Water is a powerful force of nature that can teach us valuable lessons about life. Just like a river flowing through its banks, we too encounter obstacles and challenges along our journey. By mastering the art of fluidity, we can learn to navigate these obstacles with grace, ease, determination, and humility. In this article, we will explore the wisdom of water and discover six ways to flow like water in our own lives.
Embrace change: Water does not resist obstacles; it finds a way around them. Similarly, embracing change is crucial for personal growth. Learn to adapt to new circumstances, challenges, and opportunities with a flexible and open mindset.
Cultivate resilience: Water does not break; it bends. Developing resilience is key to navigating life’s ups and downs. Like water, bounce back from setbacks and view challenges as opportunities to strengthen your resilience.
Find your path: Water finds its path. Rivers don’t flow in a straight line; they meander and adapt to the landscape. In life, discover your unique path and be open to exploration. Allow yourself the freedom to evolve and pursue your passions.
Embrace Change like Water
Water is a master at adapting to change. It does not resist obstacles; instead, it finds a way around them. Similarly, embracing change is crucial for personal growth. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and the ability to adapt to new circumstances, challenges, and opportunities is essential.
As Coach Myrna Young explains, “Embracing change is crucial for personal growth. Learn to adapt to new circumstances, challenges, and opportunities with a flexible and open mindset.” When we resist change, we limit our potential for growth and development. By embracing change, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and experiences.
Cultivate Resilience
Water does not break; it bends. It is a powerful force that can withstand tremendous pressure. Similarly, developing resilience is key to navigating life’s ups and downs. Just like water, we can bounce back from setbacks and view challenges as opportunities to strengthen our resilience.
Coach Myrna Young emphasizes the importance of cultivating resilience, stating, “Developing resilience is key to navigating life’s ups and downs. Like water, bounce back from setbacks and view challenges as opportunities to strengthen your resilience.” Resilience allows us to bounce back from adversity and continue moving forward. It enables us to face challenges head-on and overcome them with determination and perseverance.
Find Your Path
Water finds its path. Rivers don’t flow in a straight line; they meander and adapt to the landscape. In life, it is essential to discover our unique path and be open to exploration. We must allow ourselves the freedom to evolve and pursue our passions.
Coach Myrna Young encourages us to find our path, stating, “In life, discover your unique path and be open to exploration. Allow yourself the freedom to evolve and pursue your passions.” Just like water, we must adapt to the circumstances and flow with the current. By finding our path and staying true to ourselves, we can navigate life’s challenges with authenticity and purpose.
Stay Present
Water is fully present in the moment, whether it’s flowing gently or crashing with force. It teaches us the importance of mindfulness and staying present in our own lives. By practicing mindfulness, we can respond thoughtfully to situations rather than react impulsively.
Coach Myrna Young highlights the significance of staying present, stating, “Practice mindfulness to stay present in your own life. This allows you to respond thoughtfully to situations rather than react impulsively.” When we are fully present, we can make conscious choices and act in alignment with our values and goals. It enables us to navigate life’s currents with clarity and intention.
Water Goes with the Flow
Water effortlessly moves with the current, adapting its course accordingly. It teaches us the importance of letting go of rigid plans and going with the flow. Going with the flow doesn’t mean being passive; it means being adaptable and responsive to the circumstances.
Coach Myrna Young shares a powerful visual, stating, “Imagine being in a rapid and paddling against the current. You’re not going anywhere. But if you sit back and let the river take you where it wants to go, it’s a much more pleasurable experience.” When we stop fighting against the current and go with the flow, we allow life to unfold naturally. We embrace the unknown and trust that everything is happening for our highest good.
Learn from Nature
Observing water in nature provides profound lessons. From the tranquility of a pond to the power of a waterfall, water exemplifies adaptability and fluidity. Spending time in nature allows us to draw inspiration and reflect on our own journey.
Coach Myrna Young encourages us to learn from nature, stating, “Observing water in nature provides some profound lessons. Spend time in nature to draw inspiration and reflect on your own journey.” Nature has a way of reminding us of our interconnectedness and the wisdom that can be found in the natural world. By immersing ourselves in nature, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the universe.
In Conclusion
Mastering the art of, flowing like water, is an ongoing process. Embrace change, cultivate resilience, find your path, stay present, go with the flow, and learn from nature. These are the steps towards living a more adaptable and fluid life. As we navigate the currents of life, let us remember the wisdom of water and strive to be flexible, resilient, and graceful in our journey.
So, the next time you sit by a lake or watch a river flowing, take a moment to reflect on the lessons water can teach us. Embrace the fluidity of life and allow yourself to flow with grace and ease. Remember, just like water, you have the power to adapt, overcome, and find your unique path.
Mindfulness Meditation, is not just for Buddhists and monks: mindfulness meditation unlocks the power you have within to take your business to the next level.
Mindfulness Meditation for your business
When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, spirituality, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self. As many successful entrepreneurs know, reduced stress is the foundation to creating the business and lifestyle you want. If you are not removing your limiting beliefs and constantly working on your vision, you are limiting your own growth and the growth of your company. You are the lid!
As a leader or an Entrepreneur there is no better way to overcome obstacles, rise to the top or be creative with out first quieting the noise in your head. When you become still you tap into your creative power by connecting to your source. During, meditation, you experience that peace that surpasses all understanding that the bible talks about.
When you forget about all the things you have to do and just focus on the life inside you by witnessing your breathing, you move closer to becoming conscious and understand your purpose. Being quiet and still allows you to listen to instructions from the higher power who guides you. It is said that it is easier to guide a horse in the direction it is running in; so when you fall into line with what God wants you to do for his Kingdom then your business and your life become less of a struggle.
Reasons Mindfulness Meditation works
The reasons we, meditate , are as varied as the many ways there are to meditate. In the West, most people are drawn to, meditation, to quiet the internal chatter of the brain and to reduce stress. Meditation, is indeed, a very effective stress reducer, but its benefits—sometimes mysteriously hidden—are far more bountiful. The actual act of, mindfulness meditation, can be as simple as sitting quietly and focusing on your breath while repeating silently a mantra—a word or phrase.
There are countless traditions and no singular “correct” way to practice, meditation. Find a practice that you like and stick with it for a while. Notice how you feel as you go about your days. If you find that you have more patience, feel grounded and better able to respond to stressful situations, and are more in touch with your intuition or “gut feelings,” you are enjoying the many benefits of meditation.
I, meditate, by finding a quiet place in the morning as I drink my coffee. I listen to a, guided meditation, tape on topics such as “activating consciousness”, visionary me meditation, “the law of attraction” etc. as I listen I clear my mind by mentally repeating a centering thought and witnessing my breathing.
At the end of my, mindfulness meditation, I am relaxed, totally open and creative. I usually write some deep insights after my, meditation, sessions and I get answers from God and the Universe to questions I ask. This is the perfect way to become a visionary and an innovative leader.
1: Mindfulness Meditation is good for our Physical Bodies
Scientists gathering data on, mindfulness meditation, have found that a consistent practice of meditation not only boosts the mind, but it also bolsters the body. Studies shows that, mindfulness meditation, can help reverse heart disease, reduce pain, and support the immune system, better enabling it to fight disease.
The mind-body connection between stress and disease is abundantly apparent as science is finding that meditation can lower production of the stress hormone cortisol. This means meditators are better able to adapt to stress in their lives.
2: Mindfulness Meditation is good for Our Relationships
Paradoxically, while, mindfulness meditation, helps us tune in and turn inward to our true essence, it also helps us detach from our own egos to connect with others in more meaningful ways. Couples counselors have found when they assign their clients meditation, the couples become less angry, more self-reflective, and more loving.
When we become aware of—and honor—our interconnection with other beings, we are able to recast our perspectives, see our worries in a different light, and embrace gratitude, which is the heart’s memory. The bible teaches that we can’t change others only ourselves and when we, meditate, we tune into who we really are.
Our ancestral legacy is a brain that is primed to focus on negative experiences and has a tendency to get stuck in conditioned patterns of thinking, returning again and again to thoughts of anxiety, depression, and limitation. So in our relationships we tend to focus on what we do not have instead of what we do have.
As you, meditate, on a regular basis, you develop what is known as “witnessing awareness”—the ability to calmly and objectively observe a situation, notice when you are being triggered, and consciously choose how you want to respond. The ability to be present and aware is extremely valuable in every relationship.
3: Meditation helps prolong our lives
When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self. Yogis and doctors both agree: meditating—even just a few minutes of deep breathing—relaxes the brain, reduces anxiety, and decreases depression. We say we can’t afford the time to meditate, but the truth is we can’t afford not to.
When we tell ourselves we don’t have time to exercise, or meditate, then we will make time for sickness and depression. During most of our waking lives, our minds are engaged in a continuous internal dialogue in which the meaning and emotional associations of one thought triggers the next.
We hear a snippet of music and suddenly we’re thinking about the first time we heard that song with an old boyfriend or girlfriend and how that relationship ended. If we’re still holding emotional pain over that ending, those feelings may bubble up and then our mind may veer into criticism, self-pity, or worries about the future.
Meditation, is one of the best tools we have to counter the brain’s negativity bias, release accumulated stress, foster positive experiences and intentions, and enjoy the peace of present moment awareness. A large body of research has established that having a regular, meditation, practice produces tangible benefits for mental and physical health, including:
Benefits of Meditation
Decreased blood pressure and hypertension
Lowered cholesterol levels
Reduced production of “stress hormones,” including cortisol and adrenaline
More efficient oxygen use by the body
Increased production of the anti-aging hormone DHEA
Improved immune function
Decreased anxiety, and insomnia
4: Mindfulness Meditation Reduces Stress and Burnout
What role is more stressful than the role of a Leader? None, as a Leader you are responsible for the lives of your employees, families, and your commitment to your community? Chronic, unmanaged stress can make you sick and accelerate aging. As many scientific studies have found, prolonged stress can contribute to high blood pressure, heart disease, stomach ulcers, autoimmune diseases, anxiety, cancer, insomnia, chronic fatigue, obesity, depression, and accelerated aging.
In, mindfulness meditation, your body releases stress and reverses the effects of the flight-or-fight response—that ancient instinct we all have to either run from perceived danger or take it on in battle. Intended as a short-term protection mechanism, fight or flight causes our body to speed up our heart rate, increase our blood sugar, suppress our immune system, reduce insulin production, pump out stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, and reduce the blood supply to our digestive organs.
All of these reactions happen so that our body can focus on either running away as fast as it can—or staying to fight. Although few people reading this face daily threats to their bodily existence, many live in a prolonged state of fight or flight, generating stress in response to bad traffic, criticism from a spouse, or a disagreement.
Regular, meditation, dissipates accumulated stress and cultivates a state of restful alertness. There are many compelling studies showing the power of meditation to relieve stress and promote inner calm. For example, a 2011 study published in the Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine Journal found that full-time workers who spent a few hours each week practicing mindfulness meditation reported a significant decrease in job stress, anxiety, and depressed mood.
The reason, meditation, is so popular amongst successful individuals is it helps release stress, lets go of excess thoughts and expand awareness. As you dive deeper into your, meditation, you see people, events and circumstances as they really are, not as they are perceived to be. It allows you to have an internal Locus of control.
That means that you don’t react to external stimuli but are proactive with action plans and goals. It also means that as challenges arise in your, business, you will not get overwhelmed; but face those challenges calmly and efficiently. As an Entrepreneur Leader, meditation, allows you to turn your failures into successes.
5: Meditation Enhances Your Concentration, Memory, and Ability to Learn
As researchers have found, meditation, can help you tap into your brain’s deepest potential to focus, learn, and adapt. While scientists used to believe that beyond a certain age, the brain couldn’t change or grow, we now know that the brain has a quality known as plasticity, enabling it to grow new neurons and transform throughout our lives.
Meditation, is a powerful tool for awakening new neural connections and even transforming regions of the brain. A recent study led by Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital found that after only eight weeks of, meditation, participants experienced beneficial growth in the brain areas associated with memory, learning, empathy, self-awareness, and stress regulation. In addition, the meditators reported decreased feelings of anxiety and greater feelings of calm. This study adds to the expanding body of research about the brain’s amazing plasticity and ability to change habitual stress patterns.
Many other studies provide evidence for the value of, meditation, in improving the ability to stay focused in world filled with increasing distractions and demands on our attention. For example, research conducted by the UCLA Mindful Awareness Center showed that teenagers and adults with ADHD who practiced various forms of meditation for just eight weeks improved their ability to concentrate on tasks, even when attempts were made to distract them. In the world of the Entrepreneur Leader, the ability to focus when you are pulled in so many different directions is extremely important to your success.
6: Meditation Improves Your Creativity and Problem-Solving Skills
We each have an estimated 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day—unfortunately, many of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday, last week, and last year. The mind tends to get stuck in repetitive thought loops that squeeze out the possibility for new ideas and inspiration.
Meditation, is a powerful practice for going beyond habitual, conditioned thought patterns into a state of expanded awareness. We connect to what is known as the field of infinite possibilities or pure potentiality, and we open to new insights, intuition, and ideas. And as we meditate and focus on our breathing, we stop this continuous cycle.
7: Meditation Decreases Anxiety, and Insomnia
The emotional effects of sitting quietly and going within are profound. The deep state of rest produced by, meditation, triggers the brain to release neurotransmitters, including dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. Each of these naturally occurring brain chemicals has been linked to different aspects of happiness:
Dopamine plays a key role in the brain’s ability to experience pleasure, feel rewarded, and maintain focus. Serotonin has a calming effect. It eases tension and helps us feel less stressed and more relaxed and focused. Low levels of this neurotransmitter have been linked to migraines, anxiety, bipolar disorder, apathy, feelings of worthlessness, fatigue, and insomnia.
Oxytocin (the same chemical whose levels rise during sexual arousal and breastfeeding), is a pleasure hormone. It creates feelings of calm, contentment, and security, while reducing fear and anxiety. Endorphins are most commonly known as the chemicals that create the exhilaration commonly labeled “the runner’s high.” These neurotransmitters play many roles related to well being, including decreasing feelings of pain and reducing the side effects of stress.
Just as, beautiful flowers, can emerge from compost, our minds have the power to transform negative emotions and thoughts into positivity. However, the first step towards this transformation is recognizing and acknowledging the, mental garbage, that exists within us. Depression, anger, jealousy, unforgiveness, and greed are all examples of this, mental garbage. When we hold onto these, negative emotions, they can strangle the vibrancy of our thoughts and hinder our, personal growth.
Coach Myrna emphasizes that we can recognize our, mental garbage, by how it makes us feel. Garbage is stinky and dirty, and when our minds are filled with negative thoughts and emotions, people respond to us in the same way they respond to garbage. Therefore, it is crucial to identify and acknowledge these, negative emotions, as the first step towards transformation.
Cultivating the Soil: Creating a Fertile Ground for Beautiful Flowers
Just as a gardener tends to the soil to nurture plant growth, we can cultivate our minds through mindfulness and self-reflection. By embracing practices such as meditation, mindfulness exercises, and journaling, we create a fertile ground for, beautiful flowers, to take root. This mental composting lays the foundation for, personal growth, resilience, and emotional well-being.
Coach Myrna compares cultivating the soil of our minds to giving it sunshine, water, and nutrients. We need to replace, negative thoughts, with positive ones, just as we replace weeds with, beautiful flowers, in a garden. Depression cannot flourish in the presence of gratitude, so by transforming our, negative thoughts, with positive ones, we create a fertile ground for positivity to grow.
The Alchemy of Forgiveness: Turning Weight into Flowers
Unforgiveness is a heavy burden that weighs us down and acts as dense material in the compost of our minds. However, through the alchemy of forgiveness, we can transform this weight into the flowers of compassion and liberation. Forgiving others and ourselves can be a catalyst for personal metamorphosis.
Coach Myrna uses the metaphor of alchemy, the transformation of lead into gold, to illustrate the power of forgiveness. Just as alchemy turns something undesirable into something valuable, forgiveness can turn the weight of unforgiveness into compassion and liberation. By letting go of grudges and resentments, we create space for, personal growth, and the blooming of our true selves.
Seeds of Gratitude: Nurturing the Garden of Positivity
Gratitude is like planting seeds in the fertile soil of our minds. By nurturing our minds with gratitude, we can create a garden flourishing with positivity. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude and appreciating the small joys of life can lead to a radiant landscape of resilience and joy.
Coach Myrna emphasizes the importance of being grateful for even the smallest things in life. From the breath we take, to the food we eat, there is always something to be grateful for. By planting seeds of gratitude, we overshadow the, mental garbage, and allow the, beautiful flowers, of positivity to bloom. Gratitude becomes the water that nourishes our garden, allowing it to flourish with joy and resilience.
Trimming Negativity: Creating Space for Self-Confidence and Contentment
Just as a skilled gardener prunes away unwanted branches and weeds, we can trim the negativity of jealousy, envy, and other negative thoughts. By consciously choosing to focus on our own growth rather than comparing ourselves to others, we make space for the, beautiful flowers, of self-confidence and contentment.
Coach Myrna encourages us to recognize these, negative emotions, and consciously choose to let them go. By pruning away these thoughts, we create space for self-confidence and contentment to flourish. Instead of being consumed by jealousy and envy, we can focus on our own, personal growth, and celebrate the successes of others.
The dance between the discarded and the beautiful, the transformation of, mental garbage, into, beautiful flowers, is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. By embracing the process of self-cultivation and tending to the garden within, we can witness the extraordinary growth that is possible. As we acknowledge and transform our, mental garbage, we create a landscape adorned with the colors of positivity, resilience, and enduring beauty.
In conclusion, our minds have the power to, transform negative emotions, and thoughts into something beautiful, just like nature transforms compost into, beautiful flowers. By recognizing and acknowledging our, mental garbage, cultivating the soil of our minds through mindfulness and self-reflection, embracing the alchemy of forgiveness, nurturing gratitude, and trimming negativity, we can create a garden flourishing with positivity, resilience, and joy. So let us tend to the garden within and watch as the once overlooked weeds metamorphose into vibrant blossoms of personal evolution.
Chapters:
0:00
Introduction to the topic of transforming mental garbage into flowers
1:02
Recognizing the negative emotions as mental garbage
2:17
Cultivating the soil of the mind through mindfulness and self-reflection
3:45
The alchemy of forgiveness and its transformative power
5:12
Planting the seeds of gratitude to nurture positivity
6:30
Trimming the weeds of jealousy and envy to focus on personal growth
8:00
Conclusion and embracing the process of self-cultivation
9:20
Encouragement to subscribe, leave a review, and thanks for tuning in
Millions of people suffer from at least one of the, compulsive behaviors, Compulsive shopping, Compulsive eating, Hoarding, Compulsive sexual behavior.
—often, even when the individual wishes they could stop—despite the fact that the act triggers negative outcomes, leads to interpersonal conflicts, or damages mental health.
Listen to full interview here:
Introduction to Compulsive Behaviors
Common activities that can develop into compulsions include, compulsive shopping, hoarding, eating, gambling, sex, and exercise. Though some behaviors are easier to over-indulge in than others, in reality, nearly any behavior has the potential of becoming a, compulsive behavior. Some people even talk compulsively, for instance.
There are also obsessive compulsive disorder, in which a compulsive person performs certain behaviors to relieve underlying anxiety or other negative emotions. A well-known example is a person who checks and rechecks everything—if the stove is turned off, for instance, or if the door is locked.
These behaviors rarely decrease anxiety in the long run; in most cases, they only provide temporary relief. In extreme cases, compulsive behaviors start to take over the person’s work, home, and social life, at the expense of normal activities.
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How are Compulsive Behaviors and addictions connected?
Compulsive behaviors, have a genetic effect and are often seen in identical twins. I know 17 year old identical twin girls who came into the foster care system at 4 years old and have had trauma. I attributed their, compulsive behaviors, to genes from their biological parents and environment from their early years in foster care. They started, compulsive behaviors, like stealing from about 5 years old, as they grew older that transformed into, compulsive shoplifting, then they started running away and couldn’t stop, now they are compulsively, hoarding.
Compulsion behaviors, often arise after stressful events, trauma, or abuse as we have seen in our study of addictions. When people engage in, compulsive behaviors, they become trapped in a pattern of repetitive actions or senseless thinking from which it can be difficult to break free.
Treatment is often key for overcoming, compulsive behaviors.
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How does normal behavior turn into, Compulsive Behaviors?
As far as the brain is concerned our rewards are reward important, so regardless of whether it comes from a chemical or an experience and you know that there’s a
reward and people who indulge in , compulsive behaviors, like gambling, eating, sex, and shopping, become trapped in the reward system of dopamine.
Types of Compulsive Behaviors
Compulsive behaviors, come in many forms, all of which can be quite debilitating or even dangerous.
Hoarding, for instance, are those who are unable to part with even the most worthless possessions. Many hoarders find the act of purging so distressful that they live under extremely crowded and potentially harmful conditions.
Compulsive shopping,
Compulsive eating
Over exercising
Hoarding
Compulsive cleaning
Compulsive Hoarding, is a psychiatric disorder which involves the accumulation of personal possessions to the point at which these accumulations interfere with your quality of life to a significant degree. The acquisition of “things” and failure to throw away unneeded objects can result in only mild symptoms of a cluttered home to a home which is too unsanitary for healthy living. At the current time, it’s thought that between two and six percent of the population is living with some degree of hoarding disorder.
Compulsively taking selfies and posting on social media
Compulsive sexual behavior or sexual addiction
What negative triggers enable Compulsive Behaviors like Hoarding.
The brain tricks us into thinking that we need the reward so we perform the, compulsive behavior, to re up the Dopamine
I know that as humans we move towards pleasure and away from pain. In my role as parent with kids who have, compulsive behaviors. These behaviors are cemented because they engage the reward centers of the brain.
How does one break that reward system for, Compulsive Behaviors?
Don’t wait until sexual temptation attacks you before you see it as a formidable force which seeks to destroy you. Its insidious tactic is designed to enslave you into sexual sins and keep you locked into erotic desires. How you perceive sexual temptation in your life, determines how well you will overcome its deceitful force, and walk in total victory.
“Naked and Ashamed, the Battle of Sexual Temptation.” is a Christian self-help book that explains what sexual temptation is, and gives you Biblical scriptures on how to control your sexual desires, and unnatural urges. With chapters such as recognizing the tempter, and rejecting the flesh, you will study strategies on how to recognize situations that tempts you, and learn how to keep your flesh under subjection. Although we will all be tempted sexually at some time, we can learn from this book on how to refrain from overreacting and falling into sexual bondage. So put on your seatbelt and get ready to be free from all of your unwanted sexual desires and temptations. Order “Naked and Ashamed, The Battle of Sexual Temptation” today! Written by Sheela Fields, now available on Amazon.
Sex Addiction Treatment
Let’s look at, compulsive sexual behavior, or sexual addiction. Sexual addiction, is represented by, compulsive behavior, in commonly available sexual practices, such as
Attending strip clubs,
Compulsive masturbation,
Paying for sex through prostitution,
Excessive use of pornography,
and repeated engagement in extramarital affairs.
Compulsive sexual behavior, otherwise known as sexual addiction, is an emerging psychiatric disorder that has significant medical and psychiatric consequences. Until recently, very little empirical data existed to explain the biological, psychological, and social risk factors that contribute to this condition. In addition, clinical issues, such as the natural course and best practices on treating sexual addictions, have not been formalized. Despite this absence, the number of patients and communities requesting assistance with this problem remains significant. This article will review the clinical features of compulsive sexual behavior and will summarize the current evidence for psychological and pharmacological treatment.
Dr Ahia What forms of, Sex Addiction Treatment, would you administer to someone suffering from, compulsive sexual addiction?
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How would you treat a youth that had the compulsion for taking selfies or even shoplifting?
Your Life Theme and, personalities, shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes and the, 16 personalities types, that can compose your identity.
Introduction
John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman. He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill. That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, 16 personalities types, controls our communication.
He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are. That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions. Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.
How to identify our 16 Personalities.
John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale. That is how you read people.
Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun. I want to appease the, personalities, so when I walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down. I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.
Our, personality, as our way of expression. Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization. The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.
Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.
True, but I look at what do you like to do for fun? What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?” I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are. I am able to identify one of your, 16 personalities types, from this test.
Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You
Your Life Theme offers the, personality, framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.
You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or “Life Themes.”
These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.
These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.
These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.
While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.
They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.
Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.
The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator
An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.
According to, Myers-Briggs, theory of, personality types, people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:
Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:
Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
The 16 personalities types
The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.
The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.
The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.
The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.
All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:
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The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:
The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
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As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.
What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.
All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:
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Author Traci Thomas offers, reflection on her abandonment by her mother in her book, Reflection 4 Rejection. Traci answers the question how does rejection by a natural mother affect the child’s self worth and self esteem for the rest of their life.
On, reflection, I feel that, rejection, by your natural mother, it’s such a unique, unusual, weird, inhumane space to be. It nonetheless served such a great purpose in my life, and what I mean by that is the following. It’s one of those preambles whereas once you have survived this type of, rejection, you pretty much can walk on water, and I mean that literally and figuratively. It’s one of those scenarios and situations very few people ever experience or understand. When you suffer from, abandonment, you’re in your own community and it’s isolating; but yet you’re so powerful at the same time.
With that being said once you overcome this, abandonment, and it is a challenge, it’s a lot to muddle through. However, once you get through it, and you’re on the other side, there’s nothing you can’t do. So in my situation, it’s like a head of bipartisan. I had two scenarios, two lives coexisting at one time. I had a father who had full custody of me at three years old. That’s when my natural, mother, and my dad were divorced back in 1968. I was born in 1965, that was unheard of within the United States. Very few fathers gained custody of their children or their child, so that in itself is a profound statement. That also shows you how little fight my natural, mother, put up to keep me.
I do remember one particular time my, mother, did quote, unquote kidnap me. She did take me when I got off the school bus when I was in kindergarten, and she took me to Philadelphia and thank God my father and the FBI came and rescued me. But even when she’s so-called put forth some effort, to show that she wanted me, it was still a situation where I was locked up in a room, there were German Shepherds downstairs and the FBI had to come and get me. She never really exemplified that she wanted me; but that’s okay and that’s what I explained in the book. It’s perfectly okay, because I define what, abandonment, is. It’s a supernatural definition. I actually give you, hind sights, definitions, elaborations and explanations as to what’s going on. What’s happening, why your natural, mother, abandoned, you. It took me 50 years to figure it out, which is sad, but at least I figured it out.
Wikipedia says that, abandonment issues, causes Abandoned child Syndrome.
Abandoned child syndrome is a proposed behavioral or psychological condition that results primarily from the loss of one or both parents or sexual abuse.
Abandonment issues, may stem from physical (the parent is not present in the child’s life) or emotional (the parent withholds affection, nurturing, or stimulation). The abandoned child syndrome is not recognized as a mental illness.
Mothers, who leave their children, or when a parent is alienated from their children by the other parent (after a bitter divorce, DCHS, or foster care), can cause psychological damage to the child. This damage is reversible, but only with appropriate assistance. Abandoned children may also often suffer physical damage from, rejection, malnutrition, starvation, and abuse.
I want to comment on something you said that’s a little different from my normal association with, abandonment, you said it took you about 50 years to get to the other side and it was very isolating; but once you got to the other side you felt like you could walk on water. Which is a very positive spin on, abandonment, because if you were to take a survey of the, child abandonment, community you will find that most kids end up having a lot of self-esteem issues, they don’t think they’re good enough.
When you feel, abandoned, it’s not your imagination. When you make every effort imaginable to connect or contact your natural mother and every single attempt, every single effort, every single expendable energy that you put forth, the end result is just this repellent. It’s this, rejection, of your natural, mother, not wanting you or your natural, mother, treating you as if you’re a bill collector. Your natural, mother, is literally tolerating you and can’t wait to get you off the phone. When you’re in a scenario like that again and again, it’s so bizarre.
On, reflection, once you’ve been in a situation where you’ve made every effort and did somersaults, headstands, back-flips, anything you can think of to connect with your natural mother, and every single attempt is unproductive and counterproductive. It’s toxic, and it’s unhealthy, because of the way that you feel afterwards. You literally feel as if you’ve been punched in the stomach with every single attempt to get the love of your, mother.
You’re in tears and you’re shaking, and you have anxiety, and then you go through life thinking that you’ve got to kiss every behind in the universe. You have this feeling of inadequacy this feeling of I’m not good enough, there’s something wrong with me. That’s why I wrote the book, because I do not want another human being going through five decades of what I went through. That’s why I engineered and composed the book.
My objective in writing the book, is for someone to have an open mind and instead of going through life telling themselves, my own, mother, didn’t want me. Even though that is true, instead they can tell themselves that they have every right and privilege to not want her either.
Power is something you take, nobody gives you power. You snatch power.
So what I wish to do with this work, with this writing, is to allow an individual to look at being, abandoned, in hindsight. Let’s really look at it and put an autopsy and microscope on, abandonment, for a second. If you really do this it’s not hard at all, you won’t have to go through all these dog and pony shows and tail spins. Kissing this one’s tail, and doing back flips for this person, and making your, mother, love you, trying to buy this person, begging for love, please love me, please like me. You don’t have to go through all of those mental gymnastics. It’s not necessary. I’m trying to save somebody 50 years.
Abandonment, from Relationships
Can this scenario be also transferred to people who are, rejected, period? I mean because, rejection, and being, abandoned, are not only synonymous with, mothers, or parents. Men can reject you, your friends can reject you, jobs can fire you. Is this information transferable?
I placed a laser focus on this particular relationship between a child and a natural, mother. This ironically is not, rejection, and if you read the book you’ll totally comprehend what I’m speaking about. The natural, mother, is not rejecting you, the natural, mother, is rejecting the reminder of neglecting you. The natural, mother, doesn’t even know you. How can somebody reject you when they don’t even know you? That makes absolutely no sense.
I’ve seen that the trauma that it is caused in young lives and almost every aspect of being , abandoned, or, rejection. So it’s kind of good to tell yourself that your natural, mother, didn’t reject you because she doesn’t know you. If you actually do believe that I can understand that it is easier to get to the other side. That’s good, I like that spin.
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What is the main message of your book Reflection for Rejection?
I wrote the book to give some insight to, child abandonment.
What message would you give to that listener of why they should go out and buy the book?
It would be in their best interest even if they don’t get the book, if they just listened to the podcast, because it summarizes the book. It’s their prerogative if they wish to purchase it or not. I mean that’s their choice; but with that being said.
Don’t ever allow another person, place or thing to define your self-worth. Don’t do that. Don’t ever give someone that opportunity or luxury.
I know you talked about your natural mother not really rejecting you because she didn’t know you; but did you touch on psychologically what was happening to her for her to have that unnatural response to her biological daughter?
My father, God bless his soul, was extremely intimidating. He was a very wealthy, powerful, articulate, worldly man. He traveled a lot because he was a computer programmer, so he was extremely I guess very controlling. So I give my, mother, an inkling of understanding, because he was pretty much a womanizer.
I’m not giving her a full 24-hour pass, but I am giving her an hour pass. I can’t really give her a full 24-hour pass, because there are, mothers, who have gone through the same episode and they didn’t react that way.
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One of the things that I noticed talking with you Traci is that I see no evidence of PTSD from being, abandoned, by your, mother. Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls, usually develops for girls who have been sexually abused, neglected, or abandoned. You said that every time you tried it to communicate with your mom, or tried to make her love you, or tried to form a relationship; you felt like you got punched in the stomach. At those times were you ever angry?
What’s so interesting is that I got angry at the end. Like right in the last year. My book goes in chronological order. In the book, I actually highlight the events that have occurred during the last five decades, and what’s so flabbergasting to me is that I didn’t get angry and livid until the very end. I wasn’t angry at her, I was angry at me for participating. I was so livid at myself for wasting so much time, that it took me decades to come down from the humiliation, the frustration, the hurt, the pain, the disappointment, the monotony, and the redundancy.
Getting to the other side, puts you in a disposition where you’re at total complete peace. I call it a, mother, transplant because once you realize why she acts the way she does, once that clicks in your brain, a light bulb goes off and you’re free.
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When you read the book you’ll completely understand what’s going on and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Your, mother, didn’t reject you, she can’t reject you because she doesn’t know you.
Yes, I understand what you’re saying. After you become immune to the, rejection, and you get on the other side of, abandonment, when you get to the other side, you feel empowered like you can walk on water. Nobody else has the capability of hurting you.
Childhood trauma and, abandonment, affects children in many ways.
Childhood trauma, #1
1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder,
spending or gambling, workaholics etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.
Childhood trauma, #2
2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and
yelling at each other? The typical is yelling screaming but
this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like
“you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.
Childhood trauma, #3
3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for
long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they
came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours. There’s anxiety around that.
So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our
kids there home alone.
Childhood trauma, #4
4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – The rape or Molestation could have happened
in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than
the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools
we’re supposed to teach our child another way. If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.
Childhood trauma, #5
5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma from, abandonment. Fault and No Fault, abandonment.
Here are three examples of no-fault, abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24
Here is an example of “Fault”, abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home
and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new
girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.
Childhood trauma, #6
6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to
live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even
includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t
want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was
always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.
Childhood trauma, #7
7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not
fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky.
Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.
8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a
medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time.
Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you
perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful
or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m
worthwhile too.
Childhood trauma, #9
9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved
a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years.
Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma.
Today we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass
Shootings.
10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities.
We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma.
Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they
act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or
the repercussions.
Two examples of sociopaths are Steve Jobs and Tiger woods.
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Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting, is a style characterized by a lack of responsiveness to a child’s needs. Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of their children and they are often indifferent, dismissive, or even completely neglectful.
Child abuse happens when a parent or care giver of a minor child allows, inflicts or permits physical or sexual abuse or allows a situation where there is a risk of physical injury. Child neglect means a minor child lacks adequate care and is danger of physical or psychological harm.
So how does it feel to be in a relationship with someone with, adult ADHD?
Here is one woman’s story af adult adhd
I dated 4 men with, adult ADHD, or ADD. One was predominantly hyperactive; two inattentive, one likely mixed. I fall under the vagueness of “mixed” myself, which means I show characteristics of hyperactivity — the impulsiveness, the occasional non-stop talk, the rash decisions — and inattention: the fuzziness, the daydreaming, the drifting off mid-conversation.
I learned the, ADHD, tricks early on like, touching him when I needed his attention and he was working. I learned to move my fingers from his face to mine — the universal signal for eye contact — when he began to drift off.
The two inattentive men, naturally tended toward household chaos, an inability to finish projects, and a desperate need for legal stimulants.
Understanding is the key to calming the chaos in the relationship.
I’m curious about, Adult ADHD symptoms. Does kids with, ADHD, become adults with, adult ADHD?
For clarity let’s make sure people understand the acronym for, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Individuals can have, attention deficit disorder, without the hyperactivity and that disorder is ADD. Things to keep in mind about, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or, Adult ADHD, is that, yes you can have, ADHD, in childhood and about 60% of kids grow up still having the same symptoms and become, adult ADHD. One of the interesting pieces about this is that it’s important for folks not to misconstrued information about what they’re seeing the adult exhibit. Certain characteristics of, Adult ADHD, can mimic other disorders like for example Thyroid disease.
Does the 40% of kids who don’t have, adult ADHD, become cured?
Not necessarily , they could have developed coping skills to manage the, ADHD, behavior so the symptoms were minimized. They could have also learned strategies on how to behave or how to compensate for the symptoms.
What are the different types of, Adult ADHD?
When you look at the diagnostic and statistical manual that psychologists use. It gives you clarity on how, Adult ADHD, is diagnosed. There are different types 3 types of symptoms that we see in, ADHD.
Inattention
Impulse Control
Hyperactivity
We have to go through the process and can’t have people diagnosing themselves or their children or anyone else with the disorder. Sometimes you have symptoms because people don’t have appropriate amounts of minerals in their body or they might be subject to low levels of magnesium. Things like that or people might have other diseases that might mimic, ADHD symptoms, so get these things ruled out with blood work.
ADHD in adults could mean you have an, ADHD, partner.
Here is what happening in their brain. What exactly is happening in the brain to cause someone to develop symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?
The Adult ADHD brain has impaired activity in four functional regions of the brain.
Frontal Cortex. This region controls high-level functions: …
Limbic System. This region is located deeper in the brain. …
Basal Ganglia. …
Reticular Activating System.
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To test for, adult ADHD, one has to look at the functions of the brain. The neurotransmitter in the brain is affected in ADHD. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for how we organize our cognitive flexibility and being able to control ourselves and things that come into our frame of reference.
The Basal Ganglia helps to regulate communication within the brain, sending signals from one neuron to the other and is responsible for our motor control movement. The Basal Ganglia is also responsible for regulating emotional volatility and the Reticular Activating System is our major relay system. It controls the many pathways that enter and leave the brain and is responsible for arousal and consciousness.
Dr Gray who is the author of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus wrote an article in which he claims that men with, Adult ADHD, have problems committing to women because of the disorder. Do you agree with that statement?
No, not at all. I think there are other reasons that men can’t commit to women. Dr Gray is trying to give these men a pass. I would love to see his research.
Does, ADHD, medications cure the disorder?
Medications for, ADHD, are non-stimulant and stimulant meds depending on what the individual the parents would choose. I always think of other Alternatives besides the use of pharmaceuticals. I would rather use in a non-medication treatment or neuro feedback to help with symptoms of, ADHD. Bio feedback can cure the disorder, medication just masks or controls but never cures.
if you give anyone who clearly has, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, medication for 6 months and the other Bio Feedback for 6 months, you will see the difference in the treatment results.
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One out of ten American children have been diagnosed with ADHD,
One out of seven American women over 55 will develop dementia,
Statistics reveal a greater risk of ADHD in children of divorced parents, particularly when boys are missing the regular influence of their fathers or their mothers are unable to find happiness
What is the, type of woman men fall for? Drawing from conversations with Relationship coach Andre Parades, Coach Myrna discusses the qualities that make a woman irresistible to men and how women can, become the, type of woman any man wants to marry.
Drawing inspiration from a conversation between Jesus and a, Samaritan woman, coach Myrna emphasizes the importance of intelligence, confidence, independence, communication, kindness, self-improvement, positivity, and a sense of humor in attracting a partner and building a meaningful relationship. By focusing on self-improvement and fostering genuine connections, women can create a solid foundation for love and marriage.
In John chapter 4 Jesus has a great conversation with a, Samaritan woman. Because Jesus is Omniscience, which means all-knowing, he is aware of the past, present, and future. He told her she had 5 husbands and living with a man who she is not married to.
Society judges’ women who have a lot of husbands. It carries an element of shame to it. So today I want to flip that around and look at, why a man wants to marry a woman.
First and foremost, what men want. Men are looking for, intelligent women. A woman who can talk on all topics and can have a stimulating conversation.
The Samaritan woman was such a woman. Jesus knew who she was before he sought her out to talk to her and on cue, she started the conversation by asking “So tell me, why is it that you Jews insist that Jerusalem is the only place of worship?”
After that she started taking about the Messiah. Jesus said I am the Messiah.
So, ladies the message today is, Are you, the type of woman a man falls in love with?
Here are some ways that you can prepare to shine when you are in the spotlight, when you too can tell your friends “I met a man”
So what type of woman is an alpha male attracted to? In the intricate dance of love and relationships, there’s no magic formula to make someone fall in love with you. However, there are certain qualities and behaviors that can enhance your attractiveness and create a solid foundation for a meaningful connection. Today, we will explore how you can become a woman any man wants to marry, the type of woman a man falls in love with, by focusing on self-improvement and fostering a genuine connection.
Cultivate Confidence: Embrace Your Inner Strengths
To become, the type of woman a man falls in love with, you must have self-confidence. Confidence is magnetic. Embrace your strengths, be comfortable with your flaws, by becoming flawesome and radiate self-assurance. “Confidence not only makes you attractive, but it also creates an environment where others feel comfortable and inspired around you.” When you exude confidence, you become a beacon of positivity and allure and, the type of woman a man falls in love with.
The type of woman men fall for: The Independent Woman
While partnership is essential in a marriage, maintaining individuality is equally crucial. As the transcript states, “A woman with a strong sense of self is not only attractive but also brings added depth to a relationship.” By pursuing your passions, having your own goals, and demonstrating a sense of independence, you become a well-rounded and captivating partner.
Prioritize Communication: The Key to Connection
Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. As the transcript suggests, “Being able to communicate honestly and respectfully fosters understanding and strengthens the emotional bond between you and your partner.” By learning to express your thoughts and feelings openly and actively listening, you create a safe space for vulnerability and intimacy to flourish.
Transform Your Mind Podnews
What men want: an Empathatic Woman
Kindness goes a long way in building lasting connections. Show empathy, be considerate, and prioritize compassion in your interactions. “A woman who exudes kindness not only attracts a partner but also contributes to the overall well-being of the relationship.” By nurturing kindness and compassion, you create a nurturing and loving environment that fosters a deep emotional connection.
Invest in Self-Improvement: The Journey of Personal Growth
Continuously strive to grow and better yourself. “Investing in yourself not only makes you more interesting but also demonstrates a commitment to personal growth that can be inspiring to others and make you attractive to men.” That is also the type of woman a player falls in love with. Whether it’s through education, personal development, or acquiring new skills, investing in yourself showcases your dedication to self-improvement and adds depth to your character.
The Power of Optimism: The type of woman a man falls in love with.
Maintain a positive attitude and approach challenges with optimism. As the transcript states, “Positivity is infectious and can create a harmonious atmosphere in your relationship.” By embracing a positive outlook, you become a source of inspiration and support for your partner. A woman who can navigate life’s ups and downs with grace is someone many men would aspire to have by their side and is, the type of woman a man falls in love with.
Cultivate a Sense of Humor: The Joy of Laughter
Laughter is a powerful bonding tool. Cultivate a sense of humor, find joy in the little things, and share lighthearted moments with your partner. As the transcript suggests, “A woman who can bring joy and laughter into a relationship is sure to be cherished.” By embracing humor, you create a joyful and light-hearted atmosphere that strengthens the emotional connection between you and your partner.
Becoming the Type of Woman Men Fall for
Becoming a woman any man wants to marry, involves a combination of self-discovery, personal growth, and fostering positive qualities. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to love, by embracing your authenticity and cultivating these traits, you can create a foundation for a fulfilling and lasting relationship. Remember, the journey to becoming irresistible is not about changing who you are, but rather about embracing your unique qualities and continuously striving to be the best version of yourself.
As you embark on this journey, keep in mind the words of Jesus in his conversation with the Samaritan woman. He saw her for who she truly was, and she engaged him in a stimulating conversation. By embodying intelligence, confidence, independence, effective communication, kindness, self-improvement, positivity, and a sense of humor, you can become the woman any man wants to marry.
So, ladies, prepare to shine when you are in the spotlight, and one day, you too can proudly tell your friends, “I met a man.” The power to unlock the qualities that make you irresistible lies within you. Embrace it, nurture it, and watch as love and happiness find their way into your life.
Conclusion and Future Outlook: Type of woman men fall for
The journey to, becoming the, type of woman men fall for, is not a destination but a continuous process of, personal growth and self-improvement. As you navigate the complexities of love and relationships, remember to stay true to yourself, embrace your uniqueness, and never stop learning and evolving. By embodying the qualities discussed in this guide, you will not only attract the right partner but also create a strong foundation for a lifelong connection filled with love, understanding, and mutual respect.
Unlock the qualities that make you irresistible, and embrace the journey of becoming, the woman any man wants to marry. Your future awaits, filled with endless possibilities for love and happiness.
In the pursuit of, personal growth, embracing the philosophy of CANI (Constant and Never-Ending Improvement) can be a transformative approach. CANI encourages a mindset of continuous learning and progress, fostering, personal development, in various aspects of life. Here’s a guide on how to develop a, personal growth mindset, using CANI in 2024:
Personal growth, is a lifelong journey that requires dedication, self-reflection, and a commitment to continuous improvement. In the year 2024, embracing the philosophy of CANI can provide a powerful framework for, personal development. CANI, which stands for, Constant and Never-Ending Improvement, encourages individuals to adopt a mindset of continuous learning and progress. By embracing CANI, we can unlock our full potential and achieve, personal growth, in various aspects of our lives.
In this article, we will explore eight key ways to develop a, personal growth mindset, using CANI in 2024. Each theme will be supported by verbatim quotes from a transcript that highlights the importance of these principles. By delving into these themes, we can gain a deeper understanding of how CANI can positively impact our, personal growth, journey.
“Cultivating a, personal growth mindset, that values continuous learning. Embrace challenges as opportunities to acquire new knowledge and skills. Attend workshops, read books, and stay curious about the world around you.”
A, personal growth mindset, is the foundation of, personal growth. By embracing a mindset that values continuous learning, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and opportunities for growth. Challenges become stepping stones for acquiring new knowledge and skills. Whether it’s attending workshops, reading books, or staying curious about the world, a learning mindset allows us to expand our horizons and unlock our full potential.
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2. Set Incremental Goals
“Break down your long-term objectives into smaller, achievable goals. This not only makes the journey more manageable but also provides a sense of accomplishment along the way.”
Setting incremental goals is a powerful strategy for, personal growth. By breaking down long-term objectives into smaller, achievable goals, we make the journey more manageable and less overwhelming. Each small win along the way provides a sense of accomplishment, fueling our motivation to keep pushing forward. Whether it’s running a marathon or pursuing a new career, setting incremental goals allows us to make progress and stay motivated.
3. Reflect Regularly
“Take time to reflect on your experiences, both successes, and challenges. Regular reflection allows you to gain insights into your strengths and areas for improvement. Consider journaling as a tool for self-reflection.”
Regular reflection is a vital practice for, personal growth. By taking the time to reflect on our experiences, both successes, and challenges, we gain valuable insights into our strengths and areas for improvement. Journaling can be a powerful tool for self-reflection, allowing us to delve deeper into our thoughts and emotions. Through reflection, we can identify patterns, learn from our experiences, and make informed decisions for our, personal growth, journey.
“Constructive feedback is a valuable source of information for personal growth. Actively seek feedback from mentors, peers, or friends. Use it as a guide to refine your skills and behaviors.”
Seeking feedback is essential for, personal growth. Constructive feedback from mentors, peers, or friends provides valuable insights into our strengths and areas for improvement. By actively seeking feedback, we can gain a deeper understanding of how others perceive us and use it as a guide to refine our skills and behaviors. Feedback serves as a catalyst for growth, helping us identify blind spots and make necessary adjustments to reach our full potential.
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5. Emphasize Consistency in your Personal Growth Journey
“Consistency is key to CANI. Establish habits that align with your personal development goals. Whether it’s dedicating time each day to learning or maintaining healthy habits, consistency builds momentum over time.”
Consistency is a fundamental principle of CANI. By establishing habits that align with our, personal development goals, which are also, SMART goals, we create a solid foundation for growth. Whether it’s dedicating time each day to learning or maintaining healthy habits, consistency builds momentum over time. It is through consistent effort that we can make significant progress and achieve a lasting, personal growth mindset.
6. Embrace Failure as a Personal Grwoth Opportunity
“View failures as stepping stones to success. Learn from setbacks, adjust your approach, and keep moving forward. Failure is not a roadblock but rather a detour on the path to improvement.”
Failure is an inevitable part of the, personal growth, journey. Instead of viewing failure as a roadblock, we should embrace it as a learning opportunity. By learning from setbacks, adjusting our approach, and persevering, we can turn failure into a stepping stone towards success. Failure provides valuable lessons and insights that help us refine our strategies and improve our chances of achieving our goals.
7. Surround Yourself with Growth-Minded Individuals
“Engage with people who inspire and challenge you and have a, personal growth mindset. Surrounding yourself with a supportive and growth-minded community can provide motivation, accountability, and fresh perspectives on, personal development.”
The people we surround ourselves with have a significant impact on our, personal growth. Engaging with individuals who inspire and challenge us can provide motivation, accountability, and fresh perspectives on, personal development. By surrounding ourselves with a supportive and growth-minded community, we create an environment that fosters, constant and never ending improvement. These individuals can serve as mentors, sounding boards, and sources of inspiration on our, personal growth, journey.
8. Stay Adaptable
“Life is dynamic, and, personal growth, requires adaptability. Be open to change, embrace new opportunities, and be willing to adjust your goals based on evolving circumstances.”
Adaptability is crucial for, personal growth, in an ever-changing world. Life is dynamic, and our goals and circumstances may evolve over time. To achieve a, personal growth mindset, we must be open to change, embrace new opportunities, and be willing to adjust our goals accordingly. By staying adaptable, we can navigate challenges, seize opportunities, and continue our journey of, constant and never-ending improvement.
Conclusion and Future Outlook
Embracing the philosophy of CANI in 2024 is not just a commitment to, personal development; it’s a lifestyle that fosters a continuous journey of improvement. By incorporating the eight key ways to grow personally using CANI, we can unlock our full potential and achieve sustained growth and fulfillment. Embracing a learning mindset, setting incremental goals, reflecting regularly, seeking feedback, emphasizing consistency, embracing failure, surrounding ourselves with growth-minded individuals, and staying adaptable are all essential components of the CANI philosophy.
As we look to the future, the impact of embracing, CANI in personal growth cannot be underestimated. By adopting a mindset of continuous learning and progress, we can navigate the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead. The principles of CANI provide a roadmap for, personal growth, in an ever-changing world. By committing to constant and never-ending improvement, we can unlock our full potential and create a life of fulfillment and success.
Here’s to a year of, constant and never-ending improvement, in 2024!
Daniel Mirfield discusses the importance of identifying and releasing, negative energy, in ourselves and others. He emphasizes the role of nature in healing and the need to connect with our intuition, stay grounded, and react from a place of peace and love. By recognizing and releasing negative energy, we can find, inner peace, and transform our lives.
Welcome back to the Transform Your Mind, Transform Your Life radio, podcast, and television show. I’m your host, Life coach Myrna Young. Today, we have a special guest, Daniel Mirfield, the author of “Seedling: The Journey to Inner Peace.” In this episode, we will be discussing how to identify the seeds of, negative energy, and release them. Negative energy, can have a profound impact on our lives, affecting our physical and, mental well-being. It is essential to learn how to recognize and release these negative energies to live a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
Daniel Mirfield is a renowned, energy healer, and mentor who channels the power of nature to help his clients heal and recover from stress. He is the author of “Seedling: The Journey to Inner Peace,” a book that combines ancient wisdom with modern times to help navigate and overcome challenging moments.
Understanding the source of negative energy
Daniel teaches that we can identify, negative energy, in ourselves and others and learn how to release it. He emphasizes the importance of understanding that the energies including, negative energy, we absorb are not just from our immediate surroundings but can also be inherited from past family members and traumatic experiences. By recognizing and addressing these, negative energies, we can break free from their control and live a life aligned with our true selves.
One of the key aspects of, releasing negative energy, is connecting with nature. Daniel channels the power of nature to help his clients heal and recover from stress. He believes that nature holds the answers to our healing and can help us navigate even the most challenging moments. By immersing ourselves in nature, we can ground ourselves, listen to our intuition, and find peace and love in the present moment.
To release, negative energy, Daniel suggests grounding ourselves and placing ourselves in a position of love. This can be done by walking barefoot, talking to trees, or simply being present in nature. By connecting with nature, we activate our feelings and senses, allowing us to release, negative energy, and embrace the healing power of the natural world.
In addition to connecting with nature, Daniel emphasizes the importance of meditation and self-reflection. He believes that meditation is a practice that can help us cultivate, inner peace, and connect with our, spiritual guides. By creating a space for self-reflection and meditation, we can clear our minds and open ourselves up to receive messages from our, spiritual guides. This practice allows us to tap into our, higher consciousness, and receive guidance and wisdom.
book seedling Journey to inner peace
The journey to inner peace
Daniel’s book, “Seedling: The Journey to Inner Peace,” is a practical guide to help readers identify and, release negative energy. It explores topics such as balancing energies, understanding triggers and addictions, and healing family DNA. The book is a channelled guide from Daniel’s, spiritual guides, and offers insights and wisdom to help readers on their own journey to, inner peace.
Here are 3 ways to balance your energy
Change food intake. Either increasing or decreasing food intake changes how much energy a person is taking in.
In conclusion, identifying and releasing, negative energy, is essential for our overall well-being and happiness. By connecting with nature, practicing meditation, and embracing self-reflection, we can, release negative energy, and, cultivate inner peace. Daniel’s book, “Seedling: The Journey to Inner Peace,” offers practical guidance and wisdom to help readers on their own path to healing and self-discovery. By embracing these practices and connecting with our true selves, we can live a life filled with love, harmony, and peace.
In a world where aspirations and motivations can vary significantly, it’s crucial to understand the distinction between being a “goal digger” and a “gold digger.” Both terms revolve around the pursuit of something valuable, but their intentions and paths diverge drastically.
In this blog, coach Myrna shares the difference between setting SMART goals with ambition, determination, and a desire to achieve your dreams with hard work and perseverance. Coach Myrna also explore the pitfalls of falling into the “gold digger” mindset – an approach driven by the pursuit of material wealth at the expense of genuine service and personal growth.
Do you chase money instead of goals? Being a, goal digger, means you are focusing on achieving your goals and pursuing your passions rather than solely chasing money. For example, do you want that job because you have a goal of being of service or you want that job because of the pay grade?
Take Life coaching for example, a lot of Life coaches can’t make a living doing this work but they love helping people so they willingly do the job.
Here are six tips to help you become a goal digger:
Define your goals: Take time to identify your long-term and short-term goals. What do you truly want to achieve in life? Having a clear vision will help you stay focused and motivated. It is also good to go deeper and have SMART goals.
These are SMART goals.
Specific: Spell out exactly what you want to accomplish
Begin by thinking about your goal as an observable action, not a broad concept. If your goal is vague, moving beyond this part of goal-setting is challenging. because it could be too generalized to measure or too wide-reaching to be attainable.
Measurable: Define the end result in quantitative or qualitative terms
How will you know when you have achieved your goal? Or how close you are to attaining it? Think about the outcomes and what can be measured. Knowing what success looks like will help you maintain the outcome of the goal, or set a baseline for future improvement.
Achievable: Confirm that your goal is possible and reasonable to accomplish
Do you have access to the skills and resources required to achieve your goal? What support or learning do you need to achieve it? Make sure you are set up to succeed when you establish your goal. This is a critical part of goal-setting.
Relevant: Make sure your goal is relevant for the future. AI is making a lot of jobs obsolete as computers did in the past. For example, writers are being phased out because AI can write a really good copy.
Time-bound: Identify an achievement date for your goal. Is it a long term or short-term goal? 6 months or 6 years? When does your goal need to be completed? A time-bound goal creates a sense of urgency. Even if the date identified isn’t the final deadline of the program or work, a time-bound goal helps to chart a course to completion.
Pursue your passions: Identify your interests and find ways to incorporate them into your goals. When you genuinely enjoy what you’re working towards, it becomes easier to stay committed and motivated.
Create a plan: Break down your goals into actionable steps. Develop a plan that outlines the specific tasks you need to complete to achieve each goal. This will help you stay organized and make progress.
Embrace learning and growth: Continuously seek opportunities to learn and develop new skills related to your goals. Invest in self-improvement, whether through books, courses, or mentorship. Constantly expanding your knowledge will enhance your ability to succeed.
Surround yourself with like-minded individuals: Connect with people who share similar goals or passions. Engaging with a supportive community can provide motivation, inspiration, and valuable insights.
Stay persistent and resilient: Achieving meaningful goals often requires perseverance. Be prepared for setbacks and challenges along the way. Learn from failures, adapt, and keep moving forward. Maintain a positive mindset and believe in your abilities.
Conclusion
Remember, while money can be a byproduct of achieving your goals, it should never be the sole focus. Stay true to your passions, work hard, and enjoy the journey of pursuing your dreams and being a, goal digger.
Love is a powerful and beautiful emotion that has the ability to uplift, inspire, and bring immense joy to our lives. But what happens, when love alone isn’t enough? Love forms the foundation of many relationships, providing strong bonds between partners, family members, and friends.
However, there are instances, when love alone isn’t enough. In this video, coach Myrna looks at the, Bible story of Hanna, and why the love of her husband was not enough. Coach Myrna, shares 5 realities of, when love isn’t enough, and how we can build resilience and understanding to overcome obstacles on the path to fulfilment.
Have you ever loved someone, but could not live with them so you broke up with them instead? That is an example of, when love alone isn’t enough.
Today I want to look at the bible story of Hanna and why the love of her husband was not enough.
Let’s look at 1st Samuel 1:8
Then said Elkanah her husband to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?
Hanna had all the love a woman could want from a man, but she was not happy because she could not have children. Her husband’s love was not enough to fill the hole in her heart.
For Hanna having a husband wasn’t enough, having a man who loved her, wasn’t enough.
Love can be a wonderful and important aspect of our lives, but it is not the sole determinant of our happiness. Happiness is a complex and multifaceted emotion that can be influenced by various factors. While love can contribute significantly to our well-being, there are other aspects to consider.
Self-fulfillment: True happiness often involves a sense of purpose and personal fulfillment. Pursuing your passions, setting and achieving goals, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and a sense of accomplishment can contribute to overall happiness. For Hanna and most women this includes being a mother.
Emotional well-being: Happiness goes beyond love and encompasses emotional well-being. It’s important to develop coping skills, self-care practices, and maintain healthy relationships beyond romantic love, such as with family and friends, to cultivate happiness.
Personal growth: Continuous personal growth and self-improvement can lead to a sense of fulfillment and happiness. This can include learning new skills, expanding your knowledge, and challenging yourself to become the best version of yourself. You can have all the love in the world but if you are not growing, you will feel unfulfilled.
Physical and mental health: Taking care of your physical and mental health is essential for overall happiness. Engaging in regular exercise, practicing self-care, managing stress, and seeking support when needed are all crucial aspects of well-being.
Meaningful connections: While romantic love is significant, nurturing relationships with friends, family, and a supportive community can provide a sense of belonging and happiness. Building and maintaining meaningful connections with others can be a source of joy and support.
I Just finished reading Paris Hilton memoir. In her book Paris shares her infertility journey. Like Hanna love was not enough, being a Hilton and an heiress was not enough, having a brand was not enough, like Hanna she wanted a child.
Remember that happiness is subjective, and what brings happiness to one person, may differ from another. Sometimes love of your family or spouse is enough, but most of the times you must love yourself first. It’s important to explore and cultivate various areas of your life beyond love to find fulfillment and happiness. Seeking a balance between different aspects of life, investing in personal growth, and fostering relationships can contribute to a more fulfilling and joyful existence.
Being in love or receiving love is not enough for self-actualization which include realizing your dreams, being true to yourself, and achieving inner peace.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna
When we talk about the, transformation, of the mind, it is not simply about changing or adjusting how you think, but renewing your sense of, self-consciousness. Transformation, of your mind, impacts your conscience, which is your sense of what is right and wrong. It impacts your heart, which in Hebrew literature is the center of your being.
Transformation, of your mind, runs much deeper than simply making confessions and changing how you think upon a thing. Apostle Paul teaches “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind”
Pastor William L Glover speaks on the biblical principles of what God meant when He said “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
Pastor Glover just completed a powerful series on, renewing the mind, it was a four part series, you can watch the full series on the Mount Hermon Ministries YouTube Channel. But today we’re going to pick some of the important pieces of that, renewing your mind, series to share with you.
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Dr. William L. Glover is the Senior Pastor of Mount Hermon Ministries. He also oversees the Dew of Hermon Early Learning Center and is Campus Director of Life Christian University at Mount Hermon Ministries. He has a strong mandate for Education, Missions, Leadership Development, Justice Ministry and reaching the lost for Christ.
Having ministered in nine different countries on 29 international trips, Dr. Glover is an anointed teacher, preacher, and international speaker. He has assembled ministry and medical teams that have seen thousands of souls saved and thousands more received desperately needed medical care. His passion is to reach the globe, but God has fashioned his heart in the shape of Africa.
Through Mount Hermon Ministries, he is very involved in reaching his community through educational empowerment. He is a founding board member of L.I.F.E (Lee Interfaith for Empowerment), a Network of Congregations committed to finding solutions to systemic justice issues in Lee County; is an Executive Board Member of Healthy Lee, a group of faith, business and health professions committed to inspiring healthy life styles, and chairs the Religious Affairs Committee of the local branch of the NAACP. Dr. Glover is also Co-Founder (with Pastor Cheryl Glover) of Redeeming Influence Community Outreach, a non-profit that serves blighted communities.
Dr. Glover has earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Bible and Theology from Southeastern University (formally Bible College), a Master of Arts degree in Religion from Florida State University, a Master of Education degree in counseling from Florida A & M University, and his Doctor of Ministry degree in Theology from Life Christian University.
Dr. Glover is also the author of the three books: Justice: God, Nations, and Systems, which examines the role of faith in addressing systemic justice issues which plague the systems of men; 30 Days of Excellence, a daily devotional that focuses on cultivating a culture of excellence in Faith, in Speech and in Life; and Ready for the Harvest, a study on how to release the principle of seedtime and harvest into your life.
Book: Ready for the Harvest Transform Your Mind Podcast
Dr. Glover is married to Pastor Cheryl Glover. Four wonderful adult children enhance their lives: Brittney, Jade, Jana and William II. Dr. Glover credits God for His demonstration of goodness and continues to trust in His faithfulness throughout his Pastoral Ministry.
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Myrna – My first question to you Pastor Glover is why did why do you think God wanted you to preach on, renewing your mind?
Pastor Glover – that’s an excellent question Myrna. I ended the 2020 year with a series of messages entitled, living in your redemption. The idea being that God had already paid the price for redemption and that he’s redeemed our lives from destruction.
Whatever destruction has occurred in our lives, be it:
personal,
financial,
relational
emotional
mental
God has already invested in the price to redeem and restore us from that destruction. That message was received so well that I began to contemplate well how do I get people to embrace that, mindset, and the, renewing your mind, messages were born. If a person can hear something, but if it’s not internalized and if it’s not received, then it’s not going to have an impact on their lives.
So that series of, transformation, of your mind, messages was born out of that realization of moving people from the point of where they are, to living in the redemption and, renewing their minds.
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Myrna – you talked about the three different parts of the, mind, that God wants transformed.
Can you share with us the three different parts of the, mind?
Pastor Glover – Sure there are different aspects to each individual sermon, but the broad overview is the reason the, mind, is important is found in the wisdom literature. Scripture reveals that the, mind, is connected to and influences:
our psyche
our conscious
and our heart
When we talk about, renewing of the mind, it is not simply about changing or adjusting how you think, but it impacts your sense of, self-consciousness. It impacts your, conscience, which is your sense of what is right and wrong. It impacts your heart, which in Hebrew literature is the center of your being.
So, renewing your mind, runs much deeper than simply making confessions and changing how you think upon a thing. Apostle Paul teaches “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the, renewing of your mind”
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One is internal and one is external. It impacts our, psyche, our consciousness, and our heart. So it is the, transformation, of the total person, the total being.
What is the Flexible mind, the Fluid Mind and the Fixed Mind?
We need to have a conversation about what kind of, mindset, you are working with.
Is your, mindset, flexible?
Is your, mindset, fluid?
Or do you have a, fixed mindset? Which could be good or bad depending on what it’s fixed on.
When we talk about the, psyche, the, psyche, being your sense of, self-consciousness. Why do we need, renewing of your mind, in your sense of, self-consciousness? Because it’s our sense of awareness, our sense of, self-worth. It also is our mental and emotional health, so if your, mind, is not flexible, you need work in your sense of awareness.
Some people who are not self-aware or there’s some people who suffer from, low self-esteem, or there’s some people who are damaged mentally and emotionally. If you don’t have a, flexible mindset, which means pliable then you will resist God doing the eternal work in your, psyche, to, transform your mind. So, in order for, transformation, to occur you have to have a, flexible mindset.
There can be no, transformation, if you’re unwilling to change.
The Fluid Mindset
Conversely a, fluid mindset, means that you are evolving, you are open to change. If you don’t have a, fluid mindset, you internalize and have what some call “stinking thinking.” You have a toxic, mindset, about yourself or about people. For instance oftentimes when people experience hurt in a relationship, they’ll say I’ll never trust another man again or I’ll never trust another woman again.
So, if you don’t have a, fluid mindset, you’re not willing to let that, transformation, happen and embrace truth.
The Fixed Mindset
The third, mindset, you mentioned was a, fixed mindset. Just like when we lay concrete, we have to do the work before the concrete sets, because once it sets it’s fixed. So, we have to be careful what we let set in our minds. We have to do the work while the concrete is fluid and pliable.
A, fixed mindset, is like set concrete.
Transformation, of the mind, is like renovation of a house. You’ve got to rip out things, knock down walls or beliefs before you can put in the new things or new learnings.
When we’re inviting God to, transform your mind, then we have to understand our, psyche, our, self-consciousness, and our heart. That’s why the, mind, is so important because it is connected to all of these aspects of the human person and they’re all interrelated yet distinct.
Myrna – Someone with a, fixed mindset, like concrete why did you say that God can use this person?
In the, Life coaching, world, when we talk about a, fixed mindset, we’re saying that there’s no growth in this person. But if your, mind, is set like concrete, is it possible for it to be changed?
Pastor Glover – Well yes but again you must have awareness of your, fixed mindset. You can get at that concrete two different ways. Through, transformation, which speaks to internal work that has to be done. The word, transformation, comes from the Greek word metamorphosis and so that speaks of going through a, transformation, but it starts from the inside out.
The other word that’s used is, renewing, which literally has to do with renovating. When concrete sets, the only way to change it is to get a jackhammer and that’s very painful work. People oftentimes will not choose to do that work, because it is painful, noisy, and messy. But if you’re going to lay a new foundation in your life, you must do the, mental, emotional and spiritual work to jackhammer a, fixed mindset.
Myrna – How can God jackhammer to change that, fixed mindset?
Fixed mindset in marital relationships
Pastor Glover – I think an example in the context of, relationships, particularly in the context of, marital relationships, a lot of work that has to be jackhammered in counseling sessions really has to do those, fixed mindsets, about marriage that have been set, but are toxic and are not healthy.
Couples have very different ideas about the foundation of a, marriage, and what it should be about. It is really about how men and women are socialized in our society. Young girls are socialized towards inter interdependent relationships. That’s means they play together, they share much more readily than men do. They are invested in group success as they are reared and everybody kind of having a good time.
Boys are socialized totally different. They are taught to stand on your own two feet, be independent. Be a man, don’t share your emotions. So, men are much less equipped than women in, marital relationships, to handle a, fixed mindset, that’s why women are 10 times more verbal than men.
One of the fun exercises I like to do when I’m dealing with, communication, is I’ll ask the man and the woman to get a sheet of paper and have each one writes me all the feeling words they are aware of. The woman’s list is four times longer than the man,
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I’m curious though you also say in your message that God can use a, fixed mindset.
Pastor Glover – When you lay concrete, it’s properly set, it is suitable for what you want to build on it. So, let’s pull in this conversation, purpose and destiny. If you have great purpose or great destiny, you have to take the time to lay the foundation. If your foundation is fixed, God can build on it.
People do not take the time to factor in the type of foundation they need to lay to accommodate their dreams and visions of what they want. That can be applied to anything, in my book “30 Days of Excellence” I teach that excellence is in the foundation that you lay for, purpose and destiny.
Be ye not conformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Why did God say that do not be transformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind?
The World is Battling for your Mind
Pastor William L Glover – Because it is all a battle for the, mind. This simple principle is found in Proverbs.
“As a man thinketh so is he”
Your, mindset, determines the reflection of who you are and it determines who you will be.
We would never be greater than our thoughts about things.
We would never rise above our thoughts about things.
We will never allow ourselves to be pulled beneath our thoughts about things.
Our thoughts reflect where we are going.
It’s a battle for your, mind. The world we live in today, people don’t want to do the work, to think for themselves. There is professional, think tanks, and these, think tanks, think for people and feed them what to believe, what to say.
They all are vying for our, minds, we don’t tune in to learn anymore from the news, we tune in to determine what we need to think. So, hence “do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the, renewing of your mind.
That, transformation,
happens through the word of God,
that, transformation, happens through your relationship with God
that, transformation, happens through a community of faith like-minded believers who are committed to growth.
Transformation is from the heart.
Your, heart, which is the center of your being, the seat of your soul and this is important because wisdom literature teaches us that we should guard your heart for from it flow the issues of life.
Everything that matters, that’s important to us impacts our, heart. If the, heart, is injured, broken or unhealthy because the, heart, plumps the pumps the blood. The, heart, pumps the influence of that thing to your spirit and to your soul and to your body.
So, when we talk about the, transformation, then it’s holistic and God is always at work in our lives trying to move us to a place of wholeness in all three of these areas as it pertains to renewal and, transformation.
As we wrap up how can listeners connect with Mt Hermon Ministries Fort Myers? Tell us about your books and how we can connect on social media.
You can connect with our ministry, we are currently streaming on YouTube and Facebook at MT Hermon Ministries. You can join us Sundays at 11 a.m. you can go to our website.
The justice book which is about your community of faith finding relative relevance as a change agent in your community
30 Days of Excellence which is a 30-day devotion that cultivates habits of excellence in your life and
Ready for the Harvest which teaches us how to apply the principle of seed time and harvest in our lives and all these can be found on Amazon.
You can contact me personally at dr.wmglover0613@gmail.com
My Spiritual Father Helped in the Renewing of My Mind
I enjoyed the conversation, so thank you like we’ve known each other for 14 years let me also state how proud I am of you forging the way. I remember when you began this journey and witnessing your evolution and growth. Witnessing how God is enlarging your territory, makes me very proud. I want to encourage you to continue that journey.
Myrna – Thank you Pastor and I’ll share something publicly with you that when I wrote my book and you said that you’re proud of me, it brought tears to my eyes because it was the first
Time someone told me that. My father had never said he was proud of me.
As my spiritual father thank you so much for saying that I appreciate it. God sent me to you specifically I didn’t share our story of how I came to be under your guidance, but our connection has a purpose.
Thank you for tuning in to the Transform your Mind to Transform your Life radio podcast and television show. If you are um listening on iTunes I would love for you to subscribe, rate and review. I also want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach.
In this blog post, I’m exploring the concept of drinking your, cup of suffering, like Jesus did. Jesus asked God to take this, cup of suffering, from him if it is his will. But Jesus had to drink his, cup of suffering, to get to his purpose and destiny.
Suffering is usually the pathway to, personal growth, so you must learn to, embrace pain, and suffering as part of your journey and growth. When you drink your, cup of suffering, you’re able to transform your pain and suffering into something positive. This podcast episode is about finding compassion and strength in the face of difficulty, and it’s something that can be helpful on any journey. If you’re looking for a way to overcome hardship, this episode is for you!
In the garden of Gethsemane Jesus, born with the ability to see his future knew of his impending death. He knew his purpose for becoming God in the flesh was to die for our sins, yet even as a God in flesh he was not looking forward to suffering. The scripture says he became anguished and distressed.
He told his disciples “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. He prayed to God his father and asked him to take the, cup of suffering, from him, if it is his will. Then he prayed again and said “if this, cup of suffering, cannot be taken away unless I drink it, then your will be done.
So, let’s talk today about suffering. Most of us will suffer before we die just like Jesus did. The Buddha teaches that we can transcend suffering with our minds.
Let’s imagine that you were just given a diagnosis of stage 4 cancer. So like Jesus you know suffering is coming and maybe even death.
You pray and ask God for a miracle, but at some point, you realize that you have to drink your, cup of suffering.
One of the ways to drink your, cup of suffering, and not choke, is to look at what comes after your suffering.
Jesus knew that he would raise from the dead in 3 days and his suffering was for a purpose. The shedding of his blood was to redeem our sins. So, he made plans with his disciples. He told them “after I have been raised from the dead, I will go ahead of you to Galilee and meet you there.”
So, if you have been given a diagnosis that could lead to suffering and pain, if you can see yourself healed and maybe taking that trip that’s still on your bucket list. See yourself with family and friends totally healthy and cancer free. That will allow you to be in pain, but not suffer. Suffering is resistance to the now. As Eckhart Tolle teaches the now is already here there is nothing you can do, other than accept it.
All suffering is emotionally created and is due to resistance. If you refuse to go with the flow of life, you will suffer. Suffering is usually for a purpose. You must have deep pain or suffering to be drawn to the spiritual dimension.
And if it is God’s will that you transition to the other side you will still meet up with friends and family who are waiting for you there in heaven.
The Buddha on suffering
Anyone who has had even the briefest introduction to Buddhist teaching is familiar with its starting point: the inescapable truth that existence entails suffering. Buddhist psychology makes a clear distinction between pain and suffering. Pain is an unavoidable aspect of the natural world. It is physical, biological, and social, woven into our existence as night is with day, as inevitable as hard and soft, as hot and cold.
In this human incarnation we experience a continuous ebb and flow of pleasure and pain, gain and loss. Suffering is different from pain. Suffering is caused by our reaction to the inevitable pain of life. Our personal suffering can include anxiety, depression, fear, confusion, grief, anger, hurt, addiction, jealousy, and frustration. But suffering is not only personal.
Our collective suffering grows from human greed, hatred, and ignorance, bringing warfare and racism; the isolation and torture of prisoners; fueling the unnecessary hunger, sickness, and abandonment of human beings on every continent. This individual and collective suffering.
Conclusion
Pain is inevitable part of life, suffering is optional.
Thanks for tuning into this weeks episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna.
Kristina Mand-Lakhiani, co founder of Mindvalley, shares how to become flawesome with radical self acceptance. If you’ve ever felt burdened by perfectionism, pressured to be someone you’re not, and driven to live up to other people’s expectations even if it means concealing your true self, then this podcast episode is for you.
In this episode, Kristina talks about the concepts of perfectionism, flawesome, and self-acceptance. She shares with you her journey of self-discovery and how these concepts have helped her to become flawesome!
Myrna: You are the co-founder of MindValley with Vishen Lakiani. I love Vishen Lakiani I think that you guys do good work and I know the story because I’ve gone to several of his webinars and read his books. I know the story of how he came about to start MindValley and his journey. So let’s talk about you today, why did you begin this personal development company? What motivated and inspired you?
Kristina: I mean you know whether it’s the same as Vishen’s or not but what is what is the story behind Mindvalley? That question will require a little bit of a background, so the founder of Mindvalley is Vishen Lakiani and by the family name Lakiani you might guess we are related. We used to be married for 16 years, so when Vishen was starting MindValley it was back in 2003.
I had moved to New York, we got married in 2003. I had moved to New York from Europe and I was looking for a job and Vishen had a job and he had a side hustle which became MindValley. I usually say that I ended up in, personal growth, reluctantly and by accident and that’s absolutely true. I had nothing better to do but to help Vishen with his side business because he had a full-time job and we depended on his income as a family.
We depended on it so I thought it was the right thing to do, but at that time I would also say, I thought I ended up in, personal growth, reluctantly and obstinately because I was still planning to make my own career somewhere else. I started in the government working in a very different field from, personal growth, so it took years before I accepted my fate.
MindValley is now a top personal growth company
Myrna: I know Vishen’s story that his business that he had. I think it was doing websites. You said it was like a, side hustle, that’s amazing that the company for anybody that doesn’t know about MindValley it’s like a top 10 company in, personal growth, in the world.
Kristina: We have grown yes and we have changed since the beginning since 2003 so definitely it’s been quite a journey and yeah we do consider ourselves one of the biggest education companies in personal growth and transformation.
Myrna: All right so then you started in your personal journey and according to your personal growth journey I should say and according to your bio you got to work with some of the greats. I’m in the space you know so I know all these different people I love Michael Beckwick. I love his work. I love Bob Proctor and I don’t do a lot with Lisa Nichols because she basically teaches you how to be a professional speaker, but I know that you know she has done very well for herself.
So what is one of the greatest lessons you’ve learned from Michael Beckwith let’s just pick one or if you want to use one of the other ones that’s in your bio you know it’s so hard to be picking uh like one of the greatest lessons from any of the people.
Lesson of self acceptance from Michael Beckwith
Kristina: I probably learned from Michael Beckwith the lesson that I have learned would be a little bit reversed from what you would expect. I’ll give you a situation of course I’ve heard him speak and I’ve heard his teachings, but the lesson came in a different shape and form. So I started working in, personal growth, and transformation as an entrepreneur and a marketer initially so I got to know all these people as their partner in the sense because we were helping them to get their word out to to other people.
So I wasn’t ever their colleague in the sense that I wasn’t one of the authors. It happened much later at some point I re-invented myself and my life and it would be a completely different story, but some five six years ago I started going into becoming an author because I was ready. I had embraced, personal growth, and transformation and it was it was quite a few years ago.
I remember I was going on MindValley Stage and we have a very impressive stage and we had a huge audience probably one of my biggest at that time and I was following Michael Beckwith and a few other people and I remember being completely terrified because I felt, who am I to go on stage after all those people? I do actually mention Michael Beckwith in that story because he is such an energetic and such a strong speaker that when you listen to him you’re hooked. you’re just there and I have a very different style, so I remember going on stage and having this huge impostor syndrome thinking how can I compare.
From impostor syndrome to self acceptance
I can never be as good as Michael Beckwith speaking. I can never be as good as another speaker who was there who had built a massive company. I could never be as good as another speaker there who had written a bestselling book and was super famous. I was comparing myself faster and faster to all those great people and feeling smaller and smaller and smaller until I remembered the words of a friend of mine who said we are so hooked on the idea that we have this one talent that we are forgetting that we are multi-talented.
That actually helped me to suddenly realize that it is not in this one thing where I have to be the best in the world, but in the unique combination of things that make me who I am. That’s where probably the biggest value that I have for the world. Michael Beckwith was one person who taught me, self acceptance. There are people who are so much better, so much more accomplished than me in every single area, if I take them separately, but what gives me value is the combination of my works, of my unique features of the things that maybe I am ashamed of. That combination is what gives me my unique value and what gives me the right to be on stage with all those wonderful people.
Lisa Nichols helped me become Flawesome
Myrna: Lisa Nichols is a powerful speaker. I saw her quite recently, she’s awesome, but what I just love what you just said is that we all have this inferiority complex because you know we think that someone is is better than us but I love what he says that our combination is what makes us unique.
Kristina: We often think that our lessons come in very clear messages and of course Michael doesn’t teach that. He teaches, self acceptance, that is what I learned from that interaction and that’s interesting. You know Lisa Nichols for example, she’s wonderful in so many ways and she actually has taught me public speaking one-on-one including, self acceptance, of my accent and flaws.
She’s such a wonderful human being but the one thing I learned from her is one this is one saying that she occasionally says in some of her speeches.
The world has no need for your perfection
Conscious uncoupling after divorce
Myrna: So let’s talk about you, back to you now and some of the things that you bring to the table. One of the things you talk about is, hacking happiness, after, conscious uncoupling. You were married to Vishen for 16 years that’s a long time, in fact that’s how long I’ve been married to my current husband 16 years. you’re talking about, conscious uncoupling, hacking happiness.
Kristina: Well, conscious uncoupling, is actually a term coined by another of Mindvalley authors Catherine Woodward Thomas
For me and Vishen it was just a journey we chose to take when we decided to separate. Vishen had known Catherine by then and he had known about this concept so we did follow her teachings to a degree, but I think any kind of relationship is a product of these two people. So you can learn from other person how to be a good parent, how to have a happy marriage.
I think that every couple that uncouples consciously and couples according to Catherine Woodward Thomas has their own story and the other examples that I’ve seen. I don’t normally talk about relationships because it’s not my forte. I do talk about, hacking happiness, although not connected to uncoupling per se.
Hacking happiness: conscious uncoupling
I talk about, hacking happiness, as a choice, as a trainable skill as maybe a habit which is very contrary to a lot of ideas. I like to talk about happiness especially to very skeptical people because they always make you see things in a new light in a way. I do talk about happiness, but not in relation to uncoupling because I think in that aspect I’m still in the process. I mean we uncoupled four years ago and you might say that it’s long enough time, but we are in each other’s life’s a lot we grow children together.
We still have business together, we are friends, we do a lot of things together, so I think as long as we have each other in each other’s life it will be a constantly evolving relationship.
Myrna: Well at least you parted amicably. What I know about relationships is it’s very hard to, consciously uncouple, because it’s either you did something that hurt me and I don’t want anything to do with you. It’s very hard to say we are better separate than we are together and we’re gonna, consciously uncouple, and put our kids first. That term , consciously uncoupling, has become popular because you know the word that I heard before was, co-parenting.
Kristina: I would strongly recommend studying Catherine Thomas because she has the experience, she’s a psychotherapist who has been working with couples focusing on relationships. We do need to re-imagine the end of relationships. We have such a rigid approach to that relationship is only a success if it lasts, but that’s not the case. We have all witnessed relationships that maybe lasts a really long time but it’s dead inside.
Catherine suggests and I really love this idea is why don’t we judge the successful relationship not by the length of a relationship but by the extent that both people have maybe evolved or created things together.
Hacking Happiness: The Art of becoming Flawesome
Myrna: you also talk about how can we live by our own rules and walk in our fruit and um you know that’s basically our topic today, hacking happiness, and the Art of becoming flawsome. Tell us what that word means because I’m putting my own interpretation to it.
Kristina: I’m very reluctant to give definition of the word flawesome even in my book. My editor insisted that I have to add it. My book well it’s called Becoming flawesome. It is a book about, self acceptance, and finding your way back to you. Our flaws is just this necessary condition because when you find your way back to you, you will discover that probably you’re not that picture of perfection that you have been drawing in your head and aspiring for.
Become flawesome by accepting your flaws and practicing, self acceptance. Becoming flawesome is a personal experience and you are absolutely right it’s about embracing your flaws and being okay with them. It’s embracing your flaws, it’s learning to not just accept, but love yourself with your flaws, and maybe not even with the flaws, but because of them. Because every single facet of you makes you unique.
Even those things that you maybe are feeling ashamed about or don’t want to show to the world they are a part of you that makes you uniquely you and if you have the courage to go further and deeper, it is about about finding strengths in the things that you might have considered your flaws choosing them to become your blessing rather than your curse.
Conclusion: Your self acceptance journey
Yes as you were talking you know a lot of women including me.
Myrna: Let’s talk about your book, how did you come up with that title and what is it that you want the um readers to walk away?
Kristina: I hope that this book is going to be a companion on the journey back to you for every single reader. However many readers I’m going to get, that’s how many destinations this book will have. I don’t teach people, I don’t believe in teaching, I believe transformation happens when people are ready and who am I to teach anyone, but I am a companion, I have been through this journey. I ask a lot of questions. I hold the hand, so I do believe and hope that this book is everybody’s individual unique journey back to, self acceptance.
Myrna; How can our audience get a copy of your book and connect with you on social media. Let us know your website and your Instagram or your social media handles.
Kristina: My name is a little complicated, but the rest is easy so my name is Kristina Mand-Lakiani my website is www.kristinamand.com and then the book is slash book so it’s super easy. My handle for all all the social media Instagram Facebook is the same https://www.instagram.com/kristinamand/
