My guest today shares her story of years of, domestic violence, she was verbally and physically abused by her parents and then continued the cycle into, abusive relationships, one of them almost killing her. After her last, abusive relationship, ended, she discovered that he was sexually molesting her 7 year old daughter. Shermomicia tells a powerful story of how she is stopping the cycle of, domestic violence, and healing her family.
Domestic Abuse and Childhood Trauma
Shermonicia tell me your back story. I know you’re studying for your masters right now but can you take us through your journey to this point in your life.
I have three sisters and one brother. The four of us growing up with my mother and father they were both on drugs. My whole entire life was abusive. I am also a victim of, sexual molestation. I was sexually attacked when I was like seven or eight. It was hard growing up with both parents on drugs. I have three kids with 3 different men who were all abusive.
I’m going to talk about the abuse today is where the abuse that almost cost me my life.
I would say that my abuse started way before I even got with any man. My mother was very verbally and physically abusive. Every day she would tell me how she wished she never had us.
She called us all kind of names so, I didn’t have no self-esteem, none whatsoever. My father was abusive as well, he would abuse my mom. It led me to abusive men. I got married to my son’s dad and he was verbally abusive. He left me and my son with no money and we got evicted. I lost my job because of him and we’d had nowhere to go, so my mother decided I guess you can come stay with me.
So I lived with her for a little while and I was able to get back on my own feet to get my own place. I met my oldest daughter father 2 years after my divorce. We got together and I had his child seven months after we met. Four months after she was born, the abuse and , domestic violence, started. It lasted for four years. I was physically beaten not daily, maybe every other day. He was a monster.
He really was. I have been kicked in my head, I have been punched and choked and slapped; brought up against walls dragged, through the house by my hair. He locked me in a closet, he used belts. I didn’t want to sleep with him, two times he knocked me unconscious and he got so scared because he thought he killed me.
Wow, domestic violence, is no joke. It is hard for me to write this.
Multiple domestic violence relationships
Shermonicia let’s talk about what happened in the third, domestic violence, relationship.
I met him in 2013 and right away we started a sexual relationship. He was always saying I don’t want a girlfriend, I just want to have have fun. I got pregnant seven months after meeting him. So here I am, a third child by a third man. He used God to get in the door. He said God told me you’re going to be my wife and he just he moved in.
For the first 3-4 months the relationship was wonderful. He’s was a, narcissist, who used sex to control, He was very sexual he used sex with everything that he does, so after 4 months the verbal and, mental abuse, started. The pattern of, domestic violence, started again. He’d push me against the wall, he’d put his hands on me, but it wasn’t like the first, domestic violence, relationship I was in.
He propose and we were planning our wedding and fifty days before the wedding he called it off. He jumped on me in front of my children and walked out. About a month after he left he left, my seven-year-old daughter came to me and said he put grease between my legs. That kind of caught me off guard and when I went to him and asked him about it and he said she was hurting down there so I put grease.
My daughter would not talk about it until I took her to a church group, the lady was sharing about how her father molested her and she broke down and told me all what her was doing to her. It was almost like a second heartbreak to me because I was dealing with a breakup. We had a four year old child together, I was going to marry this man. It was devastating and so I immediately contacted the authorities and you know got everything going. The trial starts in a couple of weeks.
Tune in to listen to this incredible story of survival and how Shermomicia is making sure that the cycle does not continue to her daughters.
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RESOURCES:
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/a36976/domestic-emotional-abuse-survivors/
inner-pain-of-domestic-violence/
https://myhelps.us/10-ways-childhood-trauma-impact-adults-in-love/
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