The bible promises in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” That means that every challenge, trauma, disappointment, in life, works together, for your good.
In “Out of the Snares” the book, I introduce my book with these words:
The greatest gift we can give others is hope. Somewhere out there someone is going through a storm of great magnitude; the pain is so great that they are considering suicide.
The purpose of this book “Out of the Snares,” is to give such a person, Hope. Hope that God promises “all things, in life, work together, for your good.”
Hope, that like the caterpillar that goes through the darkness before turning into a butterfly, your storm is designed to make you stronger, to cook you into a diamond so that God can use you to encourage others.
The darkness in life is meant to show you the way
As you come out of darkness and into God's light, you become self-sufficient and proactive instead of reactive. Think about it. Just as the caterpillar does not know, when he is a caterpillar he will ultimately become a butterfly; when you are in your darkness, you don't believe this you will ever see the light. “Out of the Snares” is written to remind you that the darkest part of the night is just before dawn. Joy does indeed come in the morning.
You have to walk by, faith. Faith, is defined as “the ability to trust the outcome of a thing even though you can't see it.” I am the evidence. God has brought me from a mighty long way. I have achieved every goal that I set for myself and I am working on the next goal right now. Every event in my life, worked together, for my good.
In this book “Out of the Snares” I share with you, my readers, the principles of the Bible and the Universal Laws or Truths that I stood on to win. Order your copy today.http://myhelps.us/book-order/
Events in life work for your good Joseph's story
The principle of God working all things together for good is well illustrated in the Old Testament account of Joseph’s life. Early in Joseph’s life, Joseph’s jealous brothers sold him into slavery. In Egypt, Joseph rises to a position of responsibility. Then, he is unjustly imprisoned and forgotten about by his friends. God gifts him the ability to interpret dreams, and through that ability Joseph is once again raised to a place of honor and power. When drought forces Joseph’s brothers to seek food elsewhere, they travel to Egypt and encounter Joseph, who eventually saves them from starvation and grants them a livelihood in his new land.
Throughout his life, Joseph trusted God no matter his good or bad circumstances. Joseph experienced plenty of bad things: kidnapping, slavery, false accusations, wrongful imprisonment, rejection, and famine. But in the end God brought things to a wonderful, life-affirming conclusion. God blessed Joseph’s entire family through those painful circumstances and through Joseph’s faith. (You can read about Joseph’s life beginning in Genesis 37.)
Romans 8:28 is a promise for believers. Real believers. Those who are living for Christ. Not those who claim to believe in God but are living like the devil.
This verse says to those who love God and are doing their best to obey his commands, “Even though bad/sad/evil/wicked things will happen to you, in life, God will use them to, work together, for your good, both, in your life, and in the world.”
One of the worst, negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of, being stuck; defined as moving forward or going back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you, get unstuck?
Our topic today is How to, Get Unstuck. This is a, life coaching, session with, coach Myrna
Transform your Mind Stitcher
Being stuck, is a place of no personal power
https://youtu.be/w4Qxq23FzPQ
What it feels like to be stuck
A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was, stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free, life coaching, to, get unstuck.
She was in an, abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. In order to, get unstuck, she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister's home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister's home, because she didn't have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her, abusive relationship!
How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck, is when the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation.
It could be an intolerable boss.
It could be a demeaning job.
How do you make the decision to, get unstuck?
How do you find the strength to want something better?
How did I coach this situation?
This is the major benefit of, life coaching, the ability of the, life coach, to see the frame.
You see you can't see the frame when you are the picture!
I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her, abusive relationship. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing. It was, stuck, in repeat.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister's lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn't cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
.
After we got past the, negative emotions, we were then able to plan for the future to , get unstuck.
You can't plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in, negative energy, and self-pity of, being stuck.
I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to, get unstuck.
1: Hope and Faith are important to getting unstuck
Faith, that God can make a way out of no way.
Faith, that even though you can't see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.
The message of, faith, in this story is that you can't think that God intended for you to live in an, abusive relationship, being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley, get unstuck, and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.
Once you find that, positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.
My coachee got the job we are moving in the direction to, get unstuck.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don't let him convince you that you are, stuck.
2: Another way to get unstuck is to move the energy around.
The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have, stuck, energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don't feel like doing until you feel like doing it!
Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.
You have to get over disappointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don't let tragedy destroy you and keep you, stuck.
Don't stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can't take big steps Automatic negative thoughts don't take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.
Similarly, being stuck, on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.
It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.
It is important to, get unstuck, remove , negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.
3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck
What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a, life coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.
One way to do this is to memorize and recite the, serenity prayer, several times per day
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can't coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.
4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can't or won't move right now.
I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!
So for example if you are, stuck, in order to, get unstuck, you have to become aware of your thoughts. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn't know any better.
If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn't know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.
This is a simple example but it works to, get unstuck. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.
Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.
5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself
Come back to the problem later
Write out options and solutions
Write out the worrying situation
Write what you can do about it
Write what you cannot control about it.
6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.
The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be, stuck, but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.
Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to, get unstuck, think differently, and you will feel differently.
Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.
Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.
Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.
Some of you are, stuck, because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.
As Neapolitan Hill said
As a man thinking so is he.
Shakespeare puts it another way
“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”
7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself
You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances
Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.
You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.
What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?
I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.
We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.
Use your negative energy to get unstuck
Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can't know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!
She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.
She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!
To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
How do you win at the, game of life? Today I am going to teach on How to be a Winner!!
Most of us were glued to the television for the Olympic games to see the athletes try to win Gold. But how do these same athletes win, the game of life.
Each and every one of these athletes came to win Gold!
Did you see the interview with Shakur Stevenson? This interview and the race where the Bahamian girl threw herself across the finish line to take the gold from Alison Felix were my most inspiring moments of the Olympics. In the interview with Shakur the NBC reporter asked him how he felt about winning a silver medal? The interview was going good until this question and then Shakur decided not to fake it anymore. He broke down crying saying
“I hate to loose, I wanted to win. The Silver medal is terrible.”
This is our first lesson on “Winning at the, Game of Life.”
Never Settle for Second Best!
In our Podcast today we are going to look::
* How to Be a Winner
* How to Think like a Winner
* How to Act like a Winner
We are going to look at winners like Russel Wilson of the Seattle Seahawks.
We are going to look at Mike Tyson and Buster Douglas.
We are going to look at Steve Jobs.
Show notes:
Inspiration story and tip of the week.
Winning at the, Game of Life, some examples.
Acceleration – How God and a Coach can “Accelerate” You
To become a winner you need to be self motivated and need the help of a Life Coach.
Someone to push you when you lack motivation, someone to keep you accountable, someone to help you with the game plan.
The enemy keeps you busy with trivial pursuits to keep you from achieving your goals and purpose.
Here are 3 Principles to Winning at the Game of Life:
1> Physiologically – Is your body in a peak state? Are you prepared physically?
2> Psychologically – Do you have the mental capacity to win? Do you believe you can?
3> Soulfully – Do you believe it is your purpose? Have you tapped into the wisdom of your soul?
For the next 30 days, I will give FREE copies of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” Just pay for shipping
“Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” is jammed packed with stories of my victories and how
“I won at, the game of Life.”
*From Escaping Poverty and child abuse in my native country,
*to winning as a business person as the top female Limousine operator in Toronto, Canada,
*to winning my USA citizenship,
*to winning twin girls by adoption,
*to winning in Love and relationships!!
Lots and Lots of victories!!.
So download your copy now by clicking the Amazon link below:
You can motivate yourself with the 3 P's Patience Persistence and Positivity. Learn, how to motivate yourself, with the power of, positive thinking.
Introduction to Positive Thinking
Synopsis of, Patience, Let's say you are stranded in the woods. It is dark and it is cold. You need to make a fire to stay warm and to cook anything you can catch. You find a dry stick and a hollow branch and you set about rubbing the stick and the branch together feverishly. You keep this up, rubbing and blowing patiently hoping to create a spark that could be nursed into a fire. You keep rubbing, and blowing. You have all day and all night….. you have, positive thinking, because if you don't you will surely freeze to death.
Persistence, – When you get tired you take a short break and then you get back to work. You tell yourself, “The fire will start”.
Positivity, You believe the fire will start. You keep your, positivity, by telling yourself “I will have fire, I will stay warm, I will have food to cook and eat”. You let none of the negative thoughts that pop into your head linger, you send them back immediately. Negative thoughts such as, you don't know how to a make fire, you are not a cave man, maybe the bush is wet and it will not light, you will die of hunger and cold because no one will find you.
No.. as soon as any of these thoughts come into your mind, you reject them and send them back!. You keep rubbing and blowing with increased vigor. You tell yourself “I shall live and not die”.
I use this vision to encourage myself when I am working hard and not seeing results. I need, patience, to keep on working hard knowing that one day I will succeed. I need, persistence, to do it every day and, positivity, to believe that I will succeed one day.
You can do the same. Find an inspirational story and use it as your map. Some real life examples are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone. Arnold built his empire and muscles,
One bicep at a time.
Arnold had the, patience, and the, persistence, to stick with his dream of becoming a world champion and playing the part of Hercules in the United States of America. His, Patience, Persistence, and, Positivity, assured him success.
Sylvester Stallone had to sell his dog for $50.00 because he was starving; but he had, patience, to wait until someone offered him the starring role for the script for Rocky, Persistence, to keep pedaling it to over 1500 studios in New York and the belief and, positivity, that he will succeed…… and he did.
You write a to-do list… but then you don’t follow through.
And this happens again and again and again. Seriously, what’s the problem?
You are not, motivated, So how do you, motivate, yourself?
Why are we so good at thinking of what to do; but so terrible at actually, motivate yourself, to actually doing those things?
Procrastination is a mood-management technique, albeit (like eating or taking drugs) a shortsighted one. But we’re most prone to it when we think it will actually help… Well, far and away the most procrastination occurred among the bad-mood students who believed their mood could be changed and who had access to fun distractions. Motivate, yourself so you can leave procrastination in the dust.
How to use, Patience, to, Motivate, Yourself
Meryl Streep on, Patience:
I no longer have, patience, for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I, motivate, myself by have a low threshold for time wasters. I have no, patience, for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate.
I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no, patience, for anyone who does not deserve my, patience.”
The Power of Positive Thinking
The most famous work of Dr. Emoto was published in 1999 and is called ‘Messages from Water,’ which has sold millions of copies all over the world. In the book, Dr. Emoto explains in detail that what we say, feel, and what we listen to has an effect on water. The research clearly shows how the power of, positivity, can transform anything in our physical reality. He uses water as an example. Since human beings are made up primarily of water (60-75% depending on the source), water has a direct effect on us.
Dr. Emoto placed rice into three glass beakers and then fills the beakers with enough water to submerge the rice. To the first beaker, he states the phrase (in Japanese): “Thank you,” “You’re an idiot” to the second, and ignores the third.
A month later, the rice that was thanked fermented and gave a pleasant smell. The rice that was affronted turned black. Finally, the rice that was ignored began to rot. These depictions of the rice are clear in the video of the experiment.
In the end, Dr. Emoto is pictured explaining that how we treat children is especially important. According to Emoto, we should take special care in how we interact with them and ensure that attention is given. He explained that indifference does the greatest amount of harm, as demonstrated by the third beaker of rice in the video. It’s amazing how the jar with positive words was still white and fresh, when in our reality we would at least believe that it would definitely start to go bad. Amazing! That’s the power of, positivity, at work.
What does it take to be happy? We live in a culture where, happiness, is largely based on external forces – like what we get and what we achieve. And when our life conditions don’t match our expectations, we experience pain and fear, we suffer. But imagine what it would feel like to create a constant sense of inner peace and freedom, and live each day in a beautiful state of, happiness.
Listen to the podcast here:
What’s preventing you from, happiness, and living a life of peace and joy?
Do you believe that others make you happy or are responsible for your, happiness? I used to think so. Until I realized that the definition of, happiness, is true. Happiness, is moving in the direction of your goals and dreams. So because my, happiness, comes from my thoughts and actions, I take away the responsibility of my spouse, friends, co-workers being responsible for my, happiness.
I encourage you to Discover what’s holding you back from being happy. Tap into finding inner peace through meditation and mindfulness that you can use to start living in the, present moment. Happiness, is only found in the present moment. Not in the future or the past. This is the time to sit with your feelings of, unhappiness, pain and regret and maybe find the lesson in them.
Once you sit with pain and, unhappiness, and not try to mask it with drugs, food or any of the things you do to not feel your pain, you can step into the unknown, and allow life to unfold in the beautiful way it is meant to.
https://myhelps.us/how-to-find-happiness-in-2017/
How to be Happy in life, in the present moment
One of the ways I live in the, present moment, is I become aware of the little things that is taking away my, happiness. The small irritations like my husband not answering the phone when I call or my kids leaving the house and saying where they are going.
Learn, how to be happy in life, in the, present moment. No one is responsible for your, happiness. If you live in the present moment then the hurts from the past can't bother you. I remember when Jennifer Gardner was being interviewed about the betrayal of Ben Aflac. He had cheated on her and they were separated and there was a big scandal. Jennifer tried to stay in the, present moment, and be thankful for her 4 kids. She also said that Ben was not responsible for her, happiness. She alone is responsible for her, happiness.
Great lesson because when we give our power away, people will always trample on us. Life gives sand life takes away. The trick to, happiness, is not to be attached to the outcome.
How to be happy in life, by relaxing and releasing
When I feel the, unhappiness, or irritation coming on me, I practice R&R relax and release. When you feel that unwanted frustration you relax breathe deeply and release blow it out. Breathe deeply and blow it out through your mouth.
I learnt this in therapy. When a situation makes you, unhappy, and you don't attend to the hurt or pain. We stuff it down. We are not aware of what we are doing but we are hard wired to move away from pain and move towards pleasure, so when we feel pain or, unhappiness, we run from it.
So we self medicate with drugs, alcohol, food, sex, or whatever is around. In that way, we bury the pain. Whenever something is in the vicinity of this pain, we feel this tension in our gut because that is where we stored this pain. We begin to be, unhappy and we are not even sure why so we again stuff it down with drugs, alcohol, food and sex. We never want to feel.
To stop this cycle. Whenever you feel this feeling. Don't try to stuff down instead relax into it. Feel the pain, sit with it. Then breathe. Breathe to relax into it and then breathe it out. Try it next time some external situation makes you, unhappy.
In the, pursuit of happiness, material things such as money, a big house, fame, or fancy cars do not make us happy. Instead we need to first love and accept ourselves to be happy. Money or fame magnifies our, unhappiness, because now you are not sure who your friends are and you become obsessed about keeping this wealth.
How to be happy in life, with less is learning to find happiness in relationships, with family, with health, with being alive.
Daily habits to find, happiness
Smile. You tend to smile when you're happy. …
Exercise. Exercise isn't just for your body, it is for the mind. It releases endorphins for, happiness.
Get plenty of sleep, serotonin, the feel good hormone is released during sleep. That is why we are bitchy and, unhappy, with lack of sleep.
Eat with the, pursuit of happiness, in mind. …
Be grateful. Gratitude is the forerunner to, happiness. You can't be, unhappy, if you are feeling, gratitude
Give a compliment – giving a compliment makes other happy and that is turn makes you happy. Happiness, is serving others.
Breathe deeply. – breathing deeply releases tension in our muscles and relaxes the body.
Acknowledge the unhappy moments – don't try to stuff them down or ignore them. They are already here. Acknowledge them and let them know you see them and that this too shall pass. You will be able to look back at these moments and laugh one day.
