Fixing the root and not the fruit. You can’t change the fruit without changing the root. Fixing the root, means we must change our, limiting beliefs, to have the desired fruits. The fruits of life are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
You may have heard the phrase, external locus of control. That is when your happiness is derived from events outside yourself.
Today I want to talk about an, internal locus of control. That means fixing the root vs fixing the fruits. Putting our focus on beliefs, our roots not our behaviors, the fruit.
In other words, If you want to change the visible, you must first change the invisible.” If you want to change the fruit, you must plant a different seed.
We will look at both of these phrases today because we want to, fixing the root and not the fruit.
Internal locus of control, means that control comes from within. You have personal control over your own behavior. When you have an, internal locus of control, you believe you have personal agency over your own life and actions. Because of this, these people tend to have more, self-efficacy.
If you have an, internal locus of control, you will not let people push your buttons. Firstly, let’s look at people finding our soft underbelly and deliberately pushing it to get a reaction from us. We’ve all had our buttons pushed to the point where we feel we can’t take it anymore. The button pusher may or may not be aware that they are exposing your unresolved hurt or trauma, but the truth of the matter is that the buttons belong to us, and we are the ones who must deal with what comes up. The more we take responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, the less tender these buttons will be.
That is why, fixing the root, and not the fruit is important
When you, fix your root, and be at peace with yourself you will find the peace that defies all understanding that Jesus preached about.
The button pushers will stop trying to get a reaction from you, the bully’s will stop trying to make you feel bad about yourself etc.
For the longest time my button was my age. I understand why that guy called Lebron James old. He is a button pusher. He was pushing Lebron’s buttons not sure if Lebron James was ruffled by that or he was secure in his roots. I have fixed my roots on my age issue. Change the way you think of a thing and the thing you think of will change.
So, fixing the root, will have you worrying less about your fruit. By fruit I mean your behavior when someone is nasty to you, call you names, or pushes your buttons, you can just respond by saying that is me. I accept it or that is not me and I reject that. I am not letting that stick to me.
Here are some characteristics we get after, fixing the root.
Hard working– always putting in effort to achieve goals
Confident – recognizing the skills and knowledge required to overcome challenges
Physical healthy – considering it their active obligation to eat healthily, partake in regular exercise, and remaining diligent in keeping up with medical appointments
Responsible – holding themselves accountable for successes and their mistakes or failures
Positive – feeling happiness, peaceful, and relaxed about the future because increased control over life leads to minimal stress
Independent – not relying on others for success
Studious – valuing knowledge and the skills it contributes to overcome obstacles
High self-esteem – respectful of oneself and confident in abilities
We have to change the, negative thinking. I work on not just on your, stinkin thinking, but also your behaviors, because they both work in sync together. So for example, if your, stinkin thinking, is all men are liars and cheaters, you’re coming in to a relationship waiting to be cheated on and lied to and that is what you manifest.
Jaime B. Haas is founder of the Jaime B. Haas Method, a guided process that draws from spirituality, positive psychology, mindfulness and life experiences. The Method helps individuals heal from intergenerational, societal and emotional trauma, freeing them to reconnect with their personal power, gain clarity on what they really want to achieve in life, and dismantle any deep-seated beliefs holding them back from moving forward. Her work is motivated by a painful past, at 40 she came to a place of complete surrender. Her approach is rooted in the belief that when you focus on finding the root of the pain and the related stories you’ve told yourself you will be able to change the way you see yourself and the world. Known to her clients as the Soul Surgeon, they say her Method has helped heal wounds that no other modality, including therapy, was able to help them achieve and find lasting love—starting with themselves
Myrna: Can you share your back story. You mentioned that at 40 years old you came to a place of complete surrender. How was your childhood?
Jaime: Finding the, core programming, right? I’ll try and give you the basics, but I was adopted having a younger sister. My parents have isms. So, isms would be like, food addiction, spending addictions. My father left when I was 10 years old, for another woman that he was cheating with on my mother, and I went and moved in with her and her children. And so, that was the beginning of the end, because I worshiped my father. When my father walked out on my mother, she became completely emotionally unavailable. Her addiction started taking off and then I had very abusive step family that were very intent on hurting me and trying to divide my father and I.
Myrna: So sad. It sounds like it’s still painful for you to talk about. But I wanted to get the connection between your childhood and your adult story.
Jamie: Thank you. Yeah, I mean, I feel sad for little me. You know what I mean? I think I’ve done so much work around it. I don’t really talk about myself as much anymore, I talk to my clients. My mother wound up hating men and had a lot of negative stories about men that she used to pour into me, and also a lot of stuff around money and work. My father was like, you’re just gonna get married to this rich Jewish man and be taken care of. Don’t worry about you wanting to dance or you want to act. No, none of that’s gonna happen. Those are just a few of the multitude of stories and programming that I got that created me at 40 in the bottom.
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Our Negative Thinking is downloaded from our parents
Myrna: Okay, let’s talk about the positive things now. So, when you hit rock bottom, you spent two years figuring out why. What I’m understanding is that you started erasing all those, negative thoughts and, negative thinking, stinkin thinking, that was downloaded into you by your mom. Let’s say somebody is in the same scenario or situation and they can’t seem to make it happen. How can we start changing the, negating thinking? Yeah, what is the first thing you do?
Jaime: I just want to be clear; this is for men or women because I work with a lot of men, that maybe been divorced. We have to go back to the, root belief system. Most of my women clients are very angry at men and have very specific thoughts and, beliefs, about men and relationships. And my men clients are very angry at women and has very specific experiences, thoughts and beliefs around women. First, we have to get to what is the top, negative belief, or limiting fear-based thoughts that’s going on in your head. So, I usually start with that and most people the first, negative thoughts, we must release are “men are liars and cheaters” and “women are all controlling”.
Myrna: Wow, you hit the nail on the head. If we’re going to characterize men, that’s actually pretty good.
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Jaime: Because that’s a, negative thought, right? Or a, limiting belief, or a, fear-based thought, but it’s the prevailing thought that’s driving the ship. Because then you make all of your decisions based on how you’re going to protect yourself, how you’re going to react to something new.
Myrna: So, let’s say that you were you think that all men are liars and cheaters, and that’s because maybe your father cheated on your mom. Then you experienced it yourself. And maybe you have a sample of two or three, but then you say all men are liars and cheaters. How do you change this, stinkin thinking?
Jaime: So let me see if I can break it down in a different way for you because if you’ve had an experience and you are thinking that all men are cheaters. We have to change that, negative thinking. I work on not just on your, stinkin thinking, but also your behaviors, because they both work in sync together. So it’s like if your, stinkin thinking, is all men are liars and cheaters, you’re coming in to a relationship waiting to be cheated on and lied to.
So this is where the pattern where it comes in. So you come in and whatever the, coping mechanisms, you have set up for your, negative thinking, and specific behaviors you’re doing, bring you back to the original pain. So you have all these behaviors to protect yourself, but in the end, you end up been lied to and cheated on. And you’re like, I knew it. How did I end up here again?
Myrna: Yep, whatever you think about, you bring about.
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Negative thinking affects our behaviors
Jaime: That’s correct. Well, and this is I’m trying to explain to you in a bigger way and I can then unpack it in a smaller way, but I need it because my, belief system, is based on that you are in a state of woundedness. You will continue to bring in people and situations to take you back to the wound to reaffirm the pain. So okay, that’s manifesting 101.
But it’s in direct relation to not just our, negative thinking, but how we’re behaving. So how are we going to change that? So on the top line, there’s like, we can go on the top line or the deep stuff. So on the top layer, is that you’re gonna have to tell yourself a different story about men. Like there are good men in the world. There’s good, honest, loyal men in the world. And I am bringing them in. All my turnarounds are, affirmations.
Because all the negative stuff you’ve been telling yourself is actually a, negative affirmation. You’ve now created a way of being by affirming this belief. So now we have to unprogram and reprogram in a new way by telling yourself a new, affirmation, to imprint a new belief. The new, affirmation, is “there are good men in the world.” “There are good, honest, loyal men in the world and I am bringing them to me.” Are you with me so far?
My, belief system, all men are liars and cheaters was downloaded to me from my mom. She hated men after my father walked out on her. Not only did she tell me that all men lie and cheat, but she added all they want to do is get in your pants. Once they do, they’re gonna leave you. And so I really had a thing for men, I wanted to stick it to them. I have other clients that were afraid of men, but I wanted to go out and punish men. I wanted to punish them so they couldn’t do it to me. I didn’t get cheated on. I like hurt everybody.
So I had to do a lot of cleaning up my, stinkin thinking. But the most amazing part of my, stinkin thinking, was that I built a, belief system, on my mother’s pain, not mine. He did that to her not to me.
Our, belief systems, follow us everywhere. We take our, beliefs, into work, into business, into friendships, into our relationships, everywhere. As deep seated core program, beliefs and stories, and it affects every area of our life. It’s so powerful, we don’t even know.
I’m gonna interject, I got to stick up for my men. All the men that I work with had really controlling, dominating, emotionally abusive mothers. And so they actually don’t do any of the stuff we’re talking about. They’re actually afraid of women. They are people pleasers. Which means they’re totally dishonest because they’re terrified of being punished.
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Myrna: There’s always an exception to the rule. I do know a lot of very nice men that are very family oriented and love their families and love their wives. And wouldn’t wouldn’t even think to cheat. I think that happens when they fall in love and they have a family. I didn’t know what happens when they’re sowing your wild oats.
So let’s talk about psychology for a minute. Before we get onto your, Jaime B. Hass method. You’re saying that we are hardwired for, negative thinking, and there’s four ways that we’re hardwired to have, stinkin thinking. We become programmed by our childhood experiences and maybe early adult experiences that have left us wounded. So where does the, negative thinking, come from?
Jaime: As a child what our parents say is very powerful. And the more they say it, the more it is programmed into us, the more we start telling the story, the more than the, negativity, comes in.
Myrna: I don’t have any psychological understanding of why we are more prone to latch onto and stay focused on the, negativity. And it’s really fascinating, right? Because there could be all this good, but it’s like the minute there’s something bad happens, that’s all we think about.
Jaime: We actually are hardwired for, negative thinking. That is why I created the, Jaime B Hass method, that has helped women heal their wounds and achieve lasting love.
So not just women, though. I want to be clear, men and women. So, what I’ve come to find is that, negative thinking, is the root of the problem. It’s a lack of self love and a disconnection from self and trying to get our well being from the outside. So the first part of the journey is learning how to love yourself. Right because once we love ourselves, truly love ourselves, we can allow in more negative feelings like loneliness.
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Until we practice, self love, we’re fractured and so all the relationships we bring in are going to be fractured. I call it, emotionally unavailable. We’re, emotionally unavailable, because we’re not even there for ourselves, we don’t love ourselves. So, you know, that is actually the beginning. of the journey. I don’t tell you that right away because people be like, I don’t want to get into coaching where I have to love myself like what is that about? I just want to fix the problem and move on.
Myrna: I love that yeah, if you can’t love yourself. You can’t be in a love relationship because you can’t give away what you don’t have. It’s very profound.
Jaime: Yes, that’s correct. And so what I’ve also found is that there’s not one thing that fixes the problem. It’s actually a concoction of a multitude of things when done all together, to create the secret sauce. And so, you know, in the getting to the self love and starting to create a connection with the universe and yourself and then reprogramming and changing your thinking and your behaviors.
The more that magnet within you shifts and changes the more what you start to bring in shifts and changes and all of your relationships become more loving. The people and situations become more aligned with who you are inside. And then you’re bringing in that person that perfectly aligns with you who you are now. But we have to evolve and change first so that we can change in shape shift and change inside to match up and align with that which we are actually calling in and desiring.
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That’s the first layer. I have found that there are 10 actions to help us get to, self love, and connection. What I do in the, Jaime method, is that we do the patterns with your parents. I go back to mom and dad, specifically three patterns for parent each parent, we do a letter of healing. It’s really the letter of acceptance and healing. So that when we do that, remember in the beginning I said you if you’re in a state of woundedness you will bring in light so we heal the wound. We are no longer attracted to or attracting that.
So we do that last person we do is yourself and then we begin to manifest and it’s just but we have to heal clear reprogram and change everything and love ourselves and get a connection with the universe so that we can really be this vessel, this huge magnet of magic, so to speak of love and healing. And then we start aligning with and bringing him you’re not chasing going after figuring it out.
People in situations start coming to you a lot of attraction you know like thoughts, you know, when you are in a negative space, then you’re attracting, negativity, to you because that is basically what’s what’s the alignment you know, like attracts like.
So when when we’re in that place, we actually surround ourselves with people who are also in negative thinking, who are also talking that way who are reaffirming that even if we’re not talking about it, they’re talking about it right. So we carry it from our childhood into the present day. So it’s like and then we’re watching like the news and finding the negative things are we’re watching certain things, or reading a lot of things or being around people and going into situations that where it’s all this pervasive negative talk.
Conclusion
Myrna: What inspired the topic and how our listeners can get in contact with you.
Jaime: Okay, great. Thank you. So I’m working on a book right now. It’s actually on, self love. Actually, because my method will come later. The reason being is that anyone can do this. And if you do it for 30 days, it changes your life immediately. So that I wanted to get the fastest way of healing out to everybody and anybody that you get it now. my website is www.jaimebhaas.com My Instagram is Jaime B Haas and my Facebook is Jaime B Haas and also my YouTube is Jaime B Haas.
You can find the, self love, actions on my web site.
What is the, foundation of happiness? We live in a culture where, happiness, is largely based on external forces. Like, what did we get and what did we achieve? And that’s basically your, foundation of happiness. And when our life conditions don’t match your expectations, we experience pain and fear. We suffer and become unhappy.
But imagine what it would feel like if you could create a constant sense of, inner peace, and freedom and live each day in a beautiful state. Hi, I’m Coach Myrna young and welcome to, Five minute Fridays with Coach Myrna. I want to ask you what’s preventing you from, happiness, and living in a state of, peace and joy?
I remember watching the, happiness movie, once. And this was a documentary that was recorded in India, where people who are living on maybe $100 a year living in huts with just covering over their head, most of them sleeping on rocks on the floor. And they were, happy. And this is why this was so unusual in the documentary.
It looked at the, foundation of happiness, what is happiness, and what causes, happiness. The end result of what that movie was trying to show was that it doesn’t matter how poor you are, it doesn’t matter if you don’t have a lot of money. What matters most to the people and the, foundation of happiness, is family, and love.
Happiness, is making sure your children are safe and things like that. Research shows that 85% of our, happiness, comes from our, relationships. It’s not just, relationships, with people, it’s, relationship, with God as well. If you don’t believe in God, then your, relationship, with the planet and the universe becomes important, but that is basically how we find, true happiness.
The, foundation of happiness, is living a life of peace and joy. Now, there’s a time when I believed that your spouse, or your children or your boss, or somebody was responsible for our, happiness, but nobody can be responsible for your, happiness. I remember when Jennifer Gardner told the world that Ben Aflec was not responsible for her, happiness. He was not the foundation of her happiness. of course they broke up because he was cheating on her with the nanny but even though she was hurt her, happiness, did not come from external sources and events.
Definition of happiness
Nobody can be responsible for our, happiness. You think that you’re going to be happy when you get a husband or when you get that new car or that new job. But once you get, what you find is when you get these things, you’re not really happy, because, happiness, only comes from internal sources, and I personally found that the, definition of happiness, is correct.
It’s true.
The, definition of happiness, is working towards a goal or purpose.
And that’s where my, happiness, comes from. My ,happiness, comes from me trying to excel in what I do. I am a host on a radio program, podcast, I’m a lifecoach. Things that I am working towards, in order to better myself. I learn something new every day because, I practice CANI which is constant and never ending improvement. And when I find that I’m growing then I’m happy.
Good, personal relationships, enhances my life, when you’re fighting with your husband you’re not thinking of what you don’t have in your life. When you’re in the lack mode, you really can’t access your, inner peace, and joy that actually brings you, happiness. So I want you to discover what’s holding you back from, happiness.
What’s holding you back from being happy. I would like to encourage you to tap in to, inner peace, with, meditation, and, mindfulness, and start living in the, present moment, because, happiness, can only be found in the present moment. That is the, foundation of happiness, being in the present moment. Not in the past, not in the future.
Take the time to sit with your feelings of unhappiness, or pain, or regret. And maybe you can even try to find a lesson in it. Because there’s a test in every testimony. So try to find what the universe or God was trying to teach you with that circumstances that you said, made you unhappy. And then once you sit with it, and feel the pain and not trying to, self medicate, with drugs or food or sex or whatever you do to try to feel better.
You just sit with the painful feelings. When you sit with it, then you you will find that you can stop the pain and allow life to unfold in the beautiful way that it was meant to be. One of the things I do to stop the minor irritations in my personal life and that are trying to take my joy and peace away is to breathe deeply.
People will always irritate you. My little irritation comes when I call my husband, and he doesn’t pick up the phone, and I’m wondering why he can’t hear the phone, or my kids leave the house and not tell me where they’re going and I think it’s disrespectful. So I’ve learned to do something that’s called R&R which is, relax and release. And what this is, I breathe in deeply and relax and then I breathe out through my mouth and release it out.
If you do this breathing method for a few minutes, then you will find that that irritation is no longer there. And the next time that person does that same thing, then you’re actually not going to get irritated because you caught it. Caught it and you relaxed and you released it.
Conclusion
So that is all for today’s five minutes with Coach Myrna. I hope that I shared a few things on, happiness foundation, and maybe you can start doing some of these things. In order for you to, be happy. Remember, happiness, is not from external sources. It is only from your internal peace or moving towards a goal or desire. What you moving towards it, you’re in alignment with the universe and you will be happy. So until next time, Namaste
Bob Doyle, from, the Secret, teaches that we need to do more than concentrate on our, vibration, and, vision boards, for, the law of attraction, to work. We must, rewire our brains. He teaches that the metaphysical aspects of, the law of attraction, or the “reality creation” process is what controls our experiences.
Bob Doyle is best known for his contribution to the film and book “The Secret” as a law of attraction expert and coach. He has been teaching these principles through programs, live events, podcasts, live streams, coaching, writing, and even virtual reality, since 1988. He is driven by his passion for creative self-expression and his work is heavily focused on helping people decide whom they want to be and how they want to express themselves.
Recently Bob’s attention has shifted from the metaphysical aspects of the, law of attraction, or reality creation process to a more grounded and biological look at what controls our experiences…our, brain.
The Law of Attraction and the Secret
Myrna: After 20 years, why to shift away from the, law of attraction, and, the Secret?
Bob: So, after, the Secret, especially, a lot of people got in the game, the law of attraction, experts were putting out their programs and a lot of them didn’t really have the research or experience. They were sort of regurgitating what they got from, the Secret, or had heard. And what happened was that people got very confused about this, law of attraction. Some of them who had not heard of it before, the Secret, got understandably excited about it.
They thought this is how I’m going to get everything I want in my life. I want to learn more about it. So, they go out in the world, and they start learning about it. And they’re learning all of these techniques and they’re learning about, vibration, and resistance and vibrational resonance, and all this stuff. They’re learning about, vision boards, and lists and, visualization, and the whole thing. It’s a lot that they’re trying to figure out and they’re trying all of these different techniques and they’re so focused on getting the, law of attraction, right, that they’re putting almost no focus on the most important thing, which is who do they need to be to attract those things.
When it is through who we’re being, that things happen in the world, our action is expressed the things we say, the thing how we make meaning in the world is all at all a factor of our, brains wiring. So, our experience of reality is all based on how our, brain, is processing this ocean of energy. So, if we’re not getting the results that we want in our life, it’s ultimately a factor of our, brains wiring. So, the reason I’m shifting from, law of attraction, to changing your, brains wiring, in terms of a focus for teaching and coaching and, transformation, is because there’s nothing to get confused about.
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Myrna: That’s awesome. I do believe that again. I’m one of the ones that went after, the Secret, trying to understand, the law of attraction, and the, vision boarding, and, vibration. But what you’re saying is that if you keep your thoughts clean, and your energy positive, the law of attraction, is not going to work for you unless you, rewire the brain.
Bob: No, it’s not so, this is the problem. We’re getting into this, law of attraction, it’s always working. It’s always working and the focus that we’re putting on it is confusing the issue. We don’t need to understand how gravity works for the glass to fall when we let go of it. We also don’t need to understand how, the law of attraction, works. What we need to do is focus on what action we need to take every day so that, the law of attraction, works automatically. Everything in your life, you’re attracting it, because you’re on this sort of default way of being. It’s an, autopilot.
You may not think of it that way. But because of your, brain’s wiring, you’re not consciously looking at how can you improve your wiring, you’re probably going on, autopilot. And all of those, autopilot, behaviors are getting results in the world, that result in your reality. So different results come from different action, different ways of being.
Myrna: right. Okay, so we’re talking about, rewiring the brain, but we’re talking also about energy and, vibration. I’m trying to understand it for the people that are believed that the energy and vibration is responsible for attracting before we get onto the rewiring.
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Bob: Let me make clear that I am not against any of that, I stood for these principles for 20 years and I still believe them the vibration, the energy, the resonant. That’s all there. The problem and it the magic, if you will, the invisible stuff, but all of those results in the universe presenting you with something. Now you have to act, what you’ve been presented, what are you going to do with it and what action can you take that will affect your, vibration, and send out the stuff all the cool, Law of Attraction, stuff. But if we focus so much on the magic issue or the invisible issue or energy, we’re not rewiring our, brain.
Myrna: Alright, so that’s a good a good segue into how does rewiring the, brain, help us with manifesting in the, law of attraction?
Bob: So, right now we’re manifesting totally on, autopilot. For the most part, most people are manifesting is because of their, autopilot wiring, and their behaviors. So, if we want to manifest something different, then we have to focus on changing the wiring within us that will create the action that will get those results. Okay. So, rewiring, is fundamental. The whole premises of this whole conversation is that permanent, transformation. Transformation, does not happen unless the brain is rewired.
If we’re not consciously reinforcing all of that, and we’re allowing our old triggers to take us back into our old patterns, then we were not going to grow new neural pathways. They’re going to be in a permanent place that’s going to create new, autopilot behavior.
Myrna: So, I know what you’re saying. That’s why they’re saying that motivation is so good because you’re excited for a second, and there’s no deep, transformation. Right, exactly. So, I know that you know, in our conversation, that you have a quiz that people can do to get this process started of, rewiring the brain, so you want to talk about it now.
Bob: Yeah, so the very first question is does my behavior is dictated by my wiring? I want to rewire how do I begin, right, like that makes sense. So, to really effectively, rewire the brain, you need to know where your current wiring is, so that you can recognize it when it’s at play. And then you can consciously override it. That is the process that’s required here. We’re going to need to consistently override the old wiring, old thought process.
We’re going to need to physically take different actions, we’re going to have to consciously make new meaning, but for us to be able to do that we have to be able to see that we’re on, autopilot, in the first place. So that’s where I created this quiz. And it’s called the, transformation personality type quiz. So, it’s not your typical, personality type, that’s out there in the corporate world. This is something I totally created just for myself based on my own experience. 20 years of dealing with people who are trying to transform that they fall into one of these or more one or more of these four types, personality types, when it comes to, personal transformation.
So, there’s nothing wrong with any of these types. And just because you are one of these types, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to sabotage or slow your efforts. However, if you are a person who has been working on this for a while, and it seems like it should be here by now, then this is this is something you can do to try to figure out what behaviors might I have in going that are stopping me?
So, the quiz identifies the, personality type. It explains the behaviors that type has that can cause self-sabotage, and then offers very specific things you can do instead. So, I invite anybody reading this, it only takes 60 seconds to take the quiz and it’s free. They can go to www.TPTquiz.com. Just as multiple choice they’ll know their type. They’ll have a video they can watch. They there’s a PDF they’ll get that explains more about their type and then what they can do about it.
But we can also talk about briefly, you know the four types here so that they if they do take the quiz, then they can you know, they can understand that we’re talking about them.
Myrna: Okay, briefly, what are what are the four types?
Bob: So, let’s assume that they went in took the quiz and now they’re back. Now the number one type most popular is the, seeker type.
The Seeker Brain
The, seeker type, is a person who is very committed to their, personal transformation. They really want the best in their life. And so, to do that, they try everything that comes along. There’s nothing wrong with having that kind of wild enthusiasm and curiosity. However, if you’re trying to implement something, a process, a new way of thinking, a structured way of thinking that is going to create wiring in your, brain, you got to stay consistent.
You can’t just keep flip flopping from approach to approach you’re giving your brain no time to grow anything. Remember it’s a biological process that starts with thought and intention and consent continues with consistency.
Number two – the skeptic, obviously wants the best in their life, but maybe they’ve been burned a few times with this when things didn’t show up the way they thought and they made that mean that oh nothing really works. So, the skeptic, while committed to, transformation, generally looks at an opportunity for change. And the question they have internally is, why won’t this work for me?
And when you ask yourself or the universe a question like that, you’re going to get those answers. If you ask the different questions, you’ll get different answers. So, the same skeptical person who is a, skeptic, they don’t want to be duped. They want to be intellectual and logical about this can ask a different question, get different results, and then actually allow themselves to take action. And it’s just the opposite of the question they automatically ask.
So instead of saying, why won’t this work for me, they asked How could this work for me? And leave us all their intellect in logic and see how I could work? Because if they keep asking themselves the wrong question, they’ll never take action. They’ll get to be right about how it will work because they’ll never get a result. And the law and the logical the skeptical, brain, likes to be right they don’t want to look stupid.
The next personality type is – the wizard. The Law of Attraction, community feels, the skeptic, is all logic and the, wizard, is all invisible trust and magic. Rituals, vision boards, the list, visualization, they’re just conjuring mentality like I’m using the, law of attraction, to change the energy of the universe so that they will do my bidding, rather than changing themselves. This is where the, alchemy, needs to begin. And then the universe will respond to you, you have to be a cause.
So, the wizard, brain, and all of their rituals helps it’s what you were talking about. There is the energy, there is the, vibration. All this stuff is happening. It’s sending stuff out there, if you will, but it also needs to be affecting who you are being in the world. You cannot just sit cross legged and be your, wizard, in your cave and not show the world how you are now this new person.
So, the wizardry, brain, needs to be around visioning yourself as this ultimate, wizard. you that’s what you’re conjuring, not the stuff, not the money, you’re conjuring the best version of who will take the action to get those things.
The Heartbreaker Brain
The last one is the – heartbreaker, brain. The, heartbreaker, is the, people pleaser. And the, people pleaser, is someone who really wants to transform and I know that this happens for a lot of people. They stop their progress when the people around them start to get uncomfortable. Start to comment, what are you doing, who do you think you are? Or in some other way, add a negative layer of emotion to your journey.
And so, for whatever your reasons you stop, whether it’s to make them comfortable, yourself comfortable or whatever, you stop your journey. Now, a lot of times it is so that mom will be uncomfortable. You won’t make that person mad. You’re trying to keep everybody comfortable.
Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Neuroplasticity of the brain
Myrna: All right. How does, neuroplasticity, fit in into, rewiring the brain? Can you make the connection for us?
Bob: Well, neuroplasticity, is the brain’s ability to rewire. So, in essence, it’s the same thing. So, neuroplasticity, there’s a there’s neurogenesis or the ability to grow new brain cells and all those other things, and then, neuroplasticity, which is the ability for it to change. And that’s really all we’re focused on. There’s a lot of people out there in the community, the personal development communities, we’re talking about the, brain, now who might have been talking to, law of attraction, before I’m not the only one.
And a lot of these people will go very deep into the parts of the, brain, and how this is all happening. Personally, I’m intentionally not doing that because I’m afraid that what’s going to happen is people are going to get focused on that again, just like they were all, the law of attraction, stuff. We weren’t meant to have to understand all of us.
We weren’t born into this human experience with all this amazing creative potential that we have needing to know all the ins and outs of the biology and how it works. We don’t need to know that. All we need to know is that this right here is a reality creation machine. And all we need to do is feed it the vision that we want for ourselves and then move and act and be in alignment with the person who would have that vision and it will all just take care of itself.
But we are adults and just waking up to this we have to understand we have a lifetime wiring a lifetime and it doesn’t seem like wiring. It just seems like our truth. And so, anything radically outside of our truth, we’re going to have conflict with it. It doesn’t fit into our normal paradigm. But we can look past that and see that in the world.
There are people who have the success and the things that we want. It is possible but they are being something different. You don’t have to be them. But there is certain action that they’re taking, certain ways of being that they are that have brought them those results. It’s not magic. It’s the result of logical action that you’re taking.
Rewiring the brain on autopilot
Myrna: You said something earlier that I want to connect the dots, because you’re talking about, rewiring the brain, but that can also be the same thing as, reprogramming. And we’re all programmed, by the time we’re seven years old, in order to be erase the tape, then we have to, rewire the brain. So, once they take the quiz and then become conscious of their programming. Because 95% of people are not conscious of their programs.
The, Law of Attraction, is working all the time, consciously or unconsciously. What are you thinking? What do you say? I don’t want this. That’s what’s going to show up. What do you say I want this, maybe sometimes it shows up. Whatever is happening to us is that we’re recreating it. So, talk a little bit about, autopilot.
Bob: Well, autopilot, if we do not wake up to our wiring to see that we are in fact program. We can probably see some program behavior, we do rituals every day and so on, but how we make meaning out of our lives and how that causes us to take action or not take action. If we don’t wake up to that then we are by default on, autopilot, which means we’re literally robots just reacting to stimuli based on the wiring that we’ve the programming that we’ve been given that we have mostly, subconsciously, just led in without too much critical thinking or evaluating.
So now everything we’re doing is on, autopilot, for the most part, even though sometimes it feels like we’re making a conscious decision. What is driving that decision? It’s probably some, unconscious wiring, that hasn’t been properly evaluated, especially if it is in some way limiting you from moving forward toward your dreams. So, we’re all running on some sort of, autopilot, until we realize that we are and start being conscious about it.
So, then we get conscious about it for a while, long enough for new neural pathways to form and now we have a new, autopilot, and that, autopilot, is manifesting on a different level. It’s creating different results because we visualize what we need to do. We take that action, we make different meaning, we don’t buy into old limiting stories. So much of a part of this is giving up all of our old stories.
Beliefs and the Brain
Myrna; The old stories, you’re talking about beliefs?
Bob: Beliefs, like my dad did this, or I’ve lived here and I didn’t have this and bla bla bla all the reasons, all the sad stories. And the thing is this, yeah, if you keep hanging on to those, beliefs, you will always be a prisoner of them. You have to let them go and tell yourself a new story. Because most of what you’re telling yourself in this story that is affecting you and causing you to not take action, is a lie.
Anyway, its interpretation is something you made up based on some action that did occur. How you move forward in your life is something that you made up based on your wiring. So, we want to create wiring in the, brain, that moves you in the action that you need to take to get what you want.
Myrna: How can readers learn more about your program and what you offer. How you help people, rewire their brain?
Bob: Well, the quiz is a good front door to everything, because then we all know where we stand. I know how to help you, and you could use some assistance, so that is a good way to get it. After you take the quiz, you’ll learn about our boundless living challenge, which is where I do the work with people. It’s an online community. They have 45 days of new content every day that’s real short and concise. They know exactly what to do every day.
They have tools to deal with the emotional spikes that come with all of this rewiring process. They have coaching on a regular basis. All the things I know after 20 years of coaching people actually helps people make a change, isn’t it? If they just want to know more general stuff about me there’s www.meetBobdoyle.com that just my website, you can get to the quiz from there as well. And then you can also see how I coach and train and some of the other stuff that I’m doing.
