Sabrena Jay. Songowa discuss her new book, “David's Deception.” and opens up about her journey from a tumultuous six-year relationship to, self love and acceptance, overcoming fears and rediscovering herself. Despite the painful breakup and her struggle with suicidal thoughts, she regained her strength, earned multiple degrees, and built a fulfilling life. The conversation delves into childhood wounds, self-worth, and the power of intention. This episode offers inspiration for anyone facing adversity, showcasing how self-love and perseverance can transform lives.
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Key Takeaways:
The Power of Self-Deception: Understanding how self-deception perpetuates unhealthy relationships.
Overcoming Fear: Recognizing the role fear plays in keeping us stuck and how to break free.
Embracing Self-Care: The importance of self-care and how it contributes to self-worth and attracting healthy relationships.
Understanding Self-Deception in Relationships
In the engaging conversation between Myrna Young and Sabrena Songowa, one of the standout revelations is the concept of self-deception within relationships on her journey to, self love and acceptance.
Sabrena shares, “Did he deceive me or did I deceive myself?”
This introspective question illustrates a pivotal moment in her, self love and acceptance, journey where she realized that much of the deception in her relationship with David stemmed from her own refusal to see the truth.
When Sabrena started her relationship with David at 17, she was already grappling with low self-esteem. This lack of self-worth made her overlook glaring red flags: “Although he definitely had red flags… the red flags are glaring. I didn't see it, or maybe I pretended not to see it.” By admitting that her desperation led her to cling to a relationship that was clearly unhealthy, Sabrena invites us to reflect on our own lives. How often do we ignore the obvious because we’re afraid of what acknowledging it might mean?
The broader implication here is that true self-awareness can help us break the cycle of unhealthy relationships. Instead of waiting for others to validate us, we need to cultivate a strong sense of self and trust our instincts. Sabrena’s story underscores the vital importance of knowing and valuing ourselves enough to walk away from what doesn’t serve us.
The Journey to Self Love and Acceptance: Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs
Fear is a common thread woven through Sabrena's narrative, serving as a powerful force that kept her anchored in a relationship that brought more harm than good.
She explains, “I was afraid. I was afraid that, well, if I let go of this, then what do I have?”
Fear can make the most unhealthy situations seem safer than the unknown. In Sabrena's case, her fear was compounded by feelings of unworthiness, magnified by societal and personal expectations. She clung to the relationship out of fear of being alone and a belief that no one else would want her:
“No one else is going to want me with three kids. At 22, my life is ruined beyond repair.”
Addressing this fear, Myrna adds, “You're living unconsciously and you're just creating the same thing over and over again.” It's this unconscious living that often perpetuates the cycle of fear and poor decision-making. To break free, it’s crucial to recognize and confront these fears head-on.
For Sabrena, getting past her fears meant taking significant steps towards personal development. This included going back to school, despite immense challenges, and actively working on improving her self-worth. By doing this, she started to dismantle the fears that had kept her captive.
The broader implication is that by confronting our fears and challenging our limiting beliefs, we can open the door to true freedom and growth. It’s not easy, but as Sabrina’s journey illustrates, it’s entirely possible.
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Embracing Self-Care and Building Self-Worth
One of the most inspiring aspects of Sabrena's transformation was her commitment to self-care and self-improvement. She talks about her “self-care season” – a dedicated period where she invested in herself, spending time alone, understanding her likes and dislikes, and working on her self-esteem. “I even took myself on vacation… to show myself that I love and value me.”
This period of introspection and self-care was crucial in helping her rebuild her life after her tumultuous relationship with David. She realized that she couldn't expect someone else to provide her with the validation she craved; it had to come from within. Myrna emphatically reinforces this,
“You have to love yourself, because if you don't love yourself, you can't give away what you don't have.”
The lesson here is clear: self-care isn't just about pampering yourself; it’s about doing the deep, often uncomfortable work of understanding who you are and creating a life that reflects the best version of yourself. This internal work is what ultimately allows you to attract and maintain healthy relationships.
Sabrena’s emphasis on building self-worth through self-care resonates deeply. It's a reminder that our relationships with others are a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. If we desire respect, love, and commitment from others, we must first demonstrate those qualities towards ourselves.
Reflecting on Sabrena Songowa's journey offers a profound lesson on the importance of introspection, self-care, and overcoming fear. Her story is a testament to the transformative power of self-love and the importance of breaking free from self-deception and fear. By embracing self-care and building self-worth, we set the stage for healthier, more fulfilling relationships and a more authentic life.
Sabrena’s narrative is a compelling reminder that no matter how dire our circumstances may appear, there’s always a path to empowerment and transformation. This path requires honesty, courage, and a commitment to personal growth, but the rewards are well worth the effort.
