In this podcast episode, I uncover Jesus’ surprising message on fasting. This will blow your mind! In this episode of 5 min Fridays with Life coach Myrna Young, author and self-development coach, I share Jesus’ surprising message on fasting. This message will change the way you think about fasting, and may even inspire you to take start enjoying life.
My foundational scripture for this message today is Mark 2:19: When asked why he or his disciples did not fast like John the Baptist and the Pharisees Jesus replied:
Do wedding guests mourn while celebrating with the groom? Of course not. But someday the groom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast.
The other two parables, which are similar, make the same point. The first one says you don’t put a new patch on an old garment, and the second says you don’t put new wine into an old wineskin.
In the first parable, if you put a new patch on an old garment, when the new patch shrinks due to washing, it will tear away from the older garment, making the tear worse. Similarly, new wine needs a new wineskin because as the new wine expands during the fermentation process, it stretches the wineskin. An old wineskin will burst under the pressure of new wine.
I have been talking a lot on the podcast about, intermittent fasting, but Jesus is talking about fasting by denying yourself food for longer periods of time. Jesus is saying that fasting and mourning go together.
Intermittent fasting, is not traditional fasting. Jesus is saying that when you are celebrating, when all is well, when your groom is with you, when your marriage is doing great, there is no need to fast in fact that is the time to eat because we eat at weddings we eat, drink and be merry.
He is also saying the day will come when (notice the language) he did not say if he said when the groom will be taken away and that is the time for mourning and fasting.
Today I want to change the word fasting out and replace it with feasting. What are you feasting on while your groom is with you, when all is well with your soul? How many people do not live life and have fun when everything is going well in life.
You are in a loving relationship, your groom is still with you, your children are with you, your health is with you, yet you deny yourself the pleasures of life. You work and go home, then one day you will no longer have your groom, you will no longer have your family, you will no longer have your health and that is the time for fasting and mourning; not when you should be celebrating life, when you should be feasting on the fruits of life.
Here are a few Pleasures of life you should be feasting on
1. That first sip of coffee in the morning.
2. Taking a bath.
3. Hearing the right song at the right moment.
4. The sunset.
5. A peaceful place to sit.
6. The smell of an aromatic candle.
7. Clothes fresh out of the dryer.
8. A Hot Fudge Sundae (or equally decadent dessert of your choice).
9. Receiving an unexpected compliment.
10. A hot shower after a long day.
11. Receiving a letter – yes, a handwritten letter – that’s not a bill.
Jesus also responded that we don’t put new wine in old skins because when the new wine ferments it will burst the old skin.
He is also telling us that we need to change our ways change our mindset, renew your mind.
If you try to put new information in an old mindset you are going to have a problem. So, take a look at your fruit. If you don’t have the fruit that you want, then you need to start changing your wineskin, your mindset.
That new mindset could be I am going to live until I die. I am going to start feasting on the abundance this life has to offer, because the day is going come to an end, then I will experience loss and mourning and thus the need for fasting, but not today.
Thanks for tuning into this weeks episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna
CBD capsules, CBD oils, CBD gummies are all wellness products. The reason being is our bodies as humans, we have what is called an endocannabinoid system, so this can basically be viewed as a lock-and-key system where we have receptors in our bodies that then attach to external receptors. This system is actually responsible for contributing to our overall sleep and wake cycle, our mood, our appetite and can really be viewed as an important component in reaching homeostasis, of reaching a balance point in our body.
Introduction CBD capsules and CBD oils
I interview Joseph Sheeley is the Managing Partner of Cured Nutrition. on the Transform your Mind radio and podcast Joseph says he left Corporate Aerospace to build his own space from Lockheed Martin design engineer to Managing Partner of premium, CBD oil, CBD capsules, and hemp products.
I looked at, cannabis, and, CBD pills, and I noticed that when I used it in a very intentional way, I saw the medicinal benefits. I saw myself be able to calm down, to be able to work on my anxiety and I also saw myself be able to be a lot more creative and when I started to discover that those were the truths underlying marijuana.
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As the years progressed I started diving a lot more into what, cannabis, really was and what all the cannabinoids within the plant were and that’s where, CBD Oil, and CBD pills, became a focus. I said okay well there’s this cannabinoid cannabidiol and we’ll dive deep into this; but this cannabinoid is non intoxicating unlike THC and has a wide array of medicinal benefits.
I think that’s a very important statement for right now and for the, cannabis, industry and the path that I ended up taking.
What is the difference between, CBD capsules, and marijuana?
As a respected health and fitness professional, I started to use, cannabis, to help me recover. It also helped me sleep, it helps me calm down. I utilized my relationships with other health professionals and put the right information out there into this world, to educate from the standpoint of “Hey I am someone focused on health and fitness and general wellness and I use cannabinoids or, cannabis.”
That is how Cured Nutrition started. Ordering up, CBD oils, and, CBD pills, and different extracts and creating products at my house. Sending them to community members and saying Hey give this a try. Tell me if it helps you sleep, or calm down. I had hand after hand raised. This gave me the data I needed to expand manufacture of, CBD pills, and products.
Not to say it hasn’t been a difficult process because when we speak about, Cannabis, and we speak about, medical marijuana, it’s not the typical route of starting a business getting a bank account. Certain things that would be viewed as very easy when starting a business is different when you’re in the, cannabis, space. So it’s been quite the roller coaster; but I’m extremely thankful for all the experiences we’ve had as a company.
I know, I live in Fort Myers, Florida and in the last election we voted on, medical Marijuana, for whatever reasons it didn’t get enough votes; but sooner or later it will pass. Medical marijuana, is already legal in some other places like you said Colorado.
What is, CBD oil, and CBD pills?
CBD is a cannabinoid and CBD stands for is cannabidiol. Cannabidiol is one cannabinoid out of over now eighty cannabinoids that have been identified in the, cannabis, plant. Other widely known cannabinoid is tetrahydrocannabinol which is THC. THC is the cannabinoid that is actually intoxicating; but now when we take a step back and we say okay so there’s over 80 cannabinoids in the, cannabis, plant. What we are learning now is we’ve recognized that all of these cannabinoids have therapeutic benefits and when you combine them certain cannabinoids have certain effects for certain areas. Now, CBD oil, and CBD pills, specifically has become so popular because you can actually get CBD without any THC in the product.
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There’s a difference between a THC free product and a product that we call full-spectrum. If the product is called full-spectrum, it means it has all of those cannabinoids that I just discussed found in the product; but at very low concentrations. The reason that, CBD oil, and, CBD capsules, are being mass-produced right now is because the abundance of that cannabinoid. CBD in the, cannabis, plant is really high and it’s a lot easier to extract from the plant than some of the other minor cannabinoids that would live in that other 80 plus cannabinoids.
If we said, cannabis, and I was looking at a tree a tree diagram, a top-down diagram. I would say, cannabis, live at the top and then below, cannabis, which is where we identify where which plant we’re extracting it from would live hemp and marijuana hemp and marijuana are both of the genus, cannabis. They are both, cannabis, but the way that they are differentiated is that the hemp plant is identified as having less than 0.3 percent THC; so it’s very low in what we would call the intoxicating cannabinoid.
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What is Hemp?
Hemp (Cannabis sativa L.) is a plant grown in the northern hemisphere, best known for its thin, somewhat spiky, green leaves (usually around seven that fan out around the end of each stem). It takes approximately three to four months to mature before harvesting. And it is a dioecious plant, which is a decidedly nerdy way of saying that there are both male and female hemp plants. And they need each other for the female to set seed.
Hemp has a wide variety of uses. You can use the whole plant, including the fiber (from its stems), protein (from its seeds), and oils and smokable portions (from the leaves and flowers). Smokable hemp is a new addition to the CBD industry, as the leaves and flowers of the hemp plant are rich in non-psychoactive cannabidiol, a compound which has many therapeutic properties.
Hemp seeds are small with a slightly sweet and nutty flavor and are technically nuts. While the terms are often used interchangeably, hemp “hearts” are hemp seeds that have had their shell removed, so they’re easier to consume. Hemp hearts are round and have a whitish-green hue with a black center.
Hemp is environmentally friendly, too. It grows in a variety of climates and types of soil, which is possible because of its hardiness. Hemp is resistant to drought and damage from UV rays, as well as most pests. It’s happy to grow tightly packed together, which allows it to shade out and out compete most weeds. That means there’s no point in using chemical pesticides on most hemp crops. It’s also a natural substitute for cotton and wood fiber, both of which take a heavy toll on the environment. Hemp has a low lignin content, which allows it to be pulped using fewer chemicals than wood. And a fully mature hemp plant may contain half of its dry weight in seed, which is an impressively high yield.
Hemp as we as we know and have can see has actually been used for a wide array of purposes whether it be, clothing, biofuel actually food, we’ve all seen hemp seed oil or hemp hearts. It has so many different purposes but now we’ve actually bred hemp to have high concentrations of, CBD oil, and very low concentrations of THC.
The hemp plant looks very similar to the, medical marijuana, plant to be able to extract the cannabinoids from it, so then when we look at a, cannabis, plant we would see a plant that’s shorter and has more flowers which are considered the buds. That’s where all the cannabinoids are coming from.
When you look at the marijuana plant, it is basically identified by having greater than 0.3% THC.
It is true that we are extracting, CBD oil, from the marijuana Hemp plant and other cannabinoids from the marijuana plant. That’s what’s going into edibles that’s what’s going in topical, that’s what’s potentially going into vaporizers but it’s regulated and can only be sold in a medical dispensary.
Benefits of CBD
Absolutely, CBD pills, CBD capsules, CBD oils, CBD gummies, are all wellness products. The reason being is our bodies as humans, we have what is called an endocannabinoid system, so this can basically be viewed as a lock-and-key system where we have receptors in our bodies that then attach to external receptors. This system is actually responsible for contributing to our overall sleep and wake cycle, our mood, our appetite and can really be viewed as an important component in reaching homeostasis, of reaching a balance point in our body. From a general health and wellness perspective, a lot of people are starting to be see cannabinoids as a wellness product. CBD pills, specifically are what would be called an adaptogen. It can be used to reduce the body’s stress response and come back to a place of calm.
CBD oil, has properties that are similar to anti-inflammatories, so that being the case anything that you really can talk about that might be caused from Inflammation.
If anyone needs more information check out www.CBD.org
How can we incorporate, CBD capsules, into a healthy lifestyle?
We can incorporate, CBD capsules, into our lifestyle and take them like we take our vitamins every day. The most convenient way is to use what we call a sublingual dropper or a tincture. It comes in a bottle that has a dropper, you shake it up you take the dropper and fill it up with, CBD oil, you put it underneath your tongue and then you hold it for 30 to 60 seconds. Within 10 to 15 maybe 20 minutes, you will feel the calming effects.
But now an even more concentrated way would be to use it in a capsule form called, CBD capsules. If you take CBD in a capsule, CBD pills, you can actually get a lot higher concentration. It goes through your stomach, it’s processed and is delivered directly into your bloodstream.
We also have topical. You also have to ensure when you’re using a topical that it has the correct ingredients to also help with the absorption, so I would say always start with a tincture, then progress to the capsule, CBD pills, and then use the topical for spot treatment.
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At Cured Nutrition we have a progressive line of products which we call our super supplements which include other botanicals and actually functional mushrooms in them as well. So our products have the cannabinoids; but we’ve taken the cannabinoids and we’ve approached our holistic or our clinical herbalist in Boulder Colorado and she ended up developing some products for us that are specifically for focus.
We have CBD capsules, releasing soon for gut health and then one specifically called, Zen for sleep. Within those products what we’ve done is we’ve taken not only the cannabinoids, but other botanicals that have come from traditional Chinese medicine and also included functional mushrooms which have amazing benefits.
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I just want to remind you all that you to join at my private Facebook group Called, Life Coach, and there you will also get encouragement to transform your life every day on different subjects and topics.
Hemp seeds are a nutritional dark horse in the world of seeds. While they’re packed with healthy nutrients and can contribute flavor and texture to dozens of different dishes, most people don’t view them as a pantry staple. This article aims to change that!
Millions of people suffer from at least one of the, compulsive behaviors, Compulsive shopping, Compulsive eating, Hoarding, Compulsive sexual behavior.
—often, even when the individual wishes they could stop—despite the fact that the act triggers negative outcomes, leads to interpersonal conflicts, or damages mental health.
Listen to full interview here:
Introduction to Compulsive Behaviors
Common activities that can develop into compulsions include, compulsive shopping, hoarding, eating, gambling, sex, and exercise. Though some behaviors are easier to over-indulge in than others, in reality, nearly any behavior has the potential of becoming a, compulsive behavior. Some people even talk compulsively, for instance.
There are also obsessive compulsive disorder, in which a compulsive person performs certain behaviors to relieve underlying anxiety or other negative emotions. A well-known example is a person who checks and rechecks everything—if the stove is turned off, for instance, or if the door is locked.
These behaviors rarely decrease anxiety in the long run; in most cases, they only provide temporary relief. In extreme cases, compulsive behaviors start to take over the person’s work, home, and social life, at the expense of normal activities.
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How are Compulsive Behaviors and addictions connected?
Compulsive behaviors, have a genetic effect and are often seen in identical twins. I know 17 year old identical twin girls who came into the foster care system at 4 years old and have had trauma. I attributed their, compulsive behaviors, to genes from their biological parents and environment from their early years in foster care. They started, compulsive behaviors, like stealing from about 5 years old, as they grew older that transformed into, compulsive shoplifting, then they started running away and couldn’t stop, now they are compulsively, hoarding.
Compulsion behaviors, often arise after stressful events, trauma, or abuse as we have seen in our study of addictions. When people engage in, compulsive behaviors, they become trapped in a pattern of repetitive actions or senseless thinking from which it can be difficult to break free.
Treatment is often key for overcoming, compulsive behaviors.
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How does normal behavior turn into, Compulsive Behaviors?
As far as the brain is concerned our rewards are reward important, so regardless of whether it comes from a chemical or an experience and you know that there’s a
reward and people who indulge in , compulsive behaviors, like gambling, eating, sex, and shopping, become trapped in the reward system of dopamine.
Types of Compulsive Behaviors
Compulsive behaviors, come in many forms, all of which can be quite debilitating or even dangerous.
Hoarding, for instance, are those who are unable to part with even the most worthless possessions. Many hoarders find the act of purging so distressful that they live under extremely crowded and potentially harmful conditions.
Compulsive shopping,
Compulsive eating
Over exercising
Hoarding
Compulsive cleaning
Compulsive Hoarding, is a psychiatric disorder which involves the accumulation of personal possessions to the point at which these accumulations interfere with your quality of life to a significant degree. The acquisition of “things” and failure to throw away unneeded objects can result in only mild symptoms of a cluttered home to a home which is too unsanitary for healthy living. At the current time, it’s thought that between two and six percent of the population is living with some degree of hoarding disorder.
Compulsively taking selfies and posting on social media
Compulsive sexual behavior or sexual addiction
What negative triggers enable Compulsive Behaviors like Hoarding.
The brain tricks us into thinking that we need the reward so we perform the, compulsive behavior, to re up the Dopamine
I know that as humans we move towards pleasure and away from pain. In my role as parent with kids who have, compulsive behaviors. These behaviors are cemented because they engage the reward centers of the brain.
How does one break that reward system for, Compulsive Behaviors?
Don’t wait until sexual temptation attacks you before you see it as a formidable force which seeks to destroy you. Its insidious tactic is designed to enslave you into sexual sins and keep you locked into erotic desires. How you perceive sexual temptation in your life, determines how well you will overcome its deceitful force, and walk in total victory.
“Naked and Ashamed, the Battle of Sexual Temptation.” is a Christian self-help book that explains what sexual temptation is, and gives you Biblical scriptures on how to control your sexual desires, and unnatural urges. With chapters such as recognizing the tempter, and rejecting the flesh, you will study strategies on how to recognize situations that tempts you, and learn how to keep your flesh under subjection. Although we will all be tempted sexually at some time, we can learn from this book on how to refrain from overreacting and falling into sexual bondage. So put on your seatbelt and get ready to be free from all of your unwanted sexual desires and temptations. Order “Naked and Ashamed, The Battle of Sexual Temptation” today! Written by Sheela Fields, now available on Amazon.
Sex Addiction Treatment
Let’s look at, compulsive sexual behavior, or sexual addiction. Sexual addiction, is represented by, compulsive behavior, in commonly available sexual practices, such as
Attending strip clubs,
Compulsive masturbation,
Paying for sex through prostitution,
Excessive use of pornography,
and repeated engagement in extramarital affairs.
Compulsive sexual behavior, otherwise known as sexual addiction, is an emerging psychiatric disorder that has significant medical and psychiatric consequences. Until recently, very little empirical data existed to explain the biological, psychological, and social risk factors that contribute to this condition. In addition, clinical issues, such as the natural course and best practices on treating sexual addictions, have not been formalized. Despite this absence, the number of patients and communities requesting assistance with this problem remains significant. This article will review the clinical features of compulsive sexual behavior and will summarize the current evidence for psychological and pharmacological treatment.
Dr Ahia What forms of, Sex Addiction Treatment, would you administer to someone suffering from, compulsive sexual addiction?
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How would you treat a youth that had the compulsion for taking selfies or even shoplifting?
Wildly Alive coach Nichole Wurth shares how having an, active lifestyle, could help you fight, coronavirus COVID 19, and become BFF’s with your body.
Journey to an Active lifestyle.
I was raised on Hamburger Helper and mac and cheese. I didn’t know the basics of nourishing your body or a healthy lifestyle. That was not something that was taught to me, so I got out of high school and I gained some weight. I did what most women do. I started dieting. I wouldn’t say that I had a big-time body image issues or self-esteem issues going into that whole experience; but after every diet I started to realize it took out a chunk of my self-esteem.
So after years of dieting if you would have looked at my body you would have thought damn she’s got it going on she’s so fit she’s so healthy. I want her body, I want her, active lifestyle. But in all reality even though I looked like I was living a, healthy lifestyle, I was an absolute mess inside.
I had disordered eating and disordered exercising and I was so lost in trying to have a, active lifestyle, I didn’t even see it I was I was obsessed with what I was going to eat and what I couldn’t eat. I was strategizing with every bite. It was strategy all the time. I was still deeply unhappy because before living this, healthy lifestyle, I blamed all my unhappiness and the reason why I don’t have a boyfriend, the reason why I don’t have a fulfilling job, or the reason why I don’t have …fill in the blank, was because of my body.
It’s very common for women to blame everything on their body, so now that I had lost the weight and I look fit and healthy and living a, healthy lifestyle, I no longer had anything to blame for my unhappiness. So again even though you would look at me and you think wow she’s an inspiration, honestly I was lost from disordered eating and disordered exercising. Most people they don’t even see it, and they’re broken. That’s how diet culture works. Diet culture intentionally breaks you, breaks your trust with yourself, so then you need a diet all the time.
That’s how I was for years. I didn’t trust myself without the guidelines, without the rules and other restrictions. I went through that whole journey. I lost the weight and I was worse than I was before I started that journey.
I start moving into like exploring okay how can I find happiness and freedom and a, healthy lifestyle, at the same time because dieting does not get you happiness and freedom. It feels very caged. That’s the philosophy of the wildly alive coaching program. I started coming up with this idea that your body is a living, breathing, feeling thing just like a plant. So if I went into my office every day and looked at my plants and said to them, you’re ugly and you’re not good enough and you need to try harder. I would have sent negative energy to them right they would rebel and not thrive.
The Ketogenic Diet is good for a healthy lifestyle
I think that’s where most women are. They look at their body as just this thing that’s hanging on them, that’s never right and will never be right, and they’re constantly abusing it. If you want to call it abuse or not, it really is, because you probably would never talk to your best friend that way or even your enemy. That is when I started really looking into instead of creating change from a place of shame, which diet culture teaches, if you just hate your body enough then you can change it shifting that to respect base change. learning how to respect our body as we are changing and reshaping it. The Ketogenic Diet is the new popular diet plan.
Food plays a very important part in our body image and women in particular, maybe even men. Men drink, women eat! I’m not sure, but a lot of times if you have emotional problems it shows up in what you eat. And yeah when you go to the gym, and you have a really nice body, that’s on the outside. You could still feel shame inside.
A lot of women could identify with, you’re overweight and you buckled down and lost the weight, they are now living a, healthy lifestyle, they go to the gym every day, they eat right and embrace, healthy living, so where is the reward. Where is the boyfriend or husband?
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What is an Active Lifestyle?
I gained all kinds of weight at the end of high school because I was in the industry and I was eating a lot of jalapeno, mayonnaise and French fries. It was like my favorite combination with Big Mac. The whole the whole world globally, we’re looking at the, coronavirus, and at, COVID-19, and everybody including all the health experts are now on talking about a, healthy lifestyle, because what we’re all now acutely aware that if you have a healthy immune system then you can probably get over this, coronavirus, illness. My, active lifestyle, programs started before people became conscious of, healthyliving. A, healthy lifestyle, is being wildly alive!
I wanted to create something like a like a bridge between the, covid-19, pandemic and, healthy living. I’m telling my clients right now is first and foremost and this is the basis of wildly alive coaching, is your mind is the most powerful muscle in your body and so just like with dieting.
And the constant feeling of stress, you have to change from the inside.
When I was dieting, I was constantly stressed, I was afraid of butter. I was afraid of red meat and so on and so on. Even though according to my little calorie counting notebook, I was eating
all of the right things; because I was so stressed over the food, that I was unhealthy. Stressing about everything you put into your mouth is not a, healthy lifestyle.
What is the Feminine approach to a Healthy Lifestyle
This is a respect based approach to, healthy living. If I can help show you how awesome your body is, and how it’s doing so many things right now, in this moment, then what will start to happen is, you’ll start to recognize that your body is always talking to you. She’s always speaking to you. She can guide you on the best things to eat and the best ways to move and how to thrive in this whole self-care thing. You don’t need a plan, you don’t need somebody telling you what to eat and how to exercise and what to do to feel happy, your body can tell you all of that.
We live in this Western society that just cuts you off at the head and makes you think that all your body is or something you manipulate, that’s all it is it’s just this mass, that has no voice or no wisdom. So when you start opening up the lines of communication with your body, you start to listen to it. You start to feel really good. It is just like when you get a cut you don’t have to look at the cut and be like okay white blood cells come do your thing. No the white blood cells are on it. They start forming a scab around the cut and the processes of healing begins.
Our bodies are so smart that we can’t even conceptualize and wrap our mind around all the brilliance of our body. So if I can teach you some of that, and I can show you how awesome your body is and how she is here to guide you. She’s here to guide yourself care and, healthy lifestyle, and she’s also here to guide you on your life choices.
The feminine approach to an, active lifestyle, is really is a woman’s 28-day cycle if you’re menstruating. As women we have a 28-day cycle and that 28-day cycle mirrors the moon. There’s four phases within our 28-day cycle and also within the moon cycle. Those four phases also mirror the four seasons of the planet. A, healthy lifestyle, includes following your cycle.
For example just to make this really simplified, when you’re bleeding it is the New Moon phase.
When we’re having our period we tend to be more hibernating, we’re not as extroverted. This is our introverted time. This is the time when we reflect and restore. This is our winter time so if you’re ever confused you just look at the season the new moon. So when you’re bleeding doing a high intense workout it’s probably not the best thing for your body. If you’re on hormonal birth control or you’re not having your period, just start tracking the moon and your body will start syncing up with it.
Vice versa the full moon is your ovulation or summer phase. You are hyper energized. There’s lots of growth, there’s lots of expansion, there’s lots of extroverted energy and so this is a really good time for an, active lifestyle, in terms of movement. Now is the time for that high intensity workout or doing that new salsa high intensity class.
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Wildly Alive self-care and, Healthy lifestyle, coaching program
Wildly alive is about Shame -based change is by telling yourself you can’t have those things and you’re a bad person if you eat those things, so just to flip this on the head a little bit and think about it from a respect based change. I always tell my clients I would never tell them they can’t eat things ever unless they have an allergy to something, that’s a whole different conversation. Telling yourself you can’t eat bread because this study says that bread is bad for you. I don’t think that’s enough to really shift into respect based change. I’m a huge believer in moderation. I think a little bit of everything is okay. So have the bread or have the beer, really sit and enjoy it. If your body starts to say to you, I feel bloated every time I drink a beer, then make some changes. Drink half a beer or try a different beer.
Here are the mechanics for a, healthy active lifestyle, during covid-19
trying keeping the energy light in our house
limit media, limit the news because it is mostly negative
have a lot of sunlight.
getting outside and connecting with nature. Being in nature boosts your immune system. I also love to bring nature into my house. I have lots of my salt lamps.
An, active lifestyle, starts with some sort of movement on a regular basis. It could be going out for a walk, it could be yoga, it could be bike riding. Exercise calms your nerves.
drink a lot of water
increasing your vitamin C intake. I’ve been making this lemon ginger juice.
stay open to the lessons of the, covid-19, pandemic
I read somewhere that you were disappointed in Oprah. Please share why that is.
I would to preface this statement with I do love Oprah. I love her in so many different ways as a woman, as a woman of color. She is breaking the mold and I love her for so many reasons; but a few weeks ago, I was watching an interview with her in Lady Gaga and she’s on stage and they were talking about mental health and I loved it. I was like yes I love this conversation they’re about mental health, this is such an important part of health right now. But then I started seeing WW everywhere and I was like what is WW? It was Weight Watchers and I was so devastated in that moment because Weight Watchers is diet culture. It’s the epitome of diet culture. They were having this beautiful conversation about mental health and calorie counting. Weight Watchers has been proven to be mentally unhealthy. It was so sad.
I still love Oprah, I know she’s human. I know she’s flawed. I forgive her.
Do you have any special programs or coaching programs that promote a, Healthy Lifestyle
I do have a new free challenge called the embrace and reach your body challenge, that will start in a few weeks. You could go to wildlyalive.com flash challenge.
What you think about you bring about, so intrusive, thoughts activate the Law of Attraction. To get into the, vortex, and activate, the law of attraction, for the things you want, reach for the best feeling, thoughts, in every moment.
If you want to heal the body you must first heal the mind `~ Plato
Listen to Podcast Here:
You create your physical condition through your, intrusive thoughts activate the law of attraction. That means you can think yourself sick or think yourself well. I have healed pain in my body many times by focusing on healing energy so in the reverse you can heal yourself by, intrusive good feeling thoughts.
Disease is the result of blocked energy and that is why the body scan chakra meditation is such a powerful healing tool.
Relax and breathe deeply is the first response to any illness.
Try this next time you feel pain in your body, use these, thoughts, to bring about healing:
Imagine a light like the sun or moon entering your body through your breath. Send that light directly to the pain area hold it there for a few seconds. Then breathe out and imagine you are collecting the pain and breathing it out.
The Magic of Commitment Focus, Thoughts
You are either doing something or you are waiting for something to happen. You are either committed to someone or something or you are not.
Obstacles become opportunities when you are committed.
With commitment, failure is not an option.
Get clear of what you want and why you want it. These, thoughts, help you focus and stay committed
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The Magic of Faith Thoughts become things: Activating the Law of Attraction
You have to believe and have faith that the current universal energy will carry you to all your desires that is why, intrusive thoughts activate the law of attraction, and faith.
Faith is essential to manifesting your desires. It is the currency of the spiritual world.
Trust God and have faith that he will give you the desires of your heart
The Story of My Life, first published in 1903, is Helen Keller’s autobiography detailing her early life, especially her experiences with Anne Sullivan. Portions of it were adapted by William Gibson for a 1957 Playhouse 90 production, a 1959 Broadway play, a 1962 Hollywood feature film, and the Indian film “Black”, which was directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali. The book is dedicated to inventor Alexander Graham Bell. The dedication reads, “To ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL Who has taught the deaf to speak and enabled the listening ear to hear speech from the Atlantic to the Rockies, I dedicate this Story of My Life.”
Your Life Theme and, personalities, shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes and the, 16 personalities types, that can compose your identity.
Introduction
John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman. He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill. That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, 16 personalities types, controls our communication.
He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are. That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions. Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.
How to identify our 16 Personalities.
John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale. That is how you read people.
Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun. I want to appease the, personalities, so when I walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down. I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.
Our, personality, as our way of expression. Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization. The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.
Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.
True, but I look at what do you like to do for fun? What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?” I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are. I am able to identify one of your, 16 personalities types, from this test.
Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You
Your Life Theme offers the, personality, framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.
You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or “Life Themes.”
These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.
These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.
These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.
While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.
They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.
Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.
The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator
An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.
According to, Myers-Briggs, theory of, personality types, people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:
Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:
Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
The 16 personalities types
The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.
The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.
The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.
The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.
All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:
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The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:
The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
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As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.
What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.
All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:
To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com
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The, coronavirus, is the latest virus to reach pandemic spread. Before it was SARS, Ebola, Aids. Since these viruses come around every couple of years, learn how to protect yourself.
In this episode Dr Joe Nieusma, shares information on how viruses like the common cold, influenza virus, and other viruses operate in our body, what is the virus intent, how our immune system fights, what happens when the, immune system, looses the fight, and how health care workers stabilize patients. We look specifically on what makes the, coronavirus, so deadly and so infectious. Finally we discuss wellness programs and how you can protect yourself against the, coronavirus, and the next infectious virus, since they come around every 2 years or so.
Coronavirus Update
As we record this episode the world is in a panic regarding the, Coronavirus, also called the, COVID-19
The US death toll for the, corona virus, has climbed to more than 278
COVID-19, cases in the US have surpassed 22,000+ and there are more than 298,000+ cases worldwide, 12,755+ deaths.
Confirmed cases of the novel, coronavirus, have topped 200,000 worldwide
Federal reserve cuts interest rates to nearly zero
Italy reported 368 new, coronavirus, related deaths on March 15, a 25% rise
Many US retailers have cut hours or closed in the face of the, coronavirus
Spain reported that deaths from the, coronavirus, have more than doubled in a day to 288 with infections near 8,000
All these reports have produced fear. People are hoarding supplies. There is no toilet paper, wipes, hand sanitizer, bleach, hydrogen peroxide and other items in the stores.
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My guest today is Dr Joe Nieusma is the fearless CEO/Chief Toxicologist at Superior Toxicology & Wellness, an international scientific consulting firm that he founded.
The Behavior of viruses?
I’ve been in toxicology for 30 plus years and my specialty is exposures scenarios that the human body must endure. Exposure is the broad brush. That could be chemical exposure, that could be pharmaceutical exposure, that could be exposure to, electromagnetic radiation, that could be 5G, that could be biological exposure or microbial exposure; so the fact that I’ve specialized in exposure of the human body, that’s where my expertise comes in. Exposure to the biologicals, viruses to specifically the, coronavirus.
I opened my own practice and company called, Superior Toxicology and Wellness, providing services helping with the pharmaceutical industry and in chemical exposures. Basically taking care of people, giving them a full toxicological report.
The human body has a set amount of defense systems and exposure to the, coronavirus, in particular that’s where the damage starts kicking in.
The, common cold, is a virus actually in a classification called, rhinoviruses, which is actually a sub classification of the, coronavirus, family so they’re all related.
Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a viral respiratory illness started in … Europe, and Asia before the SARS global outbreak of 2003 was contained.
Influenza Virus, commonly known as “the flu“, is an infectious disease caused by an influenza virus. Symptoms can be mild to severe. The most common symptoms include: high fever, runny nose, sore throat, muscle and joint pain, headache, coughing, and feeling tired.
Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS) is viral respiratory illness that is new to humans. It was first reported in Saudi Arabia in 2012 and has since spread to other countries.
Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) is a chronic, potentially life-threatening condition caused by the human immunodeficiency virus(HIV). By damaging your immune system, HIV interferes with your body’s ability to fight infection and disease.
The herpes simplex virus, also known as HSV, is an infection that causes herpes. Herpes can appear in various parts of the body, most commonly on the genitals or mouth. There are two types of the herpes simplex virus.
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All these viruses consists of a protein coat, the technical scientific word for it is a capsidand this protein coat protects the genetic material which is inside the virus. The two basic types of virus you have are DNA viruses and RNA viruses. They have genetic material and they have a protein coat that consists of multiple proteins and this is collectively known as a, viral particle, so that, viral particles, need some sort of a pathway to attach to a host and get into a host cell. The, coronavirus, is specifically designed for two things:
it’s designed to get into that host cell
and it’s designed to avoid getting eliminated.
So the way that happens is that it has an interaction through a specific receptor and with the, coronavirus, that receptor is the 8/2 receptor – stands for angiotensin converting enzyme. That is the gateway for the, coronavirus, to attach to the host cell and get all of the genetic material into that host cell.
The, coronavirus on its own can’t replicate it needs to be in conjunction with the host cell and what the, coronavirus, does is what all viruses do. It hijacks the host replicating machinery to make copy after copy of the viral genetic code, so then when that host cell is so loaded with, viral particles, it virtually bores open and sends new viruses all over the body.
The virus that hijacks the cells and uses it to replicate will kill that cell when that starts to happen the body mounts a defense against those, viruses so it’s a battle between how fast can the virus replicate or how fast can the body take out the virus that’s trying to overpower the defense mechanisms of the body the defense mechanism of the body.
This is called your, immune system. The, immune system, is the super complex organ system in your body that never gets enough credit, the, immune system, in the human body has the power to ruin your life and it does that when it gets out of whack and starts attacking yourself. This is called autoimmune disease, so it is a delicate balance of keeping your immune system in check but still powerful enough to battle against viruses.
That balance that is generically called, wellness, so you can begin to see how everything is.
How the immune system works to fight the coronavirus
When the, virus, is winning over the, immune system, that’s when you start to see symptoms of the viral illness. The body gets sick and the illness progresses. The body is spending all kinds of resources to try to fight the viral load the viral replication and it’s also now trying to manage the symptoms of that illness.
The way you intercede pharmacologically that means fancy big words are saying how do you use drugs to attack the, viruses, well you need an antiviral drug or vaccine and usually those types of drugs target those proteins that are in that protein coat that’s around the genetic material or they try to halt the viral replication in the cell.
We sacrifice the one cell to stop the viral replication and if we’re going after the protein coat that’s usually the targets of, vaccines,
It’s difficult to make a vaccine that’s why there’s no cure for the, common cold, because those proteins in that coat are continually and rapidly mutating. You have to have something stable to develop a vaccine to fight that viral infection and if the mutation rate is too fast there’s not a target that’s around long enough to design that vaccine against.
How does the Influenza virus vaccine work?
The way to describe this is let’s say you have a bucket of, flu viruses, and there’s a hundred different kinds in there. The look at historic data about emergence of these different viruses historically over time and they’re trying to predict the best case scenario for which, flu virus, is going to break out and run through the human population in any given year. So what they do is they take the top three that will most likely to break out, flu viruses, and they formulate that season vaccine to those three viruses. There’s no guarantee that they’re getting it right. There’s no guarantee that it’s going to be effective and it’s always going to be a best-guess scenario. It’s still a good idea to get a flu shot because more times than not, one of those flu viruses that they have in that mixture is going to the one.
Why does the, coronavirus, affect the elderly population?
I’m understanding why the people who are dying from the, coronavirus, so far are the elderly or are sick people who have compromised, immune systems, because the, immune system, can’t fight the, coronavirus, as fast as their bodies are making these duplicates.
What they’ve seen in the population statistics are the people at the greatest risk are the people that are 70 years old or older or those that have pre-existing medical conditions, respiratory effects, cardiac effects. Those folks with those types of medical problems are particularly at risk and those are the ones that should absolutely adhere to every one of the guidelines being put out. Stay away from crowds, keep your hands washed, do not touch any common surfaces where this infection could be because they have the least amount of capacity to fight and survive this particular viral infection.
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If I had to answer that with one word that word would be, infectivity.
Basically the difference between the, coronavirus, COVID-19, this year’s poster child for pandemic is the amount of people that got this infection and how easily it spreads from person to person to person.
This is the key that sets it apart from other, viruses, like, common cold, SARS, Influenza virus, Mers, AIDS virus, Herpes virus, Ebola virus, etc.
The infectivity rate of the, coronavirus, COVID-19 is much greater and much more aggressive than viruses, that have been available in the past or attacked humans in the past. So in one word it would be its infectious nature. That’s what sets the, coronavirus, apart; but the reason that is because of the gateway that, coronavirus, gets into the host cells it’s the ace 2 receptors. (Angiotensin converting enzyme 2.)
Coronavirus receptors
Humans have these, coronavirus receptors, on your heart, on your lungs, on your kidney, on your liver, on all of your blood vessels, and in a high propensity in your oral cavity, your mouth, your tongue, your cheek, your throat, your airways; so whenever there is any viral particles, let’s say somebody that gets less than 6 feet away from you sneezes and you can feel the droplets on your face well you also have those receptors in your mouth, and your throat ,and all of those droplets if that person is infected is just chock-full of, coronavirus, and those viruses bind to those receptors in and around wherever they can get in your body and then start that process of replicating.
Smokers have a higher level of the ACE2 receptors, so they are more susceptible to the, coronavirus.
The virus invokes an inflammation response, so what happens is the virus gets in and it triggers your, immune system, your, immune system, calls for the cavalry and the cavalry consists your t-cells that’s your b-cells and all of your other leukocytes, your white blood cells, come rushing to wherever this space is that this attack is going on and the your body is mounting a mass inflammation response to try to kill whatever is there in this case it’s the, corona virus.
The problem is the things that go awry is that when your, immune system, gets completely overzealous and calls in everything it has to launch an inflammation reaction that’s bigger than it needs, it loses the braking mechanism if you will and what you have is called a cytokine storm. That cytokine storm produces such an inflammation reaction that it runs through your cellular protective mechanisms. Your lungs get flooded and your organs start to shut down.
Organ failure and the coronavirus
You can get multiple organ failure over a very short period of time. If the person is going into, cytokine storm, because of the, coronavirus, infection, it’s a very bleak picture. It’s very painful and the people have to have very intense resource intensive medical care if they’re going to have a chance to survive.
The, coronavirus, can be symptom-free up to 14 days and I’ve seen some evidence that suggests it could be 24 to 28 days without symptoms. What’s going on at that time is there’s a fight raging in your body between the, coronavirus, and the, immune system, if the, immune system, wins then that person never shows symptoms; but is still was infected and give it to other people.
The other thing which you hear repeatedly in the media, is that you have to be careful because this, coronavirus, can live on surfaces for up to nine days. Think about this as you grab the grocery cart handle and the gas pump, then after touching those services how many times do you scratch your nose or touch your eye.
How to Protect yourself against the Coronavirus?
You have to protect yourself against infection the best defense is avoiding infection in the first place.
That’s barrier protection that’s avoiding the crowds
That’s keeping your common areas clean
That’s washing after you touch common areas
It’s just not doing anything stupid
Make sure you’re in top physical condition
you know I mean just make sure
Make sure you’re hydrated
Make sure that you’re getting enough sleep
Make sure that you’re eating a good diet not a bunch of processed food
Eat a diet of half or mostly plants and you’re going to be okay
Practice Wellness
I was listening to Dr. Deepak Chopra give advice on the, coronavirus, and he talked about having a healthy lifestyle that included, meditation, exercise, and nutrition.
What is your wellness program to prevent the, Coronavirus?
Meditation is tremendous, it’s the power of the mind. You absolutely have to have a positive outlook and you have to be thinking about how you want things to be, not how you dread things could be.
Exercise the promotes a healthy body, it helps you to eliminate toxins and gives your body an avenue to eliminate things. Exercise increases your body temperature and it produces the sweat and it increases the circulation to the lymph system, which is your garbage disposal in the body. Which helps to eliminate toxins. Exercise gives you the sense of well-being. I try to do something active every day.
Nutrition like I said right before eat half and mostly plants and you’re going to be okay. There’s actually some new research out there that shows after going 90 days on a vegan diet that you change the transcription of 500 different genes in your body, some of them for promoting wellness and others for preventing disease. It just unlocks your body’s ability to engage with the consciousness of the universe.
One product that I have found that builds up your, immune system, and I’ve written a paper for non-scientific people is called C60 complete from livelongerlabs.com.
Its carbon 60, which is the world’s most efficient antioxidant. Having carbon 60 on board can help to stop that cytokine storm that happens when you’re when your inflammation response goes haywire and the other two ingredients in C60 complete are black seed oil and curcumin. Those two are very powerful natural products that have been around for centuries in the herbal medicine circles.
The other programs that I like are on my website Superior Toxicology and Wellness. Click on the HOPE button, HOPE stands for, Health Optimization Prescription Evaluation. Those folks who are on multiple drug products and think they have no way out of that polypharmacy because one doctor put them on one thing and the next doctor put them on the next thing and the third doctor put them on something else and none of those doctors took the time to look at what they were already on, I’ll do that for you. I’ll be that pharmaceutical advocate and give you the questions that you can ask your doctors to say. Do I really need to be on these drugs or why am I on these drugs. Because if you can eliminate the drugs and give your body what it needs to function optimally, you’re going to give yourself the best case scenario to fight off these pandemics.
This year it’s, coronavirus, before it was, SARS, before it was, Ebola virus, it’s always something killing humanity about every two years.
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Novel coronavirus, is among the family of, coronaviruses, that cause illnesses that range from the common cold to Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS). Until last year, the new strain had never before been seen in humans.
Symptoms of the infection include serious respiratory illness often with additional fever, cough, and difficulty breathing. Currently there is no cure nor a vaccine for the infections, so physicians treat patients based on their symptoms. Some patients come down with a bad case of pneumonia or kidney failure. Gastrointestinal problems, like diarrhea, have also been reported.
People who already have underlying health conditions may be more susceptible to the infection, and their symptoms may be different from the majority of cases — for example, they may not experience respiratory problems.
The, words, that I used all the time was “I shouldn’t have eaten that”. Then I always pray to God for help to stop me from, binge eating. I didn’t want to, eat, all of that food, so I became like almost obsessive about, dieting, and my, relationship with food and how to, lose weight.
Isabel’s new book EAT YOUR WORDS is not the typical, self-help diet book, Instead, Isabel’s approach is a more narrative, semi-autobiographical exploration of the sensual-and-painful relationship to food so many of us can’t escape. The book expertly coaches from life lessons and experiences of the uber-relatable curvaceous girl entry into womanhood. Her hearty Italian appetite make for a complex-carb tale about the depth of our relationship with self-nourishment.
Myrna: Isabel, can you share with our listeners your own journey through, body shaming, and self-discovery?
Isabel: Of course. In my own journey, food, eating and, dieting, has always been a big point of contention my whole life. It was through this non-acceptable way that I eat and always focus on the food. I always guilty after eating, like I shouldn’t have eaten it. My internal dialogue was always on how to, lose weight.
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Your Words are important if you want to Lose weight
The, words, that I used all the time was “I shouldn’t have eaten that”. Then I always pray to God for help to stop me from, binge eating. I didn’t want to, eat, all of that food, so I became like almost obsessive about, dieting, and my, relationship with food and how to, lose weight.
I started using, words, like there’s a certain way to, eat, there’s a certain way to be with food, and, diet. Each day I try to do it, there was always a new, diet. That is what has been the journey of my life. It’s been a journey of the kind of needs to come to terms with on some level and I think the, body shaming, was me telling myself my body is this way because I ate all that food and that was no way to, lose weight.
Many times in my book, my main character, I say she’s walking around with no head. This is to highlight that sometimes we are disconnected our head from our body. It’s a very common feeling or a life existence that is happening on some level. It’s kind of introspection book on the whole journey of the, body shaming, and coming to terms with the body, mind and spirit on some level.
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Myrna: How did you transition from walking around kind of discombobulated – which is a word where you’re not connected and then you got to the point where you’re going to, eat your words, because you’re not going to be telling yourself these negative things about food. What was your transition? Did you go to a Therapist to start to, lose weight?
Isabel: There have been a million people involved in this process, because you’re always a person with focus and you’re always trying to come up with a resolution to stop, self destructive eating and how to, lose weight. It’s almost like I became a researcher. It was really a journey of finding what was really in my own soul, what was I really like?
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If your body and mind are disconnected, you can’t even figure out what your, words, are saying to you. I saying to myself on a daily basis, a lot of negative, words, about myself and my body. I saying these, words, to myself before I, eat, and after I, eat.
What happens is when you take yourself to task on some level, when you start to really become conscious, you notice your, words. First thing I became conscious was I knew I needed to be in my body. Because when you are out of your body you eat unconsciously. For different people, it’s different things. I started to work out because I needed to feel my body and I was out of it. You can’t, lose weight, if you are not in your body.
The other thing was, as long as you’re feeling your body, then you get to hear your, words, and what you’re saying to yourself. So, the, words, started to become more conscious. What I have realized lately is that to be out of your body, you have to be really busy with things. If you’re busy, then you also have those, words, that are saying – oh! I’m so busy, I didn’t, eat, all day long and I’m starving. Now, I have a permission to just, eat, whatever I want, wherever I want and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter which is what we say to ourselves. So you sabotage your efforts to, lose weight.
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Myrna: Where did your, self destructive eating, habits come from? I know you mentioned that you’re Italian and, Italian food, has a lot of carbs and pastas and things like that. Is that where your, eating habits, came from?
Isabel: Yes, except for Italians are for the most part are thin! I mean I’m in the restaurant business. I started my whole life in a family restaurant business, so my focus in life became food. At an early age, when we made food, we made huge meals. I never knew what a, portion size, was like. I never used the, words, portion size, until I was in my 30s and 40s!
I would go to my friend’s homes and they would have like a bit of rice, or a bit of meat. I was like confused when I was younger, because that was never what happened at our house. I understand now the, portion size, mentality that really showed up in my whole scope of thought. My whole thought pattern shifted and I became conscious that large portion sizes defeats my ability to, lose weight.
I was no longer eating like I was at an you can eat buffet. My, eating habits, as a child made me end up with this buffet mentality.
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Myrna: At some point in time, you developed, body shame. You took me through your self-discovery, how did you use your, words, to stop, body shaming and accepting that you are a curvaceous girl?
Isabel: Body shaming, comes when you start a comparison with other people who are a certain size. You see people in a certain way and then you start looking at yourself as different. Each time you talk to people, you’re like wait, why don’t I look like you? But it doesn’t matter because we already internalized that there’s something wrong with us and that we need to, lose weight.
Whatever we look like, we want to be someone else. People start to say oh, for a little girly you’re eating a lot. Then you start to make a correlation with; I’m eating a lot, there’s weight here and there’s something wrong with what’s happening in me. I’m not okay and that’s how one starts to develop, body shame.
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Myrna: Why do you think we purposely distract ourselves when making food choices to the detriment of our health and, binge eating?
Isabel: I’m not a psychologist, I just know. I’ve been looking at this behavior for a long time. What I think is that we distract ourselves because we don’t want to feel the things that is going on in our life. I think a lot of times, when we do choose, binge eating, we are actually eating food as a distraction.
Maybe the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing kind of thing. A lot of times, we start to, eat, because we start to feel something’s coming up. It doesn’t matter what it is, it could be happy, it could be sad, it could be like anger and/or even bored. I, eat, when I’m bored.
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Notice what going on in your body before you eat that food
When there’s nothing going on, there’s still something going on in your body. If there’s something going on your body, but you’re not present to it or you don’t want to know what it is or what for every reason, you’re not used to it. I think a lot of times people don’t recognize their feelings or they judge their feelings.
I’m a night time eater. I could do all day long with no food (because every emotion from the day maybe was just piled up), but at night, I’m like a wreck for that. Not for nighttime or for that one time and it’s all starting to come up and then we’re like let’s just go for it and we start, binge eating.
Myrna: Yes, that has been my biggest struggle for a long period of time. I couldn’t stop eating at night. It’s a little under control now, but that was my biggest struggle for a while.
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Isabel: I decided to lose the word, diet. I decided to do something different for myself which eventually added more nourishment and nutrition to my day. I first started with being in my body, and then I used my, words, to say let me give myself food instead of saying, I’m going to take away food and I’m not going to eat this.
I started giving myself different foods, I allowed myself to have more nutritious foods and I started creating a new mindset. This new mindset was alright. I was totally resistant to this, but I started finding a place that had green drinks. I could have green drinks which took the edge off of hunger and it made me feel in my body. So, instead of going into the business of my whole day, I’m going to add a green drink. Just one thing, I added nutrition instead of taking something away, I was going to give myself things.
If someone once likes eating at night, instead of having the bad things we want to, eat, at night you and what would you give what did you give yourself to replace that because a green drink. Just starting to give yourself other more nutritional things maybe you want to give yourself more vegetables than that and rice.
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Myrna: How can those of us struggling with, weight gain, and a pure relationship to food face the issue head-on?
Isabel: The first thing I say is to, change your mindset. Start creating an intention for yourself and start creating a, mindset, that you’re in the middle of the process. I always like to say we’re always in the middle of the process and that we are shifting. We’re always shifting and we’re always changing, even though it looks really bad – it always looks really bad before it gets really good. We’re going to start to use the right, words.
Myrna: Tell us about your book “Eat Your Words”, why you wrote it and what do you want someone that’s reading it to walk away with?
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Isabel: The book was a way to be conscious for myself like it really was. I wrote it for myself like a journal. I was really writing a book, but it was the stories of my life. So the goal was for me to get to some kind of resolution in my life. The stories are for people to really understand that they’re not struggling in this arena by themselves. This is really to bring the behaviors to consciousness and to show anybody that he/she is not the only one going through this. I mean most of the world is going through this on some level.
Now you become conscious of what the, words, are and how they affected our behaviors and through that, there is healing that can be done when you see something that somebody else is doing and you hear what their process is. I bring up a lot of processes.
Myrna: Where does the, “Eat Your Words,” come from? I’m assuming it’s internal dialogue.
Isabel: “Eat Your Words,” is internal dialogue and it starts at the origins of the family.
Myrna: It’s all about inner dialogue? But the inner dialogue as you can imagine is kind of runs your life and it could be conscious or unconscious.
Isabel: It wasn’t so sometimes.
Myrna: It’s unconscious right?
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Isabel: It was the, words, that I would say, as my mantra was, oh I don’t care. The biggest, words, were “oh I don’t care”. However, once you start saying I don’t care, it doesn’t just apply to what you are eating. It really becomes what you start to say to yourself, the, words, you use.
I don’t care,
Oh I don’t care about myself
So I don’t care what I put in my body.
Anyway I don’t care what becomes of my life.
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Myrna: How can readers connect with you and get a copy of your book?
Isabel: If anyone wants to get the first chapter of my book, just to see if they like it or if it works for them, they can go to https://isabel-chiara.com, on that page, they could download the first chapter for free or they could just buy the book on Amazon.
We also have a membership site called Healing and Activation Process Integrations. Happy place is what I call it. It’s going to be a lot of processes that are going to help people to get inside of themselves. It can move things and look at things differently and channel them differently.
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I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.~~Nathen Aaren
Nathan Aaren helps heart centered entrepreneurs merge all of their passions into one life mission. Plan, fund and build their, dream life, and business. He’s raised over 1 million dollars per client and worked with Fortune 500 Companies and Grammy Award Winning Artists including The Olympics, Adidas, CBS Sports, Lil Wayne and Ray Ban, and produces two podcasts which charted #1 on iTunes. After being homeless, he became an agent and landed his first 7 figure investment for a client, which later allowed him to create a reality series, “Chasing My Dreams”, which will air this winter 2020.
Listen to the full interview here:
Introduction – Homeless to living your, dream life?
Nathan – There are so many lessons that I’ve learned from being homeless; but really basically I started off thinking I was going to be super successful and then I ended up being homeless, locked out of my car. I hit rock bottom, one of many rock bottoms, and over the course of that time I learned a few things.
On one hand, I learned some things about navigating in the real world. The physical existence of this life; things about leveraging, money, leveraging resources, so that you can live from a place of abundance and not of scarcity.
I also learned some physiological things like meditation and even spiritual things relating to manifestation. When it came to the financial stuff, I realized that, I needed to stop thinking about money the way I was thinking about it. I feel that people generally speaking, either thinks about, money, and there, dream life, when they are in need.
You need Money to live your, dream life
When people or are not living the life of their, dreams, or have lack, they’re not going to be happy; but when they get that, money, they’ll be happy and start living their, dream life.
Then you have other people who demonize, money, and say, money, is not important, money, is the root of all evil (which is actually interestingly regularly misquoted from the Bible). Whatever side of the spectrum you’re on, we can find a middle ground and say, “I need human beings to help me with my mission, with my vision, and my, dreams, and with my goal of living my, dream life. If I need tools, if I need resources, if I need anything that you could possibly imagine, then I need to find a way to get you those resources.
I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.
Myrna – What happened that night you were locked out of your car. Did you start making a plan then?
Nathan – No that the night I remembered an event when I about 7 years old. I was about 7 years old – thinking who do I want to be? What are my interests as opposed to just thinking what profession do I want? This memory caused me to create so many tools for myself, for perspective and for abundance mentality.
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Things like gratitude, things like meditation, and also things like just coaching myself. Going on walks and coaching myself whenever I find myself in a negative thought pattern. I’ll walk round the block or sometimes I’ll walk for miles and I’ll just say okay “Nathan what’s going on, talk to me” then I’ll talk right back.
Myrna – So at seven you started thinking about your interests and what is was you wanted to do? When did you start visualizing your, dream life, and visioning things? You mentioned meditation, tell us about your end of life meditation practice.
We want to transition into visualizing your, dream life, the power of intention, rewriting your old programs and thinking about what you want to be at the end of your life. I guess that’s your end of life meditation correct?
Nathan – When I started figuring out the, money, side of things and helping people get funding, I started realizing that I was helping people get, money, for things that maybe they lost passion in. Maybe that they thought they liked that career and then changed their mind. Sometimes they got the, money, and they started working towards their goal, of the life of their, dreams, and was miserable because it was not their Dharma.
So I tagged into the beginning of my coaching process, this end of life meditation as a way of figuring out who you are. What you want to be doing with your life; just getting really clear. A lot of clarity, so that when you’re walking down that path and you get to the point where you get funding, when you get, money, for your personal expenses and your business expenses, that it is something that just can’t leave you; because it is who you are.
I really resonate with your Life coaching package, where in either your first or second episode where you talk about who am I; I love that process. I will admit, your program is a little better than mine! I just love helping people through that process of clarity. One of the tools I use is, the end of life meditation.
End of Life Meditation to Help you Live the Life of your, Dreams
Take some deep breaths and get into your core self. Get in touch with God, or source energy. Feel that connection, imagine yourself at a late age in life, maybe there’s a beautiful window and you’re looking out through the window.
You’re on a comfortable couch and you’re drinking your cocoa, your tea or your coffee and you’re in your last days let’s say you’re 95 years old. You look back at your life and you start to smile about all the people that you’ve met, and that you’ve connected with.
You look back and you’re feeling wonderful and you’re feeling grateful. You get Goosebumps of gratitude for this beautiful life. You start thinking about how beautiful it would be to just have one little moment to go back in time and just to experience life again, maybe 20 years ago to when you were 75. You start imagining what would it be like to go back to being a young whippersnapper of 75 years old. You ask yourself, was I living my, dream life, 20 years ago? If not, what would I change?
Then you go back 30 years ago to when you was 65 and you take some time there and ask the question. Was I living my, dream life? If the answer is no.
You go back 40 years when you was 55, and 50 years ago to when I was 45 and 60 years ago to when I was 35 and you start thinking about that and you say, what would I do if I had a little bit of time? What would I do differently to live the life of my, dreams.
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I’m very grateful for the time I’ve had here; but at the same time if I could go back, I would be a little bit more courageous. Would I tell that person that I loved them a little bit more. I would go out of my comfort zone and try something new and creative. If I could go back, I would make sure I lived the life of my, dreams. That would be so great and then you open your eyes and your wish has been granted and you get a second chance.
Myrna – Nice that’s a different spin to the one that I know. I know the 85 year old rocking chair test. What is the goal of it exercise?
Failure at living your, dream life.
Nathan – There are a few goals:
One is obviously to get perspective,
Another is continue to have a tool in your tool belt the ability to make tough decisions or to get yourself to do things that you know you should do; but you don’t have the confidence to do.
Myrna – One of your tools is teaching people how to crack the code on their, dream life, and I know you’re a financial person. Now, where is the code to finances? Is that has to do with abundance and scarcity? So talk about this cracking code on living your, dream life.
Cracking the code to financial abundance in your, dream life
Nathen – My life’s mission is to come together with other people and continue to build and learn how to crack the code to living your, dream life, so I’ve cultivated a lot of wonderful tools.
One of these tools is network sharing. We get together and we do that. We crack the code, we continue to ask questions, great questions, create great answers and great solutions.
Being around people who are like-minded and who are maybe five steps ahead of you in certain areas and in other areas you’re five steps ahead, is a great way that I’ve learned to just crack the code. The end of life meditation with the life design process that I teach basically allows you to start by first visualizing, then prioritizing and then planning.
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Nathan – So visualizing is a really important step, because when somebody just goes right into, visualizing the life of their, dreams, they might not know what it is they want to do. I start off by asking them what they want to do with their life, what is their, dream life? But most people don’t know what that is, we have to connect with God.
We have to connect with the Universe, source energy. I like to ask people some things they don’t consider which is preferences and non-negotiables. Preferences and non-negotiables are basically the foundations of your, dream life.
What are your preferences in your day-to-day activities and in your day-to-day life?
Do you want to wake up whenever you want? Go to sleep whenever you want? Or do you want to have a boss that tells you what to do. Do you need structure?
Your preference is ‘No I can’t have a boss’, I need to have my own schedule, do my own thing.
Some people’s preference is to travel the world, they want to be able to work from their laptop, other people are like – no I want to be in my home with my family, I don’t care about travelling the world, as long as I have a stable income that’s what matters to me.
So by knowing your preferences is important in visualizing your, dream life.
You prefer a certain kind of humor and like to be around people every day or you like to be by yourself.
Your non-negotiables may be your purpose. The big, sparkly thing that you want to do like help everybody become successful and you becoming a successful coach, or a motivational speaker etc.
Those are the day-to-day things that are going to really help you thrive on a day-to-day basis, so getting really clear on those things is super important. Once you have Fantasized and done your preferences and non-negotiables, then you have a clear understanding of what you want your, dream life, to looks like.
Myrna – I know that you have a course called Dream University. It’s an online course and you say it’s not like any other course. So tell our listeners about your Dream University and funding and how people can get resources and your course.
How to Plan Fund and Build your, Dream Life
Dream University is an online course that helps you plan fund and build your, dream life, and your dream business. The process that I’m kind of talking about now is loosely related to that course.
The course basically step one is you say okay
‘I’m going to take a step back from trying to be productive’ and ‘I’m going to figure my life out.
I’m going to take some breathing room and I’m going to say, what do I really want to be doing?
What’s going to light me up inside?
What’s going to make me feel great that when I am 95, I can look back on my, dream life, and I have those goose bumps and I feel amazing? I feel grateful and there are no regrets.
Once we we’ve really gotten clear on what it is we want from our, dream life, I have a one-page plan which is the idea of you. It’s a one-page vision. If you take it and you put in your hands or you stick it on your wall or on your desk and you can point at it and say I don’t know how I’m going to make this happen; but if I can make this happen.
I’ll be the happiest person in the entire world. That’s the idea, you have one page, you look at, you’re like that’s it, this page gives me the emotions that I want and I’m going for it, and in the process with all the tools I have, I’m going to strive to fully engage from full abundance and it will feel great.
How to get Funding for your, Dream Business
Step two is getting funding. Now the beauty of this is even if you don’t need funding this is like from my perspective a much more robust version of a business plan, where you have something that is interactive, that you look at and you can use to get funding, basically called a pitch deck. I call it a fill in the blank funding template (which allows you to fill in every single aspect that you need to present a presentation to someone for funding) whether it be an investor grants or crowd funding as well.
This presentation, not only does it work to get you money for your personal expenses like your rent or your mortgage, your bills, your gas, your food, your groceries and so on. You can focus on what you love full-time; but also for your business expenses like if you need to hire people, if you need to buy gear or equipment, if you need to pay rent for a space whatever it is, it allows you to have all the things you need.
So you can work from a place of abundance or scarcity. This business plan is a step-by-step road map to your business goals and, dream life. There are some aspects like the financial aspects that you can use to decide. Do I need money? How much money do I need to live my specific lifestyle?
Some people want to live very simply, some people don’t want to live very simply. They want to have all these special cool neat, unique things – all is great; but you can use it for two purposes. One for your personal life, two for your business life (get funding for your thing)
Step three is to grow and at that point it’s just really about helping people get the right strategies for the things that they want to do. Reverse engineering what their end result is and finding out how they want to do that.
So in business, usually that means building the thing that is the most value that you can provide to the world and then finding where the human needs are. You want to serve humanity and tap into those audiences so that you can serve those people.
Myrna – Tell our audience how they can connect with you on online or to how to join your group or to order your course.
If you guys want to check out Dream University you can go to www.nathen.tv Feel free to text me, my number is 310 807 1998.
Conclusion to building and funding your Dream Life
Thank you so much for tuning in to transform your mind, to transform your life radio hour and podcast as you see I bring you guests that can help you to transform your life. The first thing we need to start with is to visualize the life of your, dreams. That starts in your head. You can’t hold in your hand anything you don’t hold first in your head.
I want to give you a personal invitation to my Facebook Group called Life Coach. We have daily inspirations from me, coach Myrna and from dozens of other coaches who can also help you stay inspired during the week. Please subscribe to the podcast here:
Your Subscription helps to reach a wider audience. You know, we want to help.
If you do not take control of your, emotional intelligence, and thoughts, they will repeat in cycles. We have over 70,000 thoughts per day and 90% of these thoughts repeat over and over. That is why people get stuck in life, reliving the past like Groundhog day.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
Jenny R. Craig, LCSW, BCD is a, transformation, specialist, utilizing her expertise in assisting leaders in creating authentic, profound, long-lasting impact in their organizations and personal lives.
Emotional intelligence, is important because, Strategic planning, does not kick in until the mid-twenties.
Also any huge trauma changes the way the brain works.
As a, transformation, coach we give our clients tools and techniques that can move them through the darkness of being stuck in rewind, and into the light. The light is to find out your true purpose and discover who you really are.
Emotional Intelligence, allows you to do the mental work in living a purposeful life.
Here are four traits of Emotional Intelligence:
* Self Awareness: Knowing what we are feeling and why we are feeling this way.
Self awareness definition: They said that self-awareness is the ability to look inward, think deeply about your behavior, and consider how it aligns with your moral standards and values. When your behavior is out of alignment with your standards, you feel uncomfortable, unhappy and negative.
* Self Management: Handling distressing emotions so that they don’t cripple you. Self-management, which is also referred to as “self-control” or “self-regulation,” is the ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations.
* Empathy: Knowing what someone else is feeling. Being capable of walking in another man’s shoes. Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another’s perspective, to understand, feel and possibly share and respond to their experience. There are more definitions of empathy that include but is not limited to social, cognitive, and emotional processes primarily concerned with understanding others
* Skilled Relationships: There is not a better barometer of, emotional intelligence, than the quality of one’s relationships. When you put the top three skills together, you will have quality and healthy relationships.
Emotional intelligence, refers, to the ability to identify and manage one’s own, emotions, as well as the, emotions, of others.
Emotional intelligence, is generally said to include at least three skills:
emotional awareness,
the ability to identify and name one’s own, emotions
the ability to harness those, emotions, and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving
the ability to manage, emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own, emotions, when necessary and helping others to do the same.
There is no validated, emotional intelligence test.
Test for, emotional intelligence, looks for the general intelligence factor—and many argue that, emotional intelligence, is therefore not an actual construct, but a way of describing interpersonal skills that go by other names.
Despite this criticism, the concept of, emotional intelligence, sometimes referred to as emotional quotient or EQ—has gained wide acceptance. In recent years, some employers have even incorporated, emotional intelligence tests, into their application and interview processes, on the theory that someone high in, emotional intelligence, would make a better leader or coworker.
Conclusion
I am grateful that you have tuned into this podcast from all around the world. I believe that the spirit of God has attracted you here so that you can receive the insights, revelations and knowledge revealed on this broadcast. Whatever you need for this day in your life you will receive. I can truly say that your life will never be the same because a brain that has been expanded with knowledge can never return to it’s original size. I invite you to subscribe to this podcast so that you will receive new podcasts every week with more insights, revelations and knowledge so that you can live your best life now.
Visit me on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com and sign up for a free strategy session.
Author Traci Thomas offers, reflection on her abandonment by her mother in her book, Reflection 4 Rejection. Traci answers the question how does rejection by a natural mother affect the child’s self worth and self esteem for the rest of their life.
On, reflection, I feel that, rejection, by your natural mother, it’s such a unique, unusual, weird, inhumane space to be. It nonetheless served such a great purpose in my life, and what I mean by that is the following. It’s one of those preambles whereas once you have survived this type of, rejection, you pretty much can walk on water, and I mean that literally and figuratively. It’s one of those scenarios and situations very few people ever experience or understand. When you suffer from, abandonment, you’re in your own community and it’s isolating; but yet you’re so powerful at the same time.
With that being said once you overcome this, abandonment, and it is a challenge, it’s a lot to muddle through. However, once you get through it, and you’re on the other side, there’s nothing you can’t do. So in my situation, it’s like a head of bipartisan. I had two scenarios, two lives coexisting at one time. I had a father who had full custody of me at three years old. That’s when my natural, mother, and my dad were divorced back in 1968. I was born in 1965, that was unheard of within the United States. Very few fathers gained custody of their children or their child, so that in itself is a profound statement. That also shows you how little fight my natural, mother, put up to keep me.
I do remember one particular time my, mother, did quote, unquote kidnap me. She did take me when I got off the school bus when I was in kindergarten, and she took me to Philadelphia and thank God my father and the FBI came and rescued me. But even when she’s so-called put forth some effort, to show that she wanted me, it was still a situation where I was locked up in a room, there were German Shepherds downstairs and the FBI had to come and get me. She never really exemplified that she wanted me; but that’s okay and that’s what I explained in the book. It’s perfectly okay, because I define what, abandonment, is. It’s a supernatural definition. I actually give you, hind sights, definitions, elaborations and explanations as to what’s going on. What’s happening, why your natural, mother, abandoned, you. It took me 50 years to figure it out, which is sad, but at least I figured it out.
Wikipedia says that, abandonment issues, causes Abandoned child Syndrome.
Abandoned child syndrome is a proposed behavioral or psychological condition that results primarily from the loss of one or both parents or sexual abuse.
Abandonment issues, may stem from physical (the parent is not present in the child’s life) or emotional (the parent withholds affection, nurturing, or stimulation). The abandoned child syndrome is not recognized as a mental illness.
Mothers, who leave their children, or when a parent is alienated from their children by the other parent (after a bitter divorce, DCHS, or foster care), can cause psychological damage to the child. This damage is reversible, but only with appropriate assistance. Abandoned children may also often suffer physical damage from, rejection, malnutrition, starvation, and abuse.
I want to comment on something you said that’s a little different from my normal association with, abandonment, you said it took you about 50 years to get to the other side and it was very isolating; but once you got to the other side you felt like you could walk on water. Which is a very positive spin on, abandonment, because if you were to take a survey of the, child abandonment, community you will find that most kids end up having a lot of self-esteem issues, they don’t think they’re good enough.
When you feel, abandoned, it’s not your imagination. When you make every effort imaginable to connect or contact your natural mother and every single attempt, every single effort, every single expendable energy that you put forth, the end result is just this repellent. It’s this, rejection, of your natural, mother, not wanting you or your natural, mother, treating you as if you’re a bill collector. Your natural, mother, is literally tolerating you and can’t wait to get you off the phone. When you’re in a scenario like that again and again, it’s so bizarre.
On, reflection, once you’ve been in a situation where you’ve made every effort and did somersaults, headstands, back-flips, anything you can think of to connect with your natural mother, and every single attempt is unproductive and counterproductive. It’s toxic, and it’s unhealthy, because of the way that you feel afterwards. You literally feel as if you’ve been punched in the stomach with every single attempt to get the love of your, mother.
You’re in tears and you’re shaking, and you have anxiety, and then you go through life thinking that you’ve got to kiss every behind in the universe. You have this feeling of inadequacy this feeling of I’m not good enough, there’s something wrong with me. That’s why I wrote the book, because I do not want another human being going through five decades of what I went through. That’s why I engineered and composed the book.
My objective in writing the book, is for someone to have an open mind and instead of going through life telling themselves, my own, mother, didn’t want me. Even though that is true, instead they can tell themselves that they have every right and privilege to not want her either.
Power is something you take, nobody gives you power. You snatch power.
So what I wish to do with this work, with this writing, is to allow an individual to look at being, abandoned, in hindsight. Let’s really look at it and put an autopsy and microscope on, abandonment, for a second. If you really do this it’s not hard at all, you won’t have to go through all these dog and pony shows and tail spins. Kissing this one’s tail, and doing back flips for this person, and making your, mother, love you, trying to buy this person, begging for love, please love me, please like me. You don’t have to go through all of those mental gymnastics. It’s not necessary. I’m trying to save somebody 50 years.
Abandonment, from Relationships
Can this scenario be also transferred to people who are, rejected, period? I mean because, rejection, and being, abandoned, are not only synonymous with, mothers, or parents. Men can reject you, your friends can reject you, jobs can fire you. Is this information transferable?
I placed a laser focus on this particular relationship between a child and a natural, mother. This ironically is not, rejection, and if you read the book you’ll totally comprehend what I’m speaking about. The natural, mother, is not rejecting you, the natural, mother, is rejecting the reminder of neglecting you. The natural, mother, doesn’t even know you. How can somebody reject you when they don’t even know you? That makes absolutely no sense.
I’ve seen that the trauma that it is caused in young lives and almost every aspect of being , abandoned, or, rejection. So it’s kind of good to tell yourself that your natural, mother, didn’t reject you because she doesn’t know you. If you actually do believe that I can understand that it is easier to get to the other side. That’s good, I like that spin.
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What is the main message of your book Reflection for Rejection?
I wrote the book to give some insight to, child abandonment.
What message would you give to that listener of why they should go out and buy the book?
It would be in their best interest even if they don’t get the book, if they just listened to the podcast, because it summarizes the book. It’s their prerogative if they wish to purchase it or not. I mean that’s their choice; but with that being said.
Don’t ever allow another person, place or thing to define your self-worth. Don’t do that. Don’t ever give someone that opportunity or luxury.
I know you talked about your natural mother not really rejecting you because she didn’t know you; but did you touch on psychologically what was happening to her for her to have that unnatural response to her biological daughter?
My father, God bless his soul, was extremely intimidating. He was a very wealthy, powerful, articulate, worldly man. He traveled a lot because he was a computer programmer, so he was extremely I guess very controlling. So I give my, mother, an inkling of understanding, because he was pretty much a womanizer.
I’m not giving her a full 24-hour pass, but I am giving her an hour pass. I can’t really give her a full 24-hour pass, because there are, mothers, who have gone through the same episode and they didn’t react that way.
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One of the things that I noticed talking with you Traci is that I see no evidence of PTSD from being, abandoned, by your, mother. Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls, usually develops for girls who have been sexually abused, neglected, or abandoned. You said that every time you tried it to communicate with your mom, or tried to make her love you, or tried to form a relationship; you felt like you got punched in the stomach. At those times were you ever angry?
What’s so interesting is that I got angry at the end. Like right in the last year. My book goes in chronological order. In the book, I actually highlight the events that have occurred during the last five decades, and what’s so flabbergasting to me is that I didn’t get angry and livid until the very end. I wasn’t angry at her, I was angry at me for participating. I was so livid at myself for wasting so much time, that it took me decades to come down from the humiliation, the frustration, the hurt, the pain, the disappointment, the monotony, and the redundancy.
Getting to the other side, puts you in a disposition where you’re at total complete peace. I call it a, mother, transplant because once you realize why she acts the way she does, once that clicks in your brain, a light bulb goes off and you’re free.
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When you read the book you’ll completely understand what’s going on and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Your, mother, didn’t reject you, she can’t reject you because she doesn’t know you.
Yes, I understand what you’re saying. After you become immune to the, rejection, and you get on the other side of, abandonment, when you get to the other side, you feel empowered like you can walk on water. Nobody else has the capability of hurting you.
Childhood trauma and, abandonment, affects children in many ways.
Childhood trauma, #1
1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder,
spending or gambling, workaholics etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.
Childhood trauma, #2
2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and
yelling at each other? The typical is yelling screaming but
this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like
“you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.
Childhood trauma, #3
3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for
long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they
came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours. There’s anxiety around that.
So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our
kids there home alone.
Childhood trauma, #4
4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – The rape or Molestation could have happened
in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than
the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools
we’re supposed to teach our child another way. If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.
Childhood trauma, #5
5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma from, abandonment. Fault and No Fault, abandonment.
Here are three examples of no-fault, abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24
Here is an example of “Fault”, abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home
and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new
girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.
Childhood trauma, #6
6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to
live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even
includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t
want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was
always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.
Childhood trauma, #7
7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not
fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky.
Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.
8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a
medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time.
Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you
perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful
or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m
worthwhile too.
Childhood trauma, #9
9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved
a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years.
Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma.
Today we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass
Shootings.
10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities.
We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma.
Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they
act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or
the repercussions.
Two examples of sociopaths are Steve Jobs and Tiger woods.
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Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting, is a style characterized by a lack of responsiveness to a child’s needs. Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of their children and they are often indifferent, dismissive, or even completely neglectful.
Child abuse happens when a parent or care giver of a minor child allows, inflicts or permits physical or sexual abuse or allows a situation where there is a risk of physical injury. Child neglect means a minor child lacks adequate care and is danger of physical or psychological harm.
How to build wealth, by clearing your money blocks. Money blocks are negative subconscious beliefs about, money, that limit you from achieving your conscious desires. Hilary Hendershott, wealthcoach talks today on the Transform Your Mind Radio and Podcast on the topic “How to build wealth, by remove your, money blocks.” Hilary was once $600,000 in depth and nowhasa seven figure net worth.
Listen to the full interview here:
Hilary – I found myself in my late 20s withmultiple credit cards and tens of thousands of credit card debt, plus I had a $420,000 in mortgagedebt on a condo. In 2008 that condo in San Jose Californiawent from $430,000 in appraised value to just $190,000. I hadmassiveuncollateralized debt, $72,000in tuition debt and I was the kind ofperson whowould spend money before it came in! I was a massiveoverspender.
Back then I had never heard the term, Money Blocks. Today as a coach and operating from my own, money blocks, I understand that I was an over spender because I had, money blocks.
The definition of, Money Blocks
The definition money blocks: negative subconscious beliefs about, money, that limit you from achieving your conscious desires. Let’s say you’re trying to save, money, but, for whatever reason, you can’t seem to do it. You spend, money, almost as soon as you get it, and you don’t know why.
Hilary – I started gaining clarity on my, money blocks, the day I pulledmy leased BMWinto the gas station and I put my creditcard into the machineto get gas, and my credit card wasdeclined. I tried another card, it was declined,I put the third card it was also declined. At that point, all my creditcards are maxed out and no one would give meany more credit cards.
My bank accounts were empty and hadalready emptied out my 401k. I had spentall this good moneychasing after bad while trying to dig myself out of this hole;because as my income was declining in2008, and my debt was increasing. So I literally couldn’t even put a tank ofgas in my beautiful convertible BMW thatday.
How I became an expert on clearing, money blocks
Hilary – Idecided to become an expert on, money,psychology. I really made a decision thatdayand I said“I‘m not willing to live like this anymore”. I understood, how to build wealth, from the beginning. I understood that our, money blocks, are as much a function of linguistics, thewords that we useto describe, money, than it is about our upbringing.
So, when I said “there’s neverenough money” I was speaking it into the atmosphere. That became a self fulfilling prophesy. There’s never enough money was my, money operating system. I trademarked thisterm, Money Operating System. Just likeyour computer has an operating system, we all have a, money operating system. That is sort of another way of saying, money blocks.
How money blocks are formed
As a child we hear adult say:
money, doesn’t grow on trees,
you have to work hard for, money
money, isthe root of all evil
Money, is evil and rich people are greedy.
I wonder who she had to screw to get that job.
You see your parents fight about, money, all the time.
Whatever it is, everyone will have a different set of, money blocks; because not everyone has thesame, moneyoperating system.
As a financial planner, I learnt, how to build wealth, through real estate investments. Iactually had a six figure income; but spent more than I earned.
How to build wealth to a six figure income
There was one year I earned $120,000 in income and I spent $150,000. I attended a talk at a FinancialPlanner Conference and this woman, who is nowa personal friend of mine, talkedabout, money blocks, and, money, psychology. She used the term“over spender”. I had never heard about, money blocks, before that talk. Being an over-spender is one way to manifest, there is never enough money.
Another way you canmanifest, there’s never enough money, isby being an,under earner. There are someof you listening to this podcast; you just can’t seem to earnwhat you know you’re worth in themarketplace. You are actually sabotaging yourself.
You deliberately pick the jobs that areunder earning.
Youunder promote yourself,
You don’t askforraises,
You get contract gigs and spendsix months unemployed.
Hilary – To make a long story short, I put what I learned into practice – I paid off all mydebt and then I got really honest and transparentabout where I was financially.
Ilived in my mother’s guest room for a while to make it happen. I lostthat condo and I paid off the debt. I started puttingmy money where my mouth was in terms ofbuilding my business. I now run a registered investmentadvisory firm. We are all women, owned andoperated.
My business earns about amillion dollars a year.My husband and I just share thenumbers; because I want tonormalize peopletalking about, money. My husband and I have a house in Silicon Valley that’sworth two million dollars and ifyou put together all of our otherinvestments, we’re definitely what youwould call financially independent. We have, financial freedom.
How to Build Wealth: Have your, money work for you.
How to build wealth, from having no money. Now we have, money, work for us; but it’s askill set that I didn’t always have.I have found out that my purpose on thisplanetis to coach people, especiallyentrepreneurs. For those people who runbusinesses,the sky is the limit for themto remove their, money blocks, whereverthey may be.
I figured it out. I sort of put myselfin, money, boot camp.I didn’t buya cup of coffee in a coffee shop for twoyears. When I was in boot camp, I gotvery conscious about what I was sayingabout, money. I now use linguistics as the foundation of my coaching. Anyone I coach, the first thing we do is remove “I can’t afford that.” from our vocabulary.
Those words are notallowed to come out of your mouth.You either say “Oh great, let me see how I can work that out”or “I‘m going to put that in my spending plan.”
Myrna – That’s awesome. Your language about,money, is very powerful.Let’s talk about, money mindsetblock. My audience on the radio are mostly African American and sometimes they are in the poverty space. Our community is predisposed to over spending. We want thenice things, we want the designer shoes and bags.
I was talking to a guy one day, hewas wearing nice running shoesand he said they were Kanye Westshoes and cost$400.I couldn’t help thinking what was his, money mindset, to spend $400 on Kanye West running shoes?
What is a Money Mindset Block
Myrna – Whatexactly is a, moneymindset block, and how does thatshow itself for somebody that’slooking at their spouse and saying maybe they have a,money mindset block?
Hilary – First of all, the idea ofthe, money operating system, is the lead, money block. For me itwas “there’s never enough money” and soall my, money blocks, are going to harmonize with thatparticularlead, money block. For example, let me just say each individualis different and I don’t mean toanswer questions for someone who isn’teven here; but let’s take the example ofthe person who spent $400on Kanye West running shoes and maybe can’t payrent, so there’s an imbalancethere.
If youask that person why he spent $400 on running shoes, he might say:
I need to have this to be sociallyaccepted,
I need these shoes so that people can think I‘m wealthy,
I needto have these shoes, so that people can think I‘mpowerful.
And if you really look, it’s probably notbecause we need another pair of shoes or another designer bag or any other another brand name to become socially acceptable. It’s an infallible hole that you can’t fill with designer shoes. Instead, if youcan repositionin your mind, if you’re really tiredof your, money, going the way that it’sgoing, if you’re sort offed up and a little bit disgusted withthe fact that you know you’re a smartcapable educated, well-intentioned person and money isn’tworking for you in your life, this is, how to build wealth, you clear your, money mindset block.
What are your 7 steps to build wealth?
Myrna – You have 7 steps to, wealth, is that how you coach someonethat maybe have an overspending problemor they have a, money mindset block, problemor their, money operating system, is notworking properly?
Step 1- Permission: Alleffective coaching starts withpermission. The first step is to decide you have, money blocks, to make the decisionthat you’re ready for change. There’s no denying that you’re giving upthe Kanye West shoes and the brand name bagsand other creature comforts. A lot ofpeople who make financial transformation to, build wealth, find that they have to move.
Theyactually need a lower cost place to live;they need to give up the beautifulleased car so they can pay cash for acar and don’t have monthly payments. You arelowering your standard of living in thebeginningand that takes courage. It takeswillingness to sacrifice,so after you’ve made a decision then wecatalog your vocabulary about money, this is really important.
Step 2– Your money vocabulary – no one ever wants to talk about, money. You need to talk about money, to find out what your friend isdoing; what’s working, what’s not working.You can provide advice or ask for adviceif you want. What do yousay to yourself about, money? Maybe some people think in picturesabout, money, or maybe it’s just anemotion. You think aboutspending, money, and you get excited; youthink about saving, money, and you get sad.
I have myparticipants that I coach, actually spenda month doing a, money, conversation log. What do you say to your partner about,money? How do you tell your customersabout, money?For example, if you’re a realestate agent and someone wants to payyou a fourpercent commission instead of a sixpercent commission, what do you say?What are the actual words that arecoming out of your mouth?
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So, let’s get specific about what yousay about, money.We’ve got a, money map,we’ve actually gotkind of your, money blocks, in black andwhite in front of us.
Now, we can really start the coaching.So, we have sort of highlighted and done the private detective workfiguring out, what’s your actual,money blocks.
I‘ll give you an example, someone I coached found thiscounterintuitively. She felt rich whenchecks would get mailed to her, so shewould put the checks in her desk and notsend them to the bank. Isn’t that strange? I can’t even identify that block,that is like a serious, money, scarcitything.
Myrna – Did she not know the checks are only paperunless you get the, money?
Hilary – No. It was completely just somethingshe was blind to,until we did the, money, conversation logand she saw it.
She saw it for what it was and she’slike oh my God, this is crazy behavior;but no one’s ever asked me about my,money, behavior, so I never thought aboutit.
Step 3 – logistics of money. I don’t teach budgets, I thinkbudgets are overwhelming and toodetailed for most people.I think that people spend a lot of timedesigning a budget and then theynever honor it or live by it, becauseit’s too restrictive .
Step 4 – Earn money – You can’t categorize every singleexpenditure you have, you’re a busyperson with lots of responsibilities. So instead, I teach a system I callautomation. It’s sort of like theequivalent ofirrigation in your garden – little hosesbring, money, to the places where it needsto be. People love it.
Then what’s left over, Youspend from oneaccount and that way when that accountgets to zero,you’re not at zero, your money goals arealreadyfunded.
That’s the plan and honestly mostpeople get through the planbecause it’s very front-loaded. It is alot of work in the beginning; but onceyou set it up, just like irrigation, ithappens everytime you turn the hose on.People pay a lot of, money, to coaches to figure out how to earnmoney and they can’t figure out whytheir, money, still doesn’t work for themand it’s because they don’t have thesesteps.
Step 5 – The ASK mindset – Learning to ask is a mindset . You can ask for a million things :
you can ask your credit cards companies for a lower interest rate,
you can ask your insurance for a lower premium,
you can ask your memberships for a discount.
You can ask for a discount at Star Buck. Just go ask. The point is not whether you get the discount or not, it’s having the mindset to ASK. We do a challenge inside my coaching program called “Get 100 No’s” You win the game by getting a hundred no’s and my assertion is, It will change your life. You’re building strength your, money blocks, are going to be different. For some, you’ll find that your, money blocks, are operationally systematized in your business processes.
Step 6 – Clearing the, money blocks. in your business – As an entrepreneur you’re either under charging for your products or services or you’re not spending enough effort getting prospects into your funnel. Whatever it is, there’s some part of the process that’s broken for you. My training is called “Eight Ways Business Owners can Transform Revenue into Personal Wealth”, it is anon-demand training from October 8th to 15th.
So, you definitely want to go grab it. This training is really for entrepreneurs who are sick and tired of working so hard for the, money, and having not much to show for it.
Step 7 – Protect – Once you clear your, money blocks, you can, build wealth, by protecting what you built.
I just want to show you how to climb out of that trap in this training and the great news is – it’s totally FREE.
I want to encourage you, please subscribe to the ‘Transform Your Mind’ YouTube podcast’s channel. Definitely trying to grow our audience.
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So how does it feel to be in a relationship with someone with, adult ADHD?
Here is one woman’s story af adult adhd
I dated 4 men with, adult ADHD, or ADD. One was predominantly hyperactive; two inattentive, one likely mixed. I fall under the vagueness of “mixed” myself, which means I show characteristics of hyperactivity — the impulsiveness, the occasional non-stop talk, the rash decisions — and inattention: the fuzziness, the daydreaming, the drifting off mid-conversation.
I learned the, ADHD, tricks early on like, touching him when I needed his attention and he was working. I learned to move my fingers from his face to mine — the universal signal for eye contact — when he began to drift off.
The two inattentive men, naturally tended toward household chaos, an inability to finish projects, and a desperate need for legal stimulants.
Understanding is the key to calming the chaos in the relationship.
I’m curious about, Adult ADHD symptoms. Does kids with, ADHD, become adults with, adult ADHD?
For clarity let’s make sure people understand the acronym for, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Individuals can have, attention deficit disorder, without the hyperactivity and that disorder is ADD. Things to keep in mind about, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or, Adult ADHD, is that, yes you can have, ADHD, in childhood and about 60% of kids grow up still having the same symptoms and become, adult ADHD. One of the interesting pieces about this is that it’s important for folks not to misconstrued information about what they’re seeing the adult exhibit. Certain characteristics of, Adult ADHD, can mimic other disorders like for example Thyroid disease.
Does the 40% of kids who don’t have, adult ADHD, become cured?
Not necessarily , they could have developed coping skills to manage the, ADHD, behavior so the symptoms were minimized. They could have also learned strategies on how to behave or how to compensate for the symptoms.
What are the different types of, Adult ADHD?
When you look at the diagnostic and statistical manual that psychologists use. It gives you clarity on how, Adult ADHD, is diagnosed. There are different types 3 types of symptoms that we see in, ADHD.
Inattention
Impulse Control
Hyperactivity
We have to go through the process and can’t have people diagnosing themselves or their children or anyone else with the disorder. Sometimes you have symptoms because people don’t have appropriate amounts of minerals in their body or they might be subject to low levels of magnesium. Things like that or people might have other diseases that might mimic, ADHD symptoms, so get these things ruled out with blood work.
ADHD in adults could mean you have an, ADHD, partner.
Here is what happening in their brain. What exactly is happening in the brain to cause someone to develop symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?
The Adult ADHD brain has impaired activity in four functional regions of the brain.
Frontal Cortex. This region controls high-level functions: …
Limbic System. This region is located deeper in the brain. …
Basal Ganglia. …
Reticular Activating System.
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To test for, adult ADHD, one has to look at the functions of the brain. The neurotransmitter in the brain is affected in ADHD. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for how we organize our cognitive flexibility and being able to control ourselves and things that come into our frame of reference.
The Basal Ganglia helps to regulate communication within the brain, sending signals from one neuron to the other and is responsible for our motor control movement. The Basal Ganglia is also responsible for regulating emotional volatility and the Reticular Activating System is our major relay system. It controls the many pathways that enter and leave the brain and is responsible for arousal and consciousness.
Dr Gray who is the author of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus wrote an article in which he claims that men with, Adult ADHD, have problems committing to women because of the disorder. Do you agree with that statement?
No, not at all. I think there are other reasons that men can’t commit to women. Dr Gray is trying to give these men a pass. I would love to see his research.
Does, ADHD, medications cure the disorder?
Medications for, ADHD, are non-stimulant and stimulant meds depending on what the individual the parents would choose. I always think of other Alternatives besides the use of pharmaceuticals. I would rather use in a non-medication treatment or neuro feedback to help with symptoms of, ADHD. Bio feedback can cure the disorder, medication just masks or controls but never cures.
if you give anyone who clearly has, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, medication for 6 months and the other Bio Feedback for 6 months, you will see the difference in the treatment results.
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Does internet pornography rewire men’s brain to have, Adult ADHD?
I came across an article from Dr Gray and he was specifically talking about men who develop, Adult ADHD, because of pornography. He said pornography is re wiring men’s brain and causing them to develop, ADHD. He said pornography also blocks love and connection with their partner.
One out of ten American children have been diagnosed with ADHD,
One out of seven American women over 55 will develop dementia,
Statistics reveal a greater risk of ADHD in children of divorced parents, particularly when boys are missing the regular influence of their fathers or their mothers are unable to find happiness
You can use your, intuition, in the, transformation, of your, business, by paying attention to signs. There’s signs like for example, you open a magazine and there’s something that pops out at you or a song comes on the radio and it triggers something you were asking the universe for an answer.
Jenny Fenig specializes in empowering creative women, entrepreneurs, to increase their confidence, impact, money and time-freedom by mixing modern and ancient practices. Jenny spent the first decade of her career in the corporate space as a public relations executive and event producer. Jenny then shifted her focus to working with, self-employed women, helping them package their magic to exponentially grow their, business, income and joy. She’s proud to lead the most trailblazing online community for transformational coaches, consultants, creatives and wellness professionals working with the energy of their intuition, the moon, and the seasons. Jenny is the author of “Get Gutsy” and also a podcast host. She was a Silver Stevie Award Winner for Coach of the Year.
Listen to the full interview here:
How Monpreneurs can use signs for Business Transformation
A mompreneur is a mom who is an, entrepreneur, working her business from home while raising her kids. A great visual is kid in one hand and phone in the other!
I tell you it’s actually one of the most beautiful things I know.
Myrna – You mentioned, intuition, and you mentioned vision and clairvoyance in your bio, can you share how, intuition, can help, entrepreneurs, in the, transformation, of their, brand.
Jenny – You can use your, intuition, for, business transformation, by paying attention to signs. There’s, signs, like you’ll open a magazine and there’s something that pops out to you or a song comes on the radio and it triggers something you were asking the universe for an answer.
Let’s say you’ve been struggling with something or pondering a question, you can get your answer from daily living. These, signs, will continue to be around you all the time you just have to to open to the universe talking to you. You’ll be in a conversation and someone will drop a line and you would be like that’s exactly what I needed to hear that day, so I’m a big believer of using, intuition, and, signs, to get answers to the, transformation, of your brand.
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You don’t need to be drinking from a fire hose, we’re living in a world with so much information, the news cycle never ends. Social media never goes to sleep.
So let’s connect the dots on, signs, and, intuition. Your mindset has to be open for instruction and inspiration. You have to have a mindset for, transformation.
Myrna – I received a, sign, one day I was reading the newspaper. I saw an article about a Life Coach. That was my, sign, and I used my, intuition, to know that becoming a, Life Coach, was my purpose.
How do entrepreneurs use intuition for transformation
This is where your own spiritual practice comes into play. You can just say to God or the Universe “I’m open, I’m ready, show me the way. Show me a, sign, help me use my, intuition, to know where to go next in the, transformation, of my, business. Then just open up just open up and trust and know that the answer may not come on your exact timetable, like within in the next hour; but it will come.
We are always being guided. We all have angels and guides that show you these, signs, and inspirations.
As women we get up get up and put on those heels and go to work Monday through Friday from nine to whenever, because that’s the game. That would be very much kind of the setup of the, sun. The, sun, is going to always rise in the East and set in the West. Women are not built to work with, sun, energy.
How women can use the feminine energy of the moon for transformation
On the other hand, when we look at the, moon, it is a more, feminine energy.
Women are very connected to energy of the, moon. The, moon, is in a different place in the sky every night.
It’s just so fascinating to me that as women our energy changes during the lunar cycle, just like the, moon’s, energy changes during the lunar cycle. I was never taught this growing up, it was something I learned over time. I was forcing myself to show up every day and be the same time like the, sun. I was doing this for decades.
How to use the phases and energy of the, moon, as, entrepreneurs
There are four main phases of each lunar cycle:
There’s 13 moons in a year and there’s 12 months in a year.
We go through a full lunar cycle when we go from a, new moon, back into another, new moon. The, moon, is always changing.
The, moon, is always changing and growing in terms of her light in the sky. When that light diminishes, we go through that entire lunar cycle and so at the beginning of a cycle we have what’s called a, new moon. When you see the light on the right side of the, moon, that’s when you know it’s a, new moon, you’re in a new phase.
This is when women can start their, transformation, journey because they can harness the lunar energy really tap into their vision.
New moon and Transformation
During the, new moon, phase, you will be resting, and renewing. This is where, transformation, takes place. You will be saying I want to put my energy and my focus for this upcoming lunar cycle on this project.
You can use a, moon, cycle magic tracker to help you use the phases of the, moon, for your, business, transformation. You could say, the date of the, new moon, is this, so I should be feeling this. My, intuition, should be this and my intention for this, new moon, should be this.
Setting a plan for your Transformation Art
My intention is, I’m going to be open
I’m going to be open to, signs
I’m going to be courageous
Get tactical on goals and vision.
Set a promotional plan for this, business transformation.
During this phase, I’m going to ramp up my health and fitness practice by ensuring that I sweat five times a week
The next phase of the, moon, cycle is the Half Moon. It is 7 days to a week after the, new moon. This is called a first quarter, moon. This energy is is connected to personal growth, action and commitment. This is where you make a plan for personal growth to help with the, transformation, of your, business. You take action on a next step, and you make a commitment to the, transformation, of your brand.
You’re going to check back in and say I’m going to go back and look at my intention that I set in the, new moon, phase and look back at my goals and see how am I am doing. How far have I come in my, transformation? If your measure is not up to your goals, this may be a time to take action and double down.
Maybe you realize it’s time to make a shift, because you realize you’re not in alignment or the world has changed and you need to make some pivots. You also don’t want to be anchorless where you can get thrown off course when the winds of the storm come. That would knock any of the progress you made in your, transformation, back to ground zero.
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The Full Moon and, Transformation
A week after the half moon, about seven days later, you’re going to get to the, full moon. We all know what the full moon looks like, it’s glorious. That’s when we’re in our fullest power. The moon is in her fullest Power. My sign is Taurus so I love the, full moon in Taurus.
As women we all went through our bleeding years where we had a menstrual cycle. The energy of a, full moon, is connected to the energy of ovulation. It’s the few days in our cycle where we could conceive a child.
That’s the energy that the, moon, is putting out and we can you can tap into it. We can tap into the, transformational energy, of the, full moon, and 10x the, transformation, of our brand.
You are hot stuff during this phase of the, full moon, cycle. Everything you touch can turn to gold; but you got to go for it.
You got to send that email,
you got to place that phone call,
you got to go to the event
put your name in the hat
send the proposal
Whatever it is, you got to believe in yourself and be willing to make those bold moves and bold decisions for the, transformation, of your company and brand. That’s the energy of the, full moon.
The next lunar phase is the, last quarter moon . The, last quarter moon, the energy of that phase of the cycle is let go to rise higher. If you invested time and energy into your health and wellness it is the time to see those results. Rise higher in your relationships, rise higher in your financial growth.
Let go of what didn’t happen and focus on the next cycle of the, New moon, for those projects.
We have a coach certification program to help life coaches in the, transformation, of their coaching, business. I call this co-creating and coaching with the cosmos. We’re really tuned into this framework called the magic makers method.
Myrna – I’ve been intimately connected with the, full moon, because the, full moon, affects the tides and our internal system which is made of 70% water; but I didn’t pay any attention to the other phases of the moon like then, new moon, or the, last quarter moon.
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How Can women entrepreneurs build confidence by learning to distinguish between their inner voice, and their, inner critic?
Jenny – The, inner voice, it’s really that ability to get still and to get quiet which is so important for women, entrepreneurs. We’ve got eight million notifications coming in on our phone and it’s buzzing on our computer and the noise is everywhere. So we need to clear out and have a regular practice where we get quiet and get still so we can hear our, inner voice.
Listen to that, inner voice, to know and feel what’s pulling you forward and what’s pulling you back. We have that connection with our bodies and when you start working with nature, working with the seasons, working with cosmic energy, you’ll find that place inside of yourself again and you’ll be able to distinguish between that inner knowing and the, inner critic.
The, inner critic, is that gremlin in your head that stops your, transformation
You’ll never be good enough
You’re making a mistake
You don’t belong there
You’re screwing it up
They’re all laughing at you
I could never put my message out there, because there could be some mean person who wants to dump on me and I can’t handle it that. Your, business cannot get to a, transformation, cycle with the, inner critic, in your head.
I love the book “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert she lays it out there’s, it’s really about guidance. Creative people we create through ideas right and we need ideas to come to us from our, inner voice, which is our source.
When we get ideas from our, inner voice, and we don’t act on it, we can’t get mad when someone else become successful from an idea we didn’t act on.
You can purchase Jenny’s book “Get Gutsy” and her coaching certification program called Magic Makers coach certification by visiting her website magicmakerscoach.com.
The Magic Makers coaching method, we help Coaches understand and master the craft of intuitive coaching. It’s a specific type of coaching and then we teach you how to master the craft of a business.
How to make money, using the laws of attraction. As I did all these different, meditations, what happened to me was I was able to release out of my body and mind, all this inner turmoil and figure out, how to make money. I found my creativity, love and the wisdom that we all have within us. It was hugely successful to say the least that I found those, meditations.~Pragito Dove
Listen to the full interview here:
Bio
Pragito Dove is an internationally recognized Author, Hypnotherapist, Coach and Speaker with over 20 years’ experience. Pragito helps entrepreneurs, leaders, and CEO’s align their mindset on, how to make money, allow more peace, time and financial freedom. She shows you how to change your money blueprint, recondition your mind for automatic abundance, and use Spiritual Laws of Attraction to create real world success.
Pragito – It didn’t start off so great. I could tell you I had a very challenging childhood. I had a cruel mother and my father didn’t protect me. I just adored my father; but he was not in his power. He didn’t stand up for himself and didn’t stand up for me, so basically I got trodden all over by my mother. I was actually terrified of her; so what I did to cope was to shut down my heart and live in my head.
I had a lot of fear, I had a lot of anger and pain in my heart. I realized even as a young child that I was just going to have to sort of stick it out so to speak until I got old enough to do something about it.
In my early 20s, I heard about this Zen master called Osho in India. He had a wide range of, meditation techniques, including expressive, meditation. I started doing these, meditations, because I really needed to learn, how to make money, and release all those turbulent emotions that I’d stuffed down.
There are several Meditation Techniques on How to Make Money
There was a laughter, meditation to activate the, law of attraction money
A fearless, meditation, for crying and releasing
There was a dancing, meditation, for joy
A gibberish, meditation, to just get out all the junk
Also a dynamic, meditation, great for dumping out anger and
A humming, meditation.
As I did all these different, meditations, what happened to me was I was able to release out of my body mind, all this inner turmoil and found inner peace. I found my creativity, love and the wisdom that we all have within us. It was hugely successful to say the least that I found those, meditations.
Myrna – How many years did that take you to release all the hurt?
Pragito – Well, it was a process.
It was just an unbelievable transformation that happened to me. I saw how it was possible for me, so I trained to teach all these, meditations, to others as well. I realized I could create a business and help others use the, law of attraction money, and that’s become my mission.
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Hypnotherapy vs Meditation
Myrna – What exactly is, hypnotherapy, and how is it different from, meditation?
Pragito – Well, what I do with the, hypnotherapy, is I take people on a guided journey deep into their subconscious mind (because that is where the solutions to the problem lay).
Now, if we take, money, let’s say someone is always broke or use his/her credit cards and pay off the credit card; but then goes back in the same cycle. That was me actually. I would pay off the credit card and then it’d be back on the credit cards again. Always getting to the same place like an inner ceiling and not being able to get past that.
What we can do in the, hypnotherapy, session is go to the root of the problem and find out what is going on with their, law of attraction money, what they learned about, money as a child.
Myrna – My last interview, we discussed, money blocks. I don’t want to do too much into that because I had a whole episode on, money blocks; but would that be considered another, money block, or is there a different word for this particular blueprint like, law of attraction money?
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Using Hypnotherapy to remove Money Blocks
Pragito – The, money block, is what’s blocking you from making money. The blueprint is your beliefs and what’s guiding you. Like a blueprint for a construction project, you’re told this is the way life is and you believe it because that’s what you’re told.
I have to tell you something very interesting. I’ve been doing, hypnotherapy, for over 23 years. It’s not about, making money, at all. It’s about love. It’s about deserving, a lot of us believe I am not deserving, I am not worthy. Another way, ‘I’m not enough, I don’t deserve wealth.
Myrna – I agree, Michelle Obama in her book – “Becoming”, talked about not being enough a lot. Even when she was first lady and even when she was a lawyer and successful; because she started off in the poor parts of Chicago, she felt she wasn’t enough and she felt that she didn’t deserve it.
As a hypnotherapist, what kind of work do you do to remove that, money block, blueprint and activate the, law of attraction money?
Pragito – Your, money, blueprint is sometimes formed in the womb! The child can learn, how to make money, from their mother. The mother doesn’t want it or maybe the father doesn’t want it, because it’s all energy. We’re all transmitting energy all the time and then the child arrives. So I take my clients into a more relaxed state; but not going out. They’re still present and I ask the wisdom of their body, the wisdom of their heart and their higher self to bring forward for us the, money block.
Pragito – The good thing about, hypnotherapy, is because you’re working at the root, when we’ve healed everything, it never ever comes back.
How to Make Money using The Laws of Attraction
Myrna – Why is it important for an entrepreneur to understand how the, Law of Attraction money, works and to invest in themselves? Do they have to start by being in a, hypnotherapy, session for them to understand their, money, blueprint?
Pragito – Well it’s just that the, hypnotherapy, can help to make it all go quicker. That’s what the, hypnotherapy, can help with; but the place to start is with the awareness. It’s a three-step process.
The first step is “Ask for what you want”. However, you have to be clear, you need clarity on what you want.
Then you have to focus on what you want and activate the, law of attraction money. You have to focus on it and let people know you want it. Get pictures of what you want. One tip I give is, Do not ask for, money, because the universe doesn’t really understand what you mean by, money. Do you want a bag of, money, to fall on your head one day? Is that what you want? It’s much more powerful to ask what you want the, money, to buy. For instance, I want a Lexus car or I want to go on a cruise.
Step 3 is “allowing” This is the most difficult step and it’s a step where most people fall down. You have to allow what you want to come to you. This is where the, meditation, is helpful. One of the, meditation techniques I teach with, meditation, is learning to witness the mind. You learn to misidentify from the mind, because the thoughts of the mind actually are not real. They are like shadows, like when you walk down the street on a sunny day and you can see your shadow, that’s what thoughts are. They’re like shadows, they are not real and they’re often not true. The mind says things like “you can never have a Lexus, you’re broke.”
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What you learn to do with the, meditation, work is to observe, witness or watch the mind. Learning to misidentify from it so that you don’t get caught up in believing what the mind is saying and you can just relax and say “thank you mind,” and just let the thoughts pass-by.
Those are the five magic words for the mind. Let the mind pass-by, just let it pass-by.
Myrna – That reminded me I used to work with automatic negative thoughts and when I would hear the mind telling me something, I would talk back to it, because it keeps repeating all the time and then you talk back to it – I would say you better stop.
Pragito – Yes that’s good, that’s right. You better cut that out.
Good Vibes activate the, Law of Attraction Money
If we look at the, Law of Attraction money, on a scale of one to ten, one being our most negative vibes and ten being our most positive vibe, All the, law of attraction money, does is it matches. It’s a one trick pony, that’s all. It doesn’t care who you are or what you want. If you’re some famous Hollywood actor or a rickshaw driver in Calcutta, it doesn’t care.
All it does is match your energy. We really need to pay attention to our emotional state which is in the subconscious. With 95% of our thoughts being in the subconscious, if we transmit anger, guess what we get back, anger. If we’re transmitting fear, that’s what we get back. So we have to pay attention to our vibes. Our only job is to keep our vibes positive.
There are many ways to do that and one of my favorite ways is the laughter, meditation. Well I do that a lot. That’s good and fantastic, because laughter really helps to keep your high vibes and then you’re in your positive energy which is the, law of attraction money, state. At this point, your possibility of attracting, money, is very high.
Whereas when you’re in a negative state, of course it becomes very low. The most important thing is to be aware of your emotional state. We want to be aware of the thoughts of the mind; but that’s only about five percent of it. It’s the emotional state that is the most powerful and so here’s another tip if you really want something and you need, money, to buy.
Let’s say you’ve got this really dinged up old car to take your kids to school and you need a decent car. So you say to the universe “look I really need a good car and you say it with a lot of emotion and with a lot of energy. “I really need a really good car”. Your chances of getting what you want go up astronomically when you put emotion behind it.
But if you just say “well I’d like to have a Lexus, it’s on my list but I don’t care. There’s no real emotion behind it, then you’re not going to get a Lexus. You might still attract it, but you won’t get it as quickly as someone who’s very passionate about what they want and puts a lot of feeling into asking for it.
Pragito – The, meditations, are for manifesting peace, prosperity and passion. Meditation, is being in the present moment and, meditation techniques, are important. The, meditation techniques, are there to help us and remind us to be in the present moment. Why do we want to be in the present moment? Because first of all we’re aware of our feeling state, the feelings are always in the present moment and when we have that present moment awareness, we have the power of choice.
We can choose. If we find our vibes are down, then we could say, I need to watch a funny video or comedy’. ‘I need to get my vibes up right now, etc. That awareness gives you that choice. Let’s say for example we feel really angry towards somebody, so it’s not a good idea to talk to somebody when you’re angry or when you feel angry with them.
In the book, I give suggestions for what you can do when you feel angry. There are two techniques in particular where you can dump your anger out in the sacred context of a, meditation technique, in the first stage. Then in the second stage, you sit in silence and you find it much easier to sit in silence when you’ve let the lid off the pressure cooker. So, to speak and get rid of a lot of emotional turmoil, it’s very easy to drop down. You will find inner peace in calm, your inner wisdom, love, creativity and all these good things.
Meditation Techniques to Calm Anger
From that place you can decide what to do about this irritating person that’s annoyed you. Do you need to talk to them? If you do need to talk to them, then you talk to them from that place of peace and calm, because that will help them become calm and peaceful; because normally they would be reacting to your energy. Then, the whole thing is just a big mess; but when you take responsibility that you feel angry and that it’s not going to help to either dump your anger on somebody else or stuff it down. You do the, meditation technique, you’re nice, calm and very likely to come up with a creative way to handle the situation.
That is perfect for marriages because a lot of people in intimate relationships blow up and it doesn’t ever go anywhere.
Myrna – Tell our listening audience how they can get a copy of your book. Also, tell them how they can reach you to do any of your, hypnotherapy, sessions coaching and things like that because I’m pretty sure you get results.
Pragito – The book is on Amazon. Actually this book was just released in August and it’s already a number one bestseller.
Myrna – Good for you, congratulations.
Pragito – Thank you. To find me, you go to my website www.discovermeditation.com/contact you can sign up for my laughing Buddhist Network newsletter and you get two free Gifts.
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