Category Archives: coaching

7 Strategies to Personal Growth

Do you have the, mindset, to scale the personal mountains in your life and get to, personal growth? In this episode of 5 mins with, Coach Myrna, I share 7 tips to acquiring the mindset of an, mount Everest, climber.

The mindset of a, Mount Everest, mountain climber? How to tackle your personal mountains.

Climbing Mount Everest

Not sure why but I picked up the book, “Into Thin Air, my expedition to the top of the world,” maybe it was because one of my goals was to hike the Himalayas, not climb, Mount Everest.  Let's be clear! but after reading this book I was amazed by what, mindsets, could accomplish.

The, positive mindset, can elevate your life and make you stretch yourself, while its opposite a negative mindset can anchor you wherever you are.

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The Mindset of a Mount Everest Climber

As an, Everest, mountain climber,  you are aware that your odds of dying is high. Even if you don't die, your chances of frost bite or other dangers increase with every feet closer to the summit! The thin air can make you lose brain cells, lack of oxygen to your brain can give you brain damage. YET! The writer says that The line of, mount Everest, climbers attempting to get to the top, looks like the line at Walt Disney world. I wonder how these, mount Everest, climbers deal with their, personal mountains, or, personal growth.

What, mindset, do you have to develop to pay the $65,000 fee, risk your life, and push yourself beyond your limits to summit,  Mount Everest?

I discovered these 7 characteristics of people who climb their, personal mountains, personal growth,  and become, Mount Everest, mountain climbers:

7 Characteristics  of Personal Growth

1. Strong Mindset – Think of the, mindset, you have to have, to WANT to climb, Mount Everest, the top of the world 29, 035 feet in the sky! Let's put that into perspective that the height that airplanes fly at! Hopefully your, personal mountains, don't seem of this magnitude!

2. They want to test their limits– After reading “Into Thin Air” I listened to a Ted talk by Lori Schneider. She was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis, and decided to make a goal of scaling the highest peaks on each continent before her MS progressed and she lost the use of her legs. She accomplished this feat and became the first woman with multiple sclerosis to summit,  Mount Everest. That was her, personal mountain, or, personal growth  and she climbed it and won.

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3. They faced their fears – When you face your fears, especially the ones that tell you, you are not good enough, doing something super human sure proves that you are indeed good enough and wipes out fear forever more! Fear is false evidence appearing real. It is a bully and when you stand up to it, it always runs away. You have to remove fear to climb any of your, personal mountains,

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4. They are both mentally and physically strong – Climbing your, personal mountains, is both a mental and physical challenge. Climbing your, personal mountains, has nothing to do with physical strength. In the book “Into Thin Air” one of the climbers that reached the peak was a 95 lb woman. Mental strength is more powerful than physical strength.

5. Perseverance – Climbing high altitude mountains is a marathon not a sprint. You have to acclimatize yourself to the high altitudes by climbing to incremental altitudes and climbing back down several times. In the same way you can't scale your, personal mountains, in one jump, you have to approach it like a mountaineer or a marathon runner, take small bites at a time. Start with the small, personal mountains, and work to way the top of the world Mount Everest 29, 035 feet above the earth!

6. A Growth mindset – The climbers who summited Mt Everest saw Challenges as an opportunity to grow and develop. There is an old saying “What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger” Look at your, personal mountains, as a way to grow.

7. Willingness to be uncomfortable – There is no growth or victory until you get out if your comfort zone. The hardship a climber experiences on a climb is chilling. No pun intended. Climbing your, personal mountains, will definitely get you out of your comfort zone or it is not a mountain!

What can we learn from them? We learn that where there is a will, there is a way. All obstacles can be called, personal mountains, you have to climb them all one step at a time, carrying a heavy load, with frozen limbs, totally exhausted by the effort of just putting one foot in front of the other and when you finally reach the top, you have to still get back down!

If ordinary people can do it, you can climb your, personal mountains, as well. Live your dreams and dream big, really big.

Imagine being diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis and deciding to climb to the top of Mt Everest with no previous experience!

Believe in the unbelievable!
Climb beyond your limits, it is all a matter of Mind over Matter

If you have a friend that needs encouragement, feel free to share this episode and remember to subscribe and post a review.

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Additional Resources
Howe Committed Are You? – 4 Steps For Climbing Your Personal Mountains
https://www.finerminds.com/mind-power/personal-mountains/
How to Face a Challenge With Confidence
https://chopra.com/articles/how-to-face-a-challenge-with-confidence
https://myhelps.us/the-quest-for-purpose-six-holistic-ways-finding-purpose/
https://myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/https://myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

 

Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true.  What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.

Listen to full interview here: 

For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.

Introduction Core Beliefs 

Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.

The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.

Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it's costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:

  • How we feel love,
  • our self-worth,
  • how we feel security, and
  • fulfillment.
  • Life after death. 

Your, core beliefs, can't be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal. 

Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs 

A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:

  • I am loving and lovable.
  • I am worthy.
  • I am safe and trusting.
  • I am fulfilled and whole.

The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief.  Therefore, the rules that apply to the,  Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.

Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith  Without Works Is Dead”.

Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief? 

If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away.  Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.

Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world.  Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!

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Here is A Self-Awareness Exercise to help you understand Your, Core Beliefs,

Look upon what's happening now in your life as a reflection of your, core beliefs.

Are there any patterns you see? For example:

  • Do all your relationships fail?
  • Are you in constant debt?
  • Do you find it hard to keep friends?

Listen to yourself. Once you figure it out, then turn it around. Ask yourself:

  • What do I want?
  • What would I have to believe in order to have this?

Next, you're going to re-program yourself.

You may need the help of a coach like, Myrna Young, or mentor but; self-awareness is the key to changing your, core beliefs,

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief,  For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!

Additional resources:

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/challenging-automatic-thoughts-positive-thoughts-worksheets/

Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept

Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.

For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.

This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.

How to Live with Intention During the Tension

We all know that there's a lot of, tension, right now in the world. We can't even just say America because this is a global pandemic. There's a lot of uncertainty so living with, intention, relieves stress.

A few weeks ago I was looking at these large groups and wondering  If I would  ever again  be comfortable at a concert or a parade with thousands of people? Will our consciousness around this, tension, be changed forever?

Listen to the full interview 

Introduction Intentional living in the Tension

So how do we traverse this, tension, with, intention? We shouldn't always just react, we should have some, intention.

Meanwhile, one of the things I also want to mention is, intentional living.  Some people are have the, intention, to live intentionally. The people who practice, intentional living,  are called, minimalists. What, minimalists, do for intentional living is they intentionally live with few possessions. They do that because, intentional living, with only the items that support your purpose, is one of the ways to live with, intention.  So, minimalists, are saying  “we don't need all this stuff, we're getting rid of all this junk and we're going to practice, intentional living.

Minimalists, made me remember or think about the tiny homes movement.

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Thane Marcus Ringler on Intention in the Tension

Thane Marcus Ringler, is a former professional golfer turned speaker, writer and development coach living in Denver Colorado with his wife, Evan.  Thane's mission is to help others live and work better. He's passionate about speaking to the journey from the journey and is striving to empower this generation to take ownership of their lives and never settle for less than they're capable of.

Thane is the host of the “Up and Comers” show – a podcast all about the process of becoming and, intentional living, while sharing stories from other inspiring Up and Comers. Find out more about Thane and his work on, intention, in the, tension, by visiting him on the web.

Alright, I'm going to digress a little bit from the normal start to my interviews, because, I love your podcast the Up and Comers show because I love stories. Stories are a good way to teach as you said; you do stories on, living intentionally.  Do you follow the format of the American life podcast?  They perfected storytelling and became the first popular podcast.

Thane – Thanks for asking. It's been a really fun journey of about four years now. Obviously when you do something for that length of time, it changes a lot as you do it. It kind of shifts and iterates into different forms; but ultimately it was mirrored off of similar shows like the Tim Ferriss show or even the Joe Rogan experience. In that, they're long-form interviews that are more of a dance than a system, with the length of time being on average with interviews around 90 minutes.

It allows someone's story to really be told. People that are, living intentionally, like you said earlier, in this, tension, because I think that is the big difference between, intentional living, and maybe normal living.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
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What is Intentional Living?

Myrna – Yes, I love hearing how we can do, intentional living. Whether it's intentional for personal growth which is basically my, intention, learning something every day and not to be reactive, living intentionally.

Thane – Everyone does have a story to tell and I think those are really fun to hear from other people mine. I grew up in Kansas, the  Central heartland of America and ended up going to California for college, spent about 10 years out there in LA. Vastly different cultures just socially and interacted with a lot of different peoples within that timeframe. I did play golf.

My whole life I was an athlete and competitor; I ended up getting to play about four years professionally, that was a really neat journey. I felt very blessed to have that opportunity in the second half of my career when I faced that injury that repeated about five times over a year and a half that sidelined me for a lot of it. That was very frustrating; but also diversified my interests.

During that time, I started the podcast with a buddy of mine. Thereafter, I started on my journey of writing the book that you talked about last time. From Here to There was my first book and that was really about the experience of playing golf. My whole life in a high level taught me about how to pursue excellence in any field and then from that I kind of went on building a speaking career and pursuing more opportunities as a speaker.

That was a really neat adventure. This coaching practice has kind of been the main focus outside of professional golf for the last three years, working with individuals on personal and professional development.

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Using the power of intention to get unstuck in life

A lot of times that involves three types of people:

  • People who are stuck and want to get unstuck.
  • Some who are transitioning or starting something on the side and want help with finding the right path to follow or even the feedback that they need to hear on how they can develop to set themselves up for success.
  • Then, finally people who want to level up in their work or in their lives and need some extra accountability and objectivity to do that.

Life Coaching part 1: Who am I

That's been a really fulfilling process for me, I help people live with, intention. Playing golf I was more focused on myself and not other people.  Most recently, this year I got married at the start of COVID and moved to Denver where my wife and I now live, and that's been a really sweet transition even though so much change is going on in our world. We've definitely experienced a lot of that even personally.

This fall, I'm really excited. In November, the two online courses I’ve been building are going to be finally released and that's been the next chapter that I’m really excited about.

Myrna – So, how does the, power of intention, help when you're stuck, afraid alone like many of us during this pandemic?

One of the areas that you mentioned that you coach is helping people who are in the stuck place in life.  I would probably think that most of the people that are coming into the life coaching conversation is stuck somewhere, right?

Well as humans, we all are to some extent constantly either stuck in a circular movement. Usually that means digressing or decaying in some way where we're growing, we're moving forward and there's really in between there's no sitting on the fence in the middle of those two sides, at least not for very long. I like to think, as humans, I think our natural default if we don't make a choice is to go down the path of least resistance and not live with, intention.

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Intentional living is going with the flow

So, if we don't choose, living intentionally,  we're going to be going downhill. Our brains are designed that way. In order to go upstream or the path of most resistance, we have to have effort and, intention, which is ultimately discipline. Discipline is effort, and, intention, is saying  “I’m going to choose to go upstream and I’m going to put forth the effort to do so by rowing or whatever the illustration”.

I struggled with this idea that in practicing, there's a practice and performance mentality. I think this would be helpful for what we're talking about. Here, the practice mentality is saying “I’m going to hold myself to a higher standard with, intention.” I think I can achieve, intention, because of practice. It's okay to fail in practice because, there are no consequences; but I’m going to try to reach a level that I didn't even think I can reach”.

That's good training for, intentional living. When we come to a performance, if we maintain that mindset and we keep failing to reach that super high level we start beating ourselves up – like “Oh! You suck, you aren't good enough, you're never going to get there, and you’re never going to perform.

Thane – What we are speaking about is self-awareness. A lot of times, having a self-awareness to know what we need ourselves – means we need to understand ourselves. I think the three primary tools of self-awareness are journaling and reflecting which is just sitting with a pen and paper. Now looking back on a situation or a day or a moment or our lives and understanding it more clearly. That’s feedback, you're thinking about having a person in your life whether it be a coach, mentor, family member, a close friend or confidant who can help you see more objectively; because we are inherently subjective.

Then there is meditation, just being able to sit in the present moment and remove the distractions that cloud our vision and by using those three primary tools. We get way better at seeing ourselves clearly, so that we can steer ourselves better and live with, intention.

Myrna – Self-awareness and meditation, that's awesome.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Intention in the Tension

What does it mean to live with, intention in the, tension?

Myrna – When I researched, intentions, what came up was Justin Bieber's song –intentions, he's talking about shower you with my, attention. These are my only, intentions. So, let's dive in and talk about these, intentions, in the, tension.

Thane – The, intention, is really the reason behind what we do. So, intentional living, is just infusing a why,  a reason or purpose into our daily lives, our daily thoughts or daily actions. Again, it doesn't happen by chance. We don't default into this, we have to choose it and so a lot of it really revolves around purpose and identity. In the whole phrase, intention, in the, tension, my co-founder of the podcast; Adam Setzer came up with that term.

I think it's just a catchy phrase to show that in life we face, tensions, we all know this very well right now in the COVID 19 pandemic. There are people that are on the one side of the, tension, (always wear masks). And there are people saying, “no don't ever wear masks.”  Everyone's at a different place, some are following President Trump saying this pandemic is nothing and it would go away and some people are so fearful, they stay home, because there's a lot of, tension.

So, those are just two myriads are the more permanent or pressing right now; but every single day we have, tension, that we face even from exercise.

Tension during the COVID 19 Pandemic

Try getting married during COVID, like I did. You have, tension, as a  newly married couple during COVID 19. The point of, tensions, isn't to pick a side and then just rest on that side. A lot of times with, the power of intention, the best place to be is in the middle, in the gray, in the messy, tension. By choosing a side, we eliminate the, tension, but really that isn't the best place to be.

The best place is to be in the middle. When we're living in the, tension, we have to infuse, intention, and a purpose or reason. Why? So that we can be able to see both sides with some fairness, with some objectivity without camping out and saying okay I’ve already made my mind. I already know everything and I’ve already arrived. That is never true for any of us in life, so a lot of it revolves around recognizing that there are, tensions, and then understanding our purpose and our identity.

Myrna – There's a lot going on right now. Everybody is talking about how divorce rates has just shot up, because people are forced to be together with, tension. There's a lot of, tension, because there's no outlets; but I like what you said, I’m a Christian and I was just finished reading this really fabulous book, Think like a Monk by Jay Shetty and one of the things I learned from that book is that we don’t always get back the love from the people we give it to.

Jay Shetty shared a story when he was in this monk. He's complained to the senior monk that he was giving all this out this service and love and he was not getting anything back. Then, the senior monk told him that a lot of times when you give out love, you don't get it back from the same people but the universe always send it back.

So, we are giving out love to let's say a spouse or children or something and we're expecting it back; but love like Jesus said love your enemy as your friend. You should know that the foundation of the Bible is ALL LOVE. It's not necessary that you’re going to love somebody that loves you. If you love your enemy, then obviously they don't love you back.

So, if you have the, intention,  that you're going to love unconditionally and maybe it's will boomerang back to you, even if it's not from this person; but you're going to get it back somehow. That actually makes it easier.

Hope and the Power of Intention

Myrna – What do you think helps us live full of hope and live with, intention, in 2020?

Thane – HOPE, as you earlier mentioned is I believe, readily available for anyone at any time. I think hope is the fuel that comes from just reframing our perspective on things. When your perspective is simply your view of a situation, an object or yourself and guess what that can be viewed from many different places, hope in 2020 as you rightly said is something that more and more people are feeling hopeless.

I think it starts just by reframing our perspective. My book “Catalyst for Hope”. It's really just talking about four catalysts or four simple perspectives that I’ve found to unlock a lot of hope in my life.

We can always do this and it’s very simple. The fact that we are all in process that has not finished yet, is not over. We get to keep going forward and we get to keep moving. We still have a choice and a chance to live, breathe and do work in this world. Be a part of the change we wish to see.

In conclusion

Myrna – Tell us about your online courses, you told me you have two of them. One is “Growing Self-awareness” and we have talked about that, which is great. Another word for Self-awareness is “Consciousness”.

I thought I heard something the other day about one of those books – Think like a Monk that he mentioned, that consciousness is the biggest way to live with, intention.  I mean it's a word that everybody throws around and nobody knows what it is. However, self-awareness and consciousness is like hope. What I mean is, if you practice it and you live in it, then it's the biggest thing that you can do in your life.

The other book title is “Developing Discipline”. Of course, as a professional golfer discipline is big. Discipline is the most fundamental component of being a good leader. Meanwhile, being a good leader starts always with self leadership, you have to be able to lead yourself well before you can lead others.

Thane – I'm all about growing self leadership for myself and for others. These two courses, I believe are going to help with self-awareness and discipline being fundamental aspects. In the two courses, what people can expect is they're both eight-week courses and so it's self-directed meaning – if you want to go faster or slower, you can.

I recommend eight weeks and that's how it's set up because it gives us enough time to really put these things into practice. Then thereafter, start shifting our identity and the way we see ourselves with these things so we can start saying I'm not just pursuing discipline, I am a disciplined person and that's the shift that we want to make in those eight weeks.

Additional Resources

How to Transform your Career with Purpose

 

A New Business Strategy: Increasing Your Capacity

As a Business Coach, I kept getting clients who kept hitting a plateau with, business strategy.  They hired experts to help them figure out the right business model,  to surpass this plateau or ceiling; but they kept hitting this ceiling, nothing was working. It reminded me of my own, capacity, issue.~~~Lisa Fabrega

In this interview I speak with  to Lisa Fabrega, leadership coach on the topic It's not your, business strategy, it's your, capacity.

Listen to Full Interview 

Introduction to Capacity

Myrna – What I love about this topic is references one of my favorite quotes

You are the Lid! You can only  go as far as your, capacity, for growth.

So the headline It's not your, business strategy, it is your, capacity, for growth resonates with me.

Lisa as a Business coach, How did you stumble on the concept that what's was holding your clients back was not their, business strategy, or goals but their, capacity?

Lisa – Great question I stumbled upon this concept very early on in my coaching practice.

I was actually was a health coach working with clients on nutrition.   I noticed from my first couple of clients weren't talking about food, instead it was their, capacity, was the focus.

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Blue Cheese dedicated to Nupsey Hussle
Blue Cheese dedicated to Nupsey Hussle

BleuCheese by:Frank Blacq dedicated this track in the loving memory of Nipsey Hussle follow me @Fblacq229

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My clients were very ambitious and had already achieved a lot and yet they were hitting a plateau or something wasn't working anymore.  They couldn't figure out what it was even though they were very smart people, so they'd throw a bunch of, business strategy, at the problem.

When, business strategy, didn’t work, they would hire experts to figure out the right business model,  to surpass this plateau or ceiling.  But they kept hitting this ceiling, nothing was working. It reminded me of my own, capacity, issue.

Four years ago I had a, capacity, issue. My coaching packages were sold out, I had a huge wait list.  I was overwhelmed with requests and I didn't have the, capacity, for it at the time.  One thing I always say to my clients is if Oprah called you tomorrow, are you ready?  Do you have the, capacity, to handle that influx of new business?

I thought this must be a, business strategy, problem instead of diagnosing it correctly that I had a, capacity, issue.  I couldn't hold handle or receive what was coming my way on many levels, so I went and invested a ton of money in a new, business strategy, and a funnel and I ended up a hundred thousand dollars in debt.

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Myrna –  I would make the same decision. I immediately would think I needed to add more staff or something that's probably what you did right?

Lisa –  I added more staff,  I hired a huge expansion team, I started a whole new funnel!  It was the most stressful year of my life because I did not sleep that entire year.  I was so stressed out about the money and the debt.

After doing some real deep self-reflection about what actually caused that problem,  I started to noticing my conversations with my clients who also had, business strategy, issues. I realized that It was not a, business strategy, issue but a, capacity, issue.

Myrna – Obviously you need, business strategy; but you also need the, capacity, to get there; so how did you transition your clients to look at their, capacity, not their, business strategy?

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Six areas of building capacity

Lisa – I realized that there are six areas of, capacity. I  drilled it down to six because everything kind of falls under these, capacity, areas that we tend to struggle with as ambitious and successful people.

  • Money capacity – What’s your, money capacity? Score yourself from zero to ten. Are you earning enough,  saving and investing larger and larger amounts of money every year?  If you answered No, then ask yourself why not?
  • Visibility capacity – visibility capacity is your ability to allow all of you to be fully seen in your work. So many people hide little bits of themselves from their brand and from their clients and then end up with a misalignment. A lot of my women clients who come to me and tell me they're drained, it's not that they're overworked or have the wrong, business strategy; the burnout is not because of that, it's because they're hiding these parts of themselves and it's so exhausting to have to constantly hide and not be transparent.
  • Purpose capacity – purpose capacity is when your inside matches your outside. Your, business strategy,  is lined up with your true purpose. You can’t start a business just because it has the potential to make you lots of money.  Your business must also line up with your values and purpose.
  • Embodiment capacity – embodiment capacity is your emotional, spiritual, mental and physical capacity.  If you were to get up on a stage in front of a thousand people and it drains the life force out of you  to the  point that you're exhausted and have to recover for two days, you have an, embodiment capacity, issue.  If somebody leaves a nasty comment on your Instagram post and you are just like freaked out and hiding for two weeks, you have an, embodiment capacity, issue.
  • Structural capacity – I call this also your foundation capacity. What are the foundations that are holding you up or lifting you up to your next level? What systems or, business strategy, do you have at home, or at work to hold you up?
  • Boundary capacity – boundary capacity is about being clear about who you are. It's not just boundaries with other people, it's boundaries with yourself; because sure you could work 10 hours today but is actually going to serve where you're going? Should you instead get some rest?  That's setting a boundary with yourself.

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How to Expand your Capacity: your New Business Strategy

Myrna – What can women do to expand their capacity for growth, wealth and success?

Lisa –  It starts with knowing how they score on the  six capacities.

It will tell you what the real problem is because the biggest roadblock we experience when trying to expand our, capacity, is that we misdiagnose the actual problem.

If women don't get clear and score themselves in these areas, they might think they have a structural issue or a strategic issue and don't realize that it’s actually a, money capacity.

Why does our energy level affect our Capacity

Myrna – One of the things I wanted to ask you about is this, embodiment capacity.  You said  we can subconsciously drain our energy and power thus lowering our, capacity; explain that a little.

Lisa – I think that some of the ways that we unconsciously drain our power is through what I call emotional labor.  Women particularly do this a lot and that's actually part of an, embodiment capacity, issue.  I have a great example. One of my clients told her husband would ask her every week after she would put the towels away, where's the such-and-such towel and she'd say “it's in the closet with the towels”  and he would say. “I don't see it”  and she'd have to walk over to the closet and the towel would be right there.

This went on every week until she told him she was not doing any more emotional labor, that he can find the damm towel himself, she was no longer going to get up from what she was doing to find the towel for him.

This is a great example of tiny ways that we do emotional labor without realizing that we are being drained. These little leaks, I call them little power leaks leave you exhausted.  You wonder why you're exhausted and burned out and it has nothing to do with your, business strategy, we have to be mindful of our energy. It’s being drained from emotional labor with our family, friends and even clients.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Tim Trilioni is a New Orleans Native who’s grown up literally most of his life around all genres
and music forms. He fell in love with Jazz music from a young age performing at local jazz
clubs, churches and events. As an artist, Tim Trilioni does not feel artists should put boundaries
on their musical expression and it shows in his work. He loves Afro Beats and Kwaito. He is
currently discussing potential collaborations with artists from these genres in the near future.

Follow Tim on https://www.instagram.com/timtrilioni/

 

Myrna – So true, women especially the care-giving kind of woman are always doing things for other people and then they emotionally drain themselves and then they don't have the energy to do anything for some themselves which is why the self-care movement is becoming so popular.

If you're emotionally drained, it limits your, capacity,  we can't operate within our full capacity if our battery is drained.

Four  keys to unlock Capacity: Your New Business Strategy 

  1. Pleasure – pleasure can be whatever it means to you, it could be taking a walk in the park, it could be taking a break, getting in the tub, getting some nice smelling lotion and rubbing it on your hands. Making sure to have those pleasure breaks because it’s like refueling your tank. Allow your, business strategy, to be your best self.
  2. Eat Whole Foods – According to Ayurveda, it is very important to eat foods that are natural and pure for their full benefit to be absorbed by the body. When foods are as close to their state in nature as possible, that's when they deliver the most potent nutrition. Foods that have been genetically altered, processed or refined have much of their natural intelligence stripped from them, disturb the intellect and the coordination and lowers our, capacity .
  3. Manage stress levels – We live in difficult times. Stress and anxiety, whether caused by time pressures or difficult work relationships, stress can have a significant negative impact on mental performance. A calm mind, serene and centered in its equilibrium, is unquestionably superior in terms of focus, attention span, retention of knowledge and problem-solving ability. It is important to manage stress before it becomes a severe problem, because stress has been known to damage or destroy brain cells, and many prescription pills for anxiety can have side effects that can further erode mental performance and, capacity. a new, business strategy, manage your stress.
  4. Get adequate, quality sleep – Related to stress is the other plague of modern society — lack of deep, restful sleep. With diet and lifestyle, sleep is a fundamental pillar of increasing your, capacity. Optimal physical and mental performance is impossible if sleep is not addressed. Getting eight hours of sleep is less important than striving for quality sleep, which occurs when the mind is totally disconnected from the senses. Quality sleep recharges and rejuvenates the mind, improving both short-term and long-term mental prowess as well as your, capacity for growth.

Myrna – I understand that you have  a capacity in crisis virtual workshop.

Lisa –  First of all I have an amazing free gift for your listeners.  To get your Free Gift head over to  my website at www.lisafabrega.com.

You can also sign up for my newsletter it’s actually an entire video series that I call the, capacity conversations.  It's like binging on Netflix except you get to binge and expand your, capacity, instead of numbing your mind.

You get a series of free videos that walk you through all the capacities and help you diagnose what your capacity issue might be holding you back.

Myrna – I want to introduce a contest this week. The prize is a gift card from one of our sponsors hbnaturals.com.  One of you lucky listeners will get this $25 gift card for subscribing to either the Transform Your Mind iTunes podcast or subscribing to the Transform Your Mind podcast Youtube channel. Once you subscribe send me an email to [email protected] with your contact information and if you are the winner, you will get this gift card to purchase any of the products on hbnatures.com coffee, skincare products, tea,  CBD oil, super-foods, essential oils, pet products and more.

I want to invite you all to join my private Facebook group called life coach, this group has lots of life coaches giving daily inspiration and tips to live your best like now.

Additional Resources 

How to Find your Passion Purpose and Freedom as a Mompreneur

How to Become an Entrepreneur

https://www.moneycarer.org.uk/useful-information/capacity-assessment-for-money-management.html

How to become Limitless: Emotional Intelligence Leadership

Become limitless, with, emotional intelligence leadership. Your, emotional intelligence leadership,  skills keeps track of everything.  It stores emotions,  holds emotional experiences.  Emotional intelligence self awareness, refers to your ability to notice and express your emotions.  How well you control your own emotions and to notice as well and to manage how those emotions affect you and affect us around you in positive or negative ways.

Listen to the Full Interview

 

Introduction to becoming Limitless with, Emotional Intelligence Self Awareness

My guest today is Adri Kyser, she is an international holistic wellness and personal development Coach.  We discuss the very exciting topic, renewing your mind, going from limited to, limitless by taping into our, emotional intelligence.

Adri Kyser yoga, uses the enlightened alchemy method that has helped thousands of women worldwide achieve everything from reduced pain and stress to increasing confidence and productivity. She's also the co-author of the best-selling book “Overcoming Adversity and Entrepreneurship

She was born in Venezuela, went to Law school, (since I was born in Guyana, we are neighbors.) But when she came to the United States she felt not good enough, because she spoke with an accent.

Adri has helped over 4500 men and women worldwide change the narrative of their painful memories, so they can tap into their own super power and go from being limited to living a life of, limitless, potential.

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The Four Components to becoming, Limitless

I found four key components to long-lasting health, happiness and fulfillment using, emotional intelligence leadership.

  1. Physical health – how you take care of your body
  2. Mental wellness – how you perceive the world number
  3. Emotional Intelligence – how you experience the world
  4. Spiritual connection – how you feed your soul including, Adri Kyser yoga

When you really begin to work on these foundations, these pillars you begin to shift and see tremendous transformations in your life.  You begin to heal from the inside out, and become empowered.  You are no longer driven by your negative voice.

The impostor syndrome that a lot of us have, especially women is that voice that's constantly saying.   Are you sure you can do that?  You're not good enough to do that.  That voice that feeds your fears, your insecurities and even your self-sabotaging behavior, that negative voice. Using your, emotional intelligence leadership, skills allows you to become aware of that voice.

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Myrna – If we want to change, then it's never from the exterior, it's always from the interior.  A lot of women feel they are not good enough. Michelle Obama wrote an entire book on this subject “Becoming”.  Even as the First Lady, she still felt not good enough.

We feel not good enough, when a person of authority tells us something negative and it becomes imprinted on our minds.

Most of the time we stuff it down and don't actually know that we are holding on to that hurt,  then it comes it comes up in chronic pain.  It comes up in overeating or even when you drink or take drugs or any of that stuff.  You are trying to artificially change your state;  but one of the best ways to change your state is to go inwards maybe in gratitude, because that's basically what I do.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What is your method for teaching someone to understand what emotions they've stuffed down?

Adri – I call this process Enlightened Alchemy.  This is a process that was born from my personal experience and then from working with clients. It is the process of transforming the physical, mental, and emotional with, emotional intelligence leadership.  Including even the spiritual transformation of one's self.

What made these transformations successful, was not just addressing the pain or one particular area of life, it was addressing all those four components of life.  If you're ready to get the soulmate,  ready to lose the weight,  ready to make X amount of money in your business? I am here to help you go from limited to, limitless, using your, emotional intelligence leadership.

I'm here to help you go within, clear some stuff,  remove the stuff that's preventing you from, becoming limitless.  So you can feel empowered, so you can feel confident and know your true potential to,  become limitless.

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Myrna – As Coaches we are supposed to be enabling our clients, we're supposed to be having our clients understand their blockages,  understand what’s preventing them from becoming, limitless, by looking at their past and seeing their patterns. Using, emotional intelligence leadership.

Is your Enlightened Alchemy based on the four principles: the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual?

Adri –  Yes. I also call myself an energy alchemist, because I do a lot of energy work and activation.

Because everybody's unique,  I truly believe in the holistic approach, mind, body, emotions and spirit; so that everything we do whether it's business coaching or life coaching or whatever it is includes all four pillars.

How can, emotional intelligence leadership, help someone with emotions that they've stuffed down?

Adri – Your body remembers everything that you've ever done.  Every emotion, every thought, how you're eating, how you're sleeping.  It keeps track of everything.  Moving to the  mental part of your thoughts, on average an individual has about 70 000 thoughts per day.

About 10% of those thoughts are original thoughts so meaning 90% of your thoughts are repetition of the day before, or  weeks before, or even years before.  The problem with this, is your belief will affect your biology. Meaning your belief will affect how your body responds.  It changes your biochemistry.

So that's why the mind and body are so important.  Emotional intelligence self awareness, keeps track of everything.  It stores emotions,  holds emotional experiences.   Emotional intelligence leadership, refers to your ability to notice and express your emotions.  How well you control your own emotions and to notice as well and to manage how those emotions affect you and affect us around you in positive or negative ways.

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What people don't know is that emotions are molecules that carry information that affect the functioning of their cells their emotions.  Emotional Intelligence, will affect your biology just as your thoughts.  So, emotional intelligence leadership, is important, because if you don't have, emotional intelligence self awareness, you are not able to relate with the world around you or with others.

You're not able to read the social cues.  Emotional intelligence leadership, also empowers you to take control back of your life.  You're no longer coming from a victim place, you're no longer pointing fingers, because that person did this to me.  Emotional intelligence leadership,  is about understanding how you're managing the emotions that you're experiencing.

Emotional Intelligence to become Limitless
Emotional Intelligence leadership to become Limitless

According to Ayurveda the emotions that are not expressed or digested properly, gets buried in your tissues and fascia and will affect your physical well-being.  So over 15 years of teaching, Adri Kyser yoga,  and wellness, I have had students who cried after releasing these emotions that were buried in their tissues.

We hold anger in our liver,  grief is in our chest and lungs.

The other thing I like about, emotional intelligence leadership,  is it gives you the opportunity to take your power back.  So if someone is making you angry,  then you can ask yourself,  why am I choosing to be angry about this?

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Then you can move to asking yourself, what is triggering this emotion within me?

You can take your power back, by not letting people trigger you. The other part about triggers is recognizing what part within you is getting triggered.  Where the hurt coming from, because if you come and tell me Adri you are not a good rocket scientist, I wouldn't get triggered.

You can only be triggered by limited beliefs. Limiting beliefs keep you limited not, limitless.

If somebody right now tells me either you're a horrible coach or you're a bad yoga teacher. It will probably trigger me because it could be true.

If there's a trigger still around, that means there's still a part of me that's not healed. If you are still being triggered, you've gotta rub it out.  Figure out what is making you angry? What is this anger telling me?  Using, emotional intelligence leadership, skills and having the responsibility and the maturity and the tools necessary to go deeper and figure it out. It’s not saying that, Adri Kyser yoga, never gets angry.

We have to feel our emotions in order to process them, that's emotional intelligence leadership.  In order to release them and in order to learn the lessons that they want to teach us, so the next time your reaction may be milder.

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How do you go from limited to, limitless with, Emotional Intelligence Leadership

If you're operating with, limited mindsets, then you are going to be limited. I like to start with the physical body, because that's where you're going to start seeing the fastest results.  When you feel safe and secure, when you are comfortable in your own skin, then you're going to be able to go deeper into the other layers.

So to become, limitless,  it's recognizing where your self-imposed limitations are.  We can learn to fly and soar in our personal relationships, in our growth.  The limits that we have, oftentimes come from self-imposed limitations or limits that other people have put on us. When it comes to living a, limitless, life it is working in your mindset and working on your, emotional intelligence leadership.

It's really about becoming aware.  Awareness is key.  Thoughts and emotions you're experiencing on a regular basis it is important to be aware.  Grab a journal and start the practice where you write down the thoughts and emotions you're having on a regular basis. Once a week or once a month review what you're writing.

You're going to see patterns.  You're going to say “oh my gosh look how many times I thought about this and that.”

Emotional intelligence leadership, is key. You cannot change something you don't know.  That it's like being in a dark room that's dirty and messy; but because the lights are out, you don't see the the mess or the dirt until you turn the lights on.

I created a workbook that I'm happy to offer to your podcast listeners.  It’s free.  It's simple, but it gives you some exercises and things that you can implement right away for you to become aware and notice some of your limiting beliefs that run in the background.

So with this workbook can take you from limited to, limitless.  I give you the tools to become aware of your limiting beliefs.  It allows you to understand that the universe is unlimited and the universe is abundant.

How can our listeners get a copy of your workbook.

My website is www.adrikaiser. They can also go to adrikeiser.com/free-gifts

Conclusion 

If you decide to step out of your comfort zone and if you're willing to work on yourself and use your, emotional intelligence leadership, and you're willing to try something new.   You can find new levels of strength, confidence, comfort or success that you never thought possible.  So push yourself, because if you stay in your comfort zone, you're never going to excel at anything.

I invite you to subscribe to the Transform your mind podcast YouTube channel to watch this interview live.

Additional Resources 

https://myhelps.us/how-does-emotional-intelligence-affect-your-success/

https://globalleadershipfoundation.com/geit/eitest.html

 

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving