One of the ways to find your, purpose and destiny, is to to look inside at your natural ability. You were created with a, purpose. Find your, purpose and destiny, by looking at what you have in your hand. There is something you can do better than anyone else on the planet. Seek and you will find it.
This week on #Mindset Transformation radio with coach Myrna, we give insights on 6 Ways to Find Your, Purpose and Destiny. Coach Dan Willms and I interview Keshia Marie Morris Desir, Political Activist, as she shares how she found her, purpose and destiny.
Introduction to Finding Your Purpose and Destiny
Purpose, If you don't have one, you will will never feel that spiritual fulfillment. The bible teaches that people without a, vision, shall, perish.
I feel that having, vision, lines up with your, purpose, because God places the desires into your heart of what you were born to do.
That is the same statement that God made to Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. He told them that if they ate from the tree of knowledge, then they will surely die. And they did!
Not a physical death; but a spiritual death. In a similar way the bible teaches that people without a, vision, shall perish, again not a physical death, but in spirit
.
You see, having a, purpose, inspires you to live and not die!
“Purpose, inspires you. When you are inspired by some great, purpose, some extraordinary project; all your thoughts break their bonds, your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new and wonderful world!” Dr. Wayne Dyer
That is what happened to my daughter Keshia Marie Morris. She became inspired after reading Nelson Mandela's book “A Long Walk to Freedom”
My partner coach Dan Willms and I interviewed Keshia on our show “You Asked for it”
Here is a poem Keshia wrote and I published in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” in my chapter on, Purpose and Destiny.
Purpose, is continually evolving
When you emit God from your, purpose,
You close doors that God clearly opened
Know that God is behind your, purpose and destiny.
Take ownership of your, purpose and destiny, for it is not yours, but the Lords.
Purpose, requires you to be diligent
Rebuke laziness in the name of God
Have tunnel vision in regards to your, purpose
Focus on your, purpose and destiny.
Walk in your, purpose
Stand in your, purpose
Don’t forget your, purpose
Neglect those things that hinder your purpose and destiny
Don’t get caught up in daily living and,
Forget what God has purposed
You will never be perfect, only the God,
Who called you to your purpose is perfect!
Purpose, makes you leave what is comfortable
Purpose will help you endure what is uncomfortable
Just because you miss a short-term goal,
It does not take you away from your purpose
The end of your purpose is always bigger than you
Purpose, will always require some suffering!
Your, purpose and destiny, may have many fingers or parts
Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing,
Who will try to pull you away from your purpose
When you are weak, call on the Lord
Who is with you at ALL Times!
Through him all things are possible!!!
~Keshia Marie Morris
6 Ways to Find Your Purpose
1. To, find your purpose, look inside at your natural ability. You were created with a purpose. There is something you can do better than anyone else on the planet. Seek and you will find it.
2. Find your purpose, by paying attention to the things you like doing. The thing you would do for free. Ask yourself what would I do today if money was not a problem?
3. Find your passion. Do you want to help starving children in Africa? Do you want to stop domestic violence? Do you want to take big money out of politics? What injustice makes you mad? Don’t just talk about it, do something about it.
4. Keep learning and growing. Grow consciously. Read books. Attend seminars, hire a coach or a mentor.
5. Pray. Keep an open connection to God, so you are able to hear him through the Holy Spirit. Ask him what he wants you to do, and he will answer.
6. Reflection. Do you know what you are good at? Are you aware of your strengths? Find a quiet place every day and meditate. It is the only way to connect to source and find out who you truly are.
Understanding Purpose and Destiny
In the principles of, purpose and destiny, bear in mind that, destiny, demands fulfillment, and, purpose, expression. Both are the two-witness principle, as life is not about, purpose, alone. Both are essential for the fulfillment of what you were created for. For, purpose, without, destiny, is like having no real life at all. It's like being on earth illegally. Therefore, we must define life from a sense of, destiny, by God's purpose and design for our life, fulfillment, and the completion of God's eternal purpose. We are to consider chiefly that God has a, purpose, in each of us to be fulfilled, for we are purposed and perfected with a, purpose, and destined and designed with, destiny.
We should take into consideration that our, destiny, comes from the true meaning of what the Father has eternally purposed us for? According to Ephesians 1:18, do we realize that our purpose is centered and ordained in the SON? Or are we so self-driven with our own ambition to fulfill our own expectation and desires?
To contact me to be a guest on this show or for sponsorship opportunities, please send me an email at [email protected] or on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com
There is more to becoming a deliberate creator, than just letting the, universal laws, of attraction bring to you the desires of your heart. We all know it does not work like that. Some of you have been asking the, Universe, and praying to God for years, and you are still waiting to manifest your desires into your experience.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7
This is a big topic. There is a lot written on, the Laws of Attraction. In my book “Out of the Snares” I embrace these, universal laws, fully. I also expected and allowed what I was attracting to show up. I lived consciously believing that ..
“there are no coincidences in life, that everything moment is as it should be.” ~~Deepak Chopra
I tell the story in my book “Out of the Snares” of me coming to the USA under the USA Free trade agreement, which allows Canadians and Mexicans to open up branch offices of current businesses in the USA; but when I got to the United States, I decided I wanted the benefits of being an American. I told myself “It would be nice if I found a husband.” As soon as I concentrated on that possibility the, Universal laws, started offering up to me suitors for me to choose from!
Become a deliberate creator using the universal laws
There is more to becoming a deliberate creator, than just asking and receiving for everything you want. We all know it does not work like that. Some of you have been asking the, Universe, and praying to God for years, and you are still waiting to manifest your desires into your experience.
Here are 5 ways to help with being a deliberate creator and invoking the Universal laws.
1. Offer no resistance: You have to offer no resistance to the, universal laws, you are letting go and letting God. In the above example. If and when the thought, came to me to find a husband and I had a bad experience with a prior husband and I told myself that most men are no good, then essentially what I am doing is saying on one hand I would like a husband and on the other hand, I don't want a man because they are nothing but trouble. That sends mixed messages to the, universal laws, of attraction.
2. You have to allow it to come in.
Look at your list of things you want to attract in your life as people outside the walls of one of the ancient cities. This is, the secret. They can't come in unless someone opens the gates of the city. In a similar way, you have to quiet your mind and stop confusing the, Universe, with all the stuff in your head. Find time every day to meditate and allow the, Universe, and its, universal laws, to work for you.
3. You have to believe in the 7 universal laws
Faith, is the evidence of things unseen. The bible teaches that if you have the, faith, of a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain get up and go into the sea. Faith is one way to let the, universal laws, work in your life. Logically and in the physical world that is not possible but Jesus was teaching us that “If you believe you can do anything.” That is truth. I have seen amputees climb to the top of Mount Everest, I have seen people swim across lakes, I have seen human beings defy incredible odds to survive and achieve. It all starts in the mind, if you think you can.
4. You have to be conscious of your emotions.
Your emotions are a powerful indicator of if you are moving towards or away from your desires. If you feel elated and happy, you are moving in the direction of your desires; if you feel dread and nervousness then that is your heart telling you that it knows something you don't. Learn to pay attention. The trick is to not spend time thinking about the things that make you feel bad because you will attract more of them.
5. Become a deliberate creator or Sorcerer.
Sorcerer means from the source. Becoming a Sorcerer means that you are letting source energy and the, universal laws, work for you. It means that you meditate on what you want, pray and ask God to help you get it and then you move out of the way and let him do his work. The focus here is on the word “meditate”. You have to get still and hear God. When you do, you will get inspiration and instruction on how to move that mountain out of the way. You will get instructions on how to turn your business around, how to motivate your children, new book ideas etc.
In my book “Out of the Snares” I share with you, my readers, the principles of the Bible and the Universal Laws or Truths that I stood on to win. Order your copy today.http://myhelps.us/book-order/
Renee Garcia teaches what is, reality transurfing, and how we can use it to improve our frequency, our thoughts and alternate reality.
Listen to the full interview here:
Renée is a lifelong entrepreneur, a Certified Reality Transurfing instructor, and an Alternatives Space adventurer – endorsed by Vadim Zeland the author and creator of, Reality Transurfing.
Having ventured deeply into the metaphysical world of Reality Creation she has transformed personal failure into success, poverty into abundance, sickness into healing, and a bleak worldview into one brimming with joy and magic. Renée has employed, Reality Transurfing, to discover fulfillment, true purpose in life and connect with the highest version of herself.
With a self-built practical methodology and magical wand in hand, she is now empowering others around the world to do so the same.
What was your journey into the self development and reality transurfing space?
Renee – I don't want to say I had an unfortunate childhood or an unfortunate background because I later used my background to help other people. I now view all the parts of my life that I was ashamed of or I didn't like or I felt disadvantaged, as data to help my, transurfing, clients understand reality jumping.
All of that stuff that happened in my childhood really helped me in gaining success for myself. I had achieved a good deal of success for myself given that I wasn't college educated. I didn’t even graduate from high school.
I managed to start my own business and gained success. I had this outward-facing image that a lot of people perceived as successful; but I was very damaged inside. reality transurfing, helped me to connect with and the void of these things and sort of broke me in what I call my pre-transurfing reality.
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Reality Transurfing allow you to choose your reality
Reality transurfing, started for me when I was about 35 years old. I woke up one morning and realized that I was utterly miserable. So I decided to take some pretty bold steps. I disconnected from life as I knew it in the big city. I gave up my business, moved out to the country and just went inward for about a year searching for answers.
It was at this time that I found, reality transurfing. This was about six years ago. I was not from a world of, self-development, or, self-help. I had gone to conventional therapy for a number of years just to get over some of my childhood trauma and, poverty mentality.
A lot from my mindset was holding me back; but when I found, reality transurfing, it was completely new knowledge, completely new information to me. I immediately saw what I had done to get myself into that place where life broke me.
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Reality transurfing, is very big in Russia where the knowledge originated about 15 years ago. I saw massive transformationin my mindset, my worldview, my outlook on life, my success, everything.
I decided right then that I was going to help others change their mindset with, reality transurfing.
It was at this time that I found, reality transurfing. This was about six years ago. I was not from a world of, self-development, or, self-help. I had gone to conventional therapy for a number of years just to get over some of my childhood trauma and, poverty mentality.
A lot from my mindset was holding me back; but when I found, reality transurfing, it was completely new knowledge, completely new information to me. I immediately saw what I had done to get myself into that place where life broke me.
Renee – That's all sort of developing now and it's really fascinating the types of people that come into the, reality transurfing, community. There are a number of people I certified as, transurfing instructors. There are psychologists in Mexico using, reality transurfing, as a tool.
Lots of therapists and lots of psychologists, people that are involved in the more metaphysical side of of self-development are using, reality transurfing. It's kind of like quantum physics meets therapy so it's appealing.
We like to say that it's, the law of attraction, for smart people. It's a much more evolved version of the, law of attraction, with all the blank spots filled in. We obviously know that there's something to law of attraction; but why does, law of attraction, work? Reality transurfing, fills in all those why's of why law of attraction works.
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Renee – Reality transurfing, essentially means surfing multiple realities. What I'm talking about is, quantum jumping. So what does, quantum jumping, mean? The best way for me to describe it and make it relatable and understandable for everyone is to use myself as an example.
I told you that I had an unfortunate childhood. There was trauma there, I didn't graduate from high school, I didn't go to college. That is a version of reality that is available to me.
But I'm sitting here talking to you on a podcast right where I'm an expert on, reality transurfing, I'm an expert on a self-development book that was written in Russia and kind of exotic, I'm leading a movement of people and I'm considered a thought leader. I'm on the cutting edge of a self-development technology and people want me to come on their podcasts and people want me to give seminars and people want to fly me around and have me speak on stage.
So this is an alternate version of reality that I’ve accessed using the concepts in the, reality transurfing, book. We use this analogy to explain the, transurfing, modality of turning a dial on a television or a radio, like changing the channel.
Our power as creators to be able to choose which channel we turn to.
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Myrna – This morning I was listening to Dr Joe Dispenza on a podcast and he was talking about something very similar to this. He said to imagine the future you want and shift your reality to believe you already have it.
If something is bugging you right now or you're angry or maybe you're looking at past trauma, one way to change the channel is to think about what you're dreaming of in the future.
Renee -Yes we can play victim that channel doesn't bring happiness, that channel brings victimhood.
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There are 11 core concepts of, transurfing. If you were to adopt just one concept from the, reality transurfing, modality it will help you to see reality in a different way.
Myrna – Awesome let's talk about the core concepts or core modalities of, reality transurfing.
Renee – I'll describe the first five. There's 11 core concepts and if you split them right down the middle, the first five concepts represent a donut hole. This hole signifies you're not living your best life. You're irritated, you don't like the state of affairs in the world, you don’t like USA politics etc. You are depressed, maybe have anxiety and don't feel your life has meaning.
The first five concepts of, reality transurfing, are going to help you get up out of that hole. The next five, transurfing, concepts are going to help you build a foundation and a new structure.
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Transurfing Steps
The first step in, transurfing, is to help you develop your connection with this alternative reality and realize that you can create from it.
The second step is to get off entities that have adhered to you that are draining you energetically or spiritually. The biggest one right now is politics and the media that has rendered people almost comatose.
That's where fear lives. Pendulums use fear as their number one hook.
Step three is defeating pendulums or learning how to manage your pendulums.
When you do that and you are successful. You've got a good connection with the alternative space, you understand what pendulums create your reality for you and you take back your energy from those pendulums.
The fourth step is what we refer to as the wave of success.
The wave of success is a phenomenon in the, transurfing, modality where you accumulate positive thoughts, actions, and frequency from your environment to improve your thoughts about yourself.
Life Tracks and Quantum Jumping
Life tracks are like different channels that you can turn to in the, quantum jumping, space. The idea is that you use the law of physics with energy and your perception of reality to essentially move you to some of these higher life tracks or higher channels. More of what you want exists in abundance in this alternative reality.
The fifth step is the opposite of the wave of success. Our intention is to climb higher on the life tracks or tune the dial to a higher channel. We call this induced transition. Induced transition is when you buy into negative information or negative news. This is when you buy into people's negative thoughts or views of you or what you're doing.
This is you tuning to a lower channel, so the induced transition is sort of the concept that keeps a, transurfer, in check. You become aware of energy and how it affects your mood health.
Myrna – Just this morning I was listening to Dr Joe Dispenza's on a podcast and he was talking about using the wave of energy from your Heart and taking it up to your brain so you are living in a higher frequency.
Then you will attract the things you want. Exactly the same thing you're talking about here.
How can Transurfing help us create our own reality?
Renee – People have heard about the, quantum field, but nobody understood it. So now we are filling in the blanks. People are not going to irritate you, you are going to get angry. But you can clean your layer of reality.
If you've got negative energy you can't create, you have to be in that positive frame of mind to create. Joe dispenza was talking about that energy wave going from the heart to the mind. We call this heart and mind coordination and this is a big part of, reality transurfing.
It's the heart saying yes to something and then it's the mind agreeing. This is what Vadim Zealand, reality transurfing, author did to create this book.
What is quantum jumping exactly
Renee – Quantum jumping, is pretty much switching the channels. We use all sorts of analogies, like a river analogy. Quantum jumping, you can get caught into different streams and navigate to different places. We say quantum jumping, or changing the channel.
There's a four-step process to, quantum jumping.
Acknowledge and this is where your connection with the alternative space will come in. You have to acknowledge that this version of reality does in fact exist.
You have to tune your thoughts. Just as there are infinite versions of reality, there are also infinite versions of self. You must envision what the optimal version of yourself looks like. There's a version of myself that feels depressed and traumatized by childhood. Maybe I'm addicted to drugs. But I choose to focus on the optimal version of myself as a thought leader and an expert on, reality transurfing.
Take action in that direction, so you're thinking like the optimal version of you. Practice until you are perfect.
The final step is to make sure that your frequency matches the frequency of that higher version of you. Remove things that take away or are detrimental to your frequency like alcohol, drugs, fast food, and media. Things that can improve your frequency are exercise and meditation.
Myrna – I love Abraham Hicks teachings on vibration and frequencies. I didn't know anything about, transurfing, and, quantum jumping, but I do know about frequency and the law of attraction.
Conclusion
Tell our listeners and readers how they can connect with you.
We have a thriving community. We have knowledge for everyone so if you don't have even the money to buy the book, you can watch the YouTube channel transurfing. You can also connect on our Facebook group It is called the International Transurfing Institute.
www.transsurfing.us is the website if you would like to find out information on any aspect of, reality transurfing. What it is, how to do it.
We have a course on teachable called reality transurfing 2.0. It is the only certified course by the author for the english language.
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This is the how the, law of attraction, works. This is, The secret, your, thoughts become things, so you want to think good thoughts because you want the, Law of attraction, to bring you good things!
Good or bad, you manifest what you think about most of the time.
Listen to full interview here:
Thoughts become things, you are literally what you think about and your character is the complete sum of all your, thoughts. What you are thinking now, and what you think tomorrow and next month, is eventually what you will become.
This principle of the, law of attraction, has been around since the bible; but James Allen made this principle famous in his book “As a Man Thinketh“
If you want success, love, happiness, contentment, wealth, then you must think, good thoughts, because, thoughts become things.
Here are some, Good Thoughts, to engage the, Law of Attraction: The Secret
As a man thinks, so is he. As he continues to think, so he remains.
He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a loftily ideal in his heart, will one day realize it.
To desire is to obtain, to aspire is to achieve.
Your greatest achievement started out as a, thought seed, or a dream.
The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg.
Thoughts are the seedlings of things: your, thoughts become things
The, good thoughts, you hold in your head one day be the, good things, you hold in your hand, that's, the secret.
Here is How Missy Elliot, Thoughts became things.
I just read an interview with Missy Elliott. Here is how she used this principle to achieve her success. This is her story.
As a grade school student in Virginia, her classmates would have never believed that Melissa Arnette Elliot would one day win six Grammys, two AMAs, and become the first female rap artist to be inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame, but she did. In fact, Missy said that she saw herself as a legend long before anyone else could. Missy explained that in elementary school, every week, the teacher would ask the students what they wanted to be when they grew up, and Missy's answer was always the same:
“‘I'm going to be a superstar,' and the whole class would bust out laughing.”
“It's funny, she later said. I was telling somebody that everything I spoke, I've done. That's how powerful the tongue is…I used to sit in the house and act like I was having conversations with Janet and Michael and Madonna and whoever. I then would go and say my thank you's for award shows that I hadn't made it to yet. I had speeches, and I would be in the mirror thanking my mama.” I engaged the, law of attraction, with my imagination to turn my dreams or, thoughts into things.
“Trust me, this was all visioning and, good thoughts, because I was broke. My family would be like, ‘You better find something to do.' They told me to go in the Army. I'm like, ‘I'm too fat to go in the Army. Where I am running to?' Everything just seemed so impossible at the time because we didn't have the technology to be able to reach out and put your stuff online and for people to get a chance to see it. So you have to be at the right place at the right time.”
Missy said that she carried on this spirit of speaking her dreams into existence into adulthood.
“I told my mother, ‘I'm going to buy you a house, and I'm going to buy you an elevator in case your legs start hurting.' And my mom would laugh and be like, ‘All right, okay.' But when I got my first check, I didn't even buy myself a house first. I bought my mother a house. Put a Bible in the soil and built it from the ground up.” My, thoughts became actions
After battling Graves Disease, domestic abuse, and a brutal, male-dominated entertainment industry, there's nothing Missy can't overcome; and do you know why? Because she knows how to transform good, thoughts into things!
It is hard work holding on to the vision in between the trials, failures and struggles which are a part of life.
In all human affairs there are efforts, and there are results. The strength of the effort is the measure of the result or the quality of your thoughts.
The transformation of your good, thoughts into things, are the fruits of effort. They are thoughts completed, objectives accomplished, visions realized.
The vision that you hold in your mind, the ideal that you enthrone in your heart – this you will build your life by, this you will become!
Arifah what has been your experience as a mental health counselor on transforming good, thoughts into things?
Most humans are operating in one of 4 psychological levels:
Level 1 – victim stage
Level 2 – you create and design your world
Level 3: Servant to a higher calling. Doing something for the world. You are pushing humidity forward. The universe speaks through you. You are doing it through inspiration.
Level 4: Oneness with humanity, monk like state. You can heal with a touch.
Let’s look at the first two levels since the majority of us will never get to level 3 or 4.
Victim stage – 70% of the world operates at this level.
You believe that life is happening to you.
You blame everyone for where you are at.
You don't think you have any control over what happens to you. You believe what Forest Gump said “Life is a box of chocolates we never know what we are going to get. So you take whatever life dishes out and you tell yourself that such is life.
When you play the victim you are engaging the, law of attraction, to bring you more of the same. If you become the player in this game of life then you visualize with good thoughts and watch those good, thoughts become things.
Level 2: You believe that your, Thoughts become things, your reality: the secret
You become a co-creator of your world.
You use your imagination and the, law of attraction, to create in your mind the life you want.
You keep your mind positive,
You feed your subconscious mind and transform your, thoughts into things.
Abraham Hicks calls this the vortex. Your vortex is full of un-manifested potential just waiting to become your reality.
You utilize the, law of attraction, to bring the things you want to you. The secret is to feel good and use positive energy to transform your, thoughts into things,
How my good, thoughts became things.
As a little girl I dreamed of becoming a movie star. I heard that the first step in becoming a movie star was to become a model. (Not true), but that was my information back then in 1977. So the first thing I did when I immigrated to Toronto, Canada from Guyana was to be trained as a model.
I went to International Top models and graduated. My modeling agency started giving me work in the movies. I got roles as an extra in 3 movies one was the movie Cocktails with Tom Cruise. I got a radio gig reading the news, I got a regular part on a sitcom again as an extra. I had a manager and was thinking of moving to Los Angeles when I got pregnant with my son.
I was 20 years old at the time and something happened to me during pregnancy. I no longer wanted to get by on my looks. I wanted to be a business woman. So I packed up my modeling career and went to college. I later became an entrepreneur. I was happy with my choices.
That dream laid dormant until earlier this year. 40 years later. My daughter was working in LA for a month and I decided that when I went to visit her I should audition for some movie role just to get the life experience. I signed up with this casting company called NY casting. I was only in LA for 3 days so I couldn't make it happen; but I was able to get tickets to see Dr Phil. They sat me close to the front of the studio and I just visualized me as a the host of a TV talk show. You couldn't bring cameras into the studio, so I mentally recorded every detail of the studio. I imagined myself walking on to the stage and waving to the audience.
When I returned home, I figured my next move was to get some footage of me as a host to send around to casting directors. I sent an email to the producers of this radio show and asked them if I can do a live radio show in the studio in Atlanta. They responded that they had a TV show taping in Miami and they would like me to host it. I couldn't believe it.
Dreams, good thoughts do become Reality
I Hosted the show called“Make me over Miami” and uploaded a clip to NY casting site. As soon as I finished uploading my video reel, I noticed a casting call for a talk show host in Miami. I sent the director an application. About a month later he responded that he would like me to audition for the role as the consumer reporter on the show the Culture Club. The show is taped in LA, they pay $1500 per show as a start. My, thoughts become things. Not a bad start! I don’t know if I will get this hosting job; but I am encouraged. This dream started as a, good thought,
Now I hope you followed along with this story how my dream was reignited. I made the first move and signed up with a casting agency, followed inspiration and got tickets to Dr Phil. Visualized myself being the female version of Dr Phil. Got the video real of coach Myrna in action, got an audition!
Arifah can you share a personal story of when your, thoughts became Things
I remember one day asking myself, if I felt I was making a difference. I started to question my purpose and if I was using my skill sets wisely. I started to think about what kind of difference I wanted to make, what skills I had and how best to use them. It all seemed overwhelming at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I believed it was possible and those, good thoughts, turned into good actions.
I thought about the name of my organization, the logo, what I wanted to do, who I wanted involved and all the ways to make it a reality. Everything I thought about, it came to fruition because I believed I could manifest it. The best part about it all, was that I engaged youth I had worked with over the years to get their input on everything I was doing, from voting on my logo ideas, input about projects and their involvement in the organization.
I always dreamed about creating something that would make an impact and that would engage young people not just as participants, but leaders and creatives. I thought of the partnerships I wanted and what I hoped would happen in the next 5 years. I always tell people, I really dreamed about what I wanted, thought about it everyday in detail and put those, good thoughts, on paper, and now those good, thoughts became things. I am living in and growing my dream everyday.
How to become lifted by your purpose
Lifted by Purpose, is not just a name, it’s a way of life, I tell young people if you believe you can, your half way there to making it a reality. Thoughts, hopes and optimism, is powerful in guiding us towards what we envision and success. It may take time, you may have ups and downs, but you will also have wins once you work towards your goals.
The first 2 small grants, I applied for I got denied, I even cried I was so upset. But I believed in my vision and I kept writing grants, I turned those,, good thoughts, into a $75,000 grant! I continued to submit grants for larger sums of money and was successful. The first grant I wrote on same day as my uncles funeral, the second big grant I I wrote when I lost hearing in one of my ears for 5 weeks.
Despite the hardships, I never gave up on myself, my team and the vision to provide programs and services to youth. I always think about the potential outcome and who it benefits, over all the work to make it happen. My good, thoughts became things, and have lead me to where I am today, lifted by my purpose.
Anabrese Newman, a spiritual-well-being author and mentor wrote:
Everything is FIRST an idea or thought before it comes into creation.
Consciousness is the source of it all, meaning that your mind and thinking are the fuel for creating matter ie the physical appearance and experiences that show up in your life.
This is the basic of, Law of Attraction, teachings. They teach you to understand that you have the power to shape your life with your thoughts and emotions.
By sharing our passions/vision for the highest good of all, we can be the change we wish to see in the world and be of service to our fellow beings.
So, if you want to change your life, start by changing your thoughts because your, thoughts become things! –
Whenever we are faced with our mortality, we look back and see if we have lived a, meaningful life. At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade’s worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer and he reflected on the, meaning of life. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient struggling to understand the, meaning of life. And just like that, the future he and his wife had imagined evaporated. When Breath Becomes Air, chronicles Kalanithi’s transformation from a naïve medical student “possessed,” as he wrote, by the question of what, given that all organisms die, makes a virtuous and, meaningful life, into a neurosurgeon at Stanford working in the brain, the most critical place for human identity, and finally into a patient and new father confronting his own mortality and, life.
What is the, meaning of life? What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir.
Today on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast, I would like to take you on a journey into living!
How to live before you die
7 Ways to live a virtuous and, meaningful life.
Psychologists says that in order to live a virtuous and, meaningful life, you should have balance in these 7 areas:
1. You should have A fulfilling career – i.e. You are doing what you love.
2. You should and must have a relationship with a higher power, God.
3. You must be fruitful and multiply.
4. You should offer Service to your community.
5. You must have effective time management and stress reduction.
6. You must get quality sleep, adequate exercise and proper nutrition.
7. You should spend quality time with loved one’s friends and family.
A Fulfilling career makes, life, meaningful
Most people don't do what they love, they work to live; so they live to work!
I saw a viral picture a few weeks back on Instagram that made me chuckle
It was a picture of a man crying with the caption:
So how do you find your passion, work in your passion or work on your passion?
You have to Listen to your soul.
If you are dreading going to work, hate it all the time you are there, and you are not serving or making a difference in the lives of others, then quit. Working a job you hate does not allow for a, meaningful life.
Step out on faith.
Faith, now faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen.
Believe that God will fund your purpose, and if it is his will.
On the road to Damascus, Saul encountered Christ in a memorable experience that left him temporally blind. Immediately he started to undergo a major transformation of his whole life and character, including a total reorientation of his world view. Following this he was commissioned into service as an apostle to the Gentiles. Paul’s story highlights the 3 dynamics of a meaningful life.
The relational the, transformational, and the vocational. We must not choose one and neglect the others.
The relational experiences in a, meaningful life, results in openness to others, healing progress towards Christlikeness and participation in God’s purposes in the world.
The, Transformational, concerns how we transform after being touched by God and the Holy Spirit. Just as all Saul’s beliefs, mindset and values were altered, so can yours. This show’s mission is the offer you advice on how to do that.
The vocational is what we are talking about and it is how God works through us. I am doing God’s work.
He has given me the purpose of speaking life into you!
So, choose your vocation wisely and work as unto the Lord.
Know this for sure, that the quickest and most direct path to sickness and death is to linger in stressful situations. All diseases can be traced back to inflammation. Inflammation is brought on by stress and negative emotions.
Find your purpose and step out on faith.
As a coach, I can Help you design a plan to get there quicker.
A relationship with a higher power give you a, meaningful life
We are dual beings having both a physical and a nonphysical experience.
The most important barometer to living a meaningful and virtuous life is how your connect with source and if you understand why your soul chose this time to manifest into a physical being. i.e Understand what you are here to do!
When you meditate, you open communication with source energy and infinite intelligence.
This is the gateway, this is the path a, meaningful life.
When you are in communication with source, you get fed instructions to live a meaningful and virtuous life.
It is a 2 way communication; you ask and you receive.
So don't stay in that job that is killing you, ask your source to direct you to the right job.
Listen for the instructions on how to do it the supernatural way, and not by your own limited powers.
I am telling you from personal experience, this works.
I receive instructions every morning either in bed before I rise, during meditation or sometimes later in the day. I act on my inspirations and they always produce fruit. And because I act on them,
I keep receiving more. If you don't act on your gut instinct, your gut instincts will stop coming.
The bible teaches us not to do anything in your own strength! With God all things are possible.
Everything begins with our relationship with God and the improved quality of other relationships that develop out of this. In the intimacy of such a personal relationship, something of God’s own character gradually spills over into ours; it stimulates our, transformation. From our new awareness and knowing that God loves us, comes an increased confidence and boldness to face life’s challenges and opportunities. It motivates and empowers us to take more risks. It becomes the platform for a whole new approach to courageous and virtuous living.
God said “Be fruitful and multiply, and repopulate the earth”
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward”
Can you truly have lived a, meaningful, and virtuous life if you have not multiplied yourself?
In the bible age, women who were barren were believed to be cursed.
In today's age bearing a child is still considered one of the most rewarding and sought after experiences in life.
God hardwired unconditional love to the mother. A love that transforms hearts, an energy that is quantum, that means it can be felt over great distances just by thinking of your child.
I can tell you that the birth of my 2 children were the most, meaningful, things I did in my life. They are my reward, a gift that keeps on giving and giving.
The second question Dr Kalanitht asked as he faced his morality was:
“How do you nurture your child to live life, as yours fades away”
You see Dr Kalanitht and his wife decided to accept God’s plan for them to be fruitful and multiply.
They decided to leave a legacy behind, so they had a baby together.
The thought of leaving behind a child only increased the pain for Dr. Kalanitht.
We would all agree that leaving behind loved ones is the most painful part of death.
That is why we must live each day like it is your last.
You must impart all the love, knowledge and wisdom into your children when you are alive, so as they grow older, they would not depart from it and you will live on in their thoughts and hearts.
Be of Service to your community is another way to live a, meaningful life
Your Success is in direct proportion to your service.
We must put the fuel in before we get heat.
No man can get rich by himself, unless he enriches the lives of others.
To lead you must first serve.
Your purpose in life will always include service to others.
There’s a special connection that comes with preparing meals for others too heartbroken to cook for themselves. Making those dinners with a group of volunteers brings an intimacy and humility that cannot be matched. And one of the best spots I know to do that is at the Ronald McDonald House in Falls Church, Va., a place that offers comfort, refuge and care for families whose children are battling life-threatening illnesses.
Jarun Brown and Beverly Johnson prepare a meal at the Ronald McDonald House in Falls Church, Va.
Jarun Brown, 64, chops broccoli as we create a salad for 14 family members staying at the House. A social worker and former McDonald’s executive, she once “danced for a minute” with the Alvin Ailey Dance Company. Her previous corporate position earned her a seat on the Ronald McDonald House Charities (RMHC) board in Norfolk, Va., and she began volunteering with the Falls Church Ronald McDonald House six years ago.
“We do whatever is needed,” Brown says of the volunteers’ work. That could mean cooking a meal, cleaning the house, rotating refrigerated food or writing thank-you notes. Although volunteers and families don’t often stay in touch after leaving the House, Brown has kept in contact with a few families over the years. “It’s great to hear how our families are doing, and learn about the children’s recovery process,” she says. It makes their lives, meaningful.
Erin Petri, the evening manager, joins us. I give her an onion to chop and hope she doesn’t cry. A few minutes later another volunteer, Beverly Johnson, comes in. Volunteering with RMHC was on her bucket list after suffering the loss of a child years ago. A place like the Ronald McDonald House would have been helpful to her.
“I can relate [to what the families are experiencing] and that’s what makes it so special and so rewarding to me,” she says as she chops apples.
The families begin to enter the dining room. Several of them are drawn to the aroma of pineapple chicken simmering on the stovetop. We finish the broccoli salad and set it on the counter, next to the stove with the chicken and rice. It smells delicious and comforting, and we are happy that we have given these families what may be the only positive event for them that day.
Johnson offers to clean up, and I happily accept. “It is good therapy for me,” she says of her Ronald McDonald House work. “I think I’ve found my niche.”
Effective Time Management gives life, meaning.
The key to a stress-free life is effective time management.
If you are always working in red zone of deadline you will experience burnout.
Effective time management is scheduling your day to work on top priority tasks before you work on C or D priority tasks.
When you do this, you will eliminate stress.
Effective time management also means that you plan your days to include the things that give life meaning. Walking in nature, exercise, reading, sitting quietly to reflect or meditate, spending quality time with loved ones, and proper rest.
Getting quality sleep, good nutrition, and exercise
Physical exercise releases endorphins, improves sleep, prevents diseases, releases stress, prevents dementia, prolongs life….
I could go on and on.
Everybody knows that exercise is good for your body, mind, and soul; yet few do it.
Since our topic today is When breathe becomes air: How to live a virtuous and, meaningful life.
I think everybody reading this would want to live a quality life. One that includes being healthy and independent.
The most effective way to ensure this is to get regular exercise, adequate nutrition and proper rest
In his book “The Eat to Live Plan” John Fuhrman MD says, our body's are designed for wellness. Give it the right biochemical environment for healing and it becomes a miraculous self-healing machine. When you eat mostly high-nutrient foods, the body ages slower and is armed to prevent and reverse many common illnesses, like diabetes.
The exercise prescription and a, meaningful life
Exercise is extremely important. Almost everyone can do something, even those who cannot walk can do arm, abdominal, and back exercises with light weights or use an arm cycle. Exercise will facilitate your weight loss and make you healthier. Vigorous exercise has a powerful effect on promoting longevity.
Spending quality time with loved ones gives, life, meaning
In human affairs, there are efforts, and there are results.
The strength of the effort is the measure of the result. We know this to be a fact.
If you studied for your test, you will get a better grade.
If you make more sales calls, you will get more sales; if you spend quality time with your spouse, you will have a better marriage, if you spend quality time with your kids, they wouldn't act out looking for attention.
Invest in your relationships. Joel Osteen says that if you want your relationships to thrive, you must invest in them.
Be a giver rather than a taker. Strive to make deposits into the lives of your loved ones and other peoples lives. Encourage them, build them up, and help them to feel better about themselves.
One of the best advice I received on my wedding day, was to look at my marriage as a bank account. Don't make withdrawals if I made no deposits”
Joel Osteen says the same thing.
Look at your relationships as an “emotional bank account” Every time you interact with loved ones or friends, you are either making a deposit or a withdrawal from your account.
You make deposits in the lives of your loved ones by giving them a hug and a kiss, telling them how much you love them, spending quality time with them, listening to them when they speak or being involved in the things they love like playing the piano, sports, painting etc.
We make withdrawals when we don’t take time for people, we don’t keep our commitments, when we don’t express appreciation. When we make more withdrawals than deposits our account becomes overdrawn.
The bible says in Ecclesiastes 5:3
The dream comes through much effort and the voice of a fool through many words.
Having a, meaningful, and virtuous life comes through much effort. You can't just have the knowledge and don't put it into action, you can't just talk about wanting to live a, meaningful life, and not put the effort in.
Having a fulfilling career takes effort. You must learn the skills and then work hard to move up through the corporate ladder or building your own business.
Having a relationship with God takes the effort to find time to meditate and listen for instructions.
Being a good parent takes a lot of effort. Someone else is depending on you.
Being of service to your community takes supreme effort. Who has the time you ask? But something happens when you help the less fortunate. When you work at the soup kitchen and feed the hungry; you find your humanity. All your pedilly problems seems insignificant.
It takes effort to manage your time effectively, and not become reactionary.
It takes effort to make sure you are eating a balanced diet and taking supplements. It takes effort to get up early to exercise or do it after a long day. But if you want to live a long and meaningful life, you will do it.
If you found this content inspirational, be sure to share with your friends.
Please subscribe to my iTunes podcast “Transform your mind with coach Myrna” Transform your mind podcast link
If you would like to be a guest on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast or a sponsor a show, email Coach Myrna at [email protected]
“The goal of the, executive coach, is the goal of good management and that is to make the most of an organization’s valuable human resources.” – Harvard Business Review Organizations that embrace the culture that their employees and leaders are their most valuable resources, invest in the development of these resources.
Life Coach Myrna Young
Introduction to, Executive Coaching
There are four commonly used tools for improving human performance:
Coaching,
Consulting,
Training, and
Therapy
There are important differences between them. Just as it is important to know when to hire a consultant, it is equally important to know the when and why for using an, executive coach.
Executives claimed expanded thinking through dialogue and powerful questioning from an, executive coach. Dialogue, fueled through powerful questions, is at the heart of the, executive coaching, process. In coaching conversations, executives think out loud, become more reflective and gain access to their own tacit knowledge and unexplored ideas.The, executive coach, role is to act as a sounding board, confidant, partner, challenger and catalyst for change.
Jack has excellent technical skills and has fast-tracked to a senior executive position. He was certain he was a good leader — that is, until his, executive coach, asked him questions about his team’s excitement and engagement levels. It became clear to the, executive coach, that Jack’s team was frustrated. Jack was furious and “insulted” and he vowed never to work with his, executive coach, again. Subsequently, Jack pondered his strong reaction. He realized his, executive coach, had hit a nerve. “That’s why I reacted like that, because it was true,” he says. Jack is still working with his, executive coach, and continues to learn and develop. He appreciates his, executive coach, role in helping him gain self-awareness, which means understanding his strengths as well as his blind spots. “I don’t have these kinds of discussions with anybody else,” he says. “I am on such a straight path that I can’t see what’s going on. That’s where, executive coaching, really helps me.” Jack now expects his, executive coach, to hit a nerve from time to time. He sums it up this way: “The value to me is not for an, executive coach, to be really nice to me. I don’t need another friend. The value to me is having somebody to help me see what I can’t see.”
Executive Coaching, acts as a mirror for Jack, providing him with honest feedback and revealing gaps so he can see himself more clearly, as well as help him to identify goals and promoting sustained action.
Executive Coaching and Personal Accountability for development
Some executives use sports metaphors to describe, coaching. Anne, a high Achiever, thinks of, coaching, as a springboard for reaching her personal best at work. “Olympic medalists have, life coaches,” she says. “I want to be an Olympic medalist in business.” Anne regards her, coach, as her “personal trainer.” The common denominator in, executive coaching, and personal training is, accountability. You can learn proper techniques in a few training sessions at the gym, but it is easy to lose your way, by cutting corners, using improper techniques or missing workouts. Ongoing personal training creates momentum and accountability for development. The same is true for, executive coaching. As Anne says,
“Executive Coaching, provides an objective outside person to help you do assessments, set developmental plans and hold you accountable.”
Anne has invested heavily in her career, through education and hard work. She views, coaching, as another form of investment. She and her, coach, established developmental targets on day one. Now they have weekly meetings, either in person or on the telephone, to discuss her progress toward her targets and identify obstacles that are impeding her progress. Through coaching, Anne holds herself accountable for her continued success. Her bottom line:
“Coaching gets me from where I am today to where I want to be”
Executive coaching, facilitates what is called “just-in-time learning,” which is all about learning on the spot. Clients can practice and role play. Jack told his, coach, that he wanted to “take a stand” in his next meeting, and that he wanted to come across as confident, self-assured and assertive. Coaching, provided Jack with a dress rehearsal. He used the session to develop a strategy for the meeting. He knew that thinking on his feet in front of a group of people was not one of his strengths, so he and his coach brainstormed potential questions. Jack prepared his answers and did some role playing. The next day Jack was outstanding. He called it “a powerful experience.” The, executive coaching session, had facilitated just-in-time learning.
How, Executive Coaching, Helps the Organization:
Reduce turnover and retain top performing staff
Enhanced individual and organizational performance
Improved organizational strength
Perception of management as being committed to employees and their growth and success
Improved employee morale, more committed employees, thus greater productivity
Retention of high potential talent and talent magnet
Positive work environment, thus greater productivity
Executives learn coaching techniques which they can implement with their teams for improved relationships and productivity, as well as enhanced employee development.
Enhanced organizational performance
Positively affect organizational culture
Succession planning and development of key executives
Reputation of investing in executives through development
Enhanced reputation within industry
Ability to recruit key talent
Positioned for continued growth and success
“Executive Coaching, is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance.”
“It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them. Clients say coaching brings out their best by helping them focus, break down tasks and clarify their values.” – Fortune Magazine
Not until after we got married Kevin confided and shared with me a few situations where family members questioned his choices and wanted to ensure he understood the challenges that come with an, interracial marriage. Ericka Augutis
I want to invite you guys all to the table. We are going to be talking on the topic the, “The Color of love, interracial marriages, in America” my guest today is Erica Augustus.
Listen to the interview
Interracial Marriage in America
Ericka and I became friends when we worked at Office Depot for about 10 years, and we have maintained our friendship. I decided that I wanted to get into the conversation on, interracial marriages, in America because of what's been happening in the world and specifically in the last month or so.
It's a very difficult place for a, black woman, married to a, white man. I think it's even a little bit more complicated when your partner or your spouse cannot understand a lot of the times your, black experience. I was listening to a podcast a few weeks ago and this, black woman, was talking about her experience.
She was married for 13 years to a, white man, the marriage dissolved not because of racial differences or any kind of racial problems, but she said it contributed to it, because her husband never really got into the conversation. If she would come home and say she was discriminated against at the office, he didn't have a response or didn't talk about it and then the host asked her the question.
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Interracial Marriage black man white woman
Can a, white man, love a, black woman, and still be a racist?
And her response was, “love has nothing to do with it”, now that piqued my interest and that's the predominant reason that I wanted to get into this conversation, and have you guys all join in the conversation and discuss, the color of love.
Interracial Marriage Interview Highlights
How did you and your husband meet?
How Ericka and Kevin handled the stares from Black and White people in their, interracial marriage, when they walked down the street.
What are her thoughts on Systemic racism, did her husband understand her experience as a, Black woman.
Love has no color. How easy is it to love someone from a different race?
How does she and her husband talk to her black sons regarding the police.
My name is Ericka Augutis, my husband Kevin and I have been married for 18 years 19 in November. We do have two children. One is 14 and the other is 4.
We met about 22 years ago. He worked at a local Blockbuster in my neighborhood. He was a manager and anytime I would go into the store to look at videos, he would offer to help me. Well that's when our relationship started. Finally we went on our first date and I have to say it was really awkward for both of us and I thought okay I'm never doing that again. He was super quiet there was very little conversation. A few months went by and he called again, and asked for a second date and I was going to say no, but my mom chimed in and asked me to give him another chance. I'm so glad I did that second date because we just had the best time.
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We dated to my dismay for nearly five years, we were engaged twice. The first proposal I accepted I was elated. I was excited to say yes; but a few months later we went to a party with some of our friends and I realized some of the ladies didn’t even know I was engaged. Here I was super excited and some of his circle of friends didn’t know that were engaged. So, it really hit me hard. I felt like okay I'm really pressuring him into this, interracial marriage. So I called off the engagement.
After that we kind of went our separate ways for a few months and then we slowly started dating again. And I have to say both of us matured during that time of separation and he proposed a second time in restaurant. He got down on one knee in front of all these people and proposed me a second time. This time he was ready! We got married like a year later.
Myrna Young Did you think that he maybe didn’t want to tell his friends he was engaged because you were a, black woman?
Ericka Augutis No, I don’t think the fact that we were contemplating an, interracial marriage, had anything to do with it, or the, color of love, because I was in his circle of friends for four years. We all vacationed together so it wasn't that. I just felt like he wasn't ready and I was forcing him to get married.
Myrna Young I'm going to ask you not a question as a follow-up to that. So all the time you guys dated, five years or so, you got engaged twice you didn't see color? The question today is there a, color of love? Did any of your friends treated you differently? Or said Ericka he's white? None of his friends says hey Kevin why do you want to marry a, black woman? Nothing?
Ericka Augutis Not until after we got married Kevin confided and shared with me a few situations where family, maybe one or two family members, questioned his choices and wanted to ensure he understood the challenges to come with an, interracial marriage.
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So yes, from my perspective it came later as well, being a successful, black woman, my parents and other family members wanted to know why I was dating someone that doesn't look like me. I really had to kind of ask myself that question as well. I realized it's not as if I said to myself, I'm going to find a Caucasian man and have this, interracial marriage. I fell in love with a white man.
Myrna Young Yea Love is color blind actually, Love is an Emotion, it's a feeling and it doesn't see color!
Ericka Augutis There were experiences and times where we had to deal with the looks and the stairs especially when we would go into places where everyone was a little older. I would say during that time anyone that was over age of 65 would give us those looks on both sides. It's not just the Caucasian folks, black folks as well.
Myrna Young Did you let the stares and looks bother you?
Ericka Augutis No, Kevin was always so confident and strong and it made me just feel like I had nothing to worry about. But there was this time just after we had our son Kevin Jr, we were having dinner in this fancy restaurant and this gentleman, I probably shouldn't call him a gentleman. A white man, came over to our table and he said to Kevin, Is this your son? My husband says yes, he says well I'm going to tell you I'm a doctor that's not your son!
You got to be kidding me!
I am not kidding. it was such a strange experience. I mean he just came over and I think his goal was just to disturb our night and really rock and test the foundations of our, interracial marriage. That was one experience that I'll never forget.
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Myrna Young Okay but in your marriage of itself was there any kind of friction at all regarding race? Was all the friction from outside people looking in and trying to disturb your harmony? For instance as a, black woman, is it hard to go and talk to a partner that is outside your race about racism that's been happening to you? Because, it's not their experience and they can't understand it how a, black women, survive in the workplace for instance? As a, black woman, I have not been discriminated against a lot and especially growing up in Canada; but I know that if I was talking to a, black man, who had a white spouse, it would have been a totally different conversation. Because as a, black man, he would have been harassed by the police, he would have been discriminated at work, he would have experienced racism throughout his life. Racism that his white spouse would not be able to understand or identify.
So, did any of those situations happen in your marriage where your husband couldn't understand your black experience?
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Ericka Augutis I would say initially when we're in the newlywed stage, there were a few situations, super minor things, nothing hardcore or anything like that; but I could tell there was an inequality in the situation. When I talked about it, he would always ask me why I was so passionate? That was his word or way of saying, why are you so angry? It took me about three or four times of him saying that or using that phrase for me to get that he's trying to ask me to express myself and make him understand. Why was something so small making you angry? So, once I understood what he was truly trying to say and ask me, we had a tough conversation on racism.
I explained to him the history black people and the challenges I've experienced throughout my career being a, black woman. I think in his career not everyone knows he's married to a, black woman; so he would hear things people would say that were borderline racist and he would tell me he got it.
Myrna Young Not only did your husband not understand your black experience but as a, black woman, I didn't understand my husband's black experience either. My husband was a police officer and what upset him more than anything else was that he was going out there every night putting his life on the line and yet the white officers were racial against him. Not just my husband; but they were racist against all the black officers in the department. There was no equality even when they could die together. My husband would say we bleed the same blood, when we're out there on the street and I am treated differently. I didn't understand until recently when I understood the definition of a racist and the definition of racist policies. I had to go back to him and apologize for not understanding.
That's basically what I would I wanted to you know. To find out from you how is the cohesiveness in an, interracial marriage, when one person has white privilege and the other person has to claw their way for everything?
So, the other question I have on here is and I think you mentioned it, people staring at you and I think you said that you felt protected because Kevin was so strong and you weren't scared; but did it bother you psychologically?
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Ericka Augutis We've been married for so long, I would say it bothered me until we had our son. A small portion of me would wonder is it worth it? Is it worth it, why can't we just go out to dinner and just have a nice dinner without any stares, comments or judgment? So I would say, yes it does bother you, it does affect you. You just have to find a way to deal with it and ensure that your relationship is solid enough where it's worth it.
How does Interracial Marriage affect children?
Myrna Young How does your 14-year-old son, he's old enough to understand what' going on right now in the world, how does he relate to having a white dad?
Ericka Augutis Oh, that's a good question so, he’s actually okay with it. He was in Boy Scouts from the age of I think five or six until 12 years old and I remember we were on a camping trip he may have been 7 or 8 at the time and he came into our tent and I could tell something was wrong. His face was a little flushed, so I said to him what's wrong he said this kid asked him why is your dad white and your mom black?
I said, what did you say? He says I said because they love each other! So I think he's okay with what’s going on right now. I did not know how to quite handle it when a child asked him like where is he from? If he was Spanish? I think that's he's at that stage where he's getting that question and has to figure out how he's going to handle it and answer it.
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Myrna Young It sounds like your, interracial marriage, is healthy. You guys don't see color. Your, color of love, is blended. You love your kids, you show them love you don't show them a difference and that's definitely the way to go about it. So your, interracial marriage, experience has been a good one. As a, black woman, marrying outside of your race you still go through get the same racism and racist policies that our, black men, go through on a lesser scale.
That's basically what I wanted to have a conversation so that we can shed a light on, interracial marriages. I mean we're looking at black and white but, interracial marriage, can also be Spanish and black or even religion Muslim and Christian or anything that makes you different. It causes some controversy or cause some friction.
Ericka Augutis I don't want the podcast listeners thinking I am making, interracial marriage, sound like it's just perfect. Absolutely not, there are challenges don't get me wrong. When we get invited to parties and there's only a sprinkle of brown and black people in room, you have to figure out how to navigate. Do you want to be like over-the-top polished or just be yourself. When our families get together we both have to play roles. Every day you encounter racism. If you're dealing with the public or you go in a public space you're dealing with those types of situations where people are looking people are asking questions so it's a conversation that you have more often than not. When you're in a relationship like this, it's something that you have to deal with if you want it to work out.
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Myrna Young I thank you for coming on and having a seat at this table I appreciate it. I hope our readers and listeners learned a few things one, interracial marriages, can work. They can be successful, you just have to have love and talk about it.
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