blog, coaching, emotional intelligence, Life Coaching, Personal Development, personal development podcast, podcast

How to become Limitless: Emotional Intelligence Leadership

July 28, 2020 Myrna Morris Young

Become limitless, with, emotional intelligence leadership. Your, emotional intelligence leadership, skills keeps track of everything. It stores emotions, holds emotional experiences. Emotional intelligence self awareness, refers to your ability to notice and express your emotions. How well you control your own emotions and to notice as well and to manage how those emotions affect you and affect us around you in positive or negative ways.

Listen to the Full Interview

Introduction to becoming Limitless with, Emotional Intelligence Self Awareness

My guest today is Adri Kyser, she is an international holistic wellness and personal development Coach. We discuss the very exciting topic, renewing your mind, going from limited to, limitless by taping into our, emotional intelligence.

Adri Kyser yoga, uses the enlightened alchemy method that has helped thousands of women worldwide achieve everything from reduced pain and stress to increasing confidence and productivity. She’s also the co-author of the best-selling book “Overcoming Adversity and Entrepreneurship”

She was born in Venezuela, went to Law school, (since I was born in Guyana, we are neighbors.) But when she came to the United States she felt not good enough, because she spoke with an accent.

Adri has helped over 4500 men and women worldwide change the narrative of their painful memories, so they can tap into their own super power and go from being limited to living a life of, limitless, potential.

The Four Components to becoming, Limitless

I found four key components to long-lasting health, happiness and fulfillment using, emotional intelligence leadership.

Physical health – how you take care of your body
Mental wellness – how you perceive the world number
Emotional Intelligence – how you experience the world
Spiritual connection – how you feed your soul including, Adri Kyser yoga

When you really begin to work on these foundations, these pillars you begin to shift and see tremendous transformations in your life. You begin to heal from the inside out, and become empowered. You are no longer driven by your negative voice.

The impostor syndrome that a lot of us have, especially women is that voice that’s constantly saying. Are you sure you can do that? You’re not good enough to do that. That voice that feeds your fears, your insecurities and even your self-sabotaging behavior, that negative voice. Using your, emotional intelligence leadership, skills allows you to become aware of that voice.

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Myrna – If we want to change, then it’s never from the exterior, it’s always from the interior. A lot of women feel they are not good enough. Michelle Obama wrote an entire book on this subject “Becoming”. Even as the First Lady, she still felt not good enough.

We feel not good enough, when a person of authority tells us something negative and it becomes imprinted on our minds.

Most of the time we stuff it down and don’t actually know that we are holding on to that hurt, then it comes it comes up in chronic pain. It comes up in overeating or even when you drink or take drugs or any of that stuff. You are trying to artificially change your state; but one of the best ways to change your state is to go inwards maybe in gratitude, because that’s basically what I do.

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What is your method for teaching someone to understand what emotions they’ve stuffed down?

Adri – I call this process Enlightened Alchemy. This is a process that was born from my personal experience and then from working with clients. It is the process of transforming the physical, mental, and emotional with, emotional intelligence leadership. Including even the spiritual transformation of one’s self.

What made these transformations successful, was not just addressing the pain or one particular area of life, it was addressing all those four components of life. If you’re ready to get the soulmate, ready to lose the weight, ready to make X amount of money in your business? I am here to help you go from limited to, limitless, using your, emotional intelligence leadership.

I’m here to help you go within, clear some stuff, remove the stuff that’s preventing you from, becoming limitless. So you can feel empowered, so you can feel confident and know your true potential to, become limitless.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio — iHeart Radio

Myrna – As Coaches we are supposed to be enabling our clients, we’re supposed to be having our clients understand their blockages, understand what’s preventing them from becoming, limitless, by looking at their past and seeing their patterns. Using, emotional intelligence leadership.

Is your Enlightened Alchemy based on the four principles: the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual?

Adri – Yes. I also call myself an energy alchemist, because I do a lot of energy work and activation.

Because everybody’s unique, I truly believe in the holistic approach, mind, body, emotions and spirit; so that everything we do whether it’s business coaching or life coaching or whatever it is includes all four pillars.

How can, emotional intelligence leadership, help someone with emotions that they’ve stuffed down?

Adri – Your body remembers everything that you’ve ever done. Every emotion, every thought, how you’re eating, how you’re sleeping. It keeps track of everything. Moving to the mental part of your thoughts, on average an individual has about 70 000 thoughts per day.

About 10% of those thoughts are original thoughts so meaning 90% of your thoughts are repetition of the day before, or weeks before, or even years before. The problem with this, is your belief will affect your biology. Meaning your belief will affect how your body responds. It changes your biochemistry.

So that’s why the mind and body are so important. Emotional intelligence self awareness, keeps track of everything. It stores emotions, holds emotional experiences. Emotional intelligence leadership, refers to your ability to notice and express your emotions. How well you control your own emotions and to notice as well and to manage how those emotions affect you and affect us around you in positive or negative ways.

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What people don’t know is that emotions are molecules that carry information that affect the functioning of their cells their emotions. Emotional Intelligence, will affect your biology just as your thoughts. So, emotional intelligence leadership, is important, because if you don’t have, emotional intelligence self awareness, you are not able to relate with the world around you or with others.

You’re not able to read the social cues. Emotional intelligence leadership, also empowers you to take control back of your life. You’re no longer coming from a victim place, you’re no longer pointing fingers, because that person did this to me. Emotional intelligence leadership, is about understanding how you’re managing the emotions that you’re experiencing.

Emotional Intelligence to become Limitless — Emotional Intelligence leadership to become Limitless

According to Ayurveda the emotions that are not expressed or digested properly, gets buried in your tissues and fascia and will affect your physical well-being. So over 15 years of teaching, Adri Kyser yoga, and wellness, I have had students who cried after releasing these emotions that were buried in their tissues.

We hold anger in our liver, grief is in our chest and lungs.

The other thing I like about, emotional intelligence leadership, is it gives you the opportunity to take your power back. So if someone is making you angry, then you can ask yourself, why am I choosing to be angry about this?

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Then you can move to asking yourself, what is triggering this emotion within me?

You can take your power back, by not letting people trigger you. The other part about triggers is recognizing what part within you is getting triggered. Where the hurt coming from, because if you come and tell me Adri you are not a good rocket scientist, I wouldn’t get triggered.

You can only be triggered by limited beliefs. Limiting beliefs keep you limited not, limitless.

If somebody right now tells me either you’re a horrible coach or you’re a bad yoga teacher. It will probably trigger me because it could be true.

If there’s a trigger still around, that means there’s still a part of me that’s not healed. If you are still being triggered, you’ve gotta rub it out. Figure out what is making you angry? What is this anger telling me? Using, emotional intelligence leadership, skills and having the responsibility and the maturity and the tools necessary to go deeper and figure it out. It’s not saying that, Adri Kyser yoga, never gets angry.

We have to feel our emotions in order to process them, that’s emotional intelligence leadership. In order to release them and in order to learn the lessons that they want to teach us, so the next time your reaction may be milder.

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How do you go from limited to, limitless with, Emotional Intelligence Leadership

If you’re operating with, limited mindsets, then you are going to be limited. I like to start with the physical body, because that’s where you’re going to start seeing the fastest results. When you feel safe and secure, when you are comfortable in your own skin, then you’re going to be able to go deeper into the other layers.

So to become, limitless, it’s recognizing where your self-imposed limitations are. We can learn to fly and soar in our personal relationships, in our growth. The limits that we have, oftentimes come from self-imposed limitations or limits that other people have put on us. When it comes to living a, limitless, life it is working in your mindset and working on your, emotional intelligence leadership.

It’s really about becoming aware. Awareness is key. Thoughts and emotions you’re experiencing on a regular basis it is important to be aware. Grab a journal and start the practice where you write down the thoughts and emotions you’re having on a regular basis. Once a week or once a month review what you’re writing.

You’re going to see patterns. You’re going to say “oh my gosh look how many times I thought about this and that.”

Emotional intelligence leadership, is key. You cannot change something you don’t know. That it’s like being in a dark room that’s dirty and messy; but because the lights are out, you don’t see the the mess or the dirt until you turn the lights on.

I created a workbook that I’m happy to offer to your podcast listeners. It’s free. It’s simple, but it gives you some exercises and things that you can implement right away for you to become aware and notice some of your limiting beliefs that run in the background.

So with this workbook can take you from limited to, limitless. I give you the tools to become aware of your limiting beliefs. It allows you to understand that the universe is unlimited and the universe is abundant.

How can our listeners get a copy of your workbook.

My website is www.adrikaiser. They can also go to adrikeiser.com/free-gifts

Conclusion

If you decide to step out of your comfort zone and if you’re willing to work on yourself and use your, emotional intelligence leadership, and you’re willing to try something new. You can find new levels of strength, confidence, comfort or success that you never thought possible. So push yourself, because if you stay in your comfort zone, you’re never going to excel at anything.

I invite you to subscribe to the Transform your mind podcast YouTube channel to watch this interview live.

Additional Resources

https://myhelps.us/how-does-emotional-intelligence-affect-your-success/

https://globalleadershipfoundation.com/geit/eitest.html

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

blog, business, Entrepreneur, podcast, small business, startup

Funding Global Consciousness and Mental Awareness

July 20, 2020 Myrna Morris Young

My guest today is Charlie Hartwell, a Change Agent and Operating Partner at Bridge Builders Collaborative. Today we are going to be speaking on the topic “Funding the Global Movement towards, Consciousness, and Awareness”.

Listen to the Interview

Charlie is a Change Agent who shepherds ideas, resources and talent to drive global sustainable growth. Passionate about transformation and innovation, he is a leader who ignites teams to accomplish remarkable results. Charlie is also a Harvard Business School graduate and has led various roles in 14 different industries over his career.

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Myrna – I know business school teaches you about business. Why did you settle on the, consciousness, and mental awareness, part of business?

Charlie – I have to say my wife got me into it. You’ll probably hear about my wife a lot on this interview. I describe her as the wisdom of our family. My wife has been in the, consciousness, and, spirituality, space for 40 years, in various roles. She was also involved with The Mind and Life Institute. The Mind and life Institute was founded by a Stanford MBA, a Chilean neuro scientist and the Dalai Lama and proves through science the benefits of contemplative practices like, mindfulness, consciousness, mental awareness, etc. The organization’s started 40 years ago and my wife became involved about 14 or 15 years ago. She introduced me to the organization and the investors who started Bridge Builders Collaborative. They wanted to understand the science behind, mindfulness, and mind training. They needed someone to go out and find out whether there were investments for, consciousness, and, mental awareness, so they hired me to do that work for them; that was about nine years ago.

Myrna – Okay that’s great! Okay so 40 years, that’s a long time to be in the, consciousness, space. Do you practice, mindfulness, yourself or are you just involved in the business aspect of it?

Charlie – I would say yes, I practice, mindfulness. I had my own experience, before starting this job. I might even call it my own awakening. It caused a deepening of my own, consciousness, and awareness.

There have been thousands of research studies around the benefits of, consciousness, and, mindfulness. That research is ongoing, it’s all about, mindfulness for stress reduction, mindfulness for depression or anxiety. Mindfulness, has been studied around the world by leading institutions, and that is when it got to a point where we thought there was enough validation, that’s really when entrepreneurs started to ask the question. How can we take this, mindfulness, and conscious awareness and create a company out of it, and help bring it to more people in the world?

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Podbean

Myrna – Consciousness, and, mindfulness, are experiencing a Global Movement. I was listening to, Sadhguru, on the School of Greatness Podcast and he was discussing his book Inner Engineering. So I went out and purchased, Sadhguru’s, book Inner Engineering and this morning on my morning walk, I started listening to this book. Just the first chapter of Inner Engineering, blew me away. Sadhguru, talked about how he would go into a trance like state with his eyes open and sit there for hours. How he could feel his digestion! It was amazing.

Charlie why do you believe there’s a global movement towards, consciousness, and, spirituality? We talked about the benefits of, mindfulness, do you think that the East is coming to the West?

Charlie – First of all, I just want to say I love, Sadhguru. I owe him and I love the man very deeply. Secondly my own perspective, I don’t claim to be right on this; my own perspective is that there is such a level of stress and suffering in the world, that Eastern practices like Buddhism are filling a need. We have to reduce suffering, we have to reduce stress and anxiety, and, consciousness, and, mindfulness, are tools that are coming to help people in the United States and around the world. These, consciousness, tools help people to get more in touch with themselves. To help them to connect more deeply to themselves and hopefully help them live happier, healthier and more authentic lives.

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Myrna – That’s was the first part of, Sadhguru’s, book. How to find joy. Sadhguru, made the comment that in the olden days, people were stressed because they were hungry and it was all about survival; but once your belly is full, you should be happy because, that’s usually the survival part of life. Sadhguru, went on to say that now that our bellies are full and we are the most privileged people in history, we are more unhappy and stressed than our ancestors!

Charlie – That’s where programs about stress reduction and, mindfulness, come into play. It’s a great endeavor to fund more of these companies, so that a lot more people can have access to these tools. They won’t have to go to India, which is where the majority of these teachings originates, they can access these companies in the United States and that is where your company comes in.

Strategy for Funding Consciousness

Myrna – So, let’s talk about what your strategy is to invest in companies by helping them allow people to go deeper into, consciousness, and mental awareness. Tell us about your company and how you help investors.

Charlie – When we make an investment, we try to add value to those investments in several different ways, The first way is through what I would call counsel. My partners and business leaders, who have led in many different industries, have start-up experience or have invested in many companies; so they have the wisdom to provide the entrepreneur with help that entrepreneur be more successful.

The second thing we do is because we are so connected in the space, we’re the only investors that are solely focused on the, consciousness, and, mindfulness, space; so we know many of the world’s leading spiritual teachers. We also know many of the world’s scientists, we are also connected into the healthcare system. We’re connected to other entrepreneurs and investors, so we add connections that help make introductions that help the entrepreneurs in several different ways.

Thirdly, we’ve developed a really good reputation for being investors that not only care about making money; but we care about making an impact in the world. So, if we invest in someone, it adds to their credibility.

Finally our purpose is to provide capital or cash that helps the entrepreneur to hire people, do marketing campaigns, build platforms etc. but that’s the least important to us.

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Myrna – Well that’s great! So, coaching, counseling, you introduce them to the leading scientists, spiritual leaders like, Sadhguru, and then you provide cash. Nice, so how does someone find you? Or how do you go about selecting the companies that you want to invest in?

Charlie – People tend to find us because we’re known in this space. Our website is BB collaborative and we tend to use as a funnel and our screening process.

Nine Steps to Funding a Consciousness Business

When somebody comes to me with a business idea, it’s normally because they’ve started their business.
They’ve got their first customers.
They’ve got revenue coming in the door and we provide the growth capital. That’s what I look for.
Then we ask the question if our investors were to invest in this company, what is the impact that we can make on a global scale?
Next what’s the science behind the product? We try to do an assessment, if the science is good or where are the holes in the science.
We also look at the entrepreneur. do an assessment if the entrepreneur themselves is conscious, if the entrepreneur is vulnerable and is willing to do their own personal work, is willing to let go of ego.
Are they skilled at running a business and being able to grow that business.
Is the product differentiated? Is there a need for it?
Lastly we look at if we invest in this product, How much potential money can we make from it? How can the company be sustainable? Can it provide returns on our capital? How much of a return can shareholder expect?

Myrna – I like what you said about wanting to know the science behind a project. Can you give me an example of one of your investments that would maybe fit this model?

Companies using Science to promote Global, Consciousness

Charlie – I’ll give you a few different examples. I’m on the board of Muse Guided Meditations. I am passionate about that company. We’ve been investors for seven years. A lot of people have heard of a company called Headspace. We were one of the early investors in Headspace. The company has done a great job of rebranding meditation and making it accessible to the modern world actually. Sadhguru, is on the platform.

It’s a global community of 7,000 spiritual teachers, musicians, scientists that meet on a platform community of sixteen million. About five hundred thousand people use it every day. What I like about this platform is that it’s all free. It’s free content. There are forty five thousand meditations that are available for free. You could subscribe if you want special features; but you never have to pay for the service and you can connect with the world’s leading spiritual teachers and find content that suits either your spiritual tradition or the specific teacher that you want. It’s a very diverse group of teachers, 44 teachers are teaching in 44 different language and it’s global.

I’ll just mention you know another company called ‘Happify’ which is kind of a behavioral health platform for, mindfulness, positive psychology, and cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s an app and they kind of gamified the experience. They’re actually going through the FDA process to become a digital therapeutic program; so that it can be prescribed by doctors and reimbursed by insurance companies. They are hoping to be able to treat actual conditions without taking as many drugs.

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Myrna – So that’s so that’s beautiful! I’m definitely going to try Headspace. I’m thinking that it’s almost the same thing as Muse. No?

Charlie – Muse is a hardware device where you could see your brainwaves. It allows you to basically see whether you’re in a calm or focused state. It connects to your phone. Headspace is more just like a meditation app, it doesn’t have a hardware component to it.

Myrna – As we wrap up the interview I’m curious to hear about how you started a non-profit in the slums or poverty-stricken areas of Nairobi Kenya that has served three to five million patients so far. Can you tell us about that? Is that also part of the Global, consciousness, and, spirituality, movement?

Charlie – So, in 1986 I’d gotten out of college, I was traveling around the world. I was kind of working weird jobs and in remote places and the last place that I landed was in Nairobi, where I worked as a social worker for like three months. I learned that I didn’t like Social Work at all. I wasn’t good at it, and yet I became passionate about the continent of Africa. I wanted to do something to help create change, I knew it wasn’t going to be through social work but, you know the best way I could think of to try to help people was to start a business. I had a co-founder, a Kenyan who I co-founded the organization with and one other guy that I went to college with, and we started this organization called Provide international. It started as a child feeding program then we started a business loan program for women entrepreneurs, not necessarily in the, consciousness, or, mindfulness, space.

Then we discovered that what the community was asking for was a health care organization; so we started a health care organization.

They had the first maternity wards in any poverty-stricken areas of Africa that I know about, we had the first ambulance.
We had one of only two ambulances in the entire country of Kenya.
They had the first eye doctors and dentists in those areas. After 9 years, I decided to turn it over to the Kenyan, so they could run it themselves not have Americans overseeing them.

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I went back you 30 years later for the anniversary and they had seven centers, they treated millions of patients. They’d been very successful at helping to bring health care into the communities. I was proud of what they had accomplished.

Myrna – How can people find you to request funding?

Charlie – People can find me at you know on LinkedIn at Charlie Hartwell. I have a medium blog and I write articles on, mindfulness, and, consciousness.

Myrna – All right so, I don’t have anything more. I just wanted to thank you for coming on the show and expanding our, consciousness, on how we can possibly build our inner engineering with, mindfulness, and have a global impact in the world. We start by changing ourselves first so, once we change ourselves or we change internally, then we can contribute to the global movement towards spirituality.

I want to invite you guys all to join my private Facebook group called ‘Life Coach’ and to remember to subscribe to the Transform your Mind Radio and Podcast, on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts. You can now also watch the interview live on the Transform Your Mind YouTube channel. Would love for you to subscribe.

Additional Resources

Seven Ways Spirituality Helps Fulfillment of Dreams

Life Leadership & Success

blog, healthy relationships, Life Coaching, living with courage, podcast, racism

Does Love have a Color: The Interracial Marriage Experience

July 14, 2020 Myrna Morris Young

Not until after we got married Kevin confided and shared with me a few situations where family members questioned his choices and wanted to ensure he understood the challenges that come with an, interracial marriage. Ericka Augutis

I want to invite you guys all to the table. We are going to be talking on the topic the, “The Color of love, interracial marriages, in America” my guest today is Erica Augustus.

Listen to the interview

Interracial Marriage in America

Ericka and I became friends when we worked at Office Depot for about 10 years, and we have maintained our friendship. I decided that I wanted to get into the conversation on, interracial marriages, in America because of what’s been happening in the world and specifically in the last month or so.

It’s a very difficult place for a, black woman, married to a, white man. I think it’s even a little bit more complicated when your partner or your spouse cannot understand a lot of the times your, black experience. I was listening to a podcast a few weeks ago and this, black woman, was talking about her experience.

She was married for 13 years to a, white man, the marriage dissolved not because of racial differences or any kind of racial problems, but she said it contributed to it, because her husband never really got into the conversation. If she would come home and say she was discriminated against at the office, he didn’t have a response or didn’t talk about it and then the host asked her the question.

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Interracial Marriage black man white woman

Can a, white man, love a, black woman, and still be a racist?

And her response was, “love has nothing to do with it”, now that piqued my interest and that’s the predominant reason that I wanted to get into this conversation, and have you guys all join in the conversation and discuss, the color of love.

Interracial Marriage Interview Highlights

1. How did you and your husband meet?
2. How Ericka and Kevin handled the stares from Black and White people in their, interracial marriage, when they walked down the street.
3. What are her thoughts on Systemic racism, did her husband understand her experience as a, Black woman.
4. Love has no color. How easy is it to love someone from a different race?
5. How does she and her husband talk to her black sons regarding the police.

My name is Ericka Augutis, my husband Kevin and I have been married for 18 years 19 in November. We do have two children. One is 14 and the other is 4.

We met about 22 years ago. He worked at a local Blockbuster in my neighborhood. He was a manager and anytime I would go into the store to look at videos, he would offer to help me. Well that’s when our relationship started. Finally we went on our first date and I have to say it was really awkward for both of us and I thought okay I’m never doing that again. He was super quiet there was very little conversation. A few months went by and he called again, and asked for a second date and I was going to say no, but my mom chimed in and asked me to give him another chance. I’m so glad I did that second date because we just had the best time.

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We dated to my dismay for nearly five years, we were engaged twice. The first proposal I accepted I was elated. I was excited to say yes; but a few months later we went to a party with some of our friends and I realized some of the ladies didn’t even know I was engaged. Here I was super excited and some of his circle of friends didn’t know that were engaged. So, it really hit me hard. I felt like okay I’m really pressuring him into this, interracial marriage. So I called off the engagement.

After that we kind of went our separate ways for a few months and then we slowly started dating again. And I have to say both of us matured during that time of separation and he proposed a second time in restaurant. He got down on one knee in front of all these people and proposed me a second time. This time he was ready! We got married like a year later.

Myrna Young Did you think that he maybe didn’t want to tell his friends he was engaged because you were a, black woman?

Ericka Augutis No, I don’t think the fact that we were contemplating an, interracial marriage, had anything to do with it, or the, color of love, because I was in his circle of friends for four years. We all vacationed together so it wasn’t that. I just felt like he wasn’t ready and I was forcing him to get married.

Myrna Young I’m going to ask you not a question as a follow-up to that. So all the time you guys dated, five years or so, you got engaged twice you didn’t see color? The question today is there a, color of love? Did any of your friends treated you differently? Or said Ericka he’s white? None of his friends says hey Kevin why do you want to marry a, black woman? Nothing?

Ericka Augutis Not until after we got married Kevin confided and shared with me a few situations where family, maybe one or two family members, questioned his choices and wanted to ensure he understood the challenges to come with an, interracial marriage.

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So yes, from my perspective it came later as well, being a successful, black woman, my parents and other family members wanted to know why I was dating someone that doesn’t look like me. I really had to kind of ask myself that question as well. I realized it’s not as if I said to myself, I’m going to find a Caucasian man and have this, interracial marriage. I fell in love with a white man.

Myrna Young Yea Love is color blind actually, Love is an Emotion, it’s a feeling and it doesn’t see color!

Ericka Augutis There were experiences and times where we had to deal with the looks and the stairs especially when we would go into places where everyone was a little older. I would say during that time anyone that was over age of 65 would give us those looks on both sides. It’s not just the Caucasian folks, black folks as well.

Myrna Young Did you let the stares and looks bother you?

Ericka Augutis No, Kevin was always so confident and strong and it made me just feel like I had nothing to worry about. But there was this time just after we had our son Kevin Jr, we were having dinner in this fancy restaurant and this gentleman, I probably shouldn’t call him a gentleman. A white man, came over to our table and he said to Kevin, Is this your son? My husband says yes, he says well I’m going to tell you I’m a doctor that’s not your son!

You got to be kidding me!

I am not kidding. it was such a strange experience. I mean he just came over and I think his goal was just to disturb our night and really rock and test the foundations of our, interracial marriage. That was one experience that I’ll never forget.

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Myrna Young Okay but in your marriage of itself was there any kind of friction at all regarding race? Was all the friction from outside people looking in and trying to disturb your harmony? For instance as a, black woman, is it hard to go and talk to a partner that is outside your race about racism that’s been happening to you? Because, it’s not their experience and they can’t understand it how a, black women, survive in the workplace for instance? As a, black woman, I have not been discriminated against a lot and especially growing up in Canada; but I know that if I was talking to a, black man, who had a white spouse, it would have been a totally different conversation. Because as a, black man, he would have been harassed by the police, he would have been discriminated at work, he would have experienced racism throughout his life. Racism that his white spouse would not be able to understand or identify.

So, did any of those situations happen in your marriage where your husband couldn’t understand your black experience?

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Ericka Augutis I would say initially when we’re in the newlywed stage, there were a few situations, super minor things, nothing hardcore or anything like that; but I could tell there was an inequality in the situation. When I talked about it, he would always ask me why I was so passionate? That was his word or way of saying, why are you so angry? It took me about three or four times of him saying that or using that phrase for me to get that he’s trying to ask me to express myself and make him understand. Why was something so small making you angry? So, once I understood what he was truly trying to say and ask me, we had a tough conversation on racism.

I explained to him the history black people and the challenges I’ve experienced throughout my career being a, black woman. I think in his career not everyone knows he’s married to a, black woman; so he would hear things people would say that were borderline racist and he would tell me he got it.

Myrna Young Not only did your husband not understand your black experience but as a, black woman, I didn’t understand my husband’s black experience either. My husband was a police officer and what upset him more than anything else was that he was going out there every night putting his life on the line and yet the white officers were racial against him. Not just my husband; but they were racist against all the black officers in the department. There was no equality even when they could die together. My husband would say we bleed the same blood, when we’re out there on the street and I am treated differently. I didn’t understand until recently when I understood the definition of a racist and the definition of racist policies. I had to go back to him and apologize for not understanding.

That’s basically what I would I wanted to you know. To find out from you how is the cohesiveness in an, interracial marriage, when one person has white privilege and the other person has to claw their way for everything?

So, the other question I have on here is and I think you mentioned it, people staring at you and I think you said that you felt protected because Kevin was so strong and you weren’t scared; but did it bother you psychologically?

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Ericka Augutis We’ve been married for so long, I would say it bothered me until we had our son. A small portion of me would wonder is it worth it? Is it worth it, why can’t we just go out to dinner and just have a nice dinner without any stares, comments or judgment? So I would say, yes it does bother you, it does affect you. You just have to find a way to deal with it and ensure that your relationship is solid enough where it’s worth it.

How does Interracial Marriage affect children?

Myrna Young How does your 14-year-old son, he’s old enough to understand what’ going on right now in the world, how does he relate to having a white dad?

Ericka Augutis Oh, that’s a good question so, he’s actually okay with it. He was in Boy Scouts from the age of I think five or six until 12 years old and I remember we were on a camping trip he may have been 7 or 8 at the time and he came into our tent and I could tell something was wrong. His face was a little flushed, so I said to him what’s wrong he said this kid asked him why is your dad white and your mom black?

I said, what did you say? He says I said because they love each other! So I think he’s okay with what’s going on right now. I did not know how to quite handle it when a child asked him like where is he from? If he was Spanish? I think that’s he’s at that stage where he’s getting that question and has to figure out how he’s going to handle it and answer it.

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Is there a Color to Love? The Answer is NO.

Myrna Young It sounds like your, interracial marriage, is healthy. You guys don’t see color. Your, color of love, is blended. You love your kids, you show them love you don’t show them a difference and that’s definitely the way to go about it. So your, interracial marriage, experience has been a good one. As a, black woman, marrying outside of your race you still go through get the same racism and racist policies that our, black men, go through on a lesser scale.

That’s basically what I wanted to have a conversation so that we can shed a light on, interracial marriages. I mean we’re looking at black and white but, interracial marriage, can also be Spanish and black or even religion Muslim and Christian or anything that makes you different. It causes some controversy or cause some friction.

Ericka Augutis I don’t want the podcast listeners thinking I am making, interracial marriage, sound like it’s just perfect. Absolutely not, there are challenges don’t get me wrong. When we get invited to parties and there’s only a sprinkle of brown and black people in room, you have to figure out how to navigate. Do you want to be like over-the-top polished or just be yourself. When our families get together we both have to play roles. Every day you encounter racism. If you’re dealing with the public or you go in a public space you’re dealing with those types of situations where people are looking people are asking questions so it’s a conversation that you have more often than not. When you’re in a relationship like this, it’s something that you have to deal with if you want it to work out.

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Myrna Young I thank you for coming on and having a seat at this table I appreciate it. I hope our readers and listeners learned a few things one, interracial marriages, can work. They can be successful, you just have to have love and talk about it.

I want to remind you that if you like this content, please share with your friends, subscribe on iTunes rate and leave a review.

Additional Resources and mentions

Paradigm Shifts that can Heal Racism in America

https://myhelps.us/find-your-soulmate-science-of-attraction/

https://voxeu.org/article/incarceration-unemployment-and-black-white-marriage-gap-us

Myrna Young Life Coach

Monthly Archives: July 2020

How to become Limitless: Emotional Intelligence Leadership

Introduction to becoming Limitless with, Emotional Intelligence Self Awareness

The Four Components to becoming, Limitless

How can, emotional intelligence leadership, help someone with emotions that they’ve stuffed down?

How do you go from limited to, limitless with, Emotional Intelligence Leadership

Funding Global Consciousness and Mental Awareness

Strategy for Funding Consciousness

Nine Steps to Funding a Consciousness Business

Companies using Science to promote Global, Consciousness

Does Love have a Color: The Interracial Marriage Experience

Interracial Marriage in America

Interracial Marriage Interview Highlights

How does Interracial Marriage affect children?

Is there a Color to Love? The Answer is NO.

Transform your Mind Podcast