king wine one day, the King noticed he was sad and asked him why.

Nehemiah, replied “I am sad because the city where my ancestors are buried is in ruins.” The king asked “How can I help you?” What a strange response from a King. This is because, Nehemiah, had already petitioned God to go before him and soften the, heart, of the king.

So, Nehemiah, responded “Send me to Judah to rebuild the city where my ancestors are buried.”

The King responded “How long will you be gone?”

Again no pushback, the King did not even ask, Nehemiah, how he plans on accomplishing this task. He just said just let me know how long you will be gone!

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Stacey Abrams: A present day Nehemiah

How many of you felt angry or sad at things happening around you, but felt you could do nothing about it because you are a nobody without money or influence? I have heard lots of present-day, Nehemiah, stories of men and women tackling huge issues and building a movement. The first one that comes to mind is, Stacey Abrams, in, Georgia.

Stacey did not win her groundbreaking 2018 campaign for governor, but she did not quit. She got right back to work because she understood that she didn’t need the title of governor to make a difference in the lives of Georgians.

But let’s unpack our Nehemiah story. The truly amazing thing about this story is that he completed the wall in 52 days. He, organized, what the enemy called poor feeble, Jews, to work together. Everybody did a little bit. I think today we call this, grassroots organizing, or, boots on the ground, and he did it without technology. No telephones, no internet!

How to Find Your Purpose

Why was he so successful, because it was his, purpose. It was his, soul’s purpose, and that is why the, organizing, forces in the universe came together to make it happen. How did, Nehemiah, find his, purpose? He wept for days when he heard that his people were living in shame and his, heart, told him he should do something about it.

In a similar way, your, purpose, has a way of finding you. It could jump off the page of a book you are reading, you could hear a term and like, Lifecoach, and know that is what you are supposed to do. Are you trying to find your, purpose in life? Reflect on what elicits emotion from you. Listen to your, heart. It will direct you to your, purpose.

Nehemiah, built a wall, what can you build? Can you build a community center for the youths in your community, so they can get off the streets? Can you build a school in your village, so the kids can get an education? Can you build wells in third world countries, so that poor people can drink clean water?

Conclusion

Whatever is causing you pain, you can do something about it. You are, limitless, you only need the, desire; the, organizing, power of the universe will do the rest.

This is 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I hope that you are on, purpose, and if not, you must learn to listen to your, heart, to find your, soul's purpose. Join my Facebook group Lifecoach to be inspired throughout the week.

Additional Resources

Your Pain Reveals Your Purpose

Life Coaching, life coaching blog, lifecoaching, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

How to Replace Bad Habits With Success Habits

July 27, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

Will Moore is a serial entrepreneur and TEDx speaker. This blog is about replacing your, bad habits, with, success habits, thereby transforming your life.

Habits, are very important. We always say that, it takes 21 days to form a, bad habit, but now some people are actually challenging that. They're saying it takes about three months or 90 days to form a, habit.

Whatever we do on a consistent basis, it forms a, habit, regardless it is a, bad habit, or, success habit. So, today we're talking about transforming our lives through, success habits, and replacing the, bad habits. The, habit, that we're trying to develop is the, success habit, that leads to happiness.

Success habits, generally increase your happiness.

Listen to the full interview here:

Bio and Introduction Bad Habits

Will Moore is a serial entrepreneur, TedX speaker, life coach, and happiness expert. After exiting his delivery startup for $323 million in 2019, Will confirmed what he’d spent the past 25 years researching: True happiness isn’t about money, power, or fame; it’s about figuring out what makes you happy and taking consistent action on those things every single day.

To do this, Will has thrown out the book on traditional, self-improvement, creating instead a unique system that reduces friction by combining the latest in science and technology with, success habits, and universal principles: gamifying the process and building momentum. Will's company, Moore Momentum, is addressing the “Social Dilemma.” and helping people hold themselves accountable by taking the necessary action to replace their, bad habits, with, success habits.

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5 core areas to build Success Habits

Mindset,
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Relationships,
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Giving Back.

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Myrna: Awesome bio. It sounds that you're very successful. It's everybody's dream to have an exit strategy that makes them several million dollars especially 323 million so that is a great foundation. So, what you are doing with More Momentum? Can you tell us how you got into this journey? Understanding that happiness does not come from fame or it does not come from money or it doesn't come from power as everybody seems to think.

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Understanding Where Happiness Lies

Will: My mom was an alcoholic. She was verbally and physically abusive. My parents divorced early, we moved around a lot. I just never really fit in and I just kind of got to a point where I was basically suicidal in college. Serendipitously one of my professors introduced me to a book, “How to Friends and Influence People” by Mr. Dale Carnegie. It sort of changed my mindset and started to shift me towards what I call a growth owner mindset.

Myrna: I read that book. I found it very difficult to understand but it is a classic.

Will: I've read it so many times. It was written back in the 40s some 70 years ago, and still it still stands today which is to me is a testament of the universal principles. These Universal principles in life, if you follow them, if you abide by them, if you lead your life by them and build your, habits, around them, you're going to succeed.

You're not going to be happy if you ignore them or try to cheat the system. You're going to struggle, so that sort of opened up my mind to the principle of friends.

It's not about you, give to other people if you want to have more friends than you can handle.

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How to Win Friends

I just took that to heart. I started to shift and I started taking all the poor me victim stuff self talk which was a , bad habit, and started asking people questions about themselves. It was like my own human science experiment. I started taking notes, seeing what worked and what didn't. I noticed people responded well when you took interest in them.

I started making, friends, and was becoming more popular. People actually started liking me, compared to what was constantly being played in my head, “I'm a loser nobody likes me.”

That just started my, success habits, journey, and I never stopped. I became an insatiable, self-help, beast. I was reading book after book on, self-improvement.” All the books that I could get my hands on including “Think and Grow Rich”, “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, etc.

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My #1 Success Habits was reading Self Help Books

I started to live this more holistic type of lifestyle, I call it ‘firing on all cylinders’. When you start to develop these, habits, you're building momentum and creating, success habits, in each of the 5 core areas. People around you can feel your momentum and your energy. When we sold our solar business in 2019 for a combined 321 million, I had enough money where I could say, okay I don't technically have to work anymore I can concentrate on building my, success habits.

Myrna: I started my spiritual journey with Robin Sharma’s book “The Monk who Sold His Ferrari”. I understand what you're talking about.

How did you transition to understanding, bad habits, and, success habits? You started off with, “How to win friends and influence people”, How did you combine that into, habits?

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Changing your Bad Habits into Success Habits

Will: Success habits, were not as integral and central as they are now for me, as I got deeper into, self improvement, I started identifying my, bad habits. I call them, failure habits, and replacing them with, success habits; but I wasn't doing it consciously.

I didn't need to shine a spotlight on all my, bad habits, that was causing me, negative momentum, in each of my five core areas. I just decided to replace my, bad habits, with, success habits. The book that brought my, bad habits, home was “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. I read several years ago.

It all comes down to your, habits. You are your, habits. We run on autopilot 90% of the time and we're just doing the things that we have done repeatedly, whether they're good or bad and here's the kicker, habits, don't care if they're helping or hurting you. We are all creatures of, habit.

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Your Bad Habits are automatic

Myrna: I go on autopilot mode almost every time I drive so I know what you taking about. I'll be meaning to go someplace different, next thing I end up at the place where I wasn't supposed to go.

Will: That's a perfect example, where your brain is trying to conserve energy. A lot of people have no idea that our brain finds the safest route. To start replacing a, bad habit, find a replacement, success habit.

Myrna: You discovered the, success habits, and the, bad habits, and then you just made it integral to your More Momentum training. Now, let's get to the Seven the Habits of Successful People. You mentioned that you read the book it was written by Stephen R. Covey and it's called “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People”.

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Seven Habits of Highly Successful People

Will: One of the things that people do is they get caught up in thinking that certain, habits, are going to lead to the promised land. These seven habits is the formula for being happy, because your belief system plus your repeated actions plus time equals who you will become.

Habit 1: Be Proactive
Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind
Habit 3: Put First Things First
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Habit 6: Synergize
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

The Book the Secret had the answer to the universe, but they didn't have the action part of it. It's like you can't just think about what you want. You got to actually take action, you have to build your, success habits.

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Action is the way to build your Success Habits

Myrna: I love it, you mean you can't just put a picture on your vision board and then 10 years later you manifest it?

Will: Right. That's right exactly. I had a, vision board. I still do sitting right here. You have to take consistent action to manifest your vision.

You have go to tell yourself, I got everything within me to kick ass. It's only a matter of time. Obstacles are temporary roadblocks and every step of the way, I'm going to fail forward and I'm going to become bigger, better, faster, stronger, smarter, on my way to becoming this unstoppable force. That's the attitude you got to have, and it doesn't come easily.

It doesn't come overnight and that's why the compounding part – your belief system plus your repeated actions or, habits, plus time equals who you become. Those actions start becoming, habits, and they turn into things that are actually automatically building your, momentum, along the way versus hurting it. That's how you become the person that you want to be.

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The Mindset of Success Habits

Myrna: What are some, success habits, that we can start doing? Not necessarily talk about the failure or bad habits yet, give us a couple of success habits that you have discovered.

Will: Your, mindset, is essentially the thoughts that are going through your head Some people have the, bad habit, of talking baldly to themselves about themselves. They say things like

You are not good enough
I will never be anybody
People don't like me
They have a victim mindset that says people are always out to get them.
Some tell themselves things like I was born this way, there is nothing I can do about it

We have to have the, mindset, that that says, you can't succeed without failing. If you've got a good, mindset, going everything else becomes incrementally easier.

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The Habit of Transforming your Mind

Myrna: I agree with that. That's why this show is called “transform your mind to transform your life” because your mind is the first place to start, human transformation.

Will: For your career and finances, I'd say very first thing you should do is figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are. Then start focusing on the things you’re good at and make that part of your daily routine. You're moving that stuff forward and then peripherally the other things that need to be done will get done.

I'd say the top, habit, for that goes back to Mr. Dale Carnegie – “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, is just make other people feel special.

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The Habit of Making People Feel Special

Whether it's your significant other, your friends, your family, your colleagues at work, or acquaintances:

Remember names,
Remember details about people,
Be genuinely interested in what they're saying (you may have to fake it at first, because we're all selfish egotistical creatures by nature) but what happens is you actually start to see that they respond to you. They're interested in you, that becomes addictive and then you do become more genuinely interested in them.

It's this feedback success loop thing you get into and it's magical and it just propels your life because, you can't go through life on your own, you got to have other people.

For physical health, I'd say the top, success habits, are:

There's your sleep,
Watch your nutrition
Movement, there's your exercising.

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Success Habits for Emotional Health

The final tip I would give for the final core emotional health and giving back, I'll give two tips because they're kind of slightly different things. For the, emotional health, part the question is

Are you living a life full of passion, purpose?
Do you actually enjoy the ride or are you just constantly like looking down scratching off to do's”, trying to just get through the day?”
The, habit, of enjoying life and expressing your passion is important.

I would also say proactively making a list of the things that you love and then making sure that you're incorporating them into your life regularly is a great, success habit. Whether it's doing a sport or whether it's creativity if you're an artist, you like to paint, and you haven't painted in 10 years. Use technology and sign up for class or get a buddy that you can paint with.

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Erase Bad Habits with a regular routine

Get it into your regular routine because again it's a, habit, like anything else, and if you start doing it then all of a sudden you're doing it, you don't even have time for the, bad habits, to get an opening. With a regular routine thoughts like “Oh, I don't have time for this” or “Oh, I have conflicting schedules” A daily schedule starts to improve your life, because you're incorporating more of the things that you love and are passionate about.

The last, success habit, is “giving back”. I have a mantra that I say to myself every morning. I've memorized it. I focus on all the things that I want in life and then at the end of it, I talk about what I'm grateful for. So, I get this feeling of “Oh, man I'm so lucky and it just boosts me up and rocket propels me into the day because I start happy and excited.

Myrna: I love that. That was a good idea to give a, success habit, from each of your five core areas of life. So as we wrap up, so tell our listeners more about your business – More Momentum. How they can get in contact with you and what exactly is your program.

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Moore Momentum Training

Will: https://mooremomentum.com is the website. There's a “see the Momentum Movement” tab at the top and you can sign up. I’ve got a weekly blog and newsletter that I do at the top. There's also the social media buttons (Instagram, Facebook and Twitter) My Instagram page is @willmoremomentum. I post viral videos of stuff and I'm trying to make it fun by gamifying the experience. I'm helping people trick their brain into wanting to watch the stuff that's good for them.

I've got the App that's coming up so I super excited. I think I mentioned briefly earlier, the App it's going to just take everything I've been doing over the last 25 years and culminate it into one device where you can stop your, bad habits, in these five core places and replace them with, success habits.

In the game, you're a rocket ship. You've got your five core cylinders of your engine in order to fly up to the moon and break earth's gravitational pull. You got to get enough momentum to get off the ground by stopping those, bad habits, and replacing them with, success habits, one step at a time. I make sure I take it through very slowly. Remember the law of compounding – if you rush into it, you try to change everything at once. It'll never work then all of a sudden you're flying off to different planets and universes and solar systems and you're meeting aliens along the way.

You're getting universal principles and tips flying through asteroid fields building up your armor and becoming an unstoppable force.

It's super exciting. You can sign up on my website for that as well. If you click on the App, it'll say “be notified when the App is Available.”

Conclusion

Myrna: I absolutely love it. Wow, so that's great not only for adults but for children teaching them that they can do anything. If they want to get to the moon or to get to the top of their goals. Whether it's a, success habit, or a, bad habit, you just keep doing it. It's actually pretty good to replace those, failure habits, and make them into, success habits, so you can do it.

If you found this blog and podcast inspirational, please subscribe, rate and review The Transform Your Mind Podcast on iTunes. Leave your comments below if you have, bad habits, that you need to change into, success habits.

Additional Resources

https://www.denierob.com/blog/5-key-takeaways-from-the-power-of-now

5 mins with coach Myrna, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

Your Focus Determines Your Actions

July 8, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

Are you aware of your, emotional home? It is what you, focus, on when the going gets tough, determines your, actions. Your, emotional home, is the emotion you return to when life events happen, good or bad. For example, have you ever been fired? What did you, focus, on?

What was your, emotional response? Did you, focus, on fear that you will be homeless? Was it hope that you will find a better job, or did you, focus, on gratitude, that now you can do what you really love. Science shows that our, emotions, have a home and we always go home.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10921352-your-focus-on-determines-your-actions.mp3?download=true

Tony Robbins, tells the story often about one Thanksgiving when he was 11 years old, his step father had just lost his job and they were eating saltine crackers and butter for dinner when there was a knock at the door and a man was there with a basket of food and a Turkey.

His father was not grateful for the food. He told the man at the door. We don’t accept charity and tried to shut the door in the man’s face. The man put his foot in the door and responded it was not charity and he was just the delivery man.

His father took the food without saying thanks and slammed the door in the man’s face.

What you Focus on is your emotional home

The meaning you give life events determines the, actions, you take.

Tony’s father chose to, focus, on the fact that he could not provide for his family and that is why someone had to send them food.

The meaning he attached to this, focus, was that was he was a failure.

His, actions, were to leave his family.

Tony on the other hand chose to, focus,` on the fact that they had food, his emotion was, gratitude.

The meaning he gave it was that strangers cared.

The action he did was to pay it forward and at 17 years old started his organization, Feeding America.

What actions did you take when you felt pain

Many of you listening had events that happened in your childhood that shaped who you became as an adult and formed your, emotional home.

We’re you sexually molested as a child?

We’re you bullied in school because you wore hand me downs and your shoes had holes in them?

Did your parents favor your siblings?

In every one of those scenarios, you focused on the situation.

You probably give it the meaning that you were worthless or unlovable.

What, actions, did you take?

Did you become sexually promiscuous?

Did you sleep with boys or men to get money to buy stuff?

Did you hate your parents or siblings?

The, emotions, that came from the meaning affect our, actions, and are the, emotions, you return to when you are hurt.

Let me help you change the narrative – you have to deliberately draw a line in the sand and change it. It takes work to, rewrite your story.

STEPS TO REWRITE YOUR STORY

Examine your habits
Instead of focusing on what you want to change, turn your attention to the bad habit or habits that lead to you wanting to learn how to change yourself. Are your sugar cravings at 10 PM what lead to you being overweight? Is your habit of sleeping in and arriving at work late getting in the way of your promotion? Once you’ve identified the, negative habits, you can create better ones that will help you, rewrite your story, such as utilizing delayed gratification.
Practice every day
Once you know what your new, healthy habits, are, practice them every single day – no matter what. Have a backup plan in case circumstances get in the way of your new habits and don’t allow yourself to cut corners.
Focus on self-reflection
One of the habits that lead you to wanting to learn how to change your life around was not facing reality. You need to, focus, on realistic self-reflection throughout your journey and, when needed, ask those you trust for their perspective. Are you improving? If not, what else needs to change?
Surround yourself with good people
When you spend quality time with good people who love you, you develop a natural support system for your new habits and you are able to, rewrite your story, in a nurturing environment.
Keep taking risks
If you want to learn how to change your life, you cannot stay in your comfort zone. You need to take risks until you get comfortable with those risks – then take more. The more you push yourself, the easier it will become to rewrite your story and transform your life.

Conclusion

Can you use your story to help others?

If you take control of your mind and, focus, on making better decisions, sometimes the worst experiences in life turn out to be your best teachers and your, testimony.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of, 5 min Fridays, I hope you were inspired to become aware of your emotional home and if is not a positive emotion, change it. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

How to become Limitless: Emotional Intelligence Leadership

creating wealth, financial freedom, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, mindset, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

Money Mindset: Removing Your Financial Baggage

June 26, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

In this 21 Day, money mindset, Challenge we help people identify all of the, money beliefs, getting in their way and then shift them into different, beliefs, that are supportive of building wealth and abundance and joy with, money. And then beyond that, to building the structures that really lead towards financial success.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10849904-money-mindset-removing-your-financial-baggage.mp3?download=true

Bio

A gang of armed men broke into Chana Mason's childhood home in Bogota, Colombia, And held her family hostage. Her family miraculously fled to Miami, but 5-years-old Chana’s sense of safety was decimated. Two decades later, Chana still dealt with PTSD, anxiety, and depression. To heal herself, she dove into a journey to rediscover her peace and joy. She’s learned from the world’s top experts on the human mind and uses her gift for turning complex ideas into easy-to-access tools for transformation.

Through her straight talk, open heart, and addictive joy, Chana helps thousands clarify their vision, shift beliefs getting in their way, and manifest their dreams. Chana lives with her family in the funky Nachlaot neighborhood of Jerusalem and works with individuals and communities around the world.

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Byron Katie's book The Work as the foundation for shifting mindset

I love Byron Katie's book, “The Work” I follow her work so, and I started doing some of those exercises or tools. So, I know what you're talking about in your book “Hold That Thought”. From your bio, you said that because you had, PTSD, so you started to, to train with a top world expert. So can you bridge the gap for us, how your, childhood trauma, turned into you becoming a coach and a teacher and how you used Byron Katie's book, “The Work” as the foundation of one of your tools.

Chana: I was constantly in search of things that would help me stop having, anxiety and depression, and one of the things that I experienced which I kind of thought I was the only person in the world who had this because we have a tendency to be very lonely in our suffering and not talk about it.

I would have the worst, anxiety images, I would picture the most horrific things happening all the time. In my mind, I tend to picture things rather than have words as much. And so, as I walk off a bus, I pictured myself tripping off the bus and getting run over or I trip on the sidewalk and I would imagine my head bashing the sidewalk and blood and guts everywhere.

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Our thoughts are malleable

Those types of images were flooding my mind all the time, in addition because of the kidnap threat when I was a kid, I was constantly being scared of people on the street thinking I was gonna get kidnapped or thinking I was gonna get raped. All of that stuff, didn't respond at all to therapy. So, for years, I tried going to different therapists. Eventually I started learning about the concept that our thoughts are within our control and, thoughts, are malleable, but I didn't really have clear tools for how to shift those, thoughts, and I kept getting stuck.

Eventually, I found some really phenomenal coaches and healers; but there was something about Byron Katie's material that just really struck a chord. I was introduced to “The Works” as a process for inquiry. So, The Works, and the option process and other tools for inquiry also. Their goal is to help you ask questions. When you're facilitating someone else, you ask them questions that help the subconscious to bring up all of the answers and all of the beliefs and all of the rationale that we've been using to drive our behavior. Sometimes just seeing it on the surface makes us look at it and be like wait, that doesn't make any sense.

You know, so for example, a lot of people think that the best way to lose weight is believing that they should lose weight. My experience is that the belief that I should lose weight makes people want to eat more and exercise less. And so as soon as they see how they react to that belief, they realize, wait, this belief isn't working for me, even though I thought it would help me get to where I want to go.

Eventually, I wanted to help people to this theory clearly a journal work. So just came out with a new book, which I didn't even get to tell you about because it just came out. It’s called “Inner Voices.”

Also, in “Hold That Thought” people get a free taste of “Inner Voices” at the end of the book.

Using the Works to change your beliefs

Myrna: When I was reading “The Works” I used the inquiry for my, beliefs, regarding my husband. Married people have conflict over certain different things so this was helpful for me. I loved the inquiry, is that true? How do you know that’s true? So, how did you use that book specifically to get rid of your, anxiety images?

Chana: So for me, the purpose of inquiry is to question our thinking. For some people thinking manifests as words. And for other people it manifests as pictures. But what's cool about a picture is that it's not just one belief. Usually a picture, is a container for lots and lots of, beliefs. So, if you're picturing yourself, God forbid, driving off the road, there's a lot of, beliefs, in there.

Not safe when I'm driving.
The world is not a safe place.
I can't trust myself on the road.
I can't trust other drivers on the road.
I'm going to die.
I'm going to die in a painful way.
I'm going to die right now.

Asking is it true to shift your mindset

Think about how many things come up. And so, if you can just sit and think about what are the, beliefs, that are embedded in these, anxiety images? I want for your audience to really understand what inquiry is so I can give you a simple example. There was one time that I was in Heathrow Airport, sort of transitioning via London to the United States from Israel. And Heathrow Airport is huge, it's like a mall, and there's a point when you walk through it, it's like walking through the perfume section of a mall. And I saw this huge poster image advertisement of a scantily clad model standing next to a bottle of perfume.

The only thing at the bottom of what brands it was the brand of the perfume, but there were no words on this marketing. This was a big poster. And yet when I looked at it, I noticed that my stomach started to turn. So, for me, the thing that drives me to question my thinking is my emotional state. And my emotional state is a combination of just straight up emotions like anger or sadness, and physiological experiences because we feel emotions inside of our bodies. So, for me, my stomach started to turn and I started to feel a little bit sad and worthless. And so immediately I knew there's something happening in me from this poster. This poster was telling a story, and that story wasn’t feeling good.

I immediately knew to ask myself the question, Is this true? And as soon as I answered this is not true, my stomach was no longer in knots. I was able to shift my, mindset.

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

Shifting your limiting beliefs

Myrna: So how do you help clients shift their, limiting beliefs, and manifest their dreams? We know that we can use the tools that we've been talking about to question how we're feeling, question our, belief system, and so on, but how could we use it for you to shift your, limiting beliefs, and manifest your dreams?

Chana: One of the things I do as a coach is I help people clarify a vision for what it is they want to do with their lives. You know, they may want to build a business, want to increase their sales in real estate. I have a number of realtors that I work with. They may want to lose weight, it really just depends.

Everybody's a little bit different. But particularly for my business clients, actually, it's true even for somebody wanting to lose weight. What tends to happen is that they have a vision. There's something they want, they know it's a clear manifestation of their life's purpose, and would give them a tremendous amount of meaning.

Yet, they can't seem to get themselves to do it. They keep bumping into all sorts of obstacles along the way. And for that, I created a tool I called the, obstacle course. So, this is where I tend to use the tools of inquiry that I've gotten from others and create tools that help people. Let's say that you want to be 20 pounds lighter. So, I have a client who's in that situation right now. She wants to be 20 pounds lighter.

Using the obstacle course to change mindset

Myrna: Well, in your book I thought it was interesting this guy, I think he was a Potter or something and he was saying that he could never be successful as a Potter and you used the, obstacle course, to help him shift his, mindset, and remove his, financial baggage.

Chana: So that's a perfect sample. He had this vision of living out in the country and not living in the city and being professionally a Potter and actually making a living as a Potter. Being able to sustain a family that way. But it seemed so pie in the sky and impossible in his eyes. So, I asked him to do this, obstacle course. What are all the reasons why it's impossible? And for most of us who are visual, it really helps to actually see these, obstacles and remove our, financial baggage.

Everyone comes up with different things, I asked them to envision this dream they have as being someone in the distance in front of them like let's say it's right here. Then I asked them between here and the vision they have, what do they see? And one client said they see shards of glass and other person says they see clouds and other person says the image itself is a black and white, they don't see any color, all sorts of things like that, right?

So, for this guy, the obstacles between himself and the vision is the opportunity to speak. I said, okay, what are the shards of glass or what are the clouds have to say? And he said, It's impossible. I can't do it. I couldn't possibly make enough money to support a family, you know, all these different, beliefs. And he listed about 13 obstacles along with their, financial baggage. Then we have to do the inquiry and ask him “Is this true” and then get him to do a, turnaround to shift his, mindset, and unload his, financial baggage.

Using turnarounds to shift your mindset

It's a lot. What's really cool is that for most of us the, beliefs, that are driving our lives and driving our behavior, are resting in the, subconscious mind. We're just not aware that they're there. And all we have to do is ask a question, like, what are those, obstacles, have to say or what am I believing right now? This making me feel this way? And it's just amazing. Our, subconscious mind, loves to follow orders. If we ask good questions, we get good answers.

So, if I ask, what am I believing right now the, subconscious mind, is like oh, you want to know your, beliefs. Here they are. They were all sitting under this consciousness, so we talked about money, for example, for most people, what keeps them from manifesting wealth and abundance? They have all of these, money beliefs, and for almost all of us our, money beliefs, are very deeply hidden in the, subconscious mind.

For two reasons. One is we got our, money beliefs, early from our family when we were kids. And the other is, money, is taboo. So, we have, money beliefs, but we don't know what they are. It's like for people for whom your body is taboo.

If God forbid, they ever get abused, well, if you don't know you have a penis. How do you tell someone that it got touched? So, in the same way, if you're not allowed to talk about, money, and, money, is this taboo thing? When things aren't going well with, money, you don't even have the language to talk about debt or stress or credit cards or building wealth or investments.

If you don't even have the language, you don't have the vocabulary for that. So, for this guy, once he was able to identify thoughts, then we could use all of the tools from inquiry from the auction process to, neuro linguistic programming, to The Works, to be able to address what he was doing.

Your money mindset and your parents

Myrna: He must have thought that the only way that you can be successful is if maybe you're an accountant or professional or maybe his parents told him that a Potter is not a real job. I know about the, money mindset, because we grew up poor. You have a, money mindset, when you hear your parents or grandparents, say things like “money don't grow on trees” or, “money is the root of all evil.”

So, you've got it on both ends. So that's basically your, belief system. That is a great segue into what we want to talk about today, removing your financial baggage. Tell us about your 21 day, money mindset, challenge.

Chana: Yeah, I actually really want to focus on this thing of money doesn't grow on trees, because we have this 21 Day Challenge that helps people identify all of the, money beliefs, getting in their way and then shift them into different, beliefs, that are supportive of building wealth and abundance and joy with, money. And then beyond that, to building the structures that really lead towards financial success.

The money mindset 21 day challenge

And one of the things that my husband and I decided to do in the, money mindset, challenge is that every single day, every single lesson has a story because we find that stories how we learn and particularly with, beliefs, stories are how we created our, beliefs. You know, your five-year-old Myrna is looking around and she's seeing how people are behaving right. She's living a story, and then she comes up with a whole collection of conclusions about what's true about the world. And some of those conclusions literally came out of people's mouths, but not always.

For example, two people could get divorced and a kid says, oh, my daddy doesn't love me. That's why he left. Even though Daddy never said that. There's no indication of that. Right? And it's probably the opposite of why it's true. Because Daddy loved the kid, he stayed longer than maybe he would have otherwise. There's just such a different collection of stories that kids can create. So, one of the stories that I use repeatedly with students to help them shift is to actually see that money does quite specifically grow on trees.

Myrna: I think ask you those questions. Is that true? What are the other questions? Do you go through in “The Works? Is that how you do them to shift their, mindset?

Chana: So, so there are a few questions that I ask. So, let's say you're believing. I'm not talented enough to start my own business. Okay, so you and I deal with people who believe that all the time I'm not trying to start my own business. So, one stream of questions could be doing “The Work of Byron Katie”,

Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it's true?
How do you react when you believe that thought? You see what that thought does to you emotionally, physiologically, behaviorally, you notice that if I believe I'm not talented enough to start my own business, my body shrinks. I get really tight.

Your beliefs determine your success

Personally, for me I want to crawl under the covers and hide. I'm much less social and under those circumstances, I literally can't start my own business. I can't do anything even remotely creative or audacious, well, unbelieving, that thought. So, the thought actually creates that reality. And isn't that convenient, right? One of the things that I can ask myself was also, is how do I benefit from believing that thought?

One benefit I get is that I can sit on the couch and drink beer and watch movies. It's like, because I'm not talented enough, which is beyond my control, right? It's not like oh, I'm going to work on my talent.

So, me as an author, my husband is also an author. We read books about writing books, and we take courses from authors and these work on our craft. We didn't used to be talented enough to write great books, but we are now working really hard, and hopefully it will be a lot better a decade from now. But to say I'm not talented enough to start my own business is sort of saying like, it's like a flatline and it means I don't even have to try. It's much more convenient to sit on the couch and eat ice cream.

Using Turnarounds to shift your money mindset

The key part of Byron Katie's process is doing what she calls, turnarounds, where you take the original statement, and you say it's opposite. So, you say “I am talented enough to start my own business.” I'm talented enough to learn. I'm talented enough to ask questions. I'm talented enough to seek mentors. I'm talented enough at the one thing I know how to do, and I could outsource other pieces that I don't know how to do, where I'm not particularly talented.

So those would be me giving reasons why this new perspective is true. And every time I give a reason why the new perspective is true. I'm literally rewiring my brain into a different perspective and detaching from the old perspective. And the more I do that, the more I train my mind to question everything. And so, there's something really powerful about questioning absolutely every single thing you see. So, so in our, money mindset, challenge, we teach a number of different tools to help people shift their, beliefs.

One of the tools we teach is “The Works.” We teach a bunch of other tools. Another one of them is simply choosing to disentangle two concepts that you've glued together. For example, often when we're working with someone in financial coaching I will ask, please complete the following sentence. Rich people are ……… And often people will say things like greedy, selfish, slimy, evil, you know, out to get us, etc.

Myrna: Yes, they hear their parents saying those things.

Shifting your mindset on your beliefs

Chana: Right, they have all of these different, beliefs. And what's really cool is you have a few options of what you can do with let's say, rich people are evil. Okay. You can ask yourself, are there times that you've met rich people who are good or generous?

Then list examples of wealthy people you know, who are particularly generous, and every single time all of a sudden the person is like, oh, yeah, you know, there's this guy in my community, and he's always taking care of everyone. And whenever anybody is in need, they can just go to him and he'll get some cash very quietly, secretly under the table.

And oh, yeah. And you know, my church wouldn't stand if it wasn't for these two women who are really rocking entrepreneurs, and they just they support the entire church and they do it so quietly, and oh, yeah, you know that big philanthropist, he's just giving money away all the time.

If they say poor people are good, so you can ask them have you ever met a poor person who's evil and you're like, oh, yeah, you know, there's this guy and it's like, okay, well, let's look at the vast majority of people who get arrested for theft, are they are rich people are people? The only thing you know for sure is that they're rich. And they are people, right?

Myrna; Right, Rich people are rich, no extra labels!

Why do you believe what you do?

Chana: Another really cool thing that comes from the auction process is a question I really like. It's why do you believe that?

Myrna: I'm sure a lot of people that can't answer that.

Chana: It's shocking how much the, subconscious mind, will give you an answer to these questions. We teach you other tools on how to take those thoughts and turn them into thoughts that support you. And then and then in the third week, we teach you financial principles and, and understandings of how, money, works so that you can really start moving more towards a positive supportive, money mindset.

Myrna: How can listeners connected with you and learn more about your 21 day challenge and, plus get a copy of your book?

Chana: My personal website is www.chanamason.com you can access my books @ Chanamason.com/books. Most of the books, are available as free downloads. I wrote a book together with my husband called “The Cash Machine.” It's all about how to develop financial independence, but it's a novel. It's a love story. It's like a really fun page turner. And we have another book about how to manifest your dreams called “The Size of Your Dreams,” which is also a novel, but also, personal growth, tools. And “Hold That Thought” that you mentioned and “In Our Voices,” are my 2 newest books. So people can go to that page and access any of those books and our, money challenge, they can access on My Courses page on my website, or they can go to www.moneymindsetmadness.com

Additional Resources

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

5 mins with coach Myrna, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, lifecoaching, mindset, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

How To Use Feelings To Manifest Your Dreams

June 24, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

The, secret of feeling, or calling of the invisible realm into the visible and feeling realm is beautifully told in the Bible story of, Isaac, blessing his second son, Jacob, by the belief, based solely upon, feelings, that he was blessing his first son, Esau.

One of the reasons all the wealth coaches tell you to first visualize how much money you want and then use your, feelings, to visualize it in your hand is because, emotions, and, feelings, are the invisible forces that creates.

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Bible story of Esau and Jacob

It is told that, Isaac, who was old and blind, felt that he was about to leave this world and wishing to bless his first-born son, Esau, before he died, sent, Esau, hunting for savory venison with the promise that upon his return from the hunt he would receive his father’s blessing.

Jacob's mother Rebekah overheard the father promise to bless, Esau, and since, Jacob, was her favorite, she encouraged him to deceive his father and get the, first-born, blessing.

She sent, Jacob, to the flock to get a couple of young goats and prepared Isaac’s favorite meal. Then she wrapped Jacob's arms and neck with the skin from the goats so, Jacob, would feel like his brother, Esau.

Jacob deceives Isaac with feeling

When, Jacob, went in to see his father pretending to be his brother his father said you don’t sound like, Esau, come closer so I can feel you. Isaac, felt the hairy skin and through these, feelings, was convinced he was speaking to, Esau, and proceeded to give his, first-born, blessing.

He blessed him with an abundance of grain and wine which represents the later promise of a land flowing with, milk and honey. He blessed him with being the master over his brothers and having them bow down to him which represents the later blessing of being the head and not the tail the lender and not the borrower.

Finally, he blessed him that all who cursed him would be cursed and all who blessed him would be blessed, that took care of all his enemies both seen and unseen forever.

Feelings, consciousness and desire

The, secret of feeling, is that whatever you desire you must use your, feelings, before it manifests. Isaac, the blind father, is your consciousness; your awareness of being.

Esau, the hairy son, is your objectified world, the, present moment, your present environment, the world you know from your, senses.

Jacob, represents your desire or subjective state. An idea not yet embodied; in short your defined objective.

What's the science? Subjective feelings, are central to everyday human life from forgetfulness to, feeling, ill or having a good day with a friend. Subjective feelings, is the current subjective phenomenological state of an individual.

The secret to feeling your way to your defined objective:

To use, feelings, to manifest your desires, first send your, problem, hunting. That means to take your attention off the problem.
Second – With your eyes closed and your attention removed from your present circumstances fix your mind on your, desire. Begin to access your, feelings, on what you want to manifest. Feel that the very place you are is the place desired; feel and sense the reality of it until you are consciously impressed with this fact.
Thirdly – in your, imagination, see the thing desired. If you cannot visualize it, use your, feelings, to sense the general outline of it; contemplate it. Then mentally draw it close to you, Isaac, said “Come close my son that I may feel you” feel the nearness of it, feel it to be in your immediate presence, feel the reality and solidity of it, feel it and see it placed in the room which you are seated, feel the thrill of actual accomplishment, and the joy of possession.

Conclusion

This is how you use, feelings, to manifest your, dreams, and, desires, and walk in your blessings of abundance.

This is coach Myrna Young and you are listening to 5 mins with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

The Law of Attraction: How Vibrational Energy Works

Life Coaching, life coaching blog, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

Who Are You? How To Connect To Your Inner Guidance

June 13, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

Matheo Galatis teaches how we can connect to our, inner guidance system, to know ourselves and to find, who are you, your beliefs systems inherited from your, genetic patterns. Once you know, who are you, then you will be able to use the, law of Attraction, to get the things you want in life.

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BIO

Matheo Galatis founder of the, Know Yourself teachings, aimed at supporting you to cut through the confusion in the, personal development industry, and learn about the hidden dynamics that affect your life. He has trained over 200 professional coaches, was a director of a coaching company in South Africa, worked in organizations such as Oracle stratus, South Africa, Mars, Africa and clients from 27 different countries, ranging from successful CEOs, political and public personalities, executives, coaches, trainers, therapists, and entrepreneurs.

But they are mistaking the, personal development industry, to a whole new level by supporting people to find what he calls your, transformational why. The one thing that usually prevents people from getting, unstuck, and achieving their desires.

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We develop our belief systems from genetic patterns

Myrna: That's an awesome Bio. It seems that you are in the work of service helping people to get to know them selves again. What was your journey to becoming a teacher of, personal development? How do we pick up these, genetic patterns?

Matheo: Essentially this is what happens. To know, who are you, and, know yourself, I explain in quite a bit of detail the different ways we take on stuff from our parents and the generations before. It can happen through observation. When we're growing up, we have certain experiences and we observe our parents, we start mimicking what our parents do.

So, that's one way, but it runs even deeper. Our parents, sometimes they have something unexpressed in themselves, a dream or maybe an emotion that's suppressed. And they've suppressed that, they push it down. Now what happens is when they conceive a child, the DNA of the supreme shun or the suppression is obviously encoded into the gene, because everything is according to the gene.

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

The suppression gene and knowing who you are

The gene knows there's a, suppression, and that gene goes into the child and the child now has a, suppression. Now the job of the, suppression, sharing is not to be there. The purpose is when something's suppressed, it's suppressed momentarily or temporarily moved and at some point in life it needs to be expressed in words.

For example, if someone has a, suppression, at a very young age and they don't process it, its hard for them to know, who you are. They don't work through the short stays inside the system, it's frozen inside the, muscle memory, in the, subconscious mind, of the brain. And what happens is they continue living with us. Now if they don't deal with it in their lifetime, that's obviously restoring the genes and is going to get passed on to the next generation.

Children don't do well at home, they don't become aware of it that's gonna get passed on, so we have something in our evolution that is already in inside of us to help us with, traumatic patterns. Some emotions are blocked, so when children are born later on life at some point they are triggered and that's what pushes the buttons of the parents.

When children start behaving in ways the parents don't like, I call the parent control we think wow my child is out of character. The child is not actually out of character, the child is just mirroring or expressing things that the parent doesn't want to see inside themselves and haven't processed within themselves.

Finding who you are from subconscious patterns

Children will start acting out bringing forth, subconscious patterns, from their parents. A, guidance system, is your, spiritual journey, where you've got like a router or an angel or your higher self, and they're communicating with you. I like to call this the, inner guidance system, is the connection to your, true self, and finding out, who are you.

Your, guidance system, helps you connect to your, true self, when you're not connected to your, true self. When you're connected to yourself, you're able to distinguish in an instant, what is true and right for you versus what is not. In an instant, there is no debate in the mind. There's just a sense of yes or a sense of no. And it's not happening from a fear. It's not happening from a desire, it's happening from this, inner knowing.

These, beliefs, are part of our, belief system, there are, family patterns. So, an example with a, belief system. If you have a, belief system, I'm not worthy, how do you behave? If you're very insecure how do you behave? The other way is to trying to cover up the perceived unworthiness and show that you're worthy. The, belief system, I'm not worthy is a persona which is not you, it's just a, belief system.

Who are you? Are You a people pleaser?

This belief of unworthiness can develop into a, people pleaser. I'm a, people pleaser. The, people pleaser, that person owner's a person has developed in order not to feel the unworthiness.

Myrna: I get what you're saying a lot of times they say the extroverts are covering up some some deep down feeling as well that's why they need to be the life of the party.

Okay so alright so what we're talking about though is our, inner guidance system, and, knowing yourself. What you're saying is you let people understand that the personality that they're projecting to the world is not real. And you help them to connect to their, inner guidance system, to know themselves.

Letting your inner guidance system uncover who you are

Matheo: Right. So that's what I mean by, inner guidance system, is that you have a an innate intelligence telling you what's true and right for you right now. It tells you, who you are.

Myrna: So talk about whats behind, beliefs. I know we talked about that a little bit, but maybe we can expand on it a little bit by because you said, belief systems, are difficult to resolve. So so let's go with our example that we're talking about this person that, you know, doesn't feel that there were any.

So when you go into the training and coaching, you help them understand to peel away those layers and understand, who you are. They're maybe not feeling worthy because of something they inherited or maybe something somebody said to them 40 years ago, or whatever, you need to peel that back. But why do you think it's difficult for someone to resolve that specific, belief system?

Your beliefs are not who you are

Matheo: It is challenging working with a, belief system. A, belief system, was created a long time ago so around up to the age from conception up to the age of seven, eight years old our, belief systems, about ourselves and about life and about other people are formed.

How we perceive the world is being created, so this is at an age where the brain is just absorbing everything that is happening in the world and making associations. But a lot of people might rarely even get to that, belief system, because they're dealing with other, belief systems.

I developed a belief of I'm shy or a persona I'm shy. And because this happened at two years old, I grew up as a shy person, knowing that oh, I'm just shy, I'm just a quiet person, so I'll become an accountant and an auditor. Yeah, because I'm shy. So, who are you? Are you shy or an extrovert?

Train yourself to connect to your emotions, train your souls to connect to your body, so that you know how you feel at any time, whether it's good or bad emotions doesn't matter, connect to them. Allow yourself to have these emotions, because that's how you're going to go down into the, beliefs, and into the other aspects that are hidden inside of you.

And that's what we want to identify and remove what's hidden. Because when you remove what's hidden, then you start to become more and more free.

How to know yourself

Myrna: And that's how you, know yourself, and find out, who you are. This is what we're talking about here. I had a short stint with a therapist. I talked to her for about a month or so, and one of the things I got from those sessions was not to stuff down my feelings but to catch them and breathe into them.

This has been an incredible conversation to highlight your skills highlight what you do for people. And I will tell you there's so many people that are walking around don't know, who they are. I don't want to use I use the word broken, but people become broken from past traumas. So what you what you're doing is phenomenal. Tell us how somebody can sign up or how you offer this training.

Matheo: The teachers that came before me and many researchers and scientists know that the subconscious runs our life. We're able to to retrain and recondition the subconscious, but doing it the correct way is important. We have to uncover what's causing In the subconscious mind to dictate our lives. So I put together the, Know Yourself teachings, and this essentially explains step by step how finding out, who you are, works, how thoughts become, beliefs, how emotions work.

Using your inner guidance system to find out who you are

Emotions, are like a garden system, we go in and out gamify. Not listening to your, inner guidance system, does not bring you back on track.

Myrna: So explain how our, internal guidance system, works when we're not listening to our own, inner guidance.

Matheo: I go through the five different ways that we take on stuff from our parents, help clients realize that there was are many patterns running their life. Many of them was the specifically looking at the, family patterns.

Connect with Matheo and get access to the Know Yourself Teaching @ http://matheogalatis.com/

Additional Resources

5 Ways Millennials Can Stimulate Personal Development

Life Coaching, life coaching blog, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

How to Rewire The Brain to Engage The Law Of Attraction

June 6, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

Bob Doyle, from, the Secret, teaches that we need to do more than concentrate on our, vibration, and, vision boards, for, the law of attraction, to work. We must, rewire our brains. He teaches that the metaphysical aspects of, the law of attraction, or the “reality creation” process is what controls our experiences.

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Bio

Bob Doyle is best known for his contribution to the film and book “The Secret” as a law of attraction expert and coach. He has been teaching these principles through programs, live events, podcasts, live streams, coaching, writing, and even virtual reality, since 1988. He is driven by his passion for creative self-expression and his work is heavily focused on helping people decide whom they want to be and how they want to express themselves.

Recently Bob's attention has shifted from the metaphysical aspects of the, law of attraction, or reality creation process to a more grounded and biological look at what controls our experiences…our, brain.

The Law of Attraction and the Secret

Myrna: After 20 years, why to shift away from the, law of attraction, and, the Secret?

Bob: So, after, the Secret, especially, a lot of people got in the game, the law of attraction, experts were putting out their programs and a lot of them didn't really have the research or experience. They were sort of regurgitating what they got from, the Secret, or had heard. And what happened was that people got very confused about this, law of attraction. Some of them who had not heard of it before, the Secret, got understandably excited about it.

They thought this is how I'm going to get everything I want in my life. I want to learn more about it. So, they go out in the world, and they start learning about it. And they're learning all of these techniques and they're learning about, vibration, and resistance and vibrational resonance, and all this stuff. They're learning about, vision boards, and lists and, visualization, and the whole thing. It's a lot that they're trying to figure out and they're trying all of these different techniques and they're so focused on getting the, law of attraction, right, that they're putting almost no focus on the most important thing, which is who do they need to be to attract those things.

When it is through who we're being, that things happen in the world, our action is expressed the things we say, the thing how we make meaning in the world is all at all a factor of our, brains wiring. So, our experience of reality is all based on how our, brain, is processing this ocean of energy. So, if we're not getting the results that we want in our life, it’s ultimately a factor of our, brains wiring. So, the reason I'm shifting from, law of attraction, to changing your, brains wiring, in terms of a focus for teaching and coaching and, transformation, is because there's nothing to get confused about.

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Rewiring the brain to get results

You don't have to worry about all the processes and the techniques and getting it wrong and self-doubt and all of that stuff. That's it, and that's proven science. So how do we change your, brain, so that you can become the person that get the results or attract the results you want?

Myrna: That's awesome. I do believe that again. I'm one of the ones that went after, the Secret, trying to understand, the law of attraction, and the, vision boarding, and, vibration. But what you're saying is that if you keep your thoughts clean, and your energy positive, the law of attraction, is not going to work for you unless you, rewire the brain.

Bob: No, it's not so, this is the problem. We're getting into this, law of attraction, it’s always working. It's always working and the focus that we're putting on it is confusing the issue. We don't need to understand how gravity works for the glass to fall when we let go of it. We also don't need to understand how, the law of attraction, works. What we need to do is focus on what action we need to take every day so that, the law of attraction, works automatically. Everything in your life, you're attracting it, because you're on this sort of default way of being. It's an, autopilot.

You may not think of it that way. But because of your, brain's wiring, you're not consciously looking at how can you improve your wiring, you're probably going on, autopilot. And all of those, autopilot, behaviors are getting results in the world, that result in your reality. So different results come from different action, different ways of being.

Myrna: right. Okay, so we're talking about, rewiring the brain, but we're talking also about energy and, vibration. I'm trying to understand it for the people that are believed that the energy and vibration is responsible for attracting before we get onto the rewiring.

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Law of attraction and the brain

Bob: Let me make clear that I am not against any of that, I stood for these principles for 20 years and I still believe them the vibration, the energy, the resonant. That's all there. The problem and it the magic, if you will, the invisible stuff, but all of those results in the universe presenting you with something. Now you have to act, what you've been presented, what are you going to do with it and what action can you take that will affect your, vibration, and send out the stuff all the cool, Law of Attraction, stuff. But if we focus so much on the magic issue or the invisible issue or energy, we're not rewiring our, brain.

Myrna: Alright, so that's a good a good segue into how does rewiring the, brain, help us with manifesting in the, law of attraction?

Bob: So, right now we're manifesting totally on, autopilot. For the most part, most people are manifesting is because of their, autopilot wiring, and their behaviors. So, if we want to manifest something different, then we have to focus on changing the wiring within us that will create the action that will get those results. Okay. So, rewiring, is fundamental. The whole premises of this whole conversation is that permanent, transformation. Transformation, does not happen unless the brain is rewired.

If we're not consciously reinforcing all of that, and we're allowing our old triggers to take us back into our old patterns, then we were not going to grow new neural pathways. They're going to be in a permanent place that's going to create new, autopilot behavior.

The personality types of the brain

Myrna: So, I know what you're saying. That's why they're saying that motivation is so good because you're excited for a second, and there's no deep, transformation. Right, exactly. So, I know that you know, in our conversation, that you have a quiz that people can do to get this process started of, rewiring the brain, so you want to talk about it now.

Bob: Yeah, so the very first question is does my behavior is dictated by my wiring? I want to rewire how do I begin, right, like that makes sense. So, to really effectively, rewire the brain, you need to know where your current wiring is, so that you can recognize it when it's at play. And then you can consciously override it. That is the process that's required here. We're going to need to consistently override the old wiring, old thought process.

We're going to need to physically take different actions, we're going to have to consciously make new meaning, but for us to be able to do that we have to be able to see that we're on, autopilot, in the first place. So that's where I created this quiz. And it's called the, transformation personality type quiz. So, it's not your typical, personality type, that's out there in the corporate world. This is something I totally created just for myself based on my own experience. 20 years of dealing with people who are trying to transform that they fall into one of these or more one or more of these four types, personality types, when it comes to, personal transformation.

So, there's nothing wrong with any of these types. And just because you are one of these types, it doesn't mean that you're going to sabotage or slow your efforts. However, if you are a person who has been working on this for a while, and it seems like it should be here by now, then this is this is something you can do to try to figure out what behaviors might I have in going that are stopping me?

Your Autopilot Response

So, the quiz identifies the, personality type. It explains the behaviors that type has that can cause self-sabotage, and then offers very specific things you can do instead. So, I invite anybody reading this, it only takes 60 seconds to take the quiz and it's free. They can go to www.TPTquiz.com. Just as multiple choice they'll know their type. They'll have a video they can watch. They there's a PDF they'll get that explains more about their type and then what they can do about it.

But we can also talk about briefly, you know the four types here so that they if they do take the quiz, then they can you know, they can understand that we're talking about them.

Myrna: Okay, briefly, what are what are the four types?

Bob: So, let's assume that they went in took the quiz and now they're back. Now the number one type most popular is the, seeker type.

The Seeker Brain

The, seeker type, is a person who is very committed to their, personal transformation. They really want the best in their life. And so, to do that, they try everything that comes along. There's nothing wrong with having that kind of wild enthusiasm and curiosity. However, if you're trying to implement something, a process, a new way of thinking, a structured way of thinking that is going to create wiring in your, brain, you got to stay consistent.
You can't just keep flip flopping from approach to approach you're giving your brain no time to grow anything. Remember it's a biological process that starts with thought and intention and consent continues with consistency.

The Skeptic Brain

Number two – the skeptic, obviously wants the best in their life, but maybe they've been burned a few times with this when things didn't show up the way they thought and they made that mean that oh nothing really works. So, the skeptic, while committed to, transformation, generally looks at an opportunity for change. And the question they have internally is, why won't this work for me?

And when you ask yourself or the universe a question like that, you're going to get those answers. If you ask the different questions, you’ll get different answers. So, the same skeptical person who is a, skeptic, they don't want to be duped. They want to be intellectual and logical about this can ask a different question, get different results, and then actually allow themselves to take action. And it's just the opposite of the question they automatically ask.

So instead of saying, why won't this work for me, they asked How could this work for me? And leave us all their intellect in logic and see how I could work? Because if they keep asking themselves the wrong question, they'll never take action. They'll get to be right about how it will work because they'll never get a result. And the law and the logical the skeptical, brain, likes to be right they don't want to look stupid.

The Wizard Brain

The next personality type is – the wizard. The Law of Attraction, community feels, the skeptic, is all logic and the, wizard, is all invisible trust and magic. Rituals, vision boards, the list, visualization, they're just conjuring mentality like I'm using the, law of attraction, to change the energy of the universe so that they will do my bidding, rather than changing themselves. This is where the, alchemy, needs to begin. And then the universe will respond to you, you have to be a cause.
So, the wizard, brain, and all of their rituals helps it's what you were talking about. There is the energy, there is the, vibration. All this stuff is happening. It's sending stuff out there, if you will, but it also needs to be affecting who you are being in the world. You cannot just sit cross legged and be your, wizard, in your cave and not show the world how you are now this new person.
So, the wizardry, brain, needs to be around visioning yourself as this ultimate, wizard. you that's what you're conjuring, not the stuff, not the money, you're conjuring the best version of who will take the action to get those things.

The Heartbreaker Brain

The last one is the – heartbreaker, brain. The, heartbreaker, is the, people pleaser. And the, people pleaser, is someone who really wants to transform and I know that this happens for a lot of people. They stop their progress when the people around them start to get uncomfortable. Start to comment, what are you doing, who do you think you are? Or in some other way, add a negative layer of emotion to your journey.
And so, for whatever your reasons you stop, whether it's to make them comfortable, yourself comfortable or whatever, you stop your journey. Now, a lot of times it is so that mom will be uncomfortable. You won't make that person mad. You're trying to keep everybody comfortable.
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Neuroplasticity of the brain

Myrna: All right. How does, neuroplasticity, fit in into, rewiring the brain? Can you make the connection for us?

Bob: Well, neuroplasticity, is the brain's ability to rewire. So, in essence, it's the same thing. So, neuroplasticity, there's a there's neurogenesis or the ability to grow new brain cells and all those other things, and then, neuroplasticity, which is the ability for it to change. And that's really all we're focused on. There's a lot of people out there in the community, the personal development communities, we're talking about the, brain, now who might have been talking to, law of attraction, before I'm not the only one.

And a lot of these people will go very deep into the parts of the, brain, and how this is all happening. Personally, I'm intentionally not doing that because I'm afraid that what's going to happen is people are going to get focused on that again, just like they were all, the law of attraction, stuff. We weren't meant to have to understand all of us.

We weren't born into this human experience with all this amazing creative potential that we have needing to know all the ins and outs of the biology and how it works. We don't need to know that. All we need to know is that this right here is a reality creation machine. And all we need to do is feed it the vision that we want for ourselves and then move and act and be in alignment with the person who would have that vision and it will all just take care of itself.

But we are adults and just waking up to this we have to understand we have a lifetime wiring a lifetime and it doesn't seem like wiring. It just seems like our truth. And so, anything radically outside of our truth, we're going to have conflict with it. It doesn't fit into our normal paradigm. But we can look past that and see that in the world.

There are people who have the success and the things that we want. It is possible but they are being something different. You don't have to be them. But there is certain action that they're taking, certain ways of being that they are that have brought them those results. It's not magic. It's the result of logical action that you're taking.

Rewiring the brain on autopilot

Myrna: You said something earlier that I want to connect the dots, because you're talking about, rewiring the brain, but that can also be the same thing as, reprogramming. And we're all programmed, by the time we're seven years old, in order to be erase the tape, then we have to, rewire the brain. So, once they take the quiz and then become conscious of their programming. Because 95% of people are not conscious of their programs.

The, Law of Attraction, is working all the time, consciously or unconsciously. What are you thinking? What do you say? I don't want this. That's what's going to show up. What do you say I want this, maybe sometimes it shows up. Whatever is happening to us is that we're recreating it. So, talk a little bit about, autopilot.

Bob: Well, autopilot, if we do not wake up to our wiring to see that we are in fact program. We can probably see some program behavior, we do rituals every day and so on, but how we make meaning out of our lives and how that causes us to take action or not take action. If we don't wake up to that then we are by default on, autopilot, which means we're literally robots just reacting to stimuli based on the wiring that we've the programming that we've been given that we have mostly, subconsciously, just led in without too much critical thinking or evaluating.

So now everything we're doing is on, autopilot, for the most part, even though sometimes it feels like we're making a conscious decision. What is driving that decision? It's probably some, unconscious wiring, that hasn't been properly evaluated, especially if it is in some way limiting you from moving forward toward your dreams. So, we're all running on some sort of, autopilot, until we realize that we are and start being conscious about it.

So, then we get conscious about it for a while, long enough for new neural pathways to form and now we have a new, autopilot, and that, autopilot, is manifesting on a different level. It's creating different results because we visualize what we need to do. We take that action, we make different meaning, we don't buy into old limiting stories. So much of a part of this is giving up all of our old stories.

Beliefs and the Brain

Myrna; The old stories, you're talking about beliefs?

Bob: Beliefs, like my dad did this, or I've lived here and I didn't have this and bla bla bla all the reasons, all the sad stories. And the thing is this, yeah, if you keep hanging on to those, beliefs, you will always be a prisoner of them. You have to let them go and tell yourself a new story. Because most of what you're telling yourself in this story that is affecting you and causing you to not take action, is a lie.

Anyway, its interpretation is something you made up based on some action that did occur. How you move forward in your life is something that you made up based on your wiring. So, we want to create wiring in the, brain, that moves you in the action that you need to take to get what you want.

Myrna: How can readers learn more about your program and what you offer. How you help people, rewire their brain?

Bob: Well, the quiz is a good front door to everything, because then we all know where we stand. I know how to help you, and you could use some assistance, so that is a good way to get it. After you take the quiz, you'll learn about our boundless living challenge, which is where I do the work with people. It's an online community. They have 45 days of new content every day that's real short and concise. They know exactly what to do every day.

They have tools to deal with the emotional spikes that come with all of this rewiring process. They have coaching on a regular basis. All the things I know after 20 years of coaching people actually helps people make a change, isn't it? If they just want to know more general stuff about me there's www.meetBobdoyle.com that just my website, you can get to the quiz from there as well. And then you can also see how I coach and train and some of the other stuff that I'm doing.

https://youtu.be/jt2LMmpSsY8

Additional Resources

The Law of Attraction: How Vibrational Energy Works

5 mins with coach Myrna, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, lifecoaching, mindset

Your Pain Reveals Your Purpose

June 4, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

Your, pain, reveals your, purpose. God has a, strategy, for your life and sometimes he makes the story painful, but the, strategy, is good.

How would you know, pleasure, if you never experience, pain? It is not the good times that prepares us; it is the, pain.

Your painful mistakes do not affect your, miracles, they are a precursor to them. Look at the Bible stories of Moses and David.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10653593-your-pain-reveals-your-purpose.mp3?download=true

Moses pain was God's strategy

Moses, was a murderer and David was an adulterer and a murderer. They are the most talked about men in the Bible. Their mistakes did not affect their, miracles. Maybe it was God’s, strategy, to use their painful pasts to get them in the right, mindset, for him to use them for his glory.

Your background prepares you for your, miracle.

Whenever you survive, struggle, and God, made a way out of no way, you get stronger. When the next challenge comes your way, you say I have been through this before so I can handle this. Sometimes the, struggle, reveals your faith.

I have been cheated on before, if I made it through that, I can make it through this. You have to have the tenacity to say:

I been through the fire, but it didn’t burn me. I been through the, divorce, having no money in the bank, sickness but I am still standing. I went through the fire, but it did not consume me.

God prepares us before he propels us.

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Pain teaches you how to fight

Pain teaches you how to fight for your kids, for your marriage, for your finances.

Jesus said “No one takes my life; I lay it down.” Don’t give anyone the permission to keep you down, use that, pain, as your fuel and let it reveal your, purpose.

The book, The Alchemist, teaches that we all have beginners luck when we decide to pursue our, personal legend, but before we realize it we will be tested. God will send some, pain. It will feel like going through a hail storm with the universe throwing rocks at you to determine how badly you want to win. Most will fold up and say it is too hard, it is too dangerous, it is too scary etc. That is why they say the richest place on earth is the graveyard because most die with their gifts unused.

Pain reveals Purpose

Have you heard Tyler Perry’s story? Tyler Perry put on plays for 2 years and nobody came. The seats were empty but he continued. He even started living in his car because he had no money for rent. He was spending all his money on renting the facilities to put on his plays. He used his pain to reveal his purpose.

One day someone called him. (Your blessings will always find you.) and wanted to partner with him. He agreed and they planned an event but it turned out to be the coldest night in Atlanta he thought the seats would be empty again. He was surprised to see the long lines of people waiting to get into the theatre.

Because he pushed through the, pain, he knew that he had found his, purpose. That was the start of his success. He never looked back. He is now in the self-made billionaire club

It was Gods, strategy, to teach, Tyler Perry, how to be successful. He passed the test, can you?

https://youtu.be/_gTIRPzSpl0

Conclusion

This is coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna until next time Namaste.

Additional Resources

When God Chooses You: You Can’t Mess Up Destiny

5 mins with coach Myrna, Have no fear, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, personal development podcast

Sometimes You Have To Jump In

May 30, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

Fear, can keep you on the sidelines. Sometimes you have to tell, fear, you are not welcome here and just, jump in. Sometimes it is a life-or-death situation like drowning, other times it is jumping in that job you are not sure of, jumping in the marriage even though you have doubts, jumping into taking that night class even though you don’t know how you will juggle child care and a full-time job.

First Corinthians 2:9 says, “However, as it is written: ‘What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived’ — the things God has prepared for those who love him.” But in order to experience what He has prepared for us, we have to, jump in.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10653649-sometimes-you-have-to-jump-in.mp3?download=true

Don't let your children drown: Jump in

When I was a young mother, my greatest, fear, was what would I do if my kids were drowning. Would I, jump in, to save them even though I didn’t know how to swim?

I quieted that, fear, by taking a swimming class at the YWCA and also making sure that my children learned to swim. Both my children are strong swimmers and can swim in the ocean. My skills are limited to the pool.

But I recently heard a story that made my blood run cold. At a church picnic by the river a young boy accidentally stepped into the deep end and went under water. Six other boys, jumped in, to save him. All six of them drowned; they never came back up. All six of them had parents watching who never, jumped in, to save them, because they didn’t know how to swim. So, I am asking you this question. If you don’t how to swim would you, jump in, to save your child?

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Should you jump in?

So many times, we are faced with this decision in life should I, jump in, and trust God to take my hand and bring me out? Or do I let, fear, keep me on the side lines? Sometimes it is a life-or-death situation like drowning, other times it is jumping in that job you are not sure of, jumping in, the marriage even though you have doubts, jumping into taking that night class even though you don’t know how you will juggle child care and a full-time job.

How many women did not accept that marriage proposal in their 20s because you were afraid to, jump in, and today you are alone because you never got another proposal? If you had, jumped in, God may have taken your hand and allowed you to navigate the rough waters. My husband proposed to me after 11 months and I decided to, jump in, and quiet the negative thoughts that told me you should date for 2 years before getting married because people show their true colors after 2 years. This month is out 16-year wedding anniversary. God has held my hand through the rough times.

Moses, Jeremiah and Gideon jumped in the deep end of God’s will, and God did amazing works through each of them.

Jump in and tell the Devil to get behind you

Look the Devil in the eye and tell him get behind me Satan, not today. You are not keeping me on the sidelines rooted in fear. I am jumping in.

Allowing the, fear, of “what if” to mess with our mind and rule our heart will smother your confidence and courage with an avalanche of doubt.

Fear, has no choice but to leave the premises when we stand on God’s promises and say, “You are not welcome here.” I am, jumping in, and trusting God.

Tell the Devil “You can’t have my peace; you can’t have my family”

If you are fearful, jump in.

If you get in the water this is where healing takes place. If you get in the water God will show up.

You have to learn how to hold on to something that is broken until you get to the next level.

Stay afloat by just kicking your feet. Refuse to go down, just keep kicking.

Refuse to do the backstroke. You are never going back to feeling like that. You are never going back to loneliness. Don’t be afraid of the water. God has not given you a, spirit of fear.

Declare faith over fear and, jump in.

https://youtu.be/FYpwLm3YWSs

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/no-fear-live-with-courage/

5 mins with coach Myrna, Life Coaching, life coaching blog, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

If life Gives You Lemons Make Other Plans

April 29, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

You have all heard of the expression “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It is a proverbial phrase that is used to encourage people to stay optimistic and to keep fighting in the face of adversity or misfortune. Lemons, suggests sourness and difficulty in life; making, lemonade, with, lemons, that is being handed out to you turns the whole sour episode into something sweet, positive, and desirable.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10523424-when-life-gives-you-lemons-make-other-plans.mp3?download=true

Here is a story to illustrate How to Make lemonade out of lemons

When the British colonized India, they built a golf course in Calcutta, and they had a problem with the, monkeys. The, monkeys, would pick up the balls the golfers hit and put it somewhere else.

They tried to solve the problem by building a fence around the course, but, monkeys, climb, so that didn’t work.
They tried to lure the, monkeys, away with bananas, but then some were lured away, and others weren’t. Plus, all the, monkeys, for miles around would show up to feed on their favorite food, so that didn’t work either.
Finally, they changed the rules and had the golfers play the ball from wherever the, monkeys, dropped it. If life gives you lemons, make other plans.

This is a strange story to depict the mantra “if life gives you lemons, make, lemonade, or other plans.” We don’t always get sugar and spice and everything that is nice, most of the time, things don’t work out the way we planned.

We make plans but God makes other plans

One of my favorite shows was Private Practice. Addison made a statement on the show that says

“We make plans but God, make other plans, he has the last word”

Your desire to have a baby could be so strong that you pray every day, you dream of your child every day, you think of your life with your baby every day, but it’s been 5 years and you are not pregnant. The doctors say you are infertile. Time to play the ball where the, monkeys, dropped it and make, lemonade, out of your, lemons. Make other plans, adopt a child, foster a child, look for a surrogate mother or start fertility treatments.

Another way to use the proverb, if life give you lemons, make, lemonade, is to practice the, law of detachment. This law states that in order to manifest our desires, we must release attachment to the outcome itself as well as the path we might take to get there, that you should only be attached to your end goal not the journey.

You can put the law of detachment to work with these steps:

1. Today I will commit myself to, detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are. I will not rigidly impose my idea of how things should be. I will not force solutions on problems, thereby creating new problems. I will participate in everything with detached involvement.

2. Today I will factor in uncertainty as an essential ingredient of my experience. In my willingness to accept uncertainty, solutions will spontaneously emerge out of the problem, out of the confusion, disorder, and chaos. I will understand that, if life gives me lemons, I will make other plans. The more uncertain things seem to be, the more secure I will feel, because uncertainty is my path to freedom. Through the wisdom of uncertainty, I will find my security.

3. I will step into the field of all possibilities and anticipate the excitement that can occur when I remain open to an infinity of choices. When I step into the field of all possibilities, I will experience all the fun, adventure, magic, and mystery of life.

If life gives you lemons remember the goal is the destination

If your goal is to retire and travel the world, that is your, destination goal. The journey could take you around that golf course several times back and forth, sometimes you would be stuck in the sand box, sometimes you will hit the ball in the lake, but if you keep playing you will eventually get to the 18th hole. Use this analogy for your life, just keep playing the, game of life. Don’t be attached to the journey just the, destination goal. If life gives you lemons, make other plans.

The target affects the arrow! Keep the target in your vision and the arrow will find it.

Forrest Gump said it best, life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you are going to get so, if life gives you lemons, make other plans.

This is coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna.

Additional Resources

The Events in Life Work Together for Your Good

Life Coaching, life coaching blog, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

The Law of Attraction: How Vibrational Energy Works

April 25, 2022 Myrna Morris Young

Ginny Gane, Law of Attraction coach, empowers women to transform mediocre lives into experiences of true abundance, joy, and love through levering the principles of, the Law of Attraction.

Leveraging our vibrational power allows us to create more love, harmony, and freedom in our lives.

Download the podcast Here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10498383-the-law-of-attraction-how-vibrational-energy-works.mp3?download=true

Abraham Hicks started my Law of Attraction Journey

Ginny: I've always been in the self-improvement space. I've been reading all the books from Self-improvement masters like Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Deepak Chopra. I was traveling in Australia for a year on my own and the, Law of Attraction, part of this story is there was a day and I was feeling blah. I said to myself, oh, God, what's going on? What am I doing?

I have no money, blah, blah. And I called my parents told them how I was feeling, and they suggested I get this book called “The Astonishing Power Of Your Emotions” by Abraham Hicks. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, whatever, guys, okay. And so, I hung up the phone, and I picked up my backpack and went to walk back to my hostel and as I was walking along past a bookstore, I saw that exact book on a table in front of the store.

I was like, that, oh, my goodness this cannot be a coincidence. And I looked it over and I'm like, it's $35. I can eat for a year on that. So, I walked away but there was just something that won’t let me leave it alone. As soon as I read that book, it was the piece I was looking for. It's what allowed me to feel empowered about my life and have some idea of control over it. I understood things can't just happen to you. That is how I got started and I had never ever thought about it in a business. I just loved it.

I started using, Law of Attraction, in my life. And then a few years later a friend of mine said to me, Hey, you're basically my, law of attraction coach, and I said, What's that? What does that mean? I had no idea, and I was like that this could be a career path. I had always been passionate about doing something I loved. Whatever I was going to pick for work, I wanted to love it. And so, I was like well, I love this. I would always be reading or talking about, the law of attraction. I never get tired of it.

And so just and I was like, Okay, great. Then the rest is history. And my path here and teaching has just continued to evolve and become deeper and more transformational in, Law of Attraction coaching.

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Feeling good is the doorway for the Law of Attraction

Myrna: I absolutely love that. So, when you read the book, by Abraham Hicks, you were in Australia for a reason. Why were you backpacking in Australia?

Ginny: You know, the biggest thing that I started to practice was just paying attention to what I was thinking and how I was feeling, because that's like such a foundation right to utilizing, the law of attraction. And basically, building this internal awareness of what was going on because when we do that, then we know what's going on in our, vibration. I would just start to notice how things were matching and lining up.

So, when I woke up, and I felt really good, and I was walking along the beach and feeling happy, and I was like, Oh, you're thinking about how good life is and then you feel happy. Okay, so there's that connection. And then I would find $1 on the ground, or I would run into and have a really nice conversation with someone. I just started to pay attention and notice how, the law of attraction, was at play in my life. And that was I think the biggest shift I made before I really started to do anything else.

I've never really been like, trying to manifest things. I just feel like we're here to live such a full life and a full experience.

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Myrna: Wayne Dyer talks about the power of intention, which is basically the same thing as, the law of attraction. But he also talks about feeling good. When you're feeling good you know your, vibration, is good.

Change your thoughts change your life

Ginny: I have Wayne Dyer's book called “Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life”. Yeah, feeling good changes your life. What about you? How did you get into introduced to , the law of attraction?

Myrna: Well, like I first learned about, the law of attraction, from to just be Deepak Chopra and then I read Robin Sharma’s book “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” Then I bumped on to Abraham Hicks and her work with the, vortex. I have stuff in my, vortex, that I needed to manifest. That was my introduction and I work with, the laws of attraction, daily.

Let's transition into that. You talked about leveling your, vibrational power, and using, vibrational energy, for manifestation, you mentioned that you weren't very big in manifestation. but, as a, Law of Attraction coach, to your clients, I'm pretty sure that they want to manifest stuff. So how do you help them?

Ginny: I find manifesting some of the bigger things in life requires finding that balance of wanting what you want, allowing that desire to flow through you and being happy, feeling good where you're at. It's this tricky because if we get too focused on our desires, what starts to happen is we notice that they're not there. And so, we start activating more of the lack energy or the lack vibration and then attracting more of that.

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But I think one of the powerful parts of manifesting is just knowing we have this power. So, it's not only, the law of attractions, happening, it's happening now in every single human's life. The Law of Attraction, is at play the same way as the, law of gravity. We're using it no matter if we are aware of it or not. There's nothing mysterious or magical we must do. The Law of Attraction, is here for us 24/7. And so, the more we pay attention to it, the more powerful it becomes for us. Our, vibration, is attracting things to us.

Vibrations and the law of attraction

Myrna: So true, we are manifesting whether we are aware of it or not. People don't understand why they’re getting all these things in their life that they didn't then ask for, but as a, Law of Attraction coach, you know that they are manifesting it from there, vibration. So, explain, what is vibration.

Ginny: We are, manifesting, in every moment of every day and so, the Law of Attraction, works by responding to the, vibration, you're embodying or putting out into the world. So, the way I like to think about it is like we're constantly emitting this energy. And the, Law of Attraction, is constantly responding by bringing conditions that match that, energy. Now we know what that, energy, is attracted by how we feel. So, we measure and interpret, vibration, through emotion.

Myrna: You're going to attract conditions that is similar to whatever emotion you're feeling. If you spend a lot of time in anger or frustration, you're going to attract negative conditions that vibrates at the same frequency of anger or frustration. We never get out of the cycle, that is why we must pay attention to our, emotions, and, vibration.

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Ginny: Yes, and it is there's that's a real thing it’s like this momentum that builds up. So, we will attract frustrating conditions and then we will look at the condition and then feel bad and then we'll look at what is next. It's just the cycle. So, until we become aware of that cycle, we have no chance to stop it or to do something different. So the first thing we can do is just start to become aware of what you are getting back.

Vibration is energy

Myrna: You said something a minute ago that resonated with me, because I work a lot of my, energy. I work a lot of my, vibration. I do it every day several times a day, but mostly, I do it in the morning when I walk into the park because, we know that communing with nature builds of good, vibrations. I spend a lot of time in nature trying to clear up my, energy. But you said something a minute ago and it just reminded me that sometimes when you spend too much time on something, you build up resistance. So tell us where is the line, how long should we focus on something before we started building up resistance to, manifesting, it?

Ginny: Myrna this is the tricky part because this line moves, so depending on what's going on in your life, or what side of the bed you wake up on, your focus will either be really easy and flowing or it will be more resistant. Only you know how it feels and this is my guidance on this, a lot of people get stuck on this is if you're thinking about what you want and you're thinking about it and thinking about it thinking about it and It's not coming, then there's resistance there, no doubt.

But you must pay attention to how you're feeling when you're thinking about the thing you want. How you're feeling when you think about the thing you want, because it's the thoughts that feels good about what you want that are bringing you closer to it, but if you're having resistant thoughts, even the thoughts even thoughts like this is never going to happen.

Myrna: You're saying okay, I want this. It's not coming, maybe you're saying maybe it's never going to come or you know that kind of, negative thoughts. For example, you are thinking, I would like a red Mercedes and the minute you say you would like to red Mercedes, you immediately have the thought but I can never afford one. That is a resistant thought and cancels out the manifestation of that red Mercedes.

How to visualize to manifest your dreams

Ginny: Correct. But you can think about the red Mercedes, and you can end as long as you're feeling open and allowing and joyful and you're like, oh, that's exciting. I love the way that feels, then that's great. But the moment it switches, and this is that line, you were talking about. The moment it switches from like, Oh, I love the Mercedes and blah, blah But when will that happen? Then you're like well, okay, time to stop thinking about the Mercedes.

So, if you're wanting that red Mercedes, a little bit of resistance there, because you’re noticing it hasn't come yet. It's better for you to start thinking about something completely different, thinking about walking by the ocean. That gives you that same feeling and that opens the pathway for the red Mercedes to come in. This is one of the misconceptions is that we think we need to think about the details of everything we want in order to manifest it. We don't need to need to obsess about thinking about the details. We do need to obsess about being in that, vibration, in that feeling place.

Myrna: Yes, I work on that. I try that okay. So how can we leverage, law of attraction, to manifest our dreams and desires? We talked a little bit about this, but are you talking here about the, vortex, or is the same? Feeling good?

3 steps for working with the Law of Attraction

Ginny: Yeah. The I kind of give three like simple steps in this. We can talk more about them. But the first thing is to ask yourself that question, I'm sure everyone's familiar with it.

What do I really want? You know, how so let's say what do I really want? I really want that red Mercedes.
Well, what does it feel like? This is number two. Why does that feel like when you're driving in it? What does that feel like? And so you're I what you're doing is you're identifying the, vibration, that you think that thing will get you.
And so now step number three is feeling that way activating the feeling that you want. So we tend to think the car is going to bring us the feeling, but when we're leveraging, the Law of Attraction, we have the power to activate the feeling and then, the law of attraction, can bring us the car. So how would you say that that it feels to be driving in that red Mercedes?

Myrna: I visualize it. I try to, visualize, my hand on the steering wheel.

I, visualize, the smell.
I visualize the sound that's coming through the radio.
I visualize driving down the road in a convertible and the wind is blowing my hair

Ginny: What's the emotion there? What's that emotion when you're visualizing all that? What are you feeling? Is it like freedom? Joy, happiness, contentment, like what's the what's the emotion there?

Emotions and the law of attraction

Myrna: Well, my emotion is feelings of abundance and Success. I am feeling good.

Ginny: So, then that's what you take into step three. You want the red Mercedes if makes you feel successful, abundant, and free. When we identify with the feelings and, emotions, now, we can go straight to it. Now we can start feeling that success on purpose. And we start directing our thoughts to make us feel successful. And then the car can come in because we're in alignment with the feeling of success.

Myrna: I hear every coach talking about walking in it before you receive it. They're not necessarily saying it's, Law of Attraction.

Ginny: Another fun thing about, the Law of Attraction, is it is everywhere. In all the teachings everywhere. It's in the Bible. It's just not always called, the Law of Attraction.

Myrna: In the Bible is called faith.

Ginny: Exactly, yes. Faith is in prayer.

The Law of Attraction, doesn't. play favorites. It doesn't want what's good for you. It just responds to your, vibration. it's not pulling you one way saying, hey, this is your path come here. That's not, the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction, only operates in this physical world and is just responding so it doesn't care. If you feel happy about this or sad about this. It's just going to respond to how you feel about something.

Everything is vibrating at a frequency

So, like we talked about earlier, vibration, is just energy. It's just like electricity, it's energy. And we interpret, vibrations, through our emotions. There's an emotional scale. So, the same as there's a frequency scale of energy, measured in Hertz from zero Hertz to 1000 hertz. Our, vibration, is very similar. It's just a measure of that frequency.

And so there's low frequencies and there's high frequencies, and our, emotions, match up. Our lower frequency, emotions, are those like fear and guilt and sadness. Our higher frequency, emotions, are the happiness, the joy, the hopefulness, those kinds of, emotions. How we feel is our interpretation of the, vibration, we are emitting and what, Law of Attraction, is attracted to.

Myrna: All right. I was reading something new today and it made me aware that everything is vibrating at an, energy, the walls in your house, the bed that you sleep in, the trees in nature, the rocks all are vibrating at an energy frequency. When I go to the park, I sit on rocks because the rock is vibrating. I'm trying to blend with the, vibrational frequency, of the rock.

Ginny: That's why we feel so good in nature, because nature is connected to source, what you are talking about is Alignment. Alignment is when your emotions are like in alignment with our God Self, or our Source self, that nonphysical part of us. And so, when there's alignment between how we're thinking and feeling, and that other part of us we feel good.

Nature, animals, they stay in this mostly connected place. That's why we love to be around them. They're just unconditional love pouring through. That's why it feels so peaceful to be in nature is because we're literally surrounded by these, vibrations, that are all in alignment.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

A champion's Mindset

Myrna: Tell us about your book “A Champion’s Mindset.” I know that your first book that you read from Abraham Hicks was regarding emotions, but she also talks about the, vortex, tell us about your book.

Ginny: Yeah, my book was exciting to write. I just want people to know that they have the power to create their reality. That's available for everyone, no matter where you are, where you're starting, your past anything. We all have this capacity. And so, my book goes over the basics of how to start leveraging this and applying it in your life.

So just like I said, those three steps are in there and there's a process that that walks you through what's going on how to start paying attention, and just gives you this understanding. I think one of the biggest things for me that allowed me to step into my power was just knowing how and why I was creating my reality. And so that's what a champion mindset is about is like helping you understand so that you can be the champion of your own life.

Myrna: Yeah, a champion mindset, right. Of course. This show is all about, you know, transforming your mind.

Ginny: It is when you go from this place of being a victim and not in a bad way, but just feeling like life is happening to us, like we're the victim. It even pops up for me now occasionally. When I forget, oh, yeah, you can change how you feel about this. Whether it's the traffic or the weather, we have all these preconceived ideas about why this is happening to me, but we must remember we are the Co-creators of this life.

We get to work with life, that life isn't just an accident. It's not just happening to us. And so, we go from this place of victimhood to this place of empowerment. The freedom that comes from that is what is also on a global scale, we need empowered individuals in order for our world to become more peaceful.

You can pick up a copy of the Champion’s Mindset on Amazon or wherever you get your books.

I love to hang out on Instagram @ginnygane my website is www.Ginnygane.com.

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/using-the-law-of-attraction-to-have-it-all/