The, power of Intention, is defined as a strong purpose or aim to fulfill your dreams. This power is an invisible force of energy in the Universe. We access this force when we become inspired; dormant forces come alive in us and propel us towards our goals. That force is called the, Power of Intention.
Don’t wait to fall through a hole to experience a new world, be deliberate about your life; intentionally create the world you want to live and play in.
We are all born with the power of intention
Every baby is born with a purpose, every baby is pure, intention. Even before the Seed is matched with the Egg; the, Power of Intention, sets in motion what you will physically look like at your birth.
Your height, your bone structure, the color of your eyes and your non-physical attributes are also predetermined; ie your personality, how you will handle stress and your emotional IQ etc. Babies are born with the potential to walk, speak, read, and do mathematics. Nothing is left to chance. It’s possible to locate which areas of the brain that will eventually produce these abilities, but until then, they exist as pure potentials and intentions.
” I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations” ~~~Jeremiah 1:5
Here are 3 ways to access the energy field of Intention
The spoken word – is a powerful tool, by levering our voice we expand our dreams from internal thoughts to external possibilities. So speak freely of your dreams and visions. By verbalizing your thoughts out loud you are empowering your dreams to the universe. You are entering the field of all possibilities. This is the predominant reason that coaching works. Inside the coaching conversation, you are speaking your goals and vision, sometimes for the first time.
Controlling your Thoughts – When you are aware of the company you keep in your head, you take back control of your life by being present in the present moment. The friends in your head in the form of your thoughts, determines where you end up in life. Just like when we were kids and our parents told us not to keep company with certain kids because they would be a bad influence; in the same way if we keep company with, negative thoughts, they become a bad influence.
Your parents did not know why but they knew that if you hung around bad kids then no good will come of you. In a similar way if you keep replaying, negative emotions, doubt, worry, insecurities, getting even, discontent, fear, blame in your head then no good will come of you. The first step is becoming conscious of your thoughts. Once you bring these thoughts from subconscious to consciousness, then you take back control.
Verbalize your vision – What you do and what you say are very important. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. When we declare our, intentions, to the Universe, we set the energy fields in motion. The bible teaches that words are carriers. Words carry the spirit of the person speaking. Spirit is the highest form of energy. To access the energy field of the, Power of Intention, we need to become aware of our energy levels.
There are five levels of energy:
1: The material world – it is energy slowed down so we can see form
2: The sound world – faster energy. We can sometimes feel sound vibrations.
3: The light world – when the high energy of light meets with the low energy of darkness; the darkness becomes light. In the same way when we keep our energy levels high, the low energy fields of doubt, depression, obstacles etc. cannot reach us because our light converts the low energy fields of negative emotions.
4: Our thoughts – the energy of our thoughts are higher than light and sound. Every thought we have can be calculated to see if it has the positive energy to access the power of intention or the negative energy of doubt that impedes our forward movement and progress.
5: The energy of spirit – The highest level of energy is that of spirit. Spirit is the energy force of Creation. Kindness, Beauty, Love, Expansion are also forms of spirit energy.
Make raising your energy levels a priority in life. Low energy is an attractor pattern. If you practice raising your energy then you will not attract low energy forms like depression, blame, loneliness, shame, anxiety etc.
Seven ways to raise your energy levels to access the Power of Intention:
Make meditation a regular practice. Meditation allows us to make conscious connection with our source. It also allows us to make conscious connection with our emotions, so that we develop discipline.
Become conscious of the foods we eat. Processed foods lower our energy, while fruits, vegetables and greens raise our energy levels. Drugs and alcohol including prescription drugs also lowers your energy levels. Retreat from drugs and alcohol even prescription drugs.
Becoming conscious of the music you listen to. Rock and Heavy metal music lowers your energy levels, while soft music about love, and classical music raises your energy levels.
Becoming aware of the energy in your home. Feng Shui is the art of choosing the right furnishings and accessories then arranging these furnishings to increase the positive energy in your home. Accessories can include paintings or photography. Photographs of your loved ones smiling and laughing in happier times, photographs expressing love or showcasing nature also raise your energy levels. You should also become conscious of the energy from relationships in your home. Tension and strife in your home not only lowers your energy levels; but it debilitates you. We cannot excel in any area in life, if we are not happy at home.
Immerse yourself in nature- experiencing the beauty of nature is a purely spiritual experience. The energy of spirit is the highest level attainable.
Commit to helping people in need. Acts of kindness expecting nothing in return raises your energy levels because kindness, compassion and service are spiritual experiences and the highest of the energy states. The beauty of kindness and giving expecting nothing in return is that you get that energy back in spades. The Bible teaches that in giving the tithe to God,” the windows of Heaven are opened and blessings pour out that you wouldn’t have room to receive.” In a similar fashion, when you give of yourself to the world, expecting nothing in return, the windows of Heaven open up and you get back more than you ever gave.
Effective communication skills is measured by active listening, your communication style and whether you are an open or closed communicator. Why is being a, closed communicator, bad? Because as a closed off person, you become defensive, resistant, bitchy, moody, easy to anger, confrontational, and not open to feedback.
Here is a brief Biography of my guest Gail Green.
• Gail is a leadership coach and trainer and her topic today is “How to find out if you are an, open communicator, or, closed communicator, in your business environment. Gail is a leader who connects individuals and teams to their truth, helping them to discover their full expression of courage, joy and fulfillment. Gail works with all sizes of companies, as well as individually with leaders, and do life coaching with individuals from all walks of life.
• Gail’s primary work is in leadership development, team-building, stress management and teaching, effective communication skills.
Why is being a, closed communicator, bad? Because as a closed off person, you become defensive, resistant, bitchy, moody, easy to anger, confrontational, and not open to feedback.
So as a Leader, it is important to be open to your team and employees. Open people radiate outwards from their heart and is able to touch others.
If you want to impact your employees and your customers, then learn how to be open.
Listen to the podcast as Gail teaches us how to be, Open vs Closed communication. with the help of her Go Cards.
Effective Communication skills: Open Communicator
Effective communication, requires us to be clear and complete in what we are trying to express. Being an, effective communicator, in our professional and personal lives involves learning the skills to exchange information with clarity, empathy, and understanding.
Are You also Closed Off in your personal relationships And Don’t Even Know It?
How Would you answer the following questions?
Are you emotionally guarded?
Are you willing to take risks?
If you answered yes to these questions, it could mean that you are closed off emotionally.
Sometimes being emotionally guarded gets you into bad situations; but most of the time it gets you nowhere. In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken. So that could be why you keep finding yourself in relationships that bore you, or in relationship with other emotionally closed off individuals. Because like attracts like. Those relationships aren’t very rewarding, are they? If you don’t take the risk
By putting your true self and your true feelings on the table, those are the types of relationships that you will attract. Your emotionally open friends will get those giddy, best-friends-lovers, movie-type romances; you will get the dead-end ones. Maybe you’ve never had your heart broken, and maybe you think that’s a perk. But it’s not. It is said that it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all! So, I will ask the question. Are you closed off and don’t even realize it?
Here are 10 ways to tell if you are a closed communicator:
1. Do you feel like first dates are interrogations, and are put off by the line of questioning you receive during them?
2. Does it feel very inappropriate to you whenever someone becomes emotional around you?
3. Do your friends share their romantic stories with you? Or do they feel that you are never happy for them so they don’t share?
4. Do you attract cocky guys?
5. You do a lot of Googling before first dates.
6. You prep your friends to meet a guy.
7. Sex is a competition.
8. You’ve never cried to a partner or shown your venerability.
9. Eye contact makes you very uncomfortable
10. You’re very sarcastic
Show Notes: Effective Communication Skills
Topic: Are you an Open or Closed Communicator?
1. Question 1: Tell us your journey towards becoming a Leadership coach
2. Question 2: How did you come to specialize in Open vs closed communication and effective communication?
3. Question 3: How does a leader know if he or she is open or, closed communicator? What determines that?
4. Question 4: If a leader becomes closed off, how can he or she trace the source?
5. Question 5: Why should leaders want to become, open communicators? What are the benefits of being an, open communicator?
6. Question 6: What tools do you offer as a coach to help clients who are closed off to become, open communicators?
7 Question 7: You sent me this beautiful set of Go Cards, how does one use these cards to change their state?
Chronic joint pain, is a pervasive issue that affects millions of people worldwide. Whether it stems from an injury, wear and tear, or underlying medical conditions, chronic joint pain can significantly impact one’s quality of life. In this thought leadership article, we will delve into the insights shared by Dr. Brandon Ramakko, author of “Pain is Not a Life Sentence,” as he discusses the causes and treatment options for chronic pain. By exploring the themes of muscle, joint, and, nerve pain, we aim to provide readers with a comprehensive understanding of how to eliminate, chronic joint pain, and regain control of their lives.
Chronic joint pain, often results from overlapping issues and can have a mental component.
Understanding the root cause of, chronic joint pain, is crucial for effective treatment.
Exercise, targeted therapy, and lifestyle modifications can help, eliminate chronic pain.
Understanding Chronic Pain: Muscle and Joint Issues
One of the most common causes of, chronic joint pain, is muscle and joint issues. Dr. Ramakko emphasizes the importance of identifying and addressing the underlying problems rather than merely treating the symptoms. He highlights the need for a comprehensive approach that includes re-evaluation, targeted exercises, and a focus on rehabilitation rather than relying solely on medication.
Dr. Ramakko explains that, chronic joint pain, can evolve from an initial injury and manifest as multiple overlapping issues. This complexity often leads to misdiagnosis and ineffective treatment. For example, many individuals with, hip pain, are misdiagnosed with trochanteric bursitis, when in fact, the pain is caused by muscle imbalances. By rebalancing the muscles and ensuring they work correctly, the pain can be eliminated.
Furthermore, Dr. Ramakko emphasizes the importance of re-evaluation in the treatment of, chronic joint pain. Many healthcare professionals fail to modify treatment plans when patients plateau, leading to frustration and a lack of progress. By continuously reassessing the condition and exploring alternative approaches, patients can achieve better outcomes.
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Nerve pain, such as sciatica and carpal tunnel syndrome, can be debilitating and significantly impact daily life. Dr. Ramakko sheds light on the misconceptions surrounding these conditions and offers insights into effective treatment options.
Sciatica nerve pain, is often misdiagnosed, is frequently caused by myofascial trigger points rather than nerve issues. These trigger points, which result from muscle knots, can cause pain that radiates down the leg. By treating the trigger points and rebalancing the muscles, individuals can eliminate the pain associated with, sciatica nerve pain.
Similarly, carpal tunnel syndrome, is often misdiagnosed, leading to unnecessary surgeries. Dr. Ramakko explains that the success rate of carpal tunnel release surgery is only around 30%. Instead, he suggests exploring alternative treatments, such as stretching exercises and myofascial trigger point therapy, to alleviate the compression on the nerve.
Empowering Patients: Taking Control of Chronic Joint Pain
Dr. Ramakko’s book, “Pain is Not a Life Sentence,” aims to empower individuals suffering from, chronic joint pain, by providing them with the knowledge and tools to take control of their condition. By understanding the root causes of pain and exploring various treatment options, patients can make informed decisions about their healthcare.
The book emphasizes the importance of never giving up and seeking alternative solutions when traditional approaches fail. Dr. Ramakko encourages individuals to advocate for themselves and explore different practitioners who may offer unique perspectives and treatment modalities.
Chronic joint pain, is a complex issue that requires a comprehensive approach to treatment. By understanding the underlying causes and exploring various treatment options, individuals can, eliminate chronic pain, and regain control of their lives. Dr. Ramakko’s book serves as a valuable resource for those seeking to understand and overcome, chronic joint pain, offering hope and guidance on the journey to a, pain-free life.
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An example of, chronic pain, is, hip pain, there’s a lot of people out there diagnosed with, hip pain. When I was going through school and medical doctors I learned the causes for, hip pain.
Pain in or around the hip may be caused by problems such as:
Bursitis — pain when getting up from a chair, walking, climbing stairs, and driving
Hamstring strain
Iliotibial band syndrome
Hip flexor strain
Hip impingement syndrome
Groin strain
Snapping hip syndrome
They can do surgery and take out the Bursitis which is inflammation of the Bersa. They can take the Bersa and throw it out. If the person’s pain doesn’t go away, it’s not the Bersa. If there’s fluid in the Bersa, they would see fluid. If it is Bursitis it must be inflamed, but it turns out you get fluid in the Bersa if the muscles aren’t sharing the workload properly. If there’s a muscular dis-coordination, it irritates the tendon and that tendon moving in an irritating fashion causes extra fluid to build up in the Bersa.
This adds more cushion to the hip, but the Bersa itself isn’t painful it’s actually the tendon that is painful. It’s the muscles that are painful. This is one case where if they do find a tear in that tendon, surgery is amazing even if the tear happened a long time ago. Even a full repture, they can do surgery if it’s the right diagnosis. If surgery is the right the right thing for, hip pain, get the surgery but a lot of these people they just need to recondition the tendon, strengthen the tendon and get those muscles working properly.
KiaraAngelica studios presents First Lady’s the Genesis. Come and witness the genesis of an era. Three pastor’s wives are consumed with the problems they’re each facing within their individual marriages and churches. It isn’t until one of them reaches her breaking point that these first ladies who are strangers to each other unite to lift their sister in Christ up.
Meet us at the Sewell Cultural Center located in Marietta Ga, on March 1st for an evening show or March 2nd for either a matinee or evening show. God will be glorified in this production & strong themes will be covered, please visit
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Conclusion
You can get rid of, muscle pains, and all other, chronic joint pain, hip pain, arthritis pain by doing exercises to target the muscles. A lot of people have arthritis or disc pain and the imaging doesn’t correlate very well with pain they are experiencing.
I’m supposed to have arthritis in my knees and in my back for some time. I keep moving and walking every day because I was told that motion is lotion.
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Your Life Theme and, personalities, shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the, 16 personalities, that can compose your identity.
Introduction
John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman. He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill. That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, 16 personalities types, controls our communication.
He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are. That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions. Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.
How to identify our 16 Personalities.
John: So when I figured out how to sell to, 16 personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale. That is how you read people.
Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun. I want to appease the, personalities, so when I walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down. I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, 16 personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.
Our, personality, as our way of expression. Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization. The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.
Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.
True, but I look at what do you like to do for fun? What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?” I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are. I am able to identify one of your, 16 personalities types, from this test.
Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You
Your Life Theme offers the, personality, framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.
You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or “Life Themes.”
These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.
These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.
These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.
While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.
They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.
Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.
The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator
An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.
According to, Myers-Briggs, theory of, personality types, people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:
Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:
Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
The 16 personalities types
The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.
The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.
The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.
The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.
All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:
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The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:
The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
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As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.
What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.
All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:
To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com
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Drug addiction, is often shrouded in mystery and misconception, particularly when it comes to, high-functioning addicts – individuals who maintain a facade of normality while battling a dependency. This complex issue demands a closer look, not only to lift the veil on the reality of, high-functioning addiction, but also to provide guidance on how to support loved ones grappling with this invisible struggle.
High-functioning addicts, can maintain professional success and social relationships while concealing their, substance abuse.
Recognizing addiction in oneself or others often requires an honest evaluation of dependency and its effects on daily functioning.
Effective support for addicts involves a balance of love and boundaries without enabling destructive behaviors.
About the Guest:
Michaela K. Canterbury is both an established lawyer and a writer. Licensed to practice law in Alaska, she serves as the owner, operator, and lead trial lawyer at Kelly and Canterbury LLC, alongside her husband, Christopher. Michaela also holds the role of an author with her notable work titled “Sister Siren: A Field Guide and How to Love an Addict,” a book delving into addiction and providing guidance on navigating relationships with addicts. She resides in Eagle River, Alaska, where she has cultivated her family and career in the valley and woods that she herself grew up in.
Book Sister Siren A Non Fiction about Drug Addiction
The Facade of Functionality in drug Addiction
High-functioning addicts, walk a tightrope of maintaining professional and social responsibilities while secretly succumbing to, substance abuse. The dichotomy between their outward success and private battles often makes it challenging to spot the, signs of addiction. Understanding this dichotomy is vital in acknowledging and addressing the problem before it escalates.
“We’re talking about high functioning until they’re not. And then they realize they’re high performing.”
This statement from the Michaela K Canterbury encapsulates the paradox of, high-functioning addiction: individuals are able to perform at a high level until they reach a point where they cannot without their substance of choice. It’s at this critical juncture that the signs become noticeable – erratic behavior, missed deadlines, disheveled appearance, and a desperate reliance on substances to get through the day.
The transformation from functional to dysfunctional can be both startling and subtle—an enigma in the realm of addiction.
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Identifying Internal Triggers and Recognizing Drug Addiction
The road to recognizing, drug addiction, often begins with a moment of self-awareness, where individuals realize their dependency on substances has become a crutch for dealing with life’s challenges.
“…what you’re saying is that people that don’t know that they’re an addict just think that, hey, I’m just recreational and that they’ve got it under control.”
Society’s casual acceptance of certain drugs as a means to enhance performance or relieve stress can obscure the line between recreational use and, drug addiction. It’s not just about losing control; it’s about the subtleteeness with which dependency enters and takes hold of one’s life.
For some, including the story of Michaela’s sister as shared on the podcast, her sister’s, drug addiction, begins in adolescence through prescription medication. This early exposure can diminish one’s ability to recognize dependency, making it a normalized part of existence. The evolution from pain management to, drug addiction, is a critical area requiring vigilant monitoring and constant re-evaluation of medication needs and effects.
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Supporting Addiction with Love and Limits
Loving someone with a, drug addiction, is a delicate dance of support and tough love. The key is to assist without enabling, to express care without exacerbating the addiction.
“Don’t sign contracts with them… Don’t have expectations… step in with love with what you can do.”
Direct quotations from the interview underscore the importance of setting boundaries while maintaining a supportive stance. Providing necessities rather than cash, making time for meaningful interactions, and avoiding co-dependency are ways to help while safeguarding one’s own well-being.
Michaela’s experience offers practical guidance: creating a loving environment infused with structure and discipline can chart a path toward healing for both the addict and those who care for them. Navigating this journey requires clarity of intent and an understanding of when to step back – an approach that facilitates recovery without fostering reliance.
In reaffirming these principles, we see the transformative power of a well-structured support system in the fight against, drug addiction. It’s not just about saving the addict; it’s about preserving relationships and promoting a sustainable recovery.
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The phenomena of, high-functioning addiction, is layered and multifaceted. At its core, it’s a warning about the dangers of complacency in recognizing substance dependency and other addictions like, sex addiction, gambling addiction, or even addiction to tobacco. It emphasizes the paradox that even those who appear to have it all can struggle deeply. For friends and family, the lesson is clear: be vigilant, be supportive, but also be aware of your own limits. The delicate art of loving an addict involves a dance between empathy and autonomy, care and boundaries, and, above all, an unwavering commitment to seeking a balance that fosters true healing.
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KiaraAngelica studios presents First Lady’s the Genesis. Come and witness the genesis of an era. Three pastor’s wives are consumed with the problems they’re each facing within their individual marriages and churches. It isn’t until one of them reaches her breaking point that these first ladies who are strangers to each other unite to lift their sister in Christ up.
Meet us at the Sewell Cultural Center located in Marietta Ga, on March 1st for an evening show or March 2nd for either a matinee or evening show. God will be glorified in this production & strong themes will be covered, please visit
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First Ladies of Genesis
Loving A Drug Addict Family Member
It’s very difficult, especially for parents. There’s unconditional love in the parental relationship, In most parental relationships. And my mom really thought she was helping. And I also need to caveat this with, now we’re way out. Now. My mom suffers from Alzheimer’s. We think, in hindsight, that that was beginning to present itself when my sister was in active addiction. So my really thought she was helping.
My sister would say, I need money for my medication. I’m between jobs. So when she would be between jobs, unable to hold a job, she would work at a coffee shop or whatever, and my mom be like, okay, and give her the money for her medication, not knowing the medication was heroin and meth. Thinking that it’s her medication for ADHD or whatever, it doesn’t matter. And that ended up evolving into my mom enabling my sister’s, drug addiction.
Millions of people suffer from at least one of the, compulsive behaviors, Compulsive shopping, Compulsive eating, Hoarding, Compulsive sexual behavior.
—often, even when the individual wishes they could stop—despite the fact that the act triggers negative outcomes, leads to interpersonal conflicts, or damages mental health.
Listen to full interview here:
Introduction to Compulsive Behaviors
Common activities that can develop into compulsions include, compulsive shopping, hoarding, eating, gambling, sex, and exercise. Though some behaviors are easier to over-indulge in than others, in reality, nearly any behavior has the potential of becoming a, compulsive behavior. Some people even talk compulsively, for instance.
There are also obsessive compulsive disorder, in which a compulsive person performs certain behaviors to relieve underlying anxiety or other negative emotions. A well-known example is a person who checks and rechecks everything—if the stove is turned off, for instance, or if the door is locked.
These behaviors rarely decrease anxiety in the long run; in most cases, they only provide temporary relief. In extreme cases, compulsive behaviors start to take over the person’s work, home, and social life, at the expense of normal activities.
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How are Compulsive Behaviors and addictions connected?
Compulsive behaviors, have a genetic effect and are often seen in identical twins. I know 17 year old identical twin girls who came into the foster care system at 4 years old and have had trauma. I attributed their, compulsive behaviors, to genes from their biological parents and environment from their early years in foster care. They started, compulsive behaviors, like stealing from about 5 years old, as they grew older that transformed into, compulsive shoplifting, then they started running away and couldn’t stop, now they are compulsively, hoarding.
Compulsion behaviors, often arise after stressful events, trauma, or abuse as we have seen in our study of addictions. When people engage in, compulsive behaviors, they become trapped in a pattern of repetitive actions or senseless thinking from which it can be difficult to break free.
Treatment is often key for overcoming, compulsive behaviors.
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How does normal behavior turn into, Compulsive Behaviors?
As far as the brain is concerned our rewards are reward important, so regardless of whether it comes from a chemical or an experience and you know that there’s a
reward and people who indulge in , compulsive behaviors, like gambling, eating, sex, and shopping, become trapped in the reward system of dopamine.
Types of Compulsive Behaviors
Compulsive behaviors, come in many forms, all of which can be quite debilitating or even dangerous.
Hoarding, for instance, are those who are unable to part with even the most worthless possessions. Many hoarders find the act of purging so distressful that they live under extremely crowded and potentially harmful conditions.
Compulsive shopping,
Compulsive eating
Over exercising
Hoarding
Compulsive cleaning
Compulsive Hoarding, is a psychiatric disorder which involves the accumulation of personal possessions to the point at which these accumulations interfere with your quality of life to a significant degree. The acquisition of “things” and failure to throw away unneeded objects can result in only mild symptoms of a cluttered home to a home which is too unsanitary for healthy living. At the current time, it’s thought that between two and six percent of the population is living with some degree of hoarding disorder.
Compulsively taking selfies and posting on social media
Compulsive sexual behavior or sexual addiction
What negative triggers enable Compulsive Behaviors like Hoarding.
The brain tricks us into thinking that we need the reward so we perform the, compulsive behavior, to re up the Dopamine
I know that as humans we move towards pleasure and away from pain. In my role as parent with kids who have, compulsive behaviors. These behaviors are cemented because they engage the reward centers of the brain.
How does one break that reward system for, Compulsive Behaviors?
Don’t wait until sexual temptation attacks you before you see it as a formidable force which seeks to destroy you. Its insidious tactic is designed to enslave you into sexual sins and keep you locked into erotic desires. How you perceive sexual temptation in your life, determines how well you will overcome its deceitful force, and walk in total victory.
“Naked and Ashamed, the Battle of Sexual Temptation.” is a Christian self-help book that explains what sexual temptation is, and gives you Biblical scriptures on how to control your sexual desires, and unnatural urges. With chapters such as recognizing the tempter, and rejecting the flesh, you will study strategies on how to recognize situations that tempts you, and learn how to keep your flesh under subjection. Although we will all be tempted sexually at some time, we can learn from this book on how to refrain from overreacting and falling into sexual bondage. So put on your seatbelt and get ready to be free from all of your unwanted sexual desires and temptations. Order “Naked and Ashamed, The Battle of Sexual Temptation” today! Written by Sheela Fields, now available on Amazon.
Sex Addiction Treatment
Let’s look at, compulsive sexual behavior, or sexual addiction. Sexual addiction, is represented by, compulsive behavior, in commonly available sexual practices, such as
Attending strip clubs,
Compulsive masturbation,
Paying for sex through prostitution,
Excessive use of pornography,
and repeated engagement in extramarital affairs.
Compulsive sexual behavior, otherwise known as sexual addiction, is an emerging psychiatric disorder that has significant medical and psychiatric consequences. Until recently, very little empirical data existed to explain the biological, psychological, and social risk factors that contribute to this condition. In addition, clinical issues, such as the natural course and best practices on treating sexual addictions, have not been formalized. Despite this absence, the number of patients and communities requesting assistance with this problem remains significant. This article will review the clinical features of compulsive sexual behavior and will summarize the current evidence for psychological and pharmacological treatment.
Dr Ahia What forms of, Sex Addiction Treatment, would you administer to someone suffering from, compulsive sexual addiction?
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How would you treat a youth that had the compulsion for taking selfies or even shoplifting?
Wildly Alive coach Nichole Wurth shares how having an, active lifestyle, could help you fight, coronavirus COVID 19, and become BFF’s with your body.
Journey to an Active lifestyle.
I was raised on Hamburger Helper and mac and cheese. I didn’t know the basics of nourishing your body or a healthy lifestyle. That was not something that was taught to me, so I got out of high school and I gained some weight. I did what most women do. I started dieting. I wouldn’t say that I had a big-time body image issues or self-esteem issues going into that whole experience; but after every diet I started to realize it took out a chunk of my self-esteem.
So after years of dieting if you would have looked at my body you would have thought damn she’s got it going on she’s so fit she’s so healthy. I want her body, I want her, active lifestyle. But in all reality even though I looked like I was living a, healthy lifestyle, I was an absolute mess inside.
I had disordered eating and disordered exercising and I was so lost in trying to have a, active lifestyle, I didn’t even see it I was I was obsessed with what I was going to eat and what I couldn’t eat. I was strategizing with every bite. It was strategy all the time. I was still deeply unhappy because before living this, healthy lifestyle, I blamed all my unhappiness and the reason why I don’t have a boyfriend, the reason why I don’t have a fulfilling job, or the reason why I don’t have …fill in the blank, was because of my body.
It’s very common for women to blame everything on their body, so now that I had lost the weight and I look fit and healthy and living a, healthy lifestyle, I no longer had anything to blame for my unhappiness. So again even though you would look at me and you think wow she’s an inspiration, honestly I was lost from disordered eating and disordered exercising. Most people they don’t even see it, and they’re broken. That’s how diet culture works. Diet culture intentionally breaks you, breaks your trust with yourself, so then you need a diet all the time.
That’s how I was for years. I didn’t trust myself without the guidelines, without the rules and other restrictions. I went through that whole journey. I lost the weight and I was worse than I was before I started that journey.
I start moving into like exploring okay how can I find happiness and freedom and a, healthy lifestyle, at the same time because dieting does not get you happiness and freedom. It feels very caged. That’s the philosophy of the wildly alive coaching program. I started coming up with this idea that your body is a living, breathing, feeling thing just like a plant. So if I went into my office every day and looked at my plants and said to them, you’re ugly and you’re not good enough and you need to try harder. I would have sent negative energy to them right they would rebel and not thrive.
The Ketogenic Diet is good for a healthy lifestyle
I think that’s where most women are. They look at their body as just this thing that’s hanging on them, that’s never right and will never be right, and they’re constantly abusing it. If you want to call it abuse or not, it really is, because you probably would never talk to your best friend that way or even your enemy. That is when I started really looking into instead of creating change from a place of shame, which diet culture teaches, if you just hate your body enough then you can change it shifting that to respect base change. learning how to respect our body as we are changing and reshaping it. The Ketogenic Diet is the new popular diet plan.
Food plays a very important part in our body image and women in particular, maybe even men. Men drink, women eat! I’m not sure, but a lot of times if you have emotional problems it shows up in what you eat. And yeah when you go to the gym, and you have a really nice body, that’s on the outside. You could still feel shame inside.
A lot of women could identify with, you’re overweight and you buckled down and lost the weight, they are now living a, healthy lifestyle, they go to the gym every day, they eat right and embrace, healthy living, so where is the reward. Where is the boyfriend or husband?
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What is an Active Lifestyle?
I gained all kinds of weight at the end of high school because I was in the industry and I was eating a lot of jalapeno, mayonnaise and French fries. It was like my favorite combination with Big Mac. The whole the whole world globally, we’re looking at the, coronavirus, and at, COVID-19, and everybody including all the health experts are now on talking about a, healthy lifestyle, because what we’re all now acutely aware that if you have a healthy immune system then you can probably get over this, coronavirus, illness. My, active lifestyle, programs started before people became conscious of, healthyliving. A, healthy lifestyle, is being wildly alive!
I wanted to create something like a like a bridge between the, covid-19, pandemic and, healthy living. I’m telling my clients right now is first and foremost and this is the basis of wildly alive coaching, is your mind is the most powerful muscle in your body and so just like with dieting.
And the constant feeling of stress, you have to change from the inside.
When I was dieting, I was constantly stressed, I was afraid of butter. I was afraid of red meat and so on and so on. Even though according to my little calorie counting notebook, I was eating
all of the right things; because I was so stressed over the food, that I was unhealthy. Stressing about everything you put into your mouth is not a, healthy lifestyle.
What is the Feminine approach to a Healthy Lifestyle
This is a respect based approach to, healthy living. If I can help show you how awesome your body is, and how it’s doing so many things right now, in this moment, then what will start to happen is, you’ll start to recognize that your body is always talking to you. She’s always speaking to you. She can guide you on the best things to eat and the best ways to move and how to thrive in this whole self-care thing. You don’t need a plan, you don’t need somebody telling you what to eat and how to exercise and what to do to feel happy, your body can tell you all of that.
We live in this Western society that just cuts you off at the head and makes you think that all your body is or something you manipulate, that’s all it is it’s just this mass, that has no voice or no wisdom. So when you start opening up the lines of communication with your body, you start to listen to it. You start to feel really good. It is just like when you get a cut you don’t have to look at the cut and be like okay white blood cells come do your thing. No the white blood cells are on it. They start forming a scab around the cut and the processes of healing begins.
Our bodies are so smart that we can’t even conceptualize and wrap our mind around all the brilliance of our body. So if I can teach you some of that, and I can show you how awesome your body is and how she is here to guide you. She’s here to guide yourself care and, healthy lifestyle, and she’s also here to guide you on your life choices.
The feminine approach to an, active lifestyle, is really is a woman’s 28-day cycle if you’re menstruating. As women we have a 28-day cycle and that 28-day cycle mirrors the moon. There’s four phases within our 28-day cycle and also within the moon cycle. Those four phases also mirror the four seasons of the planet. A, healthy lifestyle, includes following your cycle.
For example just to make this really simplified, when you’re bleeding it is the New Moon phase.
When we’re having our period we tend to be more hibernating, we’re not as extroverted. This is our introverted time. This is the time when we reflect and restore. This is our winter time so if you’re ever confused you just look at the season the new moon. So when you’re bleeding doing a high intense workout it’s probably not the best thing for your body. If you’re on hormonal birth control or you’re not having your period, just start tracking the moon and your body will start syncing up with it.
Vice versa the full moon is your ovulation or summer phase. You are hyper energized. There’s lots of growth, there’s lots of expansion, there’s lots of extroverted energy and so this is a really good time for an, active lifestyle, in terms of movement. Now is the time for that high intensity workout or doing that new salsa high intensity class.
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Wildly Alive self-care and, Healthy lifestyle, coaching program
Wildly alive is about Shame -based change is by telling yourself you can’t have those things and you’re a bad person if you eat those things, so just to flip this on the head a little bit and think about it from a respect based change. I always tell my clients I would never tell them they can’t eat things ever unless they have an allergy to something, that’s a whole different conversation. Telling yourself you can’t eat bread because this study says that bread is bad for you. I don’t think that’s enough to really shift into respect based change. I’m a huge believer in moderation. I think a little bit of everything is okay. So have the bread or have the beer, really sit and enjoy it. If your body starts to say to you, I feel bloated every time I drink a beer, then make some changes. Drink half a beer or try a different beer.
Here are the mechanics for a, healthy active lifestyle, during covid-19
trying keeping the energy light in our house
limit media, limit the news because it is mostly negative
have a lot of sunlight.
getting outside and connecting with nature. Being in nature boosts your immune system. I also love to bring nature into my house. I have lots of my salt lamps.
An, active lifestyle, starts with some sort of movement on a regular basis. It could be going out for a walk, it could be yoga, it could be bike riding. Exercise calms your nerves.
drink a lot of water
increasing your vitamin C intake. I’ve been making this lemon ginger juice.
stay open to the lessons of the, covid-19, pandemic
I read somewhere that you were disappointed in Oprah. Please share why that is.
I would to preface this statement with I do love Oprah. I love her in so many different ways as a woman, as a woman of color. She is breaking the mold and I love her for so many reasons; but a few weeks ago, I was watching an interview with her in Lady Gaga and she’s on stage and they were talking about mental health and I loved it. I was like yes I love this conversation they’re about mental health, this is such an important part of health right now. But then I started seeing WW everywhere and I was like what is WW? It was Weight Watchers and I was so devastated in that moment because Weight Watchers is diet culture. It’s the epitome of diet culture. They were having this beautiful conversation about mental health and calorie counting. Weight Watchers has been proven to be mentally unhealthy. It was so sad.
I still love Oprah, I know she’s human. I know she’s flawed. I forgive her.
Do you have any special programs or coaching programs that promote a, Healthy Lifestyle
I do have a new free challenge called the embrace and reach your body challenge, that will start in a few weeks. You could go to wildlyalive.com flash challenge.
What you think about you bring about, so intrusive, thoughts activate the Law of Attraction. To get into the, vortex, and activate, the law of attraction, for the things you want, reach for the best feeling, thoughts, in every moment.
If you want to heal the body you must first heal the mind `~ Plato
Listen to Podcast Here:
You create your physical condition through your, intrusive thoughts activate the law of attraction. That means you can think yourself sick or think yourself well. I have healed pain in my body many times by focusing on healing energy so in the reverse you can heal yourself by, intrusive good feeling thoughts.
Disease is the result of blocked energy and that is why the body scan chakra meditation is such a powerful healing tool.
Relax and breathe deeply is the first response to any illness.
Try this next time you feel pain in your body, use these, thoughts, to bring about healing:
Imagine a light like the sun or moon entering your body through your breath. Send that light directly to the pain area hold it there for a few seconds. Then breathe out and imagine you are collecting the pain and breathing it out.
The Magic of Commitment Focus, Thoughts
You are either doing something or you are waiting for something to happen. You are either committed to someone or something or you are not.
Obstacles become opportunities when you are committed.
With commitment, failure is not an option.
Get clear of what you want and why you want it. These, thoughts, help you focus and stay committed
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The Magic of Faith Thoughts become things: Activating the Law of Attraction
You have to believe and have faith that the current universal energy will carry you to all your desires that is why, intrusive thoughts activate the law of attraction, and faith.
Faith is essential to manifesting your desires. It is the currency of the spiritual world.
Trust God and have faith that he will give you the desires of your heart
The Story of My Life, first published in 1903, is Helen Keller’s autobiography detailing her early life, especially her experiences with Anne Sullivan. Portions of it were adapted by William Gibson for a 1957 Playhouse 90 production, a 1959 Broadway play, a 1962 Hollywood feature film, and the Indian film “Black”, which was directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali. The book is dedicated to inventor Alexander Graham Bell. The dedication reads, “To ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL Who has taught the deaf to speak and enabled the listening ear to hear speech from the Atlantic to the Rockies, I dedicate this Story of My Life.”
Tom Brady, says, the key to success lies in setting, smart goals, and taking massive action towards the attainment of these goals. Tom says a hundred years of psychological research has taught us that, setting strong, smart goals, matter, if you want to improve your chances of succeeding.
As Millennials graduate from high school, graduate from college, or get engaged to be married, career goals, should be prominent their minds.
In each stage of life, we should have, short term goals, and, long-term goals. Short term goal, are goals you would like to achieve within the year and, long term goals, are goals you would like to achieve in let’s say 10 years.
So if we were to pick up goals at a Millennial graduation from College, we should teach her, how to set smart goals, both short term goals and, long term goals. Career goals, would probably be get a job and start supporting herself or enroll in higher education.
Tom Brady says, The key to success lies in, setting goals, and taking massive action towards the attainment of these, goals.
A hundred years of psychological research has taught us, how to set goals. If you want to improve your chances of succeeding.
A, goal, is a map to your destination. It is like a seed!
Plant, smart goals, in your mind and it will be the most important decision you make in your life.
Then Care of your planted seed every day.
Tom Brady’s story.
By the mid-2000s Tom Brady was the undisputed king of the gridiron. In 2002 he became the youngest quarterback in the history of the National Football League (NFL) to lead his team to a Super Bowl victory. Two years later, in 2004, he proved the magic was still strong when he led the New England Patriots to their second Super Bowl title in three years.
In addition, Brady was named the Super Bowl’s Most Valuable Player (MVP) in 2002 and 2004. The dimpled, clean-cut quarterback had reached career heights that most veteran football players envied, and he had done it all before he was thirty years old; But HE ONCE HAD SIMPLE DREAMS
In the pride-swallowing days at the University of Michigan, when he was constantly trying to prove that he deserved to start, Brady used to sit up at night with his good friend Aaron Shea and talk about, goals, what they’d do when they made it big.
Shea, a tight end for the Wolverines, used to rattle off the typical 20-year-old dream purchases. He wanted a Hummer and a Ferrari. Then Shea would ask what Brady wanted.
“‘If I hit it real big,’” Shea recalls Brady telling him, “‘I want to be able to wake up, put a pair of socks on, and at the end of the day, I throw ’em away.’
“I’m like, ‘That’s all you want?’ And he goes, ‘Yeah, that’s what I want. I love new socks!’”
But somewhere along the line, he got big dreams. Dreams of being the best!
How to Set Championship Goals like Tom Brady
Brady was so intent on winning and becoming the very best in history to play his position, that after the Patriot’s lost to the Broncos in the AFC championship game in 2016, he had a countdown clock installed in his home gym. I am sure because he wanted to be the undisputed champion and Peyton Manning had won, this round! Competition bring out the best in us.
Throughout the year the countdown clock served as his constant reminder of his, goal. A countdown clock says to his subconscious mind. I will achieve this, goal, it is mine, it’s just a matter of time so I am counting down! That is, how to set a goal!
The world was the witness at Super Bowl 51 of Tom Brady manifesting of this goal. Down by 25 points at the half, Tom Brady and the New England Patriots came back to win the game in overtime making Brady the best ever at the game!
With his mother in attendance at the NRG Stadium in Houston and millions of fans watching, Brady did not disappoint. In a thrilling game, the first that went into overtime in NFL history, Brady led the Patriots to a 34-28 victory over the Atlanta Falcons. With this historic win, Brady became the first quarterback in NFL history to take home five Super Bowl rings.
He surpassed quarterbacks Joe Montana, one of his idols, and Terry Bradshaw, who both have four Super Bowl wins. He also was awarded his fourth Super Bowl MVP for leading a 25-point comeback and throwing a Super Bowl-record 466 passing yards. Super Bowl LI was Brady’s seventh championship, which is also an NFL record for the most Super Bowls played.
Brady failed in his bid to become the best and most decorated quarterback in history when he lost to the Eagles in Super bowl 52; but how many of you know that failure is not final. Brady will be back again and this time he will succeed because when you have a goal and you don’t give up on it, you always win that is why Coach Lombardi advise is “Never, Never give up, Never ever Quit because Quitters never win”
I am sure there will be another count down clock installed in Brady’s locker room for super bowl 53! I am routing for you Tom!
Goals they have a powerful supernatural energy attached to them!
They activate the subconscious to go to work for you.
In the book “As a man thinketh” by James Allen, Allen attaches the energy of thought to goals.
James Allen: Setting Goals As A Man Thinketh
Those who have no central purpose or, goals, in their life fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubles, and self-pityings, all of which are indications of weakness, which lead, just as surely as deliberately planned sins, to failure, unhappiness, and loss, for weakness cannot persist in a power evolving universe.
A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose or, goal, in his heart, and set out to accomplish it.
He should make this, goal, the centralizing point of his thoughts. It may take the form of a spiritual ideal, or it may be a worldly object, according to his nature at the time being; but whichever it is, he should steadily focus his thought-forces upon the object, which he has set before him. He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and should devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings.
This is the royal road to self-control and true concentration of thought. Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his goal, the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success, and this will form a new starting-point for future power and triumph.
What this means is if your only goal as you are starting out in life is to get a job with no thought to what God has placed you on this earth to do, then you will become like a garden full of weeds and wild flowers.
Since no one is tending the garden of your mind then anything will grow. This leads to failure, unhappiness and loss.
On the other hand if you set goals either for spiritual attainment, personal accomplishment, or for contribution even when you fail and you will, you will be like Tom Brady and know that given time, success will be yours.
Having conceived of his purpose, a man should mentally mark out a straight pathway to its achievement, looking neither to the right nor the left. Doubts and fears should be rigorously excluded; they are disintegrating elements, which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, useless. Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplished anything, and never can. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease when doubt and fear creep in.
Amy Purdy: Setting Goals After NDE
My daughter sent me a text message last week and said mom you have to listen to this. This is important. So, I dropped everything and listened! I was blown away. Oprah was interviewing Amy Purdy.
This is her story:
After losing both her legs at age 19 as a result of bacterial meningitis, Amy Purdy survived to lead a life of extraordinary accomplishments. Amy not only survived losing her legs but at one time all her organs were failing, and she actually died. She tells that when she died, two spirits on the other side offered her a choice of staying dead or coming back to life and she shouted No, I don’t want to die!!
She chose life the same way she chose not to be a disabled person who lives an uninspiring life. She chose to set the goal of snowboarding again. She tells the story of how she visualized in detail her achieving this goal. Amy is a Paralympic bronze medalist in snowboarding, and a finalist on “Dancing with the Stars”. Pick up a copy of her book “On My Own Two Feet: From Losing My Legs to Learning the Dance of Life.” To read about her incredible story
So today, I would like to teach you, How to set smart goals. Smart Goals, that make you want to get up in the morning. Goals, that motivate and inspire you to action.
Do you have a goal to write a book? Is there a testimony that God has purposed you to share?
Goal Setting and Achievement Step # 1 Start with a road-map
He who doesn’t have a map gets lost.
If you don’t know where you are going, then it doesn’t matter where you end up.
Begin with the end in mind e.g.
• I want to have $500,000 in my bank account at the age of 65, so as not to be a burden to my kids.
• I want to leave a legacy and an inheritance for my children and my children’s children.
• I want to have 3 children, a husband, a good job and own my own home by the time I am 35 years old.
• Tom Brady goal is becoming the best at the sport
• Amy’s goal was to continue doing the things she did with legs and then inspire others along the way.
Knowing where you are going allows you to map the route to your destination.
The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts, the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.
How To Set Smart Goals Step 2: Know Your Why?
What was Tom Brady’s Why?
What was Amy’s why?
He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure. His every thought is allied with power, and all difficulties are bravely met and wisely overcome. His purposes are seasonably planted, and they bloom and bring forth fruit, which does not fall prematurely to the ground.
Why do you want to have $500,000 in your bank account at 65?
• Do you want to travel the world?
• Do you want to be sure you have enough income to last for 30 years after retirement? So as not to depend on your kids or the government to take care of you?
Knowing your why will get you through the tough times.
Characteristics of a Strong Goal: A goal must have 3 characteristics:
It must be specific – $500,000
It must have a date for completion – 65 years old
It must be realistic and achievable – A goal can be just a dream with a date on it
How to Set Smart Goals Step 3: Plan your route
So, you want to have $500,000 in the bank at 65 years old.
If you are 30 years old now and have $10,000 in the bank, what would your route to get you $490,000 in the bank in 35 years?
What kind of investment strategies can get you there?
If you plan to work and get a paycheck then that goal will not realistic or achievable.
There are investment strategies that can get you there.
Buying and selling real estate can get you there.
Speak with a financial planner to put together an investment strategy that will get you to your goal.
How to Set Smart Goals Step 4: Measure your progress
If you have a 35-year plan to make $490,000.
You should measure your progress on a yearly basis.
At the end of year one, you should be $14,000 richer by year two $28,000 richer than year one and so on and so on.
If by your 40th year, you have made no progress, then you should take a hard look at your financial situation and make some changes.
You have to make changes to the route.
Are you still working and trying to save? We know that is not going to work.
You may have to use Leverage.
Borrow to invest. Get your credit score in shape and borrow to invest in Real Estate. I was listening to the audio book “Self Made” last week and the author said don’t buy shoes, buy buildings! Great advice.
What you shouldn’t do is worry that you would be broke and penniless at 65 years old and have to be placed in a nursing home. I know where your mind goes when you think of yourself as a failure.
Disease and health, like circumstances, are rooted in thought. Sickly thoughts will express themselves through a sickly body. Thoughts of fear have been known to kill a man as speedily as a bullet, and they are continually killing thousands of people just as surely though less rapidly. The people who live in fear of disease are the people who get it. Anxiety quickly demoralizes the whole body, and lays it open to the entrance of disease; while impure thoughts, even if not physically indulged, will soon shatter the nervous system.
How to Set Smart Goals Step 5: Be prepared for the twists and turns in the road
What skills do you need to acquire to achieve this goal?
What contacts do you need?
What additional knowledge do you need?
What resources do you need to accomplish this goal?
Remember that just because you set a, goal, and a destination don’t expect the weather will cooperate and the sky will be sunny for the entire trip.
No. Expect that there will be circumstances beyond your control that will delay you so build in a buffer. Add a few years to your deadline.
In the 30 years to your goal, you will experience set backs. A job loss, a divorce, health issues etc. Don’t let the twists and turns in the road, derail you from your goals.
I heard a story of a mother of two who was laid off and without income. She decided to start selling the things in her home on eBay to pay the bills. She then started a meet up group for other eBay sellers to learn the business. She got information for sourcing discount items from wholesalers to sell on eBay. Obviously, her household items could only get her so far!
At one of these meetup meetings she met an executive from eBay who encouraged her to become a certified ambassador for eBay. That 10Xd her business. Today she has income of over one million dollars annually from eBay sales.
The lesson, setbacks can push you in the direction of your purpose; so change the way you look at failure.
Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being. The sole and supreme use of suffering is to purify, to burn out all that is useless and impure. Suffering ceases for him who is pure. There could be no object in burning gold after the dross had been removed, and a perfectly pure and enlightened being could not suffer.
How to Set Smart Goals Step 6: Seeing your path
Use your imagination to visualize the things you want to accomplish
Visualize in color with all the details!
At 65 years old, what will you look like?
What color would be your hair, what are you wearing?
Where will you be living?
Who will be the partner by your side?
What will the house sound like when the grand children come to visit and run and play all over the house?
What countries will you travel to? How long will you stay?
See with your mind’s eye the entire life you want.
See it, touch it, taste it for 15 mins every day.
If you are a visual person you can use a picture to represent your dream and look at it every day.
Only by much searching and mining, are gold and diamonds obtained, and man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul; and that he is the maker of his character, the molder of his life, and the builder of his destiny.
So, live your life on purpose. Set goals, for achievement, for contribution for fun and play and then go do it!
Your Life Theme and, personalities, shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes and the, 16 personalities types, that can compose your identity.
Introduction
John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman. He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill. That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, 16 personalities types, controls our communication.
He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are. That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions. Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.
How to identify our 16 Personalities.
John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale. That is how you read people.
Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun. I want to appease the, personalities, so when I walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down. I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.
Our, personality, as our way of expression. Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization. The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.
Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.
True, but I look at what do you like to do for fun? What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?” I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are. I am able to identify one of your, 16 personalities types, from this test.
Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You
Your Life Theme offers the, personality, framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.
You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or “Life Themes.”
These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.
These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.
These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.
While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.
They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.
Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.
The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator
An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.
According to, Myers-Briggs, theory of, personality types, people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:
Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:
Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
The 16 personalities types
The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.
The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.
The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.
The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.
All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:
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The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:
The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
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As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.
What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.
All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:
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Understanding the concept of ARETÉ — the Greek word for virtue and the pursuit of excellence in fulfilling one’s purpose. In the hustle of everyday life, it’s easy to become disconnected from our deepest aspirations and potentials. Brian Johnson, the founder and CEO of Heroic and author of ARETÉ, recently sat down with life coach Myrna Young to discuss tapping into our inner hero, overcoming fears, and living a more purposeful life. Drawing from a wealth of philosophical studies and personal experience, Johnson shares actionable steps toward self-improvement that promise to ignite our heroic fires.
Pursuit of Excellence: Understanding the concept of ARETÉ — the Greek word for virtue and the pursuit of excellence in fulfilling one’s purpose.
Overcoming Fear with Courage: The role of bravery in confronting life’s challenges and the necessity of courage for personal growth.
Daily Masterpieces: The importance of tackling self-improvement and excellence daily to create a cumulative impact on our broader life goals.
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The ancient Greek concept of ARETÉ is a rich and potent term referring to the pursuit of excellence aligned with our purpose. Johnson has embodied this term, making it the north star of his life’s work. He discusses with Myrna the notion that the pursuit of excellence must begin with the recognition that ARETÉ is attainable and deeply rooted in ancient wisdom and affirmed by modern science.
“It’s the essence of my life’s work,” Brian states, as he explains the fundamental importance of reducing the gap between our potential and our actions. When we operate below our capabilities, feelings of regret and dissatisfaction creep in. In contrast, living with ARETÉ fills the void with fulfillment and passion.
Johnson advises individuals to take some time away from distractions like Netflix and social media to reflect on who they aspire to be. He suggests visualizing our future selves and identifying moments in the past when we felt truly alive and fulfilled. Connecting these two points provides a clearer picture of what we can become.
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One of the supervening messages from Johnson’s discussion is the critical role of courage. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the will to act despite it. Johnson reinforces this through a personal anecdote about his son’s reluctance to participate in a chess tournament due to fear of defeat.
“The win there was going,” Johnson notes, marking the importance of the act of trying over the outcome. This illustrates the significance of instilling bravery as a value—not just in ourselves but in our successors.
The act of overcoming our inner doubter, that voice in our heads that beseeches us to play it safe, is essential for growth. Breaking through the fear barrier is a cornerstone of ARETÉ that Johnson passionately upholds: stepping into our challenges is how we kindle our inner hero.
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One of the objectives Johnson outlines in ARETÉ is the principle of making today a masterpiece. The idea is to focus on being our best selves in present moments, which sequentially contribute to a more significant, fulfilling future.
“Make today a masterpiece. Not someday, today,” Brian advises. He emphasizes this by advocating for an incremental improvement approach—stretching ourselves by just a minuscule percentage, repeatedly, can lead to accomplishing seemingly impossible goals.
This philosophy aligns with Johnson’s comment about teaching his son to focus on continuous learning and improvement, rather than solely on winning. By prioritizing our growth and learning from every experience, we tread a path toward mastery in our personal and professional lives.
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In retrospect, Brian Johnson’s conversation with Myrna Young is a vivid tapestry intertwining the ancient concept of ARETÉ with practical life lessons and philosophies. Readers are left with an empowering message of harnessing inner potential, facing fears with unyielding courage, and building a life of greatness through the accumulation of daily acts of excellence.
Johnson’s tale of his son’s chess tournaments serves as a microcosm of a broader narrative — that our greatest learnings and developments stem from our willingness to confront that which intimidates us. The acknowledgment that personal growth is a result of a steady, intentional, and courageous commitment to betterment is a takeaway that holds profound implications for anyone seeking meaning and vibrancy in their life.
By embodying the principles of ARETÉ such as wisdom, discipline, love, and courage, bolstered by gratitude, hope, curiosity, and zest, we don’t just approach life — we sculpt it, day by day, into a masterpiece. Brian Johnson’s insights serve as a reminder that the heroic resides not in the extraordinary but within the reach of our daily choices and courage to stretch just a little further into our greatness.
Which wolf are you feeding? The wolf that wins is the one you feed. The wolf you choose to feed will define who you are. We all know we should feed the, good wolf, even if it’s harder. Feeding the, good wolf, is how we end up feeling a sense of accomplishment and success at the end of the day.
In this week’s episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to teach on the topic, Which Wolf are you feeding?
Let me share with you an ancient story: Which Wolf Are You feeding?
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” The one you feed.
This story depicts the battle for your mind.
There is a war going on in your mind
Every choice we make is a battle between the two wolves in our head.
These two wolves are competing for supremacy. The one who wins is the one you feed.
Think of a dripping faucet. Most of us don’t have the patience to wait for the drips to fill our cup. We want to turn on the tap at full blast and have our cup full up in seconds, but our goals are like the dripping faucet, we make small steps towards them and we must have the staying power to watch the drips fill the cup.
This also builds mental toughness because of delayed gratification.
If you don’t conquer the mind, it becomes your enemy. If you feed the, evil wolf, then you make the mind your enemy.
The definition of an enemy is one who is opposed or hostile to something or a thing that weakens or harms you.
Feeding your anger, fear, greed ego, envy, insecurities and jealousy with negative thoughts and emotions harms and weakens you. The negative emotions gets stronger while the positive qualities gets weaker and weaker.
Start feeding the, good wolf, that represents love, compassion, humility, patience, peace and harmony. You conquer the mind by staying the course, by watching the faucet drip and having faith that the cup will eventually fill up.
Another way to conquer the mind is by talking back to it out loud.
For example.. If the voice in your head is telling you that you always quit and that you will never get your degree reply out loud “just watch me. I will finish this class no Devil in hell is going to prevent me from getting my degree. Get behind me Satan.”
Do not feed the one that presents fear and insecurity, remember that fear is false evidence appearing real.
If the, inferiority wolf, tells you that you no man will love you because you are not educated, talk back to it with your voice and say “I will find happiness and love because I am love, I have a lot to offer a man, I don’t need an education, any man would be blessed to have me. The next man who comes my way will be exactly what I prayed for. He will be kind and generous and love me like I deserve to be loved.” That is how you feed to, faith wolf!
One truth to remember is that it’s so much easier to feed the bad wolf. The, evil wolf, is is easy to get angry, complain, feel resentful, dismiss or ignore others, and feel superior.
There is almost no effort required to do those things, and you’re getting the reward with the sensation of relieving and instant gratification without much an action.
The, good wolf, is very different; it’s picky, it’s harder to feed. It’s challenging, tiring and time-consuming to do things like learning, teaching, inspiring, sharing or simply sticking to a new behavior. These things take so much energy, effort, momentum, and guts. And you don’t usually see immediate results from them.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna I hope you were encouraged today and that you stay in joy peace and harmony so the, evil wolf, would never get you.
The, words, that I used all the time was “I shouldn’t have eaten that”. Then I always pray to God for help to stop me from, binge eating. I didn’t want to, eat, all of that food, so I became like almost obsessive about, dieting, and my, relationship with food and how to, lose weight.
Isabel’s new book EAT YOUR WORDS is not the typical, self-help diet book, Instead, Isabel’s approach is a more narrative, semi-autobiographical exploration of the sensual-and-painful relationship to food so many of us can’t escape. The book expertly coaches from life lessons and experiences of the uber-relatable curvaceous girl entry into womanhood. Her hearty Italian appetite make for a complex-carb tale about the depth of our relationship with self-nourishment.
Myrna: Isabel, can you share with our listeners your own journey through, body shaming, and self-discovery?
Isabel: Of course. In my own journey, food, eating and, dieting, has always been a big point of contention my whole life. It was through this non-acceptable way that I eat and always focus on the food. I always guilty after eating, like I shouldn’t have eaten it. My internal dialogue was always on how to, lose weight.
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Your Words are important if you want to Lose weight
The, words, that I used all the time was “I shouldn’t have eaten that”. Then I always pray to God for help to stop me from, binge eating. I didn’t want to, eat, all of that food, so I became like almost obsessive about, dieting, and my, relationship with food and how to, lose weight.
I started using, words, like there’s a certain way to, eat, there’s a certain way to be with food, and, diet. Each day I try to do it, there was always a new, diet. That is what has been the journey of my life. It’s been a journey of the kind of needs to come to terms with on some level and I think the, body shaming, was me telling myself my body is this way because I ate all that food and that was no way to, lose weight.
Many times in my book, my main character, I say she’s walking around with no head. This is to highlight that sometimes we are disconnected our head from our body. It’s a very common feeling or a life existence that is happening on some level. It’s kind of introspection book on the whole journey of the, body shaming, and coming to terms with the body, mind and spirit on some level.
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Myrna: How did you transition from walking around kind of discombobulated – which is a word where you’re not connected and then you got to the point where you’re going to, eat your words, because you’re not going to be telling yourself these negative things about food. What was your transition? Did you go to a Therapist to start to, lose weight?
Isabel: There have been a million people involved in this process, because you’re always a person with focus and you’re always trying to come up with a resolution to stop, self destructive eating and how to, lose weight. It’s almost like I became a researcher. It was really a journey of finding what was really in my own soul, what was I really like?
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If your body and mind are disconnected, you can’t even figure out what your, words, are saying to you. I saying to myself on a daily basis, a lot of negative, words, about myself and my body. I saying these, words, to myself before I, eat, and after I, eat.
What happens is when you take yourself to task on some level, when you start to really become conscious, you notice your, words. First thing I became conscious was I knew I needed to be in my body. Because when you are out of your body you eat unconsciously. For different people, it’s different things. I started to work out because I needed to feel my body and I was out of it. You can’t, lose weight, if you are not in your body.
The other thing was, as long as you’re feeling your body, then you get to hear your, words, and what you’re saying to yourself. So, the, words, started to become more conscious. What I have realized lately is that to be out of your body, you have to be really busy with things. If you’re busy, then you also have those, words, that are saying – oh! I’m so busy, I didn’t, eat, all day long and I’m starving. Now, I have a permission to just, eat, whatever I want, wherever I want and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter which is what we say to ourselves. So you sabotage your efforts to, lose weight.
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Myrna: Where did your, self destructive eating, habits come from? I know you mentioned that you’re Italian and, Italian food, has a lot of carbs and pastas and things like that. Is that where your, eating habits, came from?
Isabel: Yes, except for Italians are for the most part are thin! I mean I’m in the restaurant business. I started my whole life in a family restaurant business, so my focus in life became food. At an early age, when we made food, we made huge meals. I never knew what a, portion size, was like. I never used the, words, portion size, until I was in my 30s and 40s!
I would go to my friend’s homes and they would have like a bit of rice, or a bit of meat. I was like confused when I was younger, because that was never what happened at our house. I understand now the, portion size, mentality that really showed up in my whole scope of thought. My whole thought pattern shifted and I became conscious that large portion sizes defeats my ability to, lose weight.
I was no longer eating like I was at an you can eat buffet. My, eating habits, as a child made me end up with this buffet mentality.
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Myrna: At some point in time, you developed, body shame. You took me through your self-discovery, how did you use your, words, to stop, body shaming and accepting that you are a curvaceous girl?
Isabel: Body shaming, comes when you start a comparison with other people who are a certain size. You see people in a certain way and then you start looking at yourself as different. Each time you talk to people, you’re like wait, why don’t I look like you? But it doesn’t matter because we already internalized that there’s something wrong with us and that we need to, lose weight.
Whatever we look like, we want to be someone else. People start to say oh, for a little girly you’re eating a lot. Then you start to make a correlation with; I’m eating a lot, there’s weight here and there’s something wrong with what’s happening in me. I’m not okay and that’s how one starts to develop, body shame.
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Myrna: Why do you think we purposely distract ourselves when making food choices to the detriment of our health and, binge eating?
Isabel: I’m not a psychologist, I just know. I’ve been looking at this behavior for a long time. What I think is that we distract ourselves because we don’t want to feel the things that is going on in our life. I think a lot of times, when we do choose, binge eating, we are actually eating food as a distraction.
Maybe the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing kind of thing. A lot of times, we start to, eat, because we start to feel something’s coming up. It doesn’t matter what it is, it could be happy, it could be sad, it could be like anger and/or even bored. I, eat, when I’m bored.
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Notice what going on in your body before you eat that food
When there’s nothing going on, there’s still something going on in your body. If there’s something going on your body, but you’re not present to it or you don’t want to know what it is or what for every reason, you’re not used to it. I think a lot of times people don’t recognize their feelings or they judge their feelings.
I’m a night time eater. I could do all day long with no food (because every emotion from the day maybe was just piled up), but at night, I’m like a wreck for that. Not for nighttime or for that one time and it’s all starting to come up and then we’re like let’s just go for it and we start, binge eating.
Myrna: Yes, that has been my biggest struggle for a long period of time. I couldn’t stop eating at night. It’s a little under control now, but that was my biggest struggle for a while.
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Isabel: I decided to lose the word, diet. I decided to do something different for myself which eventually added more nourishment and nutrition to my day. I first started with being in my body, and then I used my, words, to say let me give myself food instead of saying, I’m going to take away food and I’m not going to eat this.
I started giving myself different foods, I allowed myself to have more nutritious foods and I started creating a new mindset. This new mindset was alright. I was totally resistant to this, but I started finding a place that had green drinks. I could have green drinks which took the edge off of hunger and it made me feel in my body. So, instead of going into the business of my whole day, I’m going to add a green drink. Just one thing, I added nutrition instead of taking something away, I was going to give myself things.
If someone once likes eating at night, instead of having the bad things we want to, eat, at night you and what would you give what did you give yourself to replace that because a green drink. Just starting to give yourself other more nutritional things maybe you want to give yourself more vegetables than that and rice.
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Myrna: How can those of us struggling with, weight gain, and a pure relationship to food face the issue head-on?
Isabel: The first thing I say is to, change your mindset. Start creating an intention for yourself and start creating a, mindset, that you’re in the middle of the process. I always like to say we’re always in the middle of the process and that we are shifting. We’re always shifting and we’re always changing, even though it looks really bad – it always looks really bad before it gets really good. We’re going to start to use the right, words.
Myrna: Tell us about your book “Eat Your Words”, why you wrote it and what do you want someone that’s reading it to walk away with?
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Isabel: The book was a way to be conscious for myself like it really was. I wrote it for myself like a journal. I was really writing a book, but it was the stories of my life. So the goal was for me to get to some kind of resolution in my life. The stories are for people to really understand that they’re not struggling in this arena by themselves. This is really to bring the behaviors to consciousness and to show anybody that he/she is not the only one going through this. I mean most of the world is going through this on some level.
Now you become conscious of what the, words, are and how they affected our behaviors and through that, there is healing that can be done when you see something that somebody else is doing and you hear what their process is. I bring up a lot of processes.
Myrna: Where does the, “Eat Your Words,” come from? I’m assuming it’s internal dialogue.
Isabel: “Eat Your Words,” is internal dialogue and it starts at the origins of the family.
Myrna: It’s all about inner dialogue? But the inner dialogue as you can imagine is kind of runs your life and it could be conscious or unconscious.
Isabel: It wasn’t so sometimes.
Myrna: It’s unconscious right?
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Isabel: It was the, words, that I would say, as my mantra was, oh I don’t care. The biggest, words, were “oh I don’t care”. However, once you start saying I don’t care, it doesn’t just apply to what you are eating. It really becomes what you start to say to yourself, the, words, you use.
I don’t care,
Oh I don’t care about myself
So I don’t care what I put in my body.
Anyway I don’t care what becomes of my life.
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Myrna: How can readers connect with you and get a copy of your book?
Isabel: If anyone wants to get the first chapter of my book, just to see if they like it or if it works for them, they can go to https://isabel-chiara.com, on that page, they could download the first chapter for free or they could just buy the book on Amazon.
We also have a membership site called Healing and Activation Process Integrations. Happy place is what I call it. It’s going to be a lot of processes that are going to help people to get inside of themselves. It can move things and look at things differently and channel them differently.
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If you do not take control of your, emotional intelligence, and thoughts, they will repeat in cycles. We have over 70,000 thoughts per day and 90% of these thoughts repeat over and over. That is why people get stuck in life, reliving the past like Groundhog day.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
Jenny R. Craig, LCSW, BCD is a, transformation, specialist, utilizing her expertise in assisting leaders in creating authentic, profound, long-lasting impact in their organizations and personal lives.
Emotional intelligence, is important because, Strategic planning, does not kick in until the mid-twenties.
Also any huge trauma changes the way the brain works.
As a, transformation, coach we give our clients tools and techniques that can move them through the darkness of being stuck in rewind, and into the light. The light is to find out your true purpose and discover who you really are.
Emotional Intelligence, allows you to do the mental work in living a purposeful life.
Here are four traits of Emotional Intelligence:
* Self Awareness: Knowing what we are feeling and why we are feeling this way.
Self awareness definition: They said that self-awareness is the ability to look inward, think deeply about your behavior, and consider how it aligns with your moral standards and values. When your behavior is out of alignment with your standards, you feel uncomfortable, unhappy and negative.
* Self Management: Handling distressing emotions so that they don’t cripple you. Self-management, which is also referred to as “self-control” or “self-regulation,” is the ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations.
* Empathy: Knowing what someone else is feeling. Being capable of walking in another man’s shoes. Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another’s perspective, to understand, feel and possibly share and respond to their experience. There are more definitions of empathy that include but is not limited to social, cognitive, and emotional processes primarily concerned with understanding others
* Skilled Relationships: There is not a better barometer of, emotional intelligence, than the quality of one’s relationships. When you put the top three skills together, you will have quality and healthy relationships.
Emotional intelligence, refers, to the ability to identify and manage one’s own, emotions, as well as the, emotions, of others.
Emotional intelligence, is generally said to include at least three skills:
emotional awareness,
the ability to identify and name one’s own, emotions
the ability to harness those, emotions, and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving
the ability to manage, emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own, emotions, when necessary and helping others to do the same.
There is no validated, emotional intelligence test.
Test for, emotional intelligence, looks for the general intelligence factor—and many argue that, emotional intelligence, is therefore not an actual construct, but a way of describing interpersonal skills that go by other names.
Despite this criticism, the concept of, emotional intelligence, sometimes referred to as emotional quotient or EQ—has gained wide acceptance. In recent years, some employers have even incorporated, emotional intelligence tests, into their application and interview processes, on the theory that someone high in, emotional intelligence, would make a better leader or coworker.
Conclusion
I am grateful that you have tuned into this podcast from all around the world. I believe that the spirit of God has attracted you here so that you can receive the insights, revelations and knowledge revealed on this broadcast. Whatever you need for this day in your life you will receive. I can truly say that your life will never be the same because a brain that has been expanded with knowledge can never return to it’s original size. I invite you to subscribe to this podcast so that you will receive new podcasts every week with more insights, revelations and knowledge so that you can live your best life now.
Visit me on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com and sign up for a free strategy session.
Author Traci Thomas offers, reflection on her abandonment by her mother in her book, Reflection 4 Rejection. Traci answers the question how does rejection by a natural mother affect the child’s self worth and self esteem for the rest of their life.
On, reflection, I feel that, rejection, by your natural mother, it’s such a unique, unusual, weird, inhumane space to be. It nonetheless served such a great purpose in my life, and what I mean by that is the following. It’s one of those preambles whereas once you have survived this type of, rejection, you pretty much can walk on water, and I mean that literally and figuratively. It’s one of those scenarios and situations very few people ever experience or understand. When you suffer from, abandonment, you’re in your own community and it’s isolating; but yet you’re so powerful at the same time.
With that being said once you overcome this, abandonment, and it is a challenge, it’s a lot to muddle through. However, once you get through it, and you’re on the other side, there’s nothing you can’t do. So in my situation, it’s like a head of bipartisan. I had two scenarios, two lives coexisting at one time. I had a father who had full custody of me at three years old. That’s when my natural, mother, and my dad were divorced back in 1968. I was born in 1965, that was unheard of within the United States. Very few fathers gained custody of their children or their child, so that in itself is a profound statement. That also shows you how little fight my natural, mother, put up to keep me.
I do remember one particular time my, mother, did quote, unquote kidnap me. She did take me when I got off the school bus when I was in kindergarten, and she took me to Philadelphia and thank God my father and the FBI came and rescued me. But even when she’s so-called put forth some effort, to show that she wanted me, it was still a situation where I was locked up in a room, there were German Shepherds downstairs and the FBI had to come and get me. She never really exemplified that she wanted me; but that’s okay and that’s what I explained in the book. It’s perfectly okay, because I define what, abandonment, is. It’s a supernatural definition. I actually give you, hind sights, definitions, elaborations and explanations as to what’s going on. What’s happening, why your natural, mother, abandoned, you. It took me 50 years to figure it out, which is sad, but at least I figured it out.
Wikipedia says that, abandonment issues, causes Abandoned child Syndrome.
Abandoned child syndrome is a proposed behavioral or psychological condition that results primarily from the loss of one or both parents or sexual abuse.
Abandonment issues, may stem from physical (the parent is not present in the child’s life) or emotional (the parent withholds affection, nurturing, or stimulation). The abandoned child syndrome is not recognized as a mental illness.
Mothers, who leave their children, or when a parent is alienated from their children by the other parent (after a bitter divorce, DCHS, or foster care), can cause psychological damage to the child. This damage is reversible, but only with appropriate assistance. Abandoned children may also often suffer physical damage from, rejection, malnutrition, starvation, and abuse.
I want to comment on something you said that’s a little different from my normal association with, abandonment, you said it took you about 50 years to get to the other side and it was very isolating; but once you got to the other side you felt like you could walk on water. Which is a very positive spin on, abandonment, because if you were to take a survey of the, child abandonment, community you will find that most kids end up having a lot of self-esteem issues, they don’t think they’re good enough.
When you feel, abandoned, it’s not your imagination. When you make every effort imaginable to connect or contact your natural mother and every single attempt, every single effort, every single expendable energy that you put forth, the end result is just this repellent. It’s this, rejection, of your natural, mother, not wanting you or your natural, mother, treating you as if you’re a bill collector. Your natural, mother, is literally tolerating you and can’t wait to get you off the phone. When you’re in a scenario like that again and again, it’s so bizarre.
On, reflection, once you’ve been in a situation where you’ve made every effort and did somersaults, headstands, back-flips, anything you can think of to connect with your natural mother, and every single attempt is unproductive and counterproductive. It’s toxic, and it’s unhealthy, because of the way that you feel afterwards. You literally feel as if you’ve been punched in the stomach with every single attempt to get the love of your, mother.
You’re in tears and you’re shaking, and you have anxiety, and then you go through life thinking that you’ve got to kiss every behind in the universe. You have this feeling of inadequacy this feeling of I’m not good enough, there’s something wrong with me. That’s why I wrote the book, because I do not want another human being going through five decades of what I went through. That’s why I engineered and composed the book.
My objective in writing the book, is for someone to have an open mind and instead of going through life telling themselves, my own, mother, didn’t want me. Even though that is true, instead they can tell themselves that they have every right and privilege to not want her either.
Power is something you take, nobody gives you power. You snatch power.
So what I wish to do with this work, with this writing, is to allow an individual to look at being, abandoned, in hindsight. Let’s really look at it and put an autopsy and microscope on, abandonment, for a second. If you really do this it’s not hard at all, you won’t have to go through all these dog and pony shows and tail spins. Kissing this one’s tail, and doing back flips for this person, and making your, mother, love you, trying to buy this person, begging for love, please love me, please like me. You don’t have to go through all of those mental gymnastics. It’s not necessary. I’m trying to save somebody 50 years.
Abandonment, from Relationships
Can this scenario be also transferred to people who are, rejected, period? I mean because, rejection, and being, abandoned, are not only synonymous with, mothers, or parents. Men can reject you, your friends can reject you, jobs can fire you. Is this information transferable?
I placed a laser focus on this particular relationship between a child and a natural, mother. This ironically is not, rejection, and if you read the book you’ll totally comprehend what I’m speaking about. The natural, mother, is not rejecting you, the natural, mother, is rejecting the reminder of neglecting you. The natural, mother, doesn’t even know you. How can somebody reject you when they don’t even know you? That makes absolutely no sense.
I’ve seen that the trauma that it is caused in young lives and almost every aspect of being , abandoned, or, rejection. So it’s kind of good to tell yourself that your natural, mother, didn’t reject you because she doesn’t know you. If you actually do believe that I can understand that it is easier to get to the other side. That’s good, I like that spin.
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What is the main message of your book Reflection for Rejection?
I wrote the book to give some insight to, child abandonment.
What message would you give to that listener of why they should go out and buy the book?
It would be in their best interest even if they don’t get the book, if they just listened to the podcast, because it summarizes the book. It’s their prerogative if they wish to purchase it or not. I mean that’s their choice; but with that being said.
Don’t ever allow another person, place or thing to define your self-worth. Don’t do that. Don’t ever give someone that opportunity or luxury.
I know you talked about your natural mother not really rejecting you because she didn’t know you; but did you touch on psychologically what was happening to her for her to have that unnatural response to her biological daughter?
My father, God bless his soul, was extremely intimidating. He was a very wealthy, powerful, articulate, worldly man. He traveled a lot because he was a computer programmer, so he was extremely I guess very controlling. So I give my, mother, an inkling of understanding, because he was pretty much a womanizer.
I’m not giving her a full 24-hour pass, but I am giving her an hour pass. I can’t really give her a full 24-hour pass, because there are, mothers, who have gone through the same episode and they didn’t react that way.
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One of the things that I noticed talking with you Traci is that I see no evidence of PTSD from being, abandoned, by your, mother. Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls, usually develops for girls who have been sexually abused, neglected, or abandoned. You said that every time you tried it to communicate with your mom, or tried to make her love you, or tried to form a relationship; you felt like you got punched in the stomach. At those times were you ever angry?
What’s so interesting is that I got angry at the end. Like right in the last year. My book goes in chronological order. In the book, I actually highlight the events that have occurred during the last five decades, and what’s so flabbergasting to me is that I didn’t get angry and livid until the very end. I wasn’t angry at her, I was angry at me for participating. I was so livid at myself for wasting so much time, that it took me decades to come down from the humiliation, the frustration, the hurt, the pain, the disappointment, the monotony, and the redundancy.
Getting to the other side, puts you in a disposition where you’re at total complete peace. I call it a, mother, transplant because once you realize why she acts the way she does, once that clicks in your brain, a light bulb goes off and you’re free.
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When you read the book you’ll completely understand what’s going on and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Your, mother, didn’t reject you, she can’t reject you because she doesn’t know you.
Yes, I understand what you’re saying. After you become immune to the, rejection, and you get on the other side of, abandonment, when you get to the other side, you feel empowered like you can walk on water. Nobody else has the capability of hurting you.
Childhood trauma and, abandonment, affects children in many ways.
Childhood trauma, #1
1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder,
spending or gambling, workaholics etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.
Childhood trauma, #2
2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and
yelling at each other? The typical is yelling screaming but
this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like
“you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.
Childhood trauma, #3
3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for
long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they
came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours. There’s anxiety around that.
So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our
kids there home alone.
Childhood trauma, #4
4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – The rape or Molestation could have happened
in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than
the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools
we’re supposed to teach our child another way. If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.
Childhood trauma, #5
5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma from, abandonment. Fault and No Fault, abandonment.
Here are three examples of no-fault, abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24
Here is an example of “Fault”, abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home
and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new
girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.
Childhood trauma, #6
6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to
live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even
includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t
want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was
always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.
Childhood trauma, #7
7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not
fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky.
Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.
8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a
medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time.
Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you
perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful
or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m
worthwhile too.
Childhood trauma, #9
9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved
a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years.
Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma.
Today we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass
Shootings.
10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities.
We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma.
Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they
act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or
the repercussions.
Two examples of sociopaths are Steve Jobs and Tiger woods.
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Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting, is a style characterized by a lack of responsiveness to a child’s needs. Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of their children and they are often indifferent, dismissive, or even completely neglectful.
Child abuse happens when a parent or care giver of a minor child allows, inflicts or permits physical or sexual abuse or allows a situation where there is a risk of physical injury. Child neglect means a minor child lacks adequate care and is danger of physical or psychological harm.
