In this podcast episode, Myrna Young interviews J.R Martinez, a burn survivor and New York Times bestselling author. J.R shares his inspiring story of resilience and strength, from, overcoming adversity, as a child to surviving a tragic accident in the military. He discusses the importance of gratitude, vulnerability, and embracing one's true identity. J.R's motto, “life is what you make it,” serves as a powerful reminder that we have the ability to adapt and, overcome adversity.
Adversity is an inescapable part of life, but it is how we, overcome adversity, that shapes our future. J.R. Martinez's remarkable journey from a devastating injury to a triumphant victory on “Dancing with the Stars” is a testament to human resilience. In this thought leadership article, we'll explore the inspiring conversation between life coach Myrna Young and J.R. Martinez, who lives his life leading with heart, light, and an indomitable spirit.
Gratitude and focusing on the micro aspects of life can transform one’s perspective and foster resilience, overcoming adversity.
Embracing vulnerability allows for personal growth and is an essential component for triumphing in unknown territories.
Seeking out and stepping through the metaphorical ‘cracked doors’ of opportunity can lead to unanticipated, life-changing paths.
Overcoming Adversity: The Foundations of Resilience
Resilience is not an innate attribute one is born with; it is a trait that is meticulously developed over time through life experiences. J.R. Martinez's early years were marked by frequent relocation and witnessing domestic abuse, which laid the foundational stones of his resilient character. His reflections with Myrna emphasize the vital role those years played in equipping him to face the dire circumstances he later encountered in Iraq. His message is clear: our past forms the crux of our survival instinct.
“…you can't start my story at the age of 19… you're dismissing all of the things that have shaped me…”J.R. Martinez
Martinez underscores the necessity of practicing resilience through exercises in adaptability and mental fortitude. This early life training taught him to value what he had over what he desired, a lesson bestowed upon him by his mother's transparency regarding their financial constraints. It is these assets of character, woven over the fabric of 19 years, that empowered Martinez to persevere through the life-altering injuries he sustained.
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Vulnerability: The Power in ‘Not Knowing' in Overcoming Adversity
The conversation delves into the concept of vulnerability, particularly in relation to growth and success. Martinez's time on “Dancing with the Stars” exemplifies vulnerability, as he had to concede the leading role to his professional dance partner and trust in her expertise. It's a potent metaphor for life – sometimes one must follow to find a new path forward.
“You have to be vulnerable… You also have to be willing to be vulnerable on the show.” J.R. Martinez
This vulnerability also extends to interpersonal dynamics. By willingly entering the room of a fellow burn victim, bearing the still-fresh scars of his own injury, Martinez opened a space for mutual healing. Surrendering to the unknown prospects life presents – be it recovery, a dance competition, or a new career – requires one to embrace vulnerability. It is through this exposure that J.R. Martinez was able to reclaim his identity and, overcoming adversity, by showing the world that he is not defined by his scars.
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Overcoming Adversity: Doors of Opportunity
J.R. Martinez speaks of the ‘cracked doors' – opportunities that present themselves, sometimes in the most unexpected ways. These doors beckon us to step into the unknown, to lean into discomfort and trust that it will lead to growth and transformation. He recounts how being open to such prospects led him from being an actor on “All My Children” to a winner of “Dancing with the Stars.”
“…I've seen enough cracked doors, a little bit of light, and I've gone over there…” J.R. Martinez
This theme conveys the importance of seizing opportunities, even when they diverge from our preconceived notions or original plans. Martinez’s willingness to walk through these openings has allowed him to redefine success and, overcome adversity, proving that life can flourish after tragedy.
The key points from J.R. Martinez's dialogue issue a clair call to everyone gritting their teeth and, overcoming adversity. The mapping of his life showcases gratitude, vulnerability, and the courage to chase the flickers of light that promise a continuation of journey and discovery. His story reveals that triumph can emerge from the ashes of despair when one leads with an open heart.
Martinez's narrative, full of wisdom and light, offers profound insights. While not everyone will dance on national television or write a bestselling memoir, their everyday courage, manifested through gratitude, open-mindedness, and a willingness to seize unexpected opportunities, is a dance of triumph in its own right. Whether facing personal battles or global pandemics, it is these human stories that echo the enduring message: Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain!
Tom Brady, says, the key to success lies in, goal setting, and taking massive action towards the attainment of these goals. Tom says a hundred years of psychological research has taught us that, setting strong goals, matter, if you want to improve your chances of succeeding.
As Millennials graduate from high school, graduate from college, or get engaged to be married, a formula on, How to Set Strong Goals, should be prominent their minds.
In each stage of life, we should have, short term goals, and, long-term goals. Short term goals are goals you would like to achieve within the year and, long-term goals, are goals you would like to achieve in let’s say 10 years.
So, if we were to ask a young lady what her goals after graduation are from college, her short-term goals, would probably be either get a job and start supporting herself or enroll in a graduate program.
Today I want to teach on, goal setting, not just having a mediocre goal but a strong goal, set SMART goals.
I always like to use stories as an illustration so today I want to use, Tom Brady, goal setting as a demonstration of how to, set SMART goals
How to Set Strong Goals like a Champion: Tom Brady
Tom Brady, says, the key to success lies in, goal setting, and taking massive action towards the attainment of these goals. Tom says a hundred years of psychological research has taught us that, setting strong goals, matter, if you want to improve your chances of succeeding.
A, strong goal, is a map to your destination. It is like a seed!
Plant, strong goals, in your mind and it will be the most important decision you make in your life. Then Care of your planted seed every day.
By the mid-2000s, Tom Brady, was the undisputed king of the gridiron. In 2002 he became the youngest quarterback in the history of the National Football League, NFL, to lead his team to a, Super Bowl, victory. Two years later, in 2004, he proved the magic was still strong when he led the New England Patriots to their second, Super Bowl, title in three years.
In addition, Tom Brady, was named the Super Bowl's Most Valuable Player (MVP) in 2002 and 2004. The dimpled, clean-cut quarterback had reached career heights that most veteran football players envied, and he had done it all before he was thirty years old; But, Tom Brady, ONCE HAD SIMPLE DREAMS
In the pride-swallowing days at the University of Michigan, when he was constantly trying to prove that he deserved to start, Brady used to sit up at night with his good friend Aaron Shea and talk about what they'd do when they made it big. Shea, a tight end for the Wolverines, used to rattle off the typical 20-year-old dream purchases. He wanted a Hummer and a Ferrari. Then Shea would ask what Brady wanted.
“‘If I hit it real big,'” Shea recalls, Tom Brady, telling him, “‘I want to be able to wake up, put a pair of socks on, and at the end of the day, I throw them away.'
“I'm like, ‘That's all you want?' And he goes, ‘Yeah, that's what I want. I love new socks!'” But somewhere along the line, he got big dreams. Dreams of being the best!
Setting the goal to be the greatest to play the sport
Tom Brady, was so intent on winning and becoming the very best in history to play his position, that after the Patriot's lost to the Broncos in the AFC championship game in 2016, he had a countdown clock installed in his home gym. I am sure because he wanted to be the undisputed champion and Peyton Manning had won, this round! Competition brings out the best in us.
Throughout the year the countdown clock served as his constant reminder of his goal. A countdown clock says to his, subconscious mind. I will achieve this goal, it is mine, it’s just a matter of time so I am counting down!
The world was the witness at, Super Bowl 51, of, Tom Brady, manifesting of this goal. Down by 25 points at the half, Tom Brady, and the New England Patriots came back to win the game in overtime making Brady the best ever at the game!
With his mother in attendance at the NRG Stadium in Houston and millions of fans watching, Tom Brady, did not disappoint. In a thrilling game, the first that went into overtime in, NFL, history, Brady led the Patriots to a 34-28 victory over the Atlanta Falcons. With this historic win, Brady became the first quarterback in, NFL, history to take home five, Super Bowl rings.
He surpassed quarterbacks Joe Montana, one of his idols, and Terry Bradshaw, who both have four Super Bowl, wins. He also was awarded his fourth Super Bowl MVP for leading a 25-point comeback and throwing a Super Bowl-record 466 passing yards. Super Bowl LI was Brady's seventh championship, which is also an NFL record for the most Super Bowls played.
Brady failed in his bid to become the best and most decorated quarterback in history when he lost to the Eagles in Super bowl 52; but how many of you know that failure is not final.
He took his talents to the, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and in his first season with the Buccaneers, was a major success, as Tampa Bay won 11 games and earned a playoff spot. In the postseason Brady led his team to three straight road victories to advance to the, Super Bowl. There the, Buccaneers,’ standout defense and Brady’s solid play led Tampa Bay to a decisive victory over the Kansas City Chiefs to capture the team’s second (and Brady’s seventh) championship. Brady’s set the, strong goal, to the greatest to ever play the game and he succeeded because when you have a goal and you don’t give up on it, you always win that is why
Coach Lombardi advise is “Never, Never give up, Never ever Quit because Quitters never win”
SMART Goals, have a powerful supernatural energy attached to them!
They activate the subconscious to go to work for you.
In the book “As a man thinketh” by James Allen, Allen attaches the energy of thought to goals.
Those who have no central purpose or goals in their life fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubles, and self-pitying’s, all of which are indications of weakness, which lead, just as surely as deliberately planned sins, to failure, unhappiness, and loss; for weakness cannot persist in a power evolving universe.
A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose or goal in his heart and set out to accomplish it. He should make this goal the centralizing point of his thoughts. It may take the form of a spiritual ideal, or it may be a worldly object, according to his nature at the time being but whichever it is, he should steadily focus his thought-forces upon the object, which he has set before him.
He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and should devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings. This is the royal road to self-control and true concentration of thought. Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his goal, the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success, and this will form a new starting-point for future power and triumph.
What this means is if your only goal as you graduate from college is to get a job you will find that when you get to your second or third act in life that you may have achieved financial success, but you would have no fulfillment. Fulfillment is only achieved when you are on purpose. On the other hand, if you set goals either for spiritual attainment, personal accomplishment, or for contribution even when you fail and you most likely will, you will be like, Tom Brady, and know that given time, success will be yours.
James Allen, goes on to say that having conceived of his purpose, a man should mentally mark out a straight pathway to its achievement, looking neither to the right nor the left. Doubts and fears should be rigorously excluded; they are disintegrating elements, which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, or useless.
Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplished anything, and never can. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease when doubt and fear creep in.
Amy's story
After losing both her legs at age 19 as a result of bacterial meningitis, Amy Purdy survived to lead a life of extraordinary accomplishments. Amy not only survived losing her legs but at one time all her organs were failing, and she actually died. She tells that when she died, two spirits on the other side offered her a choice of staying dead or coming back to life and she shouted No, I don’t want to die!!
She chose life the same way she chose not to be a disabled person who lives an uninspiring life. She chose to set the goal of snowboarding again. She tells the story of how she visualized in detail her achieving this goal. Amy went on to become a Paralympic bronze medalist in snowboarding, and a finalist on “Dancing with the Stars”. Pick up a copy of her book “On My Own Two Feet: From Losing My Legs to Learning the Dance of Life.” To read about her incredible story
So today, I would like to teach you, How to set strong goals. Goals that make you want to get up in the morning. Goals that motivate and inspire you to action.
Here are 6 steps to setting and accomplishing strong goals
How to Set Strong Goals Step # 1 Start with a road-map
He who doesn't have a map gets lost.
If you don't know where you are going, then it doesn't matter where you end up.
Begin with the end in mind
Here are a few examples of strong goals
• I want to have $500,000 in my bank account at the age of 65, so as not to be a burden to my kids.
• I want to leave a legacy and an inheritance for my children and my children’s children.
• I want to have 3 children, a husband, a good job and own my own home by the time I am 35 years old.
Knowing where you are going allows you to map the route to your destination.
The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts, the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.
Knowing your why will get you through the tough times.
S- is for specific for example I want to have $500,000 in the bank
M- is for
A – It must be achievable
R – it must be realistic to some degree
T – It must be timely. A goal is just a dream without a date on it. For example, I want to have $500,000 in the back by the time I am 65 years old.
Your why, so I would not be a burden to my kids. Your Why could be I don’t want to depend on social security.
Step 3: Plan your route
What do you plan to do in exchange for $500,000 in the bank?
How will you attract this money?
Maybe you need to understand the principles or laws on attracting money. Understand how the law of attraction works. Maybe you have an investment strategy, or you plan to become an entrepreneur and sell something.
You can’t grow anything you can’t measure
Borrow to invest. Get your credit score in shape and borrow to invest in Real Estate which is one of the surest ways to build wealth. I was listening to the audio book “Self-Made” a few months back and the author said don’t buy shoes, buy buildings! Great advice.
Goal Step 5: Be prepared for the twists and turns in the road
What skills do you need to acquire to achieve this goal?
What contacts do you need?
What additional knowledge do you need?
What resources do you need to accomplish this goal?
Remember that just because you set a goal and a destination don’t expect the weather will cooperate and the sky will be sunny for the entire trip.
No. Expect that there will be circumstances beyond your control that will delay you, so build in a buffer. Add a few years to your deadline.
In the journey to your goal, you will experience setbacks. A job loss, a divorce, health issues etc. Don’t let the twists and turns in the road, derail you from your goals.
I heard a story of a mother of two who was laid off and without income. She decided to start selling the things in her home on eBay to pay the bills. She then started a meet up group for other eBay sellers to learn the business. She got information for sourcing discount items from wholesalers to sell on eBay. Obviously, her household items could only get her so far!
At one of these meetup meetings, she met an executive from eBay who encouraged her to become a certified ambassador for eBay. That 10Xd her business. Today she has income of over one million dollars annually from eBay sales.
The lesson, setbacks can push you in the direction of your purpose so, change the way you look at failure.
Use your imagination to visualize the things you want to accomplish
Visualize in color with all the details!
The goal of having $500,000 in the bank at 65 years old. Visualize the money in the bank. What do you look like at 65 years old? Who are you with? Where are you living?
What would you do with the money? See the places you would travel to. Dr Joe Vitalie says to nebulize your goals that means to see you already accomplishing them.
So, in conclusion, set strong goals, set SMART goals. Write them down and refer back to them often. And the Law of Attraction will do the rest. I want to leave you with this quote
Only by much searching and mining, are gold and diamonds obtained, man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul; he is the maker of his character, the molder of his life, and the builder of his destiny.
So, live your life on purpose. Set goals for achievement, for contribution for fun and play and then go do it!
