Myrna Young hosts personal development coach Nick Brancato to explore the concept of the Total Difference Score (TDS) and its impact on your relationship DNA. They discuss how prioritizing various aspects of life, from spirituality to career, can create alignment or highlight differences in partnerships. Nick shares insights from his book “Prioritize Us,” emphasizing the importance of awareness and communication to ensure relationship harmony. The conversation reveals practical ways to prevent priority drift and deepen emotional connections, offering listeners valuable tools to foster healthy relationships.
Download the podcast Here:
Key Takeaways
Understand the concept of the Total Difference Score (TDS): A relationship credit score that helps couples decode their relationship DNA and improve their alignment through the Prioritize Us test.
Emphasize self-awareness and communication: Regularly check in on priorities to prevent “priority drift” and build stronger emotional connections.
Apply the framework to different life areas: Use the TDS framework for not only romantic relationships but also family dynamics, work settings, and personal growth.
Unlocking Relationship Potential with the Total Difference Score (TDS)
Aligning interests and priorities is often easier said than done in relationships. Nick Brancato, a personal development coach, emphasized the significance of identifying and aligning priorities to foster deeper connections with partners on the Transform Your Mind podcast. His innovative approach, termed the Total Difference Score (TDS), functions as a “relationship credit score,” offering couples practical insights into how closely aligned they are or understanding their relationship DNA.
Nick described the scoring system: “You can get a score of zero to 50. Zero means you’re perfectly aligned, which never happens. It’s like one in a trillion. And 50 means you view the world from basically opposite perspectives.”
The TDS allows couples to objectively view your relationship DNA and decide if to stay and work or cut and run. By assigning ranks to ten core life priorities, individuals uncover mismatches and synergies. These include career, communication, spirituality, and more. A low score signals alignment, while a high score suggests room for growth.
Nick explained, “Most people don’t know how to measure the strength of their relationship beyond sort of vague emotions. And this is like your relationship credit score instantly tells you how aligned you are, what’s working, and what needs improvement.” By fostering these discussions, couples illuminate their differences and begin a journey towards greater understanding.
Relationship Coaching: Learn Why Your Total Difference Score (TDS) is Like Your Credit Score
Preventing Priority Drift Understand your Relationship DNA
Often, partnerships face “priority drift” — a gradual shift in what each person values. It occurs when priorities go unspoken or remain unchecked. “When things are at equilibrium, it accounts for the priority drift,” Nick stated. To combat this phenomenon, he encouraged regular “small, medium, and large check-ins” as essential practice in relationships.
Nick shared his personal approach: “My wife and I have a hot beverage ritual… we drink them. No devices, no talking about other people, and we just check in with each other.”
These check-ins help partners recalibrate and maintain alignment, ensuring that changing priorities don’t lead to misunderstandings or resentment. Nick stressed the value of continuous conversation: “We need to know those differences so that when you’re spending time on your personal growth, I don’t feel neglected.”
Creating set times for meaningful dialogue fosters transparency, offering partners the support needed to navigate life’s complexities and transitions, thereby enhancing emotional intimacy.
Sponsored Ad Mint Mobile
- Say buh-bye to your overpriced wireless plan’s jaw-dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you.
- All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text, delivered on the Nation’s largest 5G network.
- Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number, along with all your existing contacts.
- Ditch overpriced wireless and get 3-months of unlimited service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month.
- This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get this new customer offer and your 3-month Unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at MINTMOBILE.com/TRANSFORM

Fostering Self-Awareness to Improve Alignment
Nick offers relationship coaching on how to create self-awareness in relationships. This forms a critical component in sustaining healthy, balanced partnerships. As Nick underscored, knowing oneself provides a foundation to better understand and relate to others. He illustrated this with a poker analogy, pointing out how misinterpretations occur when players assume certainty about others’ hands without self-awareness.
“You have to have 90% of the game’s awareness… you have to know yourself before you can have alignment or know someone else,” Nick explained.
Through the lens of personal growth, Nick urged individuals to analyze their values and priorities actively. The practice involves questioning habits and re-evaluating belief systems, which are often inherited memes or societal expectations. Nick’s life exemplified the benefit of this approach, when he and his wife learned more about their own and each other’s priorities during a challenging time in their relationship.
This act of prioritizing personal introspection yields profound insights — walking hand in hand with empathy, it brings couples closer, providing clarity and depth to their relational contexts.
Sponsored Ad Shopify
- Nobody does selling better than Shopify.
- It’s the Home of the number-one checkout on the planet.
- And the not-so-secret secret… Shop Pay that boosts conversions up to 50% (ding)
- Meaning way less shopping carts going abandoned and way more sales going
- Upgrade your business and get the same checkout as Allbirds or SKIMS uses.
- Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at SHOPIFY.COM/transform”

Using TDS Framework to access your Relationship DNA
Beyond relationships, the Total Difference Score framework offers valuable insights in relationship coaching that is applicable across various life aspects. Nick suggested tailoring the priority list for children, work environments, or individual personal growth endeavors, allowing for a broader application:
“You could take out sex and make it school or play or sports,” he illustrated regarding applying the framework with children. Nick aimed to spread the positive impacts of the TDS methodology beyond romantic partnerships, delving into tools that foster understanding and growth in different spheres.
His book “Prioritize Us” acts as a comprehensive guide to using the TDS framework and offers actionable strategies for enhancing communication and understanding your relationship DNA.
Nick Brancato’s TDS embodies a refreshing strategy for anyone seeking to illuminate their relationships, whether romantic, familial, or professional. It empowers individuals to explore, understand, and realign not only with their partners but also within themselves. By actively prioritizing connection and self-awareness, relationships thrive and transform tension into trust, and misalignment into mutual success. The ultimate victory lies in embracing informed understanding, growth, and love as unifying forces.

Additional Resources
Book: “Prioritize Us” by Nick Brancato – Available for free download at nickbrancato.com
Instagram: @personaldevcoach
Why Chemistry is the Most Important Ingredient in Relationships






